We're movin', we're gettin' out, We're movin', without a doubt!

[lightningflash]

Haven’t updated in WEEKS. Sorry guys, I know you anxiously await with bated breath, right? Packing up my life’s accumulation trumps LJ updates of inanity. UNTIL NOW, that is, heh.

Minor updates:
I move tomorrow! Actually, I’ve already got a lot of the petite caca moved over, like my 350 books. I’m super tired and a little sore in the

Comments

The analyst in me asks

[scearley]

Is the bigger problem that your mother has this opinion, or that she let you know what it is?

Re: The analyst in me asks

[lightningflash]

Good question, Freud

So many ways to follow-up....maybe I should change careers.

[scearley]

I wrote this a couple of times and the sentences became too complex to write simply.

Bullet point fashion:

• You don't want your mother's opinion to affect your relationship. Presumably you mean that both in the positive sense as well as the negative. You don't want her positive feelings of your relationship to keep you in one longer than necessary any more than you want her negative ones to cause you to bail on one too early.
  
• If your mother doesn't voice her opinion, do you carry on as if she approves of what you are doing? Does this then, to you, mean her silence is a default positive opinion? And if that is the case, are you are content with her silence being a default positive opinion?
  
• Everyone is affected by an opinion, no matter what. Imagine you were in a hall full of full-blown schizophrenics - people who have completely lot touch with their ability to judge rationally. You walk by one and they say, sarcastically, "Hey, nice pants." Part of you, a small part, feels self-conscious. Even though you know this person

Re: So many ways to follow-up....maybe I should change careers.

[lightningflash]

The mother-daughter dynamic is INTENSE, dude. I have a pretty good relationship with my mom, really. She's generous, almost to a fault, and cares very much. Sometimes I still want to shake her silly, though.

I'll have to think about the rest. You've given me much more ways to think about this other than "OMG, my mom hates my boyfriend and does that mean we'll never work oooooooout!" obssession that I was doing before.

[lightningspark]

I really don’t expect anyone, Shawn or otherwise, to WANT to marry me.

BUT... BUT... OUR WEDDING!

-cry-

you sound like me, otherwise. i don't feel like i'll ever be married, because i'm a handful and have the attention span of a snow pea.

this is fine with me. but it bugs the shit out of some other people.

[lightningflash]

Haha, I will ALWAYS marry YOU! Our PagJewLes wedding will be AWESOME.

I know that I do WANT to get married, I just don't expect it, you know? It's like, I'd LOVE to win the lottery, but I don't EXPECT my one-in-5million odds to happen even when I play the game. Ya know? It's cynical, but I'm that way about these things (for me, not for other people).

[scearley]

You should play the lottery today.

[lightningflash]

Haha, I saw your post on that. :D Maybe I should! I have as much chance of winning the lottery as I do getting mar... oh. :P

If it makes you happy, it can't be that baaaaaad...

[fieria]

Instructions for getting over your mother's advice

1. Think about all the miserable married people.
2. Think about all the miserable single people.
3. Think about how much you like spending time with Shawn.
4. Laugh with relief because you are lucky to find someone who supports you, cares for you, and for whom you don't have to wash the skid marks out of his underwear. They don't exist, as far as you know.

I do have one question, though. You gave Shawn's reasons for not saying those three little words. What are yours?

(What I'm not saying by asking that: that you HAVE to say them or your feelings for him are invalid. I'm just curious, since I'm an emotional rusher and sometimes have to physically control myself from blurting out "I Love You.")

Re: If it makes you happy, it can't be that baaaaaad...

[lightningflash]

I like the way you think :)

My reasons are... not that different from his, actually. If you go back about 5 1/2 years in this journal, there's a whole lotta emo about the jackhat who broke my heart. It took me a good 3 years getting over a guy that I dated for 3 days shy of ONE year, and when he left me, for the lamest of reasons, I lost a lot of trust in myself. To be as vulnerable as "i love you" implies, to me, requires a trust in humanity that I don't have. It's that I'm incapable of loving, or that Shawn isn't worth it, it's like this roadblock in my head that I can't seem to get around. We BOTH have had trust shattered by our exes, and we are very, very cautious with each other in that regard. In some ways, we are exactly suited for each other, heh :P

[thewenchywiccan]

*hugs* ♥ Hi busy lady! :D I hope your move goes very smoothly, and all of your other activities as well. Once you're settled in be sure to email me (luna_hawkins@yahoo.com) your new snail mail addy as I'm going to get those items out to you soon. :) I haven't forgotten! Hehehehe

[lightningflash]

Will do! And no worries about not sending it - it was just a few less items to move! ;D

[thewenchywiccan]

Hehe, I understand. Before Rachael moved, she practically cried at the thought of something else to pack, hehe. I'll be waiting for your new addy whenever you have a second - luna_hawkins@yahoo.com if you don't have my email to send it to. *hugs*