A Nice Day in the Life of an Asshole

[the_house_rules]

Who: House and YOU
What: Day in the life.
When: All day. But in weird places. Because he's House.
Where: Around.
Why: Because House just can't wait to be nice to you.
Warnings: I'm going to be an ass and slap this up mid-flood to do some nice interactions, but I work late the next few days, as usual, so KNOW GOING INTO THIS that you'll be doing

Comments

8:30 AM - Dining Hall

[the_house_rules]

House arrived in the dining hall bleary eyed and dressed in vaguely rumpled clothes, suggesting he was still in what he wore yesterday. He got coffee and a bagel and turned to go find himself a table.

Re: 8:30 AM - Dining Hall

[ingenue_bait]

When he got to the table, he'd find his bagel missing. The man looked bleary and incompetent--easier to steal his food than find his own.

Unfortunately... there weren't many shadows to melt back into and being tall and dressed all in black did not in fact help Erik blend in.

Oh you stole food from the wrong man, mon cheri.

[the_house_rules]

Setting his tray on a table, he pulled out the chair and saw that... he did not, in fact, have a bagel anymore.

House whipped around and, with little effort beneath these electric lights, saw a man dressed in black who appeared to be trying to disappearing into non-existant shadows. House narrowed his eyes at him, and did not shy away from accusing him.

His first thought, though, was that this was some cohort of Snape sent to ruin his morning.

"Did you take my bagel?" He couldn't call him an asshole, like he wanted to, because he had to be nice.

[ingenue_bait]

He'd seen him! How had he figured it out? Not that Erik was going to admit to anything--one hand went to the inner pocket of his cloak, where... there was no Punjab lasso. The other was attempting to hide the bagel behind said cloak.

"What bagel?" Erik said inanely.

10 AM - YOUR CHOICE (let's see how this works...)

[the_house_rules]

((ooc - at 10 AM, House is trolling around. If your character is somewhere and you want House to be nice to them, feel free to see him wherever you are.))

10 AM - YOUR CHOICE (let's see how this works...)

[houseatemylunch]

Wilson was wandering the barge, getting acquainted with where everything was, when he saw a most unexpected - and entirely too familiar - face.

"House?" His tone was surprised, laced with obvious disbelief at what he was seeing. "What the hell are you doing here? I didn't tell anyone where I was going, there's no way you could have found out."

He honestly couldn't believe it. House had managed to show up here, of all places, when distancing himself from House was pretty much the reason Wilson had left in the first place.

So we're in a hallway, then. Just to be sure.

[the_house_rules]

That voice. He'd known him long enough that he would recognize his voice anywhere

Yes, some hallway.

[houseatemylunch]

Been here over a month? How in the the name of everything sane had House been here over a month? Wilson's eyes went wide, and he was clearly confused.

Wilson was also confused by the fact that House wasn't limping. There wasn't even a hint of a limp, no trace of pain on his face, nothing that indicated there had even been anything wrong with his leg in the first place.

Finally he found his voice, "I was trying to distance myself from you. Only you're here, so apparently I'm meant to endure you forever."

Over a month... Wilson struggled to put the pieces together, to try and figure it out. But none of it made sense.

"Why aren't you limping?" he asked, thinking that might be the easiest of his questions to answer.

11:30 AM - Not in the Infirmary

[the_house_rules]

He should have been, but no. He was already half an hour late for his shift, and awkwardly, he had to get past the infirmary to return to his room, and was doing just that: sneaking past the infirmary to go take a nap.

11:30 AM - Not in the Infirmary

[emptyyourself]

[Snape was on his way to the infirmary to have a look at West - comatose for no apparent reason, and therefore intriguing - when he spotted House. While it might have been in his best interest to avoid the other man, he couldn't help but be amused. When you've worked in a school long enough, you tend to recognize what "sneaking" looks like.

He called out - very loudly, at that - to his new arch-nemesis.]

Doctor House! How good to see you feeling in top form.

[He glanced toward the infirmary doors, and continued in that obnoxiously chipper and very loud tone.]

Going on shift, are you?

11:30 AM - Not in the Infirmary

[the_house_rules]

[House cringed and turned, spotting Snape, who not only had seen him but had loudly called to him whilst he was sneaking. House wanted to throw Snape into the shark's tank and eat popcorn and watch.]

No, actually I'm just going to my room...

[He looked at Snape as if he were insane. Snape... was... enjoying this flood? Fucking pervert.]

11:30 AM - Not in the Infirmary - Asshole Snape is enjoying this, indeed.

[emptyyourself]

[He smirked at House's obvious discomfort.]

Oh, but you're such a blessing to the infirmary! Poor Martha and the others. They're so overworked.

Surely a brilliant doctor such as yourself would never allow his colleagues to carry on the burden?

[With each emphasis, he raised his voice.]

Alone. Unaided. Toiling without the benefit of your genius?

[Funny how one could find ways to make someone else miserable when they really tried.]

4 PM - On Deck

[the_house_rules]

"What the..."

Leaves. There were leaves? On the deck.

House looked up. Up and around were stars, which made sense, because this was a space and time traveling ship. What did not make sense was how there were leaves on the deck when there was A. no trees and B. a forcefield or something keeping space out and them all in.

House looked around to be sure there were no witnesses, and when he was sure there were none, he let himself smile. He liked autumn. Maybe he'd go to CES for a jog later...

Re: 4 PM - On Deck

[mrs_persson]

Una came around a corner just then, lighting a cigarette.

"Afternoon."

On Deck.

[the_house_rules]

House glanced up and then away, off over the edge of the barge and slid his hands into his pockets. It seemed that any time you managed to get away from people for a minute here, someone popped up. House was far too solitary a person for this much togetherness.

Add to this the fact that if he opened his mouth, he'd have to say something nice, and it wasn't making for a good day for House.

Re: On Deck.

[mrs_persson]

All right. Not the talkative sort, apparently. Una could deal with that. She smiled a little and took a drag on her cigarette before adding, "Not bothering you, I hope."

8:15 PM - Library, being an asshole to compensate for all this niceness.

[the_house_rules]

Fuck the niceness. House was in the library with a pen.

He was scratching out random words and adding inappropriate ones so that in one book, periodically it read "titty" rather than "city," and in a children's book about a stuffed monkey, there was a moral at the end about spanking it. This was going on in many many books. House has actually been here about fifteen minutes, unleashing his mayhem upon unsuspecting potential future readers.

Re: 8:15 PM - Library, and sorry, you get an angry dwarf.

[deepdowndark]

Ardent was busy working. Outside of normal hours, but he liked spending as much time as he could in the library. It was slightly darker than most other common areas and he worried about these books. A lot.

Seemingly, rightfully so. He spotted a man doing something to some books, and got over there as fast as he could. This was why he needed to stay at work. He walked over and reached up onto the table (stupid human things meant that you could only see his head and his hand as he did this), and put a palm on the book, then tried to pull it deliberately away from House.

"I will not tolerate this."

LOLL, House has a tiny adversary. <3

[the_house_rules]

House just about jumped out of his skin when a tiny hand clapped down onto the book he was editing, and the person attached was just a head.

Recovering, House narrowed his eyes, and pulled the book towards himself childishly.

"Excuse me, but I'm busy." His tone was more pleasant than his actions. He was currently drawing very very detailed, anatomically correct penises all over Lord of the Rings.

[deepdowndark]

Ardent frowned up at him, but didn't go to grab the book again. Not just yet. "Busy committing blasphemy and defacing public property. I demand you desist."

The problem was, he felt just a little powerless in protecting these books. He wanted his axe, or some dwarf bread, but all he had was his words. These humans didn't understand the power of words like he did.

So an axe would be nice.