Comments | lcohen: and another thing

lcohen

and another thing

Apr 25, 2008 11:59

i keep seeing people saying "this just isn't that big a deal." which reminds me of some bad relationship stuff, so, hey, i can make a micro/macro post cause i have so been there ( Read more... )

communication or lack of same, geeking

Comments 5

nobodobodon April 25 2008, 18:41:49 UTC

I try to always keep it personal, with statements like "X doesn't bother me".

I think people have a really hard time distinguishing between "What I like" and "What is good", even when they try to pay lip service to that concept.

You hear people talking about how much some movie or other sucked, but if they hate all films in that particular genre, then there's no way to really tell if you're going to like it, if you happen to like that genre.

bitty April 25 2008, 18:43:59 UTC

while there were many things wrong with my previous relationship, that dynamic is the reason i was upset and fighting all the time.

MAN am i happier with someone who thinks that, say, his roommates being rude to me is his problem, too.

skellington April 25 2008, 19:03:06 UTC

You know, it is hard to carry on a discussion when you say "X is not a big deal", and someone else says "Oh yes it is!" but they're really talking about a different X.

Oh well.

redbird April 26 2008, 01:07:29 UTC

It's always hard to carry on a discussion when you and the other person/people are talking about different things and nobody realizes it. that can be if you say "X is important" and they say "you're absolutely right, I'm glad you agree with me!" and then proceed to start talking about how to fix it. And halfway through you realize that their definition of $foo is completely unrelated to yours, and either you don't think $fooyours is a big deal, or you agree that it would be, but don't think it exists.

If both/all parties discover the mismatch and are still in a mood to pursue the matter, this can be addressed.

bibliofile April 26 2008, 18:19:48 UTC

My earworm has just changed: "... you probably think this post is about you."

Example: As a white chick racism doesn't affect me directly very often. However, it is most certainly a problem.

(And my mind kind of boggles at people who say "X is not a big deal [because it is not a big deal to me]."