(Batman fic) Speak, chapter 6
Title: Speak
Author: larissafae
Fandom: Batman, Nolanverse.
Pairing: Past Jack Napier/Harleen Quinzel, future Jack/Rachel
Chapter rating: PG-13
Warnings: None.
Disclaimer: If they were mine, this wouldn't be a fanfic, now, would it?
Summary: A rehabilitated Jack Napier is brought into police custody after his wife of four years, Dr. Harleen Quinzel, falls to her death from their apartment. The only ones who seem to be on his side are Gordon and Rachel, who are haunted by the fact that 'rehabilitated' doesn't always mean 'cured'.
Previous chapters:
1
2
3
4
5
Stretched out on the floor with his bare feet crossed, the sleeves of his shirt rolled up past his elbows, Jack looked the most relaxed that Rachel had ever seen him. She stared down at him, the last half of her burrito in her hand, and he stared back up with a slightly raised eyebrow.
“Yeeeees?” he drawled.
She took a small nibble and pointed. “I can see your belly-button.”
The man raised his other eyebrow and idly scratched at his exposed skin, then dug his index finger around in his belly-button. “Huh. Proof that I had a mother.”
Rachel frowned as she sat beside him. “Doesn't that bother you?” she asked. “Not remembering?”
He was chewing and sucking on his lower lip as he shrugged. “I remember lots of things. I'm not sure which version is the real one, but at least I remember something.” Then he propped himself up on one elbow and opened his mouth as he leaned toward her burrito.
“Hey!” Rachel snapped. She pulled her hand out of his reach and gave him a gentle thwack upside his head. “This is my lunch, you know.”
He was rolling onto his hands and knees slowly, a grin spreading across his features as he kept his gaze on her food. “It's almost dinner.”
“Which ought to tell you something about how busy my day's been, if I'm just now getting around to lunch. So back off.” Rachel raised her arm above her head as he circled around her on his knees, sniffing the air like a bloodhound. He sniffed at her neck, his lips just barely touching her skin and Rachel shivered. That made him chuckle as he slid his hand up her arm, trying to gently force it down so he could take a bite of her food. “Jack!”
“I just want a nibble,” he murmured in her ear.
“Jack, your nibbles take at least two regular mouthfuls.” Rachel leaned to the side, away from his lips, but he followed her and pulled her back against his chest so she didn't tip over.
“I'll take a real nibble, I promise.” Rachel turned her head slightly to glare at him out of the corner of her eyes and he rubbed his cheek against hers with a purr. It was the first time, other than when she shaved him, that he'd willingly let her near his scars and Rachel's eyes widened. She'd expected them to be rough, and the texture was uneven to be sure, but the bumps were surprisingly smooth.
His purr intensified and Rachel dropped her head back against his shoulder. His scars were soft, much softer than his unblemished skin. She sighed and closed her eyes, tilting her head to the side as Jack rubbed his cheek along her neck, still keeping up his purr. He pulled her hands against her chest, and when he opened his mouth Rachel thought he was going to kiss her, but he tugged her burrito close and took a quick bite of it before letting her go, giggling around the small mouthful he'd gotten.
“See?” he giggled. “I kept my word!”
Rachel had to close her eyes to keep them from crossing and she fought the urge to rub her neck and cheek. It wasn't out of disgust, but he might take it that way. So she left her skin to tingle, and just smiled at him. He was making a face.
“Ugh, I forgot you get that vegetarian crap . . .”
She laughed and took her own bite. “Serves you right,” she told him as he mimed gagging. “Taking my lunch when I'm starving. For shame.”
“I don't feel shame.”
The glint in his eyes, the tone of his voice, the look on his face . . . Rachel hadn't even finished stiffening before Jack was rolling over, crawling to the couch to grab the DVD remote off of it. He looked over his shoulder as her heart pounded, and a smirk spread across his face.
“Are you looking at my ass?”
“Huh?” Rachel glanced down, then blushed. “No!”
“Yes, you were,” he insisted, wiggling said rump at her as he laughed.
He could be surprisingly feminine. Rachel rolled her eyes. “All right, fine, I might have been wondering where you get your pants tailored.”
Jack laughed again and returned to her side, laying down and resting his head in her lap. “You know I make my own clothes. Look, Rachel, it's all right. You can want me --- it's the schizophrenia. Us schizo's are just sooooo irresistible. We ooze charm and charisma.” He arched his neck, posing, batting his long eyelashes at her.
Rachel pinched his nose, which made him cross his eyes and shake his head. She laughed. “And your massive ego has nothing to do with that statement, right?”
He gave her a wounded look. “Me? Have an ego? You're losing it, Rachel.”
She grabbed his nose again and when he shook his head to free himself, Rachel's palm ended up along his cheek. Jack stopped squirming and grabbed her wrist when she tried to pull away. He held her steady as he turned his cheek into her palm, deliberately rubbing his scars against her skin. Rachel's breath hitched as his eyes rolled back in their sockets, a pained and wanton look on his features as she pressed her fingertips into his flesh, deliberately feeling him. Jack's lower lip trembled and he butted his cheek more forcefully into her touch with a slight groan.
It occurred to Rachel that maybe Harleen hadn't tried to overcome his aversion to his scars. She bit her own lip and left her burrito on the floor to raise her other hand to his cheeks, touching gently at first and waiting until he'd leaned into that contact as well before increasing the pressure of her fingers. Jack gasped silently at the heat of her hands, reaching his own arms up to curl around Rachel's shoulders and she shifted, laying his head gently on the floor and stretching out beside him. She leaned over him, heart pounding, and slid her thumb over the scar on his right cheek, the one that curled up. Her hair fell forward as she drew closer, and her breathing was loud in the space it created, Jack's startled and not unpleased gasp in her ear when her lips met the tip of the scar even louder. Rachel kissed around the scar, inside the crevice it created, up and over the bump of it, her lips never leaving his skin as she moved toward his mouth. She held his head still with her palm against his other cheek, his fingers digging into her back as she caressed the scar there, taking a moment to kiss the scar that split his lower lip and flick her tongue against it.
That prompted a strangled moan and he tried to keep her head there, to kiss her, but Rachel refused and Jack slid his hand down to her thigh, pressing the back of her knee and drawing her leg over his waist. He wanted her on top of him but she resisted again, slipping her tongue gently along the smaller scar, kissing gently until she'd gotten to the end of it. Her lips moved up and over his cheekbone, tracing the scars Bruce had given him, then she pulled back and brushed his bangs out of his eyes.
Jack stared up at her, mouth open as he drew in deep breaths and then he leaned up on one elbow, fingers curling in her hair as he brought his lips to hers. This time Rachel let him, a soft “Please . . .” escaping her lips as he eagerly kissed her and lowered her onto her back. Her body was reacting to his touch, reacting more strongly than it had in the last ten years, and Rachel wasn't able to keep from smiling as their tongues slipped into hesitant contact with one another. Her head rested on his forearm, his fingers grasping her shoulder while his other hand slid under her shirt. His trailed his nails along her stomach, grasping at her waist and humming appreciatively at the way it curved out into her hips.
Rachel was holding onto his shoulders with one arm, her other hand still tracing his scars lovingly. Jack pulled away and tilted his head back, mouth half-open and eyes half-shut, only the whites visible. After a moment he sank back down, holding Rachel tightly against him and panting into her hair as he kissed the top of her head. She curled in toward his chest, letting him take her hands and rain kisses along them, hearing him suppress a groan when his groin pressed against her leg. He pulled away from the contact and then took her face in his hands, kissing her firmly once, twice, three times before he rested his forehead against her collarbone. Rachel was amazed that he'd stopped and was obviously trying to pull himself together. She rubbed her hands up and down his back, against taut muscles, clenching his shirt in her hands as he swallowed sharply.
“That . . .” His voice broke and he coughed, a pleased moan coming from him when her questing hands found a particularly tense spot. “Rachel, I ---”
“Shhh,” she whispered. “It's okay, Jack. It's okay.”
He sat up and pulled her with him so they were sitting against the couch, fingers tracing his scars as he stared at her in wonderment. “No one's ever done anything like that before,” he said softly.
Rachel smiled and covered his wandering hand with her own. He grasped her fingers as they curled in toward his palm, then covered them with kisses. His eyes were still cloudy with desire, pupils dilated above dark circles under his eyes even as he looked unsure, hopeful, and above all, like she was something incredibly amazing to him. Rachel swallowed.
“Jack, you're . . . you're so . . . just . . .”
She couldn't find the words and his mouth curled up into a half-smile as he pressed her hand to his chest, rubbing his thumb against her knuckles.
“I know,” he murmured. “I know. I'm not good for you.” She started to open her mouth to protest, started shaking her head but he squeezed her hand and laughed a little. “Still, would it be all right if . . . once in a while . . . I . . .” He leaned toward her with a questioning look, hand brushing her cheek, and Rachel tilted her head into his gentle and chaste kiss.
He sat back after a moment and Rachel sighed softly as he moved his hand to the back of her neck. She leaned her head back into the touch and closed her eyes.
“That would be just fine, Jack,” she whispered. “Just fine.” His fingers traced her pleased smile and she leaned into his shoulder as he settled next to her, breathing in the warm and comforting scent of him.
~
Rachel shifted her weight from foot to foot as she nodded to the Chipotle worker that yes, she wanted her usual meal. Jack had woken her up with soft kisses this morning, and she'd been surprised to find herself laying on his couch. Surprised, and well pleased. She didn't remember falling asleep against his shoulder, but he'd simply laid her down and taken her shoes off, then covered her with a blanket. She wasn't sure if he'd sat up all night with her, because he hadn't answered when she'd asked, but the look on his face as he watched her had been so pleased that she hadn't pressed for an answer. She'd groggily asked for the time and almost smashed her forehead into his nose as she'd sat up after he'd told her. It was later than she usually woke up, and she had farther to drive to get to work to boot. She was lucky she'd been able to snag breakfast.
After a hurried and apologetic kiss for nearly breaking his nose, she pulled her shoes on and explained that she was late. Jack had just nodded, a bit of unease in the downward pull of his lips. She'd given him her best smile and another kiss, gasping out an invitation to dinner at her place as he'd responded more forcefully than she'd expected. She'd wriggled out of his grasp as he'd accepted, and he'd still been reaching for her when she slipped out the door.
And now here she was, full of pent-up desire, slightly ashamed of what she'd done last night because she knew she couldn't be with Jack, not like that, and then she was sitting at her desk and didn't remember getting there. Not paying for her meal, not the drive, not greeting her coworkers. All she could think about was Jack's lips, his arms around her, his body next to hers and those dark brown eyes that looked at her with such longing in them. She didn't know how she was going to get through the day.
“Rachel? Are you all right?”
She jerked around at Hideki's voice. “Ah! Oh! Hideki. I'm fine; what's wrong?”
The young lawyer frowned. “You've been staring out the window all day. Are you feeling well?”
No, no, she wasn't feeling well. She had a burning ache between her legs that she couldn't ignore but couldn't not ignore, because every time she shifted it sent sparks shooting through her body and brought Jack's name to her lips, and she did not need to cry his name out at work, of all places, but she couldn't get rid of her arousal, either, and ---
And Hideki was lifting her out of her chair, her purse in one hand. “All right, come on, you're going home.”
“What? No! Hideki, I'm fine.” Rachel jerked away and shook her head sharply. “I'm sorry, I didn't sleep well last night.”
“Well, you're going home to get more rest. You're a mess, Rachel. Do you even remember your morning trials?”
Morning trials? Rachel looked at the clock and realised it was past one. And truthfully, no, she didn't remember her morning trials.
“See what I mean?” Hideki shook a finger at her and took her by the elbow. “I'm taking Ms. Dawes home,” he told her secretary as he pushed her office door open. Rachel was still weakly trying to protest, cheeks burning with the thought that she'd spaced out on her entire morning because she'd been torn between having erotic fantasies about Jack and wondering why she'd let things get out of hand.
She let her friend put her in her car and buckle her up, then she heard him call a cab company and request a ride from her apartment back to the D.A.'s office as he started the vehicle. She leaned her forehead against the window and groaned.
“I'm sorry, Hideki.”
“Why? Everyone gets sick, Rachel. Some of us are just smart enough to not come to work when we do.”
“Did I make a mess of my trials?” she asked softly.
“You were a little out of it, but that's what the A.D.A.'s are there for.” He glanced over at her. “You're going to get some sleep, right?”
“Yeah,” she grunted. “Sleep.” Right after she came screaming Jack's name. Then she'd sleep. “Oh, God . . .”
“What?” Hideki asked, concerned.
“Jack's coming to dinner tonight.”
“Are you well enough?” he asked with disapproval.
“I'll be fine, I'm just . . . shit . . .”
Hideki was quiet for a while before he spoke again. “Did he kiss you?” Rachel jerked around in surprise and Hideki nodded. “Well, that's no surprise.” At her spluttering, he smiled slightly. “I haven't seen him in a while, now that he doesn't need legal representation, but from the way he used to look at you it was obvious he had the hots for you.” He shrugged. “I just thought maybe he'd finally made a move.”
Rachel swallowed past a dry throat as her heart constricted. “Hideki, you can not let that slip ---”
“Hey, I'm not the one mooning over you,” he cut her off. “Tell Jack to keep his eyes in their sockets if you don't want people to know he wants you.” He glanced at her and smiled to soften the words. “You're not his attorney, so what's wrong?”
Rachel hit her head against the window, exasperated. “He's an insane former criminal mastermind who tried to kill me and did kill my fiance?” she asked. “In addition to murdering at least thirty people and terrorizing Gotham?
Hideki pursed his lips as he nodded. “Yeah, that'd make things difficult, but only if you returned the feelings.” He glanced at her out of the corner of his eyes and smirked. “Oh. Then it is a problem.”
“You're fired,” Rachel muttered as she squeezed her eyes shut.
“I'm too adorable to fire. Everyone likes an Irish-Japanese boy.” His voice rose into a girlish lilt. “Boku was ka-wa-ii de-su!”
Rachel had to laugh at him as she blindly punched his shoulder, and his faint “Ow!” made her laugh again. “Shut up. There's . . . more to it, but . . . look, just shut up, will you?”
He was laughing at her still, pulling into her apartment's parking garage. He found her spot with ease and parked the car, turning to her with a twinkle in his eyes. “Need help up to your apartment?”
Rachel shook her head as they pushed their doors open. “I'll be fine. Thank you, Hideki.”
“No problem.” He came around to hand her the car keys and hesitated before giving her a brief hug. “Can't have the D.A. in the throes of passion on her office desk, after all.”
“Shut up!” Rachel yelled at him, and he laughed as he ducked her fist and sprinted toward the street.
“Have a good dinnerrrrrrr!” he called over his shoulder.
“You're a jerk, Hideki!” she screamed, but she was laughing as she stepped toward the elevator. The elevator ride was a tense one, but she'd let out some of her pent-up energy on Hideki, so her head was calming as she unlocked her apartment. She could trust him to keep quiet, Rachel mused as she flopped back on her bed without even taking her clothes off, fingers sliding down to her panties. It was her last coherent thought for a while.
~
Rachel rested her cheek against the shower wall as she gasped for breath. She laughed into it, the water hot as it pounded down on her, but she was still frustrated. Really, three times in one afternoon? She turned and slid down the wall, raising her face to the spray of water. She hadn't been indulging herself in her attraction to Jack at all, and it had been a long, long time since she'd found someone she wanted to be intimate with, so she supposed it made sense. Maybe. But if she didn't get out of this shower she would still be here when Jack arrived . . .
Rachel forced herself to wash the conditioner from her hair and give herself another scrub-down, then turn the shower off. Jack couldn't even get in to the apartment, so that fledgling fantasy could stop right there. She snorted to herself as she toweled off, then pulled sensible underthings on. Sensible, not sexy. Jack wasn't going to see them.
At least, not tonight, part of her spoke up cheerfully.
Rachel pressed her fingers to her temples and rubbed as she firmly told that part of her to take a hike. She had dinner to start, and had to figure out just where exactly her and Jack's relationship stood at the moment. She groaned as she moved about her kitchen. She couldn't date him. She couldn't sleep with him --- dear God, she couldn't do that. She wasn't on birth control and didn't have condoms, and she doubted that he'd have any, either.
Not that it would make a difference, because they weren't going to have sex. Her loins let out a disappointed whine, and she snarled at her ovaries as she put water on to boil. She was lonelier for a man's touch than she'd realised, and her slowly building infatuation with her friend just made things worse. She knew she could deny him --- and herself --- if it came to that, but damn it, she didn't want to. Rachel slammed a cupboard shut as her eyes stung with tears before she grabbed for her cell phone, hitting speed dial and when that steady, sensible voice answered, she found herself pouring out the entire story to him, desperate for some good advice as she continued to flutter around her kitchen.
Author: larissafae
Fandom: Batman, Nolanverse.
Pairing: Past Jack Napier/Harleen Quinzel, future Jack/Rachel
Chapter rating: PG-13
Warnings: None.
Disclaimer: If they were mine, this wouldn't be a fanfic, now, would it?
Summary: A rehabilitated Jack Napier is brought into police custody after his wife of four years, Dr. Harleen Quinzel, falls to her death from their apartment. The only ones who seem to be on his side are Gordon and Rachel, who are haunted by the fact that 'rehabilitated' doesn't always mean 'cured'.
Previous chapters:
1
2
3
4
5
Stretched out on the floor with his bare feet crossed, the sleeves of his shirt rolled up past his elbows, Jack looked the most relaxed that Rachel had ever seen him. She stared down at him, the last half of her burrito in her hand, and he stared back up with a slightly raised eyebrow.
“Yeeeees?” he drawled.
She took a small nibble and pointed. “I can see your belly-button.”
The man raised his other eyebrow and idly scratched at his exposed skin, then dug his index finger around in his belly-button. “Huh. Proof that I had a mother.”
Rachel frowned as she sat beside him. “Doesn't that bother you?” she asked. “Not remembering?”
He was chewing and sucking on his lower lip as he shrugged. “I remember lots of things. I'm not sure which version is the real one, but at least I remember something.” Then he propped himself up on one elbow and opened his mouth as he leaned toward her burrito.
“Hey!” Rachel snapped. She pulled her hand out of his reach and gave him a gentle thwack upside his head. “This is my lunch, you know.”
He was rolling onto his hands and knees slowly, a grin spreading across his features as he kept his gaze on her food. “It's almost dinner.”
“Which ought to tell you something about how busy my day's been, if I'm just now getting around to lunch. So back off.” Rachel raised her arm above her head as he circled around her on his knees, sniffing the air like a bloodhound. He sniffed at her neck, his lips just barely touching her skin and Rachel shivered. That made him chuckle as he slid his hand up her arm, trying to gently force it down so he could take a bite of her food. “Jack!”
“I just want a nibble,” he murmured in her ear.
“Jack, your nibbles take at least two regular mouthfuls.” Rachel leaned to the side, away from his lips, but he followed her and pulled her back against his chest so she didn't tip over.
“I'll take a real nibble, I promise.” Rachel turned her head slightly to glare at him out of the corner of her eyes and he rubbed his cheek against hers with a purr. It was the first time, other than when she shaved him, that he'd willingly let her near his scars and Rachel's eyes widened. She'd expected them to be rough, and the texture was uneven to be sure, but the bumps were surprisingly smooth.
His purr intensified and Rachel dropped her head back against his shoulder. His scars were soft, much softer than his unblemished skin. She sighed and closed her eyes, tilting her head to the side as Jack rubbed his cheek along her neck, still keeping up his purr. He pulled her hands against her chest, and when he opened his mouth Rachel thought he was going to kiss her, but he tugged her burrito close and took a quick bite of it before letting her go, giggling around the small mouthful he'd gotten.
“See?” he giggled. “I kept my word!”
Rachel had to close her eyes to keep them from crossing and she fought the urge to rub her neck and cheek. It wasn't out of disgust, but he might take it that way. So she left her skin to tingle, and just smiled at him. He was making a face.
“Ugh, I forgot you get that vegetarian crap . . .”
She laughed and took her own bite. “Serves you right,” she told him as he mimed gagging. “Taking my lunch when I'm starving. For shame.”
“I don't feel shame.”
The glint in his eyes, the tone of his voice, the look on his face . . . Rachel hadn't even finished stiffening before Jack was rolling over, crawling to the couch to grab the DVD remote off of it. He looked over his shoulder as her heart pounded, and a smirk spread across his face.
“Are you looking at my ass?”
“Huh?” Rachel glanced down, then blushed. “No!”
“Yes, you were,” he insisted, wiggling said rump at her as he laughed.
He could be surprisingly feminine. Rachel rolled her eyes. “All right, fine, I might have been wondering where you get your pants tailored.”
Jack laughed again and returned to her side, laying down and resting his head in her lap. “You know I make my own clothes. Look, Rachel, it's all right. You can want me --- it's the schizophrenia. Us schizo's are just sooooo irresistible. We ooze charm and charisma.” He arched his neck, posing, batting his long eyelashes at her.
Rachel pinched his nose, which made him cross his eyes and shake his head. She laughed. “And your massive ego has nothing to do with that statement, right?”
He gave her a wounded look. “Me? Have an ego? You're losing it, Rachel.”
She grabbed his nose again and when he shook his head to free himself, Rachel's palm ended up along his cheek. Jack stopped squirming and grabbed her wrist when she tried to pull away. He held her steady as he turned his cheek into her palm, deliberately rubbing his scars against her skin. Rachel's breath hitched as his eyes rolled back in their sockets, a pained and wanton look on his features as she pressed her fingertips into his flesh, deliberately feeling him. Jack's lower lip trembled and he butted his cheek more forcefully into her touch with a slight groan.
It occurred to Rachel that maybe Harleen hadn't tried to overcome his aversion to his scars. She bit her own lip and left her burrito on the floor to raise her other hand to his cheeks, touching gently at first and waiting until he'd leaned into that contact as well before increasing the pressure of her fingers. Jack gasped silently at the heat of her hands, reaching his own arms up to curl around Rachel's shoulders and she shifted, laying his head gently on the floor and stretching out beside him. She leaned over him, heart pounding, and slid her thumb over the scar on his right cheek, the one that curled up. Her hair fell forward as she drew closer, and her breathing was loud in the space it created, Jack's startled and not unpleased gasp in her ear when her lips met the tip of the scar even louder. Rachel kissed around the scar, inside the crevice it created, up and over the bump of it, her lips never leaving his skin as she moved toward his mouth. She held his head still with her palm against his other cheek, his fingers digging into her back as she caressed the scar there, taking a moment to kiss the scar that split his lower lip and flick her tongue against it.
That prompted a strangled moan and he tried to keep her head there, to kiss her, but Rachel refused and Jack slid his hand down to her thigh, pressing the back of her knee and drawing her leg over his waist. He wanted her on top of him but she resisted again, slipping her tongue gently along the smaller scar, kissing gently until she'd gotten to the end of it. Her lips moved up and over his cheekbone, tracing the scars Bruce had given him, then she pulled back and brushed his bangs out of his eyes.
Jack stared up at her, mouth open as he drew in deep breaths and then he leaned up on one elbow, fingers curling in her hair as he brought his lips to hers. This time Rachel let him, a soft “Please . . .” escaping her lips as he eagerly kissed her and lowered her onto her back. Her body was reacting to his touch, reacting more strongly than it had in the last ten years, and Rachel wasn't able to keep from smiling as their tongues slipped into hesitant contact with one another. Her head rested on his forearm, his fingers grasping her shoulder while his other hand slid under her shirt. His trailed his nails along her stomach, grasping at her waist and humming appreciatively at the way it curved out into her hips.
Rachel was holding onto his shoulders with one arm, her other hand still tracing his scars lovingly. Jack pulled away and tilted his head back, mouth half-open and eyes half-shut, only the whites visible. After a moment he sank back down, holding Rachel tightly against him and panting into her hair as he kissed the top of her head. She curled in toward his chest, letting him take her hands and rain kisses along them, hearing him suppress a groan when his groin pressed against her leg. He pulled away from the contact and then took her face in his hands, kissing her firmly once, twice, three times before he rested his forehead against her collarbone. Rachel was amazed that he'd stopped and was obviously trying to pull himself together. She rubbed her hands up and down his back, against taut muscles, clenching his shirt in her hands as he swallowed sharply.
“That . . .” His voice broke and he coughed, a pleased moan coming from him when her questing hands found a particularly tense spot. “Rachel, I ---”
“Shhh,” she whispered. “It's okay, Jack. It's okay.”
He sat up and pulled her with him so they were sitting against the couch, fingers tracing his scars as he stared at her in wonderment. “No one's ever done anything like that before,” he said softly.
Rachel smiled and covered his wandering hand with her own. He grasped her fingers as they curled in toward his palm, then covered them with kisses. His eyes were still cloudy with desire, pupils dilated above dark circles under his eyes even as he looked unsure, hopeful, and above all, like she was something incredibly amazing to him. Rachel swallowed.
“Jack, you're . . . you're so . . . just . . .”
She couldn't find the words and his mouth curled up into a half-smile as he pressed her hand to his chest, rubbing his thumb against her knuckles.
“I know,” he murmured. “I know. I'm not good for you.” She started to open her mouth to protest, started shaking her head but he squeezed her hand and laughed a little. “Still, would it be all right if . . . once in a while . . . I . . .” He leaned toward her with a questioning look, hand brushing her cheek, and Rachel tilted her head into his gentle and chaste kiss.
He sat back after a moment and Rachel sighed softly as he moved his hand to the back of her neck. She leaned her head back into the touch and closed her eyes.
“That would be just fine, Jack,” she whispered. “Just fine.” His fingers traced her pleased smile and she leaned into his shoulder as he settled next to her, breathing in the warm and comforting scent of him.
~
Rachel shifted her weight from foot to foot as she nodded to the Chipotle worker that yes, she wanted her usual meal. Jack had woken her up with soft kisses this morning, and she'd been surprised to find herself laying on his couch. Surprised, and well pleased. She didn't remember falling asleep against his shoulder, but he'd simply laid her down and taken her shoes off, then covered her with a blanket. She wasn't sure if he'd sat up all night with her, because he hadn't answered when she'd asked, but the look on his face as he watched her had been so pleased that she hadn't pressed for an answer. She'd groggily asked for the time and almost smashed her forehead into his nose as she'd sat up after he'd told her. It was later than she usually woke up, and she had farther to drive to get to work to boot. She was lucky she'd been able to snag breakfast.
After a hurried and apologetic kiss for nearly breaking his nose, she pulled her shoes on and explained that she was late. Jack had just nodded, a bit of unease in the downward pull of his lips. She'd given him her best smile and another kiss, gasping out an invitation to dinner at her place as he'd responded more forcefully than she'd expected. She'd wriggled out of his grasp as he'd accepted, and he'd still been reaching for her when she slipped out the door.
And now here she was, full of pent-up desire, slightly ashamed of what she'd done last night because she knew she couldn't be with Jack, not like that, and then she was sitting at her desk and didn't remember getting there. Not paying for her meal, not the drive, not greeting her coworkers. All she could think about was Jack's lips, his arms around her, his body next to hers and those dark brown eyes that looked at her with such longing in them. She didn't know how she was going to get through the day.
“Rachel? Are you all right?”
She jerked around at Hideki's voice. “Ah! Oh! Hideki. I'm fine; what's wrong?”
The young lawyer frowned. “You've been staring out the window all day. Are you feeling well?”
No, no, she wasn't feeling well. She had a burning ache between her legs that she couldn't ignore but couldn't not ignore, because every time she shifted it sent sparks shooting through her body and brought Jack's name to her lips, and she did not need to cry his name out at work, of all places, but she couldn't get rid of her arousal, either, and ---
And Hideki was lifting her out of her chair, her purse in one hand. “All right, come on, you're going home.”
“What? No! Hideki, I'm fine.” Rachel jerked away and shook her head sharply. “I'm sorry, I didn't sleep well last night.”
“Well, you're going home to get more rest. You're a mess, Rachel. Do you even remember your morning trials?”
Morning trials? Rachel looked at the clock and realised it was past one. And truthfully, no, she didn't remember her morning trials.
“See what I mean?” Hideki shook a finger at her and took her by the elbow. “I'm taking Ms. Dawes home,” he told her secretary as he pushed her office door open. Rachel was still weakly trying to protest, cheeks burning with the thought that she'd spaced out on her entire morning because she'd been torn between having erotic fantasies about Jack and wondering why she'd let things get out of hand.
She let her friend put her in her car and buckle her up, then she heard him call a cab company and request a ride from her apartment back to the D.A.'s office as he started the vehicle. She leaned her forehead against the window and groaned.
“I'm sorry, Hideki.”
“Why? Everyone gets sick, Rachel. Some of us are just smart enough to not come to work when we do.”
“Did I make a mess of my trials?” she asked softly.
“You were a little out of it, but that's what the A.D.A.'s are there for.” He glanced over at her. “You're going to get some sleep, right?”
“Yeah,” she grunted. “Sleep.” Right after she came screaming Jack's name. Then she'd sleep. “Oh, God . . .”
“What?” Hideki asked, concerned.
“Jack's coming to dinner tonight.”
“Are you well enough?” he asked with disapproval.
“I'll be fine, I'm just . . . shit . . .”
Hideki was quiet for a while before he spoke again. “Did he kiss you?” Rachel jerked around in surprise and Hideki nodded. “Well, that's no surprise.” At her spluttering, he smiled slightly. “I haven't seen him in a while, now that he doesn't need legal representation, but from the way he used to look at you it was obvious he had the hots for you.” He shrugged. “I just thought maybe he'd finally made a move.”
Rachel swallowed past a dry throat as her heart constricted. “Hideki, you can not let that slip ---”
“Hey, I'm not the one mooning over you,” he cut her off. “Tell Jack to keep his eyes in their sockets if you don't want people to know he wants you.” He glanced at her and smiled to soften the words. “You're not his attorney, so what's wrong?”
Rachel hit her head against the window, exasperated. “He's an insane former criminal mastermind who tried to kill me and did kill my fiance?” she asked. “In addition to murdering at least thirty people and terrorizing Gotham?
Hideki pursed his lips as he nodded. “Yeah, that'd make things difficult, but only if you returned the feelings.” He glanced at her out of the corner of his eyes and smirked. “Oh. Then it is a problem.”
“You're fired,” Rachel muttered as she squeezed her eyes shut.
“I'm too adorable to fire. Everyone likes an Irish-Japanese boy.” His voice rose into a girlish lilt. “Boku was ka-wa-ii de-su!”
Rachel had to laugh at him as she blindly punched his shoulder, and his faint “Ow!” made her laugh again. “Shut up. There's . . . more to it, but . . . look, just shut up, will you?”
He was laughing at her still, pulling into her apartment's parking garage. He found her spot with ease and parked the car, turning to her with a twinkle in his eyes. “Need help up to your apartment?”
Rachel shook her head as they pushed their doors open. “I'll be fine. Thank you, Hideki.”
“No problem.” He came around to hand her the car keys and hesitated before giving her a brief hug. “Can't have the D.A. in the throes of passion on her office desk, after all.”
“Shut up!” Rachel yelled at him, and he laughed as he ducked her fist and sprinted toward the street.
“Have a good dinnerrrrrrr!” he called over his shoulder.
“You're a jerk, Hideki!” she screamed, but she was laughing as she stepped toward the elevator. The elevator ride was a tense one, but she'd let out some of her pent-up energy on Hideki, so her head was calming as she unlocked her apartment. She could trust him to keep quiet, Rachel mused as she flopped back on her bed without even taking her clothes off, fingers sliding down to her panties. It was her last coherent thought for a while.
~
Rachel rested her cheek against the shower wall as she gasped for breath. She laughed into it, the water hot as it pounded down on her, but she was still frustrated. Really, three times in one afternoon? She turned and slid down the wall, raising her face to the spray of water. She hadn't been indulging herself in her attraction to Jack at all, and it had been a long, long time since she'd found someone she wanted to be intimate with, so she supposed it made sense. Maybe. But if she didn't get out of this shower she would still be here when Jack arrived . . .
Rachel forced herself to wash the conditioner from her hair and give herself another scrub-down, then turn the shower off. Jack couldn't even get in to the apartment, so that fledgling fantasy could stop right there. She snorted to herself as she toweled off, then pulled sensible underthings on. Sensible, not sexy. Jack wasn't going to see them.
At least, not tonight, part of her spoke up cheerfully.
Rachel pressed her fingers to her temples and rubbed as she firmly told that part of her to take a hike. She had dinner to start, and had to figure out just where exactly her and Jack's relationship stood at the moment. She groaned as she moved about her kitchen. She couldn't date him. She couldn't sleep with him --- dear God, she couldn't do that. She wasn't on birth control and didn't have condoms, and she doubted that he'd have any, either.
Not that it would make a difference, because they weren't going to have sex. Her loins let out a disappointed whine, and she snarled at her ovaries as she put water on to boil. She was lonelier for a man's touch than she'd realised, and her slowly building infatuation with her friend just made things worse. She knew she could deny him --- and herself --- if it came to that, but damn it, she didn't want to. Rachel slammed a cupboard shut as her eyes stung with tears before she grabbed for her cell phone, hitting speed dial and when that steady, sensible voice answered, she found herself pouring out the entire story to him, desperate for some good advice as she continued to flutter around her kitchen.