(Untitled)

[lightningbaron6]

Any who thinks that Zechs Merquise has an active and engaging life outside of work would find themselves sorely mistaken, if informed of the truth. They're also sorely mistaken if they think that he has much of a life outside of work, period. But workaholic though he may be, Zechs can't find a reason to justify going into the office today, no

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[imperfecthero01]

He may have to act social now, though. Or at least in accordance to what... vagually... passes for a form of social with Heero Yuy and Zechs Merquise.

There's a knock from his door, a quick and efficient one. It's easy enough to recognize.

[imperfecthero01]

"Looking at the situation," Heero says slowly, "And the elements that he had in play, I think that it's quite possible that someone is trying to push me back into the game."

It all matched up, really. Get rid of the distractions, attack him in his safe spot. Make him as vulnerable as possible - and then give him no other choices.

"It was going to happen eventually," he admits. He's sitting a little stiffly, staring at his hands. "I couldn't run forever."

[lightningbaron6]

"It could easily add up to that," Zechs agrees. "I'm not certain what their purpose would be, but I can think of a number of people who'd rather have you on their side than against them, or as a neutral party. Most of them don't have any connections outside of Preventer, though, so they're probably not deserving of too much time unless the others turn up nothing."

Zechs' problem this time around is not that people want to get him back into the game, but rather that it's difficult for him to get out of it in the first place. After Libra, after his recovery, he'd gotten dragged back to help take care of Mariemaia, even if it was by his own conscience -- she was Treize's daughter, and that meant that he had a certain amount of responsibility to make sure that she not only survived, but wasn't being manipulated anymore. That had been before he knew the man was still alive, and it had been the least that he could do -- he felt obligated, given his relationship to her father. Besides, he'd wanted her to know that the things she had been

[imperfecthero01]

"I'm not sure," Heero admits. "The only two options I can think of is to defend myself thoroughly, or go after them - and I'd rather not be that offensive."

Not anymore. The idea of it makes him tired; tired in a way he hasn't really felt before, tired in a way that's right down to his bones. It's just not something he can Do anymore, despite any of his training.

Things change, sometimes. This just happened to change at the exact wrong moment.

[lightningbaron6]

"Then I guess the question becomes less about going after them and more about how you propose to defend yourself. There's a price for either option."

It's not a question that has an easy answer. In a situation like this, defense has the ability to become as offensive as going after the root of the problem in the beginning. It becomes more difficult when one doesn't know who is behind things, or when they'll try again.

[imperfecthero01]

"I think I can find ways to protect myself," Heero says. "There's ways to find out who they are, even if I'm not attacking them. If you know your enemy, it's easier."

That wasn't really the problem, was it? It was more the allocation of resources.

"The question may be whether or not I can excuse doing what I wish to do, and if it will harm what I need to do."

[lightningbaron6]

"Keep your friends close, your enemies closer." Zechs nods and takes a sip of his tea. Heero's last statement definitely has his interest.

"I can guess what you need to do. But what is it that you wish to do?"

[imperfecthero01]

"I'm tired," Heero states. It's something he hasn't been able to forget for days, but saying it out loud confirms it, and he's not sure he likes that. "I don't want to live my life like this anymore."

He isn't sure what he wants to do - all he knows is that most of it is all wrong. That's a hard feeling to shake off.

"I want to see if it's possible to be something else."

[lightningbaron6]

It's a feeling Zechs knows all too well.

"It's always possible, but for some it's always going to be harder than for others. But you know that, I'm sure, as do I. You're stubborn enough to stick with it until you succeed, if it's something that you really want. Does all this mean that you've made the final decision of taking permanent leave to try?"

He suspects that somewhere in his mind, Heero may have already made the decision, before requesting any advice or opinion.

[imperfecthero01]

"I'm not sure if I can excuse it," Heero says, with a shrug. "It may not be a practical choice of events."

[lightningbaron6]

"Would you be able to work efficiently, if you knew that doing so would prevent you from protecting Duo?"

Well, protecting him as much as Heero would like to, anyway.

"What's practical for one person isn't necessarily what's practical for the collective. And sometimes, what's practical for the collective really isn't all that important in comparison to what's practical for the one."

[imperfecthero01]

Being a Preventer allows me certain connections," Heero says. "If I seperate myself, that removes a way I can protect us."

At this point, he doesn't honestly care what's good for the Preventers. He has the well being of two people in mind at all times, and that was his new standard.

[lightningbaron6]

"Given your knowledge and history, something could probably be arranged if strings got pulled in the right places. But you're right, it's not going to be the way things are right now. Either way, you're going to be sacrificing more or less the same thing. If you stay, you keep Preventer protection but can't watch out for Duo like you want. If you leave, then the opposite is true."

Zechs finishes his tea and sets the mug down on the coffee table. It's not really a situation that he can advocate for on either side, because both sacrifice something important and beneficial.

"Is it more important for you to protect him yourself, or for Preventer to protect you both but leave you unable to attend to the matter personally?"

[imperfecthero01]

"Exactly," Heero says. It's a tough question, of course - and it was hard not to get stuck on it. But it was possible that nobody could give him advice; he just had to make a decision, and make it work until the end.

"Although I think if Duo heard me, he would kick me and remind me that he's capable of taking care of himself as well."

[lightningbaron6]

"He probably would, and he is," Zechs replies, "but if they're going to use him to get to you..." He shakes his head. "I can't tell you what to do, I can only say what I would do in your place. I'd rather attend to things personally. I trust my own abilities more than I do the protection that Preventer offers me."

Zechs knows he can't make up Heero's mind for him, nor would he want to. And while he's going to say what his own course of action would be, he also hopes that it won't come across as pressuring toward one side or the other.

"If it were Treize," he says carefully, "I personally wouldn't put my faith in chance or anyone else. I wouldn't feel comfortable if I couldn't be there if he needed me, and I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if anything happened because I was gone, or because I'd put too much trust in someone else.

"It comes down to who you trust more, Heero. Yourself and your own abilities, or Preventer and theirs. Unfortunately it's an either/or situation."

[imperfecthero01]

That was the simplest way to put it - and probably the best. In those terms, well... it all seems a lot more crystal-clear.

"Sorry," he says, slowly and carefully, "But I don't think I would trust the Preventers at all."