Supernatural/BSB/NSYNC
Title: Demons Among the Rich & Famous
Author: like-i-love-you
Rating: R
Fandom: Supernatural/BSB/NSYNC
Pairings: primarily Chris/Nick, Sam/Dean
Disclaimer: I don’t own the Winchesters. I don’t know the boybanders.
Summary: Things between BSB and NSYNC are messy even though not everyone knows why. The Winchester boys help fix things.
Warnings: Reference to past sexual assault. Attempted sexual assault. Very little detail.
Author's Notes: Don’t let the boyband beginning scare you off. NSYNC never broke up. BSB didn’t take a hiatus. AJ is still drinking.
PROLOGUE
Justin curled up in the cold dark place. It felt like concrete under him. He was naked. He couldn’t see. Finally he slept. He awoke to feel another body under him. He tried to move, to control his body but he couldn’t. He started screaming but of course no one could hear. Then he saw the knife.
Justin heard his mother’s voice singing a lullaby she sang when he was little. He knew it wasn’t real but that didn’t matter. He listened to her voice and ignored the horror. Her voice was his little candle in the darkness and he held on tight.
PART 1
Kevin couldn’t sleep. He did not need the stress of being on this Good Will tour, and really it was all Timberlake's fault. He didn’t even have the decency to let Nick finish his walk down the red carpet. Had to step out early like the drama queen he was. Nick might have thrown the first punch, but Timberlake had started the whole thing years ago. All this thinking took Kevin right back to where he had started, unable to sleep. The shared fan base had taken sides and both groups were losing so management came up with the Good Will tour to prove both groups could get along. Kevin just hoped they all survived. They not only had several joint songs, but they had to share rooms and tour buses; which is how Kevin came to be trying sleeping in the bunk across from Timberlake.
JC was hiding in his bunk. He’d been stuck with Brian and he had no idea what to do. People seemed to think that all boybanders knew each other but they didn’t. JC had heard that Brian was very straight, very Christian, and very moral with tradition values. JC was very bi, very sexually adventurous, and not traditionally masculine- hello, glitter shirts. He had no idea what to say to Brian. How was he ever supposed to ask for a few hours in their hotel rooms without Brian there? It was all very awkward. JC hated awkward.
AJ danced his way passed Lance. He couldn’t believe he’d been stuck with Bass. It was better than Timberlake for sure, but the man could be so boring. There was alcohol and porn to be had and guess who was busy working? Lance. AJ knew Bass could party, but apparently work was better than partying with AJ. He turned up the volume on the tv. Let him work to a porno soundtrack. AJ grinned and took another drink.
Nick had a big problem. He was bi. Actually he was more likely gay but that wasn’t the problem. The problem was he tends like his men, well, like Chris. Chris who was currently making him laugh. Chris of the jokes and that smile. A man 9 years older who some of Nick’s band mates would call the enemy. To Nick’s way of thinking that fact that Timberlake was an asshole and, no he was not going to think about that, not now. The point is Nick’s never believed all of NSYNC were bad. Actually now that he thought about it he had a bigger problem than having to share a bus and hotel rooms with Chris. With Chris he was probably going to see a whole lot of Justin and what if Chris had to leave the room or go to the bathroom. He could hear himself start to hyper ventilate. Oh god. He had to stay calm. Chris’s voice cut out and then Nick heard the other man ask if he was okay. Nick couldn’t answer.
When Chris finally got Nick breathing right he was relieved.
“What happened? The older man asked.
“Don’t tell Kevin!” Nick begged.
“What?” Chris was surprised.
“I told them I’d be fine. I could handle this. Kevin would want to cancel the tour. He’d do it too.” Nick explained staring at his feet.
Chris sighed. “I’m not trying to ask you tell me things that you’re really not comfortable telling me. It’s just that we’re going to be sharing the bus and hotels rooms, and fuck you scared me.”
“Sorry.” Nick looked up from his feet and shrugged. “I have panic attacks. Shit happened. I have triggers. Look you did the right thing getting me to breath.” Nick paused a moment. “Can you please just not tell anyone?”
“For now. But if it gets worse, no promises.” Chris answered.
“I guess I can live with that.” Nick gave a half smile. “I think I’ll head to bed now.”
Chris new what triggers were from his college days studying psychology. Even if it hadn’t been a traditional trigger Nick’s use of the word meant that something had brought up the memories of whatever it was he’d been through. It wasn’t just a stray thought in Carter’s brain. Whatever Nick had been through had to be bad in Chris’s estimation. He tried to remember what he’d been talking about. He’d been talking about something funny that had happened to him and, Justin! Nick had freaked when he’d brought up Justin. It made no sense Justin was a good kid. Sure they didn’t hang out much anymore; Justin was always off doing his own thing. It made sense. The kid was 21 and he’s spent the last 7 years with the group. The whole thing made Chris’s head hurt. He knows Justin. He knows what hearing Justin’s name just did to Nick. It didn’t make any sense. Finally Chris concluded he should just go to bed. For now he would do nothing but keep his eyes open.
Howie couldn’t sleep. They shouldn’t be on this tour. He wished for the thousandth time that Nick had gone to anyone but him. He completely understood why Nick had chosen him, the one person who would take this secret to the grave. The rest of Boys would have wanted to do something about it. They would have acted out against all of NSYNC and it would have gotten ugly. So, Howie had been the one to hold Nick while he cried. He called up his childhood physician, the only doctor he trusted enough, to come see Nick. He held Nick while he cried his way through the necessary examination. He was the one to find a therapist that could be trusted. Howie kept his mouth shut when everyone wanted to know what was wrong with Nick. He kept his mouth shut when management informed them of the tour. It was a miracle that Nick had come through it all as well as he had, and he had plenty of problems. Howie just hoped that they could bring Nick back after whatever this tour did to him.
PART 2
Chris sat staring into the dark. He was glad Nick was out with the other Boys. He couldn’t cry though he thought it might have been better than the numbness. Nick was avoiding Justin. He was almost never in a room with Justin unless one of the other Boys was around, especially Howie. Chris didn’t think Nick had been in a room alone with Justin at all. He might have thought staying away from Justin would be hard, but Justin was avoiding Nick. Chris didn’t think he could do this. He wanted to go back a week to before the tour. When things weren’t all fucked up. When he didn’t know why Nick unconsciously rubbed his right hip when Justin got too close. He wished that earlier this evening he’d heard Nick and known he wasn’t still out, instead of walking in on him changing in the bathroom. Then he wouldn’t have seen the sliced up, scared skin on Nick’s hip. He didn’t know if Justin had done that or just something else Nick had been obscuring. Chris didn’t know his best friend anymore, had to wonder if he ever really had. He wanted to hide his head in the sand and pretend he didn’t know. He wanted to do something but he didn’t know what or how. Chris sat in the dark staring at nothing and wished he could call his mother and cry.
Nick opened the door and flipped on the light to see Chris sitting on his bed blinking at the sudden brightness.
“Chris, you alright man?” Nick asked the concern clear in his voice.
Chris let out a strangled hysterical laugh at the honest concern.
“My best friend is a monster.” Chris spoke and then stopped short. “I said that out loud didn’t I.” It wasn’t a question.
“What are you talking about?” Nick’s hands were trembling. He leaned against the wall just beside the door and didn’t even notice when his right hand settled over the scar on his hip.
“I know. About Justin. Only I can’t tell you except I just did. I can’t confront him or tell the rest of the guys because then you’d have to talk. I just want my best friend back only maybe I never knew him. And this is completely the wrong time to tell you I think you’re fucking gorgeous and if you weren’t straight I’d have asked you out on a date by now.” Another small hysterical giggle escaped Chris’s throat.
Nick’s legs were jelly and he slid down the wall to sit on the floor. He tried to breathe and stay calm but it was a futile effort. He felt the panic attack wash over him.
Chris stared at Nick and tried to get up. His legs gave out and he hit the back of his head against the bed as he landed on the floor. He could feel and hear the hysterical giggles. He knew they were coming from him, but he couldn’t stop. He finally pulled his phone out of his pocket and managed to dial Lance.
“It’s Nick. Get Howie.” The hysteria nearly overwhelmed the communication. He could hear Lance saying his name. Chris wanted to pick up the phone again but he was clutching his stomach against the pain from all the hysterical laughing. He felt a tear drop hit his hand and wondered when he’d started crying.
Lance entered the room ahead of Howie thankful that the door was unlocked and froze for a moment. At first all he could see was Chris. Then Nick’s foot registered and he turned to see Nick struggling to breathe. It was only seconds and then Lance was crossing the room to Chris. Howie could holler if he needed help with Nick. He called Chris’s name and touched his shoulder but got no response. He knelt down and shook Chris gently. The older man looked up for a moment before turning into Lance and completely losing it. Lance sat down and pulled Chris half into his lap. He had no idea what was going on and that scared him. He held Chris while he sobbed; whispering shushing noises and praying it would all be alright. He looked up to check on Nick and saw that he was breathing better although he appeared to have a death grip on Howie’s hand.
“I think I could love him.” Lance startled at the sound of Chris voice. He didn’t bother asking who Chris was talking about because he was still sobbing.
PART 3
Howie took a deep breath and looked at himself in the bathroom mirror. He needed to pull himself together to go face Lance. Nick and Chris were settled on one of the beds wrapped around each other. He thought that should have disturbed him more than it did. It certainly would have if he had known that Nick’s right hand was not over his scar but clutching Chris’s right hand. It was Chris’s left hand that rested on Nick’s scar. Howie took one last deep breath. He could do this. He’d been saying the same things to the other Boys for the last several years. They were some of the closest people in his life. Lance Bass was nothing. He ignored the little voice that said “this isn’t just about Nick anymore” and the lingering echo of Chris’s hysterical laughter that hung in his mind.
“Lance, I already told you. It’s not mine to tell. There is nothing you can say.” Howie took in the look on Lance’s face, turned, and punched the door. “I want to tell you. I want to tell the rest of the Boys. I’ve been carrying this around for too damn long. The two professionals who helped know but they’re not mine to talk to. They’re Nicks. The only person on this planet I have told anything to was a priest at a random church at a random stop on a tour.” Howie took a deep breath realizing how loud he had gotten. “Chris can talk to Nick. He can talk to me. Whether he talks to any of you is between Nick, himself, and his conscious. Please don’t push him. It’s just... It will fuck him up worse. I can promise you that.” Howie looked Lance right in the eye waiting for an answer.
“I... fuck! Fuck. Alright I won’t ask. Just let him know he can talk to me.” Lance sighed.
“I’ll stay with them. I think it would be best for Nick if you weren’t there when he woke up. I’ll call you when Chris is up.” Howie gave Lance a sad smile. Lance just gave him a look back. There wasn’t anything he could say.
As Lance headed back to his room he realized he was probably going to trash it and all his stuff so he called management.
“I don’t care where but I need a private room and a punching bag.”
PART 4
The whole tour had been walking on egg shells for two weeks but nobody would talk. Management was pissed. Chris, Nick, and Howie were now sharing a bus and hotel rooms. Lance was staying with Joey leaving AJ on his own. Something had to give.
PART 5
“Why are we here?” Dean asked yet again.
“Because his name was in Dad’s journal.” Sam started. He didn’t know why he bothered answering the same question more than once. This time he didn’t finish the answer.
Sam was thankful when they finally arrived. Flashing their fake FBI badges at the concert venue had gotten them the name of the hotel. The badges then got them the room number they needed.
“We’re here about John Winchester.” Dean explained.
“That was a long time ago and I hardly knew him.” JC would never forget John.
“We just need to know the nature of your association with John Winchester.” Dean said.
“Uhm... It was kind of personal.” JC answered, blushing slightly.
“Personal?” Dean choked out and Sam elbowed him in the side.
“We’re sorry to have to ask, but a concrete answer may make further questions unnecessary.” Sam tried hard to sound apologetic.
“Look I was over 18. It was legal for me to be there but I had no business being in a place like that. I was determined to go home with someone. I picked John, and despite his obvious interest he attempted to turn me down and send me home alone. He took me home when I made it very clear if he wasn’t interested I would find someone else. I’ve been back to that place exactly once and I didn’t stay. John was right when he tried to get me to leave.” JC stared at the two rather young FBI agents. “I hope that answer is sufficient.”
Before Sam or Dean could respond the door from the next suit opened.
“JC are you here?” Justin asked crossing the room and stopping short at the site of the two suits.
“The FBI just had some questions about someone I used to know.” JC explained.
Justin stepped closer and then sound of the EMF reader cut into the room.
“Sorry.” Dean said reaching into his jacket pocket to turn off the EMF reader. “There’s something wrong with our tape recorder.”
JC waved his hand to indicate it didn’t matter. “Could you come back later?” JC asked Justin. The younger man nodded and left the room.
Sam and Dean looked at one another. Then Dean spoke.
“I’m not really sure how to say this. We’re John Winchester’s sons. We’re not FBI agents and your friend is possessed by a Demon.” Dean really wished they had time to ease into this but it was the last night the bands would be in this town and really they couldn’t follow them from city to city under the guise of FBI agents.
JC’s mouth gaped. John’s sons? And wait “Demon?”
“We’re here because we found your name in our Dad’s journal. Take a look.” Sam pulled the journal out from his messenger bag and handed it to JC.
JC began looking through the journal but found he needed to sit and headed for the nearest chair. Sam came over and turned to the page with JC’s name on it. JC stared in shock.
“That’s my old number. The one I had when I met John. I left it for him even though I knew he’d never call.” JC looked up. “You’re really his sons. So how is he?”
“Dead.” Dean said abruptly.
“Dean.” Sam admonished.
“He was a good man.” JC said quietly.
“Yeah.” Dean muttered turning away. He wasn’t going to get all emotional with some stranger.
“We should figure out how to handle getting rid of the Demon.” Sam efficiently redirected the conversation to business.
“Uhm what do you need to do?” JC asked.
“Exorcism.” Dean answered.
PART 6
Justin wasn’t in his room and nobody had seen him. Finally when they called Howie he realized that they hadn’t checked his, Chris, and Nick’s room. It would make no sense for Justin to be there, unless you knew. Howie didn’t know what was going on but he was getting there now. He saw Chris realize something was wrong and jerked his head to indicate he should come. They got there in time to see JC race into the room behind two men in suits while holding a shot gun.
Sam, Dean, and JC burst into the room. JC didn’t know if he could do this. They didn’t have a better plan and he knew it was only rock salt, but he would be shooting one of his closest friends. He couldn’t think about the scene on the bed either. He just prayed Sam and Dean could do this and not need him.
Dean was the designated distraction. He was clearly no match for the demon. He just had to keep it distracted long enough for Sam to do his thing. He was pretty sure this might put him in the hospital.
Sam kept his voice steady clear and soft, loud enough to mean it but hoping not to be noticed.
Howie and Chris stared in shock. If that guy in a suit hadn’t been getting his ass kicked by a very naked Timberlake they both would have been at Nick’s side already. The whole thing was unreal. They’d actually tried to cross the room but JC had gestured them back with the shot gun. Then Timberlake finally knocked the man he was fighting down. He leapt to the other suit and grabbed the book from his hands, knocking him back against the wall. The second suit kept speaking whatever language that was and in the next second something came pouring out of Timberlake's mouth.
Suddenly it was all over. Nick was naked, still on bed too afraid to move with no idea of what had just happened. Justin was in the corner head on his knees rocking and sobbing.
“What the hell is going on?” Howie’s voice was loud and angry. Chris finally moved running across the room to Nick.
“It’s kind of a long story.” Dean answered.
Howie started forward as JC finally let go of the shotgun. It dropped to the floor as he turned to look at Howie behind him.
“I am going to take care of Justin. You take care of Nick. I don’t want one word to Justin from either of you. One of the boys can explain it to you. Someone is going to have to help me with Justin.” JC whirled to face the Winchesters. “Will one of you find a robe?” He didn’t wait for an answer as he head towards Justin.
PART 7
Howie and Chris lay on either side of Nick cocooning him in the middle. Howie hated to leave but Nick was finally asleep and they need answers. They both knew Chris wouldn’t be able to pay attention enough so Howie went.
Howie was pretty sure he was in shock as he made his way back to the room. Knowing Justin was as much a victim as Nick, that he was perhaps worse off turned his reality on its head. He had no idea how Nick would take it. Worse, JC was right. They had to tell the other guys. He only felt slightly bad that the Winchesters were playing messenger. He had Nick to worry about- and Chris. He’d already agreed to go with the Winchesters to explain everything. There was no way Nick or Justin could be there and he wasn’t leaving Nick alone. JC had said upfront that he wasn’t leaving Justin. It was just one more burden to bear.
PART 8
Nick and Chris lay curled around each other on the bed. Once again Chris was rubbing Nick’s scar. It was actually rather soothing. Nick knew that Chris didn’t fully understand why but that was okay. To Chris the scar was a reminder of what had been done to Nick. For Nick the scar was a reminder of how much he’d overcome everything. He didn’t feel the carved heart with the initials JT but the mass of lines he had put there himself, erasing the unwanted claim.
“I think we should give it to him when he gets back from the meeting.” Nick spoke softly. He’d already had two panic attacks over the fact that everyone was going to know. He was trying to keep himself from thinking about that. “The tour will have been canceled by dinner time.”
“We can do that.” Chris agreed. “It’s not finished though.”
“I know. I don’t care.” Nick shifted closer. “I just want to lie here and not think about everything. It will have to be good enough as is.”
“Okay.” Chris leaned and kissed Nick softly, once. “Sleep. You need it. I’ll wake you if you have a nightmare.”
“Thanks.” Nick whispered, closing his yes. Chris just held on tight.
PART 9
Howie was exhausted. It was late. The tour had been canceled. The boybanders had talked with the Winchesters for hours. No one was going to be okay for a long time. He just wanted to see that Nick and Chris were alright and then go to sleep. He felt like he could truly rest for the first time in a long time.
He walked into the room to see Nick and Chris curled around one another talking softly.
“You both alright?” Howie asked.
“Yes” Chris answered softly, shifting to sit and let Nick up.
Howie turned to his bag to find his tooth brush. He was surprised when he turned back to see Nick standing there holding something out.
“It’s only wrapped in a magazine page. It’s the best we could do.” Nick explained. “Take it. Go somewhere, listen, and then comeback.” Nick shook the proffered gift. Chris said nothing. He felt like a bit of a dork.
Howie took the package and stared for a moment.
“Go. Listen. Come back.” Nick ushered Howie to the door. “It’s from both of us.” Nick hollered out into the hall before shutting the door.
Nick turned to Chris looking deflated.
“He will come back?” Nick asked soft and unsure. Chris was across the room in moments, pulling the younger man into his arms.
“He’ll be back. No matter what he thinks he’ll come back if only to tell us were he’s sleeping. He’s your friend, the best kind of friend any one could ask for. That’s not going to change.” Chris spoke fiercely. “Come on, lets got to bed. He’ll wake us up.”
PART 10
Howie stared at the track listing.
Here (In Your Arms) -Hellogoodbye
Now and Forever -Richard Marx
All For Love -Bryan Adams, Rod Stewart, Sting
Beautiful in My Eyes -Joshua Kadison
Time in a Bottle - Jim Croce
I Know How the River Feels -Diamond Rio
Bless the Broken Road -Rascal Flatts
Here and Now -Luther Vandross
He’d been asked to listen to so he put the cd on and leaned back in the chair closing his eyes. He was grateful that AJ had allowed him the use of his room and laptop.
Howie only made it half way through the third song before he was up and moving, the cd left playing. He could listen to the rest of the cd tomorrow or next week. He didn’t need to hear the rest of it.
Howie entered their room and flipped on the light to find Nick and Chris asleep. He didn’t bother waking them, just slipped into bed beside Nick cocooning him in the middle. They would be there in the morning.
EPILOGUE
The Winchester boys lay wrapped around one another. Sam reached up to run his fingers over Dean’s face. He knew it bugged Dean, but for a while he’d thought it was face he might never see again. Being blind had terrified Sam. Although they’d found a counter spell and everything had worked out Sam hadn’t quite shaken the fear yet.
“Do you think Dad would have understood?” Sam asked. “I know Bobby doesn’t get it but he believes in it ever since Missouri explained it to him. It’s just... it’s Dad.” Sam trailed off.
Dean thought about it. Sam wouldn’t have asked unless it was important to him. It was a question Dean tried not to think about. He was afraid the only answer he’d find would hurt. Then he remembered the story JC had told them and he knew. Dean pulled his bother in close and kissed him once before answering.
“He was a good man.”
Author: like-i-love-you
Rating: R
Fandom: Supernatural/BSB/NSYNC
Pairings: primarily Chris/Nick, Sam/Dean
Disclaimer: I don’t own the Winchesters. I don’t know the boybanders.
Summary: Things between BSB and NSYNC are messy even though not everyone knows why. The Winchester boys help fix things.
Warnings: Reference to past sexual assault. Attempted sexual assault. Very little detail.
Author's Notes: Don’t let the boyband beginning scare you off. NSYNC never broke up. BSB didn’t take a hiatus. AJ is still drinking.
PROLOGUE
Justin curled up in the cold dark place. It felt like concrete under him. He was naked. He couldn’t see. Finally he slept. He awoke to feel another body under him. He tried to move, to control his body but he couldn’t. He started screaming but of course no one could hear. Then he saw the knife.
Justin heard his mother’s voice singing a lullaby she sang when he was little. He knew it wasn’t real but that didn’t matter. He listened to her voice and ignored the horror. Her voice was his little candle in the darkness and he held on tight.
PART 1
Kevin couldn’t sleep. He did not need the stress of being on this Good Will tour, and really it was all Timberlake's fault. He didn’t even have the decency to let Nick finish his walk down the red carpet. Had to step out early like the drama queen he was. Nick might have thrown the first punch, but Timberlake had started the whole thing years ago. All this thinking took Kevin right back to where he had started, unable to sleep. The shared fan base had taken sides and both groups were losing so management came up with the Good Will tour to prove both groups could get along. Kevin just hoped they all survived. They not only had several joint songs, but they had to share rooms and tour buses; which is how Kevin came to be trying sleeping in the bunk across from Timberlake.
JC was hiding in his bunk. He’d been stuck with Brian and he had no idea what to do. People seemed to think that all boybanders knew each other but they didn’t. JC had heard that Brian was very straight, very Christian, and very moral with tradition values. JC was very bi, very sexually adventurous, and not traditionally masculine- hello, glitter shirts. He had no idea what to say to Brian. How was he ever supposed to ask for a few hours in their hotel rooms without Brian there? It was all very awkward. JC hated awkward.
AJ danced his way passed Lance. He couldn’t believe he’d been stuck with Bass. It was better than Timberlake for sure, but the man could be so boring. There was alcohol and porn to be had and guess who was busy working? Lance. AJ knew Bass could party, but apparently work was better than partying with AJ. He turned up the volume on the tv. Let him work to a porno soundtrack. AJ grinned and took another drink.
Nick had a big problem. He was bi. Actually he was more likely gay but that wasn’t the problem. The problem was he tends like his men, well, like Chris. Chris who was currently making him laugh. Chris of the jokes and that smile. A man 9 years older who some of Nick’s band mates would call the enemy. To Nick’s way of thinking that fact that Timberlake was an asshole and, no he was not going to think about that, not now. The point is Nick’s never believed all of NSYNC were bad. Actually now that he thought about it he had a bigger problem than having to share a bus and hotel rooms with Chris. With Chris he was probably going to see a whole lot of Justin and what if Chris had to leave the room or go to the bathroom. He could hear himself start to hyper ventilate. Oh god. He had to stay calm. Chris’s voice cut out and then Nick heard the other man ask if he was okay. Nick couldn’t answer.
When Chris finally got Nick breathing right he was relieved.
“What happened? The older man asked.
“Don’t tell Kevin!” Nick begged.
“What?” Chris was surprised.
“I told them I’d be fine. I could handle this. Kevin would want to cancel the tour. He’d do it too.” Nick explained staring at his feet.
Chris sighed. “I’m not trying to ask you tell me things that you’re really not comfortable telling me. It’s just that we’re going to be sharing the bus and hotels rooms, and fuck you scared me.”
“Sorry.” Nick looked up from his feet and shrugged. “I have panic attacks. Shit happened. I have triggers. Look you did the right thing getting me to breath.” Nick paused a moment. “Can you please just not tell anyone?”
“For now. But if it gets worse, no promises.” Chris answered.
“I guess I can live with that.” Nick gave a half smile. “I think I’ll head to bed now.”
Chris new what triggers were from his college days studying psychology. Even if it hadn’t been a traditional trigger Nick’s use of the word meant that something had brought up the memories of whatever it was he’d been through. It wasn’t just a stray thought in Carter’s brain. Whatever Nick had been through had to be bad in Chris’s estimation. He tried to remember what he’d been talking about. He’d been talking about something funny that had happened to him and, Justin! Nick had freaked when he’d brought up Justin. It made no sense Justin was a good kid. Sure they didn’t hang out much anymore; Justin was always off doing his own thing. It made sense. The kid was 21 and he’s spent the last 7 years with the group. The whole thing made Chris’s head hurt. He knows Justin. He knows what hearing Justin’s name just did to Nick. It didn’t make any sense. Finally Chris concluded he should just go to bed. For now he would do nothing but keep his eyes open.
Howie couldn’t sleep. They shouldn’t be on this tour. He wished for the thousandth time that Nick had gone to anyone but him. He completely understood why Nick had chosen him, the one person who would take this secret to the grave. The rest of Boys would have wanted to do something about it. They would have acted out against all of NSYNC and it would have gotten ugly. So, Howie had been the one to hold Nick while he cried. He called up his childhood physician, the only doctor he trusted enough, to come see Nick. He held Nick while he cried his way through the necessary examination. He was the one to find a therapist that could be trusted. Howie kept his mouth shut when everyone wanted to know what was wrong with Nick. He kept his mouth shut when management informed them of the tour. It was a miracle that Nick had come through it all as well as he had, and he had plenty of problems. Howie just hoped that they could bring Nick back after whatever this tour did to him.
PART 2
Chris sat staring into the dark. He was glad Nick was out with the other Boys. He couldn’t cry though he thought it might have been better than the numbness. Nick was avoiding Justin. He was almost never in a room with Justin unless one of the other Boys was around, especially Howie. Chris didn’t think Nick had been in a room alone with Justin at all. He might have thought staying away from Justin would be hard, but Justin was avoiding Nick. Chris didn’t think he could do this. He wanted to go back a week to before the tour. When things weren’t all fucked up. When he didn’t know why Nick unconsciously rubbed his right hip when Justin got too close. He wished that earlier this evening he’d heard Nick and known he wasn’t still out, instead of walking in on him changing in the bathroom. Then he wouldn’t have seen the sliced up, scared skin on Nick’s hip. He didn’t know if Justin had done that or just something else Nick had been obscuring. Chris didn’t know his best friend anymore, had to wonder if he ever really had. He wanted to hide his head in the sand and pretend he didn’t know. He wanted to do something but he didn’t know what or how. Chris sat in the dark staring at nothing and wished he could call his mother and cry.
Nick opened the door and flipped on the light to see Chris sitting on his bed blinking at the sudden brightness.
“Chris, you alright man?” Nick asked the concern clear in his voice.
Chris let out a strangled hysterical laugh at the honest concern.
“My best friend is a monster.” Chris spoke and then stopped short. “I said that out loud didn’t I.” It wasn’t a question.
“What are you talking about?” Nick’s hands were trembling. He leaned against the wall just beside the door and didn’t even notice when his right hand settled over the scar on his hip.
“I know. About Justin. Only I can’t tell you except I just did. I can’t confront him or tell the rest of the guys because then you’d have to talk. I just want my best friend back only maybe I never knew him. And this is completely the wrong time to tell you I think you’re fucking gorgeous and if you weren’t straight I’d have asked you out on a date by now.” Another small hysterical giggle escaped Chris’s throat.
Nick’s legs were jelly and he slid down the wall to sit on the floor. He tried to breathe and stay calm but it was a futile effort. He felt the panic attack wash over him.
Chris stared at Nick and tried to get up. His legs gave out and he hit the back of his head against the bed as he landed on the floor. He could feel and hear the hysterical giggles. He knew they were coming from him, but he couldn’t stop. He finally pulled his phone out of his pocket and managed to dial Lance.
“It’s Nick. Get Howie.” The hysteria nearly overwhelmed the communication. He could hear Lance saying his name. Chris wanted to pick up the phone again but he was clutching his stomach against the pain from all the hysterical laughing. He felt a tear drop hit his hand and wondered when he’d started crying.
Lance entered the room ahead of Howie thankful that the door was unlocked and froze for a moment. At first all he could see was Chris. Then Nick’s foot registered and he turned to see Nick struggling to breathe. It was only seconds and then Lance was crossing the room to Chris. Howie could holler if he needed help with Nick. He called Chris’s name and touched his shoulder but got no response. He knelt down and shook Chris gently. The older man looked up for a moment before turning into Lance and completely losing it. Lance sat down and pulled Chris half into his lap. He had no idea what was going on and that scared him. He held Chris while he sobbed; whispering shushing noises and praying it would all be alright. He looked up to check on Nick and saw that he was breathing better although he appeared to have a death grip on Howie’s hand.
“I think I could love him.” Lance startled at the sound of Chris voice. He didn’t bother asking who Chris was talking about because he was still sobbing.
PART 3
Howie took a deep breath and looked at himself in the bathroom mirror. He needed to pull himself together to go face Lance. Nick and Chris were settled on one of the beds wrapped around each other. He thought that should have disturbed him more than it did. It certainly would have if he had known that Nick’s right hand was not over his scar but clutching Chris’s right hand. It was Chris’s left hand that rested on Nick’s scar. Howie took one last deep breath. He could do this. He’d been saying the same things to the other Boys for the last several years. They were some of the closest people in his life. Lance Bass was nothing. He ignored the little voice that said “this isn’t just about Nick anymore” and the lingering echo of Chris’s hysterical laughter that hung in his mind.
“Lance, I already told you. It’s not mine to tell. There is nothing you can say.” Howie took in the look on Lance’s face, turned, and punched the door. “I want to tell you. I want to tell the rest of the Boys. I’ve been carrying this around for too damn long. The two professionals who helped know but they’re not mine to talk to. They’re Nicks. The only person on this planet I have told anything to was a priest at a random church at a random stop on a tour.” Howie took a deep breath realizing how loud he had gotten. “Chris can talk to Nick. He can talk to me. Whether he talks to any of you is between Nick, himself, and his conscious. Please don’t push him. It’s just... It will fuck him up worse. I can promise you that.” Howie looked Lance right in the eye waiting for an answer.
“I... fuck! Fuck. Alright I won’t ask. Just let him know he can talk to me.” Lance sighed.
“I’ll stay with them. I think it would be best for Nick if you weren’t there when he woke up. I’ll call you when Chris is up.” Howie gave Lance a sad smile. Lance just gave him a look back. There wasn’t anything he could say.
As Lance headed back to his room he realized he was probably going to trash it and all his stuff so he called management.
“I don’t care where but I need a private room and a punching bag.”
PART 4
The whole tour had been walking on egg shells for two weeks but nobody would talk. Management was pissed. Chris, Nick, and Howie were now sharing a bus and hotel rooms. Lance was staying with Joey leaving AJ on his own. Something had to give.
PART 5
“Why are we here?” Dean asked yet again.
“Because his name was in Dad’s journal.” Sam started. He didn’t know why he bothered answering the same question more than once. This time he didn’t finish the answer.
Sam was thankful when they finally arrived. Flashing their fake FBI badges at the concert venue had gotten them the name of the hotel. The badges then got them the room number they needed.
“We’re here about John Winchester.” Dean explained.
“That was a long time ago and I hardly knew him.” JC would never forget John.
“We just need to know the nature of your association with John Winchester.” Dean said.
“Uhm... It was kind of personal.” JC answered, blushing slightly.
“Personal?” Dean choked out and Sam elbowed him in the side.
“We’re sorry to have to ask, but a concrete answer may make further questions unnecessary.” Sam tried hard to sound apologetic.
“Look I was over 18. It was legal for me to be there but I had no business being in a place like that. I was determined to go home with someone. I picked John, and despite his obvious interest he attempted to turn me down and send me home alone. He took me home when I made it very clear if he wasn’t interested I would find someone else. I’ve been back to that place exactly once and I didn’t stay. John was right when he tried to get me to leave.” JC stared at the two rather young FBI agents. “I hope that answer is sufficient.”
Before Sam or Dean could respond the door from the next suit opened.
“JC are you here?” Justin asked crossing the room and stopping short at the site of the two suits.
“The FBI just had some questions about someone I used to know.” JC explained.
Justin stepped closer and then sound of the EMF reader cut into the room.
“Sorry.” Dean said reaching into his jacket pocket to turn off the EMF reader. “There’s something wrong with our tape recorder.”
JC waved his hand to indicate it didn’t matter. “Could you come back later?” JC asked Justin. The younger man nodded and left the room.
Sam and Dean looked at one another. Then Dean spoke.
“I’m not really sure how to say this. We’re John Winchester’s sons. We’re not FBI agents and your friend is possessed by a Demon.” Dean really wished they had time to ease into this but it was the last night the bands would be in this town and really they couldn’t follow them from city to city under the guise of FBI agents.
JC’s mouth gaped. John’s sons? And wait “Demon?”
“We’re here because we found your name in our Dad’s journal. Take a look.” Sam pulled the journal out from his messenger bag and handed it to JC.
JC began looking through the journal but found he needed to sit and headed for the nearest chair. Sam came over and turned to the page with JC’s name on it. JC stared in shock.
“That’s my old number. The one I had when I met John. I left it for him even though I knew he’d never call.” JC looked up. “You’re really his sons. So how is he?”
“Dead.” Dean said abruptly.
“Dean.” Sam admonished.
“He was a good man.” JC said quietly.
“Yeah.” Dean muttered turning away. He wasn’t going to get all emotional with some stranger.
“We should figure out how to handle getting rid of the Demon.” Sam efficiently redirected the conversation to business.
“Uhm what do you need to do?” JC asked.
“Exorcism.” Dean answered.
PART 6
Justin wasn’t in his room and nobody had seen him. Finally when they called Howie he realized that they hadn’t checked his, Chris, and Nick’s room. It would make no sense for Justin to be there, unless you knew. Howie didn’t know what was going on but he was getting there now. He saw Chris realize something was wrong and jerked his head to indicate he should come. They got there in time to see JC race into the room behind two men in suits while holding a shot gun.
Sam, Dean, and JC burst into the room. JC didn’t know if he could do this. They didn’t have a better plan and he knew it was only rock salt, but he would be shooting one of his closest friends. He couldn’t think about the scene on the bed either. He just prayed Sam and Dean could do this and not need him.
Dean was the designated distraction. He was clearly no match for the demon. He just had to keep it distracted long enough for Sam to do his thing. He was pretty sure this might put him in the hospital.
Sam kept his voice steady clear and soft, loud enough to mean it but hoping not to be noticed.
Howie and Chris stared in shock. If that guy in a suit hadn’t been getting his ass kicked by a very naked Timberlake they both would have been at Nick’s side already. The whole thing was unreal. They’d actually tried to cross the room but JC had gestured them back with the shot gun. Then Timberlake finally knocked the man he was fighting down. He leapt to the other suit and grabbed the book from his hands, knocking him back against the wall. The second suit kept speaking whatever language that was and in the next second something came pouring out of Timberlake's mouth.
Suddenly it was all over. Nick was naked, still on bed too afraid to move with no idea of what had just happened. Justin was in the corner head on his knees rocking and sobbing.
“What the hell is going on?” Howie’s voice was loud and angry. Chris finally moved running across the room to Nick.
“It’s kind of a long story.” Dean answered.
Howie started forward as JC finally let go of the shotgun. It dropped to the floor as he turned to look at Howie behind him.
“I am going to take care of Justin. You take care of Nick. I don’t want one word to Justin from either of you. One of the boys can explain it to you. Someone is going to have to help me with Justin.” JC whirled to face the Winchesters. “Will one of you find a robe?” He didn’t wait for an answer as he head towards Justin.
PART 7
Howie and Chris lay on either side of Nick cocooning him in the middle. Howie hated to leave but Nick was finally asleep and they need answers. They both knew Chris wouldn’t be able to pay attention enough so Howie went.
Howie was pretty sure he was in shock as he made his way back to the room. Knowing Justin was as much a victim as Nick, that he was perhaps worse off turned his reality on its head. He had no idea how Nick would take it. Worse, JC was right. They had to tell the other guys. He only felt slightly bad that the Winchesters were playing messenger. He had Nick to worry about- and Chris. He’d already agreed to go with the Winchesters to explain everything. There was no way Nick or Justin could be there and he wasn’t leaving Nick alone. JC had said upfront that he wasn’t leaving Justin. It was just one more burden to bear.
PART 8
Nick and Chris lay curled around each other on the bed. Once again Chris was rubbing Nick’s scar. It was actually rather soothing. Nick knew that Chris didn’t fully understand why but that was okay. To Chris the scar was a reminder of what had been done to Nick. For Nick the scar was a reminder of how much he’d overcome everything. He didn’t feel the carved heart with the initials JT but the mass of lines he had put there himself, erasing the unwanted claim.
“I think we should give it to him when he gets back from the meeting.” Nick spoke softly. He’d already had two panic attacks over the fact that everyone was going to know. He was trying to keep himself from thinking about that. “The tour will have been canceled by dinner time.”
“We can do that.” Chris agreed. “It’s not finished though.”
“I know. I don’t care.” Nick shifted closer. “I just want to lie here and not think about everything. It will have to be good enough as is.”
“Okay.” Chris leaned and kissed Nick softly, once. “Sleep. You need it. I’ll wake you if you have a nightmare.”
“Thanks.” Nick whispered, closing his yes. Chris just held on tight.
PART 9
Howie was exhausted. It was late. The tour had been canceled. The boybanders had talked with the Winchesters for hours. No one was going to be okay for a long time. He just wanted to see that Nick and Chris were alright and then go to sleep. He felt like he could truly rest for the first time in a long time.
He walked into the room to see Nick and Chris curled around one another talking softly.
“You both alright?” Howie asked.
“Yes” Chris answered softly, shifting to sit and let Nick up.
Howie turned to his bag to find his tooth brush. He was surprised when he turned back to see Nick standing there holding something out.
“It’s only wrapped in a magazine page. It’s the best we could do.” Nick explained. “Take it. Go somewhere, listen, and then comeback.” Nick shook the proffered gift. Chris said nothing. He felt like a bit of a dork.
Howie took the package and stared for a moment.
“Go. Listen. Come back.” Nick ushered Howie to the door. “It’s from both of us.” Nick hollered out into the hall before shutting the door.
Nick turned to Chris looking deflated.
“He will come back?” Nick asked soft and unsure. Chris was across the room in moments, pulling the younger man into his arms.
“He’ll be back. No matter what he thinks he’ll come back if only to tell us were he’s sleeping. He’s your friend, the best kind of friend any one could ask for. That’s not going to change.” Chris spoke fiercely. “Come on, lets got to bed. He’ll wake us up.”
PART 10
Howie stared at the track listing.
Here (In Your Arms) -Hellogoodbye
Now and Forever -Richard Marx
All For Love -Bryan Adams, Rod Stewart, Sting
Beautiful in My Eyes -Joshua Kadison
Time in a Bottle - Jim Croce
I Know How the River Feels -Diamond Rio
Bless the Broken Road -Rascal Flatts
Here and Now -Luther Vandross
He’d been asked to listen to so he put the cd on and leaned back in the chair closing his eyes. He was grateful that AJ had allowed him the use of his room and laptop.
Howie only made it half way through the third song before he was up and moving, the cd left playing. He could listen to the rest of the cd tomorrow or next week. He didn’t need to hear the rest of it.
Howie entered their room and flipped on the light to find Nick and Chris asleep. He didn’t bother waking them, just slipped into bed beside Nick cocooning him in the middle. They would be there in the morning.
EPILOGUE
The Winchester boys lay wrapped around one another. Sam reached up to run his fingers over Dean’s face. He knew it bugged Dean, but for a while he’d thought it was face he might never see again. Being blind had terrified Sam. Although they’d found a counter spell and everything had worked out Sam hadn’t quite shaken the fear yet.
“Do you think Dad would have understood?” Sam asked. “I know Bobby doesn’t get it but he believes in it ever since Missouri explained it to him. It’s just... it’s Dad.” Sam trailed off.
Dean thought about it. Sam wouldn’t have asked unless it was important to him. It was a question Dean tried not to think about. He was afraid the only answer he’d find would hurt. Then he remembered the story JC had told them and he knew. Dean pulled his bother in close and kissed him once before answering.
“He was a good man.”