Secret Love Affair (8/?)
Title: Secret Love Affair (8/?)
Author: pakdemxet
Genre: Romance, slight angst
Pairing: Junhyung/Hyunseung (JunSeung), Dooseung
Rating: PG - 13
Disclaimer: I own the plot :D
Summary: Hyunseung's got everything he always wanted. Money, fame, the perfect guy, but why isn't he happy?
A/N: GUESS WHO’S BACK? BACK AGAIN. Lol. Hi guuuuys~ ! *waves excitedly* I don’t know if you still remember this fic xD And sorry it took so long to update this, I’ve been having problem with motivation and shit. Hahaha xD Anyway, this is in honor of B2ST’s COMEBACK. And so I was like, I should make my comeback too. xD Hope you guys like this update :3 xoxo <3
They said that broken hearts heal over time, but it has already been 1 month since the last time Hyunseung last saw Junhyung and it still hurts, like a piece of him keeps on tearing every time he thinks about Junhyung.
Like there was a missing part of him that only Junhyung can fill.
But he has been completely loyal to Doojoon, and he knows that Doojoon is happy about that. He sees the happiness radiating off of Doojoon every time he is near him, the way Doojoon just lights up when he’s beside him.
It’s overwhelming.
It chokes him up inside that he is the reason for Doojoon’s happiness and sadness at the same time. It’s suffocating to know that Hyunseung is everything to Doojoon.
And Hyunseung should be happy that someone loves him as much as Doojoon does. That Doojoon has always been there for him. And that Doojoon should be the one he loves, the one he thinks of before he sleeps and after he wakes up, the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with.
Besides, Doojoon was supposed to be his reassurance for a bright future, right?
***********
“So,” Doojoon paused and sat beside Hyunseung on the floor while the latter arranged the contents of the cabinet beside their bed, “I’ll be going to Italy later.”
Hyunseung stopped stacking papers and looked at the older boy, “For how long?”
Doojoon shrugged and then nuzzled against Hyunseung’s neck, “A week? More than a week? I was invited to an important convention and I couldn’t say no.”
“Oh, okay,” Hyunseung nodded, “What about the wedding? The arrangements?”
“You’ll do fine, babe.” Doojoon mumbled against the doe eyed boy’s neck, “Just… don’t leave me at the altar.”
And the aura suddenly got heavy and Hyunseung has to swallow the lump in his throat, “O-of course I won’t.”
“Okay,” Doojoon kissed the younger man’s cheek and stood up, content with Hyunseung’s answer, “I’ll pack my stuffs then.”
When Doojoon left, Hyunseung could feel his heart beat faster and his breathing shallower as tears sprang up his eyes.
And everything just turned black.
***********
“Hi.”
“Let’s play.”
“Why are you so pretty?”
“You’re mine, right? Forever?”
“I’ll be yours too, y’know.”
“I promise to find you and marry you”
“But you have to promise to marry me too.”
“Promise me, hyung.”
A flurry of dirt, playground, a boy…
…and a familiar looking toy ring.
“Hyung.”
“Hyunseung!”
“What?!” Hyunseung startled, sitting up and taking a deep breath.
“Are you alright?” Doojoon asked, concern written all over his face, “You just passed out and kept squirming.”
“I-“ Hyunseung shook his head to clear the thoughts bombarding mind, “I’m fine, Doo.”
“I don’t have to leave, you know. I don’t want to leave you like this,” Doojoon said and it was then that Hyunseung noticed the bags behind the older boy.
Hyunseung waved him off, “I’ll be fine, Doo, just stressed out what with the wedding and all.”
Doojoon wrapped his arms around Hyunseung and kissed his temple, “We still have two months before the wedding, babe. You shouldn’t let that pressure you.”
“I know and I’m okay, Doo. Go, shoo, I still have to arrange all this stuff.” Hyunseung said jokingly pointing at the stack of paper scattered on the floor.
“Okay,” Doojoon nodded and gave Hyunseung a peck on the lips before standing up once again, “I love you.”
Hyunseung can’t help the tightening around his chest and croaked out a soft, “Love you too, Doo.”
And as Doojoon left the room, Hyunseung suddenly felt the urge to search the bottom of his things in search of Junhyung’s toy ring.
He needs to see Junhyung. He has to see Junhyung.
Even if it’ll leave him broken all over again.
***********
“How are you, hyung?” Dongwoon asked as he sat beside the Doojoon on the plane to Italy.
“I’m better than fine, Woonie.” Doojoon said, a wide smile spreading on his face as he remembered Hyunseung’s last words before he left. “Just perfect,”
“Good,” Dongwoon nodded and then gulped, “H-has - Is - “
“Spit it out, Woon. Stuttering is not good on you.” Doojoon teased as Dongwoon glared.
“Has Hyunseung seen Jun-something after you proposed to him?”
“As far as I know, the last time he saw that bastard was the time he gave the invitation. After that, I dunno.” Doojoon shrugged, not really giving a shit about Junhyung.
“Oh.” Dongwoon said and cautiously asked, “Is it really a good idea to - uh - leave Hyunseung all alone, now?
Doojoon’s smile went wider because Hyunseung loves him, “I trust him.”
***********
Hyunseung did not know what to expect when he knocked on Junhyung’s door.
So he was surprised - understatement of the century - to find the blond boy Junhyung held hands with the last time he saw them, answer the door and glared at him.
“What do you want?” The blond boy hissed.
“I- is Junhyung in?” Hyunseung asked softly, blinking back the tears threatening to fall. He doesn’t deserve to be hurt that Junhyung has someone else now. He should be happy for the both of them, he should -
The blond boy sighed and opened the door wider to let Hyunseung enter. The blond boy led Hyunseung to a couch and left him to look for Junhyung.
This was a bad idea; Hyunseung buried his head in his hand because he honestly did not know what he was doing here. He just needed to see Junhyung and before he can even really think about it, he was already knocking on their door.
“What are you doing here, Hyunseung?” Junhyung asked, startling Hyunseung from his thoughts.
“I - “ Hyunseung could not continue as he took in Junhyung who sat beside him, the younger boy looked even better than the last time, he was so fucking perfect that Hyunseung could feel his heart falling in love even deeper and harder and he was suddenly filled with so much want. He wants something he does not deserve to have.
Suddenly the blond boy returned and gave Junhyung a peck on the cheek and reality came crashing down on Hyunseung that he had a hard time breathing.
“I gotta go, Hyung. Umma will be so pissed if I keep on staying here.” The blond boy said, hugging Junhyung and glared at Hyunseung before he left.
“H-hyung? He called you hyung.” Hyunseung was so confused, and he did not know whether to be happy and hope or to just put a wall around his heart.
“Well, yeah. I am older than him.” Junhyung explained, "And we're cousins anyway."
Hyunseung nodded, he couldn’t speak, and he doesn’t know what to say even if he could.
Looking at the older boy, Junhyung sighed frustratingly, “What are you doing here, Hyunseung?”
“I-I needed to see you.” Hyunseung answered honestly.
“For what?”
“I j-just had to, Jun. I still lo-“
“Please,” Junhyung’s voiced croaked, “Please don’t say it.”
Hyunseung nodded looking at everywhere but Junhyung, because he knows he’ll end up blurting his love for the younger boy, he’ll end up reaching out to the younger boy and hold him, kiss him, make love to him and to never let him go.
There was silence for a couple of minutes before Junhyung cleared his throat and said “I don’t know why you’re here, Hyunseung. But I wish you didn’t come here - “
“I know.” Hyunseung said softly, he wished he didn’t come here too, knowing it’ll just crack both their hearts into even more tiny pieces. “I just want to see you, Jun. I want you.”
“You can’t have both of us, Hyunseung. You - “Junhyung sounded so broken and there were tears in his eyes, “-can’t.”
“Why not, Jun? You were alright with it before!” Hyunseung pleaded, he was so fucking desperate, “It’ll be like before, Jun. No one else will know, right? Our secret love affair, remember?”
“That was before!” Junhyung growled, hands slamming on the table in front of them, eyes full of tears trained at his hands “That was before when I thought I could have you all to myself, when I thought you’d be mine! When I hoped that you’d choose me!”
Hyunseung cried softly as he stared at the younger boy who was heaving, shoulder’s shaking. He has never seen anything as heartbreaking as this. He has never felt his own heart break like this.
“I loved you so fucking much, Hyunseung. I gave you everything I had, everything I have” Junhyung sobbed into his hands, “I-I still fucking do and I know I’ll n-never love anyone else as much as I love you.”
“I love you too, Jun. So fucking much,” Hyunseung whispered, ignoring the tears running down his cheeks.
Junhyung finally looked at him, and Hyunseung had to bite the whimper that’s about to escape at the pain and hurt he saw on the younger boy’s face.
“But you chose him.” Junhyung said smiling brokenly, looking back at his hands which are red from the force of the slam. “And I - I can’t love you and not have all of you, Hyunseung.”
“B-but, Jun - “
“Please leave, Hyunseung.” Junhyung said, turning his back on Hyunseung. “I’ll see you at your wedding.”
And Hyunseung left, because right now? He doesn’t know how to pick up the pieces of his already shattered heart and put them back together. He can’t. He doesn’t want to.
He’s already dead inside, anyway.
A/N2: I know, so much feels. :P By the way, I don’t know when I’ll update next, please be patient with me. Hihi. I AM SORRY IF THERE ARE ANY MISTAKES, I WILL PROOFREAD IT LATER. :D
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Comments, compliments, votes are love <33
Author: pakdemxet
Genre: Romance, slight angst
Pairing: Junhyung/Hyunseung (JunSeung), Dooseung
Rating: PG - 13
Disclaimer: I own the plot :D
Summary: Hyunseung's got everything he always wanted. Money, fame, the perfect guy, but why isn't he happy?
A/N: GUESS WHO’S BACK? BACK AGAIN. Lol. Hi guuuuys~ ! *waves excitedly* I don’t know if you still remember this fic xD And sorry it took so long to update this, I’ve been having problem with motivation and shit. Hahaha xD Anyway, this is in honor of B2ST’s COMEBACK. And so I was like, I should make my comeback too. xD Hope you guys like this update :3 xoxo <3
They said that broken hearts heal over time, but it has already been 1 month since the last time Hyunseung last saw Junhyung and it still hurts, like a piece of him keeps on tearing every time he thinks about Junhyung.
Like there was a missing part of him that only Junhyung can fill.
But he has been completely loyal to Doojoon, and he knows that Doojoon is happy about that. He sees the happiness radiating off of Doojoon every time he is near him, the way Doojoon just lights up when he’s beside him.
It’s overwhelming.
It chokes him up inside that he is the reason for Doojoon’s happiness and sadness at the same time. It’s suffocating to know that Hyunseung is everything to Doojoon.
And Hyunseung should be happy that someone loves him as much as Doojoon does. That Doojoon has always been there for him. And that Doojoon should be the one he loves, the one he thinks of before he sleeps and after he wakes up, the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with.
Besides, Doojoon was supposed to be his reassurance for a bright future, right?
***********
“So,” Doojoon paused and sat beside Hyunseung on the floor while the latter arranged the contents of the cabinet beside their bed, “I’ll be going to Italy later.”
Hyunseung stopped stacking papers and looked at the older boy, “For how long?”
Doojoon shrugged and then nuzzled against Hyunseung’s neck, “A week? More than a week? I was invited to an important convention and I couldn’t say no.”
“Oh, okay,” Hyunseung nodded, “What about the wedding? The arrangements?”
“You’ll do fine, babe.” Doojoon mumbled against the doe eyed boy’s neck, “Just… don’t leave me at the altar.”
And the aura suddenly got heavy and Hyunseung has to swallow the lump in his throat, “O-of course I won’t.”
“Okay,” Doojoon kissed the younger man’s cheek and stood up, content with Hyunseung’s answer, “I’ll pack my stuffs then.”
When Doojoon left, Hyunseung could feel his heart beat faster and his breathing shallower as tears sprang up his eyes.
And everything just turned black.
***********
“Hi.”
“Let’s play.”
“Why are you so pretty?”
“You’re mine, right? Forever?”
“I’ll be yours too, y’know.”
“I promise to find you and marry you”
“But you have to promise to marry me too.”
“Promise me, hyung.”
A flurry of dirt, playground, a boy…
…and a familiar looking toy ring.
“Hyung.”
“Hyunseung!”
“What?!” Hyunseung startled, sitting up and taking a deep breath.
“Are you alright?” Doojoon asked, concern written all over his face, “You just passed out and kept squirming.”
“I-“ Hyunseung shook his head to clear the thoughts bombarding mind, “I’m fine, Doo.”
“I don’t have to leave, you know. I don’t want to leave you like this,” Doojoon said and it was then that Hyunseung noticed the bags behind the older boy.
Hyunseung waved him off, “I’ll be fine, Doo, just stressed out what with the wedding and all.”
Doojoon wrapped his arms around Hyunseung and kissed his temple, “We still have two months before the wedding, babe. You shouldn’t let that pressure you.”
“I know and I’m okay, Doo. Go, shoo, I still have to arrange all this stuff.” Hyunseung said jokingly pointing at the stack of paper scattered on the floor.
“Okay,” Doojoon nodded and gave Hyunseung a peck on the lips before standing up once again, “I love you.”
Hyunseung can’t help the tightening around his chest and croaked out a soft, “Love you too, Doo.”
And as Doojoon left the room, Hyunseung suddenly felt the urge to search the bottom of his things in search of Junhyung’s toy ring.
He needs to see Junhyung. He has to see Junhyung.
Even if it’ll leave him broken all over again.
***********
“How are you, hyung?” Dongwoon asked as he sat beside the Doojoon on the plane to Italy.
“I’m better than fine, Woonie.” Doojoon said, a wide smile spreading on his face as he remembered Hyunseung’s last words before he left. “Just perfect,”
“Good,” Dongwoon nodded and then gulped, “H-has - Is - “
“Spit it out, Woon. Stuttering is not good on you.” Doojoon teased as Dongwoon glared.
“Has Hyunseung seen Jun-something after you proposed to him?”
“As far as I know, the last time he saw that bastard was the time he gave the invitation. After that, I dunno.” Doojoon shrugged, not really giving a shit about Junhyung.
“Oh.” Dongwoon said and cautiously asked, “Is it really a good idea to - uh - leave Hyunseung all alone, now?
Doojoon’s smile went wider because Hyunseung loves him, “I trust him.”
***********
Hyunseung did not know what to expect when he knocked on Junhyung’s door.
So he was surprised - understatement of the century - to find the blond boy Junhyung held hands with the last time he saw them, answer the door and glared at him.
“What do you want?” The blond boy hissed.
“I- is Junhyung in?” Hyunseung asked softly, blinking back the tears threatening to fall. He doesn’t deserve to be hurt that Junhyung has someone else now. He should be happy for the both of them, he should -
The blond boy sighed and opened the door wider to let Hyunseung enter. The blond boy led Hyunseung to a couch and left him to look for Junhyung.
This was a bad idea; Hyunseung buried his head in his hand because he honestly did not know what he was doing here. He just needed to see Junhyung and before he can even really think about it, he was already knocking on their door.
“What are you doing here, Hyunseung?” Junhyung asked, startling Hyunseung from his thoughts.
“I - “ Hyunseung could not continue as he took in Junhyung who sat beside him, the younger boy looked even better than the last time, he was so fucking perfect that Hyunseung could feel his heart falling in love even deeper and harder and he was suddenly filled with so much want. He wants something he does not deserve to have.
Suddenly the blond boy returned and gave Junhyung a peck on the cheek and reality came crashing down on Hyunseung that he had a hard time breathing.
“I gotta go, Hyung. Umma will be so pissed if I keep on staying here.” The blond boy said, hugging Junhyung and glared at Hyunseung before he left.
“H-hyung? He called you hyung.” Hyunseung was so confused, and he did not know whether to be happy and hope or to just put a wall around his heart.
“Well, yeah. I am older than him.” Junhyung explained, "And we're cousins anyway."
Hyunseung nodded, he couldn’t speak, and he doesn’t know what to say even if he could.
Looking at the older boy, Junhyung sighed frustratingly, “What are you doing here, Hyunseung?”
“I-I needed to see you.” Hyunseung answered honestly.
“For what?”
“I j-just had to, Jun. I still lo-“
“Please,” Junhyung’s voiced croaked, “Please don’t say it.”
Hyunseung nodded looking at everywhere but Junhyung, because he knows he’ll end up blurting his love for the younger boy, he’ll end up reaching out to the younger boy and hold him, kiss him, make love to him and to never let him go.
There was silence for a couple of minutes before Junhyung cleared his throat and said “I don’t know why you’re here, Hyunseung. But I wish you didn’t come here - “
“I know.” Hyunseung said softly, he wished he didn’t come here too, knowing it’ll just crack both their hearts into even more tiny pieces. “I just want to see you, Jun. I want you.”
“You can’t have both of us, Hyunseung. You - “Junhyung sounded so broken and there were tears in his eyes, “-can’t.”
“Why not, Jun? You were alright with it before!” Hyunseung pleaded, he was so fucking desperate, “It’ll be like before, Jun. No one else will know, right? Our secret love affair, remember?”
“That was before!” Junhyung growled, hands slamming on the table in front of them, eyes full of tears trained at his hands “That was before when I thought I could have you all to myself, when I thought you’d be mine! When I hoped that you’d choose me!”
Hyunseung cried softly as he stared at the younger boy who was heaving, shoulder’s shaking. He has never seen anything as heartbreaking as this. He has never felt his own heart break like this.
“I loved you so fucking much, Hyunseung. I gave you everything I had, everything I have” Junhyung sobbed into his hands, “I-I still fucking do and I know I’ll n-never love anyone else as much as I love you.”
“I love you too, Jun. So fucking much,” Hyunseung whispered, ignoring the tears running down his cheeks.
Junhyung finally looked at him, and Hyunseung had to bite the whimper that’s about to escape at the pain and hurt he saw on the younger boy’s face.
“But you chose him.” Junhyung said smiling brokenly, looking back at his hands which are red from the force of the slam. “And I - I can’t love you and not have all of you, Hyunseung.”
“B-but, Jun - “
“Please leave, Hyunseung.” Junhyung said, turning his back on Hyunseung. “I’ll see you at your wedding.”
And Hyunseung left, because right now? He doesn’t know how to pick up the pieces of his already shattered heart and put them back together. He can’t. He doesn’t want to.
He’s already dead inside, anyway.
A/N2: I know, so much feels. :P By the way, I don’t know when I’ll update next, please be patient with me. Hihi. I AM SORRY IF THERE ARE ANY MISTAKES, I WILL PROOFREAD IT LATER. :D
Follow me:
Comments, compliments, votes are love <33