Skins Little Bang
Who'd Have Known?
Author: lazy_boo
Artist: pennylane101
Link To Art: Here
Word count: 5447
Rating: M
Warnings: Some sexual content, Katie Fitch bad language
Disclaimer: I obviously (and unfortunately) do not own Skins or Lily Allen
Summary: Naomi runs into Katie years after she and Emily have broken up. They become good friends, and then more. Katie is hesitant to tell her family.
Notes: skins_bigbang entry. Loosely based on the Lily Allen song of the same name. Enormous thank you to pennylane101 for the amazing artwork and being so accommodating of my requests.
Who'd Have Known?
by lazy_boo
‘We’ve been here before Katie. So many times.’ Naomi tried to keep her tone even, really tried. But her frustration leached into her voice, driving the pitch higher. Higher than she’d like. Blue eyes rolled, and she took a deep breath. Exhaled slowly. ‘Let’s just see how it goes, you keep saying. We’ve been doing that for months now, Kay. And it’s going nowhere fast. I can’t... I’m not sure I can do this anymore.’
Katie, frankly, looked panicked. Opened her mouth, closed it. Again. Quiet desperation written across her expressive features. Naomi couldn’t suppress a disappointed sigh, shoulders slumping in resignation. ‘Katie, I can’t just be your dirty little secret any more. I want...’
‘What do you fucking mean, secret? All of my friends know about us.’
‘Not all of them. Not the people that matter.’ A pause. Blue eyes stared into brown - closed in anguish, when the smaller woman looked guiltily away. ‘I want to tell people, Kay.’ She recognised the irony, felt a sudden flash of empathy for Emily all those years ago. A lifetime ago. ‘I want to go back home and I want to tell my mum, and I want to tell your parents... and I want you to tell Emily. I want to make this real. Because it feels like I’m living a half life right now, and I’ve had enough.’
‘Naomi, I... I...’ When the brunette trailed off, Naomi exhaled audibly.
‘I know this isn’t easy. Fuck knows it’s the very last thing I ever expected to happen. Running into you again, let alone... let alone everything else that’s... Fucks sake.’ Katie looked nothing short of wretched, and it was hard - so very hard to press on. Knowing that she was possibly hurting them both. But she couldn’t live like this any more. ‘I can’t just be your regular shag any more Kay. You’ve... asked me for time, asked me to keep it quiet, and I have. I’ve done it because you’ve asked. But it’s gone beyond now. If this is just... fuck I don’t even know what it is for you, that’s what I mean. I’ve no idea if this is an experiment, if it’s comfort, just something fucking familiar. But I can’t be that any more for you. If that’s all it is then you need to let me go.’
+ - + - + - + - +
They’d run into each other down Naomi’s local one night, almost a year ago. The blonde had been out with a mate, and had nearly fallen off her chair when she’d heard Katie’s distinctive, strident lisp. Had considered making a bolt for it, in fact - but the brunette had spotted her as she made her way back from the bar. Naomi had expected it to be awkward, had expected Katie to be awful. Hadn’t expected them both to have grown up so much that it was rather fucking wonderful to catch up.
Katie had ditched her friends, and Naomi’s mate had quickly excused herself when the brunette bought a round and settled down at the table. Katie had been brash and acerbic - but she’d also been warm and friendly and genuinely interested in what the blonde was up to. It turned out that they were both living near by. Naomi was in the final year of her post-grad degree in political science, and Katie had finally decided that it was a good idea to enrol in that fashion design course that she’d contemplated for years.
They talked for hours, in the end, about everything and nothing. Who they’d kept in touch with from college and what they were up to. After the fifth awkward pause when the conversation had skirted around Emily, Naomi decided to take the bull by the horns, deliberately asked Katie how her sister was. The brunette looked a little startled by her frankness, but answered honestly. Emily had ended up teaching, back in Bristol. She was living with her partner, and they were due to get married later that year. Had looked a little apologetic as she imparted that. Naomi shrugged, smiled. A little wan, a little amused that it still stung after all this time. They’d drifted apart during the early years of university, not able to manage the distance. There’d been no real animosity, even when Emily had told her she’d started dating someone else. It just... happened.
Katie had clasped her hand, squeezed her fingers.
They’d exchanged numbers, promised to catch up again soon. The blonde suspected it would never happen, but it had been surprisingly lovely to catch up. Impulsively hugged the smaller woman goodbye when they parted.
Katie had called the next day.
Over the following weeks they built up an unspoken routine - at least once or twice during the week they’d have a drink after classes. Soon it became one night on the weekend as well. Katie’s fashionista friends were were not as intimidating as she’d feared, welcomed her into the group with open arms.
Naomi didn’t stop to question, or even think about what it meant. It was lovely, this friendship they’d fallen into. They had a lot of relaxed, easy fun together, and it was strangely soothing some old, lingering hurts she’d never realised were there. The blonde didn’t think anything was amiss at all until Katie’s extraordinarily gay best friend Julian winked cheekily - a knowing smirk lifting the corner of his mouth - when they were dancing one night. Katie had wrapped an arm around her neck, turned her body in towards Naomi so she could speak directly into her ear, and the blonde’s hands had unconsciously found the smaller woman’s hips, tugged her closer.
Naomi bolted as soon as she registered the look on Julian’s face. Stood outside the club, desperately trying to light a cigarette, hoping it would calm the roiling in her guts. The impending hurricane of her thoughts. Two fags later, and she’d rationalised it away. It was completely natural that she would have reacted to Katie that way, reached for her so familiarly. They were friends, fucks sake, and friends danced with each other all the time. And her body... well, her body was acting on instinct. It had an Emily sized and shaped body pressed up against it, it was no wonder... Well, it was just an old habit.
A habit she would most definitely break. To be sure, Naomi resolved to keep a physical distance between them. Just in case.
She didn’t really think about any of it again until a few weeks later. She’d been ridiculously busy with papers due, and they hadn’t managed to catch up for more than a quick drink here and there, making the resolution slightly redundant. Finally Katie had invited her round for dinner, citing a lack of funds to go out drinking. Had told the blonde to bring some wine, and they’d do a night in, have a proper chance to catch up. Waiting on the doorstep, bottle of wine tucked under each arm, Naomi mentally surveyed herself - bemused to find how much this appeared like a date. Astounded to discover that she wouldn’t mind if it was.
‘About fucking time babes. I thought the pasta was going to go soggy waiting for you.’
Blue eyes blinked. ‘Wh... Ah... I... So...’ Naomi trailed off, flustered.
Katie’s expression had switched from exasperated through bewildered to concerned. A small hand reached out, grasped the blonde’s forearm. ‘Are you okay, babes?’
Furiously suppressing any reaction to the casual touch, Naomi shook her head minutely. ‘What? Yeah, I’m fine. I just got a bit distracted.’
‘Just got a bit mental, more like.’
‘Hey!’
‘I always knew you had a screw loose, Campbell. Now get the fuck in here before the fucking dinner I slaved over is ruined.’
The meal was, of course, perfect - marred only by the inquisitive, troubled glances Katie periodically directed at her throughout the evening, and the need to constantly suppress her reaction to each casual touch the brunette bestowed on her.
She had a minor epiphany while Katie was bustling about in the kitchen with pudding. Transference, it had to be. Well, what else could it be, causing her heart to thump a disrythmic cadence in her chest, and a wild fluttering in her belly? She was here with Katie, doing all the things she used to do with Emily - the drinking, the dancing, the domestic nights in. It wasn’t about Katie at all.
The knowing made it easier. When Katie placed a bowl of apple crumble in front of her with a smile, Naomi returned it, letting the flutters subside.
****
Naomi’s comforting misapprehension was rudely shattered one day not too long thereafter. Things had settled between them since her revelation, Katie reestablishing their normal routine, with the addition of dinner at hers at least once a fortnight.
They were drinking down the local one Wednesday evening. Katie had an arm slung around Naomi’s shoulders as she laughed uproariously, Julian’s mincing impersonations and scathing anecdotes keeping the whole table in fits of giggles, when she heard a distinct, husky voice raised in outrage.
‘What the actual fuck?’
She would have laughed if she wasn’t so shocked. Every face at the table turned to the petite woman, practically vibrating with fury.
‘Emsy! What are you doing here?’ Katie disentangled herself, pushed past the blonde to stand beside her sister. Tentative hand extended in supplication.
‘What am I doing here? The fuck is she doing here?’
Naomi watch in uneasy fascination as Katie drew her sister out of the way, talked her down. Couldn’t suppress a wince every time Emily shot a disbelieving glace in her direction. Katie’s friends quietly left once they had grilled the blonde for details, more than one of them departing with a comforting squeeze of her hand and a speculative look. So she was alone at the table with her thoughts and her churning stomach when the sisters finally returned. Katie slid in beside her, Emily claiming a chair opposite.
‘So what, you two are friends now?’ A challenge.
‘Looks that way.’
‘The fuck, Naomi?’
A sigh. ‘Yes, we’re friends.’
‘And you never, in all this time, thought to, you know, mention to your sister that you were hanging out with my ex?’ Directed at Katie.
‘Well, no actually. What difference should it make?’ Katie gestured to the ring on Emily’s finger. ‘You’re well moved on now, I don’t see how it matters one way or another to you if we’re friends.’
Familiar brown eyes pinned her in place for a long moment, causing her to freeze, mid-breath. Emily bestowed a similarly intense look upon her sister, then shrugged. ‘You’re right, actually. It doesn’t matter, it’s more...’ The petite woman huffed, caught between exasperation and amusement. ‘Why the fuck didn’t you tell me Kay? I know about every other gay boy and fashion diva that you spend time with, why... you could have told me.’
‘I’m sorry, okay? I just didn’t want it to turn into this big deal and have you and mum up in arms about it.’ Naomi’s control failed her, and a snort escaped at that. ‘Oh, shut it you.’
‘Nice one Kay, because it didn’t turn into a big fucking deal after all.’ Katie rolled her eyes, delivered a playful slap to her shoulder. ‘Jesus.’ She shifted out of the way of another blow, then blue eyes caught the incredulous expression on Emily’s face.
‘Fucks sake. You actually are friends. I would never have believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes.’
It had been awkward at times, conversation stilted, but the three of them had a few drinks together. Cleared the air a bit, had a laugh. Emily seemed completely happy with her life and her choices, and it made Naomi really fucking glad. Knowing that they were finally getting their shit together, starting to make something of their lives. It gave her hope.
The other thing it gave her was closure. By the end of the evening, that chapter of her life, with Emily... it was done. It was a strange realisation, a feeling of dislocation from her past, and yet... And yet why, when Katie hugged her goodbye, deposited a kiss on her cheek, did her stomach flip?
****
The sense of closure was soon overwhelmed by the burgeoning understanding that she did actually fancy her best friend (for that’s what Katie had become). Not only her best friend, oh no, but her ex’s twin sister. It was appalling, it was cliche, it was so many levels of wrong. And she fought it, valiantly. Briefly. For about a week and a half she told herself that it was just the residual feelings, the transference dissipating. Staunchly refused to allow herself to be distracted by Katie’s perfume, or the delicate burr of her lisp. Resolutely kept her eyes averted from the brunette’s cleavage, and the curve of her lips.
Finally conceded, to herself, that she was well and truly fucked the next time she was around Katie’s for a Chinese and wine. The brunette had showered just before Naomi’s arrival, answered the door looking appealingly casual - free of make up and pretence, hair still damp. Naomi felt her heart swoop, her stomach plummet to somewhere in the vicinity of the floor. The last tendrils of denial evaporating like the remnants of fog on a sunny morning.
As far as Katie Fitch was concerned, she was a goner.
She expected it to be difficult, expected it to be a battle to suppress her feelings, keep a distance. The truth of the matter was, it was more of a surrender. Katie was frequently affectionate and demonstrative with Naomi, the blonde having taken some time to become accustomed. Now she revelled in it, savouring each hug, each kiss on the cheek. When they watched tv together she no longer sat on a different chair, or made sure they were separated by a cushion. They would inevitably find themselves snuggled together, Katie’s head resting comfortably against the blonde’s shoulder.
Dinners at Katie’s began replacing their usual nights out, happened with increasing frequency. Some nights they’d still drink, several bottles of wine melting away over the course of the evening. Erin, Katie’s flatmate, would occasionally join them, shaking her head at their lurid reminiscences of college antics. Other nights Naomi would bring her work with her, setting up at the kitchen table and basking in Katie’s quiet company. Often the brunette would sit with her portfolio, sketching designs and drawing up plans for her own assessment. Naomi regularly found herself distracted when Katie worked with her. She had such an adorable look of fierce concentration, the tip of her tongue protruding from between her lips when she was trying to get the lines just so. And her glasses... Naomi nearly swooned the first time she put them on, almost made them both self-conscious with her complete and utter inability to keep her eyes off the smaller woman.
Katie wore her glasses much more frequently after that. Neither of them commented on it.
Two or three times a week turned into four or five. Katie’s friends began to complain that she was neglecting them, so they made a point of getting out at least one night each weekend. Julian’s snarky looks were constant now, and Naomi merely shrugged. Smiled coyly. Denied nothing.
Staying over became the norm, rather than the exception. Many nights the blonde fell asleep with her head on Katie’s lap in front of the tv. She would awaken the next day cramped onto the settee, with the vague recollection of a pillow being placed gently under her head, a blanket arranged carefully over her frame. The impression of a lingering, yet chaste, kiss making her lips tingle pleasantly.
It was confusing and wonderful all at the same time. Katie’s normally affectionate behaviour escalated with each passing day. There was rarely a time that she wasn’t in some kind of contact with the blonde when they were together. Naomi hoarded each moment, tucked it away to ponder over later. At length. In detail. A miser compulsively itemising her accumulated wealth. It was only when she realised that her treasure was compounding that awareness dawned; was it possible Katie felt more for her as well? Jealously watched the brunette each time she interacted with her friends one night, and concluded... nothing useful. It was true that Katie was far more openly demonstrative with her than anyone else, but it wasn’t proof. Wasn’t worth risking things for.
And so the status quo prevailed until one night when they were cooking dinner together at the flat. Impatient for an opinion Katie reached up, deposited a morsel directly into the blonde’s mouth. When Naomi recovered enough equilibrium to chew and swallow (made extraordinarily difficult by the fact that Katie had not stepped away, and was staring intently up at her with an expectant look on her face) she could do no less than praise with exuberance. In response Katie smiled until she glowed - pushed up onto her tip toes and placed a slow kiss on the taller woman’s cheek. Glanced the corner of her lips. They both froze, gazes locked in something that felt like recognition.
The tableau broken only by Erin. ‘Oh fucks sake, you two, you make me sick.’ The derision in her tone was gently mocking, but it was enough to propel the blonde away to a safer distance. One where she was less liable to do something she might regret later. ‘Honestly, you’re like the most loved up couple that never was.’
It was a sobering thought. But it made her wonder. Gave her hope. So later that night (or more precisely early the next morning) when they were both yawning after a long, meandering conversation about everything other than what was happening between them, Naomi decided to take a risk. For once in her life be brave. While Katie disappeared into the bathroom the blonde turned off the lights, made sure the door was locked. Scuttled quickly up the stairs.
As she slipped into Katie’s bed, surrounded by the smaller woman’s scent, she had a momentary panic. Was about to make a bolt for it when she heard the brunette outside the room. Swallowed hard, as Katie paused in the doorway for an agonisingly long, fraught minute. Naomi braced for an outburst, but Katie merely slipped into the bed beside her, snuggled under the duvet. They breathed together for a long moment.
‘Is this... Is this okay?’ She really wasn’t sure what was going on here. Had expected Katie to blast her to hell and back for the presumption. Instead she heard the smaller woman’s breath catch.
‘Yeah. Yeah, it’s okay.’ It was a tone she’d never heard before, a shy wonder. It was so uncharacteristic that she turned to look, eyes straining to make out Katie’s features in the gloom. Found their faces unexpectedly close together. All she could see was deep, rich brown, Katie’s eyes staring into her own. Searching.
Then warm, soft lips were pressed against her own, and she was lost.
It didn’t go beyond a few tentative kisses, but it was enough. They drifted off to sleep wrapped in each other’s arms and a warm, contented peace.
****
‘Let’s just see how it goes, yeah?’
It was Katie’s immediate response each time Naomi even thought about questioning what was happening between them. And because she was flushed with euphoria of their tentative romance, still unsure quite what she thought about it all, she conceded.
The brunette had wanted to keep it a secret too, but their absolute inability to keep hands and lips off each other when they were alone had guaranteed that Erin caught them in a compromising position within the first week. She had snorted, smirked. Ribbed them mercilessly for about ten straight minutes, before hugging them both. Whispered in Naomi’s ear. ‘Good luck. You’re going to need it with that one.’
The blonde wasn’t naive enough to disagree, but in all honesty things progressed between them rather perfectly. They were spending so much time together already that nothing much changed, apart from the intent. When they weren’t together they kept in constant contact via text messages. No matter how mundane the message, each time she saw Katie’s name flash up on her phone it engendered a warm flush, an unexpected feeling of belonging.
Katie sometimes seemed... strangely determined; curiously... desperate. On occasion she would initiate the most intense, the most incapacitating, coherence-robbing kisses Naomi had ever experienced. They’d often happen out of the blue, as they’d be talking quietly, or watching some rubbish on the telly. The smaller woman would practically launch herself at the blonde - kiss her until she couldn’t breathe, until she couldn’t think, until her whole existence seemed framed within the space of their embrace. Suddenly pull away, staring directly into blue eyes. An indecipherable expression on Katie’s face, almost hinting at yearning, at inexplicable, distant pain.
Always Naomi would call her name, gently. ‘Katie.’ And the brunette would throw her arms around the taller woman’s body and squeeze like her life depended on it. Barely perceptible shudders wracking her petite form.
Katie would shake her head, an unconvincing ‘It’s nothing, don’t worry’ doing little to assuage Naomi’s vague unease.
One evening, to combat that feeling of disquiet, Naomi didn’t let Katie pull away. Surged forward when the brunette withdrew, pushed her back onto the bed and kissed her with deliberate intent. Wanted nothing more than to steal every thought out of the smaller woman’s head except her, except them. Katie responded far more ardently than she expected, and for the first time they found themselves fully unclothed, the feel of bare, sensitised flesh pressing together making the blonde groan out loud in pleasure. Brown eyes stared up at her, almost liquid with desire and unbearable vulnerability, stole the last breath from Naomi’s body. She poured her heart into every caress, her soul into each lingering kiss. And when Katie cried out her release, small hand clutching convulsively at the blonde’s shoulders, Naomi felt a sense of accomplishment and pleasure beyond anything she had ever known.
It scared her a little.
Katie proved to be surprisingly adept when she recovered enough to reciprocate, and many hours later, after Erin had banged on the wall repeatedly and told them to shut the fuck up, Naomi questioned her about it.
‘What, you want to know if I’ve fucked a girl before?’ Katie was stretched languidly across the bed, completely uncovered, seemingly relaxed. But there was a hard edge to her tone, and Naomi couldn’t suppress a wince in reaction, wished she’d never opened her mouth about it. The smaller woman held her gaze for a long moment, shrugged slightly, before rolling over and cuddling up against Naomi’s side. Arm wrapped possessively around the blonde’s midsection. ‘I guess that’s fair. Let’s just say... yes. This wasn’t the first time.’ A pause. ‘Is that a problem?’ Challenging.
‘Did you hear me complaining? Fuck Kay.’ Opted for levity, trying to diffuse the tension she could feel in the small body nestled against her side. ‘I was just curious, that’s all, whether it was the product of experience or a crackingly good imagination.’ Katie pinched her side sharply, but her body slumped more fully against the blonde’s side in obvious relaxation.
It was warm and cosy in Katie’s room, and Naomi enjoyed the undemanding intimacy of their embrace, the feel of Katie’s naked length against her side. She allowed her hand to trace a methodical path over the brunette’s flank, memorising the curves and contours, a cartographer mapping out the promised land. So entranced by the feel of smooth skin, the subtle interplay of muscle under the surface, that she was unaware that her touch had moved lower. Dangerously low, in fact - startled when Katie suddenly gripped her wrist, arrested the motion of her hand.
‘You need to stop that now, Naomi.’
‘What?’
‘I’m serious.’ And Naomi could tell that she was. ‘Stop being such a fucking tease, or I swear to god Erin is going to be in here screaming, and it won’t be pretty.’
‘You can’t be quiet?’
‘I can. If I really have to.’
Naomi tugged her hand free of the smaller woman’s grasp, rolled them both until she was hovering over her. ‘You’re going to have to try.’ Urgent.
It was Naomi that moaned then, as she watched Katie react - brown eyes dilating, breaths suddenly short and shallow. She sealed their mouths together, tongue tangling sensuously with Katie’s even as her fingers found the welcoming heat between her legs. They never broke the kiss, but in the end she wasn’t sure who honestly needed to be quieter, because when the smaller woman came with Naomi’s fingers inside her she was almost certain that she was shouting Katie’s name like a prayer to ancient gods.
+ - + - + - + - +
‘Experiment? You think this is just an experiment for me?’ Outraged disbelief. ‘Were you not listening when I told you that you weren’t the first woman I’d fucked?’
She should have expected it, should have known Katie would eventually fight back. She just didn’t expect it to hurt so much. The thought of Katie with someone else... it stung more than she’d ever want to admit. And because it burned she retorted without thinking. ‘Maybe I just didn’t believe it, because you’re so fucking determined to hide it, so entrenched in the fucking closet, how could anyone possibly know?’
Brown eyes sparked, raging incandescence, and the brunette opening her mouth to deliver what Naomi knew would a scathing, vitriolic reply.
Naomi raised her hand in a halting motion. ‘Stop. Just... stop please, okay? I don’t want to be fighting with you about this Katie, I really don’t.’ Relief flooded through her as Katie’s posture softened marginally, one eyebrow cocked in an expression that clearly communicated that Naomi better get the fuck on with this, and quickly. ‘I...’ A pause. ‘I just want to know what this is Katie. I need to know what we’re doing here.’
‘Why don’t you tell me? It sounds very much to me like you’re dumping me, quite frankly.’ It was harsh and demanding, but Naomi knew her well enough now to detect the slight quaver in her voice, the tiny indicators belying her upset.
‘Katie... believe me, that’s the last thing I want.’
‘Are you sure? It fucking well sounds like it.’
‘Kay, please.’ An entreaty. ‘I just...’ Paused, collecting her thoughts. Had to look away, because the brunette’s closed off demeanour, air of impatient belligerence, was making it impossible to find the words she needed to say. ‘I absolutely do not want to end things between us. The last few months have been incredible, really they have. But I just don’t know where I stand with you, and I can’t... I can’t keep doing this, I can’t commit to this if I think you don’t want that, if you don’t really want this.’ Blue met guarded brown, and she injected every ounce of sincerity she possessed into her voice, into her gaze. ‘I need to know that you want this Katie. I need to know that you want me.’
Katie scoffed, rolled her eyes - derision clear in her expression. Naomi’s heart clenched, stopped still for a long moment. When it resumed it was beating a slow dirge. Almost didn’t hear what the brunette said next, overwhelmed by sudden anguish. ‘That’s fucking rich coming from you, isn’t it?’
‘What? What do you..?’
‘I live every fucking day knowing that it’s not really me you want, Naomi. That I’m just a convenient second choice for you.’
‘Katie..!’
‘Do you think it’s fucking easy, knowing that you’re only with me because of her? Fuck knows why I’ve let it go on this long, I should never have let any of this happen. But I fucking... For some stupid, completely fucked up, totally mental reason I... I started to actually care about you, and I thought it would be okay, you know? Thought I could just take what I could get.’
‘Fuck Katie...’
‘Yes, you’re awfully good at that actually. Probably another reason I’ve let this fucking charade go on so long. But did you really expect me to go back and tell my family about this, about what a ridiculous fucking mistake I was making? When I knew that you’d up and fuck off the second it got hard, the second you got tired of pretending that I was Emily?’
‘Katie!’
‘What?!?’ Exasperated.
In her shock she just blurted it out, that half-formed truth that had been hiding from her for months now. ‘You stupid twat, I love you. I love YOU for fucks sake. You, Katie fucking Fitch. Not Emily. This has never been about Emily.’
‘And you expect me to believe that?’ Incredulous. And yet the vulnerability was back in her eyes. Rich brown practically pleading, screaming out ‘Please don’t fucking hurt me.’
And it all made sense.
Katie’s determined nonchalance, her continual refusal to talk about their relationship. The desperate, emotional kisses, the tears in the middle of the night that the brunette didn’t know she was aware of. Her aversion to going back to Bristol for a weekend, or to organise drinks with Emily any time she was in London.
‘Katie...’ Hand extended, she willed the brunette to respond. Watched as the smaller woman waged an internal battle, and wilted. Almost crushed Naomi’s fingers when she finally reached out. ‘It’s really never been about Emily. I promise. I told myself... tried to convince myself that that’s all it was in the beginning, because I couldn’t believe I was stupid enough to be fancying you.’ Brown eyes widened. ‘Fuck, I mean... I didn’t mean it that way, okay? That’s not a reflection on you, I just meant I thought I was turning into some horrible cliche who ended up making an idiot of themselves over a twin who was not interested. And you were my friend, and it just seemed so ridiculous, so I told myself it must have been about her. And then she came to the pub that day, and we had that talk and after that... after that I knew I was over her and I knew it was actually you after all. And it really had been all along, I’d just been fucking kidding myself.’
‘I knew things changed after Em was down, but I thought...’
‘What?’
‘I thought seeing her had made you want her again, and so that’s why you...’
‘Jesus, no. Just no. It was when I finally admitted to myself that I absolutely wanted you, and I stopped fighting it.’ Naomi watched as Katie’s eyes unfocused, gaze going internal. Held her breath, scared to move lest this tentative peace fragment into further discord.
Finally Katie sighed, a huge, heaving breath. Squeezed the blonde’s fingers and blinked, brown locking onto blue. ‘So this truly isn’t about..?’
‘It’s not, it’s really not.’
‘And you really don’t..?’
‘I really don’t.’
‘And it was never..?’
‘It never was, even if it took me a while to realise that.’
The brunette’s solemn demeanour cracked then, allowing a warm, happy, slightly disbelieving smile to beam through. A smile that dispersed the heavy feeling in the taller woman’s chest, called an answering expression to her own features. Small arms were suddenly flung around her neck, her own arms filled with a compact, lithe body that she never wanted to let go of.
‘And do you really..?’ Whispered directly into her ear, almost sub vocal. ‘Do you really love me?’
The barely hidden apprehension, laden with a healthy side of insecurity, tore at her heart, compelled to to answer with fervent sincerity. ‘I really fucking do Katie. I love you.’
‘Good, because I love you too, yeah?’
+ - + - + - + - +
Katie called her family that same day.