Fic: The Circle

[lennelle]

Title: The Circle
Summary: Sam attends support group.
Word Count: 1348
Author's Note: Set post episode 11x14 'The Vessel'. Mentions of rape and sexual assault.

Comments

[lennelle]

I just wish they'd acknowledge what Lucifer did to Sam on the show a little more (although there have been mentions of it in recent eps), which is mostly what led me to writing this. I can't imagine Sam or Dean seeking the help they might need, too busy pretending they're fine. Also, the fact that Sam is the only one who knows what happened to him in the cage is so painful, even Dean opened up about his time in Hell.
*bitter!Samgirl intensifies*
Thank you so much for commenting <3

[lennelle]

Sam is very good at listening to other people and getting them to open up, he's so empathetic, but he rarely talks about his own feelings. He's Sam 'I'm fine' Winchester.
I think you're right that Sam can't talk about the cage. He was there for one hundred and eighty years, in a part of hell no other human soul has touched (except Adam), and he was trapped with 2 pissed of archangels, and he teared up and struggled to speak when he talked to Sully about it in s11.
I wonder also if Dean doesn't really want to know about it because he can guess just how horrifying it might have been, since he's also been to hell, maybe he just doesn't want to even think about what happened to his brother in the cage.
Also, Winchesters aren't really into talking about their feelings.
There have been a few mentions of Sam being Lucifer's vessel this season, and even a mention of his psychic powers, so I do think the writers are setting something up. We'll have to wait and see.

[goldpandicorn]

This.
God.
I nearly teared up reading this beautiful piece of writing. I've always thought that Sam had been through something like that, something like rape, something so ugly and so cruel that he'll never get past it.
And Lucifer was always doing so many implied rape comments, it is totally logic to consider this possibility here.

You are amazing, as always.

[lennelle]

Thank you so very much!
I've always believed that Sam was raped in the cage, based on the horrific implications hallucifer made. Writers never write something without a purpose, every word is carefully chosen, the show's writers wrote hallucifer's dialogue like that for a reason. We never have had absolute confirmation of this, and I don't think we ever will because Sam rarely ever admits to his own pain.
There's been a lot more mentioning of Sam's time as Lucifer's vessel in s12, and I'm hoping this means they'll explore his trauma from that more than they did in s11.
Anyway, sorry for such a long reply and thanks again for leaving such a lovely comment :)

[alyndra]

I loved this. Sam's fish-out-of-water awkwardness was so visceral, and I love that even though he made a good try at getting through this, he still had to leave partway through and it's still unresolved feelings all buried inside him. 💔

[lennelle]

Thank you very much for commenting, and for commenting on my other stories :)