Undefined 4
4: Wind
Will the winds of change bring us joy or sorrow, and will we still be here when the wind dies down?
The next morning Iruka walked out of the Hokage Tower just in time to make it to class if he hurried. The meeting had gone well, actually, and he was pretty happy with the way Tsunade was arranging things for him. He was going to actually have more time for himself than he had since he’d been a Genin, but still manage to do the jobs that let him connect both with his students and his fellow shinobi.
Since Iruka was in such a good mood that day, he made up an impromptu game for his students to play, one that involved both answering questions related to chakra management and actually showing off their skills, without making them feel like they were studying. It was a fine balance, but Iruka had become a master at it, and his students begged to be allowed to play again sometime soon. Iruka himself was having a lot of fun, and didn’t notice the small pug that was watching the activities until time to send the students home. When he did notice, he rolled his eyes and walked over to where the dog was sitting. “Hello, Pakkun,” he said, his voice just barely tinged with annoyance.
Pakkun looked at him curiously, as if he were some new species. Then he said, “So, my master is an idiot.”
Iruka nodded. “Yeah, what’s your point?”
“He wanted me to come play cute with you and see if I could lure you into seeing him tonight. But I don’t play cute, especially not for his current motives”
Iruka sighed. All this time to himself that he was supposed to have with his new schedule sounded less appealing suddenly. Then he realized he was standing in front of an excellent source of information, and squatted down to be closer to the dog. “So why isn’t he busy with missions?” he asked.
Pakkun looked at Iruka blankly for a moment, and then growled. “He’s been scooping up just about every high-level mission he could get his hands on since his team fell apart. Tsunade-sama wanted him to take a break. Unfortunately for you, that means he has plenty of time to follow you around and make moony eyes at you.”
“Oh,” said Iruka, processing the information slowly. “So, is he at home?”
“You’re really going to go see him?” said Pakkun incredulously.
Iruka nodded. “I am, actually.”
“Humans,” said Pakkun, and the word sounded like a curse. “He’s at home, waiting for me to come back and tell him you won’t see him so he can go waste his night standing in front of that damned stone.”
“He should have more faith. Tell him that I’ll be there in a little bit. I just want to go home and change, and then we’ll have dinner together or something,” said Iruka. The dog didn’t give him an answer, just bolted away, and Iruka shook his head.
Iruka wasn’t quite sure what to wear. He didn’t really want to wear his uniform, but he didn’t want to look like he had dressed up for a date either. Finally he settled for wearing a fresh pair of uniform pants with a dark green t-shirt, and no vest or leaf headband. He wasn’t quite sure why he had agreed to see Kakashi, but he had a feeling it had something to do with the other man’s confession that everything he did seemed a gift to him. He could give Kakashi this, his time, especially when it was rather nice for him to have some adult conversation for once.
The walk to Kakashi’s place passed quickly, and soon Iruka was knocking on his door. Kakashi answered too quickly, almost as if he had been standing there waiting. He was dressed in his uniform, minus the vest, and as soon as he had closed the door behind Iruka, he discarded his mask. Iruka wondered at this, at how the man always exposed himself in this way in his company. It was both scary and flattering.
“Dinner’s almost ready,” Kakashi said, leading Iruka into the kitchen.
“Can I help with anything?” asked Iruka. That last word didn’t come out quite right, his mind turning the word “anything” into something totally different since the time Kakashi had said it to him.
Kakashi looked at him a little strangely, but didn’t comment. Instead, he merely shook his head and indicated that Iruka should sit, which he did. They had easy conversation while Kakashi finished up the cooking, and dinner wound up going smoothly. It was again delicious, and Iruka found himself thinking he could get used to this kind of cooking all the time. If he were going to be involved with Kakashi, which he wasn’t of course.
After dinner was finished and the dishes cleared away, Kakashi and Iruka stood awkwardly in the kitchen. “I really didn’t have a plan, because I really didn’t think you’d come,” Kakashi said quietly, a slight frown on his face.
Iruka took a step forward, closer to the silver-haired ninja. His eyes took in the frown, the vulnerability, the simplicity with which the other man admitted his insecurity. “It’s okay, Kakashi. I’m here now, and it doesn’t matter that you don’t have a plan. What do you like to do?”
Kakashi shrugged. “It doesn’t matter, as long as I’m with you.”
“That’s very flattering, but not particularly helpful,” said Iruka, keeping his voice carefully calm.
“I’m sorry,” replied Kakashi. “I just can’t think so well right now.” His eyes seemed to be carefully measuring the distance between them, and Iruka realized when he had stepped forward, he had moved rather close to Kakashi. He was tempted to step away, but stood his ground instead.
“You seem to have a lot of movies and music, so you like those things, right?” prompted Iruka.
“You didn’t watch the movie last time. You just pretended to,” argued Kakashi.
Iruka blushed. “I was a little distracted, I’ll admit.”
Kakashi thought for a second, then seemed to come to a decision. He moved past Iruka out the kitchen door, brushing up against him as he did so. Iruka shivered, and then followed, and watched as Kakashi pulled out a CD and slipped it in the player. The music was modern and upbeat, and Iruka found he was surprised that Kakashi would like such music. He settled comfortably onto the couch, noticing that Kakashi carefully didn’t sit too close to him this time.
They didn’t talk much, other than about the music, but it didn’t seem an uncomfortable silence. Kakashi had removed his hitae-ate at some point, and lay back with eyes closed, listening and occasionally making an observation. He seemed so removed at that moment from his playful teasing persona, or his cold efficient one, or the new love-struck pathetic one Iruka had seen. In that moment, Iruka found he was tempted, thinking that he really did find Kakashi attractive, and it wouldn’t hurt to go to bed with him once or something… except it wouldn’t be fair, and he knew it, so instead of asking he turned away and closed his own eyes.
He woke to Kakashi hovering over him, calling his name. Iruka jumped, nearly falling off the couch as he did so, and reached for a weapons pouch he wasn’t actually carrying at the moment. Kakashi’s eyes followed the motion, and he stepped away from the couch. “I’m sorry, you fell asleep on me,” he said.
Iruka looked around, orienting himself. “That makes me look like a pretty bad shinobi, doesn’t it?” he said with a wry laugh.
“It means you trust me, doesn’t it?” asked Kakashi, his face serious.
Iruka thought about that one for a moment. “Yes, I suppose I do trust you.” Then he remembered his moment of temptation earlier, and felt a little guilty. Here he had been thinking about how he could use this man’s feelings to get him into bed, and Kakashi had acted completely honorably towards him this entire time, if pathetically. He wanted to apologize, but figured it would only make him look crazy, since Kakashi couldn’t exactly see inside his head.
“You should probably go home if you’re that tired,” Kakashi offered. “I can walk with you?”
Iruka checked the time. It was only 8pm, and he wasn’t really ready to call it a night yet. On the other hand, Kakashi had offered him the perfect excuse to escape without hurting the other man’s feelings. Iruka weighed his options for a moment, and then shifted on the couch, and said, “Sit back down with me for a bit, please.”
Kakashi moved slowly, settling himself carefully onto the couch next to Iruka. There wasn’t any music playing anymore, but he didn’t move to start it again. He didn’t do anything, just looked at Iruka with that one dark eye, and Iruka realized he had replaced his headband over the Sharingan at some point, probably while Iruka had been asleep. “I’m sorry,” said Kakashi, when he realized he was staring.
Iruka shrugged. “Don’t worry about it. You’re not making me uncomfortable tonight. Actually, I’m really enjoying being close to you tonight.”
A look of pain crossed Kakashi’s face, as if he didn’t believe Iruka, but he didn’t argue. He simply sat, at what seemed a carefully measured distance, looking at Iruka as if there was nothing else in his world. Iruka shook his head, sighing, and stood. “Come on, let’s go out and have a drink or something, okay?”
Iruka wasn’t quite sure why he bothered phrasing it as a question, since as expected Kakashi agreed and moved to follow him. It wasn’t like Kakashi would tell him he didn’t want to even if it were the case. It was terrifying, he thought, especially considering this man beside him was stronger than he could ever imagine being. He was glad when they were out of the apartment, out in the street where Kakashi wore his mask again, and didn’t stare at him.
He led Kakashi through the streets to the bar that his friends were most likely to be at, thinking having other people around might ease some of the tension. The place had a cheery, open exterior, and didn’t look anything like the darker, seedier places Kakashi frequented. At this time of evening there were usually a few of Iruka’s friends here, but he wasn’t having much luck tonight. Mira-sensei saw him as soon as he entered, and made her way over.
“You just missed Kotetsu and Izumo,” she said, watching him scan the room. “It’s a slow night so far, though I’m sure once it gets later things will be better.” She looked over at Kakashi, who was simply standing next to Iruka looking around, as if he were in alien territory or something.
Iruka introduced the two, and Kakashi looked at Mira contemplatively, but only nodded. “What about you, Mira? What are you up to?” asked Iruka.
Mira smiled, and her very bright green eyes lit up. “Actually, I was hoping to find you. I thought we could go out again. Things didn’t go quite right last time, but I’d like to give it another shot, since we have so much fun together at work.”
To Kakashi’s credit, he didn’t say anything. He didn’t cut in to tell the woman to keep her hands off Iruka, or run away, or even betray his emotions with a shift in his chakra. The only hint of his unhappiness was the tiniest tensing of the muscle of his jaw, and the mask would have hidden that from anyone not looking very closely. Iruka was looking very closely, however, because as soon as he’d realized what Mira was saying, he had wondered how Kakashi would take it.
“That’s very kind of you, Mira, but I’m really not available at the moment,” Iruka replied slowly.
“Some other time, then?” Mira pressed, leaning a bit closer to Iruka, too close for his comfort.
“No, Mira-sensei, I don’t think so. While I very much enjoy working with you, I’m afraid I’m seeing someone else,” he said, without looking at Kakashi at all this time. “I should get going, actually. Excuse me,” he said, wincing inwardly because he hated being impolite, but he really didn’t want to deal with Mira trying to talk him into another date, especially considering he really hadn’t enjoyed the last one. Kakashi simply followed him, as expected.
They wandered two streets over and entered a much less cheerful bar, and Iruka stepped back to let Kakashi lead the way inside. Kakashi did so, moving more comfortably in his familiar atmosphere, and before they were even in the door people were waving. Kakashi immediately threaded his way over to a table near the back, where Genma, Raidou, and Anko were seated. Kakashi took his usual seat next to Genma, and then gestured for Iruka to sit down as well. Iruka did so a little uncomfortably, feeling a bit out of place, but Anko immediately popped around the table to sit next to him and grab his arm.
“What are you doing here, Iru-kun?” she asked, hissing.
Kakashi turned in her direction and glared. “Well, we thought we would have a drink, if that’s okay with you, Mitarashi?”
Genma chomped down hard on his senbon, recognizing the dangerous tone in Kakashi’s voice. “Of course it’s fine with her, Kakashi, but we’re not used to seeing the good schoolteacher in a place like this,” he said smoothly.
Anko nodded, giving Iruka a look that meant he was definitely going to be explaining this later. Then she ordered him his favorite drink, ignoring Kakashi’s attempts to protest that he was buying for Iruka. Luckily, no bloodshed came out of it, and the five managed to drink and chat comfortably for a while. Iruka was rather glad of Anko’s presence, because he didn’t really know Genma or Raidou well, and hanging out with Kakashi’s friends at a bar usually frequented by Jounin wasn’t something he was really all that comfortable with in general.
An hour later, Iruka’s head was comfortably buzzing, and he turned to tell Kakashi he was ready to go. It seemed Kakashi read his mind, because he immediately stood. “Well, I can’t keep the schoolteacher out late,” he said with a grin. “See you guys later. Don’t die.”
Iruka’s eyes widened, but the other occupants of the table responded with the same sentiment, even Anko, whose arm he had to pry his out of when he stood. Outside, in the cooling night air, he stopped and leaned back against the wall for a second. “Don’t die?” he asked softly.
Kakashi shrugged. “It’s an old habit. I don’t even remember where it started anymore.” A pause. “What was up with Anko trying to crawl into your skin?”
Iruka laughed. “I’m her pet Chuunin, apparently. I was nice to her when she first… came back, and we’ve been friends ever since. She tends to be kind of overprotective of me.”
Kakashi nodded, then lapsed into silence. Iruka led the way towards his apartment, but rather than saying goodnight at the door, he led Kakashi inside and then out onto a small balcony, where they sat. The wind blew insistently, but Iruka found it soothing against his skin, after the close atmosphere of the bar they’d been in. Iruka could tell from Kakashi’s expression that he hadn’t expected to be invited in, and once again Iruka found himself unconsciously giving Kakashi a “gift”.
“Why did you tell that teacher that you were seeing someone?” Kakashi asked. “Are you seeing someone?”
Iruka shrugged. “I don’t know. Am I?”
Kakashi’s dark eye widened. “Surely you didn’t mean me. I’m not stupid enough to think you’re actually dating me.”
Another shrug from Iruka. “That’s what it looks like, doesn’t it? And wouldn’t you like that?”
Kakashi sighed, leaning back in his chair and reaching up to pull down his mask and rub his hand over his face. “I know I said I would accept anything you were willing to give me, but surely you’re not going to go out with me out of pity, are you?”
“Not pity,” said Iruka softly, so soft he could barely even hear himself. “I enjoy your company, Kakashi. I realized it when Mira was asking me out, that the only basis she had for that was that she enjoyed my company. I don’t have to be in love with you for us to date, and just see where it goes.”
Kakashi looked up at Iruka then, a soft smile on his face, and suddenly he was out of his chair and kneeling on the ground in front of Iruka, his head resting on Iruka’s knee. The gesture reminded Iruka eerily of a dog, and he wasn’t sure how to react. Finally, he reached out a tentative hand and just stroked Kakashi’s hair, and they sat there like that for a few moments. Then Iruka said, “Kakashi, I really do need to get to bed.”
Kakashi stirred, and stood up slowly, pulling himself away. “Thank you for tonight,” he said simply, as they made their way back through the apartment to the door.
“You’re welcome,” replied Iruka. “I’m going to be busy for a few days, but… I can see you Saturday if you like.”
Kakashi nodded and smiled. “I’d like that,” he said softly. He leaned in as if he might kiss Iruka, but seemed to lose his nerve, and just stood very close. Iruka let him do so for a moment, then gently pushed the other man away, with a firm, “Good night, Kakashi.”
“Good night, Iruka,” replied Kakashi, on his way out the door. His looked happier than Iruka had ever seen him, and Iruka wondered just what kind of mess he had gotten himself into. If he never returned Kakashi’s feelings, and things between them wound up going nowhere… what would that do to Kakashi now?
Next Chapter
Will the winds of change bring us joy or sorrow, and will we still be here when the wind dies down?
The next morning Iruka walked out of the Hokage Tower just in time to make it to class if he hurried. The meeting had gone well, actually, and he was pretty happy with the way Tsunade was arranging things for him. He was going to actually have more time for himself than he had since he’d been a Genin, but still manage to do the jobs that let him connect both with his students and his fellow shinobi.
Since Iruka was in such a good mood that day, he made up an impromptu game for his students to play, one that involved both answering questions related to chakra management and actually showing off their skills, without making them feel like they were studying. It was a fine balance, but Iruka had become a master at it, and his students begged to be allowed to play again sometime soon. Iruka himself was having a lot of fun, and didn’t notice the small pug that was watching the activities until time to send the students home. When he did notice, he rolled his eyes and walked over to where the dog was sitting. “Hello, Pakkun,” he said, his voice just barely tinged with annoyance.
Pakkun looked at him curiously, as if he were some new species. Then he said, “So, my master is an idiot.”
Iruka nodded. “Yeah, what’s your point?”
“He wanted me to come play cute with you and see if I could lure you into seeing him tonight. But I don’t play cute, especially not for his current motives”
Iruka sighed. All this time to himself that he was supposed to have with his new schedule sounded less appealing suddenly. Then he realized he was standing in front of an excellent source of information, and squatted down to be closer to the dog. “So why isn’t he busy with missions?” he asked.
Pakkun looked at Iruka blankly for a moment, and then growled. “He’s been scooping up just about every high-level mission he could get his hands on since his team fell apart. Tsunade-sama wanted him to take a break. Unfortunately for you, that means he has plenty of time to follow you around and make moony eyes at you.”
“Oh,” said Iruka, processing the information slowly. “So, is he at home?”
“You’re really going to go see him?” said Pakkun incredulously.
Iruka nodded. “I am, actually.”
“Humans,” said Pakkun, and the word sounded like a curse. “He’s at home, waiting for me to come back and tell him you won’t see him so he can go waste his night standing in front of that damned stone.”
“He should have more faith. Tell him that I’ll be there in a little bit. I just want to go home and change, and then we’ll have dinner together or something,” said Iruka. The dog didn’t give him an answer, just bolted away, and Iruka shook his head.
Iruka wasn’t quite sure what to wear. He didn’t really want to wear his uniform, but he didn’t want to look like he had dressed up for a date either. Finally he settled for wearing a fresh pair of uniform pants with a dark green t-shirt, and no vest or leaf headband. He wasn’t quite sure why he had agreed to see Kakashi, but he had a feeling it had something to do with the other man’s confession that everything he did seemed a gift to him. He could give Kakashi this, his time, especially when it was rather nice for him to have some adult conversation for once.
The walk to Kakashi’s place passed quickly, and soon Iruka was knocking on his door. Kakashi answered too quickly, almost as if he had been standing there waiting. He was dressed in his uniform, minus the vest, and as soon as he had closed the door behind Iruka, he discarded his mask. Iruka wondered at this, at how the man always exposed himself in this way in his company. It was both scary and flattering.
“Dinner’s almost ready,” Kakashi said, leading Iruka into the kitchen.
“Can I help with anything?” asked Iruka. That last word didn’t come out quite right, his mind turning the word “anything” into something totally different since the time Kakashi had said it to him.
Kakashi looked at him a little strangely, but didn’t comment. Instead, he merely shook his head and indicated that Iruka should sit, which he did. They had easy conversation while Kakashi finished up the cooking, and dinner wound up going smoothly. It was again delicious, and Iruka found himself thinking he could get used to this kind of cooking all the time. If he were going to be involved with Kakashi, which he wasn’t of course.
After dinner was finished and the dishes cleared away, Kakashi and Iruka stood awkwardly in the kitchen. “I really didn’t have a plan, because I really didn’t think you’d come,” Kakashi said quietly, a slight frown on his face.
Iruka took a step forward, closer to the silver-haired ninja. His eyes took in the frown, the vulnerability, the simplicity with which the other man admitted his insecurity. “It’s okay, Kakashi. I’m here now, and it doesn’t matter that you don’t have a plan. What do you like to do?”
Kakashi shrugged. “It doesn’t matter, as long as I’m with you.”
“That’s very flattering, but not particularly helpful,” said Iruka, keeping his voice carefully calm.
“I’m sorry,” replied Kakashi. “I just can’t think so well right now.” His eyes seemed to be carefully measuring the distance between them, and Iruka realized when he had stepped forward, he had moved rather close to Kakashi. He was tempted to step away, but stood his ground instead.
“You seem to have a lot of movies and music, so you like those things, right?” prompted Iruka.
“You didn’t watch the movie last time. You just pretended to,” argued Kakashi.
Iruka blushed. “I was a little distracted, I’ll admit.”
Kakashi thought for a second, then seemed to come to a decision. He moved past Iruka out the kitchen door, brushing up against him as he did so. Iruka shivered, and then followed, and watched as Kakashi pulled out a CD and slipped it in the player. The music was modern and upbeat, and Iruka found he was surprised that Kakashi would like such music. He settled comfortably onto the couch, noticing that Kakashi carefully didn’t sit too close to him this time.
They didn’t talk much, other than about the music, but it didn’t seem an uncomfortable silence. Kakashi had removed his hitae-ate at some point, and lay back with eyes closed, listening and occasionally making an observation. He seemed so removed at that moment from his playful teasing persona, or his cold efficient one, or the new love-struck pathetic one Iruka had seen. In that moment, Iruka found he was tempted, thinking that he really did find Kakashi attractive, and it wouldn’t hurt to go to bed with him once or something… except it wouldn’t be fair, and he knew it, so instead of asking he turned away and closed his own eyes.
He woke to Kakashi hovering over him, calling his name. Iruka jumped, nearly falling off the couch as he did so, and reached for a weapons pouch he wasn’t actually carrying at the moment. Kakashi’s eyes followed the motion, and he stepped away from the couch. “I’m sorry, you fell asleep on me,” he said.
Iruka looked around, orienting himself. “That makes me look like a pretty bad shinobi, doesn’t it?” he said with a wry laugh.
“It means you trust me, doesn’t it?” asked Kakashi, his face serious.
Iruka thought about that one for a moment. “Yes, I suppose I do trust you.” Then he remembered his moment of temptation earlier, and felt a little guilty. Here he had been thinking about how he could use this man’s feelings to get him into bed, and Kakashi had acted completely honorably towards him this entire time, if pathetically. He wanted to apologize, but figured it would only make him look crazy, since Kakashi couldn’t exactly see inside his head.
“You should probably go home if you’re that tired,” Kakashi offered. “I can walk with you?”
Iruka checked the time. It was only 8pm, and he wasn’t really ready to call it a night yet. On the other hand, Kakashi had offered him the perfect excuse to escape without hurting the other man’s feelings. Iruka weighed his options for a moment, and then shifted on the couch, and said, “Sit back down with me for a bit, please.”
Kakashi moved slowly, settling himself carefully onto the couch next to Iruka. There wasn’t any music playing anymore, but he didn’t move to start it again. He didn’t do anything, just looked at Iruka with that one dark eye, and Iruka realized he had replaced his headband over the Sharingan at some point, probably while Iruka had been asleep. “I’m sorry,” said Kakashi, when he realized he was staring.
Iruka shrugged. “Don’t worry about it. You’re not making me uncomfortable tonight. Actually, I’m really enjoying being close to you tonight.”
A look of pain crossed Kakashi’s face, as if he didn’t believe Iruka, but he didn’t argue. He simply sat, at what seemed a carefully measured distance, looking at Iruka as if there was nothing else in his world. Iruka shook his head, sighing, and stood. “Come on, let’s go out and have a drink or something, okay?”
Iruka wasn’t quite sure why he bothered phrasing it as a question, since as expected Kakashi agreed and moved to follow him. It wasn’t like Kakashi would tell him he didn’t want to even if it were the case. It was terrifying, he thought, especially considering this man beside him was stronger than he could ever imagine being. He was glad when they were out of the apartment, out in the street where Kakashi wore his mask again, and didn’t stare at him.
He led Kakashi through the streets to the bar that his friends were most likely to be at, thinking having other people around might ease some of the tension. The place had a cheery, open exterior, and didn’t look anything like the darker, seedier places Kakashi frequented. At this time of evening there were usually a few of Iruka’s friends here, but he wasn’t having much luck tonight. Mira-sensei saw him as soon as he entered, and made her way over.
“You just missed Kotetsu and Izumo,” she said, watching him scan the room. “It’s a slow night so far, though I’m sure once it gets later things will be better.” She looked over at Kakashi, who was simply standing next to Iruka looking around, as if he were in alien territory or something.
Iruka introduced the two, and Kakashi looked at Mira contemplatively, but only nodded. “What about you, Mira? What are you up to?” asked Iruka.
Mira smiled, and her very bright green eyes lit up. “Actually, I was hoping to find you. I thought we could go out again. Things didn’t go quite right last time, but I’d like to give it another shot, since we have so much fun together at work.”
To Kakashi’s credit, he didn’t say anything. He didn’t cut in to tell the woman to keep her hands off Iruka, or run away, or even betray his emotions with a shift in his chakra. The only hint of his unhappiness was the tiniest tensing of the muscle of his jaw, and the mask would have hidden that from anyone not looking very closely. Iruka was looking very closely, however, because as soon as he’d realized what Mira was saying, he had wondered how Kakashi would take it.
“That’s very kind of you, Mira, but I’m really not available at the moment,” Iruka replied slowly.
“Some other time, then?” Mira pressed, leaning a bit closer to Iruka, too close for his comfort.
“No, Mira-sensei, I don’t think so. While I very much enjoy working with you, I’m afraid I’m seeing someone else,” he said, without looking at Kakashi at all this time. “I should get going, actually. Excuse me,” he said, wincing inwardly because he hated being impolite, but he really didn’t want to deal with Mira trying to talk him into another date, especially considering he really hadn’t enjoyed the last one. Kakashi simply followed him, as expected.
They wandered two streets over and entered a much less cheerful bar, and Iruka stepped back to let Kakashi lead the way inside. Kakashi did so, moving more comfortably in his familiar atmosphere, and before they were even in the door people were waving. Kakashi immediately threaded his way over to a table near the back, where Genma, Raidou, and Anko were seated. Kakashi took his usual seat next to Genma, and then gestured for Iruka to sit down as well. Iruka did so a little uncomfortably, feeling a bit out of place, but Anko immediately popped around the table to sit next to him and grab his arm.
“What are you doing here, Iru-kun?” she asked, hissing.
Kakashi turned in her direction and glared. “Well, we thought we would have a drink, if that’s okay with you, Mitarashi?”
Genma chomped down hard on his senbon, recognizing the dangerous tone in Kakashi’s voice. “Of course it’s fine with her, Kakashi, but we’re not used to seeing the good schoolteacher in a place like this,” he said smoothly.
Anko nodded, giving Iruka a look that meant he was definitely going to be explaining this later. Then she ordered him his favorite drink, ignoring Kakashi’s attempts to protest that he was buying for Iruka. Luckily, no bloodshed came out of it, and the five managed to drink and chat comfortably for a while. Iruka was rather glad of Anko’s presence, because he didn’t really know Genma or Raidou well, and hanging out with Kakashi’s friends at a bar usually frequented by Jounin wasn’t something he was really all that comfortable with in general.
An hour later, Iruka’s head was comfortably buzzing, and he turned to tell Kakashi he was ready to go. It seemed Kakashi read his mind, because he immediately stood. “Well, I can’t keep the schoolteacher out late,” he said with a grin. “See you guys later. Don’t die.”
Iruka’s eyes widened, but the other occupants of the table responded with the same sentiment, even Anko, whose arm he had to pry his out of when he stood. Outside, in the cooling night air, he stopped and leaned back against the wall for a second. “Don’t die?” he asked softly.
Kakashi shrugged. “It’s an old habit. I don’t even remember where it started anymore.” A pause. “What was up with Anko trying to crawl into your skin?”
Iruka laughed. “I’m her pet Chuunin, apparently. I was nice to her when she first… came back, and we’ve been friends ever since. She tends to be kind of overprotective of me.”
Kakashi nodded, then lapsed into silence. Iruka led the way towards his apartment, but rather than saying goodnight at the door, he led Kakashi inside and then out onto a small balcony, where they sat. The wind blew insistently, but Iruka found it soothing against his skin, after the close atmosphere of the bar they’d been in. Iruka could tell from Kakashi’s expression that he hadn’t expected to be invited in, and once again Iruka found himself unconsciously giving Kakashi a “gift”.
“Why did you tell that teacher that you were seeing someone?” Kakashi asked. “Are you seeing someone?”
Iruka shrugged. “I don’t know. Am I?”
Kakashi’s dark eye widened. “Surely you didn’t mean me. I’m not stupid enough to think you’re actually dating me.”
Another shrug from Iruka. “That’s what it looks like, doesn’t it? And wouldn’t you like that?”
Kakashi sighed, leaning back in his chair and reaching up to pull down his mask and rub his hand over his face. “I know I said I would accept anything you were willing to give me, but surely you’re not going to go out with me out of pity, are you?”
“Not pity,” said Iruka softly, so soft he could barely even hear himself. “I enjoy your company, Kakashi. I realized it when Mira was asking me out, that the only basis she had for that was that she enjoyed my company. I don’t have to be in love with you for us to date, and just see where it goes.”
Kakashi looked up at Iruka then, a soft smile on his face, and suddenly he was out of his chair and kneeling on the ground in front of Iruka, his head resting on Iruka’s knee. The gesture reminded Iruka eerily of a dog, and he wasn’t sure how to react. Finally, he reached out a tentative hand and just stroked Kakashi’s hair, and they sat there like that for a few moments. Then Iruka said, “Kakashi, I really do need to get to bed.”
Kakashi stirred, and stood up slowly, pulling himself away. “Thank you for tonight,” he said simply, as they made their way back through the apartment to the door.
“You’re welcome,” replied Iruka. “I’m going to be busy for a few days, but… I can see you Saturday if you like.”
Kakashi nodded and smiled. “I’d like that,” he said softly. He leaned in as if he might kiss Iruka, but seemed to lose his nerve, and just stood very close. Iruka let him do so for a moment, then gently pushed the other man away, with a firm, “Good night, Kakashi.”
“Good night, Iruka,” replied Kakashi, on his way out the door. His looked happier than Iruka had ever seen him, and Iruka wondered just what kind of mess he had gotten himself into. If he never returned Kakashi’s feelings, and things between them wound up going nowhere… what would that do to Kakashi now?
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