Bare Fic: Roll the Dice, Matt Planned the Party
Title: Roll the Dice, Matt Planned the Party (Full)
Writer: Left_of_Weir
Fandom: bare: a pop opera
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Peter/Jason
Summary:
Part One: Lucas throws Peter a welcome party. Dice are involved. It ends badly.
Part Two: What happens when Lucas throws Peter a welcome party and everyone goes home.
Roll the Dice, Matt Planned the Party
by Left_of_Weir
Part One
Matt was the first person to arrive, followed by Ivy and Tanya.
“Come in, come in,” said Lucas. “Thank you for helping me welcome Peter to his new home at St. Cecilia’s.”
“Does this mean Lucas is a better roommate than Jason?” Tanya asked.
“You better believe it,” Lucas said. Peter shrugged and kissed Tanya, then Ivy, on their proffered cheeks. Matt put his arm around Peter and tapped his shoulder. For a moment, Peter was speechless. It was nice of Lucas to invite some of their friends over to help him feel more confortable with his move. Lucas had enjoyed a single suite since his first year at St. Cecilia’s and this was the first time that he was sharing a room. Peter had felt ill at ease at first, not knowing how Lucas really felt, but he guessed that this party was Lucas’s way of showing him that he really didn’t mind having Peter around.
Lucas was still busy playing the magnanimous host. “Come in, sit down, make yourselves comfortable.” In response to their guests’ puzzled looks, Lucas explained, “We put our chairs inside the bathroom, behind the shower curtain. We thought that would make more space. See?” Peter and Lucas had already pushed the beds back against the wall, leaving a small area of around four feet square in the middle of the room. There was momentary confusion as Tanya and Ivy settled in. Matt sat down beside Ivy, while Lucas huddled near Tanya. The space was so small that their shoulders were wedged against each other. Peter was about to sit down beside Lucas when they heard someone knock.
“Last one standing opens the door,” Lucas said. He had already produced a bottle wrapped inside a paper bag and several plastic cups. He poured out pale amber liquid into one of the cups and handed it to Tanya. She sniffed it suspiciously.
“You have got to be kidding,” Tanya said and put it down on the floor.
“I’ll take it,” said Ivy and grabbed for the cup. In reaching for it, she released the smell of jasmine and roses in the air. Matt breathed in deeply and restrained himself from leaning in closer to her.
Tanya looked at Ivy disapprovingly. “You haven’t even had dinner yet.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Lucas said. “If I am right, the sound we just heard was that of dinner.” Lucas winked at Peter but he had already turned away to answer the knock.
“Somebody called for pizza?” Jason stood outside the door, cradling a box of pizza, two liters of Coke and a small bucket filled with ice. Peter staggered backwards, speechless. Lucas didn’t say anything about inviting Jason.
“Having a party?” Jason asked but made no move to come in.
“Just a little something something,” Lucas replied without making any attempt to stand up. “Come in, come in. Peter, help him with the Cokes.”
Peter had no choice but to take the soda and the ice from Jason. He still couldn’t say a word. He hadn't spoken to Jason since he moved out and moved in with Lucas. He had gotten adept at avoiding Jason in the hallways, the mess hall, and other common areas. This was the first time he and Jason were in an enclosed space together. Peter's face felt hot and flushed. Jason, on the other hand, just looked uncomfortable.
“Well, let the man in with the food,” Tanya called out. Peter stepped aside to make room but Jason stayed where he was and merely tried to hand over the pizza. However, Peter already had his hands full and the others, already settled in, made no move to stand up from where they were sitting.
“For goodness’s sake, Jason,” Matt called out sharply. “Come in before the Prefect catches us outside our rooms after lights out.”
Jason had no choice but to step inside. He nudged the door closed with his shoulder and made his way to the circle.
“Sit here, Jason,” Ivy giggled and moved away from Matt. Jason sat down beside her and handed the pizza box to Matt who opened it and put in on the floor.
“Nobody tells me anything anymore. You just told me to sneak food up from the mess hall,” Jason said.
“That should have been a clue,” said Lucas. He rubbed his hands at the sight of the pizza, with extra toppings. “Good job, Jason. Lots and lots of bacon and cheese, just the way Tanya and I like it.”
“Leave it to Jason to find a way to the mess hall at night,” sneered Matt. “I’m sure it was no trouble at all for you, Champ.”
Lucas stopped in the act of feeding Tanya a slice of pizza, while Tanya gave out a startled gasp. Peter, who was still standing by the door, stood very still, afraid to meet Jason’s eyes. Only Ivy, who was busy with her drink, seemed to be indifferent to what just happened.
“Does he know?” Tanya asked Lucas, who shook his head warningly.
“What? What did I say?” asked Matt.
Jason waited a few moments before replying. “You’re not the only one who has keys to the Church’s property, you know. You have keys to the van, I have keys to the kitchen.” He gave the gang the same smile he wore whenever he managed a steal on the basketball court.
Matt laughed. “Why am I not surprised? So if I need food delivered, you’re my go-to guy?”
Jason gave him a friendly punch on the shoulder. “You bet.”
Relieved, Peter made his way to the edge of the circle and sat down between Lucas and Matt. Ivy sat directly across him, but he still had a good view of Jason. Lucas and Tanya were already helping themselves to another slice. Matt poured out the Cokes, while Ivy refilled her cup from Lucas’s bottle.
Peter noticed that Jason wasn’t eating anything. “Not hungry?” he stammered.
Jason shook his head. “Too tired to eat. Maybe later.”
Peter nodded and reached for a slice. For a few minutes, there was silence as the friends ate and Ivy drank.
The old Peter would have offered to save me some pizza for later, thought Jason, then realized how selfish that sounded. That’s why you have old Peter and new Peter, he scolded himself. Let’s try harder to have an old Jason and new Jason, shall we?
Jason glanced in Peter’s direction to see if Peter had read his mind but Peter was staring at his pizza attentively, as if it held the secret to eternal life.
Peter mentally counted the slices of pizza left and wondered how long it would take for the party to break up. So much for my welcoming party, he thought. Damn Lucas for not warning us that he invited Jason up. Now Ivy is drunk, Matt is glowering in rage, and I’m dying over here. He glared at Lucas and Tania. At least they have each other, Peter thought, and the thought filled him with pain. He felt Jason’s eyes on him and he studiously avoided his friend’s gaze. A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun. He remembered this fragment of a poem and realized how appropriate it was. I’m not going to look. People who look directly at the sun go blind. I’m not going to make the same mistake again, he told himself. Instead, he stared at his pizza and counted how many toppings there were. Lucas wasn’t kidding. Jason went all out in raiding the kitchen. There were enough toppings here for at least two pizzas.
“Aren’t we having games? What’s a party without games?”
The five were startled at Ivy’s sudden outburst.
“Somebody forgot to eat before drinking,” Tanya said. “Here, honey.” She handed Ivy a slice of pizza. “If you eat this, Uncle Lucas will come up with a game.”
Lucas shook his head in protest. “I’ve got nothing.”
“Nothing?” Tanya screeched. “You’re the one who organized this party.”
“Umm, yeah? I’ve got the food and the drinks - well, Jason got the food and I got the drinks. How much more welcome does Peter need?” Lucas replied, then saw the expression on Peter’s face. “Ooops.”
“I didn’t really expect anything . . .” Peter said. Oh, good, he thought. Everybody’s fed, well, everybody except Jason and Ivy. This party is going to break up soon and everybody can just return to their own rooms.
“I’ve got something.” Matt took out a pair of twelve-sided dice from his shirt pocket. One had the words Lick, Stroke, Kiss, Squeeze, Tie, Scratch, Slap, Bite, Tickle, Nibble, Free, and Choose on it while the other featured the words Face, Cheek, Neck, Back, Lips, Feet, Hands, Thighs, Stomach, Chest, Butt and Choose.
“Ohhhh, naughty,” said Ivy. “Where did you get them?”
“I’m full of surprises,” said Matt and leaned in to show Ivy the dice. But Lucas was quicker and had the dice in his hands before Matt could stop him. Lucas rolled them around in his palm a few times before handing them over to Tanya.
“We need another die,” said Tanya. “Otherwise, how would we know whom we’re doing it to?”
“I’ve got an idea,” said Lucas. He went to his bookcase and found a regular six-sided die while Matt and Peter cleared away the remains of their meal. With a Sharpie, he inked J, M, I, P, L, and T on it. “This should work,” he said and tossed the makeshift die in the center of the circle where Tanya had put the other two dice.
“I’ll go first.” Ivy grabbed the dice and put them to her lips, then threw them in Jason’s direction. Jason bent his head but didn’t say anything.
The dice rolled Slap and Cheek and Jason. Peter saw Jason flinch, followed by . . . was that relief?
“Oh! Oh!” Ivy squealed and Matt couldn’t tell if she was disappointed or excited. She overbalanced as she leaned over to slap Jason. Her hand left a glancing blow on Jason’s cheek before she landed on the carpet, face up. Matt could see her full breasts heaving through her thin silk patterned blouse. He reached out to her but it was Jason who helped her sit up.
“Are you all right?” Matt said.
“You’re loaded,” Jason said.
Ivy shook her head at Jason's accusatory tone. “Let’s go again. Your turn, Peter.”
Peter was about to object that it wasn’t his turn but changed his mind. He tossed the dice and got Tie and Hands and, again, Jason. Jason paled visibly but didn’t protest. Instead, he wordlessly held out his hands, wrists together, palms facing each other, a mocking smile on his lips. Peter blushed.
“This is a stupid game,” he said. He almost stood up to leave before he realized that he had nowhere to go.
“C’mon, Peter. Don’t be a Nadia,” Lucas said. “Sorry, Jason, but you have to admit your sister’s a spoilsport.”
“She’s not spoiling anything now,” said Matt.
“She’s locked herself up in our room, playing that fraking cello again,” Ivy growled. “Anyway,” she said, looking around Lucas’ and Peter’s narrow dorm room, “it’s not like there’s space for her around here.”
“Play nice,” said Tanya and tried to take away Ivy’s glass but the other clung to it determinedly until Tanya decided to just let it go.
Lucas stood up and rummaged in his drawer. “I know I have some here. A-ha!” He triumphantly pulled out a roll of duct tape and tossed it towards Peter who caught it fumble handedly. Peter looked at it confusedly.
“What am I supposed to do with this?” he asked.
“Tie and Hands, dummy,” Matt snorted. “I can do it for you if you don’t know how.”
Jason immediately put down his hands. “Hey, wait a minute! That’s not part of the game!” he said. Everybody heard the alarm in Jason’s voice and Jason blushed, knowing how much his voice betrayed him. He looked at Peter in mute appeal.
“No, no, I’ll do it,” Peter said and knelt in front of Jason, who had put up his hands again without protest. He rolled down Jason’s sleeves before carefully wrapping a roll of duct tape around his friend’s wrists, making sure that the tape touched only cloth. Peter could only imagine how much it would hurt to remove the tape later if it was placed on bare skin.
“Am I doing it right?” he asked Jason. With all their friends crowding around the two of them in the small room, there was no way for him to ask the real question burning on his lips but Jason read his mind.
“C’mon, Peter, is that all you’ve got?” Jason said. Peter ducked his head and avoided his eyes.
Jason had meant it to be reassuring but he saw that once again, he had said the wrong thing. Show him that you're new Jason now, he prompted himself but came up with nothing.
“Tighter, then,” said Matt. The look on his face was a challenge. Peter, kneeling in front of Jason with his back to Matt, couldn’t see the expression on Matt's face. Jason, however, could see Matt clearly enough. He realized that without Peter there to guard him, Matt would turn against him like a feral dog.
“You should roll it once more or else he’ll escape,” slurred Ivy beside Jason and giggled.
Peter wrapped the tape twice more around Jason’s wrists, making sure it wasn’t tight enough to cut off circulation, but not too loose that Jason could get free without any help. He had been going to do just one token wraparound as a concession to the game, but Jason’s words had come off as a taunt. Let’s see if I help you get out of that, he thought, as he snipped off the end of the roll with a pair of scissors Lucas had handed to him.
“Roll the next dice,” Lucas said impatiently as everybody settled back into place around the circle. Jason sat awkwardly in the lotus position, looking down on the ground, his elbows resting on his thighs, his bound wrists resting against his forehead. Peter couldn’t see his face.
Peter mirrored the way Jason was sitting. He felt his muscles tense at the unfamiliar pose and realized that Jason would cramp up if left in that position for long. I should have propped him against a wall, Peter thought, but Jason was seated furthest from any support. While Peter wondered how he could maneuver the gang into a new configuration, Ivy leaned heavily on the bound boy. Jason staggered with the extra weight but his hands weren’t free to balance him. He pitched forward and Matt propped him back up.
“Easy, Ivy,” said Tania. “He’s a little helpless against your charms right now.”
“Just the way I like him,” Ivy cooed. She put her arms around Jason’s shoulders, and for a change, Jason didn’t move away. Instead, he leaned in closer, pressing heavily against Ivy. Neither Matt nor Peter missed how Ivy grinned in triumph.
Matt filled his cup, from Lucas’s bottle this time, and drank deep. “Who’s next? Maybe somebody will get lucky . . . too.”
Lucas swooped in and grabbed the dice. He wanted to get Kiss and Lips with Tanya but instead he got Slap, Butt and himself.
“Do over!” he protested, but Tanya refused and Lucas had to slap himself on his own butt.
When Tanya rolled, she got Choose, Choose and Lucas.
“Well, that’s almost as good,” Lucas grinned, but Tanya only squeezed his cheeks and said, “Who’s a cute boy, huh? Who’s a cute widdle baby boi?”
When it was Matt’s turn, he rolled Tie, Lips and Jason.
“No fair,” said Peter before he could stop himself. “I mean, it’s not like he’s been talking his head off all night.”
“I didn’t think you noticed,” said Jason.
Matt was already taking off his tie.
“No, Matt, use this,” said Ivy, as she struggled to take off her bra.
“Ohhh, gross! Both of you!” said Tanya. She ripped off a strip of duct tape and handed it to Matt. “Here! Just use this.”
“Don’t I get untied first?” asked Jason.
“Not until somebody rolls Choose,” Matt replied and pressed the tape hard on Jason’s lips. Jason wished he had drunk some water before being gagged but it was too late now. He didn’t realize how thirsty he was, and his shoulders were starting to burn. He could feel his wrists getting numb. Why did Peter have to wrap him up so tightly? But he wasn’t going to make a sign. He’ll wait until somebody rolls to free him or until the game ends.
“Your turn, Jason,” said Lucas. “You can roll the dice, can’t you?”
Jason nodded and took the dice from Lucas. He dropped rather than threw the dice and they rolled close to Peter’s feet. Jason couldn’t see what they said.
“Kiss, Lips and . . . Ivy,” Peter called out.
“I knew it!” Ivy squealed. “How do I take this off?”
“Not until somebody rolls Choose, Ivy.” Jason realized that it was Peter who said that. He looked at Peter, wanting his friend to see how glad he was to hear it, but Peter was glowering in that frightening new way of his that left Jason feeling like a stranger in his presence. Harsh, he thought. The old Peter was soft and gentle, new Peter is harsh and made of tempered steel. The new Peter frightened him. Did I do that? he asked himself. And if it was my fault, how do I change things back?
Ivy too heard the warning in Peter's voice. “Whatever, Peter!” she said but planted a long lingering kiss on Jason’s gag anyway. Jason could feel her lips through the duct tape and was suddenly thankful for Matt. Peter saw how both Jason and Ivy closed their eyes for the kiss and felt naked and raw. He glanced at Matt and knew from the expression on his face that Matt was feeling the same way.
Ivy pulled away first. She felt breathless and lightheaded. She remembered the note of censure in Peter's voice. Suddenly, she felt like she was the center of attention. Again. Stupid Ivy, too eager Ivy. Why can't you play it cool? she asked herself. Stupid, stupid. Why do you do this to yourself? What must your friends think of you? What must Jason think of you?
“I don’t feel too good,” she said. At the same time, Matt said, “This is a stupid game.”
“Nadia should be asleep by now,” Ivy said, suddenly sober. She stood up, shivering like a bamboo in the wind. Matt also stood up and put out an arm to steady her.
"I'll walk you to your room," Matt said. "If Nadia’s still awake, I’ll knock her out for you.”
“Awww, my hero. Good night, everyone,” said Ivy and led the way out. Matt followed quickly, leaving his dice behind. "Bye, guys, see you tomorrow."
“Well, I guess the party’s over,” said Lucas and glanced in Tanya’s direction. Tanya was still playing with the dice in her hands. Lucas looked over at Peter, who read the mute appeal in his friend’s eyes. Peter groaned silently. Since he had moved in with Lucas and Lucas started going out with Tanya, he hadn’t had a chance to be alone in the room or sleep in earlier than past midnight. His body was protesting the lack of sleep. After tonight, he didn’t think he could face another night in the chapel or the gardens, waiting in the darkness until Lucas removed the sock from the doorknob, a sign that he had escorted Tanya back to her room and it was safe for Peter to go back in.
But Lucas did take him in and didn’t say anything when he appeared before his dorm room with suitcase in hand, without any notice. Lucas never even asked him when he was moving back out, even though he was sure that his presence in Lucas’s room was cramping his style with Tanya.
Peter sighed. “You’re not sticking me with the clean up again, Lucas. This party was your idea. I’m going to get some air and when I come back, you better make sure our room passes inspection.”
“I think we should toss for it,” Lucas protested, but Tanya shook her head. It took a while for Lucas to understand, but when he got it, his face broke out in a huge grin. “Oh, of course, Peter. Father will never find out we had an after school special here.”
Jason gurgled from behind his gag in protest. This party didn’t end up the way he expected. His friends were totally ignoring him. Were they really going to leave him to spend the night like this?
Part Two
Jason wondered if he should take the tape off his mouth now that the party seemed to be over. Before he could do so, he felt Peter’s hands on his arms, holding them down. He decided to wait to see what Peter had planned. Peter’s touch, after weeks of silence, brought him not only pain and regret, but excitement as well.
“C’mon, Jason, I’ll take you to your room. Let’s leave Lucas to do the clean-up,” Peter said.
“You’re not going out the halls like that,” Tanya protested.
Lucas laughed. “It’s 1.00 am. Do you think anybody is still prowling the halls at this hour?”
Tanya turned on him. “Lucas, you know Jason can’t afford . . .”
“None of us can afford to be expelled, Tanya,” Lucas grinned. “Do you want me to take you back to your dorm now?”
Tanya pressed a finger on his lips and Lucas shut up fast.
Peter helped Jason up, without making any move to take off his bonds or his gag. Jason suddenly felt nervous. It was a long walk from Lucas’s room to his. Was Peter really going to parade him through the halls tied and gagged like this? With difficulty, Jason quelled his instinct to fight back, and decided to trust in Peter. Having lived with him for the past three years, he knew that Peter was not a cruel boy. On the other hand, if this was Peter taking revenge on him because of what Jason did before vacation, then Jason decided that he probably deserved it.
Peter propped Jason against the wall and went to the bathroom. Jason realized that it was a good thing he didn’t need to go to the bathroom yet and wondered what to do when that happened. He wondered how to communicate with Peter without using his mouth. He started to say something but stopped when he realized that both Tanya and Lucas were staring at him.
“Are you okay, Jason?” Tanya asked in a worried voice.
He nodded and shrugged nonchalantly to reassure Tanya. For once, he decided, he’ll let Peter take control. But he was really really thirsty. He wondered if he should try to get the gag off now while he was still with others. Despite his bravado, there was a part of him that was afraid of what would happen when he would be left alone with Peter. However, he admitted to himself that there was also a part of him that couldn’t wait to find out, and this part had successfully overtaken the first part, smacked it down and run it over in the race to the finish line of Jason’s emotions.
Peter said goodbye for the both of them then gently steered Jason in the darkened halls. Jason could hardly contain his excitement at knowing that Peter was coming home with him. The smell of Peter so close to him was intoxicating. He couldn’t wait for the two of them to get back to their room. The touch of Peter’s hands on his shoulders reminded him of how perfect things were before and he wondered if it was safe for him to lean in and rest his head on Peter’s arm as they slowly made their way in the dark.
Although it was light enough for them to walk, Peter kept one arm around Jason’s shoulders and kept a careful watch for others although the hallway was deserted. He didn’t want Jason stumbling in the dark and getting hurt because of him. He didn’t know why he didn’t untie Jason while they were still in Lucas’s room. All he knew was that he wanted to humiliate Jason before Ivy. Well that worked out well for all of you, didn’t it, he thought to himself and blushed at such an uncharitable thought. He had always thought himself to be a good person. A good person who ties up his best friend. The Peter inside Peter's head went, Neener, neener, neener! and he blushed.
When they got to Jason’s door, Peter didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want Jason to know that he still had keys to the room, which left the problem of the locked door. While he was thinking, Jason reached for Peter’s hand and guided it to his pants pocket. Startled, Peter jerked his hand away before he realized that Jason was telling him where the keys were. Embarrassed, he retrieved the keys, careful not to touch Jason anymore than he could help. He unlocked the door and helped Jason inside the room before closing the door behind him.
Both stood awkwardly, waiting for the other to make the first move. Peter couldn’t help himself any longer and pressed his lips against the tape that kept Jason’s lips from him. He tasted raspberries from where Ivy’s lipstick had left its mark and the bitter metallic aftertaste of the duct tape. He pressed urgently but he couldn’t feel if Jason was kissing him back.
Jason wanted to grab Peter’s shirt and pull him closer to him. Being kissed by Peter again after weeks of silence felt so good. But his bound hands couldn’t get a purchase and his arms were in the way, preventing him from bridging the distance between the two of them. He raised his arms, intending to put his arms around Peter’s neck, but Peter thought Jason was trying to push him off and jerked away.
“I’m sorry,” said Peter. “I didn’t mean to do that.”
Jason raised his hands to his mouth and ripped off the tape, wincing at how it made his lips and cheeks burn and sting. He licked his dry lips and reached out to kiss Peter before the other could say anything more. Peter kissed him back urgently, then reached down and undid Jason’s buckle and pulled down Jason’s pants. Jason kept his bound hands above his shoulders and out of the way.
Gently, Peter reached down and found his rhythm. It felt strange doing Jason like this, Peter thought. Perhaps he should untie Jason first.
“Don’t stop,” Jason groaned. Peter could hear the urgency in his voice.
“Am I doing it right?” he asked. “Are you okay?”
“Hurry, Peter.”
Peter gently maneuvered Jason to the bed and helped him lie down. As Jason lay back and sighed in relief at finally being able to have some support for his quickly tiring arms, Peter kissed him passionately. The scent of Jason brought back powerful memories and Peter was nearly overwhelmed. He knelt down and tried to be gentle in his eagerness.
“Peter, I missed you so much,” Jason said. He wanted to say more but at that moment, a shudder of pure pleasure rushed through him and he had to stifle his shout of pure happiness.
When he finished, Peter took off his pants and lay beside Jason, waiting for his turn. But Jason didn’t make a move. Puzzled, Peter raised himself on one elbow to have a better look at him. Jason was lying on his back, his arms flung over his head, looking not at Peter but towards the ceiling.
“Peter,” Jason said in a small voice. “My arms are starting to cramp.”
Peter scrambled off the bed. He should have known! he scolded himself. It had been some time since they left Lucas’s room. Of course Jason must be in agony by now. Too embarrassed to say anything, Peter stood up and went to the study table to look for a pair of scissors. For the first time, he saw how messy the room had become since he had left. Jason was never a very tidy boy but Peter had been there to help straighten up. Now, dirty laundry was on the floor, papers and books were everywhere, and clothes were hanging off every available surface, including what had been his bed. He couldn’t find anything in the mess that Jason left the room in.
Another stupid mistake, Peter thought. He should have brought Lucas’s scissors with him when they left the room. That way, it would be handy when he needed to cut Jason loose, instead of making him wait like this. Jason must think him the stupidest person in the world.
Jason felt Peter get off the bed and watched him walk away and turn his back to him. He hadn’t been kidding, his shoulders were really starting to burn. He flexed his fingers in an attempt to promote blood flow, and wondered if they would drop off if they were deprived of circulation for too long. And he was still thirsty. And instead of helping him, Peter was opening drawers and overturning his papers on his desk. Jason suddenly recalled the times when he failed to satisfy Peter after getting pleasure in return and realized that Peter probably thought it was just another one of those times. No wonder he’s stopped talking to me, Jason thought. I wouldn’t keep myself around for long either.
But the pain between his shoulders was more urgent matter than self-reflection. Jason wondered if he should start gnawing on the tape and try to remove his bonds with his teeth, but changed his mind. Trying to get free without permission is probably not allowed, thought Jason. Would he settle for begging? At this point, Jason was willing to try anything.
But perhaps he could try something else first.
“I’m thirsty,” said Jason then cursed himself for how that must have sounded to Peter. Even tied up, you’re still giving orders. I don’t think that’s how Peter intended you to play this game.
Peter was startled away from his search. “I’m sorry.” He scratched his head. “If I bring you something to drink, will you promise not to spit at me?”
Jason’s shoulders slumped. There seemed to be no way to win this conversation, he thought.
Peter was torn between getting Jason something to drink or continuing the hunt for a pair of scissors. He didn’t know what Jason needed him to do first. Maybe he should just untie Jason so that he could get his own drink. Clearly, he wasn’t interested in drinking water. In his confusion, Peter continued to rummage through the desk drawers, uncertain whether he was looking for Jason’s alcohol stash or a pair of scissors. But while rummaging through the last drawer, he finally found what he was looking for.
Jason saw Peter coming at him with the box cutter. “Ngggghhh!” he cried out and put up his hands to try to defend himself. Oh my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, he raced quickly through the Act of Contrition. However, it was only Peter slicing through the duct tape. The relief he felt at being freed of his bonds was palpable, although he winced at the pain of having blood rush through his veins again.
Peter slid the box cutter back in its protective sheath and put it down carefully. He sat down and gently took Jason's hands, massaging first one wrist, then the other, looking down the entire time. When he could feel his hands again, Jason put out his free hand and put it on top of Peter’s. Look at me, Jason willed him, but Peter kept his head down and continued to caress Jason's arm. He didn’t want to see the accusation in Jason’s eyes. He felt Jason’s free hand explore his pants but he pushed it away, realizing that Jason had probably been through enough for one night.
Jason tried to overcome Peter’s efforts to block his hand from the latter’s pants. Now he’s no longer in the mood, thought Jason and realized that Peter was probably still thinking that Jason was refusing to do his turn. He couldn’t blame Peter for thinking that. Jason’s face burned as he remembered when he abandoned Peter after Peter had jacked him off, because he had to study or turn in a paper, or worse, because one of the guys had called him out to play.
Jason tried to put his arm around Peter to try to get him back to bed. There was nothing he wanted more than to cuddle up with him. Perhaps he could get Peter back in the mood again and give him as good as Peter had given him earlier. But Peter had already stood up to put the box cutter back in its place. While he was at desk, Peter couldn’t help but straighten up a few loose papers and put some books back in place.
“Will you please stop cleaning up?” Jason said but he said it more harshly than he intended.
Peter was startled into letting go of the books he had been trying to shelve. In doing so, his gaze fell onto a loose sheet of paper that contained Jason’s full schedule. He couldn't help noticing that the words Kitchen Duty were on it.
Of course Jason didn’t want him fiddling with his stuff, Peter thought. Clearly, he lost all rights to the room when he made the decision to move out. He probably thinks I’m snooping, Peter thought and blushed in guilt. He wondered if Jason knew he still had his key to their room.
He looked at Jason but Jason was now busy massaging his wrists. He figured that Jason was irritated at him for leaving him tied up for too long. That must have really hurt, Peter thought, and waited in vain for that feeling of satisfaction at having hurt somebody who had hurt him. All he felt was guilt, and grief in failing to bridge the gulf between them.
“I’m sorry,” said Peter but Jason was focused on his wrists.
“It’s late,” said Jason. But Peter heard only Jason’s words and failed to pick up on the invitation in his voice. As he turned away to pick up the books he had dropped earlier in order to shelve them properly, Peter missed how Jason patted the space on the bed beside him. He couldn't bear to see their room in such a mess. Their room looked as if it had been used as an arena for the Extreme Fighting Championships.
“You’re right, it’s late,” Peter said. He picked up Jason's schedule, noted when Jason was on Kitchen Duty for future reference, and carefully tacked it up on the wall as a last gesture of goodwill. It fluttered to the floor and Peter had to try twice more before it stuck. He looked around the room and was overwhelmed by how much work still needed to be done. I can't fix this, Peter thought.
"I know you have to be up early tomorrow,” he said awkwardly, "so I'll see you tomorrow, I guess." Peter picked up his pants from the floor and put them on again.
That was not the response Jason had been hoping for. It used to be that we could read each other’s minds, he thought. What have I done? Aren't you just so good at everything you do, Jason scolded himself ironically.
"Wait, wait, don't go,” said Jason, getting off from the bed and stood in front of the door, barring Peter from going out. He wondered what he could say to make it right.
“Lucas is probably still tidying up there, you know?" Jason said. "And, well, here there's an extra bed."
Both of them looked at the mess that Jason had made of Peter’s bed. They could hardly see the pillows or sheets underneath the clothes and dirty towels and socks. Peter thought of his nice clean bed in Lucas’s room and suddenly felt tired. It had been a long night. He knew Jason was right. Lucas and Tanya were most likely still together and he would just end up wandering the halls of St. Cecilia until he could go back to bed. If he left here, he would have nowhere to go.
Jason’s hand felt so right in his, so warm and comforting. He hadn’t felt this way for a long time. And he was tired, so tired.
“Please stay,” Jason whispered urgently. He was still thirsty, but his hunger and his longing for Peter was even greater. He knew that if he let Peter go now, he might not get a second chance. “Please, Peter. We’ll talk about everything in the morning.”
Jason’s words hit the right mark. Peter let himself feel hope for the first time in a very long while.
“Talk is good,” said Peter guardedly.
Jason agreed. The last thing he wanted was to spook Peter and cause him to run away again. “Please let's not ever not talk again.”
“No, never,” said Peter solemnly.
Jason reached for Peter, held him tight, and nuzzled him gently behind the ear. “We can talk tomorrow. But tonight, I can think of other things we can do tonight.”
Peter smiled and allowed Jason to lead him home.
Writer: Left_of_Weir
Fandom: bare: a pop opera
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Peter/Jason
Summary:
Part One: Lucas throws Peter a welcome party. Dice are involved. It ends badly.
Part Two: What happens when Lucas throws Peter a welcome party and everyone goes home.
Roll the Dice, Matt Planned the Party
by Left_of_Weir
Part One
Matt was the first person to arrive, followed by Ivy and Tanya.
“Come in, come in,” said Lucas. “Thank you for helping me welcome Peter to his new home at St. Cecilia’s.”
“Does this mean Lucas is a better roommate than Jason?” Tanya asked.
“You better believe it,” Lucas said. Peter shrugged and kissed Tanya, then Ivy, on their proffered cheeks. Matt put his arm around Peter and tapped his shoulder. For a moment, Peter was speechless. It was nice of Lucas to invite some of their friends over to help him feel more confortable with his move. Lucas had enjoyed a single suite since his first year at St. Cecilia’s and this was the first time that he was sharing a room. Peter had felt ill at ease at first, not knowing how Lucas really felt, but he guessed that this party was Lucas’s way of showing him that he really didn’t mind having Peter around.
Lucas was still busy playing the magnanimous host. “Come in, sit down, make yourselves comfortable.” In response to their guests’ puzzled looks, Lucas explained, “We put our chairs inside the bathroom, behind the shower curtain. We thought that would make more space. See?” Peter and Lucas had already pushed the beds back against the wall, leaving a small area of around four feet square in the middle of the room. There was momentary confusion as Tanya and Ivy settled in. Matt sat down beside Ivy, while Lucas huddled near Tanya. The space was so small that their shoulders were wedged against each other. Peter was about to sit down beside Lucas when they heard someone knock.
“Last one standing opens the door,” Lucas said. He had already produced a bottle wrapped inside a paper bag and several plastic cups. He poured out pale amber liquid into one of the cups and handed it to Tanya. She sniffed it suspiciously.
“You have got to be kidding,” Tanya said and put it down on the floor.
“I’ll take it,” said Ivy and grabbed for the cup. In reaching for it, she released the smell of jasmine and roses in the air. Matt breathed in deeply and restrained himself from leaning in closer to her.
Tanya looked at Ivy disapprovingly. “You haven’t even had dinner yet.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Lucas said. “If I am right, the sound we just heard was that of dinner.” Lucas winked at Peter but he had already turned away to answer the knock.
“Somebody called for pizza?” Jason stood outside the door, cradling a box of pizza, two liters of Coke and a small bucket filled with ice. Peter staggered backwards, speechless. Lucas didn’t say anything about inviting Jason.
“Having a party?” Jason asked but made no move to come in.
“Just a little something something,” Lucas replied without making any attempt to stand up. “Come in, come in. Peter, help him with the Cokes.”
Peter had no choice but to take the soda and the ice from Jason. He still couldn’t say a word. He hadn't spoken to Jason since he moved out and moved in with Lucas. He had gotten adept at avoiding Jason in the hallways, the mess hall, and other common areas. This was the first time he and Jason were in an enclosed space together. Peter's face felt hot and flushed. Jason, on the other hand, just looked uncomfortable.
“Well, let the man in with the food,” Tanya called out. Peter stepped aside to make room but Jason stayed where he was and merely tried to hand over the pizza. However, Peter already had his hands full and the others, already settled in, made no move to stand up from where they were sitting.
“For goodness’s sake, Jason,” Matt called out sharply. “Come in before the Prefect catches us outside our rooms after lights out.”
Jason had no choice but to step inside. He nudged the door closed with his shoulder and made his way to the circle.
“Sit here, Jason,” Ivy giggled and moved away from Matt. Jason sat down beside her and handed the pizza box to Matt who opened it and put in on the floor.
“Nobody tells me anything anymore. You just told me to sneak food up from the mess hall,” Jason said.
“That should have been a clue,” said Lucas. He rubbed his hands at the sight of the pizza, with extra toppings. “Good job, Jason. Lots and lots of bacon and cheese, just the way Tanya and I like it.”
“Leave it to Jason to find a way to the mess hall at night,” sneered Matt. “I’m sure it was no trouble at all for you, Champ.”
Lucas stopped in the act of feeding Tanya a slice of pizza, while Tanya gave out a startled gasp. Peter, who was still standing by the door, stood very still, afraid to meet Jason’s eyes. Only Ivy, who was busy with her drink, seemed to be indifferent to what just happened.
“Does he know?” Tanya asked Lucas, who shook his head warningly.
“What? What did I say?” asked Matt.
Jason waited a few moments before replying. “You’re not the only one who has keys to the Church’s property, you know. You have keys to the van, I have keys to the kitchen.” He gave the gang the same smile he wore whenever he managed a steal on the basketball court.
Matt laughed. “Why am I not surprised? So if I need food delivered, you’re my go-to guy?”
Jason gave him a friendly punch on the shoulder. “You bet.”
Relieved, Peter made his way to the edge of the circle and sat down between Lucas and Matt. Ivy sat directly across him, but he still had a good view of Jason. Lucas and Tanya were already helping themselves to another slice. Matt poured out the Cokes, while Ivy refilled her cup from Lucas’s bottle.
Peter noticed that Jason wasn’t eating anything. “Not hungry?” he stammered.
Jason shook his head. “Too tired to eat. Maybe later.”
Peter nodded and reached for a slice. For a few minutes, there was silence as the friends ate and Ivy drank.
The old Peter would have offered to save me some pizza for later, thought Jason, then realized how selfish that sounded. That’s why you have old Peter and new Peter, he scolded himself. Let’s try harder to have an old Jason and new Jason, shall we?
Jason glanced in Peter’s direction to see if Peter had read his mind but Peter was staring at his pizza attentively, as if it held the secret to eternal life.
Peter mentally counted the slices of pizza left and wondered how long it would take for the party to break up. So much for my welcoming party, he thought. Damn Lucas for not warning us that he invited Jason up. Now Ivy is drunk, Matt is glowering in rage, and I’m dying over here. He glared at Lucas and Tania. At least they have each other, Peter thought, and the thought filled him with pain. He felt Jason’s eyes on him and he studiously avoided his friend’s gaze. A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun. He remembered this fragment of a poem and realized how appropriate it was. I’m not going to look. People who look directly at the sun go blind. I’m not going to make the same mistake again, he told himself. Instead, he stared at his pizza and counted how many toppings there were. Lucas wasn’t kidding. Jason went all out in raiding the kitchen. There were enough toppings here for at least two pizzas.
“Aren’t we having games? What’s a party without games?”
The five were startled at Ivy’s sudden outburst.
“Somebody forgot to eat before drinking,” Tanya said. “Here, honey.” She handed Ivy a slice of pizza. “If you eat this, Uncle Lucas will come up with a game.”
Lucas shook his head in protest. “I’ve got nothing.”
“Nothing?” Tanya screeched. “You’re the one who organized this party.”
“Umm, yeah? I’ve got the food and the drinks - well, Jason got the food and I got the drinks. How much more welcome does Peter need?” Lucas replied, then saw the expression on Peter’s face. “Ooops.”
“I didn’t really expect anything . . .” Peter said. Oh, good, he thought. Everybody’s fed, well, everybody except Jason and Ivy. This party is going to break up soon and everybody can just return to their own rooms.
“I’ve got something.” Matt took out a pair of twelve-sided dice from his shirt pocket. One had the words Lick, Stroke, Kiss, Squeeze, Tie, Scratch, Slap, Bite, Tickle, Nibble, Free, and Choose on it while the other featured the words Face, Cheek, Neck, Back, Lips, Feet, Hands, Thighs, Stomach, Chest, Butt and Choose.
“Ohhhh, naughty,” said Ivy. “Where did you get them?”
“I’m full of surprises,” said Matt and leaned in to show Ivy the dice. But Lucas was quicker and had the dice in his hands before Matt could stop him. Lucas rolled them around in his palm a few times before handing them over to Tanya.
“We need another die,” said Tanya. “Otherwise, how would we know whom we’re doing it to?”
“I’ve got an idea,” said Lucas. He went to his bookcase and found a regular six-sided die while Matt and Peter cleared away the remains of their meal. With a Sharpie, he inked J, M, I, P, L, and T on it. “This should work,” he said and tossed the makeshift die in the center of the circle where Tanya had put the other two dice.
“I’ll go first.” Ivy grabbed the dice and put them to her lips, then threw them in Jason’s direction. Jason bent his head but didn’t say anything.
The dice rolled Slap and Cheek and Jason. Peter saw Jason flinch, followed by . . . was that relief?
“Oh! Oh!” Ivy squealed and Matt couldn’t tell if she was disappointed or excited. She overbalanced as she leaned over to slap Jason. Her hand left a glancing blow on Jason’s cheek before she landed on the carpet, face up. Matt could see her full breasts heaving through her thin silk patterned blouse. He reached out to her but it was Jason who helped her sit up.
“Are you all right?” Matt said.
“You’re loaded,” Jason said.
Ivy shook her head at Jason's accusatory tone. “Let’s go again. Your turn, Peter.”
Peter was about to object that it wasn’t his turn but changed his mind. He tossed the dice and got Tie and Hands and, again, Jason. Jason paled visibly but didn’t protest. Instead, he wordlessly held out his hands, wrists together, palms facing each other, a mocking smile on his lips. Peter blushed.
“This is a stupid game,” he said. He almost stood up to leave before he realized that he had nowhere to go.
“C’mon, Peter. Don’t be a Nadia,” Lucas said. “Sorry, Jason, but you have to admit your sister’s a spoilsport.”
“She’s not spoiling anything now,” said Matt.
“She’s locked herself up in our room, playing that fraking cello again,” Ivy growled. “Anyway,” she said, looking around Lucas’ and Peter’s narrow dorm room, “it’s not like there’s space for her around here.”
“Play nice,” said Tanya and tried to take away Ivy’s glass but the other clung to it determinedly until Tanya decided to just let it go.
Lucas stood up and rummaged in his drawer. “I know I have some here. A-ha!” He triumphantly pulled out a roll of duct tape and tossed it towards Peter who caught it fumble handedly. Peter looked at it confusedly.
“What am I supposed to do with this?” he asked.
“Tie and Hands, dummy,” Matt snorted. “I can do it for you if you don’t know how.”
Jason immediately put down his hands. “Hey, wait a minute! That’s not part of the game!” he said. Everybody heard the alarm in Jason’s voice and Jason blushed, knowing how much his voice betrayed him. He looked at Peter in mute appeal.
“No, no, I’ll do it,” Peter said and knelt in front of Jason, who had put up his hands again without protest. He rolled down Jason’s sleeves before carefully wrapping a roll of duct tape around his friend’s wrists, making sure that the tape touched only cloth. Peter could only imagine how much it would hurt to remove the tape later if it was placed on bare skin.
“Am I doing it right?” he asked Jason. With all their friends crowding around the two of them in the small room, there was no way for him to ask the real question burning on his lips but Jason read his mind.
“C’mon, Peter, is that all you’ve got?” Jason said. Peter ducked his head and avoided his eyes.
Jason had meant it to be reassuring but he saw that once again, he had said the wrong thing. Show him that you're new Jason now, he prompted himself but came up with nothing.
“Tighter, then,” said Matt. The look on his face was a challenge. Peter, kneeling in front of Jason with his back to Matt, couldn’t see the expression on Matt's face. Jason, however, could see Matt clearly enough. He realized that without Peter there to guard him, Matt would turn against him like a feral dog.
“You should roll it once more or else he’ll escape,” slurred Ivy beside Jason and giggled.
Peter wrapped the tape twice more around Jason’s wrists, making sure it wasn’t tight enough to cut off circulation, but not too loose that Jason could get free without any help. He had been going to do just one token wraparound as a concession to the game, but Jason’s words had come off as a taunt. Let’s see if I help you get out of that, he thought, as he snipped off the end of the roll with a pair of scissors Lucas had handed to him.
“Roll the next dice,” Lucas said impatiently as everybody settled back into place around the circle. Jason sat awkwardly in the lotus position, looking down on the ground, his elbows resting on his thighs, his bound wrists resting against his forehead. Peter couldn’t see his face.
Peter mirrored the way Jason was sitting. He felt his muscles tense at the unfamiliar pose and realized that Jason would cramp up if left in that position for long. I should have propped him against a wall, Peter thought, but Jason was seated furthest from any support. While Peter wondered how he could maneuver the gang into a new configuration, Ivy leaned heavily on the bound boy. Jason staggered with the extra weight but his hands weren’t free to balance him. He pitched forward and Matt propped him back up.
“Easy, Ivy,” said Tania. “He’s a little helpless against your charms right now.”
“Just the way I like him,” Ivy cooed. She put her arms around Jason’s shoulders, and for a change, Jason didn’t move away. Instead, he leaned in closer, pressing heavily against Ivy. Neither Matt nor Peter missed how Ivy grinned in triumph.
Matt filled his cup, from Lucas’s bottle this time, and drank deep. “Who’s next? Maybe somebody will get lucky . . . too.”
Lucas swooped in and grabbed the dice. He wanted to get Kiss and Lips with Tanya but instead he got Slap, Butt and himself.
“Do over!” he protested, but Tanya refused and Lucas had to slap himself on his own butt.
When Tanya rolled, she got Choose, Choose and Lucas.
“Well, that’s almost as good,” Lucas grinned, but Tanya only squeezed his cheeks and said, “Who’s a cute boy, huh? Who’s a cute widdle baby boi?”
When it was Matt’s turn, he rolled Tie, Lips and Jason.
“No fair,” said Peter before he could stop himself. “I mean, it’s not like he’s been talking his head off all night.”
“I didn’t think you noticed,” said Jason.
Matt was already taking off his tie.
“No, Matt, use this,” said Ivy, as she struggled to take off her bra.
“Ohhh, gross! Both of you!” said Tanya. She ripped off a strip of duct tape and handed it to Matt. “Here! Just use this.”
“Don’t I get untied first?” asked Jason.
“Not until somebody rolls Choose,” Matt replied and pressed the tape hard on Jason’s lips. Jason wished he had drunk some water before being gagged but it was too late now. He didn’t realize how thirsty he was, and his shoulders were starting to burn. He could feel his wrists getting numb. Why did Peter have to wrap him up so tightly? But he wasn’t going to make a sign. He’ll wait until somebody rolls to free him or until the game ends.
“Your turn, Jason,” said Lucas. “You can roll the dice, can’t you?”
Jason nodded and took the dice from Lucas. He dropped rather than threw the dice and they rolled close to Peter’s feet. Jason couldn’t see what they said.
“Kiss, Lips and . . . Ivy,” Peter called out.
“I knew it!” Ivy squealed. “How do I take this off?”
“Not until somebody rolls Choose, Ivy.” Jason realized that it was Peter who said that. He looked at Peter, wanting his friend to see how glad he was to hear it, but Peter was glowering in that frightening new way of his that left Jason feeling like a stranger in his presence. Harsh, he thought. The old Peter was soft and gentle, new Peter is harsh and made of tempered steel. The new Peter frightened him. Did I do that? he asked himself. And if it was my fault, how do I change things back?
Ivy too heard the warning in Peter's voice. “Whatever, Peter!” she said but planted a long lingering kiss on Jason’s gag anyway. Jason could feel her lips through the duct tape and was suddenly thankful for Matt. Peter saw how both Jason and Ivy closed their eyes for the kiss and felt naked and raw. He glanced at Matt and knew from the expression on his face that Matt was feeling the same way.
Ivy pulled away first. She felt breathless and lightheaded. She remembered the note of censure in Peter's voice. Suddenly, she felt like she was the center of attention. Again. Stupid Ivy, too eager Ivy. Why can't you play it cool? she asked herself. Stupid, stupid. Why do you do this to yourself? What must your friends think of you? What must Jason think of you?
“I don’t feel too good,” she said. At the same time, Matt said, “This is a stupid game.”
“Nadia should be asleep by now,” Ivy said, suddenly sober. She stood up, shivering like a bamboo in the wind. Matt also stood up and put out an arm to steady her.
"I'll walk you to your room," Matt said. "If Nadia’s still awake, I’ll knock her out for you.”
“Awww, my hero. Good night, everyone,” said Ivy and led the way out. Matt followed quickly, leaving his dice behind. "Bye, guys, see you tomorrow."
“Well, I guess the party’s over,” said Lucas and glanced in Tanya’s direction. Tanya was still playing with the dice in her hands. Lucas looked over at Peter, who read the mute appeal in his friend’s eyes. Peter groaned silently. Since he had moved in with Lucas and Lucas started going out with Tanya, he hadn’t had a chance to be alone in the room or sleep in earlier than past midnight. His body was protesting the lack of sleep. After tonight, he didn’t think he could face another night in the chapel or the gardens, waiting in the darkness until Lucas removed the sock from the doorknob, a sign that he had escorted Tanya back to her room and it was safe for Peter to go back in.
But Lucas did take him in and didn’t say anything when he appeared before his dorm room with suitcase in hand, without any notice. Lucas never even asked him when he was moving back out, even though he was sure that his presence in Lucas’s room was cramping his style with Tanya.
Peter sighed. “You’re not sticking me with the clean up again, Lucas. This party was your idea. I’m going to get some air and when I come back, you better make sure our room passes inspection.”
“I think we should toss for it,” Lucas protested, but Tanya shook her head. It took a while for Lucas to understand, but when he got it, his face broke out in a huge grin. “Oh, of course, Peter. Father will never find out we had an after school special here.”
Jason gurgled from behind his gag in protest. This party didn’t end up the way he expected. His friends were totally ignoring him. Were they really going to leave him to spend the night like this?
Part Two
Jason wondered if he should take the tape off his mouth now that the party seemed to be over. Before he could do so, he felt Peter’s hands on his arms, holding them down. He decided to wait to see what Peter had planned. Peter’s touch, after weeks of silence, brought him not only pain and regret, but excitement as well.
“C’mon, Jason, I’ll take you to your room. Let’s leave Lucas to do the clean-up,” Peter said.
“You’re not going out the halls like that,” Tanya protested.
Lucas laughed. “It’s 1.00 am. Do you think anybody is still prowling the halls at this hour?”
Tanya turned on him. “Lucas, you know Jason can’t afford . . .”
“None of us can afford to be expelled, Tanya,” Lucas grinned. “Do you want me to take you back to your dorm now?”
Tanya pressed a finger on his lips and Lucas shut up fast.
Peter helped Jason up, without making any move to take off his bonds or his gag. Jason suddenly felt nervous. It was a long walk from Lucas’s room to his. Was Peter really going to parade him through the halls tied and gagged like this? With difficulty, Jason quelled his instinct to fight back, and decided to trust in Peter. Having lived with him for the past three years, he knew that Peter was not a cruel boy. On the other hand, if this was Peter taking revenge on him because of what Jason did before vacation, then Jason decided that he probably deserved it.
Peter propped Jason against the wall and went to the bathroom. Jason realized that it was a good thing he didn’t need to go to the bathroom yet and wondered what to do when that happened. He wondered how to communicate with Peter without using his mouth. He started to say something but stopped when he realized that both Tanya and Lucas were staring at him.
“Are you okay, Jason?” Tanya asked in a worried voice.
He nodded and shrugged nonchalantly to reassure Tanya. For once, he decided, he’ll let Peter take control. But he was really really thirsty. He wondered if he should try to get the gag off now while he was still with others. Despite his bravado, there was a part of him that was afraid of what would happen when he would be left alone with Peter. However, he admitted to himself that there was also a part of him that couldn’t wait to find out, and this part had successfully overtaken the first part, smacked it down and run it over in the race to the finish line of Jason’s emotions.
Peter said goodbye for the both of them then gently steered Jason in the darkened halls. Jason could hardly contain his excitement at knowing that Peter was coming home with him. The smell of Peter so close to him was intoxicating. He couldn’t wait for the two of them to get back to their room. The touch of Peter’s hands on his shoulders reminded him of how perfect things were before and he wondered if it was safe for him to lean in and rest his head on Peter’s arm as they slowly made their way in the dark.
Although it was light enough for them to walk, Peter kept one arm around Jason’s shoulders and kept a careful watch for others although the hallway was deserted. He didn’t want Jason stumbling in the dark and getting hurt because of him. He didn’t know why he didn’t untie Jason while they were still in Lucas’s room. All he knew was that he wanted to humiliate Jason before Ivy. Well that worked out well for all of you, didn’t it, he thought to himself and blushed at such an uncharitable thought. He had always thought himself to be a good person. A good person who ties up his best friend. The Peter inside Peter's head went, Neener, neener, neener! and he blushed.
When they got to Jason’s door, Peter didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want Jason to know that he still had keys to the room, which left the problem of the locked door. While he was thinking, Jason reached for Peter’s hand and guided it to his pants pocket. Startled, Peter jerked his hand away before he realized that Jason was telling him where the keys were. Embarrassed, he retrieved the keys, careful not to touch Jason anymore than he could help. He unlocked the door and helped Jason inside the room before closing the door behind him.
Both stood awkwardly, waiting for the other to make the first move. Peter couldn’t help himself any longer and pressed his lips against the tape that kept Jason’s lips from him. He tasted raspberries from where Ivy’s lipstick had left its mark and the bitter metallic aftertaste of the duct tape. He pressed urgently but he couldn’t feel if Jason was kissing him back.
Jason wanted to grab Peter’s shirt and pull him closer to him. Being kissed by Peter again after weeks of silence felt so good. But his bound hands couldn’t get a purchase and his arms were in the way, preventing him from bridging the distance between the two of them. He raised his arms, intending to put his arms around Peter’s neck, but Peter thought Jason was trying to push him off and jerked away.
“I’m sorry,” said Peter. “I didn’t mean to do that.”
Jason raised his hands to his mouth and ripped off the tape, wincing at how it made his lips and cheeks burn and sting. He licked his dry lips and reached out to kiss Peter before the other could say anything more. Peter kissed him back urgently, then reached down and undid Jason’s buckle and pulled down Jason’s pants. Jason kept his bound hands above his shoulders and out of the way.
Gently, Peter reached down and found his rhythm. It felt strange doing Jason like this, Peter thought. Perhaps he should untie Jason first.
“Don’t stop,” Jason groaned. Peter could hear the urgency in his voice.
“Am I doing it right?” he asked. “Are you okay?”
“Hurry, Peter.”
Peter gently maneuvered Jason to the bed and helped him lie down. As Jason lay back and sighed in relief at finally being able to have some support for his quickly tiring arms, Peter kissed him passionately. The scent of Jason brought back powerful memories and Peter was nearly overwhelmed. He knelt down and tried to be gentle in his eagerness.
“Peter, I missed you so much,” Jason said. He wanted to say more but at that moment, a shudder of pure pleasure rushed through him and he had to stifle his shout of pure happiness.
When he finished, Peter took off his pants and lay beside Jason, waiting for his turn. But Jason didn’t make a move. Puzzled, Peter raised himself on one elbow to have a better look at him. Jason was lying on his back, his arms flung over his head, looking not at Peter but towards the ceiling.
“Peter,” Jason said in a small voice. “My arms are starting to cramp.”
Peter scrambled off the bed. He should have known! he scolded himself. It had been some time since they left Lucas’s room. Of course Jason must be in agony by now. Too embarrassed to say anything, Peter stood up and went to the study table to look for a pair of scissors. For the first time, he saw how messy the room had become since he had left. Jason was never a very tidy boy but Peter had been there to help straighten up. Now, dirty laundry was on the floor, papers and books were everywhere, and clothes were hanging off every available surface, including what had been his bed. He couldn’t find anything in the mess that Jason left the room in.
Another stupid mistake, Peter thought. He should have brought Lucas’s scissors with him when they left the room. That way, it would be handy when he needed to cut Jason loose, instead of making him wait like this. Jason must think him the stupidest person in the world.
Jason felt Peter get off the bed and watched him walk away and turn his back to him. He hadn’t been kidding, his shoulders were really starting to burn. He flexed his fingers in an attempt to promote blood flow, and wondered if they would drop off if they were deprived of circulation for too long. And he was still thirsty. And instead of helping him, Peter was opening drawers and overturning his papers on his desk. Jason suddenly recalled the times when he failed to satisfy Peter after getting pleasure in return and realized that Peter probably thought it was just another one of those times. No wonder he’s stopped talking to me, Jason thought. I wouldn’t keep myself around for long either.
But the pain between his shoulders was more urgent matter than self-reflection. Jason wondered if he should start gnawing on the tape and try to remove his bonds with his teeth, but changed his mind. Trying to get free without permission is probably not allowed, thought Jason. Would he settle for begging? At this point, Jason was willing to try anything.
But perhaps he could try something else first.
“I’m thirsty,” said Jason then cursed himself for how that must have sounded to Peter. Even tied up, you’re still giving orders. I don’t think that’s how Peter intended you to play this game.
Peter was startled away from his search. “I’m sorry.” He scratched his head. “If I bring you something to drink, will you promise not to spit at me?”
Jason’s shoulders slumped. There seemed to be no way to win this conversation, he thought.
Peter was torn between getting Jason something to drink or continuing the hunt for a pair of scissors. He didn’t know what Jason needed him to do first. Maybe he should just untie Jason so that he could get his own drink. Clearly, he wasn’t interested in drinking water. In his confusion, Peter continued to rummage through the desk drawers, uncertain whether he was looking for Jason’s alcohol stash or a pair of scissors. But while rummaging through the last drawer, he finally found what he was looking for.
Jason saw Peter coming at him with the box cutter. “Ngggghhh!” he cried out and put up his hands to try to defend himself. Oh my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, he raced quickly through the Act of Contrition. However, it was only Peter slicing through the duct tape. The relief he felt at being freed of his bonds was palpable, although he winced at the pain of having blood rush through his veins again.
Peter slid the box cutter back in its protective sheath and put it down carefully. He sat down and gently took Jason's hands, massaging first one wrist, then the other, looking down the entire time. When he could feel his hands again, Jason put out his free hand and put it on top of Peter’s. Look at me, Jason willed him, but Peter kept his head down and continued to caress Jason's arm. He didn’t want to see the accusation in Jason’s eyes. He felt Jason’s free hand explore his pants but he pushed it away, realizing that Jason had probably been through enough for one night.
Jason tried to overcome Peter’s efforts to block his hand from the latter’s pants. Now he’s no longer in the mood, thought Jason and realized that Peter was probably still thinking that Jason was refusing to do his turn. He couldn’t blame Peter for thinking that. Jason’s face burned as he remembered when he abandoned Peter after Peter had jacked him off, because he had to study or turn in a paper, or worse, because one of the guys had called him out to play.
Jason tried to put his arm around Peter to try to get him back to bed. There was nothing he wanted more than to cuddle up with him. Perhaps he could get Peter back in the mood again and give him as good as Peter had given him earlier. But Peter had already stood up to put the box cutter back in its place. While he was at desk, Peter couldn’t help but straighten up a few loose papers and put some books back in place.
“Will you please stop cleaning up?” Jason said but he said it more harshly than he intended.
Peter was startled into letting go of the books he had been trying to shelve. In doing so, his gaze fell onto a loose sheet of paper that contained Jason’s full schedule. He couldn't help noticing that the words Kitchen Duty were on it.
Of course Jason didn’t want him fiddling with his stuff, Peter thought. Clearly, he lost all rights to the room when he made the decision to move out. He probably thinks I’m snooping, Peter thought and blushed in guilt. He wondered if Jason knew he still had his key to their room.
He looked at Jason but Jason was now busy massaging his wrists. He figured that Jason was irritated at him for leaving him tied up for too long. That must have really hurt, Peter thought, and waited in vain for that feeling of satisfaction at having hurt somebody who had hurt him. All he felt was guilt, and grief in failing to bridge the gulf between them.
“I’m sorry,” said Peter but Jason was focused on his wrists.
“It’s late,” said Jason. But Peter heard only Jason’s words and failed to pick up on the invitation in his voice. As he turned away to pick up the books he had dropped earlier in order to shelve them properly, Peter missed how Jason patted the space on the bed beside him. He couldn't bear to see their room in such a mess. Their room looked as if it had been used as an arena for the Extreme Fighting Championships.
“You’re right, it’s late,” Peter said. He picked up Jason's schedule, noted when Jason was on Kitchen Duty for future reference, and carefully tacked it up on the wall as a last gesture of goodwill. It fluttered to the floor and Peter had to try twice more before it stuck. He looked around the room and was overwhelmed by how much work still needed to be done. I can't fix this, Peter thought.
"I know you have to be up early tomorrow,” he said awkwardly, "so I'll see you tomorrow, I guess." Peter picked up his pants from the floor and put them on again.
That was not the response Jason had been hoping for. It used to be that we could read each other’s minds, he thought. What have I done? Aren't you just so good at everything you do, Jason scolded himself ironically.
"Wait, wait, don't go,” said Jason, getting off from the bed and stood in front of the door, barring Peter from going out. He wondered what he could say to make it right.
“Lucas is probably still tidying up there, you know?" Jason said. "And, well, here there's an extra bed."
Both of them looked at the mess that Jason had made of Peter’s bed. They could hardly see the pillows or sheets underneath the clothes and dirty towels and socks. Peter thought of his nice clean bed in Lucas’s room and suddenly felt tired. It had been a long night. He knew Jason was right. Lucas and Tanya were most likely still together and he would just end up wandering the halls of St. Cecilia until he could go back to bed. If he left here, he would have nowhere to go.
Jason’s hand felt so right in his, so warm and comforting. He hadn’t felt this way for a long time. And he was tired, so tired.
“Please stay,” Jason whispered urgently. He was still thirsty, but his hunger and his longing for Peter was even greater. He knew that if he let Peter go now, he might not get a second chance. “Please, Peter. We’ll talk about everything in the morning.”
Jason’s words hit the right mark. Peter let himself feel hope for the first time in a very long while.
“Talk is good,” said Peter guardedly.
Jason agreed. The last thing he wanted was to spook Peter and cause him to run away again. “Please let's not ever not talk again.”
“No, never,” said Peter solemnly.
Jason reached for Peter, held him tight, and nuzzled him gently behind the ear. “We can talk tomorrow. But tonight, I can think of other things we can do tonight.”
Peter smiled and allowed Jason to lead him home.