Stumbling Towards the Dawn - Part 15
Title: Stumbling Towards the Dawn - Part 15
Word Count: 2,330
Rating: M
Disclaimer: Not mine ... just playing.
Spoilers: To LDYB Part II - Everything is definitely AU from the moment the Cylons flew over.
Summary: When Cloud Nine is destroyed, it attracted the attention of not only the Cylons.
Author's Note: This is a crossover fic, with David Weber's Mutineer's Moon - Fifth Imperium universe, but I don't think that you need to know the universe of this trilogy of novels to get it. Hopefully, it's explained well enough in the story.
As the Imperial transport approached the sphere of the moon-sized ship, William Adama could not help the primal fear that welled up in him … the greatest fear of every ancient mariner--to be swallowed up by some great leviathan from the deeps.
Yet it was as fleeting as a daydream in the face of the nightmare that had driven him from his ship and onto the first transport carrying wounded from Galactica to Emperor Herdan. Harriet MacIntyre’s face had conveyed eloquently everything those three words “we’ve found her” could not. For the first time in over forty years, his soul did not belong to the ship he served. For the first time since he’d taken command of Galactica, his first duty was not to her. So he’d turned her over with almost indecent haste to Kelly's care and raced to the flight deck.
He wondered now what that said about him. When his former wives had needed him … when his two boys had needed during their formative years, he’d chosen duty over them. As the cavernous docking bay swallowed the tiny minnow of his transport, he decided that perhaps it was simply time.
This was the second time he’d nearly lost Laura before he could tell her how much he loved her, and he knew instinctively that he’d run out of reprieves. It was time to choose where he wanted to stand for the rest of his life.
He was still lost in thought when a young Imperial officer cleared her throat politely. “Admiral Adama?” she said. “We’ve docked, sir--” He looked at her in surprise; he hadn’t felt a thing. “If you’ll follow me, Fleet Captain MacIntyre is waiting to escort you, sir.”
William nodded, rose and followed her, past the medics unloading their patients with quiet efficiency, to the second exit at the rear of the transport. As he left the transport, his first impression was of the impossible vastness of the bustling docking bay; three Battlestars could easily fit inside. His second impression was that Harriet MacIntyre was much taller than he’d expected--not nearly as tall as Azuka Riddick perhaps, but still a head taller than his own average height.
“Admiral Adama,” she said warmly as she clasped both his hands in hers. “Welcome to Emperor Herdan.”
“Thank you, Captain MacIntyre.”
“Harriet,” she said, eyes holding his gaze with a curious intensity. “It’s Harriet or Harry if you prefer.”
William couldn’t help the smile that formed on his lips in return. “Thank you,” he repeated. “And it’s William or Bill.”
She nodded. “Come, our intra-ship car is waiting,” she said and led him to the featureless bronze bullet-shaped vehicle. He followed her inside--it could easily seat ten--and sat in a comfortable plush seat facing her. As the hatch closed, the upper half of the vehicle disappeared and a sky with lazy, fluffy clouds appeared above a lush rural landscape that moved at a bucolic pace. Harriet smiled. “We’re actually moving at about the speed of sound,” she said to his surprise; there was no feeling of acceleration. “However, we find this illusion more comfortable for the uninitiated. It will take us about fifteen minutes to get to the med-center and I wanted a chance to speak to you first.”
Her face was serious now and he was grateful for the compassion he saw in her eyes. “How is she?” he asked hoarsely.
“Right now she’s hanging in there,” she replied. “Diana Ingram, who rescued her, has been with her all the way--even through our doctors’ examinations. Ingram’s fighter made a crash landing on the Basestar where Laura was being held, and Diana and her ops officer were trying to hook up with one of the marine units on board when they came across a copy of the Cylon, Leobon. He was trying to get to the transports still on their flight deck. Apparently, he’d been wounded.” An oppressive silence filled the little vehicle. “He had Laura with him,” Harriet continued quietly, “and according to Ingram’s report, she was naked and barely conscious; she was also drugged. I’m sorry, William, our examinations show that Laura has been raped at least twice.”
Her quiet words shattered William’s heart. He’d known--since speaking to Sharon, he’d known what was happening to Laura, but he’d held onto futile hope and he’d prayed that somehow she’d escaped such brutality. Now, with the tears that flowed down his cheeks, hope bled out and died. His soul raged and howled at the Gods for their failure … for his own failure to protect her. And in the silence, Harriet MacIntyre held his hand.
Finally, he rose and walked to the back of the car as he drew out a kerchief from his pocket and dried his eyes.
“What now?” he asked hoarsely, laying his head against the bulkhead as he stared out at the illusory landscape.
“We help her,” Harry said simply. “We support her until she can stand on her own again. She can come back from this, William.”
Despair ate at his torn heart. “Can she?” he whispered. “How do you come back from something like this?”
“With a lot of support--with a lot of time and patience and understanding … and love, it is possible,” Harriet said. “And make no mistake, William, she does love you--” The certainty in her pronouncement surprised him. “She loves you as much as you love her. The woman I spoke to half an hour ago was in horrendous pain, but I can tell you that she’s also incredibly strong. She has survived the most horrifying physical, emotional and psychological abuse that any woman … any person can endure, and yet she remains unbroken. By all measure of everything she’s been through, she has every right to break and from what Diana Ingram reported, when they rescued her she was on the verge of complete psychological and emotional collapse. The only thing that pulled her back from the edge was you.”
His head snapped up and Harriet held his tear-filled gaze for a few silent moments before continuing. “The one thing that cut through all that pain and devastation was your name,” she said. “Only after hearing that her Admiral William Adama and the Battlestar Galactica were out here fighting the Cylons for her, did she claw her way back from that abyss and engage with Ingram. You are the rock--the pillar--Laura needs to hold onto in this storm. Can you be that strong?”
William nodded; at the moment he didn’t feel very strong, but he’d made his choice and there was no other place for him but at her side. He returned to his seat and they regarded each other for a few silent moments.
“I’ve turned over the day to day running of Galactica to Captain Kelly until Colonel Tigh can get back on board,” he said at last. “Lee will coordinate the evacuations with your people; I wasn’t able to contact Kara before I left--”
“Physically, Captain Thrace is fine,” Harriet said and William drew a breath in relief, “but apparently her husband didn’t make it.” He closed his eyes and sent a silent prayer. Kara would be devastated; he knew how much she loved Anders … how she fought to return to Caprica to save him and his people. “He died when a Cylon shell hit the school tent. A number of children, Laura’s assistant teacher and others died as well, but Major Tsien, commander of my marines, feels that Captain Thrace will be all right given time. Right now she’s keeping busy; my last update said that she was helping my people with search and rescue operations.”
“Thank you,” he said opening his eyes again.
“You’re welcome,” she replied. “I’m also told that we’ve rescued other Colonial officers from the Basestars. I think once they’re debriefed, we’ll ask them to help oversee the evacuation on the ground. We’ve set up suppressor fields in our ships’ docking bays to catch any unidentified Cylon models that might try to sneak onboard with the injured, but ideally, I’d like to catch them on the ground. Therefore, I also have teams setting up field portals that everyone must pass through in order to get on a transport. My psyche doctors and counsellors are on stand by; once everyone is onboard and settled they’ll start counselling sessions--even if it’s just to get your people familiarized with our people and our level of technology. Considering your history, I think we can both unfortunately foresee a few problems already.”
Adama spared her a brief smile; if most Imperials were as integrated with their technology as she’d indicated in their conversations during the strategy planning sessions, then she was the master of understatement. But for the foreseeable future, it wasn’t his problem, nor would he allow it to become his problem unless they were in dire straits.
“Will there be enough psyche doctors to go around?” he asked.
Harriet laughed, great rolling chuckles filled with genuine mirth. “With a population of fifty thousand people per ship on deep-space deployment for anywhere from five to ten years?” she asked rhetorically. “There had better be enough to go around! Sometimes I think there are more psyche practitioners than crew onboard,” she groused good-naturedly. “Don’t worry, your population will be split between the four ships in-system here and for the general Colonial population, the doctors will most likely start with group and family counselling as a way to identify those individuals who will most benefit from one-on-one sessions.”
She was quiet again for a moment before continuing. “However, I’ve arranged for Laura to begin seeing Dr. Audra Keyes in about three days,” she said quietly.
William nodded; grateful he didn’t have to navigate an alien medical system to get the necessary help. Oh, he’d be able to get it done, but right now all he wanted was to concentrate on Laura and it was one less thing to worry about.
“We’ll have to wait and see what kind of rapport they develop, but Audra is the best available to treat rape trauma--”
She speared him with a withering look at him when he reacted in surprise. “We’re like human beings everywhere, Adama,” she said in a hard, bitter voice. “Rape still happens here … even on board this ship. It is not tolerated, but it still happens. I’d like nothing more than for you to say that Colonial society has managed to stamp it out--”
“No,” he husked and she nodded grimly.
“Eventually, once they’ve settled into regular sessions, Audra--or whoever Laura chooses--will want to have joint sessions with you and Laura,” she said and he looked at her in confusion. “You--your relationship will be very important to Laura’s recovery. You’re all the family she has now, and as such, it will have to be addressed as part of her therapy. I’d suggest--and Audra will probably reiterate it--but I’d like to suggest that you find your own counsellor, because while you’re supporting her, it would be a good idea to have someone to support you.”
“I’ve never--” He stopped short. The last person to suggest therapy to him was his ex-wife, Caroline. When their marriage had begun to fail, she’d suggested couple’s therapy with their local priest, but he’d stubbornly refused--loathed to take the time from his career.
“Ah, the strong, silent type,” she said, eyes laughing at him. “There’s no shame in it.”
“You sound like you know what you’re talking about,” he said.
The humour died in her eyes. “Even for me, William,” she said, “life is far from perfect in my father’s little Empire of Man. We all must deal with pain and loss and trauma and stress. After all, how do you think I became so acquainted with Audra’s abilities? I’ve never had to contend with the brutality Laura experienced,” she said quickly as if reading his thoughts and her voice was hoarse when she continued. “But dealing with the miscarriage of a child … even after nearly a decade, it’s still hard.”
William nodded silently, touched that she would share something so private with him.
“Life happens,” she said with a shrug, “and there’s no way to stop it or even slow it down. The only things you truly have any control over are your choices and we’re both old enough to know that at the end of the day, what hangs in the balance between a good life and a bad one are the regrets over choices you’ve made.”
“Thank you,” he said making up his mind in a moment of immediate clarity; this time he reached for her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.
“Come, I’ll take you to her now,” Harriet said rising and leading him from the vehicle. He hadn’t noticed that they’d stopped; until the hatch opened, the illusion had made it appear that they were still slowly winding their way through the landscape.
A sudden apprehension ambushed William as he stepped into the corridor of Herdan’s brightly-lit life station and followed her to Laura’s room.
What if I do the wrong thing … say the wrong thing?
Harriet knocked gently and then, as the door opened, stood aside to allow him to enter. He recognised Diana Ingram from the fighter coordination briefings, but his gaze was immediately drawn to Laura’s pale face.
The pain clouding her eyes pulled him to her with the inexorable gravity of a black hole, and as he sat on the bed, everything else ceased to exist.
“Laura,” he whispered, reaching out to cup that beautiful face still so strong in its terrible vulnerability. He felt her chin tremble; with a wrenching cry, she surged into his arms, shaking with the force of her sobs as she clung to him through that hurricane of utter desolation.
And he clung to her for dear life.
Part 16
Word Count: 2,330
Rating: M
Disclaimer: Not mine ... just playing.
Spoilers: To LDYB Part II - Everything is definitely AU from the moment the Cylons flew over.
Summary: When Cloud Nine is destroyed, it attracted the attention of not only the Cylons.
Author's Note: This is a crossover fic, with David Weber's Mutineer's Moon - Fifth Imperium universe, but I don't think that you need to know the universe of this trilogy of novels to get it. Hopefully, it's explained well enough in the story.
As the Imperial transport approached the sphere of the moon-sized ship, William Adama could not help the primal fear that welled up in him … the greatest fear of every ancient mariner--to be swallowed up by some great leviathan from the deeps.
Yet it was as fleeting as a daydream in the face of the nightmare that had driven him from his ship and onto the first transport carrying wounded from Galactica to Emperor Herdan. Harriet MacIntyre’s face had conveyed eloquently everything those three words “we’ve found her” could not. For the first time in over forty years, his soul did not belong to the ship he served. For the first time since he’d taken command of Galactica, his first duty was not to her. So he’d turned her over with almost indecent haste to Kelly's care and raced to the flight deck.
He wondered now what that said about him. When his former wives had needed him … when his two boys had needed during their formative years, he’d chosen duty over them. As the cavernous docking bay swallowed the tiny minnow of his transport, he decided that perhaps it was simply time.
This was the second time he’d nearly lost Laura before he could tell her how much he loved her, and he knew instinctively that he’d run out of reprieves. It was time to choose where he wanted to stand for the rest of his life.
He was still lost in thought when a young Imperial officer cleared her throat politely. “Admiral Adama?” she said. “We’ve docked, sir--” He looked at her in surprise; he hadn’t felt a thing. “If you’ll follow me, Fleet Captain MacIntyre is waiting to escort you, sir.”
William nodded, rose and followed her, past the medics unloading their patients with quiet efficiency, to the second exit at the rear of the transport. As he left the transport, his first impression was of the impossible vastness of the bustling docking bay; three Battlestars could easily fit inside. His second impression was that Harriet MacIntyre was much taller than he’d expected--not nearly as tall as Azuka Riddick perhaps, but still a head taller than his own average height.
“Admiral Adama,” she said warmly as she clasped both his hands in hers. “Welcome to Emperor Herdan.”
“Thank you, Captain MacIntyre.”
“Harriet,” she said, eyes holding his gaze with a curious intensity. “It’s Harriet or Harry if you prefer.”
William couldn’t help the smile that formed on his lips in return. “Thank you,” he repeated. “And it’s William or Bill.”
She nodded. “Come, our intra-ship car is waiting,” she said and led him to the featureless bronze bullet-shaped vehicle. He followed her inside--it could easily seat ten--and sat in a comfortable plush seat facing her. As the hatch closed, the upper half of the vehicle disappeared and a sky with lazy, fluffy clouds appeared above a lush rural landscape that moved at a bucolic pace. Harriet smiled. “We’re actually moving at about the speed of sound,” she said to his surprise; there was no feeling of acceleration. “However, we find this illusion more comfortable for the uninitiated. It will take us about fifteen minutes to get to the med-center and I wanted a chance to speak to you first.”
Her face was serious now and he was grateful for the compassion he saw in her eyes. “How is she?” he asked hoarsely.
“Right now she’s hanging in there,” she replied. “Diana Ingram, who rescued her, has been with her all the way--even through our doctors’ examinations. Ingram’s fighter made a crash landing on the Basestar where Laura was being held, and Diana and her ops officer were trying to hook up with one of the marine units on board when they came across a copy of the Cylon, Leobon. He was trying to get to the transports still on their flight deck. Apparently, he’d been wounded.” An oppressive silence filled the little vehicle. “He had Laura with him,” Harriet continued quietly, “and according to Ingram’s report, she was naked and barely conscious; she was also drugged. I’m sorry, William, our examinations show that Laura has been raped at least twice.”
Her quiet words shattered William’s heart. He’d known--since speaking to Sharon, he’d known what was happening to Laura, but he’d held onto futile hope and he’d prayed that somehow she’d escaped such brutality. Now, with the tears that flowed down his cheeks, hope bled out and died. His soul raged and howled at the Gods for their failure … for his own failure to protect her. And in the silence, Harriet MacIntyre held his hand.
Finally, he rose and walked to the back of the car as he drew out a kerchief from his pocket and dried his eyes.
“What now?” he asked hoarsely, laying his head against the bulkhead as he stared out at the illusory landscape.
“We help her,” Harry said simply. “We support her until she can stand on her own again. She can come back from this, William.”
Despair ate at his torn heart. “Can she?” he whispered. “How do you come back from something like this?”
“With a lot of support--with a lot of time and patience and understanding … and love, it is possible,” Harriet said. “And make no mistake, William, she does love you--” The certainty in her pronouncement surprised him. “She loves you as much as you love her. The woman I spoke to half an hour ago was in horrendous pain, but I can tell you that she’s also incredibly strong. She has survived the most horrifying physical, emotional and psychological abuse that any woman … any person can endure, and yet she remains unbroken. By all measure of everything she’s been through, she has every right to break and from what Diana Ingram reported, when they rescued her she was on the verge of complete psychological and emotional collapse. The only thing that pulled her back from the edge was you.”
His head snapped up and Harriet held his tear-filled gaze for a few silent moments before continuing. “The one thing that cut through all that pain and devastation was your name,” she said. “Only after hearing that her Admiral William Adama and the Battlestar Galactica were out here fighting the Cylons for her, did she claw her way back from that abyss and engage with Ingram. You are the rock--the pillar--Laura needs to hold onto in this storm. Can you be that strong?”
William nodded; at the moment he didn’t feel very strong, but he’d made his choice and there was no other place for him but at her side. He returned to his seat and they regarded each other for a few silent moments.
“I’ve turned over the day to day running of Galactica to Captain Kelly until Colonel Tigh can get back on board,” he said at last. “Lee will coordinate the evacuations with your people; I wasn’t able to contact Kara before I left--”
“Physically, Captain Thrace is fine,” Harriet said and William drew a breath in relief, “but apparently her husband didn’t make it.” He closed his eyes and sent a silent prayer. Kara would be devastated; he knew how much she loved Anders … how she fought to return to Caprica to save him and his people. “He died when a Cylon shell hit the school tent. A number of children, Laura’s assistant teacher and others died as well, but Major Tsien, commander of my marines, feels that Captain Thrace will be all right given time. Right now she’s keeping busy; my last update said that she was helping my people with search and rescue operations.”
“Thank you,” he said opening his eyes again.
“You’re welcome,” she replied. “I’m also told that we’ve rescued other Colonial officers from the Basestars. I think once they’re debriefed, we’ll ask them to help oversee the evacuation on the ground. We’ve set up suppressor fields in our ships’ docking bays to catch any unidentified Cylon models that might try to sneak onboard with the injured, but ideally, I’d like to catch them on the ground. Therefore, I also have teams setting up field portals that everyone must pass through in order to get on a transport. My psyche doctors and counsellors are on stand by; once everyone is onboard and settled they’ll start counselling sessions--even if it’s just to get your people familiarized with our people and our level of technology. Considering your history, I think we can both unfortunately foresee a few problems already.”
Adama spared her a brief smile; if most Imperials were as integrated with their technology as she’d indicated in their conversations during the strategy planning sessions, then she was the master of understatement. But for the foreseeable future, it wasn’t his problem, nor would he allow it to become his problem unless they were in dire straits.
“Will there be enough psyche doctors to go around?” he asked.
Harriet laughed, great rolling chuckles filled with genuine mirth. “With a population of fifty thousand people per ship on deep-space deployment for anywhere from five to ten years?” she asked rhetorically. “There had better be enough to go around! Sometimes I think there are more psyche practitioners than crew onboard,” she groused good-naturedly. “Don’t worry, your population will be split between the four ships in-system here and for the general Colonial population, the doctors will most likely start with group and family counselling as a way to identify those individuals who will most benefit from one-on-one sessions.”
She was quiet again for a moment before continuing. “However, I’ve arranged for Laura to begin seeing Dr. Audra Keyes in about three days,” she said quietly.
William nodded; grateful he didn’t have to navigate an alien medical system to get the necessary help. Oh, he’d be able to get it done, but right now all he wanted was to concentrate on Laura and it was one less thing to worry about.
“We’ll have to wait and see what kind of rapport they develop, but Audra is the best available to treat rape trauma--”
She speared him with a withering look at him when he reacted in surprise. “We’re like human beings everywhere, Adama,” she said in a hard, bitter voice. “Rape still happens here … even on board this ship. It is not tolerated, but it still happens. I’d like nothing more than for you to say that Colonial society has managed to stamp it out--”
“No,” he husked and she nodded grimly.
“Eventually, once they’ve settled into regular sessions, Audra--or whoever Laura chooses--will want to have joint sessions with you and Laura,” she said and he looked at her in confusion. “You--your relationship will be very important to Laura’s recovery. You’re all the family she has now, and as such, it will have to be addressed as part of her therapy. I’d suggest--and Audra will probably reiterate it--but I’d like to suggest that you find your own counsellor, because while you’re supporting her, it would be a good idea to have someone to support you.”
“I’ve never--” He stopped short. The last person to suggest therapy to him was his ex-wife, Caroline. When their marriage had begun to fail, she’d suggested couple’s therapy with their local priest, but he’d stubbornly refused--loathed to take the time from his career.
“Ah, the strong, silent type,” she said, eyes laughing at him. “There’s no shame in it.”
“You sound like you know what you’re talking about,” he said.
The humour died in her eyes. “Even for me, William,” she said, “life is far from perfect in my father’s little Empire of Man. We all must deal with pain and loss and trauma and stress. After all, how do you think I became so acquainted with Audra’s abilities? I’ve never had to contend with the brutality Laura experienced,” she said quickly as if reading his thoughts and her voice was hoarse when she continued. “But dealing with the miscarriage of a child … even after nearly a decade, it’s still hard.”
William nodded silently, touched that she would share something so private with him.
“Life happens,” she said with a shrug, “and there’s no way to stop it or even slow it down. The only things you truly have any control over are your choices and we’re both old enough to know that at the end of the day, what hangs in the balance between a good life and a bad one are the regrets over choices you’ve made.”
“Thank you,” he said making up his mind in a moment of immediate clarity; this time he reached for her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.
“Come, I’ll take you to her now,” Harriet said rising and leading him from the vehicle. He hadn’t noticed that they’d stopped; until the hatch opened, the illusion had made it appear that they were still slowly winding their way through the landscape.
A sudden apprehension ambushed William as he stepped into the corridor of Herdan’s brightly-lit life station and followed her to Laura’s room.
What if I do the wrong thing … say the wrong thing?
Harriet knocked gently and then, as the door opened, stood aside to allow him to enter. He recognised Diana Ingram from the fighter coordination briefings, but his gaze was immediately drawn to Laura’s pale face.
The pain clouding her eyes pulled him to her with the inexorable gravity of a black hole, and as he sat on the bed, everything else ceased to exist.
“Laura,” he whispered, reaching out to cup that beautiful face still so strong in its terrible vulnerability. He felt her chin tremble; with a wrenching cry, she surged into his arms, shaking with the force of her sobs as she clung to him through that hurricane of utter desolation.
And he clung to her for dear life.
Part 16