Part... 7?
Title: How it Works
Author: Leah (taste_is_sweet)
Rating: R
Warnings: AU. Dubious consent.
Word Count: ~3,500
Summary: "During this Cycle, to put it bluntly, we get so mad with lust that we can't control ourselves."
Notes: The latest instalment in the John!Farr 'verse, set after just about everything that's been posted so far and explaining more about what the hell is going on. Again, Leah is being completely awesome.
~~~
How it Works
"Oh, God," Rodney groaned. "That's not the door, is it? Please tell me that's not someone at the door."
"It's not someone at the door," John said dutifully. But Rodney noted that he still hauled himself out of the tangled sheets, stumbled close enough to a pair of boxers crumpled on the floor to be able to snag them (they were Rodney's), then slid them on and lurched the rest of the way to the door, yawning and running his fingers through the hopeless mess of his hair.
Ronon was standing in the doorway, next to an unhappy-looking Teyla.
"We're kind of busy," John said, looking back at Rodney. Rodney was privately amazed that John was able to be that polite. "Can it wait?"
"No," Ronon said with his usual bluntness. Normally Rodney found that refreshing. He sniffed loudly. "You guys been fucking all this time?"
Rodney groaned again and threw his arm over his eyes. He thought vaguely about burrowing under the sheets, but they were damp and kind of gross.
"What Ronon means is that he is worried about you," Teyla said. "We both are. You haven't come out of this room for nearly three days, and after what happened to Aiden…." She stopped talking, as if unwilling to mention it, and Rodney didn't have to see John's face to imagine his expression. He let his arm flop to the bed and gazed up at the ceiling.
What had happened to Aiden had also happened to Rodney and John, except that he and John had made it back to Atlantis. Aiden hadn't. Rodney knew John wasn't going to forgive himself for that, despite how many times Carson had insisted it was nobody's fault.
Rodney knew he wasn't going to forgive himself, either.
"Carson attempted to explain, but it was…confusing," Teyla said finally, and Rodney could tell by her voice that she meant 'completely and utterly unhelpful' but was too nice to say it.
"Made no sense," Ronon agreed.
Rodney sighed and sat up. "Give us twenty minutes to shower and clean up," he said. "Separate showers," he added pointedly to John when John turned to blink at him. Rodney ran his fingers through his own none-too-clean hair. "I think we're, um, almost done here. And I could use something to eat, anyway."
"Very well." Teyla smiled and inclined her head. "We'll wait for you in the mess hall, then."
John scrunched up his face, looking uncomfortable. "I'd rather meet in your quarters, if you don't mind, Teyla," he said. "I think we could use some privacy for this."
"Can't be any more embarrassing than what Carson told us," Ronon said.
"An early dinner in my quarters would be just fine, John," Teyla said, still smiling. "Ronon and I will have food waiting."
"Thanks," John said. He shot a quick glance back at Rodney. "We'll be there as soon as we can."
"Right," Rodney said. He got up slowly, every movement reminding him just how well and how much his body had been used over the past three days. He was exhausted, filthy, and not even entirely sated yet--he could still feel the pressure of his Cycling, coiled in his belly, his brain. But the desperate, frantic need that had gone with it was muted, subdued. He figured he and John were good for at least two hours before it'd be imperative for them to have sex again. Hopefully they could get back to their shared quarters before then, though the room was pretty disgusting.
"So," John said, once the door had closed. "Shower?"
"Yes," Rodney snapped. "And you can get that hopeful look off your face, Sheppard. I'd like to actually get out of here sometime before my blood sugar crashes. Which means you go first. Alone," he added, right before John could open his mouth.
"Fine," John huffed. He stalked past Rodney, giving him a sour look before he disappeared into the bathroom.
Rodney lay back on the bed and tried not to think of John naked in the shower, with the warm water running over him. Beading on his skin. Caressing….
They were twenty minutes late getting to Teyla's room. But they were very clean.
"Okay," John sighed, after he'd wolfed down two of the sandwiches Teyla had thoughtfully brought for them. They were sitting on the floor of her room in a small circle, sharing a bottle of Ruus wine and a pile of sandwiches. "What exactly did Carson tell you?"
Teyla looked a little pained. "That humans from your world occasionally enter into...." She pressed her lips together, looking distinctly uncomfortable. "Periods, where you cannot control your…that is, you--"
Rodney rolled his eyes. "Yes, yes," he said around a bite of his third sandwich, "your people are prudes and you don't talk about this kind of thing. We get it. I'm sure what Carson was trying to tell you, but bungled beyond all comprehension, was that humans from Earth go into what's commonly called a 'Cycle' between four and six times a year." He cast a glance at John. "Unless they're unlucky enough to Cycle every month, or to have Cycles so erratic that they don't know when they'll start." John gave Rodney a sheepish smile, surprisingly sweet. Rodney couldn't help smiling back. "During this Cycle, to put it bluntly, we get so mad with lust that we can't control ourselves."
"That's not entirely true, Rodney," John said tightly. He looked about as embarrassed as Teyla and Ronon did, which was saying something considering he'd been intimately familiar with the Cycling process since he'd entered puberty. "It's like when animals go into heat," he said, and that finally got a nod of understanding from Teyla and Ronon. "Only worse, because we know what's happening to us, but can't stop it. We can mitigate it, though, by avoiding physical contact."
"That's true, you're right," Rodney said, nodding. "My mistake. Generally, touching someone else while you're in Cycle--providing they're not a child, that is--will trigger an urge to, well, have sex. Only unbelievably powerful."
"That's when it gets impossible to control," John said, sounding miserable. Rodney put his hand on John's leg, and was gratified when John shifted more closely towards him. "You just…go nuts. You're all over the person, whomever it is, before you can even think about it." He looked down at his plate, toying with the crust of another sandwich but not actually picking it up. "Most big towns and cities have what are called 'panic buttons' all over the place. Big, red ones. You're meant to hit it if you get…attacked by someone in Cycle, so you can get help."
"Like what Aiden did to Teyla," Ronon said flatly.
"No!" Rodney burst out. "I'm sorry," he said quickly when everyone looked at him. "But, what Aiden did--and don't get me wrong, Teyla, that was terrible. And I'm really, really glad he didn't hurt you--but that's not normal. People in Cycle don't usually, well, you don't get attacked. It's not like everyone on Earth is expecting to be…to be, well, what Aiden tried to do to you."
Teyla nodded solemnly. "I understand, Rodney," she said. "Aiden was not at all in his right mind when he came after me. I am just sorry that I was not able to stop him before he escaped through the gate."
Considering Teyla was certain she'd broken Aiden's arm, Rodney was wondering what would have actually 'stopped' him.
"Me too," John said quietly, and Rodney nodded in agreement.
"Maybe people in Cycle aren't usually violent, but the panic buttons are there for a reason," John said. "Not everyone is receptive to someone Cycling."
"And that's where we get to Receptors, thank you," Rodney said, jumping in before John could make a mess of it. "Eat your sandwich." He nodded at the slowly drying mass of bread and real turkey on John's plate. "Believe me--I know how many calories you've been burning."
John blushed, but he picked up a triangle and bit into it, eyes narrowed at Rodney the whole time.
Rodney squeezed John's leg a little, then took a fortifying gulp of wine with his free hand. He mentally calculated how long they had before risking giving Ronon and Teyla a free show, adding in the unexpected (all right, he should have expected it) shower sex. At least forty minutes. No problem.
"Receptors are people who are genetically compatible with someone Cycling. Right," he said when the two Pegasus locals just stared at him blankly. "What I mean is, Receptors are people where having sex with them wouldn't end up with scary mutant babies." Teyla and Ronon nodded, though Ronon still looked a little dubious. "It's like this." Rodney lifted his hand from John's thigh and touched his fingertips to his cheek.
John closed his eyes and took a short, shuddering breath, and Rodney felt a bolt of lust arrow down his spine and into his groin. Maybe more like thirty minutes, then.
He swallowed. "As you can see," he said, fighting to keep from croaking, "John and I are pretty compatible." He realized abruptly that he was still touching John's naked skin and whipped his hand away to the safety of his own lap, where he used his clasped hands to neatly hide his erection. "If the person in Cycle finds a Receptor, touching them will trigger what's called a 'Sympathy Cycle' in them as well, which means you'll both want to have lots and lots of sex until the Cycle finally ends."
John gave a one-shouldered shrug. "Mostly, we just take days off if we're Cycling. Stay away from everyone. It's easier that way."
Rodney snorted. "If only." He looked disgustedly at John. "It's a wonder you're not in some asylum for virgins, you know that? Or dead." He snagged another sandwich and took a big bite, shaking his head. "Sure, you can do that for awhile, but eventually, if you don't scratch the itch, so to speak, the Cycle just gets longer. Not to mention Cycle-induced psychosis." He shuddered; just thinking about that was scary. John gave a quick, unhappy nod, but of course he knew exactly what Rodney was talking about, first hand. "The same thing happens if you have a partner who's not actually a Receptor for you, even if they're willing," Rodney went on. "But even the wrong partner is better than celibacy," he added, shooting a glower at John. "Going without sex for too long if you're Cycling can cause actual physical pain, or permanent brain damage, including insanity. Or seizures. It can even kill you." He waved a hand vaguely at his head. "All those hormones racing around. They keep building without any kind of release."
Teyla looked sharply at John. "Is that why you were sent through the wormhole back to Earth? Colonel Carter told me you had a disease that couldn't be cured in my galaxy."
"Yeah," John said quietly. He rubbed the back of his neck, looking ashamed. Rodney wanted to kick him. It wasn't as if that was his fault either. Not any more than Aiden was. "I just…went into Cycle, and there were no Receptors here for me. No one had even really thought about it, because no one on the expedition had ever Cycled before." He shrugged again, both shoulders this time, but he was still looking at his knees instead of at anyone else. "I kept, uh, telling them to get Rodney McKay. So someone finally had the bright idea to see if the SGC could find him."
And hadn't that just been the terror-filled icing on the cake of his crappy non-relationship with Lieutenant-fucking-Colonel watch-me-vanish-out-of-guilt Sheppard, who had managed to disappear again after giving Rodney the best nine days of his life. And Rodney should have known by the sheer, Olympic-sized length of John's Cycle in the first place just how fucked up the guy was. But no, it'd taken about a hundred unreturned voice- and e-mails before Rodney had finally caught a clue that John wasn't planning on seeing him ever, ever again.
So Rodney had gone bitterly back to the SGC, and one afternoon he'd been in Jackson's apartment, jacking himself off sullenly and watching Cameron chew on Daniel's collarbone for a change, when his cell phone rang. When Rodney answered it he was ordered back to the base immediately. Someone's life literally depended on it.
And that someone had been no one other than the Lieutenant I've-got-issues Colonel himself, only he'd been wheeled through the Gate on a gurney, drugged to the gills on morphine and anti-seizure and psychosis medication, a (barely) living example of the peril of a ridiculous, artificially-imposed imperative to propagate the species at all costs.
Ronon stared at Rodney. "So, you fucked him healthy again?"
John made a sound like an audible expression of humiliation. Teyla said, 'Ronon!' with so much shock and horror that Rodney was sure she'd only managed to make John feel worse.
"Sure. All I had to do was shove my magic dick up his ass and, poof!" Rodney snapped his fingers. "All better! No, amazingly," he said, rolling his eyes. "What really happened involved lots of fun-filled hours waiting for John to actually respond to my touching him. As opposed to, you know, dropping dead." Enough time had passed since that first, gut-wrenching sight of John, lying too thin and far-too still that the sarcasm was easy now, though Rodney still had to force himself to even think about it. And the fact that John could possibly die simply from not being in Rodney's presence still kept him up nights, wrapping John tight, tight in his arms as if that could ever really protect him.
"I was not aware of this 'Cycling' before Rodney came," Teyla said. "Why did it happen to you then, but not before?"
"I don't know," John said, though he finally looked up to glance at Rodney. "Carson thinks Rodney was responsible, somehow." He shrugged yet again. "I'd never really gone into Cycle before I met him. Just kind of, halfway, I guess. I'd taken partners occasionally, but it never mattered if they were Receptors or not--the urge went away anyway. And it was always easy to control."
"And then you accidentally touched me in a mall and went haywire," Rodney said grimly. "Not that I'm complaining!" he added hastily when John started toying with his wineglass. He patted John's thigh awkwardly, then found his hand trapped there when John slapped his over it and held on, anchoring Rodney through the surge of lust that came with it. Oh yes, they'd have to go soon. "I'm not complaining at all," he said to John. "But as far as Carson can tell--and that's not very far, really, since this is medicine we're talking about--being in prolonged physical contact with someone who was truly genetically compatible caused John to Cycle again in less than a month. Like he was going through puberty again."
"And that was so much fun the first time," John said dryly.
"I don't get it, though," Ronon said suddenly. He had been listening with apparent rapt attention, leaning back on his arms. "If this Cycle thing is all about making babies, then why do men want to fuck each other too?"
"Oh, that's easy," Rodney said airily. He took another drink of wine, mostly to distract himself from the want coiling more and more tightly in his gut. He put his glass down on the floor and wiped his mouth with the side of his hand. "The Cycle was added to our genetic structure thousands and thousands of years ago by the Goa'uld. Those are creepy aliens who live in the Milky Way, kind of like the Wraith but smaller. And they don't eat humans; just use their bodies as hosts. They're like parasites. Anyway, a couple of them had this brilliant idea to make it impossible for humans to refuse to mate. The people of your galaxy don't have to worry about it because the Ancients took you guys here before the Goa'uld got to Earth. It's a long story," he amended when Ronon started looking bored. "But the point is, whatever they did actually worked against them, since there was no equal imperative to find a Receptor of the opposite sex. And any Receptor will respond to someone in Cycle, regardless of being the same sex as the Cycler or not."
"They must have been disappointed," Teyla murmured.
"Probably," Rodney said dismissively. It wasn't like it bothered him.
John was still mostly looking at his wineglass. Teyla refilled it for him obligingly, but John didn't touch it. He cleared his throat. "Carson's also pretty sure that the particular wavelength of light on PX-9311 was what sent the three of us into Cycle so fast. Me, Rodney and Aiden," he said quietly. He did drink then: a long pull more like he was trying to drown himself than to taste anything. "I'm just lucky Rodney was right there."
Rodney snorted. "Not just you." He jerked his chin at Ronon. "Considering we were both totally out of our minds and he was walking right behind me. If I'd touched him first I'd probably be dead."
Ronon grinned with all his teeth. John smirked, but there wasn't any humor in it, and it fell away far too soon.
"He should've come back by now," John said softly.
Teyla leaned forward and put her hand on his knee. "He will come back to us, John. And if not, we will find him."
John nodded, unsmiling. "Yeah," he said. "Yeah, we'll find him."
"Of course we will," Rodney said, and John squeezed his hand just a little bit harder, as if he believed him.
"I can't stop thinking that it's my fault, you know," Rodney said.
"Hrmph?" John muttered intelligently. He rolled over and flung an arm possessively over Rodney, moving just enough to get his head onto Rodney's chest. "Wazrfalt?"
"Aiden," Rodney said. He stoked John's hair, absently noting that he felt normal again, if tired. It made him feel relieved and strangely a little sad.
John opened his eyes, lifted his head to look at Rodney with a mix of anger and confusion. "Why the hell is what happened to Aiden your fault?"
"Because I'm a Universal Receptor!" Rodney said. "I could've helped him! If I'd just been there, instead of--"
"Instead of helping me? Or yourself?" John snapped. He glared at Rodney. "Tell me, how would letting him molest you have somehow made that whole fucked up situation end up okay?"
"He wouldn't have molested me," Rodney snapped back, then relented when John's expression didn't change. "I know. It wouldn't have been the same as it is with you. Believe me, I know. But it wouldn't have been…terrible."
"Rodney," John said.
"It would've been better than what happened!" Rodney exclaimed. "I mean, we don't even know where he is now! Or if he's okay or anything! What if he's still Cycling? What if he can't find a Receptor out here? He--"
"I know what could happen to him, Rodney," John said. His voice was quiet steel, and it made Rodney stop talking the way it always did. "But the fact that you weren't near enough to help him when he went berserk isn't something you can blame yourself for! It was just the luck of the draw, Rodney." He let out a breath. "Sometimes shit happens."
"I made you send him with Teyla because I wanted to be with you," Rodney said.
John nodded. "And I wanted to be with you. And Ronon's still kind of skittish and prefers to be alone, and Teyla and Aiden get along really well. There was no way we could've known what was going to happen. And what would have happened if you had gotten to Aiden first," he asked seriously. "What then?"
Rodney closed his eyes. He swallowed, used his arm to pull John down to him again.
"You might have gone after Teyla or Ronon," Rodney said, very quietly.
"I might've died, Rodney," John said. "The Cycle wasn't normal."
"I know," Rodney said. He held John more tightly, moved his head to plant a kiss in the mess of John's hair. "I'm so glad that didn't happen."
"Me too," John said. "And I'm really glad that nothing happened to you, either."
"Beyond the humiliation of Ronon having to stun us both and drag us naked through the Gate, you mean," Rodney groused, but smiled to himself when John smirked. "Not that that's not par for the course, or anything."
"People are pretty tolerant of weirdness around here, Rodney," John said. He moved around a bit, getting more comfortable on Rodney's body. Rodney started stroking his hair again.
"We'll get him back," John said quietly.
"I just wish I could've helped him," Rodney said.
"Me too," John said. "Me too."
END
Author: Leah (taste_is_sweet)
Rating: R
Warnings: AU. Dubious consent.
Word Count: ~3,500
Summary: "During this Cycle, to put it bluntly, we get so mad with lust that we can't control ourselves."
Notes: The latest instalment in the John!Farr 'verse, set after just about everything that's been posted so far and explaining more about what the hell is going on. Again, Leah is being completely awesome.
~~~
How it Works
"Oh, God," Rodney groaned. "That's not the door, is it? Please tell me that's not someone at the door."
"It's not someone at the door," John said dutifully. But Rodney noted that he still hauled himself out of the tangled sheets, stumbled close enough to a pair of boxers crumpled on the floor to be able to snag them (they were Rodney's), then slid them on and lurched the rest of the way to the door, yawning and running his fingers through the hopeless mess of his hair.
Ronon was standing in the doorway, next to an unhappy-looking Teyla.
"We're kind of busy," John said, looking back at Rodney. Rodney was privately amazed that John was able to be that polite. "Can it wait?"
"No," Ronon said with his usual bluntness. Normally Rodney found that refreshing. He sniffed loudly. "You guys been fucking all this time?"
Rodney groaned again and threw his arm over his eyes. He thought vaguely about burrowing under the sheets, but they were damp and kind of gross.
"What Ronon means is that he is worried about you," Teyla said. "We both are. You haven't come out of this room for nearly three days, and after what happened to Aiden…." She stopped talking, as if unwilling to mention it, and Rodney didn't have to see John's face to imagine his expression. He let his arm flop to the bed and gazed up at the ceiling.
What had happened to Aiden had also happened to Rodney and John, except that he and John had made it back to Atlantis. Aiden hadn't. Rodney knew John wasn't going to forgive himself for that, despite how many times Carson had insisted it was nobody's fault.
Rodney knew he wasn't going to forgive himself, either.
"Carson attempted to explain, but it was…confusing," Teyla said finally, and Rodney could tell by her voice that she meant 'completely and utterly unhelpful' but was too nice to say it.
"Made no sense," Ronon agreed.
Rodney sighed and sat up. "Give us twenty minutes to shower and clean up," he said. "Separate showers," he added pointedly to John when John turned to blink at him. Rodney ran his fingers through his own none-too-clean hair. "I think we're, um, almost done here. And I could use something to eat, anyway."
"Very well." Teyla smiled and inclined her head. "We'll wait for you in the mess hall, then."
John scrunched up his face, looking uncomfortable. "I'd rather meet in your quarters, if you don't mind, Teyla," he said. "I think we could use some privacy for this."
"Can't be any more embarrassing than what Carson told us," Ronon said.
"An early dinner in my quarters would be just fine, John," Teyla said, still smiling. "Ronon and I will have food waiting."
"Thanks," John said. He shot a quick glance back at Rodney. "We'll be there as soon as we can."
"Right," Rodney said. He got up slowly, every movement reminding him just how well and how much his body had been used over the past three days. He was exhausted, filthy, and not even entirely sated yet--he could still feel the pressure of his Cycling, coiled in his belly, his brain. But the desperate, frantic need that had gone with it was muted, subdued. He figured he and John were good for at least two hours before it'd be imperative for them to have sex again. Hopefully they could get back to their shared quarters before then, though the room was pretty disgusting.
"So," John said, once the door had closed. "Shower?"
"Yes," Rodney snapped. "And you can get that hopeful look off your face, Sheppard. I'd like to actually get out of here sometime before my blood sugar crashes. Which means you go first. Alone," he added, right before John could open his mouth.
"Fine," John huffed. He stalked past Rodney, giving him a sour look before he disappeared into the bathroom.
Rodney lay back on the bed and tried not to think of John naked in the shower, with the warm water running over him. Beading on his skin. Caressing….
They were twenty minutes late getting to Teyla's room. But they were very clean.
"Okay," John sighed, after he'd wolfed down two of the sandwiches Teyla had thoughtfully brought for them. They were sitting on the floor of her room in a small circle, sharing a bottle of Ruus wine and a pile of sandwiches. "What exactly did Carson tell you?"
Teyla looked a little pained. "That humans from your world occasionally enter into...." She pressed her lips together, looking distinctly uncomfortable. "Periods, where you cannot control your…that is, you--"
Rodney rolled his eyes. "Yes, yes," he said around a bite of his third sandwich, "your people are prudes and you don't talk about this kind of thing. We get it. I'm sure what Carson was trying to tell you, but bungled beyond all comprehension, was that humans from Earth go into what's commonly called a 'Cycle' between four and six times a year." He cast a glance at John. "Unless they're unlucky enough to Cycle every month, or to have Cycles so erratic that they don't know when they'll start." John gave Rodney a sheepish smile, surprisingly sweet. Rodney couldn't help smiling back. "During this Cycle, to put it bluntly, we get so mad with lust that we can't control ourselves."
"That's not entirely true, Rodney," John said tightly. He looked about as embarrassed as Teyla and Ronon did, which was saying something considering he'd been intimately familiar with the Cycling process since he'd entered puberty. "It's like when animals go into heat," he said, and that finally got a nod of understanding from Teyla and Ronon. "Only worse, because we know what's happening to us, but can't stop it. We can mitigate it, though, by avoiding physical contact."
"That's true, you're right," Rodney said, nodding. "My mistake. Generally, touching someone else while you're in Cycle--providing they're not a child, that is--will trigger an urge to, well, have sex. Only unbelievably powerful."
"That's when it gets impossible to control," John said, sounding miserable. Rodney put his hand on John's leg, and was gratified when John shifted more closely towards him. "You just…go nuts. You're all over the person, whomever it is, before you can even think about it." He looked down at his plate, toying with the crust of another sandwich but not actually picking it up. "Most big towns and cities have what are called 'panic buttons' all over the place. Big, red ones. You're meant to hit it if you get…attacked by someone in Cycle, so you can get help."
"Like what Aiden did to Teyla," Ronon said flatly.
"No!" Rodney burst out. "I'm sorry," he said quickly when everyone looked at him. "But, what Aiden did--and don't get me wrong, Teyla, that was terrible. And I'm really, really glad he didn't hurt you--but that's not normal. People in Cycle don't usually, well, you don't get attacked. It's not like everyone on Earth is expecting to be…to be, well, what Aiden tried to do to you."
Teyla nodded solemnly. "I understand, Rodney," she said. "Aiden was not at all in his right mind when he came after me. I am just sorry that I was not able to stop him before he escaped through the gate."
Considering Teyla was certain she'd broken Aiden's arm, Rodney was wondering what would have actually 'stopped' him.
"Me too," John said quietly, and Rodney nodded in agreement.
"Maybe people in Cycle aren't usually violent, but the panic buttons are there for a reason," John said. "Not everyone is receptive to someone Cycling."
"And that's where we get to Receptors, thank you," Rodney said, jumping in before John could make a mess of it. "Eat your sandwich." He nodded at the slowly drying mass of bread and real turkey on John's plate. "Believe me--I know how many calories you've been burning."
John blushed, but he picked up a triangle and bit into it, eyes narrowed at Rodney the whole time.
Rodney squeezed John's leg a little, then took a fortifying gulp of wine with his free hand. He mentally calculated how long they had before risking giving Ronon and Teyla a free show, adding in the unexpected (all right, he should have expected it) shower sex. At least forty minutes. No problem.
"Receptors are people who are genetically compatible with someone Cycling. Right," he said when the two Pegasus locals just stared at him blankly. "What I mean is, Receptors are people where having sex with them wouldn't end up with scary mutant babies." Teyla and Ronon nodded, though Ronon still looked a little dubious. "It's like this." Rodney lifted his hand from John's thigh and touched his fingertips to his cheek.
John closed his eyes and took a short, shuddering breath, and Rodney felt a bolt of lust arrow down his spine and into his groin. Maybe more like thirty minutes, then.
He swallowed. "As you can see," he said, fighting to keep from croaking, "John and I are pretty compatible." He realized abruptly that he was still touching John's naked skin and whipped his hand away to the safety of his own lap, where he used his clasped hands to neatly hide his erection. "If the person in Cycle finds a Receptor, touching them will trigger what's called a 'Sympathy Cycle' in them as well, which means you'll both want to have lots and lots of sex until the Cycle finally ends."
John gave a one-shouldered shrug. "Mostly, we just take days off if we're Cycling. Stay away from everyone. It's easier that way."
Rodney snorted. "If only." He looked disgustedly at John. "It's a wonder you're not in some asylum for virgins, you know that? Or dead." He snagged another sandwich and took a big bite, shaking his head. "Sure, you can do that for awhile, but eventually, if you don't scratch the itch, so to speak, the Cycle just gets longer. Not to mention Cycle-induced psychosis." He shuddered; just thinking about that was scary. John gave a quick, unhappy nod, but of course he knew exactly what Rodney was talking about, first hand. "The same thing happens if you have a partner who's not actually a Receptor for you, even if they're willing," Rodney went on. "But even the wrong partner is better than celibacy," he added, shooting a glower at John. "Going without sex for too long if you're Cycling can cause actual physical pain, or permanent brain damage, including insanity. Or seizures. It can even kill you." He waved a hand vaguely at his head. "All those hormones racing around. They keep building without any kind of release."
Teyla looked sharply at John. "Is that why you were sent through the wormhole back to Earth? Colonel Carter told me you had a disease that couldn't be cured in my galaxy."
"Yeah," John said quietly. He rubbed the back of his neck, looking ashamed. Rodney wanted to kick him. It wasn't as if that was his fault either. Not any more than Aiden was. "I just…went into Cycle, and there were no Receptors here for me. No one had even really thought about it, because no one on the expedition had ever Cycled before." He shrugged again, both shoulders this time, but he was still looking at his knees instead of at anyone else. "I kept, uh, telling them to get Rodney McKay. So someone finally had the bright idea to see if the SGC could find him."
And hadn't that just been the terror-filled icing on the cake of his crappy non-relationship with Lieutenant-fucking-Colonel watch-me-vanish-out-of-guilt Sheppard, who had managed to disappear again after giving Rodney the best nine days of his life. And Rodney should have known by the sheer, Olympic-sized length of John's Cycle in the first place just how fucked up the guy was. But no, it'd taken about a hundred unreturned voice- and e-mails before Rodney had finally caught a clue that John wasn't planning on seeing him ever, ever again.
So Rodney had gone bitterly back to the SGC, and one afternoon he'd been in Jackson's apartment, jacking himself off sullenly and watching Cameron chew on Daniel's collarbone for a change, when his cell phone rang. When Rodney answered it he was ordered back to the base immediately. Someone's life literally depended on it.
And that someone had been no one other than the Lieutenant I've-got-issues Colonel himself, only he'd been wheeled through the Gate on a gurney, drugged to the gills on morphine and anti-seizure and psychosis medication, a (barely) living example of the peril of a ridiculous, artificially-imposed imperative to propagate the species at all costs.
Ronon stared at Rodney. "So, you fucked him healthy again?"
John made a sound like an audible expression of humiliation. Teyla said, 'Ronon!' with so much shock and horror that Rodney was sure she'd only managed to make John feel worse.
"Sure. All I had to do was shove my magic dick up his ass and, poof!" Rodney snapped his fingers. "All better! No, amazingly," he said, rolling his eyes. "What really happened involved lots of fun-filled hours waiting for John to actually respond to my touching him. As opposed to, you know, dropping dead." Enough time had passed since that first, gut-wrenching sight of John, lying too thin and far-too still that the sarcasm was easy now, though Rodney still had to force himself to even think about it. And the fact that John could possibly die simply from not being in Rodney's presence still kept him up nights, wrapping John tight, tight in his arms as if that could ever really protect him.
"I was not aware of this 'Cycling' before Rodney came," Teyla said. "Why did it happen to you then, but not before?"
"I don't know," John said, though he finally looked up to glance at Rodney. "Carson thinks Rodney was responsible, somehow." He shrugged yet again. "I'd never really gone into Cycle before I met him. Just kind of, halfway, I guess. I'd taken partners occasionally, but it never mattered if they were Receptors or not--the urge went away anyway. And it was always easy to control."
"And then you accidentally touched me in a mall and went haywire," Rodney said grimly. "Not that I'm complaining!" he added hastily when John started toying with his wineglass. He patted John's thigh awkwardly, then found his hand trapped there when John slapped his over it and held on, anchoring Rodney through the surge of lust that came with it. Oh yes, they'd have to go soon. "I'm not complaining at all," he said to John. "But as far as Carson can tell--and that's not very far, really, since this is medicine we're talking about--being in prolonged physical contact with someone who was truly genetically compatible caused John to Cycle again in less than a month. Like he was going through puberty again."
"And that was so much fun the first time," John said dryly.
"I don't get it, though," Ronon said suddenly. He had been listening with apparent rapt attention, leaning back on his arms. "If this Cycle thing is all about making babies, then why do men want to fuck each other too?"
"Oh, that's easy," Rodney said airily. He took another drink of wine, mostly to distract himself from the want coiling more and more tightly in his gut. He put his glass down on the floor and wiped his mouth with the side of his hand. "The Cycle was added to our genetic structure thousands and thousands of years ago by the Goa'uld. Those are creepy aliens who live in the Milky Way, kind of like the Wraith but smaller. And they don't eat humans; just use their bodies as hosts. They're like parasites. Anyway, a couple of them had this brilliant idea to make it impossible for humans to refuse to mate. The people of your galaxy don't have to worry about it because the Ancients took you guys here before the Goa'uld got to Earth. It's a long story," he amended when Ronon started looking bored. "But the point is, whatever they did actually worked against them, since there was no equal imperative to find a Receptor of the opposite sex. And any Receptor will respond to someone in Cycle, regardless of being the same sex as the Cycler or not."
"They must have been disappointed," Teyla murmured.
"Probably," Rodney said dismissively. It wasn't like it bothered him.
John was still mostly looking at his wineglass. Teyla refilled it for him obligingly, but John didn't touch it. He cleared his throat. "Carson's also pretty sure that the particular wavelength of light on PX-9311 was what sent the three of us into Cycle so fast. Me, Rodney and Aiden," he said quietly. He did drink then: a long pull more like he was trying to drown himself than to taste anything. "I'm just lucky Rodney was right there."
Rodney snorted. "Not just you." He jerked his chin at Ronon. "Considering we were both totally out of our minds and he was walking right behind me. If I'd touched him first I'd probably be dead."
Ronon grinned with all his teeth. John smirked, but there wasn't any humor in it, and it fell away far too soon.
"He should've come back by now," John said softly.
Teyla leaned forward and put her hand on his knee. "He will come back to us, John. And if not, we will find him."
John nodded, unsmiling. "Yeah," he said. "Yeah, we'll find him."
"Of course we will," Rodney said, and John squeezed his hand just a little bit harder, as if he believed him.
"I can't stop thinking that it's my fault, you know," Rodney said.
"Hrmph?" John muttered intelligently. He rolled over and flung an arm possessively over Rodney, moving just enough to get his head onto Rodney's chest. "Wazrfalt?"
"Aiden," Rodney said. He stoked John's hair, absently noting that he felt normal again, if tired. It made him feel relieved and strangely a little sad.
John opened his eyes, lifted his head to look at Rodney with a mix of anger and confusion. "Why the hell is what happened to Aiden your fault?"
"Because I'm a Universal Receptor!" Rodney said. "I could've helped him! If I'd just been there, instead of--"
"Instead of helping me? Or yourself?" John snapped. He glared at Rodney. "Tell me, how would letting him molest you have somehow made that whole fucked up situation end up okay?"
"He wouldn't have molested me," Rodney snapped back, then relented when John's expression didn't change. "I know. It wouldn't have been the same as it is with you. Believe me, I know. But it wouldn't have been…terrible."
"Rodney," John said.
"It would've been better than what happened!" Rodney exclaimed. "I mean, we don't even know where he is now! Or if he's okay or anything! What if he's still Cycling? What if he can't find a Receptor out here? He--"
"I know what could happen to him, Rodney," John said. His voice was quiet steel, and it made Rodney stop talking the way it always did. "But the fact that you weren't near enough to help him when he went berserk isn't something you can blame yourself for! It was just the luck of the draw, Rodney." He let out a breath. "Sometimes shit happens."
"I made you send him with Teyla because I wanted to be with you," Rodney said.
John nodded. "And I wanted to be with you. And Ronon's still kind of skittish and prefers to be alone, and Teyla and Aiden get along really well. There was no way we could've known what was going to happen. And what would have happened if you had gotten to Aiden first," he asked seriously. "What then?"
Rodney closed his eyes. He swallowed, used his arm to pull John down to him again.
"You might have gone after Teyla or Ronon," Rodney said, very quietly.
"I might've died, Rodney," John said. "The Cycle wasn't normal."
"I know," Rodney said. He held John more tightly, moved his head to plant a kiss in the mess of John's hair. "I'm so glad that didn't happen."
"Me too," John said. "And I'm really glad that nothing happened to you, either."
"Beyond the humiliation of Ronon having to stun us both and drag us naked through the Gate, you mean," Rodney groused, but smiled to himself when John smirked. "Not that that's not par for the course, or anything."
"People are pretty tolerant of weirdness around here, Rodney," John said. He moved around a bit, getting more comfortable on Rodney's body. Rodney started stroking his hair again.
"We'll get him back," John said quietly.
"I just wish I could've helped him," Rodney said.
"Me too," John said. "Me too."
END