FIC: I Love You Like I Love You
Title: I Love You Like I Love You
Pairing: Clex
Summary: Clark finds Lex. Post Bride coda.
Spoilers for Season 8. Oneshot.
Word Count: 1975
The pilot walked up to the pale, bald creature hooked up to various tubes and wires. It sat in the middle of them, eyes fixed on the screen as though the world depended on it.
"He fought for you."
"You will understand if I do not believe that Oliver Queen would fight for me. I'm quite sure he's trying to kill me, not that there is much work to be done on that front."
"Maybe. But I was talking about the other one. The tall, dark-haired pretty boy with the red jacket. He stole Queen's router, refused to go looking for you," the pilot insisted. "He pointed out that you hadn't moved against him. I just thought you might like to know."
The bald man turned his head slightly. Weary, dead eyes of a watery gray flitted up toward the man who stood before him with information. It was good to have a plant in Queen's employ, particularly since the old enemy had decided to renew his war, for no apparent reason. Perhaps it was because of what he knew. That he had told no one, that he had once again held the secret close to his chest, these facts mattered not.
"He defended me." The tired reply came through pale, cracked lips.
Lex Luthor was a dead thing. A thing connected to so many machines that he could not associate himself with this carcass of his body. His fixed gaze seemed to unnerve the pilot.
"He did. Said he'd erased the memory of one of his friends and now he had to go to her wedding. But it wasn't about the wedding. That was just guilt. He was protecting you. Stalling Queen."
"Was he," Lex whispered. He looked back at the screen, which he observed. Countless hours of footage. His hell-his search for answers-was never-ending.
The pilot took the dismissal and left the crypt of Lex Luthor.
It was less than two weeks later when Lex received an unprecedented visitor. Not a worker. Not his ex-wife. No.
Lex did not acknowledge him at first, continued scanning the video intently and working the controls with his fingers, which barely moved over the small pad that had been constructed for him. A circle that required very little physical effort to operate.
Finally, he spoke: "Come to rape my mind, Kal-El? Or are you simply going to kill me? It would hardly be a murder. I'm mostly dead in any case."
"I'm not going to kill you, Lex," Clark replied. Feet clad in men's dress shoes moved toward the chair in the middle of the room.
Lex turned his head as much as he was able. He was tired. Always tired. He blinked slowly, taking the sight of Clark Kent in. The sight of the utterly horrified expression on Clark's face as he took Lex in, the withered corpse of a man clinging pathetically to this world.
"You look good in a suit, Kal-El." Lex's voice did not hold for the rest of the sentence, but rather crackled like so many crushed autumn leaves. He didn't care. "Always have. Who helps you with your ties, I wonder?"
"Don’t call me that," Clark said in a forceful whisper.
"Kal-El? No?"
"No, Alexander."
Lex's lips twitched, but did not bear forth a smile. He met Clark's eyes, searching for malice there. Clark was inscrutable. Nothing on his face whatsoever.
"The tube to my lungs. That would be the easiest way."
"I'm not going to kill you!" Clark boomed.
To his dismay, Lex jumped involuntarily, and then winced, because the sudden motion hurt. Clark's eyes widened and seemed to grow wetter. Lex couldn't comprehend it.
"I'm not going to kill you," Clark repeated in a softer tone and crouched down beside Lex.
"I've been told that you've stalled Queen in his attempts to find me. I assumed you wanted to savor the moment yourself."
"Why are you so certain that I'm going to kill you?" Clark asked in a peevish voice.
Lex creased his brow and brushed his finger over the control, stopping the video. "Because you've tried to kill me before. Surely you remember. At the dam? In your barn? And if that weren't enough… I'm in this condition because I've tried to kill you."
"I know. But you were misled. You thought I was someone I wasn't, and my father shouldn't have trusted the people he did with that artifact. The Veritas Cult… they hurt you-"
"I still bear the wound on my chest. Too many injuries for me to heal, I guess." Lex made a soft noise that may have been a laugh, but it didn't carry. "I wasn't misled. You are who you are, and my destiny is to protect the Earth. If you mean to stop me, then you had better kill me now, while you can."
Clark reached over slowly, slowly, keeping eye contact with Lex as he did so, and eventually his warm hand reached the cold, dry cheek. It moved over the cheek gently, touching, caressing, almost as though through the contact he rejuvenate the body before him.
"You said you were sorry."
"An apology gets me off? Had I but known."
"You said you thought I was the destroyer."
"A position I am beginning to renege on, to be honest. I've found another candidate for that, you see. A creature a lot like myself. It endlessly repairs itself. I think you two have met. In any case, you can still be very dangerous, Clark."
"I know. But I'm not hiding behind a disguise. There's nothing here but the not-so mild mannered farmboy, who just happens to be an alien." Then tears spilled over Clark's cheeks. "I thought you were dead."
"I am," Lex replied as he curled his lips in revulsion.
"You said…" Clark took a minute to look away and take a breath. "You said you would help me. Help me to be a hero. Ever since I got back, I've tried. I've tried being what you wanted me to be." He laughed and shook his head. "I'm not very good. The whole peanut gallery's got an opinion on how I should do it, and mostly it's not how I've been doing it."
"Well. These things take practice. His first night on the job, Warrior Angel didn't even save the girl."
"He didn't save his best friend either," Clark said, looking up again. "You said you loved me."
Lex tensed his mouth and frowned. "That shouldn't have been news, Clark."
"There was nothing more horrible to me than when I realized you saw me as a monster." Clark leaned forward, closer to Lex, but slowly. Lex couldn't get away. Not even if he wanted to.
"We all have within us the capacity to be monstrous. We do monstrous things. I murdered my father because I believed he would kill me first, and I had too many important things to do. I've connected people to machines, sometimes to help them, sometimes to help the world, but the end result, the damning of my soul-it's all the same, Clark."
"Stop." Clark lifted his chin and pressed his lips to Lex's. "You said you loved me. You had tears in your eyes and you said you loved me, but it had to be this way, and you killed yourself. You took yourself out with me. You cradled me in your arms, tried to comfort me as we went together, and I'm sorry that you've had to suffer more for my failure than I did."
Lex was silent for a moment, then tried to lean forward. He closed his eyes as he felt his body refusing to respond. Clark kissed him again, this time moving a delicate hand behind Lex's neck and letting it rest there as their lips pushed against one another and forced emotion and response out of two despondent souls.
"Who told you where I was?" Lex asked, opening his eyes.
"Lana. After awhile. She may have hoped I'd kill you."
"No. We're working together. I think. Her loyalty is a fleeting thing, at times. She genuinely wants to keep the world from alien harm, though, and I asked her to keep an eye on the jolly green idiot."
"I want to take you home," Clark said. "I… I have to look for Chloe, but first I need to take you home."
"She's at your ice castle," Lex informed him flatly. When Clark's eyes widened in disbelief, Lex wobbled his head a little. "I have information coming all the time. The monster took her up that way. I've seen it from a satellite feed. You should program your computer to keep tourists out. Might help."
"She's… oh, god. Okay." Clark wrapped his arms gently around Lex. "Thank you for telling me."
"Clark, you have to give her memories back to her. We've been down this road before. I'm not piping in as the peanut gallery here. She'll grow bitter and hate you, because she will find out," Lex warned. "And she should hate you. The woman in that wedding video is no Chloe Sullivan I know. You've crippled her. You made her unable to fight that thing that took her, and you took her self away from her. You don't get to decide what memories she gets to keep."
Clark seemed to go limp, and he sat beside Lex, stroking the back of his neck. "I… wanted to protect her. I only wanted to protect you."
"I know. Believe me, Clark, I understand why you would do it. I've learned the hard way that you can commit some terrible evil in the name of love." Lex leaned his head forward. "Hey. I'm not going anywhere. If you need to go get her, then you should. I'll be fine here."
"Not while Green Arrow is out to kill you. He found out that your father killed his parents."
"And thus he wants to kill me? One of these days people will realize I'm the Luthor without hair."
With a wide, weary smile, Clark looked at Lex with fondness over-brimming in his eyes. "You're not dead, Lex. Only you could be making those dry jokes when you feel like this. I love that about you."
"Do you?"
"Yeah," Clark replied emphatically. He licked his lips. "I'm not leaving you without protection."
"Chloe-"
"I know. And I have to save her, but I need someone here, first." Clark swallowed and pulled a crest-shaped crystal out of his pocket. "I'll get my cousin. She'll help. You've taken care of her when she needed it."
"How far does your cell phone network reach?"
"Pretty far." Clark leaned back with Lex. "What can you tell me about this thing?"
Lex arched a brow and moved his fingers briefly over his control pad once again, scanning through his information.
"This thing is like a giant iPod," Clark joked, scooting closer to Lex.
"Do you forgive me for trying to kill you, Clark?"
"Do you forgive me?"
"I…" Lex settled on the information and let it play. He looked at Clark. "I love you like… I love you."
"I love you like I love you, too. And I'm sorry we didn't figure this out sooner."
"I'm amazed we managed it before blowing up the world in the process."
The sarcastic comment earned Lex another kiss, and Clark pulled off his suit jacket to drape around Lex's cold shoulders. He had been thinking of this moment since he'd regained his memory, planning and hoping that one day he would have this moment to step in and make the world shine for Lex once again. Right now Lex's body didn't seem to want to cooperate, but Clark was sure that if they kept working on trusting one another, he and Lex would both soon feel alive once again.
Pairing: Clex
Summary: Clark finds Lex. Post Bride coda.
Spoilers for Season 8. Oneshot.
Word Count: 1975
The pilot walked up to the pale, bald creature hooked up to various tubes and wires. It sat in the middle of them, eyes fixed on the screen as though the world depended on it.
"He fought for you."
"You will understand if I do not believe that Oliver Queen would fight for me. I'm quite sure he's trying to kill me, not that there is much work to be done on that front."
"Maybe. But I was talking about the other one. The tall, dark-haired pretty boy with the red jacket. He stole Queen's router, refused to go looking for you," the pilot insisted. "He pointed out that you hadn't moved against him. I just thought you might like to know."
The bald man turned his head slightly. Weary, dead eyes of a watery gray flitted up toward the man who stood before him with information. It was good to have a plant in Queen's employ, particularly since the old enemy had decided to renew his war, for no apparent reason. Perhaps it was because of what he knew. That he had told no one, that he had once again held the secret close to his chest, these facts mattered not.
"He defended me." The tired reply came through pale, cracked lips.
Lex Luthor was a dead thing. A thing connected to so many machines that he could not associate himself with this carcass of his body. His fixed gaze seemed to unnerve the pilot.
"He did. Said he'd erased the memory of one of his friends and now he had to go to her wedding. But it wasn't about the wedding. That was just guilt. He was protecting you. Stalling Queen."
"Was he," Lex whispered. He looked back at the screen, which he observed. Countless hours of footage. His hell-his search for answers-was never-ending.
The pilot took the dismissal and left the crypt of Lex Luthor.
It was less than two weeks later when Lex received an unprecedented visitor. Not a worker. Not his ex-wife. No.
Lex did not acknowledge him at first, continued scanning the video intently and working the controls with his fingers, which barely moved over the small pad that had been constructed for him. A circle that required very little physical effort to operate.
Finally, he spoke: "Come to rape my mind, Kal-El? Or are you simply going to kill me? It would hardly be a murder. I'm mostly dead in any case."
"I'm not going to kill you, Lex," Clark replied. Feet clad in men's dress shoes moved toward the chair in the middle of the room.
Lex turned his head as much as he was able. He was tired. Always tired. He blinked slowly, taking the sight of Clark Kent in. The sight of the utterly horrified expression on Clark's face as he took Lex in, the withered corpse of a man clinging pathetically to this world.
"You look good in a suit, Kal-El." Lex's voice did not hold for the rest of the sentence, but rather crackled like so many crushed autumn leaves. He didn't care. "Always have. Who helps you with your ties, I wonder?"
"Don’t call me that," Clark said in a forceful whisper.
"Kal-El? No?"
"No, Alexander."
Lex's lips twitched, but did not bear forth a smile. He met Clark's eyes, searching for malice there. Clark was inscrutable. Nothing on his face whatsoever.
"The tube to my lungs. That would be the easiest way."
"I'm not going to kill you!" Clark boomed.
To his dismay, Lex jumped involuntarily, and then winced, because the sudden motion hurt. Clark's eyes widened and seemed to grow wetter. Lex couldn't comprehend it.
"I'm not going to kill you," Clark repeated in a softer tone and crouched down beside Lex.
"I've been told that you've stalled Queen in his attempts to find me. I assumed you wanted to savor the moment yourself."
"Why are you so certain that I'm going to kill you?" Clark asked in a peevish voice.
Lex creased his brow and brushed his finger over the control, stopping the video. "Because you've tried to kill me before. Surely you remember. At the dam? In your barn? And if that weren't enough… I'm in this condition because I've tried to kill you."
"I know. But you were misled. You thought I was someone I wasn't, and my father shouldn't have trusted the people he did with that artifact. The Veritas Cult… they hurt you-"
"I still bear the wound on my chest. Too many injuries for me to heal, I guess." Lex made a soft noise that may have been a laugh, but it didn't carry. "I wasn't misled. You are who you are, and my destiny is to protect the Earth. If you mean to stop me, then you had better kill me now, while you can."
Clark reached over slowly, slowly, keeping eye contact with Lex as he did so, and eventually his warm hand reached the cold, dry cheek. It moved over the cheek gently, touching, caressing, almost as though through the contact he rejuvenate the body before him.
"You said you were sorry."
"An apology gets me off? Had I but known."
"You said you thought I was the destroyer."
"A position I am beginning to renege on, to be honest. I've found another candidate for that, you see. A creature a lot like myself. It endlessly repairs itself. I think you two have met. In any case, you can still be very dangerous, Clark."
"I know. But I'm not hiding behind a disguise. There's nothing here but the not-so mild mannered farmboy, who just happens to be an alien." Then tears spilled over Clark's cheeks. "I thought you were dead."
"I am," Lex replied as he curled his lips in revulsion.
"You said…" Clark took a minute to look away and take a breath. "You said you would help me. Help me to be a hero. Ever since I got back, I've tried. I've tried being what you wanted me to be." He laughed and shook his head. "I'm not very good. The whole peanut gallery's got an opinion on how I should do it, and mostly it's not how I've been doing it."
"Well. These things take practice. His first night on the job, Warrior Angel didn't even save the girl."
"He didn't save his best friend either," Clark said, looking up again. "You said you loved me."
Lex tensed his mouth and frowned. "That shouldn't have been news, Clark."
"There was nothing more horrible to me than when I realized you saw me as a monster." Clark leaned forward, closer to Lex, but slowly. Lex couldn't get away. Not even if he wanted to.
"We all have within us the capacity to be monstrous. We do monstrous things. I murdered my father because I believed he would kill me first, and I had too many important things to do. I've connected people to machines, sometimes to help them, sometimes to help the world, but the end result, the damning of my soul-it's all the same, Clark."
"Stop." Clark lifted his chin and pressed his lips to Lex's. "You said you loved me. You had tears in your eyes and you said you loved me, but it had to be this way, and you killed yourself. You took yourself out with me. You cradled me in your arms, tried to comfort me as we went together, and I'm sorry that you've had to suffer more for my failure than I did."
Lex was silent for a moment, then tried to lean forward. He closed his eyes as he felt his body refusing to respond. Clark kissed him again, this time moving a delicate hand behind Lex's neck and letting it rest there as their lips pushed against one another and forced emotion and response out of two despondent souls.
"Who told you where I was?" Lex asked, opening his eyes.
"Lana. After awhile. She may have hoped I'd kill you."
"No. We're working together. I think. Her loyalty is a fleeting thing, at times. She genuinely wants to keep the world from alien harm, though, and I asked her to keep an eye on the jolly green idiot."
"I want to take you home," Clark said. "I… I have to look for Chloe, but first I need to take you home."
"She's at your ice castle," Lex informed him flatly. When Clark's eyes widened in disbelief, Lex wobbled his head a little. "I have information coming all the time. The monster took her up that way. I've seen it from a satellite feed. You should program your computer to keep tourists out. Might help."
"She's… oh, god. Okay." Clark wrapped his arms gently around Lex. "Thank you for telling me."
"Clark, you have to give her memories back to her. We've been down this road before. I'm not piping in as the peanut gallery here. She'll grow bitter and hate you, because she will find out," Lex warned. "And she should hate you. The woman in that wedding video is no Chloe Sullivan I know. You've crippled her. You made her unable to fight that thing that took her, and you took her self away from her. You don't get to decide what memories she gets to keep."
Clark seemed to go limp, and he sat beside Lex, stroking the back of his neck. "I… wanted to protect her. I only wanted to protect you."
"I know. Believe me, Clark, I understand why you would do it. I've learned the hard way that you can commit some terrible evil in the name of love." Lex leaned his head forward. "Hey. I'm not going anywhere. If you need to go get her, then you should. I'll be fine here."
"Not while Green Arrow is out to kill you. He found out that your father killed his parents."
"And thus he wants to kill me? One of these days people will realize I'm the Luthor without hair."
With a wide, weary smile, Clark looked at Lex with fondness over-brimming in his eyes. "You're not dead, Lex. Only you could be making those dry jokes when you feel like this. I love that about you."
"Do you?"
"Yeah," Clark replied emphatically. He licked his lips. "I'm not leaving you without protection."
"Chloe-"
"I know. And I have to save her, but I need someone here, first." Clark swallowed and pulled a crest-shaped crystal out of his pocket. "I'll get my cousin. She'll help. You've taken care of her when she needed it."
"How far does your cell phone network reach?"
"Pretty far." Clark leaned back with Lex. "What can you tell me about this thing?"
Lex arched a brow and moved his fingers briefly over his control pad once again, scanning through his information.
"This thing is like a giant iPod," Clark joked, scooting closer to Lex.
"Do you forgive me for trying to kill you, Clark?"
"Do you forgive me?"
"I…" Lex settled on the information and let it play. He looked at Clark. "I love you like… I love you."
"I love you like I love you, too. And I'm sorry we didn't figure this out sooner."
"I'm amazed we managed it before blowing up the world in the process."
The sarcastic comment earned Lex another kiss, and Clark pulled off his suit jacket to drape around Lex's cold shoulders. He had been thinking of this moment since he'd regained his memory, planning and hoping that one day he would have this moment to step in and make the world shine for Lex once again. Right now Lex's body didn't seem to want to cooperate, but Clark was sure that if they kept working on trusting one another, he and Lex would both soon feel alive once again.