A Brawl of Brians
The last few days have been spent adventuring in Westeros. Food wise, I had good intentions that crumbled shamefully quickly in the face of lemon cakes and beef and bacon pies. Game wise, I had good intentions that shamefully crumbled in the face of too many 1s. However, we did manage to use most of the various sails and figureheads that I spent the last few weekends making. Pictures below the cut.
Last time we adventured, back in July, we ended up running desperately from a field of bloody slaughter on the shore next to an encampment on Skagos, during which everyone with a name survived, but 25 random Bolton redshirts died. Licking our wounds, this time we decided to go and recruit some allies.
We had two boats to our name. Here they are in all their glory.
You might observe that one is a rather nice cog, proudly bearing the arms of our own modest but noble house. The other is a captured pirate longship. We were sailing into territory that has recently been raided and raided and raided again by scary pirates in longships. Did we thus sail in our nice respectable cog? No, we sailed in in our pirate ship, confident that an airy "Fear not, peasants!" would stop them throwing bricks at us.
It didn't.
Failing to recruit allies from the people who were cowering in terror in their houses and castles, we decided to visit the Night's Watch. However, learning that our contact was out and wouldn't be back until tomorrow, we shrugged and decided to go and take on the pirates without their help. This involved sneaking. Unfortunately, it also involved standing up and saying "Hello!" when a guard wandered nearby, muttering, "I think I heard something... No, it was probably just a rat."
This was not a good idea.
After a hectic time of captivity, mild torture, slave-kissing, bullying and fighting, we retreated. A few of us managed to kill weak bad guys. A bouncy spaniel managed to carry a fluent message of warning and trip up a fierce bad guy. At this point, we had to conclude that the most successful member of our party was an NPC dog.
This was not encouraging.
Having failed at sneaking, we decided to Unite the Brians and get them to provide cannon fodder lay aside their difference in order to ally with us against the common enemy. The Brians are the lords of Skagos, who probably have names and personalities of their own, but have been reduced to a state of generic Brianness due to their resemblance to Brian Blessed. In order to Unite the Brians against the slavers and pirates who have been attacking them for months, it seemed like a very good idea to stroll up to their shores in our captured longship which was cunningly disguised to look even more like a pirate ship than normal.
This was not a good idea.
Narrowly escaping from the hurled rocks, we decided to disguise ourself as innocent fishermen and return for another go. Here we are, cunningly disguised as innocent fishermen. I'm sure you'll all agree that the resemblance is uncanny.
The fishing did not go well, since none of us knew how to do it, and it turned out that "how hard could it be?" had the answer "very." However, enough fish-like things were caught that we managed to persuade this Brian of our good intentions by heroically waving a diplomatic fish at him, while shouting "We've got fish!" This was the result of One Good Die Roll of the Island of Skagos.
Unfortunately, Brian Number One, Please failed to help us, so we decided to visit Brian Number Two, and got almost to his front door before we remembered that we'd got proof last July that he was a Bad Brian in league with the slavers, so we suddenly remembered that we'd left the gas on at home, and vanished sharply. Enemies chased, but rolled 1s.
However, Brian Number Three, Please gave us an army of a hundred Brians, which allowed us to launch a night-time assault on the camp of slavers. Battle ensued. Slaves were rescued. Many Brians killed many men. However, two teenage boys on a school trip killed more than anyone else.
This was embarrassing.
While the Brians were fighting, our sneaky people sneaked into the baddy tower, and rescued a girl.
Briefly.
So the end of the weekend saw us running desperately from a field of bloody slaughter in the woods next to an encampment on Skagos, during which everyone with a name survived, but quite a lot of Brianical redshirts died.
This is called progress, children.
Last time we adventured, back in July, we ended up running desperately from a field of bloody slaughter on the shore next to an encampment on Skagos, during which everyone with a name survived, but 25 random Bolton redshirts died. Licking our wounds, this time we decided to go and recruit some allies.
We had two boats to our name. Here they are in all their glory.
You might observe that one is a rather nice cog, proudly bearing the arms of our own modest but noble house. The other is a captured pirate longship. We were sailing into territory that has recently been raided and raided and raided again by scary pirates in longships. Did we thus sail in our nice respectable cog? No, we sailed in in our pirate ship, confident that an airy "Fear not, peasants!" would stop them throwing bricks at us.
It didn't.
Failing to recruit allies from the people who were cowering in terror in their houses and castles, we decided to visit the Night's Watch. However, learning that our contact was out and wouldn't be back until tomorrow, we shrugged and decided to go and take on the pirates without their help. This involved sneaking. Unfortunately, it also involved standing up and saying "Hello!" when a guard wandered nearby, muttering, "I think I heard something... No, it was probably just a rat."
This was not a good idea.
After a hectic time of captivity, mild torture, slave-kissing, bullying and fighting, we retreated. A few of us managed to kill weak bad guys. A bouncy spaniel managed to carry a fluent message of warning and trip up a fierce bad guy. At this point, we had to conclude that the most successful member of our party was an NPC dog.
This was not encouraging.
Having failed at sneaking, we decided to Unite the Brians and get them to provide cannon fodder lay aside their difference in order to ally with us against the common enemy. The Brians are the lords of Skagos, who probably have names and personalities of their own, but have been reduced to a state of generic Brianness due to their resemblance to Brian Blessed. In order to Unite the Brians against the slavers and pirates who have been attacking them for months, it seemed like a very good idea to stroll up to their shores in our captured longship which was cunningly disguised to look even more like a pirate ship than normal.
This was not a good idea.
Narrowly escaping from the hurled rocks, we decided to disguise ourself as innocent fishermen and return for another go. Here we are, cunningly disguised as innocent fishermen. I'm sure you'll all agree that the resemblance is uncanny.
The fishing did not go well, since none of us knew how to do it, and it turned out that "how hard could it be?" had the answer "very." However, enough fish-like things were caught that we managed to persuade this Brian of our good intentions by heroically waving a diplomatic fish at him, while shouting "We've got fish!" This was the result of One Good Die Roll of the Island of Skagos.
Unfortunately, Brian Number One, Please failed to help us, so we decided to visit Brian Number Two, and got almost to his front door before we remembered that we'd got proof last July that he was a Bad Brian in league with the slavers, so we suddenly remembered that we'd left the gas on at home, and vanished sharply. Enemies chased, but rolled 1s.
However, Brian Number Three, Please gave us an army of a hundred Brians, which allowed us to launch a night-time assault on the camp of slavers. Battle ensued. Slaves were rescued. Many Brians killed many men. However, two teenage boys on a school trip killed more than anyone else.
This was embarrassing.
While the Brians were fighting, our sneaky people sneaked into the baddy tower, and rescued a girl.
Briefly.
So the end of the weekend saw us running desperately from a field of bloody slaughter in the woods next to an encampment on Skagos, during which everyone with a name survived, but quite a lot of Brianical redshirts died.
This is called progress, children.
