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The Avengers - Retail "System's Down, Call MIS" 1/4 someidiothasice October 27 2011, 04:24:50 UTC
Okay, this is just slightly... off from what you were going for, I know. Pretty much a monkey could handle any kind of retail job, it's so easy, and there's nothing that really needs explaining, but I just couldn't resist.

This is mostly me just blowing off some steam from working too much. Thanks for inspiring!

System's Down, Call MIS (or everybody knows that customer service really runs the show)

*

"Tony, to register one please. Tony, register one."

"GodDAMNit. I'm never getting this done today." Tony let out a grunt of frustration, slamming the mangled costume in his hand down on the desk. Steve let out a quiet, shushing noise from across the room, jerking his chin in the direction of a mother and her two kids on the other side of the glass window looking at them in alarm.

Tony gave them Bland Smile #7: Everything's Hunky-Dory, Go Back to Your Shopping, then pressed the button on the walkie-talkie at his hip. "You know, we have these things for a reason, Darcy," he said into his earpiece. "Or do you just enjoy alerting ( ... )

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The Avengers - Retail "System's Down, Call MIS" 2/4 someidiothasice October 27 2011, 04:25:58 UTC
Tony actually had thought the sign might not be enough for the truly oblivious, so he'd had metal plates engraved with their policy bolted onto the wall of every lane. They were bright red, with giant yellow words on them, and if every idiot customer in line who stood right next to it for ten minutes while they waited to be rung up wanted to ignore them, then so fucking be it. Tony would read the damn thing to them himself, right off the card.

Maybe he'd nod while they continued to bitch before giving them Bland Smile #4: No, I Won't Make an Exception, THIS IS OUR FUCKING POLICY, and send them on their merry way. Then he'd jump out a window, because this wasn't what he signed up for when he took over the company.

He wasn't supposed to have to deal with people, honestly. The things he did for a good lay ( ... )

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The Avengers - Retail "System's Down, Call MIS" 3/4 someidiothasice October 27 2011, 04:31:18 UTC
"Tony, please come to register one. Tony--"

"Christ, I'm coming!" Tony bellowed, making the customers standing near the office all flinch. He gave them all Bland Smile #1: Yes, I See You and Still Don't Give a Fuck and snatched up the cards, doing his level best not to slam the door on his way out ( ... )

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The Avengers - Retail "System's Down, Call MIS" 4/4 someidiothasice October 27 2011, 04:32:36 UTC
She chucked the magazine at him and he snatched it out of the air, staring in horror at the candid shot of Steve and him on a boat (motherfucker, his brain helpfully inserted for him) that graced the front page.

Two days ago they had been on Tony's yacht. They had been topless, like most people out at sea tend to be, which wasn't so surprising. But they'd been fresh into this whole sex thing between them for just over a week, so they might've been a little... handsy. The snapshot wasn't the greatest quality, but it showed Steve holding up a strawberry to Tony's mouth with a coy smile clearly enough.

He stared down at the title, BILLIONAIRE CEO CAUGHT WITH BOYTOY, SEE PAGE TWELVE FOR DETAILS!, for a full minute before his brain came back online ( ... )

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ALSO, THIS. someidiothasice October 27 2011, 05:12:25 UTC

... )

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Re: ALSO, THIS. leupagus October 27 2011, 08:22:03 UTC
Haha - this is AWESOME.

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Re: The Avengers - Retail "System's Down, Call MIS" 4/4 leupagus October 27 2011, 05:14:43 UTC
Oh man - if retail had ever been anything like that, I would've gone back years ago. This is fantastic - plus I love how you got Sang Min from H50 in there.

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Re: The Avengers - Retail "System's Down, Call MIS" 4/4 someidiothasice October 27 2011, 05:20:38 UTC
I seriously couldn't resist. I've a bit of a soft spot for his adorable criminal ass. And oh, if only my bosses looked like RDJ and Chris Evans.

Thanks, babe! =D

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Re: The Avengers - Retail "System's Down, Call MIS" 4/4 aliassmith October 27 2011, 07:10:29 UTC
"I knew I should've taken that job at Langley," she said. Then she picked up her emergency baseball bat and marched into the fray.

::FLAILS LIKE A FLAILING THING::


... )

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Re: The Avengers - Retail "System's Down, Call MIS" 4/4 someidiothasice October 28 2011, 00:48:22 UTC
Ahahahaha awww, Tony's all starry eyed. This pleases me. I'm glad you liked it!

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Re: The Avengers - Retail "System's Down, Call MIS" 4/4 camshaft22 October 27 2011, 16:34:38 UTC
YES.

I love this story and of course Darcy would be Customer Service.

Brilliant!

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Re: The Avengers - Retail "System's Down, Call MIS" 4/4 someidiothasice October 28 2011, 00:55:09 UTC
She totally, totally would. Darcy would run the whole thing.

Thank you!

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Re: The Avengers - Retail "System's Down, Call MIS" 4/4 jen4850 October 31 2011, 03:15:37 UTC
So true. You made it very funny.

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someidiothasice January 16 2012, 04:15:57 UTC
LOL Thanks, dear!

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Re: The Avengers - Retail "System's Down, Call MIS" 4/4 rueroux December 4 2011, 03:46:06 UTC
Jarvis from Tech. JARVIS FROM TECH!!!

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someidiothasice January 16 2012, 04:18:12 UTC
Couldn't resist. ;-)

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