Why I Keep Going

[ladysprite]

So I've been going through some rough stuff lately, and it's been taking a while to get better. Which is a nice way of saying.... it really hasn't been getting better. And so I woke up today pretty much the same way I have for the past almost-month - nauseated, nightmare-shaken, and sincerely wishing I could just cease existing instead of facing

Comments

[browngirl]

I am SO glad you had this experience. you deserve all happiness.

*hugs you encouragingly*

[evcelt]

It's good to get reminders like that...

[vettecat]

Yay for happy moments!

[johnpalmer]

I'm glad you had a good reminder of how good and important you are. And I'm sorry you're having such rough times. Is there anything I can do to help? Gifts I could give, listening I could do, comfort I could provide?

With your consent, I'd journey to stake out your spiritscape and post a warning sign - or for another purpose.

(ETA: the warning sign would say "Don't come any closer if you have any will but good will toward my friend. Trust me on this...." Time the spirits of gentleness, healing, love, and joy had some uninterrupted time to work with you, and you with them.)

[ladysprite]

.....would you please? That would be very welcome and helpful right now.

I keep trying to get better and things keep getting harder. I'll take any help I can get.

And thank you. I love you.

[johnpalmer]

It will be done - if you've seen my recent LJ, you know why it didn't happen this weekend. Tonight, I hope, or tomorrow. I love you, too, darlin'.

(Updated: done on Wednesday and a report was mailed to your gmail address. I'm mentioning it here just in case it sends notifications to another e-mail address, and you hadn't checked gmail in a few days. I'm now feeling a bit nervous - I'm not trying to prod you to respond, a response wasn't required, you have no reason to feel badly over not, *but* my own baggage made me nervous that maybe you hadn't see it.)

[ladysprite]

I'm sorry I didn't answer sooner - I did get it; I'm just.... honestly? Dealing with a full-fledged nervous breakdown. My therapist pulled me out of work and put me on more-or-less house arrest because I fell apart badly enough to be completely non-functional. It's taken me most of a week to get back to a point where I can do much beyond lie on the couch and cry; and this is all to do with stuff that you ran into on your journey.

I'm working through it; I just need a little more time to process what you wrote. Thank you, though; it will be incredibly helpful when I'm ready....