Well, it probably would have been more tactful to say, "Hey, can you lower your voice some, we cannot hear each other talk." rather than bluntly go, "you're awfully loud..." But other than that, she should have gotten the message.
Honestly, I'm betting most of that was her being embarassed (I know I would be especially if some one broke it to me as, "You're awfully loud". I have a loud voice, I can get carried away, and sometimes I don't realize I'm talking loud).
Frankly, I don't care. She was amazingly rude and I was civil. It's not my job to guard her feelings.
For the record, my word choice was because she was so loud (and hadn't paused since she picked up her phone--I'm not sure she was even pausing to inhale) that I wasn't sure she'd be able to hear ME. So I went for clarity and hoped she'd be able to figure it out if she only got a couple of the words.
Tactful isn't my strong suit. Shrug. Shrieking harpy in a tiny cafe can deal with it if someone decides to be *civil*, and labeling it "the height of rudeness" just makes her look like an idiot who's never encountered, y'know, *actual* rudeness.
But I'll mention sometimes it may not feel like you should have to be but you are more likely to get better results if you are tactful rather than putting people on the defensive or making them feel embarassed (they tend to get defensive and tend to be less likely to be able to admit that they were in the wrong).
Of course, sometimes it may not matter how tactful you are, they are going to be rude anyways *shrug*. I just prefer to give them the benefit of a doubt first (for example she may not have realized how loud she is talking. That I can sympathize with cause I am guilty of the same. It's not that I mean to or don't care, I just didn't realize it. Then again, she may have just not cared or thought that her conversation was more important than anyone else's).
"Not tactful" would have been, "Hey, shut up." "Not tactful" would have been "keep your damn voice down." If she didn't realize she was being loud, well, I *informed* her that she was being loud, without being insulting, or aggressive, or nasty. If "You're being awfully loud" was too rude for her world, there isn't a way I could have said it that *wouldn't* be.
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Honestly, I'm betting most of that was her being embarassed (I know I would be especially if some one broke it to me as, "You're awfully loud". I have a loud voice, I can get carried away, and sometimes I don't realize I'm talking loud).
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For the record, my word choice was because she was so loud (and hadn't paused since she picked up her phone--I'm not sure she was even pausing to inhale) that I wasn't sure she'd be able to hear ME. So I went for clarity and hoped she'd be able to figure it out if she only got a couple of the words.
Tactful isn't my strong suit. Shrug. Shrieking harpy in a tiny cafe can deal with it if someone decides to be *civil*, and labeling it "the height of rudeness" just makes her look like an idiot who's never encountered, y'know, *actual* rudeness.
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But I'll mention sometimes it may not feel like you should have to be but you are more likely to get better results if you are tactful rather than putting people on the defensive or making them feel embarassed (they tend to get defensive and tend to be less likely to be able to admit that they were in the wrong).
Of course, sometimes it may not matter how tactful you are, they are going to be rude anyways *shrug*. I just prefer to give them the benefit of a doubt first (for example she may not have realized how loud she is talking. That I can sympathize with cause I am guilty of the same. It's not that I mean to or don't care, I just didn't realize it. Then again, she may have just not cared or thought that her conversation was more important than anyone else's).
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