The Reynolds-Bradshaw Conection - Chapter 7: Temptation Returns
The Reynolds/Bradshaw Connection
FINALLY - the real story I have planned for all of you. Think of everything up to now as the introduction, the preface, if you will. Now we start the twists and turns that only a handful of people know are coming.
Thanks again to Keaira. This comment’s really getting repetitive, and I’m running out of things to say…so I’ll just say thank you. This story’s just as much yours as it is mine at this point.
Oh, and here’s a question that music fans can answer. I’m thinking about sharing or publishing the playlist for this fic on Rhapsody’s Playlist Central. I’ll only do this if anyone would actually be interested in listening to it, so let me know if you’re a Rhapsody subscriber who wants to listen to the soundtrack for nothing other than your subscription fees.
There’s a line in here adapted from a good movie starring Ben Stiller, find it and tell me what movie it’s from and who said it (it’s a famous actor) and I’ll let you pick out a song for an upcoming chapter.
Opening lyrics come from Pat Benatar’s We Belong; end lyrics belong to U2’s Vertigo. Other lyrics used in the chapter are noted by author and song title. All lyrics used are not meant to violate copyright laws at all and are not used for profit in any way.
Chapter 7: Temptation Returns
---------------------
Don't want to leave you really
I've invested too much time
To give you up that easy
To the doubts that complicate your mind
---------------------
Amy’s POV
I must have laid on the sofa for only a couple minutes before the full extent of the loss of Lucy hit me. I had given up everything in my life for her, and losing her for good therefore would be losing everything else. Still, I faced a couple obstacles preventing me from reconciling with Lucy, at least right now. Lucy had lied to me; she had lied to me with a straight face, and I had accepted it as the truth. How then could I legitimately believe an apology from her? How could I tell that she was sincere and not merely putting on the same façade she wore lying to me all those times before?
Another obstacle I faced was deciding whether or not I actually wanted to reconcile. Lucy had taken everything I had given her and thrown it all away. She had betrayed me, and it hurt, it stung worse than any physical pain I had ever experienced. I just didn’t know anymore, I didn’t know if she loved me. Was it even an option to reconcile with a person that I loved if they didn’t reciprocate those feelings?
I forced myself to sit upright on the sofa, wiping away tears with the back of my hand. The only place in the room I could bear to look was at the floor, and I just stared there for some time, not knowing what should be my next move. Suddenly, I felt someone near me and I saw a hand appear under my head bearing a tissue.
“Thanks Scud,” I said, turning my head to look at him.
“You okay, Amy?” he asked, sounding genuinely concerned.
“Yeah I’m…no, Scud, I’m not really…” I replied, hanging my head once again.
“Amy, you know, she loves you, probably more than she loves herself. You mean the world to her,” I raised my head and looked at him with a skeptical look. “Really, Amy, you do.”
“You’re only saying that ‘cause you’re like her brother. If she did, she wouldn’t have lied to me.”
“She lied to you because she loves you, and didn’t want you to get hurt. I told her it was a bad idea, but she made the wrong decision. But, Amy, her heart was in the right place.”
“How do you know that, Scud? Lucy lies without a tell, she’s probably a better liar than I am.”
“Amy, trust me, when you’ve been around Lucy as long as I have, you figure out her tells. She does have some, but you have to look closely.”
“Well, I mean sometimes she’d hesitate, and I didn’t always believe her then…but I did in the end.”
“And why do you think that is?” he asked, looking into my eyes.
“I don’t know, why?”
“Because you wanted to. And that’s good, because at least you’re open.”
“Open to what?” I asked, not knowing where he was going with this.
“Well, you’re open to love, unlike Lucy sometimes. See, Amy, with Lucy, love is harder than crime, or war, or lying. You’re different, loving comes easier to you than to Lucy. She’ll be back,” he placed a hand on my back and patted me gently.
“Scud…” I asked.
“Yeah?”
“Scud, what would Lucy do if she were in my situation?”
“She’d try to blow up Australia,” he said straight-faced. I looked at him and he wasn’t kidding, but I did remember Lucy saying that whenever she was dumped she used to try that.
“Scud, you know I’d never do that,” I let out a bit of a laugh, “so what would Lucy do after that?”
“Well, I guess she’d take my advice.”
“And what would that be?”
“Well, first we find her…she’s gotta be at a hotel, or an inn, right? So we find out where she is, sneak in, infiltrate the hotel’s database to find out her room number, crack the code to gain access to the room and then…”
I could see why Lucy had trouble with love, Scud’s advice was a bit too complicated than it had to be. “And then what, Scud?” I humored him.
“And then you go into the hotel room and tell you love her.”
I looked at him with a cynical look. “Scud…you call that a plan?”
“Yeah, what do you think would be better?”
“Why don’t I just wait for tonight and call her in the morning?” I asked.
“Well, that’d work too,” he grinned, “but it isn’t nearly as much fun.”
“Alright Scud, I’m going up to bed. When are you going back to the states to be back with Janet?”
“When I’m sure you and Lucy won’t kill each other. Goodnight,” he called as I rose off of the sofa and started to climb the stairs.
“Good night, Scud…and Scud,” he looked at me, “thanks for making me feel better.”
“Hey, no thanks needed. That’s my job.”
---------------------
Lucy’s POV
Driving in my car, I was headed in the direction of the nicest hotel close to our house. All through the car ride, I was second-guessing myself, wondering how I could have possibly screwed up as badly as I did. Amy meant the world to me and I had thrown that all away. Hopefully she could forgive me, but even I had to admit that I probably wasn’t worthy of that forgiveness.
After about fifteen minutes of driving along the left hand side of the road (which had taken some getting used to when we first moved to Europe, as had driving on the right side of the car) only seeing the occasional passing car, a giant hotel complex greeted me with a tall white sign displaying the name of this particular five-star hotel, El Hotel Nacional Español de Barcelona. Pulling into the parking lot, I parked my car and walked into the hotel’s lobby, rolling my suitcase along with me. The receptionist was a good-looking woman, who looked young enough to be a college student. She had light brown hair tied back behind her head in a ponytail and was wearing the hotel’s uniform, a white button down shirt, with black pants and a red patterned vest. The hotel catered to ambassadors, tourists and foreigners in general, so the common language in the hotel was English.
“Can I help you?” she asked.
I looked down at her nametag. Just as luck would have it, she shared the same name as the person I was trying to forget about at the current time, “Yes, Amy. Are there any vacant rooms?”
Receptionist Amy typed furiously on the keyboard and clicked the mouse a couple times before looking back up. “Actually, you’re in luck, we’ve got at least one opening in each price range, would you like a suite, a duplex room, or a room with a single bed?”
I thought for a second, there was a strict criteria I needed for my room, “Do the rooms with the single beds still have TV’s that get HBO?”
“HBO and HBO Español,” she replied.
“Alright, I’ll take a single-bed room.” See, I wasn’t extremely picky. I just needed my free movies. Hopefully tonight they’d have on something like The Notebook, something really romantic and light-hearted to take my mind off of my situation for a couple hours. Maybe then tomorrow morning I’d go down to the hotel spa for some pampering, take a little swim in the pool, and/or work out a little bit in the hotel gym. The possibilities were endless.
“You will be charged two-hundred and twelve Euros per night for the room at check-out. How long will you be staying with us?” the receptionist asked.
“Um, I think one night will be long enough,” I replied.
“Alright here is your key. You are in room 209. Thank you, and enjoy your stay,” the receptionist said as she handed me a card about the size of a credit card with a magnetic strip that would send out the code to unlock my specific room. I used to love these kinds of locks, they were actually easier to “pick” than tumblers if you knew how and had the equipment.
I rolled my suitcase to the elevator and pressed the up button. I guess that moment would have been a really good moment to remember that hotel elevators were one of my biggest pet peeves, because what happened next would set the stage for the future. As I waited impatiently for the elevator, going on five minutes a familiar figure sauntered up next to me.
“Lucy?!”, asked a familiar voice, one that I would have recognized anywhere. That sultry voice, combined with those good looks of hers, were only a couple things that I would never forget about Chastity…
**************About Five Years Ago**************
Ugh. I seriously wanted to denounce my father. Just about a month ago he had told me that I would be taking a break from the family crime syndicate to join this all-girl gang whose director he was good friends with. I mean, I knew Dr. Head, or Dr. Corleone as he liked to be called by the gang, but I wasn’t sure about this whole thing.
My father had told me that this would help me as I tried to take over the family business, which I still didn’t know if I wanted to do. My father’s shoes would be difficult to fill, and I wasn’t sure I was mentally up to the task. I mean, my father was one of the most renowned cat burglars in recent history, he was also a renowned jewel thief, and I didn’t know if I could ever reach that status. Unfortunately, he was also pegged as a killer, even though as far as I knew he had never killed anyone. So much for the “intelligence” community, sometimes I’ve thought that the CIA should actually be the CUIA, the Central Un-Intelligence Community.
I found myself boarding a jet bound for Germany, traveling with several notorious criminals and Dr. Corleone himself. As I boarded the plane, I saw Corleone playing chess against a dark-haired male. Without looking, I knew Corleone was winning - he was a master chess player, always thinking at least five moves ahead of anyone else, which was the reason he was so good at crime. Then, I caught a glimpse of something out of the corner of my eye that took my breath away. Actually, maybe I should say that I caught a glimpse of someone out of the corner of my eye. She was a gorgeous redhead with an amazing…wait; this was a girl I was talking about…how could I be thinking this about a girl? I wondered. I mean, I had never really been attracted to boys, but I thought it was just a phrase I was going through. I mean, I was sure that one day I’d find the right guy for me and instantaneously I’d know that he was the person I would spend the rest of my life with. Maybe I was a sucker for love, but I believed in love at first sight. I thoroughly believed that it was possible to see someone’s soul the first time you met them.
Was it possible that the reason I hadn’t been attracted to boys wasn’t just because I’d never met the right one? I mean, I had thought that some girls were really good looking, but I thought every girl had thoughts like that…what if I actually was attracted to girls instead of guys? I had heard about girls like that, they were called lesbians, and they were always the ones getting killed in the movies. What if I was a lesbian?
I finally made up my mind, and walking over to the redheaded beauty I looked at her until she looked at me, “Um…is that seat taken?” I asked, motioning to the seat beside her, next to the window.
“No, but I can slide over too, if you’d like,” she responded, a smile on her face. Wow, I never knew a smile could look so good on a girl…stop it Lucy, I tried to force these thoughts out of my mind, but they just wouldn’t go away. “I’m Charitine by the way, but everyone calls me Chastity,” she said, extending her hand as she slid over. I sat down in the seat that she had just vacated.
“I’m Lucy. Nice to meet you,” I responded, grasping her hand and shaking it, all the while thinking how nice her hand felt in mine.
**************Back at the hotel**************
“Chastity,” I sighed. If there was one person I really did not want to see at the current time, it was her. This wasn’t because I was still mad at her or because I still hated her. No, the reason I really did not want to see her was because at this point in time I really did not want my body to do the thinking for my mind. If that happened, there was only one place for this to go.
“Lucy, you don’t seem very happy to see me. Trouble in paradise?” she said using her American accent. I stared at her for a second. If she got the situation from my dejection, even after the way that I was treating her recently, then her omniscience was truly odd. Then again, she was a master criminal, and she clearly would need keen powers of observation if she wanted to survive. Maybe that was how she knew.
“Yeah, you know we were busted today at the museum?”
“Yeah, I heard Tiny and Smalls were arrested, you should have heard Corleone rant about it. I told that old bastard that it was a rush job, but would he listen to me? No!” she said. At that moment, I knew I should ask her about the clams, she obviously felt better, but I kept silent for an unknown reason. “Do you need help up to your room?”
“No, I’ve got it covered,” I responded.
“Well, after you’re settled, would you want to get a drink or two? There’s a nice little bar in the hotel. They’ve got a band playing today and they’re pretty good. I just came from the show. They’re into a lot of older music, they were playing some Beatles, Who, and Zeppelin, but if you like that stuff, they’re really good.”
“I don’t know, Amy and I just had a fight…” I responded.
“Oh, come on, it’ll be fun.”
I knew I shouldn’t, I really knew it was a bad idea, but I decided to accept her offer anyway. “Sure, just let me put my stuff in my room and I’ll be right down.”
“Cool, I’ll get us a table,” Chastity said as she flashed me a smile.
Body, stop thinking…brain, please take over.
**************Five years ago, in Berlin, Germany**************
As all the members of Pink Thunder and I got off the plane, I watched the group that I would soon be an official operative of, and couldn’t help but change my mind. Maybe this actually was going to be a good period of my life, especially if that meant spending more time with Chastity. I couldn’t quite categorize what I felt, but I knew I felt something. I hoped to spend a lot of time with her.
Corleone was the last to get off the plane, and as he did he called out to me, as I was only a few steps ahead of him. “Lucy…”
“Yes, Doctor?”
“Ssstop it with ‘Doctorrr,’ you’rrre in grrroup now, you’rrre family. Family callsss me Corrrleone.”
“Alright sir…sorry, Corleone,” I corrected myself.
“I’d like to introduce you to grrroup. Everrryone, come here,” he called to the rest of the group, who were gathered around the limo that would probably escort us to headquarters. “Lucy, thisss isss not everrryone in Pink Thunder, but this is the sssquad you have been assigned to. Thessse two are Tiny and Sssmalls,” he pointed out the two extremely tall, heavily muscled women I had seen on the plane.
“Nice to meet you,” I said shaking one of their hands.
“Yah, eet ees pleasurrre,” said one of the twins.
“And Lucy, thisss isss yourrr rrroommate, Charitine LeFleur, of the LeFleurs,” I had heard the name before. They were the leading crime family in Western Europe, based in France. From what I had heard, they were like the mafia, except more ruthless. They had compared themselves to my family as far as pure aptitude for crime. Of course, my father hated the comparisons due the LeFleurs’ nasty habit of ‘ridding’ themselves of their enemies. “Ve call herrr Chassstity, Lucy.”
I extended a hand, greeting her for a second time. “We’ve met,” I told Corleone, “but I didn’t know she was a LeFleur.”
“Eh, it’s not important,” said Chastity, slipping into a French accent that I totally was not expecting.
“Wait, on the plane you talked with an English accent,” I said, wondering what she was up to. I retracted my hand, suspicious of Chastity, I guess that showed my inexperience when Corleone gave the explanation.
“Lucy, Chassstity isss a massster of dialogue,” Corleone said. That made sense to me, I guess she blended in to her situations to make people more comfortable.
I extended my hand yet again and this time Chastity took it and shook. “It’s a pleazure,” she said, still in a French accent. At the time, I couldn’t stop thinking how amazing that sentence sounded with her accent.
**************Back at the hotel, in Lucy’s room**************
I put down my suitcase and unpacked my essentials, placing my toothbrush, hairbrush, soap and shampoo in the bathroom. I walked back to my bed and lay down, just trying to get my head on the right track. Chastity was bad news, I knew that, but my body didn’t. Maybe I’m a bit of a nymphomaniac, but I hadn’t had any release for a while, and my desire for pleasure was really starting to take over. It clouded my senses when I was around Chastity, which was why part of me really did not want to go back down to the bar, but that part had seemed to be taking a hiatus after my run-in with Amy.
As I said, I hate hotel elevators. There are usually so many people in hotels that are riding in an elevator that the elevators take an excruciatingly long amount of time to come. Since I was only on the second floor, two floors above the lobby, I decided to take the stairs. As I descended, I kept thinking to myself not to take this too far. This meeting would only be about sharing a drink with an old friend in my misery…except I knew what Chastity wanted.
Chastity was never one to actually settle anywhere, she knew what she wanted and usually got it. She would do anything to get what she wanted, including feigning love. I never really loved Chastity, at least not like I loved Amy, but when we were together I had thought that I did. I had thought she had loved me, but apparently, according to her note, she got bored with the relationship, and just decided to break it off.
So now, here I was, once again, playing a part in Chastity’s game to live for the moment and indulge in the senses. I just hoped I wouldn’t fall prey to her like I had the last time.
I finished my descent of the stairs, opened the fire door and stepped into the lobby. In the window of the bar I saw the band that was playing tonight; one of the members was on the drums, another on bass guitar, and another on an acoustic-electric guitar. Walking towards the door of the bar, I spotted Chastity through the window. She had apparently changed clothing since our encounter in the lobby. Instead of the unrevealing outfit I had seen her in earlier, she was wearing a button-down silk blouse, which was unbuttoned enough to show off a black silk bra. I gulped and walked into the restaurant to sit next to Chastity.
“Hey babe,” she said.
“Hey,” I said, while simultaneously making a conscious effort not to look at the appealing outfit she was wearing. “Um, you look nice tonight.”
“Thanks, you like? It’s something I wore especially for you.”
This forced another gulp as I heard my confirmation of her plans. Well, if I just resisted, I could stop anything that may happen, right? The only hard part would be pulling back because my body really was finding it difficult to resist. “Um, yeah, it’s a really nice blouse, Chastity.”
“I thought you’d like it. Want a drink?”
“Sure…what’re you having?”
“I’m going to have a 7&7. What about you?”
“Get me a Black Russian on the rocks.”
As she got up to head to the bar, I got a chance to listen to the band. They were actually pretty good, and they had a nice retro sound to them, with the acoustic-electric guitar they were using. They were playing Uncle Kracker’s song Follow Me. I must say that I really didn’t like the song to begin with, but the fact that it was about having an affair with someone really made me hate the song right now. Meanwhile, my brain and my body continued their tug of war about love versus pleasure. Soon Chastity came back with the drinks.
“One 7&7 for me, one Black Russian for you,” she said, placing her glass near her and handing me my glass filled with the black poison that was a mixture of vodka and Kahlúa. I could hold my liquor, but these were strong. My brain figured that this would be my only drink tonight, but knowing how my brain was faring in arguments recently, I’d have to say that I doubted it would be. “Going for the strong stuff today, Lucy? What’s happened that’s that bad?”
“It’s Amy…Chastity, I don’t know, I think we’ve broken up,” as I said those words, I swear that I could see a quick, faint glimpse of a smile on her face. Then again, maybe I was being paranoid, I had good reason to be.
“Oh, don’t worry about her, she never deserved you anyway. You need someone who knows what they want, someone who does anything they want. You don’t need a goody-two-shoes being on your case all the time. You need someone…”
I cut her off. “Someone like you? I don’t think so, Chastity. You remember the first time that happened…” I said. I knew I sure did.
**************About four years ago, Berlin, Germany**************
Come on, it’ll be fun, those were the last words Chastity had said before dragging me out to this club. Sure we had talked in the car, but those were the words that stuck in my mind as I surveyed the club, which was full of same-sex couples. Everywhere you looked, there were guys flirting with and making out with guys and girls hooking up with girls. She had taken me to a gay club…
“Chastity?! What is this place?” I asked. Well, that wasn’t really the question, I knew what this place was, but I didn’t really know why we were here.
“This is one of my favorite places to come,” she responded. “Lucy, I’m a lesbian.” I paused and I must have looked at her like a chicken with its head cut off because she quickly came back with another comment. “Lucy…you must have been able to figure it out by now, right?” she asked, laughing maybe a bit mockingly.
“How? How could I have figured it out?” I asked. I mean, she had never taken any girls up to our room…well, then again, she never had taken any boys up there either.
“Lucy, how many pictures of girls do I have in my room?”
“You mean your sisters?” I assumed that was who they were. She had told me that she had three sisters, and there were a bunch of pictures featuring the same three girls in our room. Granted, they looked nothing like Chastity really, but maybe I was naïve.
“Lucy, those aren’t sisters. They’re my ex-girlfriends.”
“Oh,” I said, looking down. “But why are you taking me here?”
“Well, I noticed you don’t put any posters of guys up in your room, you have no pictures of ex-boyfriends…”
“Yeah, well maybe I just haven’t met Mr. Right!” I quipped, although I wasn’t sure why. I actually felt kind of comfortable here, but that in itself was discomforting to me. “It doesn’t mean I’m a…” I leaned in close to whisper, “it doesn’t mean I’m a lesbian.”
“Lucy, do you find guys attractive?” she asked. It was a valid question.
“Um…not really…but they’re not bad looking,” I responded.
“And what do you think about girls?”
“Well, they’re nicer to look at,” I responded, blushing. “Chastity, I’m not a lesbian!”
“Lucy, it’s alright to admit you like women, it’s not a crime,” she said. True, it wasn’t a crime, but she hadn’t been raised in my family. My father, despite being a crook, was a religious jewel thief, and not in the sense that he stole religiously, he was a total Pat Robertson-subscribing member of the Christian Right. If Chastity was right, and I thought she may be, that I was a lesbian, I didn’t even want to think about my father’s reaction to that.
“Chastity…I can’t be here…maybe you’re right, but I just don’t know,” I said, entirely confused. I had no idea what I wanted. I found Chastity to be an extremely attractive woman, but did that mean that I was a complete lesbian? And what if my dad found out? I’d no longer be the heir to the Reynolds Crime Syndicate; my father would renounce me as his heir apparent.
“Alright, let’s go,” she said, dejectedly, looking me in the eye. Man, was she a good manipulator I thought as she made she feel incredibly guilty.
“I guess I could stay,” I responded as a grin grew on her face.
“Good, I thought you would.”
**************Back at the hotel, in the bar**************
“So anyway, I was thinking about how much more effective Pink Thunder could be if it had the right leader,” Chastity said. I had been toning her out, listening to the band as they played Jet’s hit song Shine On. Listening to the lyrics, I was reminded of the domestic situation I was in right now with Amy.
Please don't cry
You know I'm leaving here tonight
Before I go I want you to know that there will always be a light
And if the moon had to runaway
And all the stars didn't wanna play
Don't waste the sun on a rainy day
The wind will soon blow it all away
So many times I planned
To be much more than who I am
And if I let you down I will follow you 'round until you understand
That if the moon had to runaway
And all the stars didn't wanna play
Don't waste the sun on a rainy day
The wind will soon blow it all away
When the days all feel the same
Don't feel the cold or wind or rain
Everything will be okay
We will meet again one day
And I will shine on, for everyone
So please don't cry
Although I leave you here this night
Where I go how far I don't know
But I will always be your light
That if the moon had to runaway
And all the stars didn't wanna play
Don't waste the sun on a rainy day
The wind will soon blow it all away
When the days all seem the same
Don't feel the cold or wind or rain
Everything will be okay
We will meet again one day
I will shine on, for everyone
Shine on, for everyone
When the stars all look the same
Don't feel the cold or wind or rain
Everything will be okay
We will meet again one day
I will shine on, for everyone
Shine on, for everyone
Just listening to the heartbroken lyrics of the song was enough to show me just how heartbroken I was about losing Amy. The part that struck me the hardest were the lyrics that went “So many times I planned to be much more than who I am, and if I let you down I will follow you 'round until you understand.” Maybe that was the path I should take. I definitely should hold onto her as long as I could. Hopefully she’d understand how much it had hurt me to lie to her. Still, as much as I wanted to call Amy and tell her that I should have trusted her enough to tell her, I was still mad at her. I was the one at fault, and I couldn’t tell the woman I loved that I was sorry. I was pathetic.
“Lucy?, Lucy?!, Are you even listening?” Chastity asked.
I had heard something about Corleone, and her comment that someone more competent would make a better leader, but I had tuned out the rest. “Huh?” I asked.
“Never mind. It’s lost on you, anyway.”
“What’s that about?”
“Well, you wouldn’t listen to me anyway. You haven’t been very respectful of me since I’ve been back. I thought we had cleared all of that up in Reykjavik, when I found you there.”
“Yeah,” I said, hanging my head. “I’m not really that mad at you anymore about breaking up, but…” I trailed off. I couldn’t bring myself to admit the real reason. I couldn’t tell her that I had been acting like a jerk because I was afraid that I still had feelings for her.
“I think I know why…and Lucy, it’s alright, I still have feelings for you too,” oh shit…I sometimes felt like she could read my mind, and at this point in time, that was definitely not what I had wanted.
“It’s not…” I trailed off. I wanted to tell her that it simply wasn’t true. I wanted to tell her that she had it all wrong, that I had no feelings for her anymore, but lying had gotten me into a lot of trouble, and I wasn’t feeling like lying again. That and I realized as I finished my Black Russian that I was feeling the effects of the alcohol a bit.
“Yes it is Lucy, I know that’s the reason. Your voice may argue otherwise, but your eyes give you away. I read people for a living, Lucy. Want another drink?”
“Yeah, get me a mojito?”
“Sure thing,” she said as she left the table. I folded my arms on the table and rested my head on them. What was I doing here? I thought I had learned my lesson a long time ago.
**************About four years ago, Paris, France**************
It was supposed to be a simple mission. The mission had been to infiltrate the Louvre and clean up as much as we could carry. Still bearing the honorary position of “the new girl,” I was the getaway driver. I wasn’t supposed to set foot in the Louvre at all. Well, at least that was the plan.
It was this mission that reminded me what they say about the best-laid plans of mice and men, as Tiny and Smalls came running back to the car. “What happened guys?” I asked.
“Move like vind!” Tiny shouted. I had been about to ask where Chastity was, until I realized that Tiny had actually used a simile that did not involve the word ‘bear.’
“Wow, Tiny…” I started, but was interrupted by Smalls.
“You mean, move like bearrr.”
“Oh, yah,” replied Tiny.
“Guys, where’s Chastity?” I asked.
“She still in building. Alarm go off and she still inside,” Smalls explained. At that point, I knew I had to go into the building, not necessarily to prove myself, but to save Chastity. I flung open the door and ran to the Louvre entrance, which was still unlocked.
I ran into the lobby and found Chastity. A security guard stood behind her, holding a gun that he was pressing into the back of her head. He glared at me. “So,” he said to Chastity, “this one of your friends? She come to rob the place with you?”
“What if she is?” Chastity answered.
“Well, the cops will have some extra work to do then.”
“Chastity,” I said, “are you ok?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” she winked and looked down at my belt. She knew I wasn’t into killing, and because of that, whereas other agents carried a .45 caliber handgun, I carried a tranquilizer gun, which I felt for and quickly drew, firing before the security guard even had a chance. I had learned how to quickly fire from Chastity.
With the guard down, Chastity ran over to me and put an arm around me. “Thank you, Lucy,” she said as she hugged me. The hug felt amazing. As I was becoming more and more involved in the group, I had begun to accept who I was; no longer was I a little touchy about the subject.
I didn’t even have a problem when she twirled me around so that I faced her and kissed me. It was electric. I had never really had a kiss like this before. Many nights I had found myself wondering how Chastity would feel to hold, to kiss, but nothing could have prepared me for that moment.
With that kiss, with that mind-numbingly good feeling, I realized that I had found myself. I wasn’t straight, nor did I like men…as much as I had not wanted to admit it before…I was a lesbian, and I was hers.
**************Back in the bar**************
That night was one of the best nights of my life. Although everything else about the relationship turned out horribly, that night I had made the biggest decision and discovery I had ever made. After we got back to headquarters, Chastity and I fell into bed together instantly. It was the first time I had ever been intimate with anyone, and I let her take my virginity. As Chastity brought me the mojito I had ordered, I realized that maybe that was the reason I felt such a strong connection to her. Perhaps I felt compelled towards her because she deflowered me. I was reminded of the Cat Stevens song - The First Cut is the Deepest, and realized for the first time how true those lyrics were.
“So,” Chastity began, “let’s get back to how you want me.”
Oh, God, not this subject again, I thought to myself. “Chastity, I…don’t…want…you,” I said, thoroughly unconvincing. If I couldn’t even manage to convince myself, how could I manage to convince Chastity?
“That’s alright,” Chastity said, putting a hand on mine, “as I said, I want you too.” She started to lean in for a kiss.
Shit! I had a split second decision to make, and it was one my body and mind were wrestling over, the same decision they’d been wrestling over from the time I saw Chastity in the restaurant. It was a tug-of-war, a struggle between pleasure and love. It was a battle won by pleasure as I leaned into Chastity and kissed the lips that I had known so well. Her mouth opened, and her tongue sought entrance into my mouth. Once again, my brain sent signals to my mouth to stop what I was doing and not to go any further; these signals must have been interrupted by my body’s yearning, however, as I obliged and granted the entrance her tongue sought.
Stop it! This is wrong…this is SO wrong. Finally, something my brain was telling me got through, and I broke the kiss, jumping up from the table. “Um…Chastity, I really need to go to the bathroom,” I said, leaving my drink and my bag, and walking away as quickly as I could, receiving stares from eager males as I made my way to the bathroom.
I opened the door, entered a stall and just sat on the toilet seating, trying to think, trying to clear my mind. Not only was I being used right now, I was being unfaithful to the only girl who I truly loved, the girl I had given up everything to be with…the girl who I’d give everything up for all over again if I had to. And what was I giving her up for - a quick fix? It was wrong to Amy, and it was wrong for me, I realized. Listening from the bathroom, the band started a new song, this time that sparked memories of Chastity; this time, they were playing Bon Jovi’s You Give Love a Bad Name.
Shot through the heart
And you're to blame
Darling you give love a bad name
An angel's smile is what you sell
You promise me heaven, then put me through hell
Chains of love got a hold on me
When passion's a prison, you can't break free
You're a loaded gun
There's nowhere to run
No one can save me
The damage is done
Shot through the heart
And you're to blame
You give love a bad name
I play my part and you play your game
You give love a bad name
You give love a bad name
Paint your smile on your lips
Blood red nails on your fingertips
A school boy's dream, you act so shy
Your very first kiss was your first kiss goodbye
You're a loaded gun
There's nowhere to run
No one can save me
The damage is done
Shot through the heart
And you're to blame
You give love a bad name
I play my part and you play your game
You give love a bad name
You give love a bad name
For about a year, Chastity and I continued our relationship, all the while I thought that we were in love. True, looking back, I was a bit naïve, and I guess I was a prisoner of the physical passion that we shared, but it turned out to be all a game for her where she was the master and I the player. Of course, none of this became even slightly clear to me until I had decided to quit Pink Thunder, after my father’s death and the imprisonment of the Schaeffers.
**************Three Years Ago, Berlin**************
I was packing my bags and leaving the group today, my father had died, and I had made a deal with Corleone to get the Schaeffers out of the way; there was only one piece of business left unresolved. I really wanted Chastity to come along with me. I was convinced that I was in love with her, and, even though she often seemed distant, I was convinced that she was in love with me. At the time, I was sitting on our bed and looking up at my girlfriend.
“Chastity…you know I have to leave Pink Thunder, it’s always been the plan to take over the family syndicate after my father’s death, and now’s the time.” I looked at her, trying to express the feelings I was deluding myself with, “Please come with me, it would mean the world having you with me, we could rule the crime world together.”
“Lucy…no I won’t. Do you think I want to leave here? I’m in line to replace Corleone the same way you’re replacing your father. Why would I leave?”
I was struck by her answer. “Well, I thought you would leave because you love me.”
“Lucy, I care about you, but no. If I do this, I won’t be the head, I’ll be the lackey, and I don’t want to be the lackey for the rest of time.
“Chastity, you won’t ever be my lackey,” I tried to explain. “We’d be partners here. You and I both would be in charge of the Reynolds Crime Syndicate.”
“No we wouldn’t, you’d still be the real head of the organization. And you’ve got one thing right - I’ll never be your lackey. If anything, I would be in charge of Pink Thunder and you’d be my lackey!”
“Chastity, why the hell are you acting this way?” I asked, surprised at the confidence I had gained in the short period of our relationship.
“I’m acting this way because I’ll never be happy being subservient, and if you want me to be subservient, I’ll never be happy with you!”
“Damn it, Chastity! Are you even listening to me? I said you wouldn’t be subservient; we’d be partners!”
“I don’t want to be partners either. I’m not going, and that’s it.”
“Chastity…” I sighed. As I left the room, I had no idea that would be one of the last straws of our relationship.
**************Back in the bar**************
The band had started to play a new song, and once again, it seemed to have a lot to do with my life. I wondered whether they were reading my mind, or what…or, maybe it was just me…maybe I was just reading too much into the lyrics, and they kept reminding me how screwed I was right now. The song they were playing now was Meatloaf’s classic Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad.
I want you
I need you
But there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you
Now don't be sad
'Cause two out of three ain't bad
The song was extremely poignant for my old relationship with Chastity. I may have thought that there was love in the relationship, but at that time, I didn’t know what true love was, and soon after the fight we had about her coming with me to be partners, I found out her true feelings for me…
**************Three Years Ago, Los Angeles, California**************
Chastity and I had continued to see each other sporadically whenever she had the chance to visit the states. She still refused to leave Pink Thunder and come with me to control the Reynolds Crime Syndicate, but that didn’t mean I didn’t want to see her.
Now, exactly a year after the Louvre mission on that fateful Tuesday night, it was our anniversary. Once again, I planned to ask her to stay in the states, and she had hinted that she was getting closer to actually staying the last time I had seen her. Perhaps on as special an occasion as this she might say yes. At least that was what I had thought.
I had gotten us reservations for a very nice restaurant, Les Deux Amores, and had told her about the date, but it was an hour and a half into the evening and she still hadn’t shown. At this point I was past the point of worrying about her and was close to panicking. I didn’t know if she was stuck in traffic, had gotten into an accident, or had been apprehended. The one thing I didn’t count on was that she could even possibly be blowing me off.
A man wearing an Australian brimmed hat walked into the restaurant, and, to my surprise, he sat next to me. “G’day mate!” he said, with maybe a little too much enthusiasm. “Ma name’s Hunter. Ya Miss Lucy, mate?”
“Yeah?” I responded, a little apprehensively…who was this guy?
“Ah, soorry mate, but Chastity’s not comin’. Shai sent me. ‘Ere, this’s for ya,” he handed me an envelop closed by and bearing the LeFleur seal on the back. “G’day!”
Those Australians, they really got on my nerve, but I really didn’t have any problems with them, I just didn’t like their attitudes. I opened the letter, a little upset at his saying that Chastity wasn’t coming, why wouldn’t she?
Dear Lucy,
I think we’ve gotten a little too involved here. You see, I’m not really a person to get attached. I’ve never loved someone in my life, and even though you think you love me, I know you really don’t. You’re just too attached to me to see this right now and I need to end it.
I get bored easily in relationships and I’m at that point now with you and once I get bored, I act, and that’s what I’m doing now.
We’re over Lucy.
Love,
Chastity
PS - Can I have my gun back?
Forget that comment I made about not hating Australians…I hated them alright. Australia was toast
**************Back in the bar**************
What was with this band??? Every song they played reminded me of myself. Now they were playing one of Simon and Garfunkel’s most classic songs, I Am A Rock. They played it more like a rock song than the acoustic folksy song it was, which I definitely didn’t like - you don’t mess with classics that way. Anyway, I guess I had never realized the real meaning of this song before I heard the lyrics this time, when the meaning hit me.
A winter's day
In a deep and dark December
I am alone
Gazing from my window
To the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow
I am a rock
I am an island
I've built walls
A fortress deep and mighty
That none may penetrate
I have no need for friendship
Friendship causes pain
It's laughter and it's loving I disdain.
I am a rock
I am an island
Don't talk of love
Well, I've heard the word before
It's sleeping in my memory
I won't disturb the slumber
Of feelings that have died
If I'd never loved,
I never would have cried
I am a rock
I am an island
I have my books
And my poetry to protect me
I am shielded in my armor
Hiding in my room
Safe within my womb
I touch no one and no one touches me
I am a rock
I am an island
And a rock feels no pain
And an island never cries
I had always thought the point of the song was that Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel were saying that they didn’t actually need anyone, but now I saw the song in an entirely new light. They weren’t saying that they were rocks and islands; they were making a point that they acted that way and found out that they weren’t.
Then it struck me - that’s the way I was acting with Amy. Like the song, I had built walls, a fortress deep and mighty, that none could penetrate, and that was wrong. I shouldn’t have done that. I thought that I had been shielded in my armor, and that as long as I hid in my room, safe within my womb, that if I touched no one, no one would touch me either. The problem was, that notion was dead wrong. Amy had touched me, and I had apparently touched her, and we were feeling the mutual pain of the betrayal of that connection. I had thought that I was a rock, that I was an island, but I felt pain, I had cried. I wasn’t really an island. I had decided to call Amy, let her know that I wanted to work things out, and go back to the bar and call the night off with Chastity. Yes, that was what I would do.
It was a simple idea, but apparently one that was very hard to put into practice, I found, once I had walked back to the table and sat down. I mean, I still had a full mojito to drink; I couldn’t leave that, could I? So I drank a few sips of the mojito, tasting the lime and mint mixture that I loved so much, all the while trying to avoid eye contact with Chastity. Unfortunately, maybe that had been the wrong decision, as the ground my brain had gained in the battle against my body, the gain that love had made against desire was dissipating…
---------------------
Amy’s POV
I was in my bed, still thinking about how to best reconcile things with Lucy, when I heard the beeping noise my cell phone emits whenever I get a text message. Looking at the phone number from whose phone the text message was sent, I saw that it was Lucy.
Amy Im sorry. Im @ El Hotel Nacional Espanol de Barcelona in rm 209. Pleez come.
“Scud!” I called to Scud, who was sleeping in the guest room across the room.
“Uhhh…huh?” he sounded like he had been asleep.
“Scud, come here!”
“Ah geez! I was having the best dream.” Scud complained as he walked into my room, rubbing his red eyes. “Can’t a guy get any sleep around here?”
“Scud, Lucy just sent me a text message.”
“She did? What’d it say?”
“It said to meet her at this hotel she was staying at - El Hotel Nacional Español de Barcelona. I’m still kind of emotional, so if you don’t mind, could you drive me?”
“Yeah, sure…just let me wake up fully and get dressed,” he said as he disappeared back into the hall and his room.
A couple minutes later we were in the car, headed down to meet Lucy at the hotel.
---------------------
Lucy’s POV
The alcohol must have been really working on me, although normally I could hold my alcohol like a three hundred pound weightlifter. Usually, I could out-drink Tiny or Smalls, but today it seemed like I was having trouble holding my alcohol at all. I was actually talking with Chastity, although I really wasn’t sure what it was about, all I could think about was how good she was looking right now.
Not long after I finished my mojito, she leaned in for another kiss, and I obliged, my tongue seeking entrance to Chastity’s mouth. She broke the kiss and kissed me around my chin and neck before I pushed her away.
“Chastity, people are staring!” I admonished. It was true, well, mostly it was guys, who were drooling at the thought of these two “hot” girls hooking up.
“Why don’t we go up to your room?” Chastity asked.
If I was thinking, I knew the right thing to say would have been No! Absolutely not! I had just made the decision to work things out with Amy, but I was having trouble thinking, though, at least comprehensible thoughts. I couldn’t even try to think anything in a complete thought process. The only thing I could think about was how good she would make me feel, and how I needed this. My mind slid into the background in the fight against my body, and love had succumbed to passion as I took her hand and led her out of the bar.
---------------------
Hello, Hello
I'm at a place called Vertigo
It's everything I wish I didn't know
Except you give me something
I can feel, feel
---------------------
Yes, maybe the band was just an excuse to put more song lyrics in there…
Please do not mind that this chapter is about half as long as everything else combined.
~Dan
Next Chapter: Heartbreak http://laharlthedemon.livejournal.com/2534.html
FINALLY - the real story I have planned for all of you. Think of everything up to now as the introduction, the preface, if you will. Now we start the twists and turns that only a handful of people know are coming.
Thanks again to Keaira. This comment’s really getting repetitive, and I’m running out of things to say…so I’ll just say thank you. This story’s just as much yours as it is mine at this point.
Oh, and here’s a question that music fans can answer. I’m thinking about sharing or publishing the playlist for this fic on Rhapsody’s Playlist Central. I’ll only do this if anyone would actually be interested in listening to it, so let me know if you’re a Rhapsody subscriber who wants to listen to the soundtrack for nothing other than your subscription fees.
There’s a line in here adapted from a good movie starring Ben Stiller, find it and tell me what movie it’s from and who said it (it’s a famous actor) and I’ll let you pick out a song for an upcoming chapter.
Opening lyrics come from Pat Benatar’s We Belong; end lyrics belong to U2’s Vertigo. Other lyrics used in the chapter are noted by author and song title. All lyrics used are not meant to violate copyright laws at all and are not used for profit in any way.
Chapter 7: Temptation Returns
---------------------
Don't want to leave you really
I've invested too much time
To give you up that easy
To the doubts that complicate your mind
---------------------
Amy’s POV
I must have laid on the sofa for only a couple minutes before the full extent of the loss of Lucy hit me. I had given up everything in my life for her, and losing her for good therefore would be losing everything else. Still, I faced a couple obstacles preventing me from reconciling with Lucy, at least right now. Lucy had lied to me; she had lied to me with a straight face, and I had accepted it as the truth. How then could I legitimately believe an apology from her? How could I tell that she was sincere and not merely putting on the same façade she wore lying to me all those times before?
Another obstacle I faced was deciding whether or not I actually wanted to reconcile. Lucy had taken everything I had given her and thrown it all away. She had betrayed me, and it hurt, it stung worse than any physical pain I had ever experienced. I just didn’t know anymore, I didn’t know if she loved me. Was it even an option to reconcile with a person that I loved if they didn’t reciprocate those feelings?
I forced myself to sit upright on the sofa, wiping away tears with the back of my hand. The only place in the room I could bear to look was at the floor, and I just stared there for some time, not knowing what should be my next move. Suddenly, I felt someone near me and I saw a hand appear under my head bearing a tissue.
“Thanks Scud,” I said, turning my head to look at him.
“You okay, Amy?” he asked, sounding genuinely concerned.
“Yeah I’m…no, Scud, I’m not really…” I replied, hanging my head once again.
“Amy, you know, she loves you, probably more than she loves herself. You mean the world to her,” I raised my head and looked at him with a skeptical look. “Really, Amy, you do.”
“You’re only saying that ‘cause you’re like her brother. If she did, she wouldn’t have lied to me.”
“She lied to you because she loves you, and didn’t want you to get hurt. I told her it was a bad idea, but she made the wrong decision. But, Amy, her heart was in the right place.”
“How do you know that, Scud? Lucy lies without a tell, she’s probably a better liar than I am.”
“Amy, trust me, when you’ve been around Lucy as long as I have, you figure out her tells. She does have some, but you have to look closely.”
“Well, I mean sometimes she’d hesitate, and I didn’t always believe her then…but I did in the end.”
“And why do you think that is?” he asked, looking into my eyes.
“I don’t know, why?”
“Because you wanted to. And that’s good, because at least you’re open.”
“Open to what?” I asked, not knowing where he was going with this.
“Well, you’re open to love, unlike Lucy sometimes. See, Amy, with Lucy, love is harder than crime, or war, or lying. You’re different, loving comes easier to you than to Lucy. She’ll be back,” he placed a hand on my back and patted me gently.
“Scud…” I asked.
“Yeah?”
“Scud, what would Lucy do if she were in my situation?”
“She’d try to blow up Australia,” he said straight-faced. I looked at him and he wasn’t kidding, but I did remember Lucy saying that whenever she was dumped she used to try that.
“Scud, you know I’d never do that,” I let out a bit of a laugh, “so what would Lucy do after that?”
“Well, I guess she’d take my advice.”
“And what would that be?”
“Well, first we find her…she’s gotta be at a hotel, or an inn, right? So we find out where she is, sneak in, infiltrate the hotel’s database to find out her room number, crack the code to gain access to the room and then…”
I could see why Lucy had trouble with love, Scud’s advice was a bit too complicated than it had to be. “And then what, Scud?” I humored him.
“And then you go into the hotel room and tell you love her.”
I looked at him with a cynical look. “Scud…you call that a plan?”
“Yeah, what do you think would be better?”
“Why don’t I just wait for tonight and call her in the morning?” I asked.
“Well, that’d work too,” he grinned, “but it isn’t nearly as much fun.”
“Alright Scud, I’m going up to bed. When are you going back to the states to be back with Janet?”
“When I’m sure you and Lucy won’t kill each other. Goodnight,” he called as I rose off of the sofa and started to climb the stairs.
“Good night, Scud…and Scud,” he looked at me, “thanks for making me feel better.”
“Hey, no thanks needed. That’s my job.”
---------------------
Lucy’s POV
Driving in my car, I was headed in the direction of the nicest hotel close to our house. All through the car ride, I was second-guessing myself, wondering how I could have possibly screwed up as badly as I did. Amy meant the world to me and I had thrown that all away. Hopefully she could forgive me, but even I had to admit that I probably wasn’t worthy of that forgiveness.
After about fifteen minutes of driving along the left hand side of the road (which had taken some getting used to when we first moved to Europe, as had driving on the right side of the car) only seeing the occasional passing car, a giant hotel complex greeted me with a tall white sign displaying the name of this particular five-star hotel, El Hotel Nacional Español de Barcelona. Pulling into the parking lot, I parked my car and walked into the hotel’s lobby, rolling my suitcase along with me. The receptionist was a good-looking woman, who looked young enough to be a college student. She had light brown hair tied back behind her head in a ponytail and was wearing the hotel’s uniform, a white button down shirt, with black pants and a red patterned vest. The hotel catered to ambassadors, tourists and foreigners in general, so the common language in the hotel was English.
“Can I help you?” she asked.
I looked down at her nametag. Just as luck would have it, she shared the same name as the person I was trying to forget about at the current time, “Yes, Amy. Are there any vacant rooms?”
Receptionist Amy typed furiously on the keyboard and clicked the mouse a couple times before looking back up. “Actually, you’re in luck, we’ve got at least one opening in each price range, would you like a suite, a duplex room, or a room with a single bed?”
I thought for a second, there was a strict criteria I needed for my room, “Do the rooms with the single beds still have TV’s that get HBO?”
“HBO and HBO Español,” she replied.
“Alright, I’ll take a single-bed room.” See, I wasn’t extremely picky. I just needed my free movies. Hopefully tonight they’d have on something like The Notebook, something really romantic and light-hearted to take my mind off of my situation for a couple hours. Maybe then tomorrow morning I’d go down to the hotel spa for some pampering, take a little swim in the pool, and/or work out a little bit in the hotel gym. The possibilities were endless.
“You will be charged two-hundred and twelve Euros per night for the room at check-out. How long will you be staying with us?” the receptionist asked.
“Um, I think one night will be long enough,” I replied.
“Alright here is your key. You are in room 209. Thank you, and enjoy your stay,” the receptionist said as she handed me a card about the size of a credit card with a magnetic strip that would send out the code to unlock my specific room. I used to love these kinds of locks, they were actually easier to “pick” than tumblers if you knew how and had the equipment.
I rolled my suitcase to the elevator and pressed the up button. I guess that moment would have been a really good moment to remember that hotel elevators were one of my biggest pet peeves, because what happened next would set the stage for the future. As I waited impatiently for the elevator, going on five minutes a familiar figure sauntered up next to me.
“Lucy?!”, asked a familiar voice, one that I would have recognized anywhere. That sultry voice, combined with those good looks of hers, were only a couple things that I would never forget about Chastity…
**************About Five Years Ago**************
Ugh. I seriously wanted to denounce my father. Just about a month ago he had told me that I would be taking a break from the family crime syndicate to join this all-girl gang whose director he was good friends with. I mean, I knew Dr. Head, or Dr. Corleone as he liked to be called by the gang, but I wasn’t sure about this whole thing.
My father had told me that this would help me as I tried to take over the family business, which I still didn’t know if I wanted to do. My father’s shoes would be difficult to fill, and I wasn’t sure I was mentally up to the task. I mean, my father was one of the most renowned cat burglars in recent history, he was also a renowned jewel thief, and I didn’t know if I could ever reach that status. Unfortunately, he was also pegged as a killer, even though as far as I knew he had never killed anyone. So much for the “intelligence” community, sometimes I’ve thought that the CIA should actually be the CUIA, the Central Un-Intelligence Community.
I found myself boarding a jet bound for Germany, traveling with several notorious criminals and Dr. Corleone himself. As I boarded the plane, I saw Corleone playing chess against a dark-haired male. Without looking, I knew Corleone was winning - he was a master chess player, always thinking at least five moves ahead of anyone else, which was the reason he was so good at crime. Then, I caught a glimpse of something out of the corner of my eye that took my breath away. Actually, maybe I should say that I caught a glimpse of someone out of the corner of my eye. She was a gorgeous redhead with an amazing…wait; this was a girl I was talking about…how could I be thinking this about a girl? I wondered. I mean, I had never really been attracted to boys, but I thought it was just a phrase I was going through. I mean, I was sure that one day I’d find the right guy for me and instantaneously I’d know that he was the person I would spend the rest of my life with. Maybe I was a sucker for love, but I believed in love at first sight. I thoroughly believed that it was possible to see someone’s soul the first time you met them.
Was it possible that the reason I hadn’t been attracted to boys wasn’t just because I’d never met the right one? I mean, I had thought that some girls were really good looking, but I thought every girl had thoughts like that…what if I actually was attracted to girls instead of guys? I had heard about girls like that, they were called lesbians, and they were always the ones getting killed in the movies. What if I was a lesbian?
I finally made up my mind, and walking over to the redheaded beauty I looked at her until she looked at me, “Um…is that seat taken?” I asked, motioning to the seat beside her, next to the window.
“No, but I can slide over too, if you’d like,” she responded, a smile on her face. Wow, I never knew a smile could look so good on a girl…stop it Lucy, I tried to force these thoughts out of my mind, but they just wouldn’t go away. “I’m Charitine by the way, but everyone calls me Chastity,” she said, extending her hand as she slid over. I sat down in the seat that she had just vacated.
“I’m Lucy. Nice to meet you,” I responded, grasping her hand and shaking it, all the while thinking how nice her hand felt in mine.
**************Back at the hotel**************
“Chastity,” I sighed. If there was one person I really did not want to see at the current time, it was her. This wasn’t because I was still mad at her or because I still hated her. No, the reason I really did not want to see her was because at this point in time I really did not want my body to do the thinking for my mind. If that happened, there was only one place for this to go.
“Lucy, you don’t seem very happy to see me. Trouble in paradise?” she said using her American accent. I stared at her for a second. If she got the situation from my dejection, even after the way that I was treating her recently, then her omniscience was truly odd. Then again, she was a master criminal, and she clearly would need keen powers of observation if she wanted to survive. Maybe that was how she knew.
“Yeah, you know we were busted today at the museum?”
“Yeah, I heard Tiny and Smalls were arrested, you should have heard Corleone rant about it. I told that old bastard that it was a rush job, but would he listen to me? No!” she said. At that moment, I knew I should ask her about the clams, she obviously felt better, but I kept silent for an unknown reason. “Do you need help up to your room?”
“No, I’ve got it covered,” I responded.
“Well, after you’re settled, would you want to get a drink or two? There’s a nice little bar in the hotel. They’ve got a band playing today and they’re pretty good. I just came from the show. They’re into a lot of older music, they were playing some Beatles, Who, and Zeppelin, but if you like that stuff, they’re really good.”
“I don’t know, Amy and I just had a fight…” I responded.
“Oh, come on, it’ll be fun.”
I knew I shouldn’t, I really knew it was a bad idea, but I decided to accept her offer anyway. “Sure, just let me put my stuff in my room and I’ll be right down.”
“Cool, I’ll get us a table,” Chastity said as she flashed me a smile.
Body, stop thinking…brain, please take over.
**************Five years ago, in Berlin, Germany**************
As all the members of Pink Thunder and I got off the plane, I watched the group that I would soon be an official operative of, and couldn’t help but change my mind. Maybe this actually was going to be a good period of my life, especially if that meant spending more time with Chastity. I couldn’t quite categorize what I felt, but I knew I felt something. I hoped to spend a lot of time with her.
Corleone was the last to get off the plane, and as he did he called out to me, as I was only a few steps ahead of him. “Lucy…”
“Yes, Doctor?”
“Ssstop it with ‘Doctorrr,’ you’rrre in grrroup now, you’rrre family. Family callsss me Corrrleone.”
“Alright sir…sorry, Corleone,” I corrected myself.
“I’d like to introduce you to grrroup. Everrryone, come here,” he called to the rest of the group, who were gathered around the limo that would probably escort us to headquarters. “Lucy, thisss isss not everrryone in Pink Thunder, but this is the sssquad you have been assigned to. Thessse two are Tiny and Sssmalls,” he pointed out the two extremely tall, heavily muscled women I had seen on the plane.
“Nice to meet you,” I said shaking one of their hands.
“Yah, eet ees pleasurrre,” said one of the twins.
“And Lucy, thisss isss yourrr rrroommate, Charitine LeFleur, of the LeFleurs,” I had heard the name before. They were the leading crime family in Western Europe, based in France. From what I had heard, they were like the mafia, except more ruthless. They had compared themselves to my family as far as pure aptitude for crime. Of course, my father hated the comparisons due the LeFleurs’ nasty habit of ‘ridding’ themselves of their enemies. “Ve call herrr Chassstity, Lucy.”
I extended a hand, greeting her for a second time. “We’ve met,” I told Corleone, “but I didn’t know she was a LeFleur.”
“Eh, it’s not important,” said Chastity, slipping into a French accent that I totally was not expecting.
“Wait, on the plane you talked with an English accent,” I said, wondering what she was up to. I retracted my hand, suspicious of Chastity, I guess that showed my inexperience when Corleone gave the explanation.
“Lucy, Chassstity isss a massster of dialogue,” Corleone said. That made sense to me, I guess she blended in to her situations to make people more comfortable.
I extended my hand yet again and this time Chastity took it and shook. “It’s a pleazure,” she said, still in a French accent. At the time, I couldn’t stop thinking how amazing that sentence sounded with her accent.
**************Back at the hotel, in Lucy’s room**************
I put down my suitcase and unpacked my essentials, placing my toothbrush, hairbrush, soap and shampoo in the bathroom. I walked back to my bed and lay down, just trying to get my head on the right track. Chastity was bad news, I knew that, but my body didn’t. Maybe I’m a bit of a nymphomaniac, but I hadn’t had any release for a while, and my desire for pleasure was really starting to take over. It clouded my senses when I was around Chastity, which was why part of me really did not want to go back down to the bar, but that part had seemed to be taking a hiatus after my run-in with Amy.
As I said, I hate hotel elevators. There are usually so many people in hotels that are riding in an elevator that the elevators take an excruciatingly long amount of time to come. Since I was only on the second floor, two floors above the lobby, I decided to take the stairs. As I descended, I kept thinking to myself not to take this too far. This meeting would only be about sharing a drink with an old friend in my misery…except I knew what Chastity wanted.
Chastity was never one to actually settle anywhere, she knew what she wanted and usually got it. She would do anything to get what she wanted, including feigning love. I never really loved Chastity, at least not like I loved Amy, but when we were together I had thought that I did. I had thought she had loved me, but apparently, according to her note, she got bored with the relationship, and just decided to break it off.
So now, here I was, once again, playing a part in Chastity’s game to live for the moment and indulge in the senses. I just hoped I wouldn’t fall prey to her like I had the last time.
I finished my descent of the stairs, opened the fire door and stepped into the lobby. In the window of the bar I saw the band that was playing tonight; one of the members was on the drums, another on bass guitar, and another on an acoustic-electric guitar. Walking towards the door of the bar, I spotted Chastity through the window. She had apparently changed clothing since our encounter in the lobby. Instead of the unrevealing outfit I had seen her in earlier, she was wearing a button-down silk blouse, which was unbuttoned enough to show off a black silk bra. I gulped and walked into the restaurant to sit next to Chastity.
“Hey babe,” she said.
“Hey,” I said, while simultaneously making a conscious effort not to look at the appealing outfit she was wearing. “Um, you look nice tonight.”
“Thanks, you like? It’s something I wore especially for you.”
This forced another gulp as I heard my confirmation of her plans. Well, if I just resisted, I could stop anything that may happen, right? The only hard part would be pulling back because my body really was finding it difficult to resist. “Um, yeah, it’s a really nice blouse, Chastity.”
“I thought you’d like it. Want a drink?”
“Sure…what’re you having?”
“I’m going to have a 7&7. What about you?”
“Get me a Black Russian on the rocks.”
As she got up to head to the bar, I got a chance to listen to the band. They were actually pretty good, and they had a nice retro sound to them, with the acoustic-electric guitar they were using. They were playing Uncle Kracker’s song Follow Me. I must say that I really didn’t like the song to begin with, but the fact that it was about having an affair with someone really made me hate the song right now. Meanwhile, my brain and my body continued their tug of war about love versus pleasure. Soon Chastity came back with the drinks.
“One 7&7 for me, one Black Russian for you,” she said, placing her glass near her and handing me my glass filled with the black poison that was a mixture of vodka and Kahlúa. I could hold my liquor, but these were strong. My brain figured that this would be my only drink tonight, but knowing how my brain was faring in arguments recently, I’d have to say that I doubted it would be. “Going for the strong stuff today, Lucy? What’s happened that’s that bad?”
“It’s Amy…Chastity, I don’t know, I think we’ve broken up,” as I said those words, I swear that I could see a quick, faint glimpse of a smile on her face. Then again, maybe I was being paranoid, I had good reason to be.
“Oh, don’t worry about her, she never deserved you anyway. You need someone who knows what they want, someone who does anything they want. You don’t need a goody-two-shoes being on your case all the time. You need someone…”
I cut her off. “Someone like you? I don’t think so, Chastity. You remember the first time that happened…” I said. I knew I sure did.
**************About four years ago, Berlin, Germany**************
Come on, it’ll be fun, those were the last words Chastity had said before dragging me out to this club. Sure we had talked in the car, but those were the words that stuck in my mind as I surveyed the club, which was full of same-sex couples. Everywhere you looked, there were guys flirting with and making out with guys and girls hooking up with girls. She had taken me to a gay club…
“Chastity?! What is this place?” I asked. Well, that wasn’t really the question, I knew what this place was, but I didn’t really know why we were here.
“This is one of my favorite places to come,” she responded. “Lucy, I’m a lesbian.” I paused and I must have looked at her like a chicken with its head cut off because she quickly came back with another comment. “Lucy…you must have been able to figure it out by now, right?” she asked, laughing maybe a bit mockingly.
“How? How could I have figured it out?” I asked. I mean, she had never taken any girls up to our room…well, then again, she never had taken any boys up there either.
“Lucy, how many pictures of girls do I have in my room?”
“You mean your sisters?” I assumed that was who they were. She had told me that she had three sisters, and there were a bunch of pictures featuring the same three girls in our room. Granted, they looked nothing like Chastity really, but maybe I was naïve.
“Lucy, those aren’t sisters. They’re my ex-girlfriends.”
“Oh,” I said, looking down. “But why are you taking me here?”
“Well, I noticed you don’t put any posters of guys up in your room, you have no pictures of ex-boyfriends…”
“Yeah, well maybe I just haven’t met Mr. Right!” I quipped, although I wasn’t sure why. I actually felt kind of comfortable here, but that in itself was discomforting to me. “It doesn’t mean I’m a…” I leaned in close to whisper, “it doesn’t mean I’m a lesbian.”
“Lucy, do you find guys attractive?” she asked. It was a valid question.
“Um…not really…but they’re not bad looking,” I responded.
“And what do you think about girls?”
“Well, they’re nicer to look at,” I responded, blushing. “Chastity, I’m not a lesbian!”
“Lucy, it’s alright to admit you like women, it’s not a crime,” she said. True, it wasn’t a crime, but she hadn’t been raised in my family. My father, despite being a crook, was a religious jewel thief, and not in the sense that he stole religiously, he was a total Pat Robertson-subscribing member of the Christian Right. If Chastity was right, and I thought she may be, that I was a lesbian, I didn’t even want to think about my father’s reaction to that.
“Chastity…I can’t be here…maybe you’re right, but I just don’t know,” I said, entirely confused. I had no idea what I wanted. I found Chastity to be an extremely attractive woman, but did that mean that I was a complete lesbian? And what if my dad found out? I’d no longer be the heir to the Reynolds Crime Syndicate; my father would renounce me as his heir apparent.
“Alright, let’s go,” she said, dejectedly, looking me in the eye. Man, was she a good manipulator I thought as she made she feel incredibly guilty.
“I guess I could stay,” I responded as a grin grew on her face.
“Good, I thought you would.”
**************Back at the hotel, in the bar**************
“So anyway, I was thinking about how much more effective Pink Thunder could be if it had the right leader,” Chastity said. I had been toning her out, listening to the band as they played Jet’s hit song Shine On. Listening to the lyrics, I was reminded of the domestic situation I was in right now with Amy.
Please don't cry
You know I'm leaving here tonight
Before I go I want you to know that there will always be a light
And if the moon had to runaway
And all the stars didn't wanna play
Don't waste the sun on a rainy day
The wind will soon blow it all away
So many times I planned
To be much more than who I am
And if I let you down I will follow you 'round until you understand
That if the moon had to runaway
And all the stars didn't wanna play
Don't waste the sun on a rainy day
The wind will soon blow it all away
When the days all feel the same
Don't feel the cold or wind or rain
Everything will be okay
We will meet again one day
And I will shine on, for everyone
So please don't cry
Although I leave you here this night
Where I go how far I don't know
But I will always be your light
That if the moon had to runaway
And all the stars didn't wanna play
Don't waste the sun on a rainy day
The wind will soon blow it all away
When the days all seem the same
Don't feel the cold or wind or rain
Everything will be okay
We will meet again one day
I will shine on, for everyone
Shine on, for everyone
When the stars all look the same
Don't feel the cold or wind or rain
Everything will be okay
We will meet again one day
I will shine on, for everyone
Shine on, for everyone
Just listening to the heartbroken lyrics of the song was enough to show me just how heartbroken I was about losing Amy. The part that struck me the hardest were the lyrics that went “So many times I planned to be much more than who I am, and if I let you down I will follow you 'round until you understand.” Maybe that was the path I should take. I definitely should hold onto her as long as I could. Hopefully she’d understand how much it had hurt me to lie to her. Still, as much as I wanted to call Amy and tell her that I should have trusted her enough to tell her, I was still mad at her. I was the one at fault, and I couldn’t tell the woman I loved that I was sorry. I was pathetic.
“Lucy?, Lucy?!, Are you even listening?” Chastity asked.
I had heard something about Corleone, and her comment that someone more competent would make a better leader, but I had tuned out the rest. “Huh?” I asked.
“Never mind. It’s lost on you, anyway.”
“What’s that about?”
“Well, you wouldn’t listen to me anyway. You haven’t been very respectful of me since I’ve been back. I thought we had cleared all of that up in Reykjavik, when I found you there.”
“Yeah,” I said, hanging my head. “I’m not really that mad at you anymore about breaking up, but…” I trailed off. I couldn’t bring myself to admit the real reason. I couldn’t tell her that I had been acting like a jerk because I was afraid that I still had feelings for her.
“I think I know why…and Lucy, it’s alright, I still have feelings for you too,” oh shit…I sometimes felt like she could read my mind, and at this point in time, that was definitely not what I had wanted.
“It’s not…” I trailed off. I wanted to tell her that it simply wasn’t true. I wanted to tell her that she had it all wrong, that I had no feelings for her anymore, but lying had gotten me into a lot of trouble, and I wasn’t feeling like lying again. That and I realized as I finished my Black Russian that I was feeling the effects of the alcohol a bit.
“Yes it is Lucy, I know that’s the reason. Your voice may argue otherwise, but your eyes give you away. I read people for a living, Lucy. Want another drink?”
“Yeah, get me a mojito?”
“Sure thing,” she said as she left the table. I folded my arms on the table and rested my head on them. What was I doing here? I thought I had learned my lesson a long time ago.
**************About four years ago, Paris, France**************
It was supposed to be a simple mission. The mission had been to infiltrate the Louvre and clean up as much as we could carry. Still bearing the honorary position of “the new girl,” I was the getaway driver. I wasn’t supposed to set foot in the Louvre at all. Well, at least that was the plan.
It was this mission that reminded me what they say about the best-laid plans of mice and men, as Tiny and Smalls came running back to the car. “What happened guys?” I asked.
“Move like vind!” Tiny shouted. I had been about to ask where Chastity was, until I realized that Tiny had actually used a simile that did not involve the word ‘bear.’
“Wow, Tiny…” I started, but was interrupted by Smalls.
“You mean, move like bearrr.”
“Oh, yah,” replied Tiny.
“Guys, where’s Chastity?” I asked.
“She still in building. Alarm go off and she still inside,” Smalls explained. At that point, I knew I had to go into the building, not necessarily to prove myself, but to save Chastity. I flung open the door and ran to the Louvre entrance, which was still unlocked.
I ran into the lobby and found Chastity. A security guard stood behind her, holding a gun that he was pressing into the back of her head. He glared at me. “So,” he said to Chastity, “this one of your friends? She come to rob the place with you?”
“What if she is?” Chastity answered.
“Well, the cops will have some extra work to do then.”
“Chastity,” I said, “are you ok?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” she winked and looked down at my belt. She knew I wasn’t into killing, and because of that, whereas other agents carried a .45 caliber handgun, I carried a tranquilizer gun, which I felt for and quickly drew, firing before the security guard even had a chance. I had learned how to quickly fire from Chastity.
With the guard down, Chastity ran over to me and put an arm around me. “Thank you, Lucy,” she said as she hugged me. The hug felt amazing. As I was becoming more and more involved in the group, I had begun to accept who I was; no longer was I a little touchy about the subject.
I didn’t even have a problem when she twirled me around so that I faced her and kissed me. It was electric. I had never really had a kiss like this before. Many nights I had found myself wondering how Chastity would feel to hold, to kiss, but nothing could have prepared me for that moment.
With that kiss, with that mind-numbingly good feeling, I realized that I had found myself. I wasn’t straight, nor did I like men…as much as I had not wanted to admit it before…I was a lesbian, and I was hers.
**************Back in the bar**************
That night was one of the best nights of my life. Although everything else about the relationship turned out horribly, that night I had made the biggest decision and discovery I had ever made. After we got back to headquarters, Chastity and I fell into bed together instantly. It was the first time I had ever been intimate with anyone, and I let her take my virginity. As Chastity brought me the mojito I had ordered, I realized that maybe that was the reason I felt such a strong connection to her. Perhaps I felt compelled towards her because she deflowered me. I was reminded of the Cat Stevens song - The First Cut is the Deepest, and realized for the first time how true those lyrics were.
“So,” Chastity began, “let’s get back to how you want me.”
Oh, God, not this subject again, I thought to myself. “Chastity, I…don’t…want…you,” I said, thoroughly unconvincing. If I couldn’t even manage to convince myself, how could I manage to convince Chastity?
“That’s alright,” Chastity said, putting a hand on mine, “as I said, I want you too.” She started to lean in for a kiss.
Shit! I had a split second decision to make, and it was one my body and mind were wrestling over, the same decision they’d been wrestling over from the time I saw Chastity in the restaurant. It was a tug-of-war, a struggle between pleasure and love. It was a battle won by pleasure as I leaned into Chastity and kissed the lips that I had known so well. Her mouth opened, and her tongue sought entrance into my mouth. Once again, my brain sent signals to my mouth to stop what I was doing and not to go any further; these signals must have been interrupted by my body’s yearning, however, as I obliged and granted the entrance her tongue sought.
Stop it! This is wrong…this is SO wrong. Finally, something my brain was telling me got through, and I broke the kiss, jumping up from the table. “Um…Chastity, I really need to go to the bathroom,” I said, leaving my drink and my bag, and walking away as quickly as I could, receiving stares from eager males as I made my way to the bathroom.
I opened the door, entered a stall and just sat on the toilet seating, trying to think, trying to clear my mind. Not only was I being used right now, I was being unfaithful to the only girl who I truly loved, the girl I had given up everything to be with…the girl who I’d give everything up for all over again if I had to. And what was I giving her up for - a quick fix? It was wrong to Amy, and it was wrong for me, I realized. Listening from the bathroom, the band started a new song, this time that sparked memories of Chastity; this time, they were playing Bon Jovi’s You Give Love a Bad Name.
Shot through the heart
And you're to blame
Darling you give love a bad name
An angel's smile is what you sell
You promise me heaven, then put me through hell
Chains of love got a hold on me
When passion's a prison, you can't break free
You're a loaded gun
There's nowhere to run
No one can save me
The damage is done
Shot through the heart
And you're to blame
You give love a bad name
I play my part and you play your game
You give love a bad name
You give love a bad name
Paint your smile on your lips
Blood red nails on your fingertips
A school boy's dream, you act so shy
Your very first kiss was your first kiss goodbye
You're a loaded gun
There's nowhere to run
No one can save me
The damage is done
Shot through the heart
And you're to blame
You give love a bad name
I play my part and you play your game
You give love a bad name
You give love a bad name
For about a year, Chastity and I continued our relationship, all the while I thought that we were in love. True, looking back, I was a bit naïve, and I guess I was a prisoner of the physical passion that we shared, but it turned out to be all a game for her where she was the master and I the player. Of course, none of this became even slightly clear to me until I had decided to quit Pink Thunder, after my father’s death and the imprisonment of the Schaeffers.
**************Three Years Ago, Berlin**************
I was packing my bags and leaving the group today, my father had died, and I had made a deal with Corleone to get the Schaeffers out of the way; there was only one piece of business left unresolved. I really wanted Chastity to come along with me. I was convinced that I was in love with her, and, even though she often seemed distant, I was convinced that she was in love with me. At the time, I was sitting on our bed and looking up at my girlfriend.
“Chastity…you know I have to leave Pink Thunder, it’s always been the plan to take over the family syndicate after my father’s death, and now’s the time.” I looked at her, trying to express the feelings I was deluding myself with, “Please come with me, it would mean the world having you with me, we could rule the crime world together.”
“Lucy…no I won’t. Do you think I want to leave here? I’m in line to replace Corleone the same way you’re replacing your father. Why would I leave?”
I was struck by her answer. “Well, I thought you would leave because you love me.”
“Lucy, I care about you, but no. If I do this, I won’t be the head, I’ll be the lackey, and I don’t want to be the lackey for the rest of time.
“Chastity, you won’t ever be my lackey,” I tried to explain. “We’d be partners here. You and I both would be in charge of the Reynolds Crime Syndicate.”
“No we wouldn’t, you’d still be the real head of the organization. And you’ve got one thing right - I’ll never be your lackey. If anything, I would be in charge of Pink Thunder and you’d be my lackey!”
“Chastity, why the hell are you acting this way?” I asked, surprised at the confidence I had gained in the short period of our relationship.
“I’m acting this way because I’ll never be happy being subservient, and if you want me to be subservient, I’ll never be happy with you!”
“Damn it, Chastity! Are you even listening to me? I said you wouldn’t be subservient; we’d be partners!”
“I don’t want to be partners either. I’m not going, and that’s it.”
“Chastity…” I sighed. As I left the room, I had no idea that would be one of the last straws of our relationship.
**************Back in the bar**************
The band had started to play a new song, and once again, it seemed to have a lot to do with my life. I wondered whether they were reading my mind, or what…or, maybe it was just me…maybe I was just reading too much into the lyrics, and they kept reminding me how screwed I was right now. The song they were playing now was Meatloaf’s classic Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad.
I want you
I need you
But there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you
Now don't be sad
'Cause two out of three ain't bad
The song was extremely poignant for my old relationship with Chastity. I may have thought that there was love in the relationship, but at that time, I didn’t know what true love was, and soon after the fight we had about her coming with me to be partners, I found out her true feelings for me…
**************Three Years Ago, Los Angeles, California**************
Chastity and I had continued to see each other sporadically whenever she had the chance to visit the states. She still refused to leave Pink Thunder and come with me to control the Reynolds Crime Syndicate, but that didn’t mean I didn’t want to see her.
Now, exactly a year after the Louvre mission on that fateful Tuesday night, it was our anniversary. Once again, I planned to ask her to stay in the states, and she had hinted that she was getting closer to actually staying the last time I had seen her. Perhaps on as special an occasion as this she might say yes. At least that was what I had thought.
I had gotten us reservations for a very nice restaurant, Les Deux Amores, and had told her about the date, but it was an hour and a half into the evening and she still hadn’t shown. At this point I was past the point of worrying about her and was close to panicking. I didn’t know if she was stuck in traffic, had gotten into an accident, or had been apprehended. The one thing I didn’t count on was that she could even possibly be blowing me off.
A man wearing an Australian brimmed hat walked into the restaurant, and, to my surprise, he sat next to me. “G’day mate!” he said, with maybe a little too much enthusiasm. “Ma name’s Hunter. Ya Miss Lucy, mate?”
“Yeah?” I responded, a little apprehensively…who was this guy?
“Ah, soorry mate, but Chastity’s not comin’. Shai sent me. ‘Ere, this’s for ya,” he handed me an envelop closed by and bearing the LeFleur seal on the back. “G’day!”
Those Australians, they really got on my nerve, but I really didn’t have any problems with them, I just didn’t like their attitudes. I opened the letter, a little upset at his saying that Chastity wasn’t coming, why wouldn’t she?
Dear Lucy,
I think we’ve gotten a little too involved here. You see, I’m not really a person to get attached. I’ve never loved someone in my life, and even though you think you love me, I know you really don’t. You’re just too attached to me to see this right now and I need to end it.
I get bored easily in relationships and I’m at that point now with you and once I get bored, I act, and that’s what I’m doing now.
We’re over Lucy.
Love,
Chastity
PS - Can I have my gun back?
Forget that comment I made about not hating Australians…I hated them alright. Australia was toast
**************Back in the bar**************
What was with this band??? Every song they played reminded me of myself. Now they were playing one of Simon and Garfunkel’s most classic songs, I Am A Rock. They played it more like a rock song than the acoustic folksy song it was, which I definitely didn’t like - you don’t mess with classics that way. Anyway, I guess I had never realized the real meaning of this song before I heard the lyrics this time, when the meaning hit me.
A winter's day
In a deep and dark December
I am alone
Gazing from my window
To the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow
I am a rock
I am an island
I've built walls
A fortress deep and mighty
That none may penetrate
I have no need for friendship
Friendship causes pain
It's laughter and it's loving I disdain.
I am a rock
I am an island
Don't talk of love
Well, I've heard the word before
It's sleeping in my memory
I won't disturb the slumber
Of feelings that have died
If I'd never loved,
I never would have cried
I am a rock
I am an island
I have my books
And my poetry to protect me
I am shielded in my armor
Hiding in my room
Safe within my womb
I touch no one and no one touches me
I am a rock
I am an island
And a rock feels no pain
And an island never cries
I had always thought the point of the song was that Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel were saying that they didn’t actually need anyone, but now I saw the song in an entirely new light. They weren’t saying that they were rocks and islands; they were making a point that they acted that way and found out that they weren’t.
Then it struck me - that’s the way I was acting with Amy. Like the song, I had built walls, a fortress deep and mighty, that none could penetrate, and that was wrong. I shouldn’t have done that. I thought that I had been shielded in my armor, and that as long as I hid in my room, safe within my womb, that if I touched no one, no one would touch me either. The problem was, that notion was dead wrong. Amy had touched me, and I had apparently touched her, and we were feeling the mutual pain of the betrayal of that connection. I had thought that I was a rock, that I was an island, but I felt pain, I had cried. I wasn’t really an island. I had decided to call Amy, let her know that I wanted to work things out, and go back to the bar and call the night off with Chastity. Yes, that was what I would do.
It was a simple idea, but apparently one that was very hard to put into practice, I found, once I had walked back to the table and sat down. I mean, I still had a full mojito to drink; I couldn’t leave that, could I? So I drank a few sips of the mojito, tasting the lime and mint mixture that I loved so much, all the while trying to avoid eye contact with Chastity. Unfortunately, maybe that had been the wrong decision, as the ground my brain had gained in the battle against my body, the gain that love had made against desire was dissipating…
---------------------
Amy’s POV
I was in my bed, still thinking about how to best reconcile things with Lucy, when I heard the beeping noise my cell phone emits whenever I get a text message. Looking at the phone number from whose phone the text message was sent, I saw that it was Lucy.
Amy Im sorry. Im @ El Hotel Nacional Espanol de Barcelona in rm 209. Pleez come.
“Scud!” I called to Scud, who was sleeping in the guest room across the room.
“Uhhh…huh?” he sounded like he had been asleep.
“Scud, come here!”
“Ah geez! I was having the best dream.” Scud complained as he walked into my room, rubbing his red eyes. “Can’t a guy get any sleep around here?”
“Scud, Lucy just sent me a text message.”
“She did? What’d it say?”
“It said to meet her at this hotel she was staying at - El Hotel Nacional Español de Barcelona. I’m still kind of emotional, so if you don’t mind, could you drive me?”
“Yeah, sure…just let me wake up fully and get dressed,” he said as he disappeared back into the hall and his room.
A couple minutes later we were in the car, headed down to meet Lucy at the hotel.
---------------------
Lucy’s POV
The alcohol must have been really working on me, although normally I could hold my alcohol like a three hundred pound weightlifter. Usually, I could out-drink Tiny or Smalls, but today it seemed like I was having trouble holding my alcohol at all. I was actually talking with Chastity, although I really wasn’t sure what it was about, all I could think about was how good she was looking right now.
Not long after I finished my mojito, she leaned in for another kiss, and I obliged, my tongue seeking entrance to Chastity’s mouth. She broke the kiss and kissed me around my chin and neck before I pushed her away.
“Chastity, people are staring!” I admonished. It was true, well, mostly it was guys, who were drooling at the thought of these two “hot” girls hooking up.
“Why don’t we go up to your room?” Chastity asked.
If I was thinking, I knew the right thing to say would have been No! Absolutely not! I had just made the decision to work things out with Amy, but I was having trouble thinking, though, at least comprehensible thoughts. I couldn’t even try to think anything in a complete thought process. The only thing I could think about was how good she would make me feel, and how I needed this. My mind slid into the background in the fight against my body, and love had succumbed to passion as I took her hand and led her out of the bar.
---------------------
Hello, Hello
I'm at a place called Vertigo
It's everything I wish I didn't know
Except you give me something
I can feel, feel
---------------------
Yes, maybe the band was just an excuse to put more song lyrics in there…
Please do not mind that this chapter is about half as long as everything else combined.
~Dan
Next Chapter: Heartbreak http://laharlthedemon.livejournal.com/2534.html