[Brigit's Flame] A Sleeping Fire

[ladypoetess]

This week's brigits_flame topic is ember. I returned to Murta's story in my temple stories universe for this one, since it fit very well and allowed me to move the story forward to where I'd been hoping it would go. Not strictly necessary, but probably helpful if you look back at the other temple stories parts, at least the 2nd and 3rd parts, those dealing with

Comments

[unnameduntamed]

Favourite line from this piece;
"You are a sleeping fire, lady, and it would be a deep sorrow to see that die for lack of tending"
Wonderful.

[yuunaluna]

First of all, fantasy nut that I am, this was right up my alley, and I really enjoyed reading it. You've got some really compelling characters in there, and the overall tone of your writing hits the right cord. I'm kind of crazy about names though and I was wondering what led you to name your heroine (at least that's what I assume she is from this snippet) Murta. When I read her name, words such as murder, marauder, and murky came to mind, and then when I look at her character, she's none of the above. Does Murta have some special meaning that inspired you to use it? I'm really curious, because she's such a great character, but her name kinda threw me for a doozy.

[ladypoetess]

There's 2 other parts that concern Murta - which is what everyone calls her as short for Murtada. It is Arabic for "traitor" and was the word her father called her when he cast her out. Her original, real name is Nawra - Arabic for "flower." In a flash back in the first part of Murta's story, you see when & why her father cast her out and why he named her traitor, and in the second part of her story, Mother Mai talks about hoping that she will one day reclaim her birth name of Nawra. :)

All the names in these stories (except for Diana, Elise, and Ara) are from specific cultures/languages and are indicative of the girls' cultural backgrounds - so you can see, I'm a bit nuts for names, too. :D

[yuunaluna]

the name makes muchmuch more sense now, and it makes for a great background story. glad to see i'm not the only name fanatic out there!

Editor!

[silverflight8]

First things: I'm sorry 'bout being late. I totally forgot about the edit. (Since you requested a gentle edit, I've only done general comments. If you'd like a line-by-line sort of editing where I quote your stuff at you and offer suggestion, just drop me a note

Re: Editor!

[ladypoetess]

-Yep, anyone could, which is why Murta saw the subtle movement as people (specifically the bard, Yaron) turned to look at her when Avani called out to her.

-Murta is 17 and views Avani as very young, very childish and so yes, gets quite condescending with her. :)

-Thanks. :)

-Are you talking about this line? Murta walked to the center of the circle and gazed into the tiny wisps of flames that still hid within the wood on the fire, dancing along the glowing coals.

-Again, thank you.

-I'll see what I can do with it.

-Yep, that was the intent. She is exotic and looks wildly different from almost everyone else except Avani. The background that's only implied through descriptions and names is that Murta is from an Arabic-type culture, Avani is from something like southern India, Mai is essentially Japanese, and the rest are from 'the northern islands' - modeled after the British Isles. I was specifically trying to call attention to how different she is, and how much her growing up in the culture she did and then moving to one so

Re: Editor!

[silverflight8]

-Yes, the quoted sentences is what I'm talking about.

Were you around/a participant of the SF/F racefail in 2009? ( Rydra_wong compiled an absolutely mind boggling set of links. Be warned, the racism is truly sickening: tread carefully.)

Exoticism: basically, a trivialising of another, different culture and its people--seeing them as objects, or only superficial details. A LOT of Western writers fall into this: where the author has only got the "ooh, that's cool and so different and shiny" part, and merely objects of curiousity, not people/cultures of their own.
Try a google search for cultural appropriation (searching exoticism brings up a lot of music history). It is a big topic and is tied with cultural appropriation (I think you said you're from America? The treatment of Native Americans' culture is pretty much cultural appropriation exemplified.)

Re: Editor!

[ladypoetess]

I wasn't around or a part of it, and I can see trivializing being an issue, but I don't believe I'm doing that here. This is the 4th installment in this universe, and through each part I've threaded the idea that each of the girls is from a different culture, despite being part of this one temple environment. As I'm developing the universe, the distinctions between the backgrounds of each girl are becoming more and more distinct. At the moment, I'm focusing on Murta's story, but I could just as easily have focused on Assa (would be from Ireland) and how she talks and behaves differently from the girls from the lower islands. Previous editors have zinged me for explaining too much, so I'm trying to leave a lot of this to inferences in the background rather than direct exposition. Perhaps I'm not striking enough of a balance if I'm coming off as trivializing the culture that Murta is from - though this is a fantasy and something of an alternate reality, based on this world, but not actually in it. I'm using specific languages as the

[mullvaney]

Hi! I'm one of your editors for this piece. I liked this; your temple society is fully realized, despite the brevity of the piece. I had no problem figuring out that these girls were sort of apprentices, but were also involved in some sort of novitiate. It is also easy to see that each girl has a distinct personality, which you show quite nicely, with a good lack of adjectives :D

[ladypoetess]

Thanks for the edit!

Murta is pretty terrified, she's just incredibly good at remaining outwardly stoic. :) It's not part of the temple culture to be around men much, but it's not forbidden as it is in Murta's original culture. This leaves Murta terrified and uncomfortable around Yaron, while the other girls are mostly curious.

If you click the 'temple stories' tag, you'll find 3 other pieces in this universe, the first of which is where it originated, with the character of Diana, a tale-spinner and storyteller. If you have any thoughts on previous bits in this universe, I'd love to hear them!