On heartache and public grieving

Jul 12, 2012 10:18

It's been almost a year since i've posted, I've been more of an LJ Stalker, reading and responding to posts rather than contribute to my own ( Read more... )

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I'm so sorry Amy cynthia_french July 13 2012, 00:09:42 UTC
I feel for you deeply, for the family, the 5 year old girl.

Suicide stabs me in the heart and eyeballs every time I hear a story. It's a bald head without sunscreen in the Arizona desert. I fear it's a time bomb that I carry in place of a biological clock.

And I don't understand the public grieving much either. I, like you, tend to be stone faced. In fact, you're one of very few people I have ever really let myself break down in front of.

So if you need a rock, I can be that hard thing for you. If you need to talk or vent or laugh or whatever, I know I'm too far away to take you out for yogurt and crazy Japanese photo booth shopping excursions, but I am here, and I have a phone and email account.

If you need anything.

Know that I love you, and I'm thinking about you, and that it's perfectly ok for you to cry for 31 more days, or 32, or just 2, or whatever it takes.

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Re: I'm so sorry Amy like_a_polaroid July 13 2012, 00:47:49 UTC
Thank love. I could use some yogurt, random nudity, and japanese stickers in my day.

When I was consoling my sister on the phone, we decided we need to make sure his daughter grows up feeling loved, and part of a family. We are going to continue to include her, and her mom more now than ever in family BBQs and random afternoons in the pool.

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you and your sister cynthia_french July 13 2012, 00:52:19 UTC
Are going to be the best second-cousin/auntie role models ever!

I see little gold lamet cat suits and purple head bands.

I see jugs of limeaid and fancy fingernail polish parties.

I see kitchen tables piled with crafting supplies and skateboard park outings.

Sending truckloads of love!

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like_a_polaroid July 13 2012, 17:10:08 UTC
Thank you.

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givemelaughter July 14 2012, 21:20:23 UTC
that poor girl. one day she's gonna be old enough to fully grasp what suicide means, how much it is indeed a motherfucker. I'm hoping you'll be there for her when she does. I'm sure she'll need you.

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like_a_polaroid July 16 2012, 16:13:26 UTC
Thanks. <3

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like_a_polaroid July 16 2012, 16:13:19 UTC
<3

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I have you and your family in my thoughts. kat0ninetales July 18 2012, 20:52:43 UTC
I know you know this, but you don't have to always be strong.
Allow yourself whatever you need to process.

And what you said about making sure his 5-year-old knows she's loved--that's what it's all about. That's the real strength; holding your family together.

I love you.

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Re: I have you and your family in my thoughts. like_a_polaroid July 19 2012, 00:23:48 UTC
Thank you.

I'm working with my Cousin's wife, to make a hard bound book of memories of Myles.
Family and friends have all been asked to write down memories of him, and I'm going to make a book, with copies going to her and his parents.

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