Thanks for being honest about not reading it through... I know a lot of people *might* have difficulty with this sequel. *shrugs* It's not a pairing for everyone.
Laurie! @_@ Bare with me as I go into excessive detail about my reading experience.
When I started reading this the warning made me nervous, but I was curious. When the petting actually began I dissolved into hysterical laughter - luckily I was listening to The Pillows - "Sayonara Universe" so I did some zen breathing and calmed down.
This was such an unusual experience, I was honestly horrified at first and was surprised when I actually started to like it - around when Yachiru is making him run around and Ichigo is taking the moral high-ground. I like the inclusion of the second event, since it smoothed over whatever misgivings I had at the beginning.
It also unified Yachiru's psychological state for me. Though I will admit that I think Byakuya is a stickler for propriety and would have married her on the spot, lol. By the time I reached the end my playlist reached Brand New - "The Quite Things That No One Ever Knows".
Wonderful, adventurous writing. I applaud your bravery.
Oh such sweet words :) *hugs* I don't mind the hysterical laughter during the petting scene. Really, I was quite squeamish too when I started writing. But I eventually got over it. (Searching for images of teenaged/adult Yachiru fanart helped. There's not many, though.)
I am not sure why I took this piece very seriously -- I wanted to continue Byakuya's psychological arc from 300-301 and (a grown up) Yachiru seems to be the perfect foil for him.
On Byakuya not marrying her right away, yeah, I did think about that -- that's why I delayed posting this for several days. But with my title I felt it would be more unified if the reader was left in *a little* doubt. :) (Although if you ask me he was already determined to get her pregnant in part II...)
I'm glad you found The Seaweed Ambassador such wonderful crack XD
After writing this fic, there's no way for me to redeem my soul so I will not bother.... lalalalala.... *singing*
I didn't have any trouble keeping an adult Yachiru in my head while reading. I thought you did an excellent job with that. The fact that she kept the scarf and the secret for 5 months made it obvious to me that she was an adult with adult thought processes. Many of her other comments and actions though showed her inexperience, were clearly adult in my mind.
I also felt the way you played Byakuya for the first time they had sex was on target. If he hadn't been dead asleep to start with he would have has the willpower to stop.
That being said it was still a little disturbing to see a virginal Yachiru having sex and a Byakuya nearly out of control. Surprisingly enough to myself, I still liked it.
I thought it was well written, thought provoking and it definitely challanged my liberalism. LOL
On another note: I totally loved your asides with Ichigo and Rukia. Rocking baby Orihime and the comment about no diaper changes cracked me up.
*bear hugs* Oh you made my day! :D I'm glad you appreciated the fic, even if you found it a little disturbing.
I originally wrote the usual she's-enjoying-her-first-time sex scene, but I totally scrapped it in order to challenge myself. Too many lemons gloss over the pain that a lot of girls feel when they lose it. I wanted to make this story as real as possible.
And on Byakuya not being able to control himself because he was half-asleep... yeah *grin*
Writing in Ichigo and Rukia as trying out their parenting skills on Orihime was so fun. I really enjoyed writing that bit A LOT. XD
I think it's good you didn't go with the "fun" first time for Yachiru. It might have made the fic more accessible to others, but i don't think it would have gone with the rest of the realism of the story.
So did you enjoy writing the Ichi/Rukia stuff enough for a side fic? LOL
Thanks for changing your mind... I'm glad you gave it a second try :) I poured a lot of work into this piece. It's not meant to be fluffy. Real love is rarely ideal anyway.
Maybe I should put a darkfic warning, but then other readers might say it's not dark enough because it's consensual sex and there are no deaths. Hmm.
A few things that set me laughing (reason or reason-less):
Kuchiki Byakuya, captain of the Sixth Division, hunter of ryokas and Espadas, the first head of his clan to defy family rules in 28 generations, was scared of a young woman.
“I would like my scarf back,” he said lamely.
“Ukitake never showed up unclothed in my bedchamber,” Byakuya bristled.
And so on and so forth.
Ah, yes, you've made Uryuu quite the persistent lover, indeed. A doll? What does he want her to do with it? Chew at its hair and play Dress-up-the-Quincy with it? Hahas
( ... )
*glomp* Oh, we really are so cosmic! :) You're the first one to laugh and mention those one-liners. We have the same twisted sense of humor! Whee.
Yeah, I made Uryuu the persistent lover. It's a sign of love to make a doll for baby Orihime, considering how many bad memories he must have of dolls that look like him. LOL
Hmm... I actually thought about it, what would happen if Ichigo and Rukia would take Orihime with them if they got married and moved to SS. Since Byakuya was the one who legally adopted Orihime in "Nature of Collapse," Yachiru would eventually become her official mother.
*Did your brain just twist and fall out of your head? Me too.*
Poor Byakuya? Definitely. He's suddenly outnumbered in his only home.
I'm glad you think this is a necessary pron sequel. :D And I'm really happy I finished it before your trip on Thursday!
Comments 29
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When I started reading this the warning made me nervous, but I was curious. When the petting actually began I dissolved into hysterical laughter - luckily I was listening to The Pillows - "Sayonara Universe" so I did some zen breathing and calmed down.
This was such an unusual experience, I was honestly horrified at first and was surprised when I actually started to like it - around when Yachiru is making him run around and Ichigo is taking the moral high-ground. I like the inclusion of the second event, since it smoothed over whatever misgivings I had at the beginning.
It also unified Yachiru's psychological state for me. Though I will admit that I think Byakuya is a stickler for propriety and would have married her on the spot, lol. By the time I reached the end my playlist reached Brand New - "The Quite Things That No One Ever Knows".
Wonderful, adventurous writing. I applaud your bravery.
small edits:
she was going to get lash out at him
( ... )
Reply
Reply
I am not sure why I took this piece very seriously -- I wanted to continue Byakuya's psychological arc from 300-301 and (a grown up) Yachiru seems to be the perfect foil for him.
On Byakuya not marrying her right away, yeah, I did think about that -- that's why I delayed posting this for several days. But with my title I felt it would be more unified if the reader was left in *a little* doubt. :) (Although if you ask me he was already determined to get her pregnant in part II...)
I'm glad you found The Seaweed Ambassador such wonderful crack XD
After writing this fic, there's no way for me to redeem my soul so I will not bother.... lalalalala.... *singing*
P.S.
Thanks for spotting the typos! More hugs.
Reply
I also felt the way you played Byakuya for the first time they had sex was on target. If he hadn't been dead asleep to start with he would have has the willpower to stop.
That being said it was still a little disturbing to see a virginal Yachiru having sex and a Byakuya nearly out of control. Surprisingly enough to myself, I still liked it.
I thought it was well written, thought provoking and it definitely challanged my liberalism. LOL
On another note: I totally loved your asides with Ichigo and Rukia. Rocking baby Orihime and the comment about no diaper changes cracked me up.
Reply
I originally wrote the usual she's-enjoying-her-first-time sex scene, but I totally scrapped it in order to challenge myself. Too many lemons gloss over the pain that a lot of girls feel when they lose it. I wanted to make this story as real as possible.
And on Byakuya not being able to control himself because he was half-asleep... yeah *grin*
Writing in Ichigo and Rukia as trying out their parenting skills on Orihime was so fun. I really enjoyed writing that bit A LOT. XD
Reply
I think it's good you didn't go with the "fun" first time for Yachiru. It might have made the fic more accessible to others, but i don't think it would have gone with the rest of the realism of the story.
So did you enjoy writing the Ichi/Rukia stuff enough for a side fic? LOL
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
(The comment has been removed)
Maybe I should put a darkfic warning, but then other readers might say it's not dark enough because it's consensual sex and there are no deaths. Hmm.
Reply
Kuchiki Byakuya, captain of the Sixth Division, hunter of ryokas and Espadas, the first head of his clan to defy family rules in 28 generations, was scared of a young woman.
“I would like my scarf back,” he said lamely.
“Ukitake never showed up unclothed in my bedchamber,” Byakuya bristled.
And so on and so forth.
Ah, yes, you've made Uryuu quite the persistent lover, indeed. A doll? What does he want her to do with it? Chew at its hair and play Dress-up-the-Quincy with it? Hahas ( ... )
Reply
Yeah, I made Uryuu the persistent lover. It's a sign of love to make a doll for baby Orihime, considering how many bad memories he must have of dolls that look like him. LOL
Hmm... I actually thought about it, what would happen if Ichigo and Rukia would take Orihime with them if they got married and moved to SS. Since Byakuya was the one who legally adopted Orihime in "Nature of Collapse," Yachiru would eventually become her official mother.
*Did your brain just twist and fall out of your head? Me too.*
Poor Byakuya? Definitely. He's suddenly outnumbered in his only home.
I'm glad you think this is a necessary pron sequel. :D And I'm really happy I finished it before your trip on Thursday!
Reply
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