This is the conversation Mom and I just had, after Apollo Ohno won Dancing with the Stars.
Me: You know, he really is pretty. Can I have him?
Mom:
Me: No?
Mom:
Me: Mom! Don't you want Apollo?
Mom: What would I do with him?
Me: Sex! Make him stand in the corner in tight pants and no shirt! You could make him dance! Dance monkey, dance! What wouldn't you do
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