Working Through Pt 2/90
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Chapter 2
November 2011
Adam made his way towards Kris’s hospital room with the small pink bundle huddled closely to his chest. He had ignored his mother’s pleas and was finally taking Sophia to meet her Daddy. Three horrible days had passed since her birth, and Kris had still not woken up or shown any signs of improving, and while the doctors around them saw no reason to worry Adam had been losing hope fast. Now with Sophia being allowed home he had finally brought her to Kris. He hadn’t wanted it to happen this way. He wanted Kris awake so he could see his eyes light up at the first sight of their daughter just like his own had three days earlier.
Kris lay motionlessly in bed like he had every other time Adam entered the room. Leila, Adam’s Mom sat in her usual seat at the side of his bed her with hand holding Kris’s gently while she read from her favorite book of the moment.
“You know I don’t agree to this Adam,” Leila said keeping her eyes focused on the book in front of her. “Kris wouldn’t either. He wouldn’t want her seeing him like this. You’re been very sneaky doing it while everyone else is away.” Adam ignored his mothers rant, and took the seat opposite her on the other side of Kris’s bed.
“Hey baby look what I brought.” He could hear his mothers disapproving sigh as he leaned over the bed to talk to his husband. “Apparently you wouldn’t agree to this, but then when have I ever done as I was told.” Adam tried his best to keep his voice light and calm like the doctors had told him, but every time his idle chitchat was met with silence all he wanted to do was break down and cry. “Well here she is. Sophia Lambert-Allen. Beautiful isn’t she baby? Sophia this is your Daddy.”
“Adam.”
“Mom please.” Adam looked up into his mothers eyes. “Please.”
Leila could only nod her head as she stood and made her way towards the door. “I’ll go see if Neil’s ready to take you home.” Adam waited until his mother was out the door before looking back down at his husband. “I love her baby I do, but I swear that woman was sent here to drive me crazy. Anyway.” Adam stood leaning over Kris’s still body with Sophia held close to him. “Sorry I haven’t brought her sooner, but I wanted you awake for this. She’s going home today,” Adam explained as he placed Sophia onto Kris’s bare chest. Sophia wiggled around a little until she was comfortable enough. Adam placed both of Kris’s hands over the baby’s tiny body while his own hands rested on top of Kris’s. “Now that’s better.” Adam swallowed the lump forming in his throat as he watched his baby’s eyes shut. “See? All she wanted was her Daddy.” Adam sat back down on the chair leaning his body over the bed to rest his chin on Kris’s shoulder. “You should really see her baby, she’s gorgeous. I didn’t think she could be this beautiful, this perfect,” Adam sighed tiredly. “They’re making me go home, your Mom and the others. They think I need to go home. I told them I was fine, but will they listen? If Sophia has to go I really should make sure she has everything, but I’ll be back tonight once she’s asleep. I’ll be back I promise.”
“Adam?” Adam jumped at the sound of his name being called. “Adam, Neil’s ready.” Adam looked up to see his father standing at the door smiling at him. It had been the same fake smile the other man had been wearing for days now. Every time Adam looked at him he was wearing it.
“Just one minute Dad.” Adam could now feel his stomach sinking. He had been dreading this for hours now. He knew he had to leave, but he just wanted Kris to be awake for it. He didn’t want to get outside the hospital and have Kris open his eyes. Adam needed to be the first person Kris saw when he finally woke up. He wanted the younger man to know that he was there no matter what. “You’re going to have to let me take this one home now baby.” He squeezed both Kris’s hands with his own. “I don’t want to but I don’t think they would let us keep her here.” Picking the sleeping baby up off of his husband’s chest Adam felt a rush of guilt running through his body. When Sophia’s body began to wiggle against his own, and her cries began to fill the room he felt his own tears forming. “I don’t want to take her away from you, but I have to. You’re not waking up. If you would just open your damn eyes we could all go home together, and I wouldn’t have to sit in this horrible room one more minute.” As Sophia’s cries grew louder Adam’s grew stronger. “Can you hear that Kris? That’s your baby crying. She’s crying and you’re just laying there doing nothing about it. Why won’t you do anything about it?” Adam felt a pair of hands gripping his shoulders tightly as his body shook in sobs.
“Shh Adam shh. You’re scaring her.” Now he had more guilt rushed through him as Neil took the baby screaming baby from his arms.
“I...I can’t do this Neil I can’t leave him.” Adam looked over at Kris’s still body and began sobbing again. “Why is he just laying there? Why isn’t he waking up? Does he not care or something. Is that what it is. He just doesn’t give a damn about me?”
“Adam please don’t do this to yourself.” Neil’s hands were now free of Sophia as he placed both his hands back onto Adam’s shoulders. He stood behind him with his chin resting on his older brother’s shoulder. “Do you think he wants to hear you like this? Look at him, he’s sick Adam. He needs rest, and you screaming at him won’t make him wake up any quicker, and when he does wake up do you think seeing you like this is going to help him get better?” Neil turned Adam to face him. “Now the cars ready, and Dad’s putting Sophia in her seat, so I’m going to let you say sorry to your husband for shouting, and then I want you out front in five, Okay?” Neil leaned in to kiss Adam’s forehead before pulling back. “Okay?”
“Okay.” Adam turned back to Kris feeling guilty once again. “Did you just hear my baby brother actually making sense?” Adam laughed. “You know the world has gone crazy when he’s the one making sense,” Adam sighed running his hand through his hair. “But I guess he’s right, I shouldn’t be shouting at you. I should wait until you’re awake to do it.” Another laugh escaped Adam’s mouth. “Then I’m so kicking your ass, and you know I can do it.” Adam let the silence fill the room as he closed his eyes. His head had been throbbing for days now and nothing he had done could take it away. The only thing that had ever worked had always been Kris massaging it. It had always beaten any kind of pain killer in Adam’s eyes. “I guess it’s time then. I should get Sophia home. Maybe shower, I don’t think I’ve done that in a few days. I know I’ve been in these clothes since I came.” Adam looked down at himself with disgust. “You wouldn’t want me if you saw me now. I really should clean myself up. There’s some cute looking doctors running around, and I wouldn’t want any of them catching your eye.” Adam let out another soft laugh. “Can you tell I’m rambling? I don’t want to leave you so I’m talking complete crap. Hey you remember our second date?” Adam rested his head on Kris’s chest as he looked up at his face. “You were wearing one of the many plaid shirts you own, and I was looking pretty good in my leather jeans. After it was over we sat in your car for over an hour just trying to say goodbye. I was so desperate not to leave you that I think I actually talked about the weather. Then you just looked at me and said I won’t think you’re some sort of slut if you ask me to stay. So I said stay and you haven’t left yet.” Adam brushed his dry lips over Kris’s chest as he made his way up. “Stay. There I’m saying it again Stay Kris.”
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It all felt oddly comforting to be home again even if Kris wasn’t with him. He could feel him all around. Smell him on everything he touched, and even though Kris wasn’t there Adam felt comfort.
“Right so Sophia’s clothes are all put away, and I've made your bed and cleared the kitchen out.” Neil stood in front of Adam with Sophia in his arms.
“She suits you,” Adam remarked with a smirk causing Neil to push Sophia into Adam’s arms.
“Oh hell no, she’s the only kid I plan to be holding any time soon.” Adam adjusted Sophia in his arms as he walked off giggling to himself. He could always trust Neil to put a smile on his face even when his world was falling apart.
“Your uncle Neil is a very silly man baby,” Adam told Sophia as he walked through the house with her. “But then with a good looking big brother like me he had to be the funny one.” Adam Stopped inside his bedroom, and paused to look at the bed he and Kris shared. “I'm sorry your daddy isn’t here baby, but I guess he’s just a little tired right now. When he wakes up he's going to cover you in kisses, and not let you go until you're eighteen.” Adam placed Sophia on the middle of the bed then lay himself down beside her. “He's going to take you to the park and play lots of games with you, and when you're sad your Daddy is going to wrap you up in his arms and hold you until you're happy again, because that’s what he does. That's what he does when I'm sad, and he's going to do it with you too.” Sophia's tiny hand came up to Adam's face causing him to pause and kiss it gentle. “And when those boys start coming around your Daddy's going to be there with his baseball bat ready for them. And you're going to be running to me complaining about him and how mean he is, but deep down you'll know it's because he loves you, and is never going to let anyone hurt you. He's so good baby, because everything he does is for the people he loves, and he's going to love you the most. You're going to be the one that holds his heart the most, and I’m the lucky one that gets to be second,” Adam sighed looking up at the ceiling. “He just has to open his eyes baby.”
“Adam It’s Mom.” Neil came running in with the phone in his hand.
“Mom?” Adam held the phone to his ear. “Mommy?” he choked out.
“Hey baby.” Came the weak voice of his husband.
Part 3
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