I used to think love meant forever, but I know better now. I can't offer anyone forever. Even if I offer someone the rest of my life, who knows how long that will be. Or won't be.

I hate feeling torn in two. I hate John thinking I'm only biding my time.

I hate knowing he's right.

I've started thinking about our future. I catch myself thinking about things like what we'll do for Christmas and if he's the type to celebrate anniversaries. (Lisa liked anniversaries. I liked them for her sake ( Read more... )

If anyone notices that one man went through the door into the coffee shop and two come out a moment later, they say nothing about it.

Ianto will check the CCTV later, anyway. Just to be sure.

"Tailor first?" he says to Constantine. He's still holding his hand.

[ooc: Warning for adult content.]

Sex with Constantine is never bad--it's often good, sometimes great, sometimes overwhelming.

John has outdone himself tonight, bringing Ianto to the edge over and over before finally letting him over, and it's some time before Ianto can do more than brush his fingers over John's back, before he can even think.

When he does, it's I can't lose this ( Read more... )

Ianto's room is just like any number of midlevel hotel rooms in any number of hotels around the world: double bed, desk, chair, mirror, bureau.

He guides John carefully to the bed. "Let's get you lying down--there we go--"

I think it's too much to say we're "together." But we are . . . something.

One of these days I should tell him when I go into the bar, he's the person I hope to see.

[Post Mikey gives Ianto some special brownies.]

When Ianto comes back from Milliways, he's in the Hub.

This is bad.

Normally this would be good because he'd just go back to work. Today . . . well, he hasn't had to hide dilated pupils and rapid pulse since he was sixteen.

God, he's hungry.

We both knew I'd never stay away, I think. Where would I go, what would I do? Even if I never remembered, I'd still feel the loss.

And he's used to me now. I think we'd miss each other just as much.

I don't regret Sam or John or any of it. We all have to find our own ways of grieving.

There is no one door that brings Ianto to Milliways. At the Hub, it's sometimes the door between reception and the hallway that leads down to the Hub proper, but more often the door that leads to the archives ( Read more... )

Jack said to rest and consider his options, and Ianto has been doing so. He's been writing in his diary and drinking a lot of coffee, both in shops near his flat and in Milliways--though sleep has been harder to come by, all good intentions aside ( Read more... )