Those Who Wander (2/2)
Title: Those Who Wander (2/2)
Characters: Eleven, Rose
Rating: PG-13
Summary: He wondered if it was irony, some sick cosmic joke, or fate that she was, once again, there to witness his final goodbye.
A/N: First part can be found here, but this works by itself as well. :) I quite enjoyed writing Eleven; maybe I'll do more of him in the future, once I give Nine a chance at the spotlight. Un-beta'ed like the last part, so please excuse any errors.
He wondered if it was irony, some sick cosmic joke, or fate that she was, once again, there to witness his final goodbye.
His wayward companions hadn’t returned yet; they were still running around getting shot at by the Dalek, blindly following his other (younger?) self and pretending that they would save him when the time came. Silly, really; didn’t they know that he couldn’t be saved, that his record was already so tainted that the universe felt it necessary to build him an inescapable prison so that he couldn’t cause any more damage?
And yet here she was, standing before him, his golden angel.
“You’re being noble again, aren’t you?” She asked, as he staggered down the steps (rolled, more like). “Sacrificing yourself for the greater good, not caring that there are actually people who love you and want you to live.”
He stared up at her, forcing his eyes to focus. “Better me than them.”
She sighed, but helped him up. “You’ve got to stop being so hard on yourself. I haven’t come all this way to let you fail now.”
“You still have a ways to go, yet,” He grunted, as she draped his arm over her shoulder. They set off down the hall at a stilted pace. “This isn’t the me you’re looking for.”
“Dunno,” she replied, smiling slightly. “But this is the you that needs me.”
He couldn’t really argue with that logic; he always needed her, always had. He just hadn’t realized that it was she he was looking for until he found her. “For a little while, at least. Then you’ll have to… well… it won’t be good for you to see the newest lot, would it? It would be like Sarah Jane all over again,” He replied. Reversed roles, of course, and River seemed like the kind to be jealous. He shuddered at the thought.
Rose’s smile grew. “Don’t worry; I won’t bully the new kids. Though I have met the Roman; he told me about you, actually. I had to hop along his time stream a bit until it finally coincided with yours again. You had him waiting a long time.” Her voice didn’t sound accusatory. She knew about waiting, after all. Only she had decided that she had had enough of it and came back.
“The boy and girl who waited,” he said. “It seemed fitting. They’re married, you know, or going to be if I can fix this. Figured what’s hers is his, decided that titles should be shared too.”
“So, what? Am I the Oncoming Storm as well then?” At his look, she elaborated, “That time on Gretal, with Jack, remember? Stumbled upon that flower ceremony, thought it was some local thing, ended up tied together and forced to kiss over that lava pit while dangling fifty feet in the air?”
He had thought she didn’t know the significance behind that. “Not official. Wasn’t ever consummated.” He felt himself blush a little at that, thoughts of Rose and naked and them together flashing through his mind. He would have been lying if he said he hadn’t thought about it; he had thought about it all the time (still did). But he had taken the coward’s way out, and look where it had landed them; trapped on other sides of a white wall, being left behind on a wind-swept, desolate beach. Not for the first time he wondered if the cowardice and his attempt to protect his hearts from the inevitable break was worth it.
She didn’t seem to be phased by his answer. “Had the piece of paper… well… what passed as paper to prove it. Assuming you still have my room, it’s under the mattress.”
“Course I still have your room,” he replied, wondering if he would even survive to be able to check if it was really there. “Why would I get rid of it?”
She didn’t seem to have an answer, and the sudden appearance of the Pandorica, large and looming, provided an out. “You don’t have to do this, you know,” She said, quietly.
“Yes, I do.”
Seconds passed into eternity as they both looked at the forbidding structure. He slipped his arm off her shoulders, took a few wobbling steps toward it, collapsed and hung on to the armrests as Rose said, suddenly, “It’s just, I’ve been so lost without you. Every day, I would think, ‘What would the Doctor do?’ and realize that I never asked, ‘What would I do?’ You became my entire life, Doctor, changed me, and I was scared of the person I would have turned out to be without you there to guide me.” She looked at him, and he realized that there was fear and determination in her eyes. “And now that I see you, I realize that I’m not lost anymore, and even though you aren’t the right you, I can’t… I can’t leave you, Doctor.”
He didn’t know what to say. Was scared to speak, actually. It was so, so easy to insist that she stay here, to allow himself this one selfishness, say everything he never could have, before… but he couldn’t. There were things that had to happen, and they hadn’t even occurred to her yet.
History is already unweaving; a voice that sounded suspiciously Northern muttered in his mind. It’s not like there’s a risk of reapers at a time like this. Keep her to yourself, just a little longer.
“Can you help me up?” He asked, instead, and Rose nodded and settled him in the chair.
With shaking hands he pulled out River’s manipulator. Rose’s eyes narrowed, but she didn’t question him. Wordlessly, she did as he asked, and when the last wire was connected, she said, “I can hear her, you know. The TARDIS. Heard her as soon as I landed in this time. I know what’s going on, Doctor, and I know what you’re going to do.” She hesitated, looking in his eyes; the amber flecks seemed to burn. “Are you sure you’re doing the right thing?”
He nodded; there really wasn’t anything else he could do. “Rose…” he hesitated.
“Yeah?”
“Tell me. What was it like, being lost for so long?”
“It felt like dying,” she murmured, and he nodded. It had felt like that to him, too.
Carefully, she cupped his face, and added, “But then I remembered something.”
“What?”
She gave him that smile, the one that made him feel like he could do anything if only she'd keep looking at him like that. "I discovered there is life after death."
He laughed, a little breathlessly, a little desperately. “Rose Tyler, you always know just what to say.” He paused; his energy was already running dangerously low, and he could feel the edges of fatigue creeping up on him. He had been running on adrenaline up to this point, high on seeing Rose one last time, high on a purpose. Now that Rose was almost gone and that purpose was about to be fulfilled, his body was shutting down. His free hand covered hers, and he leaned into her touch. “When you find him, remember something.”
Rose’s smile grew a bit watery, and her eyes sparkled with unshed tears. “Shouldn’t you not be telling me this, foreknowledge and all that?“
He smiled and told her anyway.
“Promise me?” He asked, knowing she never broke her promises. Perhaps it was cheating, a bit, but he didn’t care at this point. If his plan worked, one could hardly blame him for being selfish and making the universe a bit brighter, now could they? If it didn’t, it wouldn’t matter anyway, so no harm done. At least, not to anyone else. He wondered if it would hurt, not existing, or if he, too, would simply… disappear.
“I promise,” she whispered. Giving him one last smile and squeezing his hand, she took a step back, blinking back tears. “I’ll be seeing you, Doctor.”
“Not if I see you first,” he replied, forcing a smile. His vision was going black now.
He had already closed his eyes by the time she vanished. Only the ghost of pressure against his cheek and the faintest whiff of her shampoo remained to prove she had even existed.
////
After all was said and done, after the cake was cut and toast made and the children exhausted after dancing and sweets and being, well, children, the Doctor leaned against the doorway and watched Amy and Rory dance.
It had been interesting, being remade from memories, and he still tingled a bit from the experience. The TARDIS assured him all was as it was meant to be, that he and all his past lives were intact and doing as they should, and the universe was still spinning onwards, oblivious to its demise and subsequent rebirth. The Pandorica no longer existed- it had been the first thing he had checked- but the mystery behind his TARDIS exploding still had yet to be solved. Still, that could wait another day. Right now, he was intent on enjoying the moment.
A hand slipped into his. “Sorry I was late,” a familiar voice murmured. “I had to take a cab.”
A grin tugged at his lips, and he looked at the smiling blonde beside him. “Never late. Everyone else was just early.” He nodded toward the newlyweds, still blissfully wrapped in each other’s arms. “Let’s say we let them have a quiet, proper honeymoon before we come back for them.”
Rose smiled, and tugged him away. “Just like old times, eh?”
“The stuff of legend,” he agreed.
Above them and around them, the universe spun on, quiet for now. It could allow him this one peace before calling on him again, could allow for this small happiness. After all, it was high time that he was given something back.
From where she sat in the small back garden, the TARDIS hummed contentedly. Her Doctor and Bad Wolf were back where they belonged- together.
Characters: Eleven, Rose
Rating: PG-13
Summary: He wondered if it was irony, some sick cosmic joke, or fate that she was, once again, there to witness his final goodbye.
A/N: First part can be found here, but this works by itself as well. :) I quite enjoyed writing Eleven; maybe I'll do more of him in the future, once I give Nine a chance at the spotlight. Un-beta'ed like the last part, so please excuse any errors.
He wondered if it was irony, some sick cosmic joke, or fate that she was, once again, there to witness his final goodbye.
His wayward companions hadn’t returned yet; they were still running around getting shot at by the Dalek, blindly following his other (younger?) self and pretending that they would save him when the time came. Silly, really; didn’t they know that he couldn’t be saved, that his record was already so tainted that the universe felt it necessary to build him an inescapable prison so that he couldn’t cause any more damage?
And yet here she was, standing before him, his golden angel.
“You’re being noble again, aren’t you?” She asked, as he staggered down the steps (rolled, more like). “Sacrificing yourself for the greater good, not caring that there are actually people who love you and want you to live.”
He stared up at her, forcing his eyes to focus. “Better me than them.”
She sighed, but helped him up. “You’ve got to stop being so hard on yourself. I haven’t come all this way to let you fail now.”
“You still have a ways to go, yet,” He grunted, as she draped his arm over her shoulder. They set off down the hall at a stilted pace. “This isn’t the me you’re looking for.”
“Dunno,” she replied, smiling slightly. “But this is the you that needs me.”
He couldn’t really argue with that logic; he always needed her, always had. He just hadn’t realized that it was she he was looking for until he found her. “For a little while, at least. Then you’ll have to… well… it won’t be good for you to see the newest lot, would it? It would be like Sarah Jane all over again,” He replied. Reversed roles, of course, and River seemed like the kind to be jealous. He shuddered at the thought.
Rose’s smile grew. “Don’t worry; I won’t bully the new kids. Though I have met the Roman; he told me about you, actually. I had to hop along his time stream a bit until it finally coincided with yours again. You had him waiting a long time.” Her voice didn’t sound accusatory. She knew about waiting, after all. Only she had decided that she had had enough of it and came back.
“The boy and girl who waited,” he said. “It seemed fitting. They’re married, you know, or going to be if I can fix this. Figured what’s hers is his, decided that titles should be shared too.”
“So, what? Am I the Oncoming Storm as well then?” At his look, she elaborated, “That time on Gretal, with Jack, remember? Stumbled upon that flower ceremony, thought it was some local thing, ended up tied together and forced to kiss over that lava pit while dangling fifty feet in the air?”
He had thought she didn’t know the significance behind that. “Not official. Wasn’t ever consummated.” He felt himself blush a little at that, thoughts of Rose and naked and them together flashing through his mind. He would have been lying if he said he hadn’t thought about it; he had thought about it all the time (still did). But he had taken the coward’s way out, and look where it had landed them; trapped on other sides of a white wall, being left behind on a wind-swept, desolate beach. Not for the first time he wondered if the cowardice and his attempt to protect his hearts from the inevitable break was worth it.
She didn’t seem to be phased by his answer. “Had the piece of paper… well… what passed as paper to prove it. Assuming you still have my room, it’s under the mattress.”
“Course I still have your room,” he replied, wondering if he would even survive to be able to check if it was really there. “Why would I get rid of it?”
She didn’t seem to have an answer, and the sudden appearance of the Pandorica, large and looming, provided an out. “You don’t have to do this, you know,” She said, quietly.
“Yes, I do.”
Seconds passed into eternity as they both looked at the forbidding structure. He slipped his arm off her shoulders, took a few wobbling steps toward it, collapsed and hung on to the armrests as Rose said, suddenly, “It’s just, I’ve been so lost without you. Every day, I would think, ‘What would the Doctor do?’ and realize that I never asked, ‘What would I do?’ You became my entire life, Doctor, changed me, and I was scared of the person I would have turned out to be without you there to guide me.” She looked at him, and he realized that there was fear and determination in her eyes. “And now that I see you, I realize that I’m not lost anymore, and even though you aren’t the right you, I can’t… I can’t leave you, Doctor.”
He didn’t know what to say. Was scared to speak, actually. It was so, so easy to insist that she stay here, to allow himself this one selfishness, say everything he never could have, before… but he couldn’t. There were things that had to happen, and they hadn’t even occurred to her yet.
History is already unweaving; a voice that sounded suspiciously Northern muttered in his mind. It’s not like there’s a risk of reapers at a time like this. Keep her to yourself, just a little longer.
“Can you help me up?” He asked, instead, and Rose nodded and settled him in the chair.
With shaking hands he pulled out River’s manipulator. Rose’s eyes narrowed, but she didn’t question him. Wordlessly, she did as he asked, and when the last wire was connected, she said, “I can hear her, you know. The TARDIS. Heard her as soon as I landed in this time. I know what’s going on, Doctor, and I know what you’re going to do.” She hesitated, looking in his eyes; the amber flecks seemed to burn. “Are you sure you’re doing the right thing?”
He nodded; there really wasn’t anything else he could do. “Rose…” he hesitated.
“Yeah?”
“Tell me. What was it like, being lost for so long?”
“It felt like dying,” she murmured, and he nodded. It had felt like that to him, too.
Carefully, she cupped his face, and added, “But then I remembered something.”
“What?”
She gave him that smile, the one that made him feel like he could do anything if only she'd keep looking at him like that. "I discovered there is life after death."
He laughed, a little breathlessly, a little desperately. “Rose Tyler, you always know just what to say.” He paused; his energy was already running dangerously low, and he could feel the edges of fatigue creeping up on him. He had been running on adrenaline up to this point, high on seeing Rose one last time, high on a purpose. Now that Rose was almost gone and that purpose was about to be fulfilled, his body was shutting down. His free hand covered hers, and he leaned into her touch. “When you find him, remember something.”
Rose’s smile grew a bit watery, and her eyes sparkled with unshed tears. “Shouldn’t you not be telling me this, foreknowledge and all that?“
He smiled and told her anyway.
“Promise me?” He asked, knowing she never broke her promises. Perhaps it was cheating, a bit, but he didn’t care at this point. If his plan worked, one could hardly blame him for being selfish and making the universe a bit brighter, now could they? If it didn’t, it wouldn’t matter anyway, so no harm done. At least, not to anyone else. He wondered if it would hurt, not existing, or if he, too, would simply… disappear.
“I promise,” she whispered. Giving him one last smile and squeezing his hand, she took a step back, blinking back tears. “I’ll be seeing you, Doctor.”
“Not if I see you first,” he replied, forcing a smile. His vision was going black now.
He had already closed his eyes by the time she vanished. Only the ghost of pressure against his cheek and the faintest whiff of her shampoo remained to prove she had even existed.
////
After all was said and done, after the cake was cut and toast made and the children exhausted after dancing and sweets and being, well, children, the Doctor leaned against the doorway and watched Amy and Rory dance.
It had been interesting, being remade from memories, and he still tingled a bit from the experience. The TARDIS assured him all was as it was meant to be, that he and all his past lives were intact and doing as they should, and the universe was still spinning onwards, oblivious to its demise and subsequent rebirth. The Pandorica no longer existed- it had been the first thing he had checked- but the mystery behind his TARDIS exploding still had yet to be solved. Still, that could wait another day. Right now, he was intent on enjoying the moment.
A hand slipped into his. “Sorry I was late,” a familiar voice murmured. “I had to take a cab.”
A grin tugged at his lips, and he looked at the smiling blonde beside him. “Never late. Everyone else was just early.” He nodded toward the newlyweds, still blissfully wrapped in each other’s arms. “Let’s say we let them have a quiet, proper honeymoon before we come back for them.”
Rose smiled, and tugged him away. “Just like old times, eh?”
“The stuff of legend,” he agreed.
Above them and around them, the universe spun on, quiet for now. It could allow him this one peace before calling on him again, could allow for this small happiness. After all, it was high time that he was given something back.
From where she sat in the small back garden, the TARDIS hummed contentedly. Her Doctor and Bad Wolf were back where they belonged- together.