Best Souvenir, chapter 15

[lettered]

Title: Best Souvenir
Rating: PG for now
Warnings: None for now
Pairings: just B/A for now
Summary: Whistler never existed. Buffy and Angel meet after the End of Days is over. Future fic, alternate reality.
A/N: Much thanks to a2zmom, as always, for finding out was wrong with that one part!

Previous chapters can be found here.

Comments

[stultiloquentia]

The beginning's great, and the end is dazzlingly hot. The middle part, though -- Buffy's thoughts in the bathroom -- feel infodumpy to me. I'm having trouble sorting out my reaction. I agree with everything she's thinking; your meta's as good as ever; but I guess I heard too much Author in there at once. An original story could probably get away with it, because it wouldn't have all that meta looming over it. I'll probably disagree with myself tomorrow. I do (see, I contradict myself!) like that you're letting Buffy be reflective. Because she *can* be reflective, it's just not often obvious on the show, because she doesn't share.

[lettered]

I know exactly what you mean. I have this trouble with wanting to explain everything to the point of exhaustion. I have it especially bad with the middle of longer pieces--I guess because I feel like at first a story should come at you bambambam!, but that later on you should know the characters better. The latter should come naturally, but I never feel it in the stories I write so I get bogged down in it. I'm worried later chapters will share the same issues.

I think Buffy's capacity for reflection really depend on her state of mind. When she's on her game, she's go go go. But, for instance, in S6, I think she spends a lot of time reflecting on her dislike of herself, her difficulty with moving on.

[stultiloquentia]

I feel like at first a story should come at you bambambam!, but that later on you should know the characters better.

Yup, I agree with that, at least for the type of novel most fanfic writers are attempting. And this is totally my problem, too (which is why I pounced on it): How do fanficcers deseminate complex character info without sounding like an argument on Metafandom? You had it nailed for Angel -- all his character stuff interacted really organically with the plot, dialogue, etc. I think for Buffy it was a matter of quantity. One too many paragraphs in a row of, "As you know, Bob, the Doomsday Device has but one weakness..." and how much of it did we need to know urgently?

This is sophisticated stuff. How much of it changes depending on whether you're writing fanfic or pro-fic would be a good discussion question.

[lettered]

To me, exactly this--how to deseminate character info--is the number one most difficult thing about writing. In short stories, I think the answer is easier: you give exactly as much as the reader needs to know. But the reason I love both reading novels and writing them better than short stories is it's not about a point you're getting to, it's about this whole world you're exploring. Yeah, the details should still be important to the over all story, but they're not essential. So, how much do you include, and how do you include it

[i_palimpsest]

Nyah!

I'll be in a cold shower.

[semby]

Damn. Since you ended with the hand down her back, I'm kind of consumed by that right now, but before that happened, I was being very impressed by your Buffy in this chapter. All her issues are so obvious here, ones she's had and ones she had in canon that are only just coming to the surface now that she realizes that she's been missing something. Wonderful writing.

And I love this: Then she knocked him to the ground in an alley and changed everything. Existence was worthwhile, because of her. He believed the world could be a better place, because of her. He could never atone, but maybe he could help-because of her. Because you're still reminding us that while things are so different in this AU, so much would still be the same between them.

[lettered]

So glad you liked what I did with Buffy here. It's fun to bring in the canon and add new elements.

And Angel ...I think many of his emotions about Buffy would be the same no matter when he saw her. Glad that worked for you too! Thanks so much for reading.

[my_daroga]

Dude, this is pretty hot (I'm catching up since you posted more). See, Angel's sexier if I can't see him. And I really like this premise; you've kept everything as it would be and as we recognize, but with weird subtle changes we have to work out.

[lettered]

See, Angel's sexier if I can't see him.

THen you'll *really* like the next chapter. Hahaha.

A2zmom's really good at looking at it from canon perspective and this fic's perspective and . . . merging. I'm glad it makes sense to you.

Thanks so much, K...it means a lot that you read this ;o)

and hi again!

[my_daroga]

Don't give it another thought--I'm happy to read anything you write, because I know I'll enjoy it. I'm enjoying this, certainly.

And I g-mailed you, btw.

[anonymous]

I love this story!! and I seem to recall hearing that there would be new postings of this starting in September.. were the rumors wrong?? or did things just not go as planned?