Couples 12/15
Since some of you can't wait for the next chapter, here it is. Only 3 more left after this one, but I decided to write a Sequel around Christmas time. Thx to the few who took their time to review. It's really appreciated, even more if it's creative criticism.
Summary: Follow three WWE couples on their way through fame, hard work, stress and the troubles of relationship.
Pairings: Cody/John, Randy/Jack, Stephen/Miz
Disclaimer: I own my crazyness, but nothing else... oh wait... I also own my muses... and all the mistakes in this story since it is unbeta'ed as always.
Warnings: Slash, Sex and Fluff
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10
Part 11
Randy had not been able to keep his promise this week; due to interviews, signings and a photo-shoot he had not been able to visit Jake. Though they had talked on the phone at least twice every day -once after Randy had gotten up, once before he had went to bed- it had done nothing to sooth Jake's worries.
Fuck the injury and his spot in the company, fuck the title, fuck not being able to see Randy for at least five days every week; what had worried him the most ever since he had heard the plop of his ankle was that Randy would go back to his old ways again. That now that he was not there with him, Randy would find another plaything to entertain him while being on tour.
He hated himself for those thoughts. God, he wanted to trust Randy, fully, 100 percent, he really wanted to. However, Randy's past and the rocky start of their relationship were something he could not just push aside.
In addition, with Adam on the Raw roster… what if they were hooking up again? Just the mere thought of Randy with another man, no matter whom it was, made him break out in sweat -and the thought of Adam of all people… it made him want to vomit. Why was it so hard to just trust Randy?
After all, Randy had been the one to say "I love you." first, not him. He had been the one coping with his fits and with his tantrums the past weeks, whenever he got jealous, or scared, or when he had freaked out over his injury… Randy had been there all the time, taking care of him, soothing him, loving him.
And still, Jake had the feeling that Randy might take the chance -away from him, from his clawing, his fits, his desperateness- to find someone better. Hold on… maybe he was not afraid of Randy looking for another guy; maybe he was just afraid that he was not good enough for Randy? Did that make any sense? Maybe he was trusting Randy, but not confident enough in himself?
Why would a man like Randy stay with him anyways? He had nothing to offer. He was sure; Randy must have had better guys in bed so far. He was even sure that Randy was used to getting more attention. Was sure that Randy had been taken care of a lot better. He was sure that Randy could have had anyone he wanted, would just need to snap with his finger and someone much better than him would be there to take his place.
It drove him almost insane. The silence in his house, nothing to do for the whole past week, nowhere to go, it was driving him nuts. He had to do something, had to get out of the house, find a hobby he could practice with that fucking sprained ankle, he needed to… maybe he needed to talk to Randy? That was if he ever came back.
He should have told him his worries when Randy had left, before he had left, but he had been sure that Randy would laugh at him for it. Either that he would have laughed at the ridiculous fear or he would have been disappointed in Jake not trusting him. Then again, who said that Randy would even care enough about his fear to take it serious?
Besides this, were had been the point after such a night of tender, gentle, almost agonizingly slow, passionate love-making that night before Randy had left? He would have only ruined the whole bliss, might even have ruined whatever it was they had. Did he just sound like a whiny, insecure baby? Well… maybe he was. After all, he loved Randy with all his heart, with everything he had and it scared him to death, seeing since this had been the first time ever he had felt something that deep, that intense for anyone, especially a man.
More than three weeks, seriously, more than three weeks it had been since John and Cody had seen each other. More than three weeks since they had touched each other, kissed each other, made love to each other. Which did not mean that John did not have a lot of fun, god knew he had. However, it was driving him insane.
All those nights out, fucking random bitches, groupies, getting blown by girls he had just met at a local bar or club… it was nothing like Cody and still, he could not stop it. His needs had taken over, his drive for more, his animalistic desires. Not that he felt guilty. Not really, since in that stupid little brain of his, he was sure that Cody was doing exactly the same -just not with girls, but with men. After all, Cody had still some kind of reputation. In addition, he was there with Ted… Ted, the guy he had more or less turned gay, well… bisexual at least. Just like Cody had done with John. One hidden talent that kid had, huh?
John's POV
Excuse my ramblings, but I'm just watching the taped match Ted and Cody had had last week, against each other. Their hands all over each other. Their bodies working so well together. How can someone not see it? The passion, the lust, the desire when they're both together? How could I have been that blind?
Of course, they were fucking each other. Even a blind man -or woman- could see it. Those looks they were sending each other during that match, almost devouring each others with their eyes, almost undressing each others right there in the middle of that ring, in front of the cameras. And it had not been the first time.
I have watched tape after tape the past days, watched match after match where they had both participated, either as opponents or as partners, and each and every time I could see it, could sense it. Their love for each other. How could I really be that stupid to think that that little twink could ever love me if he was obviously after Ted? Wait; sorry… it's not the right time, nor place to call Cody a twink. After all he is a grown up man -kinky, yeah, but grown up- but seeing him performing like this, openly, almost fucking Ted right there in the ring, it's obviously he's cheating on me. So it's just fair that I'm doing the same to him, right?
I can't watch it anymore. It's making me sick. Cause I just can't look -it's killing me and taking control; jealousy turning saints into the sea.
Normal POV
He got up from his bed, turning off the recorder, throwing the remote away carelessly before raking a hand over his face. He needed to go out, get his mind off things, clear his head, and maybe find a ring-rat for the night again. Obviously, that was the only thing soothing his jealousy. And obviously, he did not even realize how much he had turned into the one person they had once hated for all he was worth: Mike.
Cody was on his way to Boston. His next appearance would be in two days and he sought his chance to finally visit his boyfriend again. After all, John had been right. It sucked that they had not seen each other for more than three weeks and even back then, they had not slept together, seeing that after their family-dinner, none of them had really been in the mood. And video-chats? Well… they were not exactly the best way of fulfilling your sexual needs. Not with Ted in the same room, especially.
It would only be a short visit, maybe only a day, seeing that it was already close to midnight when he arrived at the hotel. He had called Randy the day before to find out which hotel they were staying at, told him about his planned surprise, and even asked for some advice on how to do it best.
Now that he was standing in front of John's room -the clerk already knowing about his arrival since Randy had informed the front desk- he needed some re-assurance. Not that he was not sure about his surprise. He was more than certain, John would love it, seeing that all he had talked about on their chats the past weeks had been sex, sex and… well, you get the picture. Just… he was not so sure anymore if he even wanted it.
He had had a lot of time to think those past days, had had long talks with his friends, with Teil, with Paul, even with Ted and even though none of them knew a lot about his relationship, they had all told him the same thing: from what he had told them, John was just using him to play.
And still, Cody could not believe it. After all, John had taken care of him after that family-dinner had gone completely wrong, after all John had been the one to make their relationship public, not him, after all, John had even offered him to be his first back then.
Taking a deep breath, he build up some more confidence before sliding the card through the slit, fully unaware of what was about to hit him.
As he opened the door, he was met with darkness, but the noises he could hear were more than he needed to know what was happening in the room.
Loud gasps and moans, definitely belonging to someone female, mixed with throaty grunts and growls, the owner of the voice more than familiar to him and as he switched on the light next to the door, the world came finally crashing down on him.
He stared at them open-mouthed, wide-eyed, feeling his heart break into a million pieces: there, on the bed, his boyfriend lay on his back -naked as god had created him- hands firmly holding onto some blonds waist, his thick girth buried deep inside of her as her head was thrown back in ecstasy, John's eyes fixed on her pleased features.
As soon as the bright light made him realize the other person in the room, his hips stilled and his head snapped towards the door, eyes instantly widening as he spotted his lover -body shaking, eyes tearing up, lips trembling, fists clenched at his sides.
Before the girl knew what hit her, John had practically thrown her of his lap, scrambling his boxers from the floor in a haste, trying to reach the door before it was too late, but the moment he stopped in front of Cody, shorts barely covering anything of his sweaty frame, he was greeted with a hard slap right across his cheek, sending his head flying to the side.
Cody stormed out of the room again, John's calls staying ignored as he ran down the hallway and towards the stairs, almost flying down them, past several people, through the lobby, almost running into Randy.
The eldest had seen Cody storming towards him, seen the look in his eyes, the flushed cheeks, the tears, reaching out an arm to try and stop him, but with the power Cody had suddenly built inside of him, the rush he was in, Randy had no chance to stop him. Looking on as the young man left the hotel in a hurry, he blinked a few times -the reason to Cody's behaviour already dawning on him.
He was upstairs in less than three minutes, just in time to see the blond girl leaving John's room quickly, blouse not even half buttoned up yet, hair still a mess, John handing her the bright pink stilettos.
Not only wondered Randy how John could have cheated on Cody, but he also wondered where he had left his taste. THAT blond sure was not something HE would do.
He passed John without so much looking at him, walking straight into his room, waiting for the older man to follow and close the door. As soon as that had happened, Randy turned around, viper-like movements bringing him nose to nose with John in only mere seconds, snarling at him.
"WHAT THE FUCK, CENA?"
The older man slightly flinched, biting his upper lip as Randy's face grew red just by re-imagining that look on Cody's face a few minutes ago, the hurt, the pain, the sadness as he had brushed past him.
"You're a fucking idiot, John, you know that?"
The brunette did not even know how to respond, knowing damn well that he had screwed up, knowing damn well that no apology, no explanation would make up for it, knowing damn well that Randy was right. So where was the point in speaking?
"God, fuck John… how could you do this to Cody, huh? How could you betray him like that? Are your fucking needs so much more important than the love of this boy? He worships you, you idiot and you throw it all away just to get some sex, that I think was not even worth it by the looks of that chick."
He let him ramble on and on, neither knowing what to say nor really having anything to say as Randy talked himself more and more into rage, face flushed with anger, one hand tightly grasping John by his biceps -seeing that he was only dressed in boxers, with no shirt to pull at- veins on his forehead pulsing, eyes almost bulging out of their sockets.
"You're a sick moron, Cena… god… you are such a fucking moron. If it wasn't for Cody probably getting mad at me, I'd fucking cut your balls of right now. You idiot better try to fix this shit again. Call him! Do something before I really have to hurt you! NOW!"
He did not really have another choice than to pick up his phone from the nightstand, swallowing hard as he dialled Cody's number. Even a John Cena could get quite intimidated by a sulking, by a maddened Randy Orton, knowing damn well how less it took for Randy to truly snap and let all his rage out on him.
Keeping his eyes fixed on Randy, he listened to the phone ring, listened to the beep that signalled him that he had went to voicemail, sighing heavily as he tried to make some sense on the phone.
"Cody… please call me back, baby. I can… no, I can't explain, but please… just call me back. I'm sorry… I really am. Come on… just… call me."
Before he could say anything else, the phone beeped again, the mailbox kicking him off. Not daring to turn around to once again face Randy, he breached himself for the blow to come, but nothing ever happened.
"You make sure that the boy's alright, Cena… or else I'm gonna kick your head off in our next match!"
With that said, John could hear the door slam shut, flinching at the force of it, grip on his cell-phone tightening as he wet his lips, letting out a long sigh. He was more than just in trouble.
By the time Randy left, Cody had already been at the airport, checking in for the first flight to Philadelphia -the destination of their next houseshow. There was no use in flying back home first; it would only lead to stress, to even MORE stress. And he could not handle the loneliness of his own four walls, not now. In Phili, he would at least have some of his co-workers to distract him, he would have Teddy.
He had felt his phone vibrate during his ride to the airport, had actually even taken a look at the display, but had stuffed it back in his pocket as soon as he had read Johns name. Whatever apology, whatever pathetic excuse he had, Cody did not want to hear it.
While he was waiting for his flight to be called up, sitting in the almost empty airport -what else would you expect at midnight- the image of his boyfriend thrusting up into that dirty blond repeated itself in his mind over and over again. He could not grasp why this had happened, could not grasp why he had not seen it before, why John had cheated on him.
Thoughts were running through his head in lightning-speed: How long had John already cheated on him? Why? Why with a girl? Was it the first time? Had he not meant everything he had ever told Cody? Had he always lied to him?
"I fucking like you… I respect you… I AM NOT DAVE… I love you endlessly, darling don't you see?"
"Without you I'm no one… I'm nothing at all. I love you!"
"I know that I fucked up big time… I know it… but please give me another chance… one more… Give me one more chance tonight and I swear I'll make it right!"
"Miss to hold you, to kiss you, to tease you, to miss you. Miss to look at you, talk to you, play games with you, walk with you"
"It'll all be good.. I promise."
"It's not senseless, babe… just because they don't get it, does not mean we aren't meant to be."
Had all those words only been a façade? Had he lied to him the whole time? Why couldn't he just be happy for once in his life?
First, it had been Dave, then James… and he had been so sure that John was different from them, that he really loved him, that he would actually be the one. Even through everything they had gone through, even after all those fights they had had, all those discussion; Cody had still wanted them to work out, had HOPED for them to work out.
He was not only feeling betrayed, but also played… once again. When would this ever stop? When would he finally find that one guy who would treat him like a prince, who would care for him as much as he did for him, who would worship not only his body, but also his personality, who would love him with everything he had, who would not only see the little sex-kitten in him, but also the young, strong man who was desiring nothing more than a normal, equal relationship?
As his flight was called up, he stood, pulling out his cell phone as he got in the short line in front of the desk. Ignoring the missed calls he had gotten -obviously not only by John, but also by Randy-, he quickly typed in the message to his friend, his mate, the one who he was sure would be there for him, would listen to him, even if that meant flying into Philadelphia a day early.
"Am on my way to Phili. Can you try come tomorrow? Need someone to talk to. Cody."
Hopefully Ted would be able to rearrange his flight.
*And I've lost it all, fell today, it's all the same. I've been abused, I feel so used because of you.*
Ted had read the message a minute after Cody had sent it, knowing right away that something was off. He had known about Cody's plan to visit John and was more than sure that message had something to do with it.
And his worries had been confirmed when Randy had called him early in the morning when Ted had already been on his way to the airport. Sensing that Cody needed him, he had called the airport right after reading the message, asking for the earliest flight to Philadelphia -even putting his pride aside when he had to change his 1st class flight into Economy- and headed for the airport
Randy had told him about Cody storming off, about him seeing that bimbo walk out of Cena's room and his little square off with him afterwards. For some reason, Ted had felt a flash of jealousy, of protectiveness go through him at the news and he could not help but let a small smile spread on his lips. Finally, Cody had seen what kind of a guy Cena really was… and that he earned someone a lot better, that he deserved someone better…
It was a little past noon when he arrived at the hotel, a little surprised that Cody had already made the reservation for him -having told the reception that they would share a room on his expense.
He took a deep breath, standing in front of their room, bag draped over his shoulder as he reached for the doorknob. All of a sudden, he was feeling all insecure and small again. He was not sure if he could stand seeing Cody all beaten up, was not sure if he could be that rock he would need now, not sure how to react, what to say. When it came to listening, to being there for someone, he had never been someone to rely on. He just was not the comforting-type of guy. That was something he shared with Randy.
Taking another deep breath, he finally turned the doorknob around, slowly peeking his head into the room and the sight alone made his heart twitch: Cody was lying on the bed, on his stomach; face buried in the pillow, whole body shaking… and on top of it, the song "Somebody" by Depeche Mode was playing.
It tore his heart apart to see his friend like this, so vulnerable, so hurt. He slowly placed his bag next to the unoccupied bed, the tensing of Cody's body a clear sign that he had recognized him by now as he just stood at the edge of Cody's bed, hands on his hips, chewing on his lips as he tried to decide what to say, what to do.
"Codes… I…"
The younger man shook his head vehemently, raising it a bit to look back at Ted -eyes red and puffy, filled with tears, lips trembling, cheeks flushed, hair a mess- words stuck in his throat as he tried to say something. Ted could only stare at him, running a hand through his hair as he sucked in a deep breath.
He walked closer to him, to the side of his bed, slowly sitting down on the edge, eyes never leaving the young man as latter turned his head back to bury his face in the pillow again. That song was obviously on repeat since once again the lines of "I want somebody to share, share the rest of my life…" filled the room and Ted knew exactly how his friend must have felt right then. He had been through it once, not that it had been anywhere as bad as what Cody was experiencing, seeing that he had already had two miserably failing relationships before John and all his hopes of finally having found that special someone had come to an end Not only that, but just imagining what it had to be like to practically catch your boyfriend "in the act" send a shudder through Ted's body and he involuntarily let out a growl.
He shook his head; putting those thoughts aside again as he concentrated on the boy next to him, body still shaking with the ferocity of his sobs, clothes looking as if he had not changed them since yesterday. In fact, Cody looked as if he had not even slept last night. Slowly his hand reached out towards the young man, but before his fingertips could touch the fluffy, raven-hair, he jerked away again, a sigh escaping his lips, raking that very hand over his face.
He got up in a matter of seconds, own eyes about to tear up just by hearing Cody crying, by seeing him in that state and he decided that it would be best for him to leave him alone, at least for now. Walking back over to his bed, he leaned down to rummage through it until he found the item he was looking for, throwing the box of cigarettes onto Cody's bed. He did not smoke himself, but for a weird reason -ever since rooming with Cody again- he always carried a pack with him.
"I'm gonna go get us something to eat… you go and enjoy a smoke outside while I'm gone… Spareribs sound good to you?"
Cody could not even grasp what was happening, nor did he really realize what Ted was talking about and before he could even answer him, Ted was out of the door again. Wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, Cody slowly rolled over onto his side, blinking a few times until he recognized the cigarettes next to him, a faint smile appearing on his lips, sobs slowly fading.
As soon as he was out of the door again, Ted let out a long, shaky breath, large palm raking over his face as he leaned against the wooden surface. He just could not stay in there any longer. If Cody wanted to talk, he was sure, he would come to him in time, whenever he was ready, whenever he would need someone, but right now… it had not looked as if Cody wanted that. He looked as if he needed some space, some air to breathe… at least that was what Ted needed right now.
Just seeing Cody that vulnerable… it made him want to punch the shit out of John -though… he was sure, Randy would already take care of that- it made his blood boil. And that was nothing Cody needed right now. He needed a calm, relaxed friend, someone who would just be there, who would wait for him to open up, and who would just be a quiet companion for as long as he wanted it.
He knew it first hand. He had been more than glad that after his break-up with Mike no one had asked any stupid questions, no one had pushed him into talking, into spilling his heart out. He had been grateful for Randy to just be there for him, actions having spoken more than a thousand words and he would try to do the same for were in a dark corner of the club.
How the hell they had gotten there neither of them knew and neither of them obviously cared anymore. All Mike knew was that he had waited outside the bathroom when he had seen Stephen walk in. He had wanted to talk to him, wanted to ask him for a few minutes alone, maybe outside of the club. He had wanted to thank him again for helping him through those past days, for having taken care of him, being at his side.
When Stephen had come out again though, the words had been stuck in his throat and before he had been able to get his composure back, he had felt the Irishman's lips covering his and before he had registered what was happening, he had found himself kissing back.
It was none of those sloppy, wet kisses you would suspect from two random people at the back of a club. It was… sensual, slow, intoxicating, stimulating, soft, yet the raw emotions behind the kiss almost made Mike wobble.
Stephen had wanted to do this all week long. For the past seven days he had been on Mike's side, they had gotten to know each other better, they had talked for ages, had shared so many thoughts, so many hours and when he had seen him waiting for him in that dark corner of the club, he just had to take the chance to explore what chances he had… well, obviously his chances were quite good.
The kiss continued on for a while, neither of them wanting to break apart, hands tangled in each others hair as tongues fought for dominance -the sweetness of cherry in Mike's breath intoxicating Stephen- Mike's back pressed flat against the wall, breath' coming out in short pants, noses touching, the salty scent of sweat slowly rising.
When Stephen finally pulled away for air, he rested his head on Mike's shoulder, hot breath ghosting over Mike's earlobe, husky voice making him twitch.
"Ya know Mikey… Ah am no one to be pushed around."
He waited for Mike to nod before he continued, tilting his head to slowly trail a line of kisses from Mike's ear to his cheek.
"If ya want ta give that here a try… there have ta be rules."
Again, Mike nodded, roughly biting onto his bottom lip to keep himself from moaning as Stephen's hand slid under his shirt, brushing over his constricting abs.
"Numba one… if ya ever even think about laying a hand on me… you won't see the next day."
Mike's breath hitched as Stephen's tongue snaked out to lap away some of the sweat on his chin, traveling down to his pulse to give it a swift bite.
"Numba two… ya cheat on me and we are ova."
Closing his eyes, Mike had to concentrate hard on not coming right then and there, feeling Stephen's hips press against his own, the warm, wet tongue traveling up again to his neck, gently nibbling on it.
"Numba three… IF this thing is about to evolve… and it becomes mow… 'tis an equal relationship, understand me, Mike? Same rights for both of us."
The only real answer Mike could muster was a small moan as he could feel the obvious erection pressing into his thigh, his knees almost giving way underneath him as the heat got unbearable. Stephen tilted his head to stare at Mike, intensely, closely watching his expressions, tongue darting out quickly to wet his lips as they curled up into a small smirk.
"Ya wanna go somewhere quieter? More private, Mikey? Ah think you've quate an obvious problem there that needs ta be taken care off."
His eyes traveled down Mike's body, hand following, stopping at the more than visible bulge in the younger mans jeans to give it a quick, but firm squeeze, smirk growing even wider as he felt Mike's hips thrust forward into his touch, an almost sluttish moan escaping that sexy lips. He might as well have some fun tonight before the reality would kick in and their relationship might become serious.
Thankfully, the work-week was over, Randy could finally have his days off… three in a row, and he was more than just glad to be able and see Jake again. It had been hard to just talk to him over phone -both of them being the computer-lethargy they were- to rely on hearing his voice, only thing to make him smile the images he had from their last time together.
He had missed touching him, holding him, feeling him, had missed Jake's breath on his neck when falling asleep, had missed his strong arm wrapped around his chest when waking up, had missed those light, feather-like kisses, those soft lips on his, had missed to stare into those beautifully green eyes. God, he sounded pathetic, but honestly… he did not care. He loved that man with every fiber of his heart.
He had even pissed John off that other day cause while Santino kept on rambling -he had absolutely no memory about what- he had drifted off into one of his fantasies about Jake. It had taken him minutes to finally snap out of it again, realizing that Santino was calling his name and even shoving him. Obviously it had been something important, since Santino had not talked with him a whole day after that.
He chuckled, pulling into the already all too familiar drive-way with a big smile on his lips, seeing Jake already standing on the porch, crutch under his arm, a similar grin plastered on his handsome face.
As soon as he stepped out of the car, all the worries of the past days -Cody and John, his hectic schedule, his stress, etc.- had been forgotten. Jake came hoppling over to him, throwing himself into his arms, kissing him feverishly, with hunger, with lust, hands tightly holding onto Randy's neck, not willing to ever let him get away again.
Randy was surprised about that welcome -okay, he had expected Jake to kiss him, to hold him and all- but this seemed so… off. Pulling back with all the strength he had, he stared into those deep green pools, slightly smiling at Jake, tilting his head, curiosity showing in his features.
"Missed me?"
Jake's answer was another kiss, almost as passionate and needy as the first one, hands on Randy's cheeks, pulling him as close as possible. Again, Randy was taken aback, trying to fight free of Jake's grip, finally succeeding after a moment or two, staring at him disheveled.
"How bout we go inside, huh? Or you wanna give those neighbors a free show?"
Though he said it with a chuckle, he meant it more serious than ever, the change in Jake's behavior, the wanton, the needy side of him throwing him totally off… almost scaring him a bit. He followed Jake inside after grabbing his bags out of the trunk, placing them right next to the door before closing it behind them and the moment he turned around to face Jake again, he felt his lips once again being captured with hunger, with vigorousness, desire, arms wrapping around his waist, holding him tightly, too tightly for his likings.
Not that you get it wrong: Randy had missed him desperately, he was enjoying those kisses, the warmth, the desire, the passion… but it was a little too much, too fast for his likings. Something was definitely off.
Pushing Jake away once again, Randy made sure to keep his arms in front of him, hands on Jake's chest to keep his distance, taking a deep, long breath to get his composure back, to gain a little control again, eyes staring straight into Jake's soul -that was what it felt like to the Mississippi-native at least.
The blond sighed in frustration, turning his head to the side to avoid the boring gaze, suddenly ashamed of himself, his actions, the whole situation too much for him as he bit hard onto his lips, swallowing rather loudly.
Randy ran one of his hands through his short hair, tilting his head slightly to the side as he kept his gaze on his lover, trying to figure out what could possibly be wrong, but giving up after only a few minutes of utter silence.
"Jake?"
He wanted him to look back, wanted to look into his eyes, but Jake was not moving one bit. Sighing, he took a step closer towards the younger man, softly placing a palm to his cheek, tilting his face the way he wanted it to lock eyes with him, smile on his own lips only faint.
"Okay… tell me what's wrong, babe… this isn't you. I know you've missed me and all… but… that just isn't you."
Jake looked down, chewing his lips, words forming in his mind, but getting stuck on their way to his mouth. Randy's thumb gently brushed over his cheekbone, another sigh escaping him, as his patience grew thinner.
"Jake, really… if you don't talk to me, I don't know what the problem is. You should have realized by now that I'm not exactly brilliant at reading someone's mind."
Glancing back up to meet Randy's gaze, finding the dark-tanned man frowning, nose wrinkled up, eyes full of confusion, Jake groaned, shaking his head.
"I… it's silly… childish… it's… it's nothing."
"Jake!"
This time the voice sounded harsher, firmer, almost an order as Randy's frown turned into anger, but as soon as he felt the blond flinch under his touch, he pulled his hand away, taking another deep breath before huffing, voice going back to normal.
"Do you love me?"
A nod.
"Do you need me?"
And another one.
"Do you trust me?"
This time he had to wait, eyes closing in realization on what this was about, trying not to explode right then and there, almost missing the quick nod, faint, barely recognizable.
"That's what it's about?"
Jake could hear the hurt, the frustration, the venom in Randy's voice, chewing on his bottom lip as he nodded again, risking a small glance at the older man, the look in his eyes almost making him freeze -they were cold, as cold as they were when he was in character, staring down an opponent, a victim, an enemy.
"I… yeah…"
It was almost inaudible, a whisper. Jake felt like a little kid in that moment, insecure, guilty, shy, afraid. Waiting for the blow to come, he carefully took a step back, the surprise in Randy's eyes at his action going unnoticed as Randy's eyes widened and he had to blink a few times until letting out a shaky breath, shaking his head.
"You think I'm going to hurt you?"
The shrug he got as an answer hurt him more than Jake's confession that he did not trust him. Running his palm over his face, Randy sighed, closing his eyes for another moment to check if this was really just happening or if it was all a bad dream. Clearly it had to be a nightmare, how else could he have just flown hundreds of miles to see his lover on his only two days off, how else could he have talked to him at least twice every day for the past 12 days without him realizing that something was off, how else could he just have listened to Jake practically telling him that he did not trust him, that he thought he would slap him?
"Jake… look at me!"
He tried to control his voice, making it sound warm and soft, but it still came out a little too harsh, though it had his affect on the younger man. Slowly lifting his head, Jake met his gaze again, the sudden change in Randy's expression surprising him and even when Randy took a step closer again, he stood still, not flinching, not tensing; the love and warmth in Randy's eyes making him relax.
Randy slowly raised his arms, hands reaching to cup Jake's cheeks, holding them in place to look deep into his eyes, lips curling up into a smile. God knew, it had needed all his strength, all his will craft, not to flee the house and never come back, but he wasn't anyone to give up that easily… not when he needed something that bad, wanted something that intensely.
"You gotta believe me when I say that I love you endlessly. After my break-up with Adam, I have lost myself for a long time… but you made me be me again. You made me whole again, made me believe again… in love, in friendship, in trust. Darling, don't you see, I'm not satisfied until I hold you tight? And I would never, ever hurt you… not physically, nor emotionally, not intentionally nor accidentally. I'd rather hurt myself than letting anything happen to you."
The words had driven the tears into Jake's eyes. Swallowing hard, he nodded slowly, eyes never leaving Randy's, feeling the soft skin of his lovers thumbs brushing away some of the tear-drops on his cheeks before the elder leaned in to gently brush his lips over Jake's own, whispering.
"If you ever… ever have any worries again, just remember those words… and if it does not work… if you're still scared, if you still have any doubts after remembering this very moment here, talk to me, okay?"
As soon as he saw Jake nod in agreement, he tenderly pressed his lips onto the blonde's, pushing all other feelings aside, concentrating on just one: love. His tongue slowly traced the soft, full lips of his lover, tasting the salty tears on them, groaning as he savored the feeling, lids fluttering, but eyes staying open the entire time, locked with the green pools staring back at him.
All his fears, his worries, his doubts were gone with just that one confession, that one kiss. Nothing else mattered anymore now, even the pain in his ankle suddenly forgotten, as he got lost into the intense, warm blues of his lover, hands slowly and shakily reaching up to cup the back of Randy's neck, thumbs tenderly stroking his hairline as he granted his loves tongue entrance.
Both sets of eyes finally closing, their breath' hitched. It felt like their very first kiss all over again, sparks flying, chills running down their spines, knees going wobbly, goose-bumps forming as Randy carefully, sensually explored Jake's mouth with his tongue, the latter doing nothing but to enjoy the moment, letting Randy guide the kiss.
It felt like hours, days, breathings becoming labored, holds tightening, soft moans, small mewls, silent whimpers the only noises filling the air and for that one moment, their world stood still, all problems and worries forgotten.
He had finally done it, finally moved out, moved on, finally had his own house again, his freedom, his own privacy. Not as if Ted had not enjoyed staying at Randy's place the past weeks… it had been empty anyways with Randy pretty much spending most of his days off in St. Louis, but it felt so damn good to have an own home again, finally be on his own again.
Popping the cap of his beer open, he let out a long sigh of relief, leaning back into the soft cushions of his brand-new dark-blue leather couch. Looking around his living-room, Ted ignored all the boxes draped all over the place, ignored the still white and empty walls, ignored the smell of fresh paint as he imagined how it would look like once he was done with it.
Best part of the whole moving was that he would be able to do all the decorating, all the planning, all the placing ALONE, without anyone to talk him into stuff he did not like, without anyone giving him annoying suggestions, anyone to bitch about his taste. This was HIS place and HIS alone.
Taking a long swig of his cold beer, he smiled to himself, one arm draped over the smooth cushions of his couch while his feet were kicked up on the teak-table in front of him. Mike would have never allowed him that. Well yeah, screw Mike… now he could do whatever he wanted again. He was in such bliss that he almost forgot about Cody.
Poor boy still had not talked to him about what had happened, still had not opened up to him. He had moped around all weekend long, denying each offer Ted had made about taking him out, going to a club, a bar, just somewhere, anywhere. However, Ted knew how he must feel, so he did not take it personal… well, maybe a little bit. After all, he was his best friend, right? Moreover, they had made such a great connection ever since traveling together again, since rooming together again, that he had hoped for Cody to at least trust him enough to let go.
Then again, he remembered Friday, scoffing at the image of vulnerable, crying, shaking Cody in his mind. How much had he wanted to just hold him, to just comfort him that afternoon, that evening? And every following night, when he had heard the stifled sobs, the painful, heart wrenching sobs coming from the younger man?
However, he had been patient, had waited for Cody to come to him, to make the first step. He still had not forgotten about that basketball game between them, their soft touches, their intimate brushes, their heated glances… and hell, how could he ever forget that massage? It had driven him nuts for DAYS after it had happened. All the images in his head, thoughts racing, feelings mixing, he had barely trusted himself whenever Cody had been around him the next days.
He could have sworn that there had not only been something more from his side, but also from his friend's. The electricity, the chemistry, those seductive looks, the hoarse commands… it could not just have been his imagination, right? Clearly, Cody had tried to flirt with him that night… but then again, why would he? He had been in a loving relationship, a perfect relationship, well… until a few days ago at least.
Sighing again, he took another swig of his beer, slowly drifting off into his fantasies as he enjoyed the silence of his new home. He could almost feel Cody's fingers gently kneading the tender flesh on his back, could almost feel his hot breath ghosting over his neck, could almost feel that straining bulge pressing into his lower back again. He was so deep into his thoughts that he could barely hear his phone ringing, the sound so faintly, as if it was miles away.
Snapping out of it, he let out a breathy groan before reaching over onto the table to take a look at who was ruining his bliss right now. It would not have surprised him if it was Mike… or Randy. Yeah, maybe Randy just wanted to check if he had arrived safely and if he had already settled in.
However, to his surprise, he saw a whole other name blinking on the screen, his frown turning into a bright smile instantly as he answered.
"Hey Codes."
"Hey Teddy… and? Have you settled in already?"
He greened widely, though Cody could not see him at all, nodding his head as he let his gaze once again drift around his living room.
"Yupp… it feels great to finally have a home again. My own damn four walls."
The sigh he got before the actual answer made him alerted to Cody's current situation again.
"That sounds amazing."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
God, that sadness in Cody's voice almost made his heart break in two. He could not handle it.
"Codes… why did ya really call?"
"What are you talking…"
"Codes… please… you trust me, right?"
He could hear another sigh from the younger man on the other end and before he could answer, he cut him off again.
"Listen… I should have told you that last weekend already, but I kinda guessed you already knew it. Codes, whatever it is, you can always talk to me. I'm always there to listen, man. Whenever you need someone, I'm right there."
"I just… well… I…"
He could hear another heart-wrenching sob, followed by quiet sniffling, closing his eyes for a moment to concentrate on the task… the task that was to make Cody happy.
"It's just so… I don't understand it, Teddy… you know? Why… why has he cheated? Why did he do that to me? Why am I always the one being treated like shit? Why can't I be happy for once? I just want to… I just… want someone to be there for me, to hold me, to… love me back… someone to not just see me as a fucking object, as a sex-toy…"
As Cody's voice trailed off, so did Ted's mind. His friend could do so much better, could find someone a lot nicer, someone caring. He knew it for sure since it was the same thing he kept telling himself ever since Mike had gone nuts, even long before their relationship had ended.
Sighing, he listened on to Cody's rambling, just listening, nothing else, giving him an acknowledging hum every now and then so Cody knew that he was still there.
Honestly, Cody had not talked that openly to him in ages, that freely, not since he had started dating Mike and especially not since Cody had started seeing John. For two hours, he listened on as Cody complained about his past relationships, his love life, the men in general, about everyone treating him as if he was either a kid or a toy, no one taking him serious, not even Randy.
Ted's mind drifted off several times, thinking, imagining how it would be like if HE was the one on Cody's side, how they would work as a couple, if they would make it work, if he would do the same mistakes Cena had done… well… definitely not the cheating one. Cody was way too good, too loving, too kind to be treated like this, to be cheated on.
And several times Ted had to stop himself from trailing off to far -though wondering about his true feelings for Cody- to remind himself that he had just come out of a catastrophic relationship himself, that he was glad to be single, that somewhere deep inside it still felt like cheating on Mike, that he needed time to heal… and thus also went for Cody.
I know, I know... lots of drama and stuff. Too much? You like it? Any ideas for the future? Any suggestions?
And yes, I know some of you will hate me now for pairing Mike with Stephen, but I dun care.
Summary: Follow three WWE couples on their way through fame, hard work, stress and the troubles of relationship.
Pairings: Cody/John, Randy/Jack, Stephen/Miz
Disclaimer: I own my crazyness, but nothing else... oh wait... I also own my muses... and all the mistakes in this story since it is unbeta'ed as always.
Warnings: Slash, Sex and Fluff
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10
Part 11
Randy had not been able to keep his promise this week; due to interviews, signings and a photo-shoot he had not been able to visit Jake. Though they had talked on the phone at least twice every day -once after Randy had gotten up, once before he had went to bed- it had done nothing to sooth Jake's worries.
Fuck the injury and his spot in the company, fuck the title, fuck not being able to see Randy for at least five days every week; what had worried him the most ever since he had heard the plop of his ankle was that Randy would go back to his old ways again. That now that he was not there with him, Randy would find another plaything to entertain him while being on tour.
He hated himself for those thoughts. God, he wanted to trust Randy, fully, 100 percent, he really wanted to. However, Randy's past and the rocky start of their relationship were something he could not just push aside.
In addition, with Adam on the Raw roster… what if they were hooking up again? Just the mere thought of Randy with another man, no matter whom it was, made him break out in sweat -and the thought of Adam of all people… it made him want to vomit. Why was it so hard to just trust Randy?
After all, Randy had been the one to say "I love you." first, not him. He had been the one coping with his fits and with his tantrums the past weeks, whenever he got jealous, or scared, or when he had freaked out over his injury… Randy had been there all the time, taking care of him, soothing him, loving him.
And still, Jake had the feeling that Randy might take the chance -away from him, from his clawing, his fits, his desperateness- to find someone better. Hold on… maybe he was not afraid of Randy looking for another guy; maybe he was just afraid that he was not good enough for Randy? Did that make any sense? Maybe he was trusting Randy, but not confident enough in himself?
Why would a man like Randy stay with him anyways? He had nothing to offer. He was sure; Randy must have had better guys in bed so far. He was even sure that Randy was used to getting more attention. Was sure that Randy had been taken care of a lot better. He was sure that Randy could have had anyone he wanted, would just need to snap with his finger and someone much better than him would be there to take his place.
It drove him almost insane. The silence in his house, nothing to do for the whole past week, nowhere to go, it was driving him nuts. He had to do something, had to get out of the house, find a hobby he could practice with that fucking sprained ankle, he needed to… maybe he needed to talk to Randy? That was if he ever came back.
He should have told him his worries when Randy had left, before he had left, but he had been sure that Randy would laugh at him for it. Either that he would have laughed at the ridiculous fear or he would have been disappointed in Jake not trusting him. Then again, who said that Randy would even care enough about his fear to take it serious?
Besides this, were had been the point after such a night of tender, gentle, almost agonizingly slow, passionate love-making that night before Randy had left? He would have only ruined the whole bliss, might even have ruined whatever it was they had. Did he just sound like a whiny, insecure baby? Well… maybe he was. After all, he loved Randy with all his heart, with everything he had and it scared him to death, seeing since this had been the first time ever he had felt something that deep, that intense for anyone, especially a man.
More than three weeks, seriously, more than three weeks it had been since John and Cody had seen each other. More than three weeks since they had touched each other, kissed each other, made love to each other. Which did not mean that John did not have a lot of fun, god knew he had. However, it was driving him insane.
All those nights out, fucking random bitches, groupies, getting blown by girls he had just met at a local bar or club… it was nothing like Cody and still, he could not stop it. His needs had taken over, his drive for more, his animalistic desires. Not that he felt guilty. Not really, since in that stupid little brain of his, he was sure that Cody was doing exactly the same -just not with girls, but with men. After all, Cody had still some kind of reputation. In addition, he was there with Ted… Ted, the guy he had more or less turned gay, well… bisexual at least. Just like Cody had done with John. One hidden talent that kid had, huh?
John's POV
Excuse my ramblings, but I'm just watching the taped match Ted and Cody had had last week, against each other. Their hands all over each other. Their bodies working so well together. How can someone not see it? The passion, the lust, the desire when they're both together? How could I have been that blind?
Of course, they were fucking each other. Even a blind man -or woman- could see it. Those looks they were sending each other during that match, almost devouring each others with their eyes, almost undressing each others right there in the middle of that ring, in front of the cameras. And it had not been the first time.
I have watched tape after tape the past days, watched match after match where they had both participated, either as opponents or as partners, and each and every time I could see it, could sense it. Their love for each other. How could I really be that stupid to think that that little twink could ever love me if he was obviously after Ted? Wait; sorry… it's not the right time, nor place to call Cody a twink. After all he is a grown up man -kinky, yeah, but grown up- but seeing him performing like this, openly, almost fucking Ted right there in the ring, it's obviously he's cheating on me. So it's just fair that I'm doing the same to him, right?
I can't watch it anymore. It's making me sick. Cause I just can't look -it's killing me and taking control; jealousy turning saints into the sea.
Normal POV
He got up from his bed, turning off the recorder, throwing the remote away carelessly before raking a hand over his face. He needed to go out, get his mind off things, clear his head, and maybe find a ring-rat for the night again. Obviously, that was the only thing soothing his jealousy. And obviously, he did not even realize how much he had turned into the one person they had once hated for all he was worth: Mike.
Cody was on his way to Boston. His next appearance would be in two days and he sought his chance to finally visit his boyfriend again. After all, John had been right. It sucked that they had not seen each other for more than three weeks and even back then, they had not slept together, seeing that after their family-dinner, none of them had really been in the mood. And video-chats? Well… they were not exactly the best way of fulfilling your sexual needs. Not with Ted in the same room, especially.
It would only be a short visit, maybe only a day, seeing that it was already close to midnight when he arrived at the hotel. He had called Randy the day before to find out which hotel they were staying at, told him about his planned surprise, and even asked for some advice on how to do it best.
Now that he was standing in front of John's room -the clerk already knowing about his arrival since Randy had informed the front desk- he needed some re-assurance. Not that he was not sure about his surprise. He was more than certain, John would love it, seeing that all he had talked about on their chats the past weeks had been sex, sex and… well, you get the picture. Just… he was not so sure anymore if he even wanted it.
He had had a lot of time to think those past days, had had long talks with his friends, with Teil, with Paul, even with Ted and even though none of them knew a lot about his relationship, they had all told him the same thing: from what he had told them, John was just using him to play.
And still, Cody could not believe it. After all, John had taken care of him after that family-dinner had gone completely wrong, after all John had been the one to make their relationship public, not him, after all, John had even offered him to be his first back then.
Taking a deep breath, he build up some more confidence before sliding the card through the slit, fully unaware of what was about to hit him.
As he opened the door, he was met with darkness, but the noises he could hear were more than he needed to know what was happening in the room.
Loud gasps and moans, definitely belonging to someone female, mixed with throaty grunts and growls, the owner of the voice more than familiar to him and as he switched on the light next to the door, the world came finally crashing down on him.
He stared at them open-mouthed, wide-eyed, feeling his heart break into a million pieces: there, on the bed, his boyfriend lay on his back -naked as god had created him- hands firmly holding onto some blonds waist, his thick girth buried deep inside of her as her head was thrown back in ecstasy, John's eyes fixed on her pleased features.
As soon as the bright light made him realize the other person in the room, his hips stilled and his head snapped towards the door, eyes instantly widening as he spotted his lover -body shaking, eyes tearing up, lips trembling, fists clenched at his sides.
Before the girl knew what hit her, John had practically thrown her of his lap, scrambling his boxers from the floor in a haste, trying to reach the door before it was too late, but the moment he stopped in front of Cody, shorts barely covering anything of his sweaty frame, he was greeted with a hard slap right across his cheek, sending his head flying to the side.
Cody stormed out of the room again, John's calls staying ignored as he ran down the hallway and towards the stairs, almost flying down them, past several people, through the lobby, almost running into Randy.
The eldest had seen Cody storming towards him, seen the look in his eyes, the flushed cheeks, the tears, reaching out an arm to try and stop him, but with the power Cody had suddenly built inside of him, the rush he was in, Randy had no chance to stop him. Looking on as the young man left the hotel in a hurry, he blinked a few times -the reason to Cody's behaviour already dawning on him.
He was upstairs in less than three minutes, just in time to see the blond girl leaving John's room quickly, blouse not even half buttoned up yet, hair still a mess, John handing her the bright pink stilettos.
Not only wondered Randy how John could have cheated on Cody, but he also wondered where he had left his taste. THAT blond sure was not something HE would do.
He passed John without so much looking at him, walking straight into his room, waiting for the older man to follow and close the door. As soon as that had happened, Randy turned around, viper-like movements bringing him nose to nose with John in only mere seconds, snarling at him.
"WHAT THE FUCK, CENA?"
The older man slightly flinched, biting his upper lip as Randy's face grew red just by re-imagining that look on Cody's face a few minutes ago, the hurt, the pain, the sadness as he had brushed past him.
"You're a fucking idiot, John, you know that?"
The brunette did not even know how to respond, knowing damn well that he had screwed up, knowing damn well that no apology, no explanation would make up for it, knowing damn well that Randy was right. So where was the point in speaking?
"God, fuck John… how could you do this to Cody, huh? How could you betray him like that? Are your fucking needs so much more important than the love of this boy? He worships you, you idiot and you throw it all away just to get some sex, that I think was not even worth it by the looks of that chick."
He let him ramble on and on, neither knowing what to say nor really having anything to say as Randy talked himself more and more into rage, face flushed with anger, one hand tightly grasping John by his biceps -seeing that he was only dressed in boxers, with no shirt to pull at- veins on his forehead pulsing, eyes almost bulging out of their sockets.
"You're a sick moron, Cena… god… you are such a fucking moron. If it wasn't for Cody probably getting mad at me, I'd fucking cut your balls of right now. You idiot better try to fix this shit again. Call him! Do something before I really have to hurt you! NOW!"
He did not really have another choice than to pick up his phone from the nightstand, swallowing hard as he dialled Cody's number. Even a John Cena could get quite intimidated by a sulking, by a maddened Randy Orton, knowing damn well how less it took for Randy to truly snap and let all his rage out on him.
Keeping his eyes fixed on Randy, he listened to the phone ring, listened to the beep that signalled him that he had went to voicemail, sighing heavily as he tried to make some sense on the phone.
"Cody… please call me back, baby. I can… no, I can't explain, but please… just call me back. I'm sorry… I really am. Come on… just… call me."
Before he could say anything else, the phone beeped again, the mailbox kicking him off. Not daring to turn around to once again face Randy, he breached himself for the blow to come, but nothing ever happened.
"You make sure that the boy's alright, Cena… or else I'm gonna kick your head off in our next match!"
With that said, John could hear the door slam shut, flinching at the force of it, grip on his cell-phone tightening as he wet his lips, letting out a long sigh. He was more than just in trouble.
By the time Randy left, Cody had already been at the airport, checking in for the first flight to Philadelphia -the destination of their next houseshow. There was no use in flying back home first; it would only lead to stress, to even MORE stress. And he could not handle the loneliness of his own four walls, not now. In Phili, he would at least have some of his co-workers to distract him, he would have Teddy.
He had felt his phone vibrate during his ride to the airport, had actually even taken a look at the display, but had stuffed it back in his pocket as soon as he had read Johns name. Whatever apology, whatever pathetic excuse he had, Cody did not want to hear it.
While he was waiting for his flight to be called up, sitting in the almost empty airport -what else would you expect at midnight- the image of his boyfriend thrusting up into that dirty blond repeated itself in his mind over and over again. He could not grasp why this had happened, could not grasp why he had not seen it before, why John had cheated on him.
Thoughts were running through his head in lightning-speed: How long had John already cheated on him? Why? Why with a girl? Was it the first time? Had he not meant everything he had ever told Cody? Had he always lied to him?
"I fucking like you… I respect you… I AM NOT DAVE… I love you endlessly, darling don't you see?"
"Without you I'm no one… I'm nothing at all. I love you!"
"I know that I fucked up big time… I know it… but please give me another chance… one more… Give me one more chance tonight and I swear I'll make it right!"
"Miss to hold you, to kiss you, to tease you, to miss you. Miss to look at you, talk to you, play games with you, walk with you"
"It'll all be good.. I promise."
"It's not senseless, babe… just because they don't get it, does not mean we aren't meant to be."
Had all those words only been a façade? Had he lied to him the whole time? Why couldn't he just be happy for once in his life?
First, it had been Dave, then James… and he had been so sure that John was different from them, that he really loved him, that he would actually be the one. Even through everything they had gone through, even after all those fights they had had, all those discussion; Cody had still wanted them to work out, had HOPED for them to work out.
He was not only feeling betrayed, but also played… once again. When would this ever stop? When would he finally find that one guy who would treat him like a prince, who would care for him as much as he did for him, who would worship not only his body, but also his personality, who would love him with everything he had, who would not only see the little sex-kitten in him, but also the young, strong man who was desiring nothing more than a normal, equal relationship?
As his flight was called up, he stood, pulling out his cell phone as he got in the short line in front of the desk. Ignoring the missed calls he had gotten -obviously not only by John, but also by Randy-, he quickly typed in the message to his friend, his mate, the one who he was sure would be there for him, would listen to him, even if that meant flying into Philadelphia a day early.
"Am on my way to Phili. Can you try come tomorrow? Need someone to talk to. Cody."
Hopefully Ted would be able to rearrange his flight.
*And I've lost it all, fell today, it's all the same. I've been abused, I feel so used because of you.*
Ted had read the message a minute after Cody had sent it, knowing right away that something was off. He had known about Cody's plan to visit John and was more than sure that message had something to do with it.
And his worries had been confirmed when Randy had called him early in the morning when Ted had already been on his way to the airport. Sensing that Cody needed him, he had called the airport right after reading the message, asking for the earliest flight to Philadelphia -even putting his pride aside when he had to change his 1st class flight into Economy- and headed for the airport
Randy had told him about Cody storming off, about him seeing that bimbo walk out of Cena's room and his little square off with him afterwards. For some reason, Ted had felt a flash of jealousy, of protectiveness go through him at the news and he could not help but let a small smile spread on his lips. Finally, Cody had seen what kind of a guy Cena really was… and that he earned someone a lot better, that he deserved someone better…
It was a little past noon when he arrived at the hotel, a little surprised that Cody had already made the reservation for him -having told the reception that they would share a room on his expense.
He took a deep breath, standing in front of their room, bag draped over his shoulder as he reached for the doorknob. All of a sudden, he was feeling all insecure and small again. He was not sure if he could stand seeing Cody all beaten up, was not sure if he could be that rock he would need now, not sure how to react, what to say. When it came to listening, to being there for someone, he had never been someone to rely on. He just was not the comforting-type of guy. That was something he shared with Randy.
Taking another deep breath, he finally turned the doorknob around, slowly peeking his head into the room and the sight alone made his heart twitch: Cody was lying on the bed, on his stomach; face buried in the pillow, whole body shaking… and on top of it, the song "Somebody" by Depeche Mode was playing.
It tore his heart apart to see his friend like this, so vulnerable, so hurt. He slowly placed his bag next to the unoccupied bed, the tensing of Cody's body a clear sign that he had recognized him by now as he just stood at the edge of Cody's bed, hands on his hips, chewing on his lips as he tried to decide what to say, what to do.
"Codes… I…"
The younger man shook his head vehemently, raising it a bit to look back at Ted -eyes red and puffy, filled with tears, lips trembling, cheeks flushed, hair a mess- words stuck in his throat as he tried to say something. Ted could only stare at him, running a hand through his hair as he sucked in a deep breath.
He walked closer to him, to the side of his bed, slowly sitting down on the edge, eyes never leaving the young man as latter turned his head back to bury his face in the pillow again. That song was obviously on repeat since once again the lines of "I want somebody to share, share the rest of my life…" filled the room and Ted knew exactly how his friend must have felt right then. He had been through it once, not that it had been anywhere as bad as what Cody was experiencing, seeing that he had already had two miserably failing relationships before John and all his hopes of finally having found that special someone had come to an end Not only that, but just imagining what it had to be like to practically catch your boyfriend "in the act" send a shudder through Ted's body and he involuntarily let out a growl.
He shook his head; putting those thoughts aside again as he concentrated on the boy next to him, body still shaking with the ferocity of his sobs, clothes looking as if he had not changed them since yesterday. In fact, Cody looked as if he had not even slept last night. Slowly his hand reached out towards the young man, but before his fingertips could touch the fluffy, raven-hair, he jerked away again, a sigh escaping his lips, raking that very hand over his face.
He got up in a matter of seconds, own eyes about to tear up just by hearing Cody crying, by seeing him in that state and he decided that it would be best for him to leave him alone, at least for now. Walking back over to his bed, he leaned down to rummage through it until he found the item he was looking for, throwing the box of cigarettes onto Cody's bed. He did not smoke himself, but for a weird reason -ever since rooming with Cody again- he always carried a pack with him.
"I'm gonna go get us something to eat… you go and enjoy a smoke outside while I'm gone… Spareribs sound good to you?"
Cody could not even grasp what was happening, nor did he really realize what Ted was talking about and before he could even answer him, Ted was out of the door again. Wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, Cody slowly rolled over onto his side, blinking a few times until he recognized the cigarettes next to him, a faint smile appearing on his lips, sobs slowly fading.
As soon as he was out of the door again, Ted let out a long, shaky breath, large palm raking over his face as he leaned against the wooden surface. He just could not stay in there any longer. If Cody wanted to talk, he was sure, he would come to him in time, whenever he was ready, whenever he would need someone, but right now… it had not looked as if Cody wanted that. He looked as if he needed some space, some air to breathe… at least that was what Ted needed right now.
Just seeing Cody that vulnerable… it made him want to punch the shit out of John -though… he was sure, Randy would already take care of that- it made his blood boil. And that was nothing Cody needed right now. He needed a calm, relaxed friend, someone who would just be there, who would wait for him to open up, and who would just be a quiet companion for as long as he wanted it.
He knew it first hand. He had been more than glad that after his break-up with Mike no one had asked any stupid questions, no one had pushed him into talking, into spilling his heart out. He had been grateful for Randy to just be there for him, actions having spoken more than a thousand words and he would try to do the same for were in a dark corner of the club.
How the hell they had gotten there neither of them knew and neither of them obviously cared anymore. All Mike knew was that he had waited outside the bathroom when he had seen Stephen walk in. He had wanted to talk to him, wanted to ask him for a few minutes alone, maybe outside of the club. He had wanted to thank him again for helping him through those past days, for having taken care of him, being at his side.
When Stephen had come out again though, the words had been stuck in his throat and before he had been able to get his composure back, he had felt the Irishman's lips covering his and before he had registered what was happening, he had found himself kissing back.
It was none of those sloppy, wet kisses you would suspect from two random people at the back of a club. It was… sensual, slow, intoxicating, stimulating, soft, yet the raw emotions behind the kiss almost made Mike wobble.
Stephen had wanted to do this all week long. For the past seven days he had been on Mike's side, they had gotten to know each other better, they had talked for ages, had shared so many thoughts, so many hours and when he had seen him waiting for him in that dark corner of the club, he just had to take the chance to explore what chances he had… well, obviously his chances were quite good.
The kiss continued on for a while, neither of them wanting to break apart, hands tangled in each others hair as tongues fought for dominance -the sweetness of cherry in Mike's breath intoxicating Stephen- Mike's back pressed flat against the wall, breath' coming out in short pants, noses touching, the salty scent of sweat slowly rising.
When Stephen finally pulled away for air, he rested his head on Mike's shoulder, hot breath ghosting over Mike's earlobe, husky voice making him twitch.
"Ya know Mikey… Ah am no one to be pushed around."
He waited for Mike to nod before he continued, tilting his head to slowly trail a line of kisses from Mike's ear to his cheek.
"If ya want ta give that here a try… there have ta be rules."
Again, Mike nodded, roughly biting onto his bottom lip to keep himself from moaning as Stephen's hand slid under his shirt, brushing over his constricting abs.
"Numba one… if ya ever even think about laying a hand on me… you won't see the next day."
Mike's breath hitched as Stephen's tongue snaked out to lap away some of the sweat on his chin, traveling down to his pulse to give it a swift bite.
"Numba two… ya cheat on me and we are ova."
Closing his eyes, Mike had to concentrate hard on not coming right then and there, feeling Stephen's hips press against his own, the warm, wet tongue traveling up again to his neck, gently nibbling on it.
"Numba three… IF this thing is about to evolve… and it becomes mow… 'tis an equal relationship, understand me, Mike? Same rights for both of us."
The only real answer Mike could muster was a small moan as he could feel the obvious erection pressing into his thigh, his knees almost giving way underneath him as the heat got unbearable. Stephen tilted his head to stare at Mike, intensely, closely watching his expressions, tongue darting out quickly to wet his lips as they curled up into a small smirk.
"Ya wanna go somewhere quieter? More private, Mikey? Ah think you've quate an obvious problem there that needs ta be taken care off."
His eyes traveled down Mike's body, hand following, stopping at the more than visible bulge in the younger mans jeans to give it a quick, but firm squeeze, smirk growing even wider as he felt Mike's hips thrust forward into his touch, an almost sluttish moan escaping that sexy lips. He might as well have some fun tonight before the reality would kick in and their relationship might become serious.
Thankfully, the work-week was over, Randy could finally have his days off… three in a row, and he was more than just glad to be able and see Jake again. It had been hard to just talk to him over phone -both of them being the computer-lethargy they were- to rely on hearing his voice, only thing to make him smile the images he had from their last time together.
He had missed touching him, holding him, feeling him, had missed Jake's breath on his neck when falling asleep, had missed his strong arm wrapped around his chest when waking up, had missed those light, feather-like kisses, those soft lips on his, had missed to stare into those beautifully green eyes. God, he sounded pathetic, but honestly… he did not care. He loved that man with every fiber of his heart.
He had even pissed John off that other day cause while Santino kept on rambling -he had absolutely no memory about what- he had drifted off into one of his fantasies about Jake. It had taken him minutes to finally snap out of it again, realizing that Santino was calling his name and even shoving him. Obviously it had been something important, since Santino had not talked with him a whole day after that.
He chuckled, pulling into the already all too familiar drive-way with a big smile on his lips, seeing Jake already standing on the porch, crutch under his arm, a similar grin plastered on his handsome face.
As soon as he stepped out of the car, all the worries of the past days -Cody and John, his hectic schedule, his stress, etc.- had been forgotten. Jake came hoppling over to him, throwing himself into his arms, kissing him feverishly, with hunger, with lust, hands tightly holding onto Randy's neck, not willing to ever let him get away again.
Randy was surprised about that welcome -okay, he had expected Jake to kiss him, to hold him and all- but this seemed so… off. Pulling back with all the strength he had, he stared into those deep green pools, slightly smiling at Jake, tilting his head, curiosity showing in his features.
"Missed me?"
Jake's answer was another kiss, almost as passionate and needy as the first one, hands on Randy's cheeks, pulling him as close as possible. Again, Randy was taken aback, trying to fight free of Jake's grip, finally succeeding after a moment or two, staring at him disheveled.
"How bout we go inside, huh? Or you wanna give those neighbors a free show?"
Though he said it with a chuckle, he meant it more serious than ever, the change in Jake's behavior, the wanton, the needy side of him throwing him totally off… almost scaring him a bit. He followed Jake inside after grabbing his bags out of the trunk, placing them right next to the door before closing it behind them and the moment he turned around to face Jake again, he felt his lips once again being captured with hunger, with vigorousness, desire, arms wrapping around his waist, holding him tightly, too tightly for his likings.
Not that you get it wrong: Randy had missed him desperately, he was enjoying those kisses, the warmth, the desire, the passion… but it was a little too much, too fast for his likings. Something was definitely off.
Pushing Jake away once again, Randy made sure to keep his arms in front of him, hands on Jake's chest to keep his distance, taking a deep, long breath to get his composure back, to gain a little control again, eyes staring straight into Jake's soul -that was what it felt like to the Mississippi-native at least.
The blond sighed in frustration, turning his head to the side to avoid the boring gaze, suddenly ashamed of himself, his actions, the whole situation too much for him as he bit hard onto his lips, swallowing rather loudly.
Randy ran one of his hands through his short hair, tilting his head slightly to the side as he kept his gaze on his lover, trying to figure out what could possibly be wrong, but giving up after only a few minutes of utter silence.
"Jake?"
He wanted him to look back, wanted to look into his eyes, but Jake was not moving one bit. Sighing, he took a step closer towards the younger man, softly placing a palm to his cheek, tilting his face the way he wanted it to lock eyes with him, smile on his own lips only faint.
"Okay… tell me what's wrong, babe… this isn't you. I know you've missed me and all… but… that just isn't you."
Jake looked down, chewing his lips, words forming in his mind, but getting stuck on their way to his mouth. Randy's thumb gently brushed over his cheekbone, another sigh escaping him, as his patience grew thinner.
"Jake, really… if you don't talk to me, I don't know what the problem is. You should have realized by now that I'm not exactly brilliant at reading someone's mind."
Glancing back up to meet Randy's gaze, finding the dark-tanned man frowning, nose wrinkled up, eyes full of confusion, Jake groaned, shaking his head.
"I… it's silly… childish… it's… it's nothing."
"Jake!"
This time the voice sounded harsher, firmer, almost an order as Randy's frown turned into anger, but as soon as he felt the blond flinch under his touch, he pulled his hand away, taking another deep breath before huffing, voice going back to normal.
"Do you love me?"
A nod.
"Do you need me?"
And another one.
"Do you trust me?"
This time he had to wait, eyes closing in realization on what this was about, trying not to explode right then and there, almost missing the quick nod, faint, barely recognizable.
"That's what it's about?"
Jake could hear the hurt, the frustration, the venom in Randy's voice, chewing on his bottom lip as he nodded again, risking a small glance at the older man, the look in his eyes almost making him freeze -they were cold, as cold as they were when he was in character, staring down an opponent, a victim, an enemy.
"I… yeah…"
It was almost inaudible, a whisper. Jake felt like a little kid in that moment, insecure, guilty, shy, afraid. Waiting for the blow to come, he carefully took a step back, the surprise in Randy's eyes at his action going unnoticed as Randy's eyes widened and he had to blink a few times until letting out a shaky breath, shaking his head.
"You think I'm going to hurt you?"
The shrug he got as an answer hurt him more than Jake's confession that he did not trust him. Running his palm over his face, Randy sighed, closing his eyes for another moment to check if this was really just happening or if it was all a bad dream. Clearly it had to be a nightmare, how else could he have just flown hundreds of miles to see his lover on his only two days off, how else could he have talked to him at least twice every day for the past 12 days without him realizing that something was off, how else could he just have listened to Jake practically telling him that he did not trust him, that he thought he would slap him?
"Jake… look at me!"
He tried to control his voice, making it sound warm and soft, but it still came out a little too harsh, though it had his affect on the younger man. Slowly lifting his head, Jake met his gaze again, the sudden change in Randy's expression surprising him and even when Randy took a step closer again, he stood still, not flinching, not tensing; the love and warmth in Randy's eyes making him relax.
Randy slowly raised his arms, hands reaching to cup Jake's cheeks, holding them in place to look deep into his eyes, lips curling up into a smile. God knew, it had needed all his strength, all his will craft, not to flee the house and never come back, but he wasn't anyone to give up that easily… not when he needed something that bad, wanted something that intensely.
"You gotta believe me when I say that I love you endlessly. After my break-up with Adam, I have lost myself for a long time… but you made me be me again. You made me whole again, made me believe again… in love, in friendship, in trust. Darling, don't you see, I'm not satisfied until I hold you tight? And I would never, ever hurt you… not physically, nor emotionally, not intentionally nor accidentally. I'd rather hurt myself than letting anything happen to you."
The words had driven the tears into Jake's eyes. Swallowing hard, he nodded slowly, eyes never leaving Randy's, feeling the soft skin of his lovers thumbs brushing away some of the tear-drops on his cheeks before the elder leaned in to gently brush his lips over Jake's own, whispering.
"If you ever… ever have any worries again, just remember those words… and if it does not work… if you're still scared, if you still have any doubts after remembering this very moment here, talk to me, okay?"
As soon as he saw Jake nod in agreement, he tenderly pressed his lips onto the blonde's, pushing all other feelings aside, concentrating on just one: love. His tongue slowly traced the soft, full lips of his lover, tasting the salty tears on them, groaning as he savored the feeling, lids fluttering, but eyes staying open the entire time, locked with the green pools staring back at him.
All his fears, his worries, his doubts were gone with just that one confession, that one kiss. Nothing else mattered anymore now, even the pain in his ankle suddenly forgotten, as he got lost into the intense, warm blues of his lover, hands slowly and shakily reaching up to cup the back of Randy's neck, thumbs tenderly stroking his hairline as he granted his loves tongue entrance.
Both sets of eyes finally closing, their breath' hitched. It felt like their very first kiss all over again, sparks flying, chills running down their spines, knees going wobbly, goose-bumps forming as Randy carefully, sensually explored Jake's mouth with his tongue, the latter doing nothing but to enjoy the moment, letting Randy guide the kiss.
It felt like hours, days, breathings becoming labored, holds tightening, soft moans, small mewls, silent whimpers the only noises filling the air and for that one moment, their world stood still, all problems and worries forgotten.
He had finally done it, finally moved out, moved on, finally had his own house again, his freedom, his own privacy. Not as if Ted had not enjoyed staying at Randy's place the past weeks… it had been empty anyways with Randy pretty much spending most of his days off in St. Louis, but it felt so damn good to have an own home again, finally be on his own again.
Popping the cap of his beer open, he let out a long sigh of relief, leaning back into the soft cushions of his brand-new dark-blue leather couch. Looking around his living-room, Ted ignored all the boxes draped all over the place, ignored the still white and empty walls, ignored the smell of fresh paint as he imagined how it would look like once he was done with it.
Best part of the whole moving was that he would be able to do all the decorating, all the planning, all the placing ALONE, without anyone to talk him into stuff he did not like, without anyone giving him annoying suggestions, anyone to bitch about his taste. This was HIS place and HIS alone.
Taking a long swig of his cold beer, he smiled to himself, one arm draped over the smooth cushions of his couch while his feet were kicked up on the teak-table in front of him. Mike would have never allowed him that. Well yeah, screw Mike… now he could do whatever he wanted again. He was in such bliss that he almost forgot about Cody.
Poor boy still had not talked to him about what had happened, still had not opened up to him. He had moped around all weekend long, denying each offer Ted had made about taking him out, going to a club, a bar, just somewhere, anywhere. However, Ted knew how he must feel, so he did not take it personal… well, maybe a little bit. After all, he was his best friend, right? Moreover, they had made such a great connection ever since traveling together again, since rooming together again, that he had hoped for Cody to at least trust him enough to let go.
Then again, he remembered Friday, scoffing at the image of vulnerable, crying, shaking Cody in his mind. How much had he wanted to just hold him, to just comfort him that afternoon, that evening? And every following night, when he had heard the stifled sobs, the painful, heart wrenching sobs coming from the younger man?
However, he had been patient, had waited for Cody to come to him, to make the first step. He still had not forgotten about that basketball game between them, their soft touches, their intimate brushes, their heated glances… and hell, how could he ever forget that massage? It had driven him nuts for DAYS after it had happened. All the images in his head, thoughts racing, feelings mixing, he had barely trusted himself whenever Cody had been around him the next days.
He could have sworn that there had not only been something more from his side, but also from his friend's. The electricity, the chemistry, those seductive looks, the hoarse commands… it could not just have been his imagination, right? Clearly, Cody had tried to flirt with him that night… but then again, why would he? He had been in a loving relationship, a perfect relationship, well… until a few days ago at least.
Sighing again, he took another swig of his beer, slowly drifting off into his fantasies as he enjoyed the silence of his new home. He could almost feel Cody's fingers gently kneading the tender flesh on his back, could almost feel his hot breath ghosting over his neck, could almost feel that straining bulge pressing into his lower back again. He was so deep into his thoughts that he could barely hear his phone ringing, the sound so faintly, as if it was miles away.
Snapping out of it, he let out a breathy groan before reaching over onto the table to take a look at who was ruining his bliss right now. It would not have surprised him if it was Mike… or Randy. Yeah, maybe Randy just wanted to check if he had arrived safely and if he had already settled in.
However, to his surprise, he saw a whole other name blinking on the screen, his frown turning into a bright smile instantly as he answered.
"Hey Codes."
"Hey Teddy… and? Have you settled in already?"
He greened widely, though Cody could not see him at all, nodding his head as he let his gaze once again drift around his living room.
"Yupp… it feels great to finally have a home again. My own damn four walls."
The sigh he got before the actual answer made him alerted to Cody's current situation again.
"That sounds amazing."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
God, that sadness in Cody's voice almost made his heart break in two. He could not handle it.
"Codes… why did ya really call?"
"What are you talking…"
"Codes… please… you trust me, right?"
He could hear another sigh from the younger man on the other end and before he could answer, he cut him off again.
"Listen… I should have told you that last weekend already, but I kinda guessed you already knew it. Codes, whatever it is, you can always talk to me. I'm always there to listen, man. Whenever you need someone, I'm right there."
"I just… well… I…"
He could hear another heart-wrenching sob, followed by quiet sniffling, closing his eyes for a moment to concentrate on the task… the task that was to make Cody happy.
"It's just so… I don't understand it, Teddy… you know? Why… why has he cheated? Why did he do that to me? Why am I always the one being treated like shit? Why can't I be happy for once? I just want to… I just… want someone to be there for me, to hold me, to… love me back… someone to not just see me as a fucking object, as a sex-toy…"
As Cody's voice trailed off, so did Ted's mind. His friend could do so much better, could find someone a lot nicer, someone caring. He knew it for sure since it was the same thing he kept telling himself ever since Mike had gone nuts, even long before their relationship had ended.
Sighing, he listened on to Cody's rambling, just listening, nothing else, giving him an acknowledging hum every now and then so Cody knew that he was still there.
Honestly, Cody had not talked that openly to him in ages, that freely, not since he had started dating Mike and especially not since Cody had started seeing John. For two hours, he listened on as Cody complained about his past relationships, his love life, the men in general, about everyone treating him as if he was either a kid or a toy, no one taking him serious, not even Randy.
Ted's mind drifted off several times, thinking, imagining how it would be like if HE was the one on Cody's side, how they would work as a couple, if they would make it work, if he would do the same mistakes Cena had done… well… definitely not the cheating one. Cody was way too good, too loving, too kind to be treated like this, to be cheated on.
And several times Ted had to stop himself from trailing off to far -though wondering about his true feelings for Cody- to remind himself that he had just come out of a catastrophic relationship himself, that he was glad to be single, that somewhere deep inside it still felt like cheating on Mike, that he needed time to heal… and thus also went for Cody.
I know, I know... lots of drama and stuff. Too much? You like it? Any ideas for the future? Any suggestions?
And yes, I know some of you will hate me now for pairing Mike with Stephen, but I dun care.