Wow. I knew pieces of this, but asking for the whole thing seemed too invasive in the brief social moments we have spent together. As you may know, I end up talking birth with a lot of mamas, and I know from experience that no story is like another one, and there is always WAY more to the story than most women tell, except sometimes. Sometimes the truest parts come out, because someone actually ASKED which makes it OK, and the woman lets go. And then no matter what she tells me I always, always tear up, and then she does, and then the words kind of hang, and then there is hugging and then she laughs a little and then I can see how relieved she is. Sometimes, usually, when we give birth, not everything comes out. Asking about the birth of woman who feels safe in the telling, gives her and everyone else a very beautiful glimpse of something that happens all the time but is rarely ever discussed in full enough detail.
Thank you. I am bummed that we are missing the hugging part.
Honestly, though, I gotta say that one thing I love about LJ as a forum is that I don't know how far I'd get in telling this story to someone, in person, without completely losing it. I had to stop a couple times while I was writing, because I was writing it at work and I couldn't just break down and cry right there. This is probably only the second or third time I've told the whole story, and all of those times have happened in the past two years or so. It's taken a long time for me to even be strong enough as a person to want to relive it.
Someday I would like to hear your stories, too. Unless you've already told them elsewhere, in which case you can just point me there. :D
The strangest thing is that I have never really written them down.
I suppose I ought to do that. A birth story is one of those things that seems to have quantifiable data, but in between, and layered all around, there are these other moments that are so dense and emotional and hard to phrase. I know how long I was in labor for each, and there are so few stories in life that come so time and date stamped, yet each story gets bigger all the time.
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Thank you. I am bummed that we are missing the hugging part.
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Honestly, though, I gotta say that one thing I love about LJ as a forum is that I don't know how far I'd get in telling this story to someone, in person, without completely losing it. I had to stop a couple times while I was writing, because I was writing it at work and I couldn't just break down and cry right there. This is probably only the second or third time I've told the whole story, and all of those times have happened in the past two years or so. It's taken a long time for me to even be strong enough as a person to want to relive it.
Someday I would like to hear your stories, too. Unless you've already told them elsewhere, in which case you can just point me there. :D
Reply
I suppose I ought to do that. A birth story is one of those things that seems to have quantifiable data, but in between, and layered all around, there are these other moments that are so dense and emotional and hard to phrase. I know how long I was in labor for each, and there are so few stories in life that come so time and date stamped, yet each story gets bigger all the time.
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