One Piece fic-PoSM, Chapter 3
Title: The Psychology of a Shattered Mind
Chapter Title: Distance & Horizons
Rating: PG-13 / T
Characters: Mostly Usopp and Luffy
Word Count: About 3.6k
Warnings: Disturbing imagery, implications of non-con/dub-con, and violence. Potential spoilers for entire series. Angsty Usopp and blatant excuse for nakama comfort. This will be intense. Possible spoilers for entire series. AU from Usopp being stuck on the Bowin Islands.
Can also be found at FF.net here. Comments very appreciated. Con Crit loved also.
Chapter links (on LJ): Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15
Usopp realizes belatedly that he has done a lot of stupid things in his lifetime, but this probably takes the cake, the plate the cake is sitting on, and a little of the table, too. If only log poses didn't set so quickly and the place hadn't been filled with so many man-eating plants that boats didn't stay for more than half an hour at the plant-island-roots turned shoreline, he might have actually bothered to use some caution with the people he was approaching. He was too happy to catch a ship anchored at the shore at all that he hadn't given much thought to what kind of people they could be.
"Crap crap crap crap crap…"
Yes, he should have known better than to waltz right down into the arms of slave traders-especially after everything he has seen at Sabaody, and double especially when he doesn't have any strong-armed swordsmen, smart-mouthed cooks, or stretchy straw hat-wearers to back his daring escapades up. He should have stayed fat and feasting at the interior, not gone looking for a way out of this place, even if he did have really good reason to.
Where are those eight thousand loyal followers when he needs them? This is going to require a stern lecture when they show back up…
He lets out a soft eep-which is entirely unrelated to being hauled up the side of a ship by his overall straps, of course-and struggles a little in the air. His captors get him on deck and begin marching him across it towards an ominous-looking door. The wheels in his head are whirring, trying to think up a plan, an idea, an anything that might get him out of this mess before he ends up clapped in irons with a bunch of other woebegone captives below deck.
He concludes that unless Heracles turns out to have followed him down here for no apparent reason, and suddenly leaps to his rescue, he is doomed. He had yelled loud enough on shore when the ship's landfall group had made their ill-intentions obvious. His new found companion on this island is no doubt too far away to have even heard him.
He supposes the Great Captain Usopp will find the generosity in his heart to forgive the island native for failing to come in his hour of need.
His eight thousand followers, however, will have some explaining to do…
Robin thinks that whatever island they arrive at next, the first thing she should do is pick up some sort of psychology related texts. Perhaps what will be easiest to find will be volumes put out by the WG on marine battle-fatigue, the after affects of traumatic fights, that sort of thing, though she doubts such volumes' actual usefulness. Based on their combined understandings of Usopp's situation, which is limited since they were more interested in getting him out of Mariejoa than interviewing random passerby on why he was locked up in a cavern with a couple bodies, she fears a slow recovery-if there even is one. Chopper is not a doctor of psychological injuries, and it is obvious enough to her that, somewhere along the line, the sniper's usual way of dealing with traumatic situations has failed him utterly.
Not that, by her estimations, it would have been survived all that much better by anyone else on their crew, except Zoro or Luffy. Perhaps Franky, Nami, Sanji or herself would have managed better overall, but Usopp… Chopper, too, she doubts …
Her eyes have not skimmed a word of the book in her hands in the last fifteen minutes, so she closes it with a sigh and sets it aside. Her interest is lost for the moment. She will pick it up again later. Shifting in the lawn chair, she turns her gaze to the ocean above.
Though she will not admit it aloud, being under ten thousand meters of water is very unnerving to her as a Devil Fruit user. It's almost as distracting as the issues with Usopp, so it's really no wonder she can't get any reading done.
"Robin-chwan, would you care to sample a few of these delicate pastries made with the pure sweetness of my adoration?" Sanji's voice interrupts her musings and she finds a plate of delicate pastry puffs, drizzled with what looks like chocolate sauce, before her. She is unable to help the smile that creeps over her face at Sanji's latest grandiose confession of love as she selects two from the plate. Truly, his words are sometimes more inventive than his drinks and desserts-although he would probably take that statement as a put-down and not a compliment.
She samples one immediately, since he is waiting with an eager expression, and gives him an ever so slightly widened version of her earlier smile, although she doesn't quite feel it. "As delicious as ever, thank you," she says.
She feels badly for him after what happened this morning.
Sanji straightens with a grin and makes, Robin assumes, to move on to Nami, but then, he hesitates. "Robin-chan, might I inquire of you…?"
She tips her head. "Yes?"
Sanji's grip on the tray is shifting. "How is Usopp?"
She takes a moment to fully focus her attention on the image that she had relegated to the back of her mind: the one coming from the eyes she has bloomed on one wall of the sick bay. "Asleep," she says. "I believe that returning to the stronger dose of painkillers did the trick."
"That's good," says Sanji, and his shoulders sag a little, though he still shifts in an ill-at-ease manner. However, he brightens and continues, "I'll just bring these over to Nami-swan then. Would you like another cup of coffee once I'm done with that?"
How he knows she has finished it when he hasn't looked down or even come from an angle where his approach would have revealed this is a mystery; but, she suspects he knows her habits well enough that all he has to do is look at a clock. "That would be wonderful." She hands over the empty mug and relaxes as Sanji spins off, all cheer and hearts again as he calls out for Nami.
It will be impossible to return her attentions to her book for the next half-hour after being asked about Usopp. Her eyes in the sick bay watch carefully as he stirs a little, then settles. She wants no repeats of this morning, when Sanji had walked in on an Usopp so worked up that they could hardly get out of him what was wrong. It had turned out to be part panic attack, part arm and leg pain, as Chopper had re-broken the poorly set limbs a few days before.
Perhaps, Robin thinks, more panic attack than pain. Sanji had been the first one to check in on the sick bay that morning, as Chopper had fallen asleep on the couch in the galley. When he went in and came back out yelling for Chopper not a moment later, Robin had been startled enough to accidentally drop her book and loose her place. She had rarely heard Sanji sounding as distressed as he did at that moment. She followed Chopper into the sick bay, though she'd hung back in the doorway, not wanting to get in the way. Sanji was gripping Usopp's forearms, trying to get an answer from him about what was wrong-any answer-but the sniper could only shudder in Sanji's grasp. Usopp's jaw was flexing repeatedly, as if trying to force out a sound, but his eyes stared straight ahead, past everything to something only he could see. Usopp cried and shook himself to utter exhaustion, eventually falling back asleep, helped along Chopper's mix of a stronger painkiller and a sedative.
After that the whole ship was wide awake, and what would otherwise have been another quiet morning turned into one of confused activity, everyone's nerves on the short side.
She wonders, if this is Usopp's reaction to nothing, how he will react to the Sunny being attacked.
Robin hasn't brought it up yet, but since this morning she has been thinking it might be best to ask if the fish-folk know a way to take Usopp back to Syrup Village. She remembers hearing that the girl from Usopp's home village who gave them the Going Merry took up doctoring. A girl he knows-or once knew-and a quiet, stable life will be the best medicine for this situation.
Or so she thinks.
She has a feeling that Luffy will not like the idea. None of the others will like the idea, at least not at first. In her heart, even she would rather give Usopp more time.
This is something they all will have to agree on, however. If she doesn't at least suggest this idea soon, it will be difficult for them to even consider it, once they've really sailed deep into the New World. Luffy will take convincing even if the rest of the crew is in favor. Sooner rather than later is much preferable.
Robin is silent throughout dinner, still turning over the idea in her mind even as she prepares to suggest it. She has no smiles for Luffy's antics, the faint possibility of never seeing Usopp again-you never knew for certain what could happen on the Grand Line, after all-weighing heavily on her. If anyone notices, they don't comment.
Dinner is almost over when she finds a suitable pause, in between the moment when Luffy gets his token smack for stealing the last piece of food-off of Zoro's plate, today-and Sanji begins clearing the dishes.
"There is something I believe this crew needs to discuss," Robin says, as a way of opening the conversation. Most of their eyes hold mild surprise, almost curiosity, as they turn their attention to her. She continues. "That is, what to do about Usopp."
The curiosity fades to clouded wariness in Zoro, seriousness in Nami, worry in Chopper, and confusion in Luffy. Brook remains expressionless, and a skull joke about that would be appropriately interjected here if he were the one speaking. Franky is not here, and although she would rather include him in the discussion, someone will be staying with Usopp on continuous rotation for the foreseeable future. There is no better time than this, since someone will always be missing. Sanji, with a bitter smirk he tries to hide behind his long flop of hair by turning away, rises and begins taking up the dishes.
"What's your concern, Robin-chan?" he prompts quietly.
Robin pauses to look everyone in the eye before beginning. "After…this morning…I have been thinking about Usopp a great deal. I propose that it would be best for him if we found a way to send him back to his hometown in the East Blue."
Sounds of disbelief come from everyone-except Sanji and Zoro, with Nami's gasp being more like a sharp intake of breath than anything else.
"Are you serious?" Chopper splutters.
Luffy's stare is intense, but not as angry as she expected it to be. "Eh? Are you saying we should go back to Syrup Village until he's better?"
She sighs. That's why. "What I mean is that he should go back, but not with us. He should return to life in the village where he came from. He-" she struggles to put it into words that Luffy will understand. "-his heart is injured. The Grand Line, with its grave and unpredictable dangers, is no place for someone with this type of hurt. Plainly put, he is sick, and it is an illness that not even Chopper can heal. Only time and peace will achieve that."
"She's right, Luffy," Sanji says. "Usopp's not up to this journey anymore. A guy in his condition can't handle the Grand Line."
Luffy's eyes widen as he looks up at the cook, who returns the gaze with one of his own, expression perfectly serious. Their captain whirls to address Chopper. "That's ridiculous. Of course you can fix him, right? You can make anyone better. Tell them!"
The reindeer's gaze falls to the empty spot at his place at the table. "Actually … actually, it's true … I'm not a doctor of mental injury. Robin's right. I don't really know how to help Usopp there. I can fix his body, but I can only try to fix his mind. So sending him back home…" Chopper's gaze snaps back up. "Luffy, it probably would be the best thing for him."
"The fish-folk may know a way to take him through the Calm Belts and out to the East Blue with relatively little danger, via underwater currents." Robin glances at Nami, who has her elbows on the table, chin resting on her hands. The other woman seems to have gotten over any initial surprise and is watching Robin with a thoughtful frown. "As I understand, the they may have done so before. If we ask, they will likely be quite willing to help."
Luffy's confused frown has grown deeper. His voice has lost its lightness. "So you're saying … we should send Usopp home? We should forget about his ambitions and friendship and send him away, just because he's sick? What about his dream? How's he gonna achieve that if we just send him away?"
She needs to be gentle here with their captain, so very gentle and careful. He is not the type of person who will do things he perceives as giving up, so she softens her tone, forcing her sincerity to the surface, where she hopes it shines through in her gaze. "I do not wish to forget anything about him. I only want to do what is best for him. I want him to get better, but I do not think he can do it here."
Nami's brow creases. "Luffy … we should consider it."
"Eh! Not you too, Nami!"
Luffy doesn't look angry. He looks betrayed. Rising, he slams his hands down on the table. "Forget it! Usopp's staying here, and that's captain's orders."
Zoro's sigh is exasperated. He slouches down even more, putting his hands behind his head and looking ready to nod off. "Orders are orders. You guys should give this up."
"Who asked you?" Nami growls.
"Yeah, do what the lady says and shut up. No one wants your opinion," Sanji says.
Nami hits Zoro on the head before he can even begin a retort.
"Luffy, please, listen with an open mind-"
Luffy sticks his fingers in his ears, glaring. He stomps a foot. "No, listen to me. Usopp's not going back to Syrup Village unless he wants to. He's our friend. I don't understand what happened to him in that city. But I don't care. He was alone I won't let him be hurt by that happening again. We can't send him to people that are just gonna be strangers. Not when he needs his friends." He looks to Robin. "Why aren't we enough now when we've always been enough before?"
Enies Lobby rises in her thoughts for a reason she can't immediately put a finger on. She sees Usopp-all of them-standing on that wall. They've come through impossibilities to get to her, and they'll go through any others they have to. Usopp appearance is more mysterious and dangerous than ever before, and even if he claims it's not him, but Sogeking, Robin knows better. He's chased her far, even when she didn't want it, even when he wasn't officially one of the crew. He didn't owe her any loyalty. Still, for her sake, he came, without hesitation, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
She sighs. "I simply … want him to be somewhere safe. I want him to get better, Luffy."
"I think we all do," Sanji says, quiet. She is a little surprised he doesn't continue to argue the issue with Luffy-the worry is still clear in his eyes. There is a sense of understanding there too, however, and she wonders if his thoughts have fallen in the same direction as hers.
"A reasonable compromise, then?" she says. "Ask him what he wants."
"As if he even knows what's good for him right now-" Nami begins, clamping her mouth shut only at Robin's pleading look.
"Explain to him the dangerous of the Grand Line, and his history in the place we are offering to send him, and let him choose," Robin says.
Luffy's brow furrows, but one side is a little lifted with puzzlement, as if there might be some sort of trick to this suggestion even if he can't see it. "I guess-" he says, scratching his nose, "-it wouldn't be fair if he did want to go back."
"Uuuu-ssopp-p-u."
He steals another glance at the muscled man with the metal nose and blue hair, but the man-Franky, he said, didn't he?-continues to snore, much to his relief. Franky is supposed to be making sure he finishes his broth, which tastes faintly of vitamins and something bitter, but the large man fell asleep not too soon after their conversation flagged. That's fine, since they don't have much to talk about, nor does he have much to say. It makes him nervous when he has to struggle to answer a constant stream of queries he's not sure of the proper answers to, since Franky seems to expect they will begin a conversation about strange technological mumbo-jumbo. It's like he's suppose to know about it or something. He can't understand what Franky's topics could have been prompted by.
"U-soooo-pp."
No, he doesn't mind that Franky sleeps. This gives him a moment to try his name on for size, to let it roll off of his tongue without anyone listening, even if he's barely loud enough to call this a whisper.
"Usopp."
It's what Luffy-what everyone on the ship-says is his name, anyway.
"Captain Usopp."
He is silent for a long moment, taking another spoonful of broth as he ponders the weight of captain in front of his name. His lips quirk up ever so slightly and he shakes his head. It doesn't fit. Not quite.
Usopp-and just Usopp-is a pretty good name. It's neither boring nor ridiculous. His rescuers seem to like it and he doesn't have any other suggestions. Not that the name itself rings of any meaning to him, but-
"I'm Usopp," he says to the far wall with a sense of finality. He is a little loud, so he glances over at Franky again, who still doesn't stir. It's not as if the larger man really needs to be awake to make him worry about strange conversations-or about finishing his food like he's supposed to. Everything about Franky's upper body is huge-he's afraid to do anything that will make this guy mad. So he lifts the bowl, draining it in on last go, then sets it aside. Franky stays asleep, and everything is quiet.
This, he doesn't mind. He lies back against the pillows.
The door leading to the galley flies open and slams against the wall. Franky tumbles to the floor, breaking off mid-snore. Everything rattles, including Usopp's stomach. He might loose the broth he has downed. The blood is pounding in his shocked mind in great throbs, drowning out the peace that had perched there moments before. That peace was contingent on the quiet, contingent on Franky staying asleep-
Franky is dazed, but now also very much awake. "Luffy? What's with the noise? What's wrong?"
Luffy marches into the room with a frown that, coupled with the wide, staring eyes, makes it look like the skinny boy is bracing himself for something. Usopp tenses, trying to see beyond the doorway Luffy entered from. His hands are grabbing for a blade again, and in order to keep from panicking when he doesn't find one-he needs one no he doesn't don't freak, don't freak-he has to tighten his hands around blankets hard enough that they hurt.
Luffy marches up to the bedside without explanation to the spluttering Franky. "Usopp," he says, "Do you want to go back to Syrup Village?"
Where? is his first thought, before it is hushed by a tickle of memory.
She is pale and skinny in the dark, soft eyes sharpened by panic. He tries not to think about Kaya as he edges the weapon in his hands a little closer to target. She doesn't see him yet, lying still as he is among other bodies. He tightens his finger on the trigger. He's counting on making this as quiet and clean as possible. He doesn't want repeats of last time, doesn't want to watch another person's life fade as they curse him and he stands by too scared to either speed up the process or to try to stop it. He's sick thinking about it, and he'll turn the gun on himself if that happens again-
He is distantly aware that he has a hand pressed to his mouth to muffle his choked sobbing, distantly aware of Luffy's and Franky's shocked looks, distantly aware of the others crowded in the doorway. He curls over on himself, swallowing back acid and trying to breathe over a body that is shaking too badly to control.
He should stop. He needs to stop, needs to be calm and remain aware of his surroundings.
Control. Control yourself!
But he can't.
She looked like Kaya-
The doctor is digging into his medicines now, readying something he hopes is a sedative. He doesn't want to feel the rushing in his head or the tightness in his chest. He doesn't want to be fighting back bile as his hand grows sticky with tears. Luffy sits on the edge of the bed and wraps his arms around him. He tries to pull away, but Luffy only tightens his grip.
"If you don't wanna go," Luffy murmurs, "Just say so."
Luffy, he knows, has promised to protect him. Maybe he should want to go to this place-maybe it's safer, he doesn't know-but that name makes him think of Kaya, and he can't, he simply can't-
He can't go back there.
Chopper comes up with a cup of something he has mixed up, but Luffy holds up a hand. "Wait."
He can trust Luffy; he knows he can.
"Dun wanna go." He buries his face as best he can on Luffy's shoulder and swallows, queasiness taking over panic.
He wants to stay here.
Continued in Chapter 4: Landfall