Well-Woven Net, Knot 14: An Unwanted Reunion

[jenova]

Great googly-moogly, that took forever. This one is a monster, but all of the logical breaking points made for some very small sections... so, apologies in advance

Comments

[syverce]

Your fight scene was well done, at once both very clear and capturing the chaos of a fight. That is, choosing to show the majority of it from Alessar's perspective prevented sensory overload, but you still caught the confusion of a melee (especially for someone who is typically a ranged fighter).

I have other comments, but they're very incoherent. Sleep now, further intelligent discourse later.

[jenova]

Thank you! :3 Wow, somehow you psychically pinpointed my fight scene anxiety, even though I forgot to mention it in the A/N. ¬_¬ I'm glad it works -- and I couldn't imagine switching perspectives in a relatively short fight, it'd be difficult to groom into a nice flow, I think. (Although I'm sure there are folks out there who can manage!)

Sleep sounds awesome, as soon as this art-induced squee wears off.

[jenova]

Before I forget, ART SQUEE! ♥ ♥ It's by PayRoo. I asked if anyone would be interested in doing a commission of Zev and Alessar from the Satinalia story, and she spoke up, and hooraaaaay I have pretty arts :D

[tarante11a]

Beautifully choreographed fighting - readable, exciting action! I thought the touch of having his bow string cut was a moment of storytelling wonderment - excellent way to add peril - and I loved it that Alessar is attuned to listening out for Zev. A battle I thoroughly enjoyed reading.

And as always, I'm in awe at how you managed to take gameplay I've already played several times over, and wrap Alessar's thoughts and words around it so well that, even though I know what's coming, it's still a gripping read! And you've included another of my favourite Zev lines - the 'And I'm not about to let that happen', which was so unexpectedly protective when I was playing, that I got a bit of a flutter from it. So I particularly love the fact that you went for it and let Zev save Alessar's life. Quite right too! 'Not about to let that happen' indeed!

Definitely worth your wrangling to get this one down I think, nice work m'dear! *hugs* Tara

[jenova]

Thanks, Tara! :3 You know, the bowstring thing was actually one of the very first mental images I came up with when dreaming up the fight -- here's Alessar doing his shooty thing and all of a sudden, someone's stealthed behind him. I kind of wanted to give an idea of the speed of the duel, and throwing in something like that, with the reaction time and all, seemed like one way to go about it. I'm not sure it worked out quite as planned, but it plays nice and fast in my head. XD

Heh, I love most of the PC's possible comments before the fight, so I used several of them... ;D But yes, the "I'm not about to let that happen" is a strong one... that and the "neither do you, Taliesen" say so much about how far he's come and how far he's willing to go, I think :) I don't think it ever crossed my mind to not have Zevran saving Alessar at the end... so much of Zevran's story through the game is him figuring out stuff for himself, and this would be another example of that... if that makes any sense.

Thanks so much for reading! :3 *hugs*

[barkingm1]

You know how after an outstanding performance there will be a moment of utter silence before the audience explodes into applause?

*utter silence*
WOOT!

Beautifully done. I haven't much to add to the previous comments regarding the awesome fight scene, other than "yep. I agree. Totally. What s/he said."

You always do such a great job of conveying a sense of newness & discovery about the characters' motives, even for us DA:O fanatics. You handled Alessar's impressions of Taliesen with just the right touch, I think - beginning to put two & two together, but not "Aha! Now all is revealed!"

Certainly the Arl's estate would be a bit of a schlep from the market. He's one of the most important members of the nobility, after all. ;)

Love the foreshadowing with the earring - at the moment the fidgeting is simply a 'tell' of Zevran's turmoil, but . . . squee. <3

*Happy sigh* So much to mull over. And read over again. And again.

[jenova]

Aww, thanks so much! *^^*

This whole story has been an interesting trip for me too, in terms of poking at the characters' motivations... I didn't think *quite* so hard about a lot of this while I was playing ;D But trying to write around it forces me to, especially from Alessar's POV (obviously... XD). It's interesting trying to frame everyone else's actions through his eyes, though. I know some people do actively RP while they're playing, but I've never been very good at that... this is how I accomplish the same thing, I suppose. ;)

(See, most fantasy settings I've seen have all the nobles' houses and estates in the same general area... I figured I could get away with that one... XD Especially since, yeah, there really aren't that many Arlings!)

YAY thank you for commenting on the earring. ;D I know a lot of folks, when they play, end up getting that conversation in the Back Alley itself, but I didn't go that way, and I wanted to throw something out there... XD

Thanks for reading! :3

[sian_shoe]

very cute :) your warden is very strong in quiet way, and a good foil for Zev.

[jenova]

Thank you! :3 Alessar's a bit of a dork, but I imagine there's some amount of "opposites attract" going on there... or something. XD;