"I'm flattered... I really am... but I'm just not interested in you as anything but a friend." Don't say it's because you've met someone else, or are getting reattached... because that will lead them to believe that if that CHANGES, you'd be interested. Just leave it simple.
He hasn't said anything about that is the problem. Just keeps calling. I like talking to him, but that's really it. Unless he actually brings it up, how do you address that? If he asks me out to hang, then saying okay, but just as friends? is awkward.
"I started feeling a bit odd when I realized you might be getting the wrong impression of us. If I'm out of line, just let me know--and I apologize. I am flattered, but I don't see us becoming any more than just friends." <-- variation
at least he's not leaving messages.n3xus6November 13 2006, 16:48:31 UTC
you give him one chance.
liking you is hardly a flaw, right?
if he gets clingly, or doesn't understand that you want there to be a safe, friendly distance between your two lives, then its time to pull the plug.
as a geek from another dimension, i can say first hand that a lot of guys who hit cons of any sort are social retards. i'm not sure if we collected comic books or gamed because we were social retards, or whether the hobbies made retards.
i'm sure this guy, provided he isn't psycho, would be happy to just have you as a friend.
Re: at least he's not leaving messages.lamoonNovember 13 2006, 16:52:06 UTC
Hmmm...more words to ponder.
Okay...I'll go out with him once, as friends, and if it seems like he wants more, I'll tell him nicely that I'm really only interested in being friends. Good compromise?
Re: at least he's not leaving messages.n3xus6November 14 2006, 01:31:44 UTC
i think so.
you know a lot of my friends are women who are out of my league. I'm glad they gave me a chance to be a friend.
last thing i'll say, i've intimated it already numberous times..i can't vouch for this guy, so make sure you pick neutral things to do, and if he seems weird, remeber that i have a cycle now. i'd be happy to swoop in and be the friend that "might" meet up with you guys.
Geeks are generally dense about such things. Aqeldroma's advice is great, and can be used at any point in the relationship. The earlier you set the ground rules, the kinder to everyone it is in the long run.
He's not really a geek. I think he's kind of like I am in that regard. Enjoys a few geek things, isn't really much into any of it.
He's not out of it socially, seems pretty non-geekish, relatively confident and not at all awkward with people. Just I usually make sure I'm a little less friendly with people who act like they might be interested when I'm not. As I was exhausted and drunk at a very loud party, I didn't catch it.
He's alright, but probably hopeful. I just hate hurting people's feelings. We'll probably meet out for lunch or something this week and insisting on going dutch will probably be enough, but we'll see.
Off to gym. Starting my early triatholon training. Gotta find someone to work with me on swim form. I'm sure there's a trainer at the gym for that.
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Ugh.
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This is why I prefer the bitch approach to socializing.
I should make that an official quote...
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liking you is hardly a flaw, right?
if he gets clingly, or doesn't understand that you want there to be a safe, friendly distance between your two lives, then its time to pull the plug.
as a geek from another dimension, i can say first hand that a lot of guys who hit cons of any sort are social retards. i'm not sure if we collected comic books or gamed because we were social retards, or whether the hobbies made retards.
i'm sure this guy, provided he isn't psycho, would be happy to just have you as a friend.
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Okay...I'll go out with him once, as friends, and if it seems like he wants more, I'll tell him nicely that I'm really only interested in being friends. Good compromise?
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you know a lot of my friends are women who are out of my league. I'm glad they gave me a chance to be a friend.
last thing i'll say, i've intimated it already numberous times..i can't vouch for this guy, so make sure you pick neutral things to do, and if he seems weird, remeber that i have a cycle now. i'd be happy to swoop in and be the friend that "might" meet up with you guys.
what couldn't my normal personality derail?
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what couldn't my normal personality derail?
A...derailed train?
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He's not out of it socially, seems pretty non-geekish, relatively confident and not at all awkward with people. Just I usually make sure I'm a little less friendly with people who act like they might be interested when I'm not. As I was exhausted and drunk at a very loud party, I didn't catch it.
He's alright, but probably hopeful. I just hate hurting people's feelings. We'll probably meet out for lunch or something this week and insisting on going dutch will probably be enough, but we'll see.
Off to gym. Starting my early triatholon training. Gotta find someone to work with me on swim form. I'm sure there's a trainer at the gym for that.
Then work. Oh, joy, work.
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