Fic: Demonstrations and remonstrations
Title: Demonstrations and remonstrations
Author: Kirsteena
Fandom: Life on Mars
Spoilers: 2.07
Rating: Green Cortina.
Pairings: Gene/Sam
Word Count: 400 or so
Summary: Gene and Sam have an argument
a/n This came from fiandyfic's meme - write a fic featuring three elements. My three were Giant Props, Gargoyles, and Genetic Abnormalities. Yeah. Crack ensues. Pure dialogue. Thanks to emeriin for her beta reading.
DISCLAIMER: Life on Mars is copyright Kudos and the BBC. All Rights Reserved. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made.
“No.”
“C’mon Guv, it’s only for half an hour.”
“No.”
“Think of the kiddies. Their bright, smiley, happy faces.”
“I could think of Diana Dors in nothing but a feather boa, but me answer’s still no.”
“You’re a chicken. And Diana Dors? That’s who you think of?”
“Chicken? You’re calling Gene Hunt a chicken? And yes Sammy-boy. Old habits die hard, ‘n all that. Me shagging you doesn't change that. Me answer is still no.”
“It’s not like you haven’t had to wear it before.”
“Me putting that thing on earlier was more to do with trying to avoid a potentially nasty situation and less to do with choice. Though if you are going to whine like that I might start to rethink! At least it would be quieter. No!”
“All I’m asking is thirty minutes in the church…”
“See, that’s what I don’t get. They want a demonstration in the church?”
“Yes.”
“Demonstration. In a church?”
“Yes, Gene. Road safety is important, even to church-goers.”
“Then you put this bloody thing on.”
“Er… no.”
“Give me one good reason.”
“Because you lost the bet.”
“Was an unfair bet.”
“Not my fault you fell asleep afterwards.”
“You are gonna lose so much more than a bet, Tyler. How would you like no sex for a fortnight?”
“You would never cope. You would give up in three days.”
“Oh, I’d cope. I have before, I will again. Anyway, falling asleep afterwards, it’s the manly thing to do.”
“Manly? Wham, bam, thank you ma’am, zzzzzzz?”
“Worked for centuries. Anyway, no. No Tufty costume, and definitely no church.”
“What do you have against churches?”
“What, apart from the obvious?”
“Yeeeeesss.”
“Promise you won’t laugh?”
“Huh? Ok, promise.”
“You know them statue thingies on the roof?”
“Gargoyles?”
“Yeah, them. Hate ‘em. Won’t go near them… you promised, you bastard.”
“Had me fingers crossed.”
“You are so not getting any for a fortnight. And I’m gonna bloody tease you so you’ll beg for it.”
“Ok, ok, I’ve stopped laughing now. And there are no gargoyles there. I checked.”
“Thirty minutes?”
“Thirty minutes. No more.”
“Ok, pass that bloody thing here.”
“... Gene?”
“What?”
“Erm…”
“WHAT?”
“I just noticed…”
“My patience is wearing thin, Dorothy. Noticed what?”
“…you have six toes.”
“You just noticed… one question Sam. How many times have you seen me naked?”
“My attention is kind of focused else where…”
“So is mine, but I do notice things, like that mole at the top of your thigh. Are you blushing?”
“Maybe…”
“You great girly, sissy...”
Author: Kirsteena
Fandom: Life on Mars
Spoilers: 2.07
Rating: Green Cortina.
Pairings: Gene/Sam
Word Count: 400 or so
Summary: Gene and Sam have an argument
a/n This came from fiandyfic's meme - write a fic featuring three elements. My three were Giant Props, Gargoyles, and Genetic Abnormalities. Yeah. Crack ensues. Pure dialogue. Thanks to emeriin for her beta reading.
DISCLAIMER: Life on Mars is copyright Kudos and the BBC. All Rights Reserved. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made.
“No.”
“C’mon Guv, it’s only for half an hour.”
“No.”
“Think of the kiddies. Their bright, smiley, happy faces.”
“I could think of Diana Dors in nothing but a feather boa, but me answer’s still no.”
“You’re a chicken. And Diana Dors? That’s who you think of?”
“Chicken? You’re calling Gene Hunt a chicken? And yes Sammy-boy. Old habits die hard, ‘n all that. Me shagging you doesn't change that. Me answer is still no.”
“It’s not like you haven’t had to wear it before.”
“Me putting that thing on earlier was more to do with trying to avoid a potentially nasty situation and less to do with choice. Though if you are going to whine like that I might start to rethink! At least it would be quieter. No!”
“All I’m asking is thirty minutes in the church…”
“See, that’s what I don’t get. They want a demonstration in the church?”
“Yes.”
“Demonstration. In a church?”
“Yes, Gene. Road safety is important, even to church-goers.”
“Then you put this bloody thing on.”
“Er… no.”
“Give me one good reason.”
“Because you lost the bet.”
“Was an unfair bet.”
“Not my fault you fell asleep afterwards.”
“You are gonna lose so much more than a bet, Tyler. How would you like no sex for a fortnight?”
“You would never cope. You would give up in three days.”
“Oh, I’d cope. I have before, I will again. Anyway, falling asleep afterwards, it’s the manly thing to do.”
“Manly? Wham, bam, thank you ma’am, zzzzzzz?”
“Worked for centuries. Anyway, no. No Tufty costume, and definitely no church.”
“What do you have against churches?”
“What, apart from the obvious?”
“Yeeeeesss.”
“Promise you won’t laugh?”
“Huh? Ok, promise.”
“You know them statue thingies on the roof?”
“Gargoyles?”
“Yeah, them. Hate ‘em. Won’t go near them… you promised, you bastard.”
“Had me fingers crossed.”
“You are so not getting any for a fortnight. And I’m gonna bloody tease you so you’ll beg for it.”
“Ok, ok, I’ve stopped laughing now. And there are no gargoyles there. I checked.”
“Thirty minutes?”
“Thirty minutes. No more.”
“Ok, pass that bloody thing here.”
“... Gene?”
“What?”
“Erm…”
“WHAT?”
“I just noticed…”
“My patience is wearing thin, Dorothy. Noticed what?”
“…you have six toes.”
“You just noticed… one question Sam. How many times have you seen me naked?”
“My attention is kind of focused else where…”
“So is mine, but I do notice things, like that mole at the top of your thigh. Are you blushing?”
“Maybe…”
“You great girly, sissy...”