First post/fic

[leaveout]

“Just breathe,” Nicholas kept saying over and over again.  He’d moved on from saying that everything would be all right.

The other officers looked on as Nicholas tried desperately to stop the bleeding from his partner’s torso.

Where was that ambulance?

Danny kept his pain filled eyes on Nicholas, he couldn’t make out what he was saying.

Comments

[manics_fan]

Beautiful fic, very touching. You really captured Nicholas very well, what he must have been feeling at that time. Great job!

[beccavox]

Nicholas staring down the doctor was my favorite. Nicely done!

[leaveout]

Thank you guys very much for your kind reviews.

[mikes_grrl]

This was so sweet, and endearing, and...well, I've sat in hospitals like that, and it is wrenching, but you captured that wretched horror in a loving way. I like this alot, and hope you will write more. I love seeing new perspectives on parts of the story.

Only crit is that when you start a sentence in quotes, it should be capitalized, because it is not a continuation of the sentence prior. e.g.
Nicholas shook his head. “That can wait...."

[leaveout]

Thank you for reviewing:)

I've always had a problem with grammar. They teach it to you year after year but for some reason it just doesn't stick.

[leaveout]

Post-explosion fics are my favorite. When I saw "Hot Fuzz" in theaters, it fooled me twice, that's how I knew that I was in the presence of greatness.