REVISIONS The mods feel that though your app is strong, some adjustments need to be made. Please address the following points required for clarification: ● Firstly, we need to see a clear canon point chosen for Hohenheim.
● Secondly, while you have demonstrated a wonderful understanding of Hohenheim's personality due to the in game rule of not allowing for duplicates/doubles the moderators need to see a clear distinction from his 2003 counterpart and his Manga/Brotherhood. That being said, all sections from his 2003 self should be removed if you wish to apply for Hohenheim from the original series.
● The moderators would also like to see an explanation of what you feel Hohenheim would teach during his stay in Hogwarts.
● Lastly, while we understand Hohenheim's abilities are great, any character should always have a few flaws and short comings. We'd like to see you expand on that section to include what abilities and magic in Hogwarts might be difficult for him to master and achieve at.
Please reply with your revisions as a comment
( ... )
Requested Revisions.lightofxerxesDecember 12 2011, 22:49:07 UTC
The general application has been updated with the following revisions, namely the "Abilities and Powers" section along with an detailed canon point and brief explanation of his assumed teaching role in Hogwarts.
WELCOME TO HOGWARTS! You have been sorted into RAVENCLAW!
Hohenheim has also been approved to become the new professor Alchemy, baring an upcoming plot after the holiday season is over. More details to come in the following weeks.
Please follow THESE instructions. Feel free to introduce yourself on the OOC community before hopping into the game!
Comments 3
REVISIONS
The mods feel that though your app is strong, some adjustments need to be made. Please address the following points required for clarification:
● Firstly, we need to see a clear canon point chosen for Hohenheim.
● Secondly, while you have demonstrated a wonderful understanding of Hohenheim's personality due to the in game rule of not allowing for duplicates/doubles the moderators need to see a clear distinction from his 2003 counterpart and his Manga/Brotherhood. That being said, all sections from his 2003 self should be removed if you wish to apply for Hohenheim from the original series.
● The moderators would also like to see an explanation of what you feel Hohenheim would teach during his stay in Hogwarts.
● Lastly, while we understand Hohenheim's abilities are great, any character should always have a few flaws and short comings. We'd like to see you expand on that section to include what abilities and magic in Hogwarts might be difficult for him to master and achieve at.
Please reply with your revisions as a comment ( ... )
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WELCOME TO HOGWARTS!
You have been sorted into RAVENCLAW!
Hohenheim has also been approved to become the new professor Alchemy, baring an upcoming plot after the holiday season is over. More details to come in the following weeks.
Please follow THESE instructions.
Feel free to introduce yourself on the OOC community before hopping into the game!
Reply
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