Congratulations on reaching 70k! *dances around happily for you*. Some really nice dialogue and characterisation in this Teaser :) A couple of words felt awkward etc, but I'll hold off on critiquing your teaser until you're done writing the story.
Btw, just caught your comment on my journal. My thoughts on the album, or just USoE? I liked the album, overall, but wanted WAY more guitar. UsoE = lovely, but too reminiscent of Queen for me to truly adore.
Haha, thanks. The longest novel I've ever written was around 73k, so I'm getting pretty dorky/giddy.
Ah, THE RESISTANCE...I actually really loved it (I was talking about the album as a whole...I s'pose all the hyperness of the release really put me out of my mind. Sorry 'bout that.) in that it's a totally new direction for them, and that from here they can only go off in every other direction and Muse-ify it. But I can completely see where you're coming from on the lack of guitars. I, however, find it hard to wish they'd used more of them when their style is so new and inventive that it'd almost be a completely different style with more OoS-like jam-sessions, if that makes any sense? I don't know how to describe it.
And YES to the Queen thing. While, obviously, hearing Muse's version of it boggles my mind, I think a little more originality could have been thrown in.
It's very good! :D The tension's pretty obvious and it's clear they have a history which is awesome. There are a few places where it's a touch awk but that can be easily fixed when you finish everything.
Thank you! Some of the awkwardness was intentional, but it was a really experimental realm of style for me, so I can see where I stressed it a bit in the wrong places. I can't thank you enough for the feedback, though. ;)
You have some very original descriptions in here. I found myself pausing over each one and taking a moment to enjoy the refreshing change from "she smiled."
I'm bad at descriptions, but I do so love to see them done well in other people's writing.
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Btw, just caught your comment on my journal. My thoughts on the album, or just USoE? I liked the album, overall, but wanted WAY more guitar. UsoE = lovely, but too reminiscent of Queen for me to truly adore.
You?!
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Ah, THE RESISTANCE...I actually really loved it (I was talking about the album as a whole...I s'pose all the hyperness of the release really put me out of my mind. Sorry 'bout that.) in that it's a totally new direction for them, and that from here they can only go off in every other direction and Muse-ify it. But I can completely see where you're coming from on the lack of guitars. I, however, find it hard to wish they'd used more of them when their style is so new and inventive that it'd almost be a completely different style with more OoS-like jam-sessions, if that makes any sense? I don't know how to describe it.
And YES to the Queen thing. While, obviously, hearing Muse's version of it boggles my mind, I think a little more originality could have been thrown in.
...Phew.
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It's very good! :D The tension's pretty obvious and it's clear they have a history which is awesome. There are a few places where it's a touch awk but that can be easily fixed when you finish everything.
Congratulations! :D
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I'm bad at descriptions, but I do so love to see them done well in other people's writing.
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