Fic: A Brandnew Start (1/1)
Title: A Brandnew Start (1/1)
Author: laughter_now
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 2288 words
Disclaimer: Still don't own them. Still hoping, though.
Summary: Sleep is becoming a rarity, but Leonard finds he doesn't mind.
Warnings: Fluff. Two men and a baby-fluff. No mpreg, though.
This is kind of a sequel to Secrets, because so many people asked for it. It's not absolutely necessary to have read that story, but it'll help understand the context.
emiliglia suggested to see Secrets as part of the Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder 'verse, which is an awesome idea and now officially a fact. :D Thanks for that suggestion. So this is Jim and BAMF!Bones about ten years into the future...
A Brandnew Start
The room wasn't entirely dark. The nightlight in the corner cast a gentle glow through the room, throwing slow-moving shadows against the wall. It was just bright enough to see everything clearly, but not so bright that it would disturb Jim who was sleeping in the adjacent room.
Leonard didn't need the light to move around, anyway. He knew his way around the room in his sleep by now, and that was no damn figure of speech, either. More than once he had stumbled in here with his eyes closed, trying to wring out a few more seconds of sleep wherever he could, even if it meant learning how to move while his mind was still fast asleep. But thanks to Jim he had been able to sleep through the past two nights so that he could wrap up a research project he had been working on for Starfleet Medical. He was well-rested, so he wasn't all that surprised that the small squawk had already been enough to wake him up. Or maybe it had been some internal clock thing. They had been asleep for about three hours, so the squawk probably hadn't been a random sound, but rather the first announcement of impeding starvation.
"Hey there," he whispered as he leaned over the crib. "You're getting hungry, aren't you?"
It was destined to be a one-sided conversation, but still Leonard decided to take the small snuffling sound as impatient agreement. For a short moment, he simply stood there and looked down into the crib, marveling at and awed by how completely and utterly perfect this was.
Down in the crib, the baby's small ribcage was moving up and down in time with softly huffed breaths, and Leonard knew that if he held his hand down to cover the chest, he would also feel the soft and rapid beating of the small heart, beating away at twice an adult's normal pace. It was a wonder, simple as that, eleven pounds of pure miracle that Leonard could stare and marvel at endlessly.
But it was all wrapped up in such a fragile package, so small and vulnerable that Leonard couldn't suppress the almost constant urge to shelter, to wrap himself around that little body and make sure that no harm was ever going to come to him.
With a smile, Leonard reached down into the crib and carefully lifted the small, warm body out of the bed, unable to keep the smile from widening impossibly as he settled the little boy snugly against him, his face pressed against the crook of his neck.
David.
His son. Their son, and that was something he was never going to tire of. Their son. Eight weeks and three days old, and ever since five weeks ago, he was the center Leonard's and Jim's world revolved around.
Babies had a keen sense of smell, Leonard knew that, but still it got to him every time how David's face pulled into a small frown when he lifted him out of his crib while he was still half asleep, only to relax once he held him against him. The thought that David recognized him that way, and that he considered his presence calming, soothing and safe, was…it went beyond description. There was pride there, definitely, but also - love. It was still brand-new and completely different from anything he had felt before, even from the kind of love he felt for Jim, but it was right. Unconditional, and something he had been waiting for, for a very long time. All his life, maybe.
Holding David securely with one hand, Leonard picked up the bottle of formula he had brought with his other and walked over towards the rocking chair in the corner of the room. The old-fashioned wicker-chair had been a gift from Winona, because according to her a nursery needed a proper rocking chair, and in all honesty neither Leonard nor Jim had been stupid enough to argue about it with her. Besides, it was comfortable, and since David always made a fuss about eating, they both spent plenty of time in that chair. By now, Leonard was pretty damn grateful for it.
He settled in the soft cushion and shifted David so that he lay on his left arm, the small head pillowed against his elbow. By now he was wide awake, and blinking up at Leonard from his big brown eyes. Leonard knew that after lifting him from his crib, David was still giving him the benefit of the doubt, but if no food was forthcoming, there'd be very loud vocal complaints in the near future.
He put a towel over his shoulder, checked the temperature of the bottle again and then brought it towards David's mouth.
"All right, junior, how about just this once we try to get this done without you falling asleep halfway through the bottle?"
Small, rosy lips opened greedily as David started sucking on the bottle enthusiastically. It always started out like that, but a lot of times David would fall asleep in the middle of drinking, only to start squawking loudly as soon as either of his fathers tried to put him to bed again. Midnight feedings could easily take up to an hour if their kid was particularly fussy and didn't want to fall asleep again.
Almost automatically, Leonard started rocking the chair slightly back and forth, completely captivated by the sight of his son drinking greedily from the bottle. Five weeks, and he was completely, utterly and hopelessly lost.
"I know you were just getting used to having Jim on midnight duty. But we'll let him sleep through the night for once, won't we? Your Daddy needs some sleep, and I think the two of us are going to manage just fine on our own."
His only response was the soft sound of wet sucking. Quite a bit of the bottle was empty already, but David was slowing down, his eyes slowly dropping close.
"Now come on, little one. We both know how that's going to end. You're going to get hungry again in about an hour or two, and then I have to drag my old bones out of bed again, just as I've fallen asleep. Trust me, it's easier if you just drink it all now and we both get a little more sleep afterwards. I'm not the youngest anymore, I need my sleep, sweetheart."
David didn't seem particularly impressed by that announcement. The sucking decreased, but as Leonard gently drew back the bottle and pulled the nipple out of his son's mouth, David stirred and uttered a small squawk of protest.
"Shhh, sweetheart. It's okay. I've got you."
He eased the bottle back between David's lips, smiling down at him as he continued sucking down the formula. Truth be told, he enjoyed these moments. Not the part where he and Jim hadn't gotten a full night's sleep since the adoption had come through, or all that getting up in the middle of the night. That part was exhausting. But he loved these quiet moments between David and him, when the baby was a warm weight against his chest and he could revel in that inexplicable feeling of belonging like this. It was relaxing and made it all worth it, despite the lack of sleep.
From the corner of his eyes he saw movement, and he wasn't surprised to see Jim walk over towards them, hair tousled from sleep and his boxer shorts riding low on his hips. Before Leonard could even ask his husband what he was doing up, he brushed a kiss against Leonard's head. Almost automatically, his fingers ran gently over David's hair, then he settled on the floor beside the rocking chair, leaning his head against Leonard's knee.
Leonard stopped the gentle rocking motion of the chair, eyes seeking out Jim's in the dimly lit room.
"Why aren't you asleep?"
Jim shrugged, one hand reaching up for David's finger, and a smile spread on his face as the baby reflexively closed his fingers around his thumb.
"I woke up and you weren't there. So I thought I'd see what my two favorite people in the entire galaxy were up to."
"He was getting hungry."
Jim frowned a little at that. "I didn't hear him."
The bottle was two-thirds empty by now, and David seemed well on his way to falling asleep again.
"I caught him before the full-blown wailing started. In fact, I think we're nearly done. Aren't we, sweetheart?"
He eased the bottle our of David's mouth again, and this time there was no protest. Leonard wiped a stray drop of formula from the corner of the baby's mouth, then gently lifted David up and held him against his shoulder, soothingly patting the little boy's back with one hand.
"That's unfair," Jim bemoaned, head still leaning against Leonard's leg and his hand, now no longer captured by their son's fingers, settled against Leonard's sternum instead. "I think he kept me up for nearly an hour last night."
If Leonard hadn't been paying attention, he might have missed the small notion of insecurity in Jim's voice. Five weeks of being parents was plenty of time to get used to a lot of things, but not everything. Hell, Leonard was sure they hadn't seen anything yet. But they were both new to this. They had both been scared of doing something wrong at first, and even after all those weeks it still shone through occasionally.
"I got lucky for once."
"Or maybe you're just doing it right."
Leonard chuckled and, since he had no free hand, waited until Jim looked up and met his eyes.
"Some babies fuss like he does. It's normal. Just a couple of days ago he kept me up nearly all night long, and you didn't think I was doing anything wrong then, either."
Jim sighed, leaning his head further against Leonard's leg. Leonard knew that Jim loved this little boy just as strongly and completely as he himself did, but he also knew that some of Jim's self-worth issues ran so deep, they would always flare up again. Not often, or constantly, but they were there.
Of course it was ridiculous. Everybody who had ever seen Jim with David would attest to that. And Leonard himself saw it daily, had been there every minute along the way as they both had tried to find their way into this new role as parents. Most importantly, he saw the way Jim was with David, the way those parental urges he claimed he never had, had become instinctively attuned to their baby's needs in such a short span of time.
He knew Jim worried needlessly, but he could relate to the fear of doing something wrong, of screwing this little boy's life up somehow. He wasn't completely free of that, himself.
David's small back hitched slightly underneath Leonard's gently patting hand, and he slowly lifted him away from his shoulder and wiped some spit-up milk off his chin.
"There you go, sweetheart. Ready to go back to bed now?"
David made a small, sleepy sound against Leonard's shoulder that was probably less of an answer to the question than a general expression of comfort, but Leonard had learned over the past weeks to imagine his answers where he didn't get them clearly.
Jim got back to his feet in one fluid, graceful movement as Leonard got up from the rocking chair. And really, it was unfair that Jim possessed this much grace at ass o'clock in the morning, when he was barely awake, while Leonard distinctly heard his own bones creak as he struggled back into a standing position with David balanced against his shoulder.
He did a quick diaper inspection - which fortunately revealed that any changing could probably wait until the next round of feeding. David was already breathing deep, even breaths against Leonard's neck as he gently cradled the small head in his palm and lifted the baby away from his shoulder. Jim was standing beside him, and he bent down to tenderly kiss David's chubby cheek.
"Good night, little one."
They settled David back into his crib, and for a moment Leonard just stood and looked down at this small miracle that was their son. He knew that the wonder and astonishment he was feeling was still showing clearly on his face in moments like this. Sometimes, he still couldn't believe that they had really done it, that they had given up Enterprise and life in space; that this was their life now. There were moments when it scared him just as much as he marveled at it.
When Jim wrapped his arms around him from behind, the warm skin of his chest pressing against Leonard's back, he leaned into the touch and intertwined their fingers.
"He took nearly the entire bottle. He should be out like a light for the next couple of hours."
Jim's lips pressed against Leonard's neck. "Then let's try and get some more sleep."
And they really should, because chances were good that David was going to wake up again in just a few short hours. He followed Jim's gentle tug on his hand and allowed his husband to lead him over towards their bed. With a last glance towards the crib that was illuminated in the nursery's dim nightlight, Leonard settled on the mattress and into Jim's arms.
So what if the nights were ridiculously short? As far as Leonard was concerned, it was more than worth it. Giving up space for this had been worth it.
He tightened his arms around Jim as his husband shifted and sleepily mumbled something unintelligible against his bare skin.
Definitely worth it.
The End
Thanks for reading. As always, please let me know what you think. Thanks a lot.
Author: laughter_now
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 2288 words
Disclaimer: Still don't own them. Still hoping, though.
Summary: Sleep is becoming a rarity, but Leonard finds he doesn't mind.
Warnings: Fluff. Two men and a baby-fluff. No mpreg, though.
This is kind of a sequel to Secrets, because so many people asked for it. It's not absolutely necessary to have read that story, but it'll help understand the context.
emiliglia suggested to see Secrets as part of the Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder 'verse, which is an awesome idea and now officially a fact. :D Thanks for that suggestion. So this is Jim and BAMF!Bones about ten years into the future...
A Brandnew Start
The room wasn't entirely dark. The nightlight in the corner cast a gentle glow through the room, throwing slow-moving shadows against the wall. It was just bright enough to see everything clearly, but not so bright that it would disturb Jim who was sleeping in the adjacent room.
Leonard didn't need the light to move around, anyway. He knew his way around the room in his sleep by now, and that was no damn figure of speech, either. More than once he had stumbled in here with his eyes closed, trying to wring out a few more seconds of sleep wherever he could, even if it meant learning how to move while his mind was still fast asleep. But thanks to Jim he had been able to sleep through the past two nights so that he could wrap up a research project he had been working on for Starfleet Medical. He was well-rested, so he wasn't all that surprised that the small squawk had already been enough to wake him up. Or maybe it had been some internal clock thing. They had been asleep for about three hours, so the squawk probably hadn't been a random sound, but rather the first announcement of impeding starvation.
"Hey there," he whispered as he leaned over the crib. "You're getting hungry, aren't you?"
It was destined to be a one-sided conversation, but still Leonard decided to take the small snuffling sound as impatient agreement. For a short moment, he simply stood there and looked down into the crib, marveling at and awed by how completely and utterly perfect this was.
Down in the crib, the baby's small ribcage was moving up and down in time with softly huffed breaths, and Leonard knew that if he held his hand down to cover the chest, he would also feel the soft and rapid beating of the small heart, beating away at twice an adult's normal pace. It was a wonder, simple as that, eleven pounds of pure miracle that Leonard could stare and marvel at endlessly.
But it was all wrapped up in such a fragile package, so small and vulnerable that Leonard couldn't suppress the almost constant urge to shelter, to wrap himself around that little body and make sure that no harm was ever going to come to him.
With a smile, Leonard reached down into the crib and carefully lifted the small, warm body out of the bed, unable to keep the smile from widening impossibly as he settled the little boy snugly against him, his face pressed against the crook of his neck.
David.
His son. Their son, and that was something he was never going to tire of. Their son. Eight weeks and three days old, and ever since five weeks ago, he was the center Leonard's and Jim's world revolved around.
Babies had a keen sense of smell, Leonard knew that, but still it got to him every time how David's face pulled into a small frown when he lifted him out of his crib while he was still half asleep, only to relax once he held him against him. The thought that David recognized him that way, and that he considered his presence calming, soothing and safe, was…it went beyond description. There was pride there, definitely, but also - love. It was still brand-new and completely different from anything he had felt before, even from the kind of love he felt for Jim, but it was right. Unconditional, and something he had been waiting for, for a very long time. All his life, maybe.
Holding David securely with one hand, Leonard picked up the bottle of formula he had brought with his other and walked over towards the rocking chair in the corner of the room. The old-fashioned wicker-chair had been a gift from Winona, because according to her a nursery needed a proper rocking chair, and in all honesty neither Leonard nor Jim had been stupid enough to argue about it with her. Besides, it was comfortable, and since David always made a fuss about eating, they both spent plenty of time in that chair. By now, Leonard was pretty damn grateful for it.
He settled in the soft cushion and shifted David so that he lay on his left arm, the small head pillowed against his elbow. By now he was wide awake, and blinking up at Leonard from his big brown eyes. Leonard knew that after lifting him from his crib, David was still giving him the benefit of the doubt, but if no food was forthcoming, there'd be very loud vocal complaints in the near future.
He put a towel over his shoulder, checked the temperature of the bottle again and then brought it towards David's mouth.
"All right, junior, how about just this once we try to get this done without you falling asleep halfway through the bottle?"
Small, rosy lips opened greedily as David started sucking on the bottle enthusiastically. It always started out like that, but a lot of times David would fall asleep in the middle of drinking, only to start squawking loudly as soon as either of his fathers tried to put him to bed again. Midnight feedings could easily take up to an hour if their kid was particularly fussy and didn't want to fall asleep again.
Almost automatically, Leonard started rocking the chair slightly back and forth, completely captivated by the sight of his son drinking greedily from the bottle. Five weeks, and he was completely, utterly and hopelessly lost.
"I know you were just getting used to having Jim on midnight duty. But we'll let him sleep through the night for once, won't we? Your Daddy needs some sleep, and I think the two of us are going to manage just fine on our own."
His only response was the soft sound of wet sucking. Quite a bit of the bottle was empty already, but David was slowing down, his eyes slowly dropping close.
"Now come on, little one. We both know how that's going to end. You're going to get hungry again in about an hour or two, and then I have to drag my old bones out of bed again, just as I've fallen asleep. Trust me, it's easier if you just drink it all now and we both get a little more sleep afterwards. I'm not the youngest anymore, I need my sleep, sweetheart."
David didn't seem particularly impressed by that announcement. The sucking decreased, but as Leonard gently drew back the bottle and pulled the nipple out of his son's mouth, David stirred and uttered a small squawk of protest.
"Shhh, sweetheart. It's okay. I've got you."
He eased the bottle back between David's lips, smiling down at him as he continued sucking down the formula. Truth be told, he enjoyed these moments. Not the part where he and Jim hadn't gotten a full night's sleep since the adoption had come through, or all that getting up in the middle of the night. That part was exhausting. But he loved these quiet moments between David and him, when the baby was a warm weight against his chest and he could revel in that inexplicable feeling of belonging like this. It was relaxing and made it all worth it, despite the lack of sleep.
From the corner of his eyes he saw movement, and he wasn't surprised to see Jim walk over towards them, hair tousled from sleep and his boxer shorts riding low on his hips. Before Leonard could even ask his husband what he was doing up, he brushed a kiss against Leonard's head. Almost automatically, his fingers ran gently over David's hair, then he settled on the floor beside the rocking chair, leaning his head against Leonard's knee.
Leonard stopped the gentle rocking motion of the chair, eyes seeking out Jim's in the dimly lit room.
"Why aren't you asleep?"
Jim shrugged, one hand reaching up for David's finger, and a smile spread on his face as the baby reflexively closed his fingers around his thumb.
"I woke up and you weren't there. So I thought I'd see what my two favorite people in the entire galaxy were up to."
"He was getting hungry."
Jim frowned a little at that. "I didn't hear him."
The bottle was two-thirds empty by now, and David seemed well on his way to falling asleep again.
"I caught him before the full-blown wailing started. In fact, I think we're nearly done. Aren't we, sweetheart?"
He eased the bottle our of David's mouth again, and this time there was no protest. Leonard wiped a stray drop of formula from the corner of the baby's mouth, then gently lifted David up and held him against his shoulder, soothingly patting the little boy's back with one hand.
"That's unfair," Jim bemoaned, head still leaning against Leonard's leg and his hand, now no longer captured by their son's fingers, settled against Leonard's sternum instead. "I think he kept me up for nearly an hour last night."
If Leonard hadn't been paying attention, he might have missed the small notion of insecurity in Jim's voice. Five weeks of being parents was plenty of time to get used to a lot of things, but not everything. Hell, Leonard was sure they hadn't seen anything yet. But they were both new to this. They had both been scared of doing something wrong at first, and even after all those weeks it still shone through occasionally.
"I got lucky for once."
"Or maybe you're just doing it right."
Leonard chuckled and, since he had no free hand, waited until Jim looked up and met his eyes.
"Some babies fuss like he does. It's normal. Just a couple of days ago he kept me up nearly all night long, and you didn't think I was doing anything wrong then, either."
Jim sighed, leaning his head further against Leonard's leg. Leonard knew that Jim loved this little boy just as strongly and completely as he himself did, but he also knew that some of Jim's self-worth issues ran so deep, they would always flare up again. Not often, or constantly, but they were there.
Of course it was ridiculous. Everybody who had ever seen Jim with David would attest to that. And Leonard himself saw it daily, had been there every minute along the way as they both had tried to find their way into this new role as parents. Most importantly, he saw the way Jim was with David, the way those parental urges he claimed he never had, had become instinctively attuned to their baby's needs in such a short span of time.
He knew Jim worried needlessly, but he could relate to the fear of doing something wrong, of screwing this little boy's life up somehow. He wasn't completely free of that, himself.
David's small back hitched slightly underneath Leonard's gently patting hand, and he slowly lifted him away from his shoulder and wiped some spit-up milk off his chin.
"There you go, sweetheart. Ready to go back to bed now?"
David made a small, sleepy sound against Leonard's shoulder that was probably less of an answer to the question than a general expression of comfort, but Leonard had learned over the past weeks to imagine his answers where he didn't get them clearly.
Jim got back to his feet in one fluid, graceful movement as Leonard got up from the rocking chair. And really, it was unfair that Jim possessed this much grace at ass o'clock in the morning, when he was barely awake, while Leonard distinctly heard his own bones creak as he struggled back into a standing position with David balanced against his shoulder.
He did a quick diaper inspection - which fortunately revealed that any changing could probably wait until the next round of feeding. David was already breathing deep, even breaths against Leonard's neck as he gently cradled the small head in his palm and lifted the baby away from his shoulder. Jim was standing beside him, and he bent down to tenderly kiss David's chubby cheek.
"Good night, little one."
They settled David back into his crib, and for a moment Leonard just stood and looked down at this small miracle that was their son. He knew that the wonder and astonishment he was feeling was still showing clearly on his face in moments like this. Sometimes, he still couldn't believe that they had really done it, that they had given up Enterprise and life in space; that this was their life now. There were moments when it scared him just as much as he marveled at it.
When Jim wrapped his arms around him from behind, the warm skin of his chest pressing against Leonard's back, he leaned into the touch and intertwined their fingers.
"He took nearly the entire bottle. He should be out like a light for the next couple of hours."
Jim's lips pressed against Leonard's neck. "Then let's try and get some more sleep."
And they really should, because chances were good that David was going to wake up again in just a few short hours. He followed Jim's gentle tug on his hand and allowed his husband to lead him over towards their bed. With a last glance towards the crib that was illuminated in the nursery's dim nightlight, Leonard settled on the mattress and into Jim's arms.
So what if the nights were ridiculously short? As far as Leonard was concerned, it was more than worth it. Giving up space for this had been worth it.
He tightened his arms around Jim as his husband shifted and sleepily mumbled something unintelligible against his bare skin.
Definitely worth it.
The End
Thanks for reading. As always, please let me know what you think. Thanks a lot.