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You guys wanna talk about some Golden Globe fashion? Let's talk about some Golden Globes fashion. (I actually started this post yesterday, but didn't get to finish it until today because I had real work to do at work. Go figure.)
This was, somehow, the most boring Golden Globes ever. Despite the Cosby and North Korea jokes, Andrew and I actually had to start playing a game during the show to stay awake.
But anyway, let's focus on the fashion. As usual, I'm not going to discuss every dress because 1. That's what The Fug Girls are for and 2. I'm sure you all have lives to get back to. But if you do want to look at everything anyone wore (and what they wore to the after party) may I direct you here?
These are in no order, and all pictures are from The Fug Girls.
Let's start out strong. This was, hands down, my absolute favorite look of the night:
Everything about this is perfect. It's so good that it makes me want to see more of her movies. And her breasts were 100% defying both gravity and physics.
Flawless.
I didn't see Katie Cassidy on my TV, but I did miss half the red carpet and I also miss Arrow, so let's discuss this:
It's not great. Not as bad as some stuff we'll see later, but there's a lot of skin and a lot of design and it looks like she needs more support. The Fug Girls said she's trying too hard, and I agree.
Maggie Gyllenhaal:
I don't like the color, the fabric, the boob darts, the seams, or how her hair looks with this. I don't think the short hair cut can't work for her, but it's definitely not working for her here. I really like Maggie, and I thought it was adoarble that she and Jake came together, so I want better for her.
Amy Adams:
The red heads were really rocking it Sunday night. Could this fit her any better?
Tina Fey:
I hate this. Why is the skirt so wide? What is with that seam in the middle? Why do people think that the swept back hair look is a good one? Plus, the shoes are on full display, and they're boring.
Tina Fey and amy Poehler:
I hate Tina's dress here too, though at least her hair looks better. It doesn't fit her well and that harsh black line across her middle is random and awkward. Amy, on the other hand, looks fabulous, though both the dress and hair are maybe a little too simple for the host of an awards show.
The only thing Tina wore all night that I liked, despite the fact that I kept getting distracted by the sequined bow tie. Amy's dress would be 1000% better without that butterfly thing in the middle.
Amy Poehler:
This would have been ok without the elastic waistband in the middle, which I'm sure was done to accomodate the pockets, both of which combine to make her look like she's with child. Not a good look.
Emma Stone:
I want to like this, I really do, because it's pants and they're really great pants, but I can't because of that bow... tail... ass-ribbon... thing... Why, Emma, why? You were doing so well before that!
Kerry Washington:
I like this and I don't care what anyone says. The shoe color confuses me, but I'm just going to choose to ignore that. I've never seen anything quite like this, and I mean that in the best possible way.
Melissa McCarthy:
I actually kind of like this, except for the Colonel Sanders bow tie, but that might just be because it's not a floral tent like what she usually wears. It's literally sewn together from two or three different dresses she already had in her closet, and possibly that's what's making me like it even more.
Claire Danes:
She was so exicted that this was covered in real feathers... Claire, honey, that doesn't make it good. It looks like a child's art project paired with bad illusion netting and hideous earrings.
Lupita Nyong'o:
I don't care for her hair or the top of this, but I do love the skirt and she looks so happy. Plus the purple is lovely, so overall it's not so bad.
Jennifer Lopez:
On the one hand, there's a lot going on here. On the other hand, if I were 45 and looked like this, I would probably flaunt my magnificent breasts and flawless legs too. Plus, watching her arrange herself before posing was like watching a master painter. She is her own work of art, and she's a professional at making it look good. Plus, there's a cape, and the simple hair and matching shoes balance the slightly overwhelming amount of dress and skin. Bottom line: I think she looks fabulous and this was probably my second favorite look of the night.
Kiera Knightley:
It's like the worst of 90's fashion (butterflies, shiny applique) meeting the worst of 70's fashion (eyelet lace, tiers of skirt) mixed with a clown collar and some kind of very unfortunate butterfly bracelet thing. She said that it took like, 30 people to make this, and all I can think is... How is that possible?
Look, I love Emily Blunt, and I really loved her in Into the Woods, but I don't like this very much:
I would like it a lot more if that triangle in the middle were filled in. I mean, it's not hideous, and I love the idea of the colored jewelry accents, but overall it just leaves me feeling like she could have done better.
Anna Kendrick:
Oh, I had forgotten about this dress! This was another one of my favorites. I feel like I could potentially get away with wearing this one in real life, if it were tailored a little to my shorter torso. Anyway, I love this, especially the color, and she looks fabulous in it.
Helen Mirren:
The Fug Girls' comment was "La Mirren is bangin' as usual," and they are, of course, correct. I want to be Helen Mirren when I grow up.
Joanne Froggatt:
I have never watched a single second of Downton Abbey, and I don't know who this woman is, but I love her dress and I love her hair even more. And I kind of love her last name.
Kate Hudson:
I would like this more if it didn't have those weird cutouts on the sides that make it look like her ribs are exposed. You can't deny that she is wearing the fuck out of it though. Her boobs don't look as nice as Chastain's, however, and her hair puts me to sleep, so A+ for Kate's body, C+ for the overall look.
Kate Beckinsale:
I think this may have acutally been at a GG party or something, but DAYM. Work, girl.
Taylor Swift:
Taylor, please be my friend. I usually think blonde people shouldn't wear yellow, but I'm wrong and you're right and I love you. <3
This was, somehow, the most boring Golden Globes ever. Despite the Cosby and North Korea jokes, Andrew and I actually had to start playing a game during the show to stay awake.
But anyway, let's focus on the fashion. As usual, I'm not going to discuss every dress because 1. That's what The Fug Girls are for and 2. I'm sure you all have lives to get back to. But if you do want to look at everything anyone wore (and what they wore to the after party) may I direct you here?
These are in no order, and all pictures are from The Fug Girls.
Let's start out strong. This was, hands down, my absolute favorite look of the night:
Everything about this is perfect. It's so good that it makes me want to see more of her movies. And her breasts were 100% defying both gravity and physics.
Flawless.
I didn't see Katie Cassidy on my TV, but I did miss half the red carpet and I also miss Arrow, so let's discuss this:
It's not great. Not as bad as some stuff we'll see later, but there's a lot of skin and a lot of design and it looks like she needs more support. The Fug Girls said she's trying too hard, and I agree.
Maggie Gyllenhaal:
I don't like the color, the fabric, the boob darts, the seams, or how her hair looks with this. I don't think the short hair cut can't work for her, but it's definitely not working for her here. I really like Maggie, and I thought it was adoarble that she and Jake came together, so I want better for her.
Amy Adams:
The red heads were really rocking it Sunday night. Could this fit her any better?
Tina Fey:
I hate this. Why is the skirt so wide? What is with that seam in the middle? Why do people think that the swept back hair look is a good one? Plus, the shoes are on full display, and they're boring.
Tina Fey and amy Poehler:
I hate Tina's dress here too, though at least her hair looks better. It doesn't fit her well and that harsh black line across her middle is random and awkward. Amy, on the other hand, looks fabulous, though both the dress and hair are maybe a little too simple for the host of an awards show.
The only thing Tina wore all night that I liked, despite the fact that I kept getting distracted by the sequined bow tie. Amy's dress would be 1000% better without that butterfly thing in the middle.
Amy Poehler:
This would have been ok without the elastic waistband in the middle, which I'm sure was done to accomodate the pockets, both of which combine to make her look like she's with child. Not a good look.
Emma Stone:
I want to like this, I really do, because it's pants and they're really great pants, but I can't because of that bow... tail... ass-ribbon... thing... Why, Emma, why? You were doing so well before that!
Kerry Washington:
I like this and I don't care what anyone says. The shoe color confuses me, but I'm just going to choose to ignore that. I've never seen anything quite like this, and I mean that in the best possible way.
Melissa McCarthy:
I actually kind of like this, except for the Colonel Sanders bow tie, but that might just be because it's not a floral tent like what she usually wears. It's literally sewn together from two or three different dresses she already had in her closet, and possibly that's what's making me like it even more.
Claire Danes:
She was so exicted that this was covered in real feathers... Claire, honey, that doesn't make it good. It looks like a child's art project paired with bad illusion netting and hideous earrings.
Lupita Nyong'o:
I don't care for her hair or the top of this, but I do love the skirt and she looks so happy. Plus the purple is lovely, so overall it's not so bad.
Jennifer Lopez:
On the one hand, there's a lot going on here. On the other hand, if I were 45 and looked like this, I would probably flaunt my magnificent breasts and flawless legs too. Plus, watching her arrange herself before posing was like watching a master painter. She is her own work of art, and she's a professional at making it look good. Plus, there's a cape, and the simple hair and matching shoes balance the slightly overwhelming amount of dress and skin. Bottom line: I think she looks fabulous and this was probably my second favorite look of the night.
Kiera Knightley:
It's like the worst of 90's fashion (butterflies, shiny applique) meeting the worst of 70's fashion (eyelet lace, tiers of skirt) mixed with a clown collar and some kind of very unfortunate butterfly bracelet thing. She said that it took like, 30 people to make this, and all I can think is... How is that possible?
Look, I love Emily Blunt, and I really loved her in Into the Woods, but I don't like this very much:
I would like it a lot more if that triangle in the middle were filled in. I mean, it's not hideous, and I love the idea of the colored jewelry accents, but overall it just leaves me feeling like she could have done better.
Anna Kendrick:
Oh, I had forgotten about this dress! This was another one of my favorites. I feel like I could potentially get away with wearing this one in real life, if it were tailored a little to my shorter torso. Anyway, I love this, especially the color, and she looks fabulous in it.
Helen Mirren:
The Fug Girls' comment was "La Mirren is bangin' as usual," and they are, of course, correct. I want to be Helen Mirren when I grow up.
Joanne Froggatt:
I have never watched a single second of Downton Abbey, and I don't know who this woman is, but I love her dress and I love her hair even more. And I kind of love her last name.
Kate Hudson:
I would like this more if it didn't have those weird cutouts on the sides that make it look like her ribs are exposed. You can't deny that she is wearing the fuck out of it though. Her boobs don't look as nice as Chastain's, however, and her hair puts me to sleep, so A+ for Kate's body, C+ for the overall look.
Kate Beckinsale:
I think this may have acutally been at a GG party or something, but DAYM. Work, girl.
Taylor Swift:
Taylor, please be my friend. I usually think blonde people shouldn't wear yellow, but I'm wrong and you're right and I love you. <3