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gleeker13 August 1 2010, 04:25:51 UTC
Imagine slow clapping slowly turning into thunderous applause.

Your journal entries are almost always deep and thoughtful. I think it is amazing, and I think that the way that you explain your thoughts to others is brilliant. I'm not so good at turning my thoughts into words so I shall not try and just say that sometimes I feel comfortable and happy in my body and other times I wish it was different.

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lezi August 1 2010, 19:27:57 UTC
Why thank you, darlin'! ♥
I just like to hear from my FList whenever I can, and I put my teenage angst/rambling aside to try and sound more mature, to lure y'all in. I'm glad it seems to have been working thus far. :P

Being comfortable in your own skin is something that happens far too rarely--for me, at least. But maybe that's what makes it such an optimal, comforting feeling, why we're always striving towards it.

Have a nice day, love, and thank you for commenting! :D

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sevenswells August 1 2010, 07:56:42 UTC
I always like your writing! It amazes me that you're so young and so deep - I hope you'll make something of it, you has talent ( ... )

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lezi August 1 2010, 21:02:36 UTC
"I gave up on my body... when I realized that it couldn't compete."
I completely understand where you're coming from. Sometimes it's easier to just BE than try to conform into a specific body type/image. And the whole looking-good-then-without-realizing-it? That's me! When I gained a lot of weight (darker time in my life), that was when my cousin decided to tell me that I looked good before. I thought, "Gee, thanks for telling me now, almost one hundred pounds later."
But enough woe-ing and lingering on past things I can't change, haha.

"My mind gets praised when I polish it, sharpen it and flaunt it around. My body gets soiled if I do the same. I can use my mind as a weapon, whereas my body can't even protect itself. I consider it as a mere practical tool these days. An operating shell for my mind, nothing more."That's a sad, but blunt way of describing yourself. But you know what they say--brains over brawn (or beauty that never seems to be enough), right ( ... )

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vccv August 2 2010, 01:53:51 UTC
I love your pensive posts ♥ I can understand the two body image reference. Unfortunately for me, it's in reverse. I have spent 9/10 of my life overweight. When I hit morbidly obese (oh, how I fucking hate that phrase) I took a long look in the mirror and that image burnt in my head. I've since lost 143 lbs --yes, I 'weight drop' like a D-lister name drops *LOL*-- but I close my eyes and I'm still 330. I startle myself sometimes when I look in the mirror. I know that should be awesome, but it's sort of sad for me. I don't know who the hell that person in the mirror is anymore. I feel really disconnected. I think I avoid mirrors more now than at the worst of my weight. Meh...should have put whinge fest in the subject line *L* Anyway, your random thoughts are brilliant and I love you to death for them :)

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lezi August 2 2010, 02:42:45 UTC
If it wouldn't make me come off as a creepy Internet-stalker, I'd ask you for a picture of yourself just so I could point out every little positive thing about your appearance.
But you should know that no matter how you look, you're still kind of amazing to me. ♥

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vccv August 2 2010, 15:34:28 UTC
You know, I have several of 330 me. I actually keep one on my phone as a last resort when I know I HAVE TO HAVE that tasty Dairy Queen treat *L*. I don't think I've had any taken at this weight though. I'll have to get one now so I can send it!

And you could never be a creepy internet stalker. Your attention is both wanted and loved ♥

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lezi August 2 2010, 19:52:49 UTC
Feel free to, hun. (: You're a good person, and I'd never get tired of smothering you with love. xD

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profoundrice August 2 2010, 13:40:21 UTC
Thank you so much for this entry. You are amazing. <3

There were a handful of years before finishing high school but after I'd grown old enough to really be conscious of my body as something other people might judge me on, that I just didn't think about it. I had exams to study for, extra-curricular commitments, friends who wouldn't have batted an eyelid if I'd decided to shave my eyebrows clean off, a mandate from my parents that I wasn't to distract myself from study by dating, and a school uniform to hide behind.

I think I'd spent so long being sure that I could defer it all and pick up where I left off whenever I pleased to become that proverbial swan, that when the real world (university) finally hit, it felt like a terrifying loss of control, even though I didn't really have any at all to begin with. For the first time, I really saw myself. Me, without all those other things that I'd used to define who I was (grades, friends, my uniform, the hierarchy of high school), and all I could think was No. No, this isn't me. I'm so ( ... )

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lezi August 2 2010, 19:40:54 UTC
Well, thank you for responding, babe. (:

"...friends who wouldn't have batted an eyelid if I'd decided to shave my eyebrows clean off..."Don't you love friends like that? (Even if my best friends claim they wouldn't talk to me if I shaved my head bald and/or turned into a sparkling vampire, I know they'd still love me no matter what ( ... )

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