The Path of Sorrow Part Four - A

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The Path of Sorrow Part Four - A

Continued from Part Three.


Part Four - A

Soon after I'd dropped onto the bed in this colorless, gray room, the doctor commed me and explained that Blair was being prepped for surgery in order to install the beacon. It would be attached to his right femur, and no cheap medical hack would be able to cut it loose; it would take a medical facility similar to the ship's infirmary to free him from it. But he would not have to be anesthetized, except for a local.

“Should I come down there, Doc?” I wasn't sure if that would make things worse or easier for Blair.

“That's not necessary at all, Detective. Your guide will be in good hands. Please, excuse me for being blunt for a moment, but how knowledgeable are you regarding the bonding process? Beyond knowing that a sentinel and guide have sex to initiate the first steps, that is?”

“I have the basic idea down.”

“Well, I have some resource information on the process that I'd recommend you review, preferably before your guide is sent to you. I'll also transmit his after-care instructions for ensuring his thigh heals correctly; he should stay off his leg as much as possible for two days. The information will be downloaded to your slave right away, and if you have any questions regarding your guide's health, please let me know. I'll give him something to help him relax, and it won't wear off till morning. He may have another dose at that time, if you find it helpful. Just remember that you'll need to be careful about jarring his leg too much, but your guide may engage in the more passive sexual positions.”

“Sandburg. Blair Sandburg.” I pronounced his name slowly, enunciating clearly.

“Excuse me?” The doc sounded baffled.

“You keep referring to him as 'my guide.' He hasn't lost his name, you know.” No, he's just lost almost everything else, though, hasn't he?

“All right, Detective Ellison. Since referring to him by his designation irks you, I'll try and remember your preference for his name. I'm sending you that information now, and Captain Banks will escort him to your current quarters when he's recovered from the surgery.”

He ended the call, and true to his word my slave announced an incoming text comm in the following minute.

I read it over twice. It didn't matter who topped, or whether or not there was penetrative anal sex. Hand jobs, blow jobs, they'd all do the trick, as long as we were in very close body contact when we orgasmed, which would release pheromones specific to sentinels and guides.

Pheromones crisscrossing back and forth, me to him, him to me, would let our brains know it was time to wake up glands that been asleep till now. They'd pump out chemical messages to every part of our bodies, nerve receptors in the brain included, with the end result that after repeating the experience enough times to establish a permanent connection, we'd have a low level of telepathy as well as the empathy from the soul bond.

Oh, and we would have become addicted to each other. Only Blair would satisfy my body from now on, sex with others would just feel off, and orgasms would only be possible with him now. I couldn't even pleasure myself, and that struck me as incredibly unfair. Why in the name of the lowest level of perdition had the ancestors who'd done the genetic adjustments set the bond up this way? The idiots had taken a natural attraction between sentinels and guides and ramped it up, resulting in this restrictive co-dependence. Also, in order to keep from going into withdrawal from each other, we'd have to touch a lot, stay physically close, sleep together cuddled up, if we didn't have sex every few days.

I wanted to feel close to Blair. After all, I'd been attracted to him since I'd seen his holo the first time, but I had imagined being Blair's lover, not his sentinel. I could have had sex with him safely if I'd been taking my suppressants. I'd stopped when Mickey had proposed claiming Blair as my guide to the judge, and now not only would I be able to bond but my senses were sharpening again. I could hear people talking, moving around, machinery, doors opening and closing, and I wondered how Blair's surgery had gone. I concentrated and imagined my hearing following a path through the maze of halls until I'd come to the infirmary. I heard the doctor's voice, and then the whine of medical instruments and Blair's soft murmur telling the doctor that he couldn't feel the touch on his leg. Then there was the sound of his flesh opening up, and I fell into that sound, knowing that I was starting to zone but I couldn't stop myself. I felt much like a drowning person does, knowing they are going under but helpless to stop it.

///

Burbling sounds floated at the edge of my consciousness, persistent, annoying noises that became louder and louder, and I slowly became aware that I was being shaken. The sounds resolved into speech and I realized that Captain Banks had his hand on my shoulder and was calling my name.

“Ellison, you've got two minutes before your ass gets hauled down to the infirmary. Now wake up!”

I found myself able to move again, and I grabbed his hand before he could resume shaking me again. “I'm okay now, sir.”

“Are you sure? That was a zone, wasn't it? I've been trying to bring you out of it for the last five minutes. What set you off?” Banks moved to a nearby chair and lowered himself into it.

I sighed. “I just meant to try out my hearing, but I took it too far. I was listening to Blair before he had his surgery and the last thing I remember was hearing him being cut open. I should comm the doctor, see how he's doing. I won't risk falling into a zone again, since until Blair and I bond I'm going to be a lot more vulnerable to them.”

Simon waved his hand, dismissing my concern. “He's fine. In fact, he's the reason I'm here. He started pitching a fit during his surgery; once the doctor realized that he wasn't upset about the beacon being implanted, but that he thought something was wrong with you, I was commed and asked to investigate, since you didn't respond when Sandburg insisted you needed to be commed.”

I raised my eyebrows. Huh. “He must have felt me fading out through our soul-bond. Is he in recovery now from the surgery?”

“Yes, he should be. He's got to wait for another four hours before the doc will release him, though. Why don't you sack out, since you look kind of beat.”

“Maybe I should go and see Blair for myself.”

“The doctor said to remind you that Blair would rest better if you weren't there to stir him up. It's just four hours, Jim. Get some rest; when Sandburg is released I'll escort him up here. Then it'll be up to you to take over.”

I did feel tired. The times that I'd zoned before I'd noticed this same reaction. You didn't rest in a zone - you were pumping energy into observing whatever miniscule thing had captured your attention.

“Okay, Captain Banks. And thanks for helping out.”

“My name's Simon; when we're off duty, why don't you call me by it?”

I grinned. “Call me Jim whenever you want. Do you really think it's better for me to wait here and not with Blair? We've got a lot to talk about.”

He snorted. “Yeah, I suppose you do. That's why you're going to wait until you've got privacy. You go down to the infirmary now and you might set that kid off. The doctor wants him to stay quiet for now. You can 'talk' to him for the next couple of days. That's how long it's going to take to secure the bond between you and him, right? Just nod your head, Jim. I don't really want to know the details. The doctor will check you both in a couple of days, and see if the bond is working. See that it is. Now get some rest.”

He left then and I undressed and slid under the covers. I checked on how Blair was doing, and he felt calm, relaxed. Ah, the doctor had him drugged then. He was almost asleep; yawning, I closed my eyes to rest them while Blair slept.

///

It only took one look at Blair's blown pupils as Simon pushed Blair's wheelchair over next to the bed for me to comm the doctor.

While I was waiting for Dr. Mako to answer, Simon dumped a duffel on the floor and placed a clear bag which held assorted ampules and pill bottles in it on the bedside table. He looked uncomfortable and retreated next to the door. He probably wanted to relay some instructions on Blair's medical needs, but I held up a hand to stop him.

“Hang on, Simon. I want to find out what in perdition Blair's on.”

“I can answer for myself, you know.” Blair's voice was sultry, pouty, and he was staring at me, licking his lips just as slowly as he'd spoken.

What was taking the doctor so long to respond?

Blair locked the wheelchair's brakes, and then lifted himself up and onto the bed, sprawling out, adjusting pillows under his head and leg.

“C'mon, Jim,” he drawled, his voice all dark smoke. “This is what you wanted, isn't it?” He started stroking his erection, which had been straining the fabric of his knee length sleepers since he'd entered our quarters.

“We could discuss how the drug cocktail cooked up by Dr. Mako has gotten my receptors for oxytocin and vesopressin to be really, really happy since I'm overloaded on bonding hormones, not to mention the cherry on top of the aphrodisiac he gave me, or we could skip the technical jargon and you could just get undressed and let me see what you've got, Ellison, because you know, I've wanted a good look at you since you wined and dined me. No wait, that wasn't you treating me to a sort of date, that was you setting me up to get fucked. Well, congratulations - it worked. So c'mon, and do it. Fuck me. I'll even enjoy it. Just hurry up because I'm ready to burst. But don't worry. The doctor told me I'll have a quick recovery time.”

My comm finally connected. “Hello, this is Dr. Mako,” and I ignored Blair's drugged babbling to find out why he had been sent to me this way.

Unfortunately, while the good doctor defended his treatment, stating that he considered it more humane to relax and encourage Mr. Sandburg to accept the inevitable without any more stress or possibly injuring himself by resisting sexual advances from me, Blair had started in on Simon, since I wasn't responding to him.

“What about you, Captain Banks? Hanging around to see if Jim will share? Sorry, but bonding is a one-on-one kind of thing. No threesomes. But hey, maybe Jim invited you to watch, right? I mean, you are going to be observing us, making sure the guide behaves himself, and that the sentinel is treating him the way he should. Oh, and I'll be another one of your men, won't I, since I'll be with Jim while he's working. And when Jim doesn't need me at his beck and call, why I just bet you'll find other things for me to do. But Jim won't like it if you call me into your office to suck your cock, he'll be able to tell and it will make him cranky. It won't do anything for me, either, because from now on I'm a one man guy. But don't let me get distracted. We were talking about you watching him fuck me, only he'd rather talk on the comm, and you're being so patient waiting for him, so I think you deserve a little reward. So watch this, Captain, My Captain.”

Blair sat up on the bed and untied the loose shift that served as a shirt and slid it off of his shoulders. He pinched one of his nipples, made it hard and dark with blood.

“Sandburg, just stop. I need to talk to Jim for a moment, then I'm out of here and you'll have privacy.” Simon sounded embarrassed and annoyed.

The doctor was telling me how long the 'treatment' he'd ordered was going to last and that there was more of the same in the ampules he'd sent along with Captain Banks.

Blair gave a sexy moan and touched his other nipple, teasing it, and then instead of stopping his little strip tease, he lifted himself up enough to slide his sleepers off, leaving him bare, showing us how ready he was for sex.

Simon growled, “Cover that up, Sandburg. I'm not interested and you can damn well wait for Jim before you turn into a slut.”

Blair just laughed, sounding merry and carefree, and his busy hands were cupping his balls and stroking his dick. Simon pointed to the door. I nodded to let him know I understood, and he stepped out into the hall. We'd talk out there when I was done with the doctor.

“Oh, well, maybe the good captain will feel more like being a voyeur next time. Jimmmm, hurry up! Or this party's going to start without you, and that will waste one perfectly good orgasm since you won't be close enough to suck up all my floaty little bonding pheromones. I've had quite the education down in the infirmary, you know. Dr. Mako, my pal, made sure I knew what to expect and how to act. I told him I didn't want any help, but he said he was the doctor and I was the patient and that he knew best. Legally he can stick anything he wants into my body and my bloodstream, because you know, I'm just convict labor now. But at least I'm still myself, and I'd give you a blow job just for that, Jim. My sentinel. You're stuck with me now, and I have to wonder - why? Why'd you stop me from killing myself, and why do you care if I get mind-wiped and why do you want me for a guide? I mean, you're a fine looking man, and if you'd wanted a guide why didn't you do it years ago?”

He started to breath more heavily and I could smell his arousal, it was so strong. But it was tainted, too. There was no way I was going to have sex with him in this state. The doctor had confirmed what Blair had said. Blair hadn't given permission to be drugged like this; the doctor hadn't even asked him.

I had no more questions for the doctor after he explained about the aphrodisiac, and I quickly ended our conversation. What was done was done, and I understood why Dr. Mako had made that decision. In a way, I think he was fond of Blair, and he thought drugging him into compliance until the bond was established would make it easier on Blair to become my guide.

My guide. Well, my guide was about to explode with an orgasm, and I was going to have to stop him. Dr. Mako, once he understood I was opposed to having sex with Blair in this state, warned me that if Blair came the aphrodisiac would affect me as well. The drug in Blair's body would change as he came and he would expel it through his breath and pores. It would be very hard for me to resist having sex with Blair, once it hit me. There was a street version of this drug called Orgy Fun, and sometimes vindictive people would drug up some poor person and turn them loose at a party. Before the fun had ended anybody who'd stuck around would have had sex at least once, usually with the original victim. There was a prevention patch that you could wear, if you wanted to be very sure that nobody could drug you like that, but Dr. Mako didn't have one in the infirmary at this time.

So I was going to have to take drastic action. Blair was whining to himself, the hand on his dick taking off in velocity, and he seemed beyond the point of trying to entice me to join him. I strode to the bed, shoved the wheelchair out of the way, and picked him up. I carried him to the bathroom and stepped into the shower, setting him on his feet. With one arm around his waist to support him, I changed the switch from sonic to cold water and let the blast of icy water deluge both of us.

Blair hollered and made enough racket to wake the dead, including cursing me with increasingly inventive fervor, but I just held tight to him and let the cold water do its job. He did get the worst of it, since he was in front of me. We were both shivering hard but he'd gone limp - all of him -- and quiet when I finally turned off the water. Then I explained why I had done what I did.

I helped him out of the shower still holding him around the waist, and grabbed a towel and handed it to him.

He promptly dropped it. He looked so miserable, shaking, his lips a bluish shade, that I picked it up, laid it on the closed toilet seat and then deposited him on top of it. Then I wrapped him up tight in several towels before stripping my own wet clothes off and drying myself.

“And they call me a bastard,” he mumbled. He swayed and almost toppled over.

I helped him stand and after he almost face-planted on the floor again, even with me supporting him still, I philosophically picked him up again. He thumped me on the chest in protest, but he couldn't put enough force in it for it to hurt.

I deposited him on the bed and then I unwrapped the damp towels from him and redressed him in the white sleepers he'd arrived in. He cooperated. Sort of. I was drying his hair when he reached out and took my dick in his hand.

“Once upon a time, I wanted to do this, you know.” He was still shaking hard, and his lips remained tinged with blue. I gently disengaged his hand, and then went back to drying his mop of curls. Damn stuff took forever to get mostly dry, and I worked in silence, Blair's eyes becoming wet and shiny. When I was done playing hair dresser, I laid my hand on the back of his neck, and he looked up at me. He was beautiful, his eyes so blue and wide, and I felt heartsick for him.

“We have to bond, Blair. Or you'll go to one of the prison factories or farms and have about enough brain cells left to drool happily when somebody pats you on the head.” I shifted my hand to tug the covers free from under his body, and then I checked his surgery scar. It was small, and it was the warmest spot on his body, red and angry looking. Synthetic skin had been layered over the incision and I rooted around in the bag of supplies the doctor had sent along. I applied topical anesthetic, and stuck on a large band-aid over it, then handed him an antibiotic and a pain med. He looked at them dubiously. “It's just regular meds, Blair, to prevent any infection, plus a pain reliever, but the pain med is optional, if you don't want it.”

He sighed and dry swallowed them, then hugged himself, still shivering.

“I wish I could use some of the remedies the shamans were teaching me, instead of these, but I guess that's not practical right now.”

“At least the pills don't taste bad. Every remedy Incacha ever gave me tasted foul. But they did work, even if my mouth felt like something crawled inside and died.”

Blair smiled a little. Then he frowned. “Incacha? I haven't met him yet but I've heard of him. You know him?”

“It's a long story, Chief, and I'll be happy to tell it to you. But first let's get you comfortable. Uh, I have to do something to you and you may not like it, but for tonight it's necessary. That cold shower knocked back the love-drug the doc gave you but it's likely to come back with a vengeance when you warm back up. Before you nod off, though, I think we both could do with a hot drink.”

I pulled the covers over him and he turned on his side, watching me while I made two cups of Melana, a hot drink that was supposed to help with sleep. It was tasty, and I thought Blair would like it. He'd drunk a lot of different types of teas when we were out in the jungle together.

“Jim, how mad do you think Captain Banks is going to be? I mean, that drug kind of lowers inhibitions - a lot, apparently - and I said some things to him that he didn't like. He's probably really disgusted with me. He'll have me scrubbing toilets to teach me some respect, I guess.”

Shit. Simon. I'd forgotten about him, but I needed to finish taking care of Blair first and put back on some clothes.

I brought over the Melana and Blair sat back up to drink it. I looked at his eyes. Still dilated. That drug was going to be in his system all night long and he was going to want sex again as soon as he was good and warm. And sex just couldn't happen.

I drank my own drink quickly, and then I looked through Blair's duffel. There were several changes of clothing, including a bathrobe with a tie. I picked up the belt and felt it; the material was soft and long enough for what I wanted. We'd try it out and if it couldn't hold Blair securely, then I'd comm for bondage restraints. I didn't really want to do that. The Pride of Cascade was no more immune to gossip than any other place I'd been stationed, and Blair and I were no doubt the top story right now. Knowing that I'd used bondage gear on my guide would just add fuel to that fire. But I thought the belt would do the trick just fine.

I took Blair's empty cup from him and efficiently bound his wrists together with the soft material and then tied the free ends below the bed. Blair could move his hands up his body, but he couldn't reach his dick.

“No, Jim, don't say it. I get it. This way I can't jack myself back up and put you at risk of having sex with me. Although? Why not? Why are you waiting? Just fuck me and get it over with. I consent, okay?”

I shook my head. “You're still drugged, Blair, although that cold shower sobered you up a bit. I'm not going to fuck you or jerk you off when you can't really consent. That would be rape.”

Blair laughed, a bitter tinge to it. “You might as well, man. I've been fucked over so much lately that another round won't even matter.”

“No. We'll talk again in the morning. I am going to sleep with you, because you're still cold, but we're not having sex tonight.” I brushed my fingers over his forehead. “I'm going to see if Simon is still waiting for me outside, and then we're both going to bed. You get some sleep, and I'll keep watch.”

“God, I was in torment before when you wouldn't touch me. What if I get like that again? You can fuck me, Jim. I don't even care anymore.”

“That's why, Blair. I want you to care and I want this to be consensual between us. If you get too horny, I'll dump your cute little ass back in the shower.”

He groaned and flopped back down on the bed. I got an extra blanket out of a closet and placed it over him. His eyes were getting hazy and I learned over and kissed him on the forehead. He wrinkled up his nose and I thought he looked adorable. I really was in love with him.

“You're kind of a sap, aren't you, Jim? I should be furious with you right now, because if you hadn't arrested me I wouldn't be in this fix, and I can promise you I will be pissed at you later, but not now. Must be the bonding drugs...” He dozed off and I touched the electric collar that was still around his neck. He wouldn't be taken off of suicide watch until medical tests showed that the bond was in effect.

I dressed and opened the door; Simon was still waiting for me. I apologized for keeping him waiting, and he rolled his eyes.

“That kid has a mouth on him. I know he was under the influence, but you let him know that he'd better toe the line with me when he's working with you.”

“He's afraid you're going to make him scrub toilets as a penance.”

Simon gave a snort of laughter. “I think I'll mention it when I go over what I expect from him. Get some payback for all that porn talk he was spouting on the way over here and for what he said in your room. And Jim, just for the record, I don't ever want to watch you and the kid having sex. Just so you know.”

“Well, we didn't. Have sex, I mean. He can't give consent in that state, and I had to give him a cold shower to keep him from coming, or I'd have been drugged, too. The doc gave him the medical version of Orgy Fun.”

“You really think it's going to be easier on the two of you when the drugs wear off?”

“No. But there are some lines I won't cross and rape is one of them. Sex without informed consent is rape, that's the legal definition and I hold to it.”

“Okay, Jim. I wanted to explain about how the beacon is going to work, Blair's already on the map, and I'm going to station a guard outside these doors until the bond is complete. Beacon or not, I don't trust Sandburg to not make a run for a fringe world outside of our jurisdiction, if he can. So, stay alert, all right?”

Simon spent some time giving me information then, and he commed for a guard to take over for him. I thanked him for his assistance and quietly went back inside.

Blair was asleep, but as I slid into bed and wrapped my arms around him - he was still cold - I noticed that his cock was half-erect. I couldn't let him come, not even in his sleep, so I geared myself up to stay awake while I cuddled him.

It felt right to me to hold him in my arms. I risked a small kiss to the back of his neck, pushing aside the heavy mass of hair.

He would be my guide. I'd wanted him as a lover, but I'd take him as my guide. He would adapt, and I'd treat him well. I wouldn't make him feel like he was my personal body slave, although I was sure that was how he was going to be viewed by others.

His case was not closed. Not to me. I'd find who was behind the Yana trade, and clear Blair's name. At least when I proved his innocence, he'd still have a mind and could reclaim some of his life back.

I could only hope that he wouldn't break the bond. But that fear wouldn't stop me from helping him. Even If he later rejected me and left me a broken sentinel and him a damaged guide.

///

We had two more rounds of cold showers before Blair's eyes returned to normal. He'd taken a swing at me when I put him into the shower for the last time, but although he'd landed a solid blow, it didn't stop me from forcing him to sit down on the floor of the stall before I turned on the icy water.

I was tired, and I was glad that I'd gotten some sleep earlier yesterday. Poor Blair had come out of the shower both times almost crying, but he hadn't let himself do it. I wish that I hadn't had to practically torture him, but he'd been humping the sheets and trying to squirm on top of me to trigger an orgasm.

Oh, the words that had come out of that sweet mouth. Holy Higher Powers, I seriously had thought I might have to gag him before he got me to come without my dick even being touched, and it would hardly be fair for me to have the pleasure that I was denying to Blair.

When his pupils were normal again, I untied his hands and wrapped myself around him again and gratefully started to drift off, and Blair, who'd hardly had a restful night, gave a great sigh and totally relaxed against me.

“You're a dick, Ellison.”

“I know. But I'm your dick. Wait. That didn't come out right.”

The last thing I remembered before I was totally out was Blair's surprised chuckle. It was a good sound. I hoped I'd be hearing a lot of it.

///

We both slept till early afternoon. I woke up first, and commed for some food to be sent in, and then took a hot shower. Blair was still asleep, and I watched him as he struggled back to consciousness, remembering the time spent in the jungle together. Blair waking up had always amused me back then.

But I wasn't feeling any amusement at the moment. We needed to talk, and we needed a plan. So far, I'd concentrated on trying to find evidence to clear him. I'd failed, but that didn't mean I wouldn't keep trying. We could keep trying. If Blair was totally honest with me perhaps there were clues he could tell me that could get us back on track with finding the real culprits.

We needed to hammer out our own private agreement about how to handle the sentinel and guide relationship. In addition to our own personal arrangement, we couldn't forget about what the court had demanded we do, either. Blair would have a caseworker, and if that person didn't feel Blair was being an appropriate guide, then we would find ourselves back in court and Blair most likely would not be given a second chance as my guide. He'd be mind-wiped and become just another convict laborer on one of the many incarceration farms or factories.

We needed to bond, and Blair had to give consent. I thought that he would - the emotions I'd received from him all indicated a loathing of being mind-wiped and baffled gratitude that I'd supplied him with another option. Still. Bonding. Tying our lives together when neither one of us had ever wanted that kind of constriction with a lover.

He was bound to ask me why I'd done it. He'd be able to tell if I outright lied. So maybe I shouldn't. Maybe I should take the risk of rejection and tell him the truth -- that I was in lust, in love with him.

Love makes people do crazy stuff. Everybody knew that. But I knew it wasn't reciprocal. Blair didn't love me, and he wasn't in love with me. But maybe he'd grow into it.

Maybe just me being in love with him would be enough to make this work.

Blair sat up and yawned and rubbed his eyes. It was cute, and it made me smile. Things like that were why I'd fallen for him. However, I knew him well enough to know that if I told him why I was smiling at him right now, he'd want to throw another punch at me.

I didn't enlighten him.

He staggered out of bed and put weight on his leg, and then went a little white and sat back down abruptly on the bed. I went over to him and took a look, pulling down his sleeping pants. The skin still looked red, but it looked to me to be healing okay.

“Did you forget the doc said to stay off that leg for two days? Hmm... Why didn't he give you crutches?” I hoisted him up and supported him as we made our way to the bathroom.

“Guess he thought I didn't really need them, since he expected me to be horizontal and getting fucked for the next couple of days.” Blair sounded matter-of-fact, but I sensed the bitterness his tone concealed.

“I'll have some sent up for you. Are you hungry? A meal is on its way.” Since we were in the bathroom, I asked, “Do you want to take a hot shower?”

“Oh, I think I'm clean enough, don't you?” Blair said dryly.

“You do know that I wouldn't have made you take those cold showers if it wasn't necessary, right?”

“Yeah, I do. Now, unless you want to help me pee, and I'm not judging if that's a kink of yours, I think I can manage in here by myself.”

I left him holding onto the sink, told him I'd already put his stuff in the cabinet and to holler when he was done.

///

Blair swallowed the last of his sandwich, and wiggled on the bed until he was comfortable again, supported by pillows. He patted the space next to himself, inviting me join him. I did.

“Jim, I gotta ask. Why? Why did you target me? Why claim me as your guide? Why in the name of perdition do you care what happens to me?”

So I told him. I explained how I'd been brought into the case because I had once lived with the Sho'nakan people and that I was just following orders when I'd gotten to know him.

“I didn't come up with your name, Blair. You were already the main suspect, and we need to talk more about how that might have occurred, see if we're missing something. But later, okay?”

Might as well throw all my credits down on the table and answer his other questions.

“I liked how you looked when I first saw your holo, but after I met you I was conflicted, because I was attracted to you, a suspected criminal. Not just because you're a beautiful man - yes, you are, now quit making faces, I'm talking here - I liked you. I fell in love with you, and when it looked like you were guilty of smuggling the plants I was so disappointed in you and also myself, for allowing myself to have feelings at all about a criminal I caught with his hand in the till. But to be honest, I wouldn't have asked you to be my guide if you hadn't been arrested. I wanted us to be lovers, sure, but for me to become a sentinel again? No. I didn't want that. But that was the only way we - Mickey and I - could find to keep you from being mind-wiped. Me to claim you, because those old laws, if you remember the arguments in court, have precedence.”

Blair was silent for a while and I waited for his reaction. He grasped my hand in his. Finally, he spoke up. “Jim, do you think I'm guilty?”

“No. Well, I did at first, but now I think you were set up to take the fall for somebody else.”

“If you thought I was guilty would you have still claimed me for your guide?”

That was a good question. I cleared my throat before I answered. “Yes. Because the man I'd gotten to know might have made mistakes, but he would never intentionally do harm, so if you had been the one smuggling the plants it would have meant you didn't understand the ramifications of what you'd done.”

“Wow. I'm... I don't know how to react to that. But you wouldn't have asked me to be your guide except to save my ass?”

“True. But Blair, I'm asking you now. Will you be my guide?”

He shoved my hand away. “Of course I'm going to say 'yes.' What's my other options? You took away my choice to die. The court will take away my mind, my personality, if I turn you down. Because after last night, I get it. You're not going to just take me, like some barbarian raider. I have to agree, and I can't even tell myself that it was because of the drugs. No, I have to tell you I'll be your guide cold-stone sober. So, Jim, I'm saying yes. Yes. You can fuck me. Yes, I agree to the sentinel bond. Yes, I'll live with you and sleep with you and work with you and I'll do my best to be a good guide, because I know you didn't have to do this for me, and you're like some fairytale hero, sacrificing your independence to rescue me, and hey, you totally should have some sex as a reward, and it's funny, in a way, because so many people have assumed I'm a piece of change and I just ignored them, but this time, I'm thinking I will feel like a whore, because you're paying me by letting me keep my mind in one piece, and hey, I'm grateful and I'll be happy to blow you or you can fuck me, and maybe you've got a few kinks and I'll do those, too. Do you want to piss on me? Put me in bondage gear? Did you have fun tying me up last night? Whatever you want, Jim. It's all for sale, but only to you from now on. So I'm saying yes. So let's not waste any more time, do you want me on my hands and knees, or with my legs drawn up to my chest? Want my mouth on your dick? Whatever you want, Jim.”

His breath was hitching by the time he'd finished his diatribe.

“C'mere, you poor kid.” I pulled him to me and held him as he finally let himself cry. It wasn't pretty, the way he sobbed and he had to blow his nose a few times, but eventually the tears stopped running down his face.

“Now do you want that hot shower?” He nodded, and I helped him into the shower. “Do you want me to keep you company?” He shook his head and I left him to have some privacy.

Blair didn't love me, but he was good-hearted. I knew he'd do his best to make me not regret claiming him.

We'd talk some more after he had a chance to regain his composure. I'd explain how he and I could work together, and how that this wasn't a one-sided deal. I'd be gaining mastery over my senses, and being in physical contact with him would greatly alleviate spikes and zones. Also, the telepathy we would have would allow him to bring me out of a zone when mere touching didn't work.

He'd said yes. He would be safe now, with me.

The door to the bathroom opened and Blair stood there, wet and naked. “Jim, can you get me that bathrobe?”

I brought it to him and helped him back to the bed and made him comfortable. I propped myself up on the bed, but left some space between us. I opened up myself to sense his feelings, and he was tired again, and I felt no spark of sexual interest within him at all.

Okay. I had to only think about how wanton he'd acted yesterday and I could feel my own arousal rising. Blair glanced at me with resignation; he'd read my feelings. “I can always take that drug again, if you want me to.”

That statement acted like a cold shower on my own desire. “No. I want the real thing, and I'll wait for it. Let's just relax, okay? Want to play Eight Card Lose 'Em, or watch a holo-movie? Blair shook his head.

“Maybe later. Why don't you tell me how you ended up with the Sho'nakan, and how you know Incacha. He's a very respected shaman, and I had been invited to sit at his campfire and learn from his wisdom. I'm sorry that I'll never be able to do that now, or finish my studies.”

“I don't see why not. After all, it will be expected for Enqueri to return home so all can meet his guide. We can stay as long as you like, if Simon agrees. I've got tons of vacation time I've never taken, and you could work on your doctorate. But will the university still accept you or will you get booted out on a morals clause?”

“Oh, they'll cut me loose. But I still want to complete my work anyway. I'm stubborn that way.”

“I noticed.”

“You're not supposed to agree with me, you're supposed to tell me that you never thought of me as being stubborn.”

I snorted and pulled him nearer to me, my arm loosely around his shoulders.

“Shush now, and I'll tell you the story of how James Joseph Ellison, one of Orion's Hunters, was betrayed and left mind-wiped on the planet Quyllur.”

I felt a rush of sympathy from him, and I tucked him close under my chin, so I could play with his hair while I told him of my past.

///

Continued in Part Four - B.

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