FIC: Night Terrors

[ladydreamer]

Title: Night Terrors
Pair: Klaine
Includes: mpreg and zeh zombies
Word Count: ~2662
Summary: Kurt has nightmares. Walkers invade the camp. Kurt and Blaine have a talk.

The road so far...
The Conception of Hope -> Human Kindness -> No Home Left to Run From -> Chasing Ghosts -> Water Break -> Unsafe -> Only Us -> Meanwhile, Back at the Shelter -> Consumerism is Dead -> Camping

And now...


As the baby ripped its way out of him, Kurt could make out the growling, smacking sounds of its first meal. Him. He could only lay there, struggling in pain, while the baby ate its way free of its human host and blood spurted across the dirt, sullied the lake, splattered over his face and into his own eyes.

It wasn’t long before it was done with him. He was dead. Dead meat, laying lifelessly and watching as the baby came for Blaine.

Kurt screamed, and gagged, and choked, all as he awoke. He stopped himself, forcing air into his lungs as he untied the gag. The nightmare was not a new one. It was one of several that came back to haunt him nightly. And then, as though he were still dreaming, an eye appeared at the window. An eye surrounded by hamburger meat for a face. Kurt looked around for Blaine.

He was gone.

Heart in his throat, Kurt wondered if Blaine had seen the walkers and gone out to stop them, but there was no way Blaine wouldn’t have woken him. He wouldn’t be so stupid as to leave the car just to use the bathroom, either. They had bottles for that which they emptied in the morning.

Another walker pressed against the window and snarled. Kurt pushed himself up and hit the automatic locks, just in case. He sat for a moment, hand curled around his belly, trying to think of what to do. No thoughts came and a third walker pounded against the vehicle, then a fourth. He started the car and peeled out of their campsite, leaving the walkers far, far behind.

He stopped once he reached the road. There didn’t seem to be any walkers around. He just leaned forward against the steering wheel.

He was alone.

***

Kurt couldn’t make himself stop shaking. There was nothing in him that could make himself stop shaking, and yet, when Blaine appeared at the window, every part of him went completely still. Silence stretched over the time he stared at the window, frozen, unsure of whether or not he should open the door. And he desperately, desperately, wished that he was having yet another nightmare. What would he do if Blaine was now one of them?

Then Blaine pressed his hand to the window, frowned with worry, and said, “Baby?”

They didn’t speak. Kurt swallowed his terror and unlocked the doors.

“I’m... I’m a terrible, terrible person,” he said in amazement.

“Um. No.” Blaine shut the door behind him and reach over Kurt to relock the doors. “Why would you think that? Because you hesitated just now? That’s not-”

“I left you.” Kurt covered his mouth and shook his head. “I left you.”

Blaine watched Kurt for several moments, then said with a quiet firmness, “You took our baby and ran. You protected the baby.”

“By leaving you,” Kurt repeated. He closed his eyes tightly, shaking his head.

“Babe, I heard the car coming out through the woods. I was late coming back tonight, remember? You must have gone to sleep without me, like I told you to if I take too long, and hearing the car let me know that the campsite wasn’t safe to enter. It worked out just fine.”

“But-”

Blaine cupped Kurt’s face. “You protected our baby. That’s what I want you to do. That’s why we’re out here. You didn’t leave me because you didn’t even know where I was. It wasn’t an easy call to make, but if I’d gone into that campsite on foot, even with my weapon in hand, I’d be dead. So don’t worry about what happened.”

“It’s so hard that I can’t... I can’t protect both of you at the same time.”

“Luckily... That choice is easier for me right now. Protecting you means protecting the peanut.” Blaine gave him a gentle kiss. “Our roles have changed a little. There’s no point in fighting that. You do what you have to do, babe, and don’t feel bad for it. So on the road again, hm?”

“I guess.”

“Why don’t you go in the back and get some sleep?” Blaine set his weapons down and motioned for Kurt to crawl in the back.

“I... I can’t sleep,” Kurt admitted. “I just wake up. All the time.”

“I know. Try? For me? And for him?” Blaine smiled. “Or her.”

“I’ll try,” Kurt promised. He took the offered hand and let Blaine help him maneuver himself over the center divider back into the nest of blankets that lay over the folded down back seats.

“Maybe telling me about your dreams would help?”

“I doubt it. And then you’d just have nightmares, too.”

“I do anyway.”

“Yeah.” Kurt curled over on his side and stroked his belly slowly. It was a comforting, petting gesture, and he didn’t know why it made him feel better, even after dreaming that the baby he was petting would jump out and eat him.

“Kurt?”

“Yes?”

“I was hoping you’d dozed off.”

“I was thinking.”

“About?”

Kurt swallowed. “Nothing. Just the baby.”

“All joking aside, you have so much weight on you.” Blaine turned back to Kurt and slowed the car. “You have to let me know if there’s anything I can do to take some of the burden. You know?”

“I know. I just don’t know how to do that.”

“I’ll give you a rub down with the oil for your skin, after I’m sure we’re clear,” Blaine suggested. “That helps you relax, doesn’t it?”

“That revs me up. What we do after helps me relax.”

Blaine laughed. It almost sounded relieved, almost carefree. “Well, I like doing that, too. I’m kind of glad you do.”

“I’m not really-” Kurt stopped speaking, and his hand shot away from his stomach as though burned. His body panicked at the sudden flutter inside him, breaking out in a sweat all over. In a moment of pure stupidity, he crawled backward frantically, as though he could actually get away from the baby inside him.

“What? What is it?” Blaine asked. “Are you okay back there? What is it? Walkers? Are you hurt?”

“N-nothing.” Kurt pressed his back against the driver’s seat and stared down at his belly with a mixture of fear and suspicion. He licked his lips and moved his hand forward again... But he couldn’t make himself touch.

“I’m stopping,” Blaine announced.

“You don’t have to. It’s nothing.”

“It’s something,” Blaine snapped.

Kurt closed his eyes and squeezed the blankets on either side of him between his fingers. “It’s... Not bad. Theoretically.”

There it was again. A little butterfly kiss inside his belly.

“The baby kicked,” he said finally.

“Oh. Oh!” Blaine’s voice rang out cheerfully. “That’s great!”

“I just want it to stop.”

“...Oh.”

There was silence in the car for several more minutes before Blaine slowed the car to a stop and then crawled into the back. He pulled Kurt close to him and petted the back of his hair.

“I’m sorry you don’t get a choice about this. Here I am excited about the baby, and you don’t get a say in what’s happening to you. That really sucks. I wish I could find a safe way to, um, handle it-”

“Blaine. Don’t.” Kurt snuggled into his arms and grew quiet.

“I never asked you how you felt about being pregnant. I didn’t know how,” Blaine said apologetically.

“There weren’t signals of my unhappiness that you should have been picking up. I’m just having a hard time right now. I keep having nightmares that the baby is a walker,” Kurt admitted.

Blaine’s hand stilled on his back. His hushed voice repeated, “The baby is a walker?”

“Stupid, right? They’re dead. How could it grow, if it were a walker? And I’m not infected...” Kurt shook his head and pushed his face into Blaine’s chest again. “I just wish I could sleep. That I could control... anything.”

“Okay, so. If I were having those dreams-- and I might now--”

“I told you.”

“--I would freak out a little, too, the moment it started wiggling around.” Blaine looked down at him and Kurt glanced up to catch his eye. “Do you still feel it?”

“No. It stopped.”

“Other than the possibility of our baby coming out a cannibal...” Blaine’s lips quirked to the side. “Or a Republican-”

Kurt laughed in spite of himself.

“How do you feel? About this? About... I know you’ve said you were overwhelmed a couple of times...”

“Still that.” Kurt shrugged. “I don’t think that feeling’s going away.”

“How do you feel about... you body changing like this?”

“Well. I’m not... thrilled about it, but... It doesn’t bother me as much as I thought it would.” Kurt paused. “I’m glad I don’t have stretch marks, yet. Yet. I mean, it’s only a matter of time before I’m a complete whale, right? Even then... I would have thought this would upset me more than it does... I can be pretty shallow. You know?”

Blaine tentatively touched his belly. “I think you have too much on your mind. Not enough room for that kind of worry.”

“Too busy being afraid she’s not going to make it, or that she’ll... I don’t know. Not get enough of something, or me being so stressed out will cause her some kind of damage...”

Blaine’s fingers pushed up Kurt’s top, and he moved them over the curve gently. “It might. That’s why I’m always trying to push you to eat and rest.”

Kurt sighed and rested his head against Blaine’s shoulder again. “I don’t think I trust my body to do this. I’m not sure I trust myself.”

“There’s a lot we don’t know about how this happened,” Blaine said, stroking Kurt’s belly. His fingers moved over Kurt’s skin rhythmically, and Kurt closed his eyes and started to relax a little.

“I wanna believe that you can do it,” Blaine added after a moment. “I need to. It’s just so hard out here. And... it would have been hard anyway.”

He paused and took a breath. “Maybe you’re having these dreams because you’re scared you can’t give the baby what she needs. You’re scared you can’t protect her from them.”

“That or it’s just the PTSD, sweetie. Mm. Don’t stop.”

Blaine chuckled and kissed Kurt’s forehead. “Honestly? When I see you getting bigger... I get all warm and fuzzy like a sap.”

Kurt opened one eye to glare at him. But it wasn’t real annoyance, because Kurt had eyes. He could see Blaine getting all clucky over him.

“It means the baby is growing,” Blaine said. “And if it’s growing, then it has to be somewhat okay. Right?” His thumb moved down the side of Kurt’s belly. “If it’s growing, he’s not a walker, anyway. And I’m watching you, too. We’ll do the best we can. What else can we do?”

“If he’s growing,” Kurt repeated, to remind himself, “he’s not a walker.”

He put his hand over Blaine’s and looked up at him hopefully.

“I wish you had a choice.” Blaine leaned over to nuzzle his temple. “It kills me that you don’t.”

“I...” Kurt considered that. He considered the little life growing inside him, sucking away all his energy, taking over his body, making him vulnerable, making him fat... well, round about the middle. It was hard to argue that the rest of him was plumping up, because he wasn’t... when he probably should.

Still, this little life was more than a nuisance. It was more than a liability to them. It was a part of him and of Blaine, and when he wasn’t so utterly terrified... He thought maybe, if he and Blaine had someplace relatively safe, somewhere they could call home, then this whole pregnancy thing might be okay. He could imagine her little curls already... Or the way his eyes would shine and remind him of his dad...

“You’re adorable,” Blaine said suddenly.

Kurt jumped a little, but Blaine held him tightly.

“Sorry. You just get that look on your face. And I know you’re thinking about the baby.”

“I don’t know if I would have chosen this.” Kurt shrugged and curled into Blaine’s embrace. “I definitely wouldn’t have chosen to do it now, but... I do... I do really want the baby. Now that it’s coming anyway.”

He giggled unsteadily. “So cheerful! Right?”

“I’d probably have mixed feelings about it, too.” Blaine crooked his mouth to the side. “I do. Actually. Because I’m worried about you as much as I already love this kid.”

“Nothing’s ever easy for us.” Kurt leaned over and kissed Blaine.

“I’ll protect the two of you with my dying breath. You know that, don’t you?”

Kurt pulled away and curled over on himself. “Please don’t say that. It’s terrifying enough to think about raising a child in this wasteland of a world with you, let alone alone.”

“You’re strong. You could do it.” Blaine touched Kurt’s hair. “And I don’t want to think about raising the baby without you, either.”

“So we just both have to make it.” Kurt shrugged. “To Shangri-La. Gaytopia.”

“We could try New York.”

“Do you really think they’d be able to stop it there? With so many people.” Kurt touched his lips.

“It depends. We haven’t met enough people to guess how far it spread.” Blaine looked out the window, scanning the darkness for any flicker of movement. “Everyone so far has been within a few states, and we know it spread south.”

“Do you still believe there are people out there?” Kurt sucked in his lower lip and looked to Blaine. He didn’t believe. But Blaine... He was usually the optimistic one.

“I know there are. How many? Where? I don’t know. If we can trust them? Probably not.”

“I mean... Somewhere that wasn’t hit. Somewhere that’s free from walkers.”

Blaine ran a hand through his hair and leaned against the seat with Kurt. “I really don’t know. And I don’t know where we’d begin to look. Or how we’d get there once we knew...”

Kurt nodded and curled his arms around himself.

“That wasn’t the right thing to say.” Blaine draped his arm around Kurt’s shoulders. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry for being honest.”

“We’ll think of something. Somewhere.”

“Just hold me, okay?” Kurt pleaded.

Blaine pulled Kurt closer and rubbed his back for a long time. It was around dawn when Kurt started to doze off and Blaine laid him in the blankets, then went back up to the driver’s seat. Everything seemed so inconstant in their lives. Food. Shelter. Safety. No resting place was theirs for long, and it was nothing but upheaval and change, over and over.

Kurt blinked sleepily and rubbed his belly as he began to sing to the baby, the first Beatles song that popped into his head. Blaine sang along for a time, and eventually, Kurt’s eyes closed to only sweet, blessed, and temporary darkness.

Next Part: No Use for Wind Chimes in the Land of the Dead