*hugs* Sweety I know how you feel. I was used to being surrounded by people, I worked at the library where there was always someone interesting to talk to and I had time to write. Now I'm lucky if I have a decent conversation with a human being that doesn't involve me pretending to have a high pitch voice. And you're a Gemini, you thrive on witty banter and deep conversations. And right now the Kinglet is seriously plucking on all your nerves. I wish things were different for you. I wish and pray with all my heart for you to be as happy as you wish to be. I'm here for you.
Maybe you need to give yourself time to adjust to all of this. There's a lot to process. I love my daughter but I really was unhappy when I started looking after her. Now, 7 month (to the day) down the line, I have made my peace with the ups and downs of being a stay-at-home mum. There are still bad days but now I get over them quicker. I felt just the same, like I was intrinsically unhappy. As it turns out, I'm not. Also, I think you've had a history of depression. So did I. My psychiatrist told me that when we get down we tend to relive the hard time because our bodies - not just our mind, she did say bodies - keep a memory of all of this. The good news is that we know how to deal with it all. There's so much we carry around as individuals but when you're a mum you carry your little one's worries and anxieties too. Give yourself time. You're doing extremely well. I mean, you do manage to write and you're re-doing your son's bedroom and you have a part-time job, etc. You are doing a lot! Hope the unhappiness lifts up soon. *hugs*
Funny thing about momming... people have the notion that it will bring the ultimate peace and joy. If you're struggling, you're probably doing it right. It isn't a peaceful job, this mothering thing. It really isn't. It is anger and stress and worry and here and there, there are moments of pure bliss- usually sandwiched in between extreme moments of goodlordletmecounttoteninsteadofchokingthelifefromthischild!!
Happiness in general though? I'm wondering about that one myself these days.
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I love you chica, it'll be ok.
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I felt just the same, like I was intrinsically unhappy. As it turns out, I'm not. Also, I think you've had a history of depression. So did I. My psychiatrist told me that when we get down we tend to relive the hard time because our bodies - not just our mind, she did say bodies - keep a memory of all of this. The good news is that we know how to deal with it all. There's so much we carry around as individuals but when you're a mum you carry your little one's worries and anxieties too.
Give yourself time. You're doing extremely well. I mean, you do manage to write and you're re-doing your son's bedroom and you have a part-time job, etc. You are doing a lot!
Hope the unhappiness lifts up soon.
*hugs*
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Happiness in general though? I'm wondering about that one myself these days.
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--Glenn
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