Really Did It To Myself I Guess, Saw You Standing In That Cocktail Dress
So, uh...yeah. The 12 Random Days In Winter blogs. This is going to work out.
ciaimpala asked me for which Taylor Swift and John Mayer songs mean the most to me right now. There’s two ways to answer this. The songs that mean the most to me, personally, right now are chosen because I actually am in a really great relationship for the first time in a very long time (really, in my entire adult life). So in that case, based purely on that:
*The first is probably a surprise, and the second, not at all, but we’ll get back to that
New friends, perhaps I should explain something here. A few years ago, even before Taylor got her press for Dear John and the Heartbreak Warfare started up, even before they ever performed together live at the Jingle Ball or Half Of My Heart, I got REALLY crazy-eyed shipping them. Like, think about it every day, blog about it constantly, or shoot off an email to duchessofavalon where we would both basically just go AIO;JZSEIJ;IOJZVIUDZSLUHALIUHEANLUAWIU to each other all day long. And then when her Speak Now album came out, I literally went insane.
Now, I’m not completely delusional. I know that they’re real people and I know that there’s been some very harsh words said between them and they are not on good terms. But there is still a sizeable part of me that OTP’s them to my last breath. As with RP fandoms, it’s not really *them* themselves, but kind of these fanfic versions I have of them in my head (and really, there’s multiple versions of that). Also, after years of careful analysis, I firmly believe that they are equally perfect for each other, and equally toxic. There is no blame game in here.
So. What I think ciaimpala was really getting at was what are the songs that give me the most shippy feelings. So, before I lose my mind under the cut, I just want to stress that this is my personal little fantasy fanfic world here, and I do know that many of these songs were explicitly written for other people or before Taylor and John ever met each other, but I have swung them to my perspective. If you want to jump into my little world with me, and good-naturedly laugh at my delusions, or join the cult, please do, but please don’t try and tell me that X Song was written for Jennifer Aniston/Joe Jonas/Jake Gyllenhaal/Jessica Simpson/Whoever. I know.
Ooh, got a little touchy there! I swear I’m not usually like this! It’s just with them, because I am a LUNATIC.
Anyway, back to the show!
So first, a big new one. I have a few J/T ‘universes’ in my head that haven’t actually made it into fanfic (yet...), but a big one that I have is one that starts vaguely in current day, where John and Taylor keep coming back to each other throughout her twenties, and are just sort of toxic for each other, but can’t stay away (I’ll be elaborating on this). The Last Time really highlights that kind of relationship to me. And I do honestly believe that this is what 2010 was like for her.
This is probably a head-scratcher. So, *another* fanfic idea I have for them is the idea of that hiatus John took in 2011(ish) when he just dropped off the public radar. I think Taylor and all the attention from Dear John really did a number on him (I don’t think, I know it did, he’s spoken about it...about the song anyway). He really did have to deal with his broken heart, and it took a long time. The line that breaks my heart in this song is For once in his life, it was quiet. He needed time with himself to get to know John away from all the lights and craziness he’d been living, and this young girl was a little too technicolor and manic for him. I have this idea of John and Taylor as an Unstoppable Force (T) and Immovable Object (J) in 2009-10 but they will eventually learn to meet in the middle. I do think John is on his way to becoming that person.
This one probably doesn’t need too much of an explanation. But while the lyrics and song itself really lends itself to the relationship that they seem to have had (then you came crashing in like the realest thing), I also believe that he wrote this song specifically to be with her. He made this big deal at the time, that he’d never had a featured artist on any of his studio album cuts before, and he was proud that it was her, and so excited to work with her.
But truly, she doesn’t sing at all in this song, save one line, a couple of ooh’s and more or less back-up. Thinking back on this song, and all these years later, it really does sound like a warning to her, and an admission to himself. (I can’t stop loving you.)
In that Songwriters’ Hall of Fame clip, he talks about them being a pair of black swans. He basically calls her his soulmate. (Yes he does. Yes he DOES.)
I think this one was pretty clearly about John. Some people say it was Joe Jonas, but there was a time where I did nothing but compare different interviews and collect little hints she dropped about her songs, and she specifically referenced a guy not returning her calls and acting like he just dropped out of her life, which is what I think happened when John went on the road in early 2010.
This was written YEARS before John ever knew of Taylor, and I’m fairly certain it might have actually been written for Jennifer Love Hewitt (which is strange to think about), but going back to The Last Time, I think it just really speaks to the push-and-pull, can’t stay together/can’t stay away that they had (have...will have again some day).
Once again, this was way before they ever met each other. And I think that John Rich actually wrote more of this song than Taylor did. But more than just the crazy, manic love she had(/has) for him, I feel like, at that age, Taylor thought that was what was ‘real’. So in love, that you acted insane. To contrast it with Who You Love, or Ours, or even Stay, Stay, Stay where everyone is just peacefully happy, it shows the difference from there to *where*.
Especially in this clip here! He really reasons it out for you. I’m tired of being alone, so hurry up and get here. To go back to the Black Swan allusion, that pretty much sums it up.
Okay, here’s where I’ll stop with the pre-cursors. But to me, a lot of their earlier songs really felt prophetic for them. Do I have to fall asleep with roses in my hand, it kind of calls forward to Do You Know Me? where he says a feather in your cap, a flower in your hair.
They’re not over in this song. She’s pleading with him to return, throwing out ultimatums, like she keeps promising to turn the car around, hoping he’ll stop her. And I love the story of this song, that it was written off of one very specific, confirmed event. They were seated in the same row during the CMA awards in 2010, and things were awkward and frosty. And then there was this:
Yeah, obviously this wasn’t written by John. But I remember hearing this at some point in late 2009, before anything was *official* and I was like, hee hee, this is probably what he sang to Taylor. Yeah. PROBABLY. Not to mention this is kind of the eternal Bad Boy/Ingenue Anthem of all time.
I know I said that was it with the back-in-the-days, but you all knew you were going down a rabbit hole with this post. To me, this song mirrors Taylor’s The Way I Loved You, where they are both idealizing their first love for different reasons. In Taylor’s world, it was manic and crazy, dizzying, and for John it was peaceful and lovely. That’s so damn sad to me.
Of course this list wouldn’t be complete without this one. It’s gotten the lion’s share of the press, but this one really completely blew me away the first time I heard it (and then again for the next hundred times I heard it). I know John’s called it ‘cheap songwriting’, but really, her despair is so honest here, even the scratchiness in her vocals. It’s definitely as close as Taylor Swift has ever gotten to singing the blues and if that’s not a tribute to him, than I don’t even know.
John is obviously more subtle about dropping hints for his song inspirations, but I think this one’s pretty clear. Call the press, say my life is a mess. It’s kind of a dig, but it’s delivered with this air of tired resignation (which kind of sums up the Born and Raised album- she really did put him through the ringer).
I mean, there’s that clip, for one, but also. Come on.
One of my big tipping off points, before I ever had anything concrete to go by. They were *very* connected before the Battle Studies album came out, lots of flitting in and out of each other’s lives, and at this point, there’s no denying how greatly they’ve changed each other. For better or worse, they were affected- she’s more jaded, a little bit more angry. He’s more humble, much more still.
This song was written for Jake Owen first in 2007. But it was updated for Speak Now, and if there was ever a lyric that described her intelligent naivete in those early days, it’s You’re the kind of reckless that should send me running but I kind of know that I won’t get far.
Many, many people think that this song was written for Jake Gyllenhaal. But the thing is, it came right after All Too Well on the album, which is undisputedly a Jake Gyllenhaal song (even I know that, and it’s actually my favorite cut on Red), and when she did press for ATW she said that she absolutely had to put *everything* in that song. So, if she put everything into that song, the next wistful ballad had to be for a different reason. There’s a line in Dear John- I stopped picking up and this song is to let you know why, and that line says that when they did end, it was on Taylor. She did the ending, but it was on her to struggle with it afterwards.
And for that matter...
And enough said there.
Paper Doll got tagged as the ‘Taylor song’ (haha, like there’s only one), but this song is so, so sad, even with the upbeat, old school country guitar. He let her down, which made her ‘someone’ (made her grown up, made her tough). But then she *really* let him down (by letting out his secrets, by calling him out for the world to hear), and that was a loop he never saw coming.
*Wow. I’ll have you know I’ve been writing this for two days at this point. I meant to keep this to, like, three each. I should have just answered ALL OF THEM and saved us all the trouble.
I have to end it with this. Just because. Because they were beautiful at one point in time.
<<<333
ciaimpala asked me for which Taylor Swift and John Mayer songs mean the most to me right now. There’s two ways to answer this. The songs that mean the most to me, personally, right now are chosen because I actually am in a really great relationship for the first time in a very long time (really, in my entire adult life). So in that case, based purely on that:
Click to view*The first is probably a surprise, and the second, not at all, but we’ll get back to that
New friends, perhaps I should explain something here. A few years ago, even before Taylor got her press for Dear John and the Heartbreak Warfare started up, even before they ever performed together live at the Jingle Ball or Half Of My Heart, I got REALLY crazy-eyed shipping them. Like, think about it every day, blog about it constantly, or shoot off an email to duchessofavalon where we would both basically just go AIO;JZSEIJ;IOJZVIUDZSLUHALIUHEANLUAWIU to each other all day long. And then when her Speak Now album came out, I literally went insane.
Now, I’m not completely delusional. I know that they’re real people and I know that there’s been some very harsh words said between them and they are not on good terms. But there is still a sizeable part of me that OTP’s them to my last breath. As with RP fandoms, it’s not really *them* themselves, but kind of these fanfic versions I have of them in my head (and really, there’s multiple versions of that). Also, after years of careful analysis, I firmly believe that they are equally perfect for each other, and equally toxic. There is no blame game in here.
So. What I think ciaimpala was really getting at was what are the songs that give me the most shippy feelings. So, before I lose my mind under the cut, I just want to stress that this is my personal little fantasy fanfic world here, and I do know that many of these songs were explicitly written for other people or before Taylor and John ever met each other, but I have swung them to my perspective. If you want to jump into my little world with me, and good-naturedly laugh at my delusions, or join the cult, please do, but please don’t try and tell me that X Song was written for Jennifer Aniston/Joe Jonas/Jake Gyllenhaal/Jessica Simpson/Whoever. I know.
Ooh, got a little touchy there! I swear I’m not usually like this! It’s just with them, because I am a LUNATIC.
Anyway, back to the show!
So first, a big new one. I have a few J/T ‘universes’ in my head that haven’t actually made it into fanfic (yet...), but a big one that I have is one that starts vaguely in current day, where John and Taylor keep coming back to each other throughout her twenties, and are just sort of toxic for each other, but can’t stay away (I’ll be elaborating on this). The Last Time really highlights that kind of relationship to me. And I do honestly believe that this is what 2010 was like for her.
This is probably a head-scratcher. So, *another* fanfic idea I have for them is the idea of that hiatus John took in 2011(ish) when he just dropped off the public radar. I think Taylor and all the attention from Dear John really did a number on him (I don’t think, I know it did, he’s spoken about it...about the song anyway). He really did have to deal with his broken heart, and it took a long time. The line that breaks my heart in this song is For once in his life, it was quiet. He needed time with himself to get to know John away from all the lights and craziness he’d been living, and this young girl was a little too technicolor and manic for him. I have this idea of John and Taylor as an Unstoppable Force (T) and Immovable Object (J) in 2009-10 but they will eventually learn to meet in the middle. I do think John is on his way to becoming that person.
This one probably doesn’t need too much of an explanation. But while the lyrics and song itself really lends itself to the relationship that they seem to have had (then you came crashing in like the realest thing), I also believe that he wrote this song specifically to be with her. He made this big deal at the time, that he’d never had a featured artist on any of his studio album cuts before, and he was proud that it was her, and so excited to work with her.
But truly, she doesn’t sing at all in this song, save one line, a couple of ooh’s and more or less back-up. Thinking back on this song, and all these years later, it really does sound like a warning to her, and an admission to himself. (I can’t stop loving you.)
In that Songwriters’ Hall of Fame clip, he talks about them being a pair of black swans. He basically calls her his soulmate. (Yes he does. Yes he DOES.)
I think this one was pretty clearly about John. Some people say it was Joe Jonas, but there was a time where I did nothing but compare different interviews and collect little hints she dropped about her songs, and she specifically referenced a guy not returning her calls and acting like he just dropped out of her life, which is what I think happened when John went on the road in early 2010.
This was written YEARS before John ever knew of Taylor, and I’m fairly certain it might have actually been written for Jennifer Love Hewitt (which is strange to think about), but going back to The Last Time, I think it just really speaks to the push-and-pull, can’t stay together/can’t stay away that they had (have...will have again some day).
Once again, this was way before they ever met each other. And I think that John Rich actually wrote more of this song than Taylor did. But more than just the crazy, manic love she had(/has) for him, I feel like, at that age, Taylor thought that was what was ‘real’. So in love, that you acted insane. To contrast it with Who You Love, or Ours, or even Stay, Stay, Stay where everyone is just peacefully happy, it shows the difference from there to *where*.
Especially in this clip here! He really reasons it out for you. I’m tired of being alone, so hurry up and get here. To go back to the Black Swan allusion, that pretty much sums it up.
Okay, here’s where I’ll stop with the pre-cursors. But to me, a lot of their earlier songs really felt prophetic for them. Do I have to fall asleep with roses in my hand, it kind of calls forward to Do You Know Me? where he says a feather in your cap, a flower in your hair.
They’re not over in this song. She’s pleading with him to return, throwing out ultimatums, like she keeps promising to turn the car around, hoping he’ll stop her. And I love the story of this song, that it was written off of one very specific, confirmed event. They were seated in the same row during the CMA awards in 2010, and things were awkward and frosty. And then there was this:
Yeah, obviously this wasn’t written by John. But I remember hearing this at some point in late 2009, before anything was *official* and I was like, hee hee, this is probably what he sang to Taylor. Yeah. PROBABLY. Not to mention this is kind of the eternal Bad Boy/Ingenue Anthem of all time.
I know I said that was it with the back-in-the-days, but you all knew you were going down a rabbit hole with this post. To me, this song mirrors Taylor’s The Way I Loved You, where they are both idealizing their first love for different reasons. In Taylor’s world, it was manic and crazy, dizzying, and for John it was peaceful and lovely. That’s so damn sad to me.
Of course this list wouldn’t be complete without this one. It’s gotten the lion’s share of the press, but this one really completely blew me away the first time I heard it (and then again for the next hundred times I heard it). I know John’s called it ‘cheap songwriting’, but really, her despair is so honest here, even the scratchiness in her vocals. It’s definitely as close as Taylor Swift has ever gotten to singing the blues and if that’s not a tribute to him, than I don’t even know.
John is obviously more subtle about dropping hints for his song inspirations, but I think this one’s pretty clear. Call the press, say my life is a mess. It’s kind of a dig, but it’s delivered with this air of tired resignation (which kind of sums up the Born and Raised album- she really did put him through the ringer).
I mean, there’s that clip, for one, but also. Come on.
One of my big tipping off points, before I ever had anything concrete to go by. They were *very* connected before the Battle Studies album came out, lots of flitting in and out of each other’s lives, and at this point, there’s no denying how greatly they’ve changed each other. For better or worse, they were affected- she’s more jaded, a little bit more angry. He’s more humble, much more still.
This song was written for Jake Owen first in 2007. But it was updated for Speak Now, and if there was ever a lyric that described her intelligent naivete in those early days, it’s You’re the kind of reckless that should send me running but I kind of know that I won’t get far.
Many, many people think that this song was written for Jake Gyllenhaal. But the thing is, it came right after All Too Well on the album, which is undisputedly a Jake Gyllenhaal song (even I know that, and it’s actually my favorite cut on Red), and when she did press for ATW she said that she absolutely had to put *everything* in that song. So, if she put everything into that song, the next wistful ballad had to be for a different reason. There’s a line in Dear John- I stopped picking up and this song is to let you know why, and that line says that when they did end, it was on Taylor. She did the ending, but it was on her to struggle with it afterwards.
And for that matter...
And enough said there.
Paper Doll got tagged as the ‘Taylor song’ (haha, like there’s only one), but this song is so, so sad, even with the upbeat, old school country guitar. He let her down, which made her ‘someone’ (made her grown up, made her tough). But then she *really* let him down (by letting out his secrets, by calling him out for the world to hear), and that was a loop he never saw coming.
*Wow. I’ll have you know I’ve been writing this for two days at this point. I meant to keep this to, like, three each. I should have just answered ALL OF THEM and saved us all the trouble.
I have to end it with this. Just because. Because they were beautiful at one point in time.
<<<333