Insta-Gater Verse [100 Prompts, 1/100]
Title - Insta-Gater
Author - lightning_skies
Rating - FR13
Fandoms - BtVS/Stargate
Words - 1453
Prompts - twistedshorts #001 - Firsts, crossovers100 #001 - Beginnings
Disclaimer - I don’t own BtVS or Stargate
Warning - Post S7 BtVS, Season 7 Stargate
Summary - Watching TV was never more dangerous...
When Xander finally dragged himself into the common room at the New Watcher's Council Headquarters he was exhausted and covered in demon blood and various ichors. He flopped bonelessly on the couch next to Andrew. Willow had long since mojo'd the fabrics in the house to repel dirt and other unidentifiable biological substances, but he really didn't think he would have cared if the couch was made of delicate and expensive silk so long as he was able to sit down.
Andrew had been on house and baby Slayer sitting duties, otherwise called night watch (Xander claimed that it was because nothing ever happened and all you had to do was watch TV all night.) He had specifically called dibs on all the night watch shifts this week because there was a multi-day Stargate SG-1 marathon on, counting down every previously aired episode prior to the premiere of the new spinoff series Stargate: Atlantis. The whole Council knew about the 'epic event' because it was the only thing that Andrew had talked about for the past month. Giles had accidentally scheduled Dawn to night watch duties on the roster, until Andrew had threatened to stop feeding their small army of Slayers. Hungry Slayers were cranky Slayers and so the schedule had be rapidly reshuffled so that the demon summoning geek got his marathon.
"What episode are they on?" Xander grabbed some of Andrew's popcorn as he tuned in. He wasn't as much of a rabid fan as Andrew, having spent most of his high school career patrolling with Buffy rather than vegging out in front of the TV, but he had caught the show whenever he could. This was a good chance to earn back his suffering geek cred (with all the physical activity in his life he almost felt like a jock), catch up with his favorite group of intrepid explorers, and it didn't involve moving, which his screaming, bruised and tired muscles voted for whole heartedly.
"You just missed the opening credits on episode 100."
"Isn't that the one where they find out about a TV show based on them. The episode's almost entirely fan service."
"Yeah, it's awesome."
They shared a grin. "I have great timing then. The only episode I like better is 'Window of Opportunity'."
"Ah, the time loop, a classic sci-fi favorite story device."
Xander nodded sagely, "It's right up there with alter egos, amnesia and time traveling."
"Well, you missed 'Window...' and '1969.' They're airing the seasons in order and those were in season 4 and 2, we're up to 5."
"At least I managed to come early enough to miss season 6. I hated Jonas and didn't start watching the show again until Daniel came back."
The commercial break ended and Andrew shushed Xander and turned back to the TV. They sat in near silence for a few episodes, Andrew being totally enthralled in the action he must have seen a million times and Xander half asleep and more instinctually drawn to the movement on the screen than paying any attention to the content.
"How cool would it be to be able to go through the Stargate. To meet real life aliens." Andrew had his super-enthused fanboy expression on and was staring at the TV with wide, excited eyes. He looked like a half demented puppy.
Xander shrugged and winced at the muscle spasm it caused in his abused axe swinging arm, "We fight demons and the forces of hell, what's so great about aliens? They're just as slimy, horned, scaled and bent on our destruction."
Andrew turned his creepy sparkling eyes to the brunette and was nearly bouncing in his seat. "Y'know. The whole people beyond the stars thing, boldly going where no one's ever gone before."
Xander snorted, "Except, of course, for the native people who were there first. Or the camera crew who filmed you coming through the gate."
Andrew just glared at him, but quickly shook it off in his overwhelming fit of geek euphoria. "Well, I think aliens are a lot cooler than demons. I wish you really could meet SG-1, not just the actors and go on adventures through the stargate."
Xander turned to him in horror and Andrew realized exactly what he'd said and belatedly clapped a hand over his mouth. There was a rustle of cloth behind them and they both turned and looked over the back of the couch warily at the horned, bearded vengeance demon who'd appeared there. D'Hoffryn smiled evilly at the men cowering on the couch.
"I've been waiting for this for a long time. Hello again, Alexander." He nodded his head in a mockery of politeness.
"D'Hoffryn." Xander figured he was screwed but maybe being polite would lighten his sentence.
"I have always held you responsible for my dear Anyanka's mortality and death, Alexander. How appropriate that the one to see her last moments is the one to curse you. I really must thank you for this opportunity, young Andrew."
Andrew was a little startled with the acknowledgement and squeaked an unsteady, "No problem."
Xander just gave him an incredulous look and a smack upside the head.
"I'll fix it, I promise!" Andrew yelled as Xander and D'Hoffryn dissappeared with a flash of light and an echoing, "Granted."
Xander shut his eye against the blinding light and when he opened them again he was no longer seated on the couch with Andrew, instead he was sitting casually on a metal ramp looking up at the easily recognizable Stargate in the gateroom of a lifesized, fully-functional and fully staffed military base. -Well, crap. This is going to be fun.-
He turned around slowly, taking in the details of the room before his eyes wandered to the control room perched high on the wall in front of him. The control room occupied by a rather shocked looking and slightly bug-eyed, Master Sergeant Walter Harriman. He'd always liked the character of Walter, despite it being a bit part, and not really knowing what else to do, he gave a small, quirky smile and waved casually at the gaping technician.
Still slightly stunned from his entrance, Walter returned the gesture even as his other hand went for a big red panic button. Immediately, alarm klaxxons sounded and red emergency lights flashed as blast doors slammed down over the Control Room's large observation windows.
Xander had to throttle down his fight or flight instinct, knowing that neither would do him any good in this situation. He took up a casual looking, neutral position and sprawled comfortably where he was sitting, leaning back on the ramp on one elbow and stretching his legs out in front of him. The odd position temporarily eased the pain of his tense muscles.
In moments, the gateroom was flooded with soldiers, all aiming uncomfortably high caliber weapons at all of his vital bits. He growled sub-vocally in frustration. He'd had a very long day. He'd trained slayers, tracked, fought and gotten thrown around by demons, been cursed into a TV show by the Council's cook and now there were people pointing weapons at him. He knew nearly all there was to know about these people. He had all the advantage here and he was going to use it. The SGC didn't look kindly on intruders, but they wouldn't harm him unless he was obviously hostile. He was fine as long as he remained non-threatening. But non-threatening didn't mean not irritating and if he was going to have a crappy time of this, he was going to share the misery, and hopefully get some fun out of it. Inside his head a small, evil looking mini-Xander was rubbing his hands together in glee and cackling.
So, when the blast doors over the control room slid back and revealed General Hammond, flanked by SG-1, his inner sci-fi geek squeed a little inside upon seeing them, but he didn't soften his heart and still started off his planned festivities. He got up slowly, making no sudden moves and not going anywhere near his various weapons or pockets.
In heavily accented and unsure sounding English he adressed the gathered personelle, holding his hand up in a gesture universal to trekkies everwhere, he greeted SG-1 carefully. "Greetings, Tauri of Earth. I come in peace. Take me to your leader." At the looks on everyone's faces it took all of his self control and biting the inside of his cheek to prevent the hysterical laughter bubbling up in his chest. He managed to keep his face polite and interested, silently thanking Giles' many boring speeches for that particular ability.
Who knows, maybe this would be fun. He certainly wasn't holding his breath for Andrew, of all people, to rescue him.
Prompt Table
Author - lightning_skies
Rating - FR13
Fandoms - BtVS/Stargate
Words - 1453
Prompts - twistedshorts #001 - Firsts, crossovers100 #001 - Beginnings
Disclaimer - I don’t own BtVS or Stargate
Warning - Post S7 BtVS, Season 7 Stargate
Summary - Watching TV was never more dangerous...
When Xander finally dragged himself into the common room at the New Watcher's Council Headquarters he was exhausted and covered in demon blood and various ichors. He flopped bonelessly on the couch next to Andrew. Willow had long since mojo'd the fabrics in the house to repel dirt and other unidentifiable biological substances, but he really didn't think he would have cared if the couch was made of delicate and expensive silk so long as he was able to sit down.
Andrew had been on house and baby Slayer sitting duties, otherwise called night watch (Xander claimed that it was because nothing ever happened and all you had to do was watch TV all night.) He had specifically called dibs on all the night watch shifts this week because there was a multi-day Stargate SG-1 marathon on, counting down every previously aired episode prior to the premiere of the new spinoff series Stargate: Atlantis. The whole Council knew about the 'epic event' because it was the only thing that Andrew had talked about for the past month. Giles had accidentally scheduled Dawn to night watch duties on the roster, until Andrew had threatened to stop feeding their small army of Slayers. Hungry Slayers were cranky Slayers and so the schedule had be rapidly reshuffled so that the demon summoning geek got his marathon.
"What episode are they on?" Xander grabbed some of Andrew's popcorn as he tuned in. He wasn't as much of a rabid fan as Andrew, having spent most of his high school career patrolling with Buffy rather than vegging out in front of the TV, but he had caught the show whenever he could. This was a good chance to earn back his suffering geek cred (with all the physical activity in his life he almost felt like a jock), catch up with his favorite group of intrepid explorers, and it didn't involve moving, which his screaming, bruised and tired muscles voted for whole heartedly.
"You just missed the opening credits on episode 100."
"Isn't that the one where they find out about a TV show based on them. The episode's almost entirely fan service."
"Yeah, it's awesome."
They shared a grin. "I have great timing then. The only episode I like better is 'Window of Opportunity'."
"Ah, the time loop, a classic sci-fi favorite story device."
Xander nodded sagely, "It's right up there with alter egos, amnesia and time traveling."
"Well, you missed 'Window...' and '1969.' They're airing the seasons in order and those were in season 4 and 2, we're up to 5."
"At least I managed to come early enough to miss season 6. I hated Jonas and didn't start watching the show again until Daniel came back."
The commercial break ended and Andrew shushed Xander and turned back to the TV. They sat in near silence for a few episodes, Andrew being totally enthralled in the action he must have seen a million times and Xander half asleep and more instinctually drawn to the movement on the screen than paying any attention to the content.
"How cool would it be to be able to go through the Stargate. To meet real life aliens." Andrew had his super-enthused fanboy expression on and was staring at the TV with wide, excited eyes. He looked like a half demented puppy.
Xander shrugged and winced at the muscle spasm it caused in his abused axe swinging arm, "We fight demons and the forces of hell, what's so great about aliens? They're just as slimy, horned, scaled and bent on our destruction."
Andrew turned his creepy sparkling eyes to the brunette and was nearly bouncing in his seat. "Y'know. The whole people beyond the stars thing, boldly going where no one's ever gone before."
Xander snorted, "Except, of course, for the native people who were there first. Or the camera crew who filmed you coming through the gate."
Andrew just glared at him, but quickly shook it off in his overwhelming fit of geek euphoria. "Well, I think aliens are a lot cooler than demons. I wish you really could meet SG-1, not just the actors and go on adventures through the stargate."
Xander turned to him in horror and Andrew realized exactly what he'd said and belatedly clapped a hand over his mouth. There was a rustle of cloth behind them and they both turned and looked over the back of the couch warily at the horned, bearded vengeance demon who'd appeared there. D'Hoffryn smiled evilly at the men cowering on the couch.
"I've been waiting for this for a long time. Hello again, Alexander." He nodded his head in a mockery of politeness.
"D'Hoffryn." Xander figured he was screwed but maybe being polite would lighten his sentence.
"I have always held you responsible for my dear Anyanka's mortality and death, Alexander. How appropriate that the one to see her last moments is the one to curse you. I really must thank you for this opportunity, young Andrew."
Andrew was a little startled with the acknowledgement and squeaked an unsteady, "No problem."
Xander just gave him an incredulous look and a smack upside the head.
"I'll fix it, I promise!" Andrew yelled as Xander and D'Hoffryn dissappeared with a flash of light and an echoing, "Granted."
Xander shut his eye against the blinding light and when he opened them again he was no longer seated on the couch with Andrew, instead he was sitting casually on a metal ramp looking up at the easily recognizable Stargate in the gateroom of a lifesized, fully-functional and fully staffed military base. -Well, crap. This is going to be fun.-
He turned around slowly, taking in the details of the room before his eyes wandered to the control room perched high on the wall in front of him. The control room occupied by a rather shocked looking and slightly bug-eyed, Master Sergeant Walter Harriman. He'd always liked the character of Walter, despite it being a bit part, and not really knowing what else to do, he gave a small, quirky smile and waved casually at the gaping technician.
Still slightly stunned from his entrance, Walter returned the gesture even as his other hand went for a big red panic button. Immediately, alarm klaxxons sounded and red emergency lights flashed as blast doors slammed down over the Control Room's large observation windows.
Xander had to throttle down his fight or flight instinct, knowing that neither would do him any good in this situation. He took up a casual looking, neutral position and sprawled comfortably where he was sitting, leaning back on the ramp on one elbow and stretching his legs out in front of him. The odd position temporarily eased the pain of his tense muscles.
In moments, the gateroom was flooded with soldiers, all aiming uncomfortably high caliber weapons at all of his vital bits. He growled sub-vocally in frustration. He'd had a very long day. He'd trained slayers, tracked, fought and gotten thrown around by demons, been cursed into a TV show by the Council's cook and now there were people pointing weapons at him. He knew nearly all there was to know about these people. He had all the advantage here and he was going to use it. The SGC didn't look kindly on intruders, but they wouldn't harm him unless he was obviously hostile. He was fine as long as he remained non-threatening. But non-threatening didn't mean not irritating and if he was going to have a crappy time of this, he was going to share the misery, and hopefully get some fun out of it. Inside his head a small, evil looking mini-Xander was rubbing his hands together in glee and cackling.
So, when the blast doors over the control room slid back and revealed General Hammond, flanked by SG-1, his inner sci-fi geek squeed a little inside upon seeing them, but he didn't soften his heart and still started off his planned festivities. He got up slowly, making no sudden moves and not going anywhere near his various weapons or pockets.
In heavily accented and unsure sounding English he adressed the gathered personelle, holding his hand up in a gesture universal to trekkies everwhere, he greeted SG-1 carefully. "Greetings, Tauri of Earth. I come in peace. Take me to your leader." At the looks on everyone's faces it took all of his self control and biting the inside of his cheek to prevent the hysterical laughter bubbling up in his chest. He managed to keep his face polite and interested, silently thanking Giles' many boring speeches for that particular ability.
Who knows, maybe this would be fun. He certainly wasn't holding his breath for Andrew, of all people, to rescue him.
Prompt Table