Big Bang Fic pt 1. Here we go...

[leighleighla]

Title: Rumored to the Straight and Narrow
Author: LeighLeighla
Fandoms: Supernatural/Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13ish for stuff
Word Count: 23,326
Spoilers: Supernatural So Far, Doctor Who up to Journey's End
Timeline: Doctor Who: About 30 years into the future in Pete's World. Supernatural: a few months after the apocalypse ends
Summary: After the Apocalypse, Dean Winchester attempts to put his life back together, which includes accompanying his new girlfriend to her grandparents' house for Christmas. While Miranda Tyler's grandparents, parents and two older brothers seem harmlessly eccentric, it seems Dean is in for a couple of surprises. Sadly, not of the naked kind.
A/N: Enormous thanks go to Principia_coh for being my ever-patient beta, davincis_girl for being my fabulous artist and cheerleader, and dettiot for being convinced I could finish this thing.

Part 1 Under the Cut:






Dean Winchester woke up in a cold sweat, shaking and looking around frantically.

"Sam?!" he called. "Sam?!"

God knew how many nights in a row he'd done this; woken up calling out his little brother's name and got no answer. Not from his brother at least.

"Ssshhh," a soothing voice said gently. Slender arms wrapped around Dean's shoulders.

He took three deep, trembling breaths with his eyes closed before opening them again and looking down at the woman next to him. "Sorry," he muttered as he pulled away. "I'm sorry." He shoved a hand through his short hair, scratching at it as he got to his feet. He backed away and made his way to the bathroom.

He'd arrived at this tiny apartment just outside of Wichita three months prior, when everything had finally ended. He'd killed Lucifer and all that Apocalypse crap had finally ended.

But it had been with mostly a whimper instead of a bang.

Sam was dead.

Sammy was dead.

His little brother who he'd protected with everything he had- the little brother whose well-being he'd always placed so highly above his own- had died by Lucifer's hand because Dean had hesitated.

He had stopped, and Sam had paid the price.

"This was always going to happen," the angel Zachariah had said. "Sam was always going to die and you were always going to kill The Morningstar."

He stared at himself in the mirror, hands gripping the porcelain sink in front of him. He looked crappy, but not as bad as he had when he'd first shown up here. Yes, his eyes were bloodshot and his skin a little pale, but he was looking more like himself day by day.

And that was thanks to the woman standing behind him in the doorway.

Miranda Tyler was a short, thin (almost too-thin) woman of just around Dean's age with long red hair, and big, knowing brown eyes. Her nose was a little long, and her lips were full and wide. She had a very slight overbite that made her smiles look a little on the toothy side, but it was more endearing than anything else.

She wasn't his usual type of woman, but maybe that was why he was attracted to her, because she was different. Miranda was shy, and this could take the form of anything from complete silence to a stammering ramble that made her blush from embarrassment before she ever finished it. It was pretty damn cute.

What was a little less cute and bordered on the scary was how smart she was, how much she seemed to know about just about everything.

This, Dean supposed, was because of the whole half-alien thing.

Yeah, weird, but kinda hot in a "check me out, I'm sleeping with a chick from outer space!" kind of way. Except for the part where she wasn't from outer space. Her dad was from outer space. She was from England.

England! He was dating an English chick!

He was dating period!

He had to grin a little at her in the mirror. "Sorry I woke you."

Miranda shook her head. "A'right?"

"Yeah," he said shortly. "Yeah, just...the Apocalypse kicked my ass and now I get shitty nightmares."

She took the few steps into the bathroom to move just behind him and started rubbing his shoulder. "Want anything? Cuppa?"

"What is it with you and tea?"

"It," she said as she kissed his shoulder, "is good for the synapses."

"Whatever the hell that means."

Miranda chuckled and rested her chin on his shoulder. "You know, it's almost Christmas."

He tensed slightly, a thousand images going through his head: Santas with bongs, and faking the words to Silent Night, endless snowy nights wondering if Dad would ever show up and stealing presents from other people's houses. Skin mags and shaving cream and candy bars and Pagan gods dressed in festive sweaters...

"Dean...?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I know it's almost Christmas."

"And...and...you know...people, they go places on Christmas," she said, her voice colored with a bit of nervousness. "They...they go...to places. With people and they do Christmas-type...things, and-"

"Babe," he said affectionately, grinning.

"I'm going to my grandparents house and I want you to come with me," she said, getting the words out as fast as her mouth would let her.

His grin faded and he stared at her reflection for a moment before turning around to face her. "You want me..."

"To meet my family."

"Your family."

She nodded.

"The alien family."

"It's only my Dad and technically it's only his brain that's alien, the rest of him is almost completely human."

Dean squeezed his eyes shut, then opened them again and shook his head. "I don't wanna have that conversation again."

"Me neither," Miranda replied. "Especially the part where you drank too much while I was trying to explain."

He gave her a sheepish look. "Sorry."

"So?"

Dean opened his mouth and then closed it again. He'd never done shit like this, meeting some girl's family. Never spent Christmas with anyone other than...

But Miranda looked hopeful and nervous at the same time.

Ah, hell. First time for everything. He was starting to love the crap out of her anyways, and how bad could it be? It's not like he had anywhere else to be. Bobby already told him he was leaving town for the Bahamas for the holidays.

Lucky bastard.

Dean took a deep breath and nodded. "Okay."

Her eyes widened, shocked. "Really?"

"Really."

"I...really?" she asked, smiling a little, eyes squinting a bit.

"Yes! Really!"

She stood there, smiling widely as if she might explode before flinging her arms around him.

He hugged her back and looked up at the white ceiling, wondering what he'd just gotten himself into.

*****

Packing his clothes wasn't hard. He was pretty much still living out of the car, so all of his clothing was in a duffle, and Miranda's washer and dryer came in very handy for keeping everything clean. He even washed the actual duffle, and he had to admit, having a clean bag for once was kinda awesome.

Other obstacles were in his way, though. The first and most immediate one being buying gifts. He had the distinct feeling that going to the mini-mart down the road wasn't going to cut it.

He was going to have to find something nice for Miranda. Not only because he thought she deserved it, but because her entire family would more than likely get a glimpse of whatever it was he got her, and if it wasn't something she loved, then someone was going to kill him.

The other, less alarming obstacle came in the form of choice.

How much heat should he pack for Christmas at his girlfriend's grandparents' house? He'd be damned if he left everything behind. No way was he walking into a new place feeling that naked.

Dean sighed heavily and pulled his cell phone out. Miranda was in the shower, and Dean made sure that the water was still going strong before pressing the speed dial for Bobby's place.

"Yeah?" Bobby Singer grunted down the phone line.

"Hey, Bobby."

"Everything okay?"

Dean nodded. "Yeah...yeah. I'm at Miranda's."

"Kinda figured. You two left the bedroom since you showed up?"

"Not so much, but we'll be getting outta here pretty soon."

"Yeah? Got holiday plans?"

"Her family."

Bobby paused for a second. "Don't her family live in England?"

Dean frowned. "Yeah..."

"Don't you gotta fly to get there, ya idjit? Unless you was planning to take the Queen Whatever? Which would get you there in just about enough time to miss the day completely?"

Cold fear swept through Dean's chest and belly and swallowed, trying to push it down.

"Didn't occur to ya, did it?"

"No," Dean's voice cracked. "No it didn't, but I didn't call to ask you to say something that would make me wet myself."

"You did what?!"

"No!" Dean snapped. "I...I need advice."

"Uh-oh," Bobby said playfully.

Dean sighed. "I need to figure out a Christmas gift for Miranda..."

"And skin mags ain't somethin' she'd take kindly to, I'm guessin," Bobby finished.

Dean smiled sadly. "Exactly. Come on, Bobby. You know way more about this stuff than me."

Bobby sighed heavily. "She's a girl, Dean, figure it out."

Dean frowned and thought for a long moment, scratching at his hair.

Bobby groaned. "Dean. Girls like girl things. Remember?"

Still, Dean thought without replying.

"Jewelry? Flowers? Ringin' any bells?"

"Yeah but...she's all brainy," Dean replied. "She might like different stuff."

"Then what're you askin' my advice for?"

"Hey-" Dean said, changing the subject. "How much ammo should I pack? How many pieces?"

"You're goin' on a plane, genius!" Bobby cried. "You show up at the airport with a load of firearms you're gonna get thrown in jail! Again!"

Dean frowned. "Shit."

"Sam really was the brains of the operation, wasn't he?" Bobby marveled.

"Hey!" He was about to protest louder, when he heard the water in the bathroom shut off. "Crap. Gotta go."

Bobby sighed. "Take care of yourself, ya idjit."

"I hope you get sunburned to hell," Dean snapped playfully. "Bye." He snapped his cell phone shut and turned as Miranda poked her head out of the bedroom and into the living room, her hair wet and dripping.

"A'right?" she asked.

"Yeah! Yeah. Just...what airline are we takin? I mean...to get to your family's place?"

"Oh, no airline," she replied conversationally. "Granddad's pickin' us up in his zeppelin at the airfield."

Dean's eyes nearly fell out of his head. "Zeppelin?" Only the really wealthy rode in zeppelins, and only the filthy, stinking rich owned them.

Miranda nodded. "Yeah. Tomorrow afternoon."

He gave a nervous smile. "O-okay."

She frowned. "Dean?"

"I'm good!" he replied. "Hey- if we're flying all private-like...does that mean I could bring a couple pieces with me?"

"Pieces of what?"

Dean huffed. "Pieces...you know...guns. Weapons. Maybe a machete?"

Miranda frowned. "What d'you wanna do that for?"

"I'm a hunter, Babe," he replied, giving an exasperated smile. "Precaution, partially, but mostly out of your average everyday paranoia."

She gave a grin and walked in, holding her towel to her chest. She kissed him briefly and then tweaked his nose. "I'll give my Granddad a ring, an' see what he says."

Dean grinned back. "I'm grateful." He wrapped his arms around her as his grin widened.

"Is that so?"

He nodded, and started to pull at her towel. "Wanna see just how grateful?"

"I would love to," Miranda replied, but danced away. "Love to, love to, love to, but I have to go into work for a few hours."

"No, you don't," Dean replied.

"What?" She gave a small laugh. "Yes, I do."

He gave an exaggerated pout, and Miranda giggled a little before gently pushing him away, before heading back into the bedroom to get dressed.

Dean sighed and flopped down onto the couch, looking around the small, cozy apartment. Mostly it was filled with Miranda's things. Not a big shocker, all things considered. His mind wandered slightly to getting things that left his own mark; that said "Dean lives here too!" other than the occasional cassette tape or emergency hunting knife left around.

He blinked and shook the cobwebs out of head, a little terrified and a little excited at the thought of living somewhere. Really living somewhere.

Oh, if Sam could see him now.

He sighed and rubbed his face before dragging himself to his feet. "Gonna make breakfast!"

"Don't have time for it!" Miranda called.

"Yes you do!"

"I have to-"

"Eat before you go, or else you won't eat until you get home, and that sucks, so you're eating what I make!" Dean called back evenly.

He heard a soft sigh of resignation. "Fine."

He smirked and headed for the kitchen. He pulled out a couple pans to start making bacon and eggs, though mostly eggs, because he knew she wouldn't eat much of the bacon ("It's...greasy! It makes my stomach hurt!"). More for him. He pulled out a couple of paper plates and set them aside.

Miranda had had real plates until they'd all been broken, which was which was completely Dean's fault. That was to say he got pissed off one night that Sam had had the audacity to die on him and slammed every single plate in the house to the floor.

Miranda whizzed into the kitchen and started making tea, and then began setting up the coffee up for Dean. "I only need a couple hours at the office. Should be home by 1."

Dean nodded as he pushed the eggs around the sizzling frying pan. One gave him a couple of hours to go into town and figure out some Christmas gifts. "How pissed off at me would you be if I headed up to Bobby's before we left?"

She frowned. "We're leaving tomorrow afternoon. That's over eight hours each way, you'll be knackered."

"Done farther and still hunted something the same day, I'm used to it."

Miranda bit her lip.

"Babe, come on, I wanna drop off his and Cas's stuff before they leave."

She gave him a quizzical look. "Where do rogue angels go for Christmas?"

"The Bahamas, I guess," Dean shrugged. "Bobby's takin' him along, as far as I know." He began dumping eggs onto plates, trying not to laugh at the mental image of Castiel, angel of the Lord, still wearing his suit and coat, amongst the beach bunnies and girly drinks with umbrellas in them on a busy beach.

Miranda must have been picturing the same thing, because she let out a small giggle. They smiled at each other for a moment, before Miranda took a deep breath. "Oh, alright, go on then, but don't be late comin' back, yeah?"

He leaned over and kissed her before handing her her breakfast. "Promise."

*************

The only thing Dean could think to get Bobby was a new trucker hat. He thought about getting Cas a puppy but with the amount of work that goes into training a dog, and the fact that they were going out of town, it didn't seem like the greatest idea.

So for Castiel, he picked up the first season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Everyone should know their Buffy, and it was time for Cas to get started.

He was on his way out of the Best Buy with Castiel's gift, when he passed a display of shiny new laptop computers. He stared at them for a long moment.

"Can I help you with anything?" a perky voice inquired.

He looked up at a young woman with big blue eyes, her brown hair in a ponytail, a smile on her pudgy face.

"Uh...I was just looking," Dean fumbled.

"Laptops are really great. Very useful. But you know, netbooks are way cheaper, and just as useful if you're looking for something to travel with."

Sam had talked about trading down to a netbook, Dean remembered. But he hadn't really known what one was, so he just let Sammy go on without thinking too much about it.

"My brother..." Dean said quietly. "He uh...he had a laptop but it kinda got broken." He wasn't about to explain that Sam's laptop had been run over when Meg had stolen the Impala that one time. Demon bitch.

"Oh, that's too bad," the saleswoman said sympathetically. "You know a netbook might make a good Christmas present."

Dean swallowed a little. "Well I-"

"Would you like to take a look at them?"

Dean found himself blinking and nodding as the saleswoman led him to a nearby counter, continuing her patter all the way.

*************

Dean eventually found a couple of nice things for Miranda; a necklace and a couple of hardcover omnibuses that he hoped she would like. Once that was taken care of he drove like a bat out of hell towards Bobby's.

Dean sauntered up to the older hunter’s door and pounded on it. Bobby wrenched open the door, looking none too pleased, until he saw who was his visitor.

"What the hell are you doin' here, boy?" Bobby asked, half annoyed, half-amused. "Ain't you supposed to be gettin' ready to go to Jolly Old England?"

"I'm trying not to think about it," Dean replied. "It helps me to not throw up." He held out the hat. "Merry Christmas, Bobby."

Bobby rolled his eyes and took the hat. "Thanks." He let Dean in, who was carrying a conspicuous yellow bag.

"What the hell is all that?" Bobby asked.

"I got something for Cas." Dean set the bag down on the desk in the cluttered, dusty living room. "CAS!"

"Why do you insist on yelling?" Castiel asked from behind them.

Dean jumped and turned around. "Why do you always do that?"

"It's somewhat humorous to see you frightened," Castiel replied.

"I got you a Christmas present," Dean said, ignoring his last comment. He pulled out the Buffy DVDs, and handed them over.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer," Castiel read. He looked worriedly at Dean and Bobby.

"It's not porn, I promise!" Dean cried.

Castiel looked to Bobby for confirmation and he nodded, but not without a chuckle.

"So what else is in the bag?" Bobby asked.

Dean rocked on his heels. "Nothin'. "

"Liar," Bobby muttered. He snatched the bag, and looked inside, before looking up at Dean sympathetically.

Dean shrugged. "They were on sale...and...and...and..."

"And Meg ran over the laptop."

"Yeah but this is tinier than a laptop," Dean said. He tried for a smile. "Could you imagine the enormous freak trying to type on this teeny tiny little thing? It'd be like watching a T-rex trying to use chopsticks."

Bobby clasped his shoulder firmly. He'd once told Dean to do whatever it took to keep going.

Castiel watched them, holding his box set. "Thank you for the gift, Dean."

Dean nodded. "Yeah, Cas, no problem." He tried for a smile again. "I should get goin'...You guys probably still have packing to do and I promised Miranda I'd be back in time to leave tomorrow."

"I'm makin' chili," Bobby told him. "And there's pie."

Dean dropped his head, half in resignation, and half in amusement and nodded. "I guess I could stay for dinner."

******

Dinner came and went, with Castiel examining every bite of his food (this was normal) and Dean eating only half his portion (that wasn't). Bobby stared at them both, and Dean knew he was watching for all the little ways he'd changed since the apocalypse had ended, while being, amused as always by Castiel's fascination with just about everything ever.

Dean stretched after finishing the small piece of pie he'd taken. "I should get goin. We leave tomorrow, and if I don't get back before daybreak, Miranda's gonna be pissed."

"She don't seem the type to get angry," Bobby replied wryly.

"She's not," Dean replied. "Not in the ways you and me get angry. No, she'll tell you everything is fine, give you the silent treatment, and the next thing you know there aren't any pillows on your side of the bed."

Bobby blinked and then shook his head. "You know I always imagined you goin' after some brainless bimbo after what happened."

"Smart chicks are better at sex," Dean replied as he got to his feet. "Dumb girls, they just lie there. Brainy chicks actually know how to participate."

Bobby blinked, and then picked up the pepper shaker from the table and threw it at Dean. "Get out of my house."

"See ya," Dean caught it easily with a small grin. He put it down and then started heading for the door.

Castiel got to his feet at that point, and followed Dean toward the door.

"Dean..."

"Yeah?"

"Are..." Castiel looked as if he wanted to put his hands into his pockets or fold his arms across his chest, but the movements were too human for him, so he settled on fidgeting like some kind of robot with a blown fuse. "Are you angry with me?"

Dean glanced back at him and shook his head. "No. No, I'm not angry with you, Cas."

Castiel nodded. "I am sorry."

Dean took a deep breath as he turned to face Castiel. "Don't be sorry. You saved my ass from the pit. Again."

"I meant about Sam."

Dean looked down.

"The computer you bought...that was for him, wasn't it?"

Dean swallowed. "Yeah. I guess it was. I mean...it's not like I can give it to him. But it didn't seem right, finally buyin' Christmas gifts for real and not gettin' one for him. You know?"

"No."

Dean smiled thinly. "Yeah, I didn't think so."

Castiel looked him straight in the eyes in that unnerving way the angel never seemed to realize was unnerving. "Will I see you upon my return from the Bahamas?"

Dean tried not to laugh at that; Castiel talking about going to the Bahamas as if he were going on a mission there. "Sure, I'll come visit."

Castiel seemed satisfied and then turned around and walked back into the kitchen.

Dean let out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding and let himself out.

*********

2 Months Prior...

The crossroads demon shuddered and screamed as Castiel gripped her forehead tight, concentrating hard.

Dean couldn't even look. Never mind the fact that his vision was blurry; his mind hazy from all the whiskey he'd guzzled down. This was something Sam used to be able to do.

When it was over, and the woman who had been possessed was left unconscious on the ground, the angel turned to Dean.

"What the hell, Cas?!"

"You were about to try and make a deal with that demon and I could not allow that," Castiel replied, his voice colored with frustration and anger. "I could not let you make the same mistake again."

"It's my god-damn life!" Dean snarled. "It's Sam's god-damn life!"

"Sam does not have a life anymore," Castiel said. "Sam is dead. He died a hero. He is in a better place."

Dean found himself laughing uncontrollably, stumbling and holding his belly. "'A better place.' That...that is such a load of shit, Cas! There IS no better place! There never was! It's all lies! Even...even Tessa said it was all lies!"

Castiel shook his head. "I will not allow you to throw your life away for your brother's. You have a different path to take now."

"Ooh, a path. I'm so lucky!" Dean stumbled and threw his arms out. "YOU HEAR THAT, SAMMY?! I GOT A PATH! AIN'T THAT SO DAMN EXCITING?!" He tried to keep a smile up but it faltered, as did his legs from under him. He dropped to his knees, stirring up some of the dirt at the crossroad. He slumped down, hands clutching at the gravel around him.

Slowly, Castiel walked to stand beside him, reaching a hand to his shoulder.

"Touch me, and so help me, I will end you," Dean slurred out.

That didn't scare Castiel. He gripped Dean's shoulder, and when Dean blinked, he was lying haphazardly across the couch in Miranda's apartment, the sounds of her cleaning up broken plates in the other room grating on his state of mind.

************

It was around three in the morning when Dean tiptoed into the bedroom. He slipped his boots off quietly, and then shucked his jacket, over shirt and jeans, sliding into bed in just a t-shirt and his underpants.

He felt Miranda shift and curl up against him, huffing in her sleep, and it made him grin a little. For the moment, this hot second, he was glad he was still here to be curled up against.

Which managed to make him feel gut-wrenchingly guilty.

He lay there, motionless, and knew he wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight.

He felt Miranda shift again and slide closer as her arm wrapped around him.

"Hi," she said, her voice thick with sleep.

"Hey," he replied. "Sorry I'm so late."

"Nuh, figured you would be," Miranda muttered. Her eyes opened a little. "Good time with Bobby and Cas?"

He nodded. "Yeah, it was fine. Gave 'em their gifts and stuck around for chili and pie."

"Did they like their presents?"

"Hope so," Dean said. "I got you presents, too, y'know."

She smiled, her eyes closing again. "Bet they're nice presents. I go' yours ages ago."

"Yeah? Whadja get me?"

"A chicken you can teach to cross the road," Miranda replied.

"Liar."

"Pot. Kettle."

"Yeah." He slid closer still, pulling her into his arms. "But...y'know. Not about important crap."

"I know."

He watched her for a moment and then leaned in, kissing her softly and slowly. Her arms wound around him and she half-heartedly kissed him back, clearly falling back into sleep.

"You're not gonna wake up to play, are you?" he asked.

She grimaced. "You wanna shag now?"

"Well, I wanna shag you all the time," he replied. "But I can wait til the sun comes up."

"We have to leave in..." she rolled over a little and checked the digital clock on the bedside table. "Six hours."

"Awesome, that gives us an extra hour of shag time."

"Don't say shag," she replied. She flopped back onto the bed, her splayed out on the lemon yellow pillowcase. "S'weird when you say it."

He chuckled. "Why's that?"

"Cause you sound like a cowboy," Miranda replied. "Cowboys don't say shag."

"Well, if you say so, little lady," Dean started, in his best John Wayne impression.

She let out an airy, sleepy laugh.

He gazed at her fondly. "Hey."

"Hello."

He squinted, and wrapped an arm around her. "Hey."

"You said that, and I said hello."

"I didn't say hey to say hello, I said hey to get your attention."

She frowned. "Oh."

Dean gave a nod. "Hey."

"Yes?"

Dean opened his mouth, and then closed it. He kissed her briefly and then brushed his nose against hers. "G'night."

"Mhm..."

He held her tightly as he felt her drift back to sleep.