Fic: Must Be Dreaming, Chapter Thirteen
Title: Must Be Dreaming
Series/WIP: Sequel to So Much Dreaming
Pairing: Clex!
Rating: PG-13
Summary: After being abducted by aliens and discovering that Jonathan Kent is alive, Lex must come to grips with his shifting relationship with Clark and an unexpected pregnancy.
Spoilers: Through S5, after Cyborg.
Warnings: MPREG!!
Thanks to herohunter for the quick beta! ♥
Chapter One ♥ Chapter Two ♥ Chapter Three ♥ Chapter Four ♥ Chapter 5.1 ♥ Chapter 5.2 ♥ Chapter Six ♥ Chapter Seven ♥ Chapter Eight ♥ Chapter Nine ♥ Chapter Ten ♥ Chapter Eleven ♥ Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Water dripped. Cool, cold. Trickling down the sides of the ceiling every so often. Lana wrinkled her nose at the dismal place, wondering why she had come.
"This isn't exactly what I'd call a good time, Mr. Luthor." Her chin tilted upward as she slit her eyes at him. "Why did you bring me here?"
"Patience," Lionel urged. "All will reveal itself in due course."
"What does that even mean?" Lana asked. She jumped and shrieked as a hand reached out through the bars at the top of one on the doors.
Lionel put his hands around her narrow shoulders. "There, there, Lana. He can't reach you."
"What is this place?" she asked, her lip curling with disgust.
"As you are aware, many of the mutants in the area are quite dangerous," Lionel informed her. "Come along. We needed a place to restrain them while we work on improving their condition and their control over their powers."
"This is quite the undertaking you have here. Are these mutants all from the area?" she asked, her eyes roaming over the dank row of cells and the other hands that came out to greet them. Several of the prisoners shouted at them as they passed, spewing all manner of profanities, in various languages. "We'd all be better off if the meteor showers had never happened."
"I agree… but no, some came about in other ways. Their mutations are no less deleterious, however," Lionel informed her clinically.
Lana nodded gravely. "These poor people. They're lucky you found them."
"They don't always agree," Lionel replied in a nonchalant tone.
"They don't have to. The meteors mess with their judgment. They don't know what's good for them. These people who have been infected by the meteors -- they're dangerous. They've hurt me, and they've hurt people that I care about. The more we learn about them, the better we can protect ourselves." Lana looked on the cells coldly, until they approached one at the end of the hall, and Lionel held up his hand. Her eyes flitted upward. "What's this?"
"The young man we came to visit," Lionel explained. He nodded to a guard, who walked over to the cell and unlocked it as his partner held a gun on the cell.
"Stay back, freak!"
"What am I gonna do, prognosticate you to death?" the voice from inside the cell asked dryly. The door was opened wide and Lana looked inside.
"Kestrel!" she said in surprise. "I didn't know you were-"
"A freak? I'm not. I'm a witch, but these fuckheads can't seem to tell the difference," Kestrel replied, his flip and charismatic voice reduced to a low gravelly keen. He looked up at her from where he was bowed at the other side of the cell, his exhausted, bloodshot eyes burning brightly from his battered face. His wrists were red, rubbed bloody and raw by the restraints that were attached to the wall in his tiny cell that consisted of a slab of a bed and a toilet. "Did j'know that karma works? It works, my Queen. What you send out will come back; I promise you that."
Lana stepped closer. "The doctors want to help you, Kestrel."
"They aren't trying to help me. You can't find the truth if you won't listen," Kestrel urged.
Lana spread her hands and looked at him sympathetically. "You know that's true for you too, don't you? Kestrel, you need to listen to them. You can't do this on your own. Let them-"
"Let them what? Shove wires in my brain, so they can read what it's doing when I use my gift? Stick needles in my eyes and ask what I see?" Kestrel stood up abruptly and stared at her, narrowing his eyes at her with an anger that seemed to be bubbling over. "I have a message for you. I can see where you're gonna end up. But there's nothing I want to tell you anymore. You can go."
"Kes-" Lionel interrupted.
"All I'm gonna say, Lion, is this: If you don't leave your little mother alone, you're gonna regret it," Kestrel said flatly. His thin lips curved cruelly. "For more than that, you'll have to torture me again."
Lionel sighed. "We aren't here to harm you. We're here to help."
"Your definition of helping is pretty fuckin' skewed," Kestrel told them. He stepped back to his cold hard bunk and sat on it, staring at the wall.
"Kestrel, please listen for a minute," Lana pleaded. "You have to trust that this process is going to make you better. After time, you'll be able to control your ability. Whatever you did to get put in here, you know that the Luthors have more than enough power to get you out of it. As soon as you're ready, you can have a life again. So give this a chance, and the sooner you work with them, the sooner you can go home."
Kestrel didn't respond. He just rested his head against the cold cell and stared at the wall. Lionel put his hand on Lana's shoulder and guided her out of the room slowly.
"What was that about? What did he do?" Lana asked.
"I can show you his records soon enough. I have to say, I'm surprised that you weren't able to sway him," Lionel said with a deep frown.
"What's wrong?" Lana asked.
"I think I may have misjudged one of you. Hm." Lionel rubbed his beard thoughtfully as they walked back down the dank hallway toward Lionel's office.
***
"This… isn't too hard," Lex murmured, lowering himself onto a large, clear rubber ball. "Humiliating, but not hard."
As Lex lost his balance on the ball momentarily, he thought he may have spoken too soon, but he touched the wall and steadied himself with a sigh. He cupped the side of his belly and looked down with pursed lips.
"The things your daddy does for you. He must love you or something."
Lex rocked back and forth on the ball, trying to get a feel for sitting on it.
"Maybe we'll just schedule an early C-section instead." He looked down once again, addressing his daughter. "What do you think of that? Quick and clean, nothing left to chance, and then you can go back to sleep."
"I love it when you talk to her," Clark said as he entered the room. Lex gave him an irritable pout, but it only caused Clark to grin. "What are you doing?"
"I'm… practicing. Granted, it's a bit early, but if I'm going to do this without guidance, I had better start now," Lex replied, feeling the flush in his cheeks. He was wearing sweatpants and sitting on a giant ball. At the moment he could think of few things less embarrassing.
Unfazed, Clark crouched beside him. "Practicing for what?"
"For…" Lex paused, meeting Clark's eyes, then looking away quickly. "Birth."
"Birth?" Clark swallowed nervously. "Are you okay?"
"Well, as I said, it is early. I just… I can't bother Lena with this right now. Don't tell her. She just lost her son, and it wouldn't be right to be begging Lamaze partnership off of her." Lex shrugged. "She seemed like the natural choice before, but things have gotten very complicated."
Clark's lips formed an "O." He looked up and down Lex and the ball he was sitting on. "And this thing is supposed to help?"
"Supposed to." Lex looked at the ball. "Ideally, if you have a partner, they can help you balance yourself as you change positions, and the ball, if you don't fall off of it, is supposed to help you do that alone. Squatting is apparently a good position with gravity, and it's difficult to do without some help, or it will be, since I'll practically be a bathysphere by that time."
Clark gave him a hard look. "And… wait, you can have this baby? I mean… 'naturally'?"
Lex licked his lips slowly. "In theory. In reality, I'm having a C-section, but Tanaka advised me to prepare, since…" He wobbled his head from side to side. "Really we don't know what's going to happen or what we're doing."
"Where would it…?" Clark asked, still staring at Lex.
"Please, do not ask me that."
Clark bit his lip, and Lex could tell that he was trying not to laugh. Clark, Clark. Who lied the most without actually ever being good at it. Everything he was thinking was always so readable on his face.
"I wouldn't want to think about that either." Clark offered him a hand. "Well, why don't I be your partner? I'm strong; I could hold you up and help you move around."
"I suppose." Lex hesitated, and then he realized almost immediately that he didn't believe that if the time came and he were forced to do this the hard way, Clark would actually make it there. Surely something would come up, and he'd disappear, with the worst of explanations when he returned.
"Well, if you don't want me to be there…" Clark said almost apologetically.
"I would, I guess. I just… It's very hard for me to let people see me being vulnerable. I imagine that desire has all but been shattered with this pregnancy. Collapsing, getting sick over almost everything… crying…" Lex was red as a beat, but he closed his eyes to it.
"Oh, Lex, don't beat yourself up. Pregnant people cry. It's totally physical, with the hormones and everything. You and me being guys, we're like, programmed not to cry and it feels wrong, but you can't help that. Besides, I was being an idiot when you cried."
"That's not the only time I've done it," Lex admitted.
"I know," Clark replied softly.
Lex opened his eyes and frowned at Clark. "How do you know?"
"I'm guessing. I'm not completely retarded about these things."
Lex was about to shoot him an acerbic reply when Clark started rubbing his back. He held his tongue and looked over at the bright window. He'd chosen a room not too far from Clark's bedroom to practice this. One with a good view of the grounds and plenty of light.
"I like this room," Clark commented.
"You read my mind." Lex chuckled softly.
"Not hard. It's a good room. Positive. Bright. Most of the rooms here are so drab and depressing. Maybe you can get some warmth and light in here," Clark suggested. "The castle's like a tomb."
His broad hands on Lex's back had begun a decent massage, and Lex relaxed into him. "Maybe it was meant to be a tomb, but I made it my home."
"That… sounds like something out of a teenage vampire novel."
Lex laughed outright at that. He'd been trying to be dramatic, but somehow, Clark was able to break up his moods. He looked down at Clark, who was smiling softly as he kneaded the tight spots in Lex's muscles. "Maybe you could be my partner."
"Yeah? I got the job?"
"You're on probation. We'll see."
"Hee. Do you have a lot of other applicants? Mercy? Chloe? Domovoi?"
"I think Mercy and I would both rather peel our top layer of skin off before having her see me with legs akimbo pushing a baby out of- Chloe might do. She's naturally very empathetic, but it would be a lot like having a copy of myself in the delivery room. I'd stare at me like something to be studied, and I think she might too. I can't fault her for it, logically, but it would make me uncomfortable, and Tanaka stares at me enough," Lex explained to Clark, who had begun to move his hands to Lex's shoulders. Lex sighed.
"And Domovoi?"
"Domovoi… I'd consider him, honestly, if you weren't here. Probably end up using him. I've had some pretty unconscionable employees over the years, but he's always been quite loyal and a good confidant, in the few times I've talked to him."
"I know nothing about this guy," Clark complained.
"He's a private man," Lex returned flippantly. "It isn't as though you eagerly share your secrets."
"So he has a secret?" Clark pressed, although in a playful tone.
Lex found that his mood was much improved, so he simply smiled instead of getting sore about the subject. "Everyone has a secret, Clark. Multiple secrets, even."
"Multiple!" Clark exclaimed with a laugh. "My curiosity abounds."
"Abounds? Clark, you're spending too much time around me."
"You improve my diction. My junior English professor said so. I had her for freshman English, too, so she had a basis of comparison."
"Is she the one who assigned you Nietzsche?"
"Heh. Yeah. Our class really, really did not get Thus, Spake Zarathustra. We had a whole unit over it. I think after that, Kwan told her not to give that to freshmen anymore-there were parents coming in to complain 'cause it opposes Christian stuff, you know-but then Reynolds took over, and she kept doing it. It was more philosophy class than English class that year. I hear she has a unit over Philip Pullman, now."
"Oh, that's excellent. And I bet Reynolds is the only principal who would let her do it, too, particularly around here."
"Pretty much." Clark laughed softly, then looked up at Lex until Lex turned his head to meet his eyes.
"What?"
"Let me help you up. This thing doesn't look steady."
Before Lex could respond, Clark gently slid his arms under Lex's armpits and lifted him up easily. Taking a moment to steady himself on his feet, Lex took a deep breath and held on to Clark's arms.
"You okay?"
"Yes, I just get a bit dizzy moving too quickly to my feet. Don't worry about it. If you're holding me, it isn't a problem," Lex explained. "Can't fall."
Clark's embrace grew a little tighter. "So. How do I do this Lamaze thing?"
"You're asking me?"
"Well, I don't know anything about that. I could ask my mo-"
"No. Clark, I don't want anyone else to know. Really. If your mother knows, then she'll tell my father; she won't mean to tell, probably, but she will, and if my father knows, my child and I are in danger," Lex insisted. He wiggled a little to get Clark to let him go, but Clark wasn't doing that.
"You're right, Lex. I promise you. I won't tell. Okay?"
"Okay."
Clark released him and stepped back, looking like he didn't know what to do with his arms if they weren't around Lex. "So. What now? Do you still want to practice?"
"Maybe I could get a video. I did read about a few positions." Lex looked around the room. There was a very soft, lightly colored blue rug over the expansive floor. He hadn't fully addressed what he'd do with this room, but for now, he wanted it to be a safe space in case he really had to do this, even though he really didn't want to. "From what I'm reading, if I'm able to change positions, it could take less time." He shrugged. "I unreservedly support that."
"Yeah? Well, the sooner she gets here, the better!" Clark said cheerfully, and Lex let him indulge in a belly rub.
Lex walked out into the middle of the room. "Okay, the first one…. Come over here and face me."
Clark did as he was told, raising a brow curiously.
"The idea is that we practice the positions so when the time comes, they'll feel natural and familiar," Lex told Clark and looked up at him anxiously. "We don't want to feel like labor is an emergency while it's happening. Something might happen that is an emergency, and we'll be careful, of course, but otherwise, we need to remain calm and confident, if we can."
"Yeah. Okay. I'm here." Clark reached forward and paused. "What do we do first?"
"Um, there's one called the Slow Dance." Lex paused and took a breath as he reached up and hung his arms around Clark's neck. He'd expended most of his knowledge about this in his little speech.
Clark chuckled. "Slow dance. Got it. Okay. Can I? My hands?"
"Around my waist, holding me up."
"Done." Clark wrapped his arms around Lex, holding him closely. "What now? We dance?"
"Maybe a little. Like this, upright or walking around, uses gravity to help things along."
"You sound like such an expert," Clark whispered. "Lean on me more. I bet in this one, I could support your weight if you're tired."
"I'm not an expert. You catch on fast," Lex replied, tightening his arms around Clark's neck and resting his chin on Clark's shoulder. He could feel his heart speeding up from being so close to Clark's warm, muscular body. "Maybe we should switch-"
"Dance with me a little, Lex." Clark swayed from side to side with Lex. "Try to relax."
"Trying."
"I know that's next to impossible for you."
"You know what bothers me? All these guides talk about women having the intuitive knowledge within themselves, so they'll know exactly what to do when they go into labor," Lex said quietly.
"Is that too froofy for you?"
"Well, I'm not a woman. How am I supposed to know?" Lex trailed off when he realized that Clark was smelling his neck as they danced. Lex shivered a little.
"Cold? I can get you a sweater," Clark offered.
Lex shook his head and pulled back. "So. So there's that one. Could you get the ball?"
"Please don't be so nervous, okay?" Clark said as he went to fetch the ball. "I'm just here to help you."
"Have you done your homework?" Lex asked suddenly.
"No, mommy." Clark rolled his eyes and stood before Lex with the ball. "Okay, what do we do with this?"
"You should put it down and go down do your homework," Lex instructed.
With a sigh, Clark set the ball down and took Lex's hand. "I'll do it after we've practiced this a little. You wouldn't be in here if you weren't nervous about it, and you'll be less nervous once you've put some effort toward the problem."
Lex pursed his lips and let Clark help him down to the carpeted floor. He put his hands on the ball, lowered himself and leaned over it. "This one's supposed to have a gravity benefit as well, and I can lean forward if there's too much pressure on my back."
"This sounds really complicated. Should I be doing anything?" Clark asked sitting beside Lex, who had his cheek pressed against the ball.
"Well, when we get there you can give me a massa-"
"On it."
"I'm not in labor now."
"Doesn't matter. It's practice, right?" Clark started to rub Lex's lower back. "Is there anything else? Should you be breathing or something?"
"I am breathing."
"I mean like…" Clark paused, then started huffing in and out. "Hee hee hee, hooooo! Hee hee heeeee, hoooooo!"
Lex bit his lower lip and shook with laughter. He'd never seen anything more ridiculous in his life. "Oh, God, stop that!"
Clark did a few more, then leaned over Lex to hug him from behind. His hand slipped over Lex's belly and gently caressed there too. "Your daddy is too uptight, babygirl. I have to make him laugh… She's laughing, too."
"You…" Lex gasped helplessly. "Are ridiculous!"
"I know." Clark sighed.
Lex began to roll the ball back and forth a little. "You use the ball for sitting on, and like this. Stretching out the muscles." He drew in a deep breath, then let it out slowly.
"This is more what I meant about the breathing."
"Yeah, I should probably try to focus on that when we practice."
"I'll remind you."
Lex could feel Clark's lips brushing against the nape of his neck. He was smelling Lex again, almost as though he couldn't help himself.
Maybe he couldn't.
"Breathe, Lex."
"Yeah." Lex swallowed tensely. We can do this. "Um, for the next position, since I already practiced sitting on the ball…" His eyes scanned the room. "Let's use those pillows over there."
To the left of the room, near one of the bright windows, was a pile of pillows that Domovoi had just brought in that morning. The colors were in light blues and greens. Clark again helped Lex up, holding onto him securely once Lex was to his feet to be sure that he wouldn't fall, and they moved over to the pillow pile.
"What happens here?" Clark asked as Lex lowered himself to the ground once again.
"I sit." Lex crossed his legs, taking a few breaths and feeling the soft rug beneath him. "This one's okay." He unfolded his legs and moved back onto the pillows.
"And what do I do?" Clark scooted closer to him.
"Depends on what's happening, I would think. You could…"
"Sit here like a lump while you do all the work?" Clark offered.
Lex chuckled. "Maybe. Rub my feet. Or hold… me."
"From the side?" Clark gave a curious frown and came closer. "Or from behind?"
"Either… I suppose," Lex replied stiffly.
Clark leaned Lex forward a bit as he slipped behind him, settling his legs on either side of Lex. "Aw. From here I can rub your back…." Clark demonstrated a moment, then pulled Lex closer. "Or your thighs." Clark rubbed there too, in demonstration.
Surely, I will die from this tender treatment, Lex thought, hoping he wouldn't get hard with Clark right here, touching him like this.
"Or, I could just hold you, like you said." Clark's arms wrapped around Lex, and his head lay on Lex's shoulder. "I like Lamaze."
"D-do you?"
"Breathe, Lex."
"I'm breathing," Lex snapped.
Clark began to take long, deep breaths, and soon, Lex joined him, not minding when Clark's hands began to roam again, touching Lex's sides and resting over his own on his belly.
"We should get some music in here. Some of the classical and opera music you like that will help you bliss out," Clark suggested in a near whisper. "That way, we can use this room for de-stressing, even if you don't have to use the stuff we practice in here."
"That's a good idea," Lex murmured. His eyes fell closed, and he kept on breathing, just feeling Clark's warmth against him and his daughter's slight movements inside him.
Clark's lips brushed against his neck, and Lex moved his hand to stop his friend, but instead it just lightly touched his hair, and Clark began giving gentle kisses to his neck.
"Clark," Lex whispered in protest, but when Clark met his eye, Lex couldn't stop himself from tilting his head to meet Clark's lips. So they kissed, passionately, as though driven, and Clark's hands held Lex's body firmly to him, one hand around the lower curve of his stomach and the other securely around his chest.
Lex's back was still flush to Clark's chest, and he felt almost as though he were overheating because Clark was so warm, and Lex just felt so, so hot. Even so, he couldn't tear his lips away from Clark's, and he almost just wanted to melt into Clark's heat.
After several long moments, he felt Clark's hand on his cheek pulling them apart as Clark whispered softly, "Breathe, Lex."
Lex blinked a few times, trying to get a hold of himself. "I…"
"I know." Clark leaned in to kiss him again, but Lex pulled his head back and started to push away. To his surprise, Clark let him crawl out onto the floor and pick himself up, although he looked terribly disappointed.
"That's enough for today," Lex said shakily, holding onto the wall.
"Lex-"
"I know. Breathe."
"No, I mean… I'm sorry. I… I know we haven't talked about it, but you want it, and so do I, so why can't we try-"
"Because you don't really," Lex said firmly. He looked down at the lush carpet.
"Yes. Yes, I do, Lex," Clark said in surprise. "How can I prove that to you?" Clark kept his distance, but when Lex looked up, he saw the hurt in Clark's face.
"Clark, do you even know what you're getting into? How do you know that you really feel this way?"
Clark hesitated. "Why… would I not feel this way? Lex, I… I've always… Lex, I love you."
Lex pressed his lips together and stared at Clark hard, wishing he could trust himself, or the words coming out of Clark's mouth. Was it true? Or did he just feel that way because of what Fine had done to him?
"You don't believe me. Um. Okay." Clark carded his fingers through his hair. "I don't know how to make you believe it. I mean, I don't think I recognized it for a while, because it wasn't how I felt for Lana, and I only recently realized that the way I felt for Lana, it was more idealism than it ever was love. But the way I felt about you was scary, and maybe I've acted stupidly because of it, but that doesn't mean that I want to be near you any less."
'"It's not just me you're going to be near, if you do this, you know," Lex replied, hating himself more with every word, because there was nothing he wanted more than this, and he was willfully pushing it away. "It's never just me, not anymore. It's me, and it's my daughter, and I cannot risk having you coming in and out of her life, if you really don't mean this-"
"Lex!" Clark protested, stepping closer.
"Are you sure you aren't just feeling romantic towards me because I'm pregnant, helpless, and alone?" Lex asked peevishly.
Clark stopped still at that, tilting his head to the side, almost looking angry, but not quite. Lex swallowed and looked away again, forcing himself to control this surge of emotions.
After what seemed like a long time, Clark whispered, "Are you sure you're not resisting this because you're pregnant, helpless, and alone? I know part of it is me, but… I haven't heard anything here about you not wanting me. Maybe you don't like that things had to get like this for you to get me, and maybe I'm just… a jerk because I didn't realize it before Fine made me understand that I could lose you for good."
Lex looked up at him with tired eyes. "No. I'm not saying anything about not wanting you. That is a significant problem to all of this. I don't trust my judgment around you anymore. I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry." Clark sighed heavily and rolled his shoulders. "Look, you came here not to be stressed, and… I meant what I said, about loving you. I've felt that way for awhile now."
"And the rest of this? You can handle it? And not leave again, that's what I mean," Lex clarified.
"You're just going to have to trust me," Clark pleaded. "Trust that I'm trying to be here."
"And my daughter? What about her?"
"Your daughter? I-"
"Are you ready to be with someone who's going to be a parent very soon?" Lex asked in a gravelly voice. He licked his lips, waiting for Clark to answer for a few seconds, but then said, "Are you ready to be a parent?"
Clark's mouth opened. "I haven't thought about it like that. But that doesn't mean I don't love you."
"Let's not kid ourselves on how rough this is going to be, Clark. We had problems before I got knocked up. It's only going to become harder and harder for you that this child isn't yours." Lex felt his face pinching. He needed Clark to get the picture of what they were facing here. "And I want you to think about that before you try to get close to me."
Clark crossed his arms, frowning with that stern look of his. "I'm not going to fight with you. I don't know what you want me to say."
Rubbing his temple, Lex walked toward the door, saying nothing. He sucked in his lower lip, expecting that Clark would passively stand there, unable to come up with any further response or any convincing argument, and Lex would end up in the library, alone and hating himself for pushing away the only person he could be with right now.
He was pretty far down the hall when Clark's large arms took him from behind. "I have to go do my homework, because my best friend won't forgive me if I don't, but I'm coming back for dinner, and then he has to talk to me."
"I hope your homework is enlightening," Lex said in a flat voice.
"Actually, I don't think it could be any more enlightening than the past ten minutes have been."
Then Clark's warm lips wrapped around the bump on the back of Lex's head and sucked back in a kiss that might have left a mark and definitely made a smacking sound. Lex laughed softly.
"Have some faith, Lex. I'll see you later. Try to get your bliss on, and go hang with your sister, at least a little. She's not going to shatter because you're having your baby," Clark said.
Lex pursed his lips and sighed. Clark let him go and walked in the other direction, and Lex closed his eyes, hoping, so hard, that when Clark came back he would be able to at least recognize what lay before them. Nothing simple, nothing easy, but a host of complex problems that were both painful and magnificent. And Lex didn't want to tackle them with anyone else.
"I'm such an idiot," Lex whispered to himself, touching his temple and wishing he hadn't started that. Not then, not when he and Clark could have been kissing and enjoying one another's company.
After several moments of standing there and hating himself, Lex realized that his feet hurt, and he had work to do. He was going to go into the office for a few hours.
***
"You never talk about yourself." Chloe leaned on her hand and narrowed her eyes. "You know all about me and my drama. I mean, you drove me here. But I don't really know anything about you."
"I guess I've gotten used to hiding who I really am. You know, you've got the powers, the past, the Sapphic tendencies." Mercy sat back, reclining in her seat. Her sunglasses were pushed back over her short, dark hair, and she was still wearing the suit she sported as Lex's assistant, despite having gotten the afternoon off to take Chloe to Regan Hospital in Grandville.
Chloe laughed. "Yeah, that part… definitely not something I go out of my way to tell people about, growing up in a small, rural Kansas town. It seemed like when I went to Metropolis Public Junior High 113, everyone and their sister was bi, but at our high school?" She shook her head and sipped her diet soda. "We had one one lady of the flowers, and she was a psycho-killer bent on reliving Single White Female with Lana Lang."
"Clearly the girl didn't have any taste." Mercy shrugged.
"So what was high school like for Mercy Graves? Chloe asked, crossing her legs at the knee.
"Didn't go. I was in foster care for a long time and moved around." Mercy slipped one hand into her pocket.
"And how'd you meet your boss?"
"I stole his car. Out of a high security garage in Metropolis. He was impressed. He tracked me down, but he was impressed." Mercy looked up at the ceiling. "Well, you know this. He appreciates talent, and he appreciates loyalty. I'm not surprised that he's handpicked you and me. Heh." She looked over at Chloe with a warm smile. "I thought you'd end up working against us, at first, and that was pretty damn sad, for a woman as smart as you. Having you sitting here beside me; it really gives me hope."
Chloe dipped her head. "I think hope is a hard thing to have sometimes, especially like this. I've not been the luckiest in relationships." Her hand moved over to touch Mercy's thigh. "And we hope that things don't grow worse in the fight we're in, but who knows?"
"At least your dad loves me," Mercy teased.
"You know, he really does," Chloe agreed with a tinge of surprise. "Hard to gauge him sometimes."
"I like your dad," Mercy said. She reached around and hugged Chloe to her chest.
Chloe was silent for a moment, pressing her lips together and resting her head on Mercy's soft breasts. She really hated this place, but it was a lot better having someone with her.
"I hope you like my mom, too," Chloe whispered.
"Oh, I will. I mean, it bugs me that she abandoned you-"
"It's hard to stick around when you're having a mental breakdown."
"Do you two get along?" Mercy asked.
"Sometimes. Sometimes she's better. Sometimes, she's just not all there," Chloe admitted.
Mercy was trailing her fingers though Chloe's silky blond hair. "Well, I'll be there with you."
She kissed the top of Chloe's head and sighed as she saw a nurse in pink scrubs approaching them. She would lead them back to Gillian Sullivan's room, and Mercy would stay by Chloe as long as she needed someone there. Her kitten would be strong; she hoped.
***
"Oh… oh, ew!"
Clark had done his homework quickly, and since it was an early day for him as far as classes went and he was caught up on his larger projects, he had decided to go home for a few hours. There was plenty of time until dinner, and Clark wanted to stay out of Lex's way. It was like walking on glass sometimes with him lately, and Clark figured, because he wasn't completely clueless, that whatever doubts Lex had about them were compounded by his issues about being pregnant and looking weak.
He was pretty damn sure that a lot of it had to do with that, actually, because Clark also knew that Lex was more than a little afraid of doing this alone. It seemed, however, that he was also more than prepared to do it alone, if he couldn't find someone reliable to lean on.
So Clark was at the family computer, doing Google Seppuku to find whatever he could about pregnancy. For one thing, it was gross and there were a billion symptoms he hoped Lex wasn't suffering from. For another, Clark couldn't believe how big some of these women were! Poor Lex! Come November, he might explode.
"Clark? That you?" Jonathan called into the room before he poked his head in.
Clark quickly shut down the screen and turned around. Ninja quick. Just like in high school. "Hey, Dad. I didn't know you'd be done with your chores yet."
"Yeah, well, almost." Jonathan entered the room, putting his hands in his pockets and looking around. He bunched his lips together and looked at his son. "How are you doin', Clark? Has it been okay at Lex's? I figure if you were coming home, you'd say so."
"I'm surprised you're leaving it up to me," Clark said honestly.
"Well…" Jonathan pulled up a chair. "You're not a kid anymore. And I understand that you're having trouble dealing with what your mom and I have messed up in our marriage, because you should. We're distracting you more than you need while you're trying to get back on track."
"I'm not mad at you guys. There's just a lot going on right now," Clark confessed. He folded his hands, stared at them for a moment, then looked up at his father. "Dad, how did you ever decide you were okay about raising Lionel Luthor's baby? Wouldn't you always know that she wasn't yours? Wouldn't it be hard?"
"Well, not so much as you might think." Jonathan looked around, then pushed himself up and motioned for Clark to follow him.
Clark had already heard his mother bustling around in the attic, so he knew she was around. He walked with his father outside, where they strolled side by side for a moment or two before his father began speaking again.
"Clark, I was always aware that you… weren't really my son, but at the same time, it never, ever mattered. Your mother always said that we didn't find you. You found us. Now I know you think of things much more literally than your mom and I, but I've always kind of believed that about any child. Maybe it came out of having you. Maybe not."
"Is that why you decided that mom not being able to have a kid was your fault? That no child was going to find you if you weren't a good father?" Clark asked, raising a brow.
"Maybe. Anyway, I thought… I looked at Lex, and I thought, here's a kid that should have been adopted. Should have found a better set of parents than the man and woman that raised him."
"What was wrong with his mother?"
"I don't know. But a good mother isn't going to let a man like Lionel Luthor treat his son the way he did," Jonathan replied sternly. "Regardless, I thought… It didn't matter. It didn't matter if somehow it really was my fault, biologically speaking, that your mother couldn't have children. It didn't matter if we adopted another one, and if that one was a Luthor, because at the time, well, you remember how it was when Lex came over."
Clark flushed a little. Oh, he remembered.
He remembered sleeping in the same bed with Lex and feeling so funny in his stomach. Rubbing his eyes all night because they burned like they might go off and that just wasn't possible!
"Yeah, what about it?" Clark asked.
"I thought at the time, what a good farmer Lex would have made. I thought, what a good man Lex might still make, because he tries, even with that Lionel breathing fire down his neck." Jonathan looked over at the horizon. "You weren't really ours, but we made a Kent out of you. So I decided that I wouldn't love that baby any less for not having my genes. I don't need that to make my family, and I would love Martha all the more to make up for our mistakes. But, at the time, I thought… if it weren't for all our complete screw-ups, Clark, that baby wouldn't have existed."
Clark met his father's eye as he looked up at him and raised his brows. "You really wouldn't care? You would have raised that kid just like it was yours?"
"Son, I had no intention of ever telling your mother than I knew it wasn't." Jonathan shrugged. "Not every man can go in and raise another man's baby. Honestly, I didn't think I had it in me to be that big-hearted, but when it comes to Martha, we have our fights, and I'm a bit of a controlling ass sometimes, but I love her more than anything, and if that means that she gets what she wants-a baby of her own to raise-even if I was no part of its creation? I'm gonna be there for her every step of the way."
Jonathan shook his head and looked at the barn. "Or I would have. If not for the accident. That's life sometimes, though."
"I know. It's been really hard on Lex and Lena," Clark said, thinking that if Lex lost his daughter, he might die himself.
"Hard. Especially hard to understand why." Jonathan shrugged again. "You going back over there tonight?"
"Yeah, I promised Lex I'd be there for dinner."
Jonathan nodded. "Well, how about you give us a few days, and then at least come back for Sunday dinner with us? Maybe this would be a good time for you to try to make a bit of a break. I know it hurts Martha to let you go, but maybe if we do it little by little, it'll help."
"I'll come by." Clark grinned, slapping his father's back. "Thanks for talking to me about this, Dad."
"Well, we can't sweep things under the rug forever." Jonathan turned and gave his son a tight hug.
"No, I guess you can't." Clark let go and shoved his hands in his jean pockets, looking up at the barn window that he'd looked out so many times growing up. He didn't spend a lot of time staring up at it from this angle.
Trust me, Clark. Our friendship is going to be the stuff of legends.
We have a complicated relationship, Clark. My father wants me to believe it's built on trust, but it's not. It's built on lies and deceit. Any relationship with that foundation is destined to fail. Lucky we don't have that problem.
I will never become my father. I would never sacrifice you or anybody I cared about to bring him down.
For a moment, Clark blinked and almost saw himself standing there with Lex, talking Greek history or destiny, sharing his woes in chasing high school girls or normality.
Lex. Why does your father hate you so much?
Take care of yourself, Clark.
Maybe the reason Lex was so hesitant to trust him was deeper than his fears about the pregnancy. Maybe there was more to it than Clark even knew, since there were secrets that Lex had kept and never shared. Secrets that Clark had never shared. Lex was when they'd met, after all, about the same age Clark was now. They had been too in love and too young not to mess it all up.
"Dad, I need to get going. I'll give you guys a call later, okay?" Clark looked at his father, who simply smiled.
"Alright, Clark. It was good talking to you."
Clark nodded and sped off toward the castle.
***
Gray mist clouded Lex’s field of vision, and nausea rose up in his throat, building, grinding up against his gullet. He couldn’t determine whether he was awake or asleep. At the moment he didn’t particularly care. He just wanted something, anything to stop the pain in his head and stomach.
“He’s waking up.”
Lex rolled his head around and tried to push himself up.
“No! Lex, please! Please, relax.”
Letting himself fall back, Lex narrowed his eyes and tried to focus a bit better. “Where am I? Who… who is that? Tanaka?”
“No, Lex. I’m Dr. Largess. You’re at Metropolis General. Do you remember what happened?”
“Perhaps you’d better let him sleep some more,” a second voice suggested.
“No, let’s give him an idea of where he is first. He’ll be more cooperative during tests if he knows we’re here to take care of him. He may be confused,” the first voice insisted. “Lex, take this. It’s water.”
A cold glass was pressed into his hand, and he looked around dizzily. “I feel sick.”
“You’ve been injured. Please, don’t try to move.”
Lex felt his heart leap into his throat. “How… how badly? What happened? Is… is…”
He could neither bring himself to ask nor risk it. Somehow, however, the voices seemed to know. One of the two people in the room touched his arm, and he felt too sluggish to pull away.
“Don’t strain yourself, son.”
Lex’s breathing sped up, and he became less certain he wasn’t having one of his nightmares. “Dad?”
“Yes, Lex. It’s me. I’m here.” Rough fingers caressed his head. “Really, Lex, in your condition, you’re going to have to be much more cautious.”
“I… in my… I think I’m going to throw up.”
“Don’t be so dramatic,” Lionel scoffed.
Dr. Largess made a dissatisfied noise, and soon Lex felt someone helping him lean over to a waste receptacle. Sure enough, he vomited quite forcefully, more than once.
“Use the water to clean out your mouth, Lex,” the doctor advised. “We’ll get you some more water.”
Lex obeyed, swishing the water around and then spitting it into the receptacle as well. Firm hands pressed him back into the bed, and he blinked at the ceiling a few times.
“Not dramatic,” Lex muttered.
“No, sir,” the doctor said pointedly. “You aren’t. But you should rest. When you are feeling better, we may try to do some blood work, but it will have to wait.”
Lex could hear the doctor stepping back. Anxiously, he looked to his father. Now he could make out most of Lionel’s face, so at least he wasn’t going blind.
“Lex?” Lionel moved a chair over and sat by his bed, taking Lex’s hand. “I can see what you’re thinking on your face, Lex, but I’m not here to harm you. I would have preferred it if you had merely told me about this strange turn of events. I am your father.”
“What turn of events?’
Lionel’s hand cupped over his stomach, but when Lex winced and tried to pull away, his father removed his hand quite quickly. “I apologize. I didn’t mean to startle you. We’re here to take care of you, Lex, and your unborn child.”
Lex was feeling faintly sick again. Lionel took Lex’s hand in his own and guided it over to the side of the bed.
”Here. Feel that? This button will call a doctor for you if you’re feeling worse, or if you think something is wrong with the baby.” Lionel squeezed Lex’s hand gently. “Son, I’m here for you. I know that you have issues trusting me, but you need to be taken care of right now.”
“Where’s Clark? And Lena?” Lex asked. It had just occurred to him that if he’d been injured then there was nothing on heaven and earth that could keep Clark from coming.
“We can talk about that later, Lex,” Lionel replied in a tone so gentle that it ran shivers up Lex’s spine.
He jerked his hand away and moved away from his father on the bed. The sudden panic seemed to make the room clearer, although it told him nothing, really. It looked like a large private hospital room at Metropolis General, which would make reasonable sense, and he recognized stark white walls and the pattern along the bottom from the last time he’d been admitted here. He was in a double bed with soft blue sheets. Lionel must have ordered it so, and it was something he’d done before when Lex had overdosed on a special brew that one of his club associates had created. There was a large window to his right, but heavy blue drapes blocked any sunlight that might have come through. The room was furnished with a long sofa beneath the window, a rocking chair in the corner, and a breakfast table around the corner of the wall. The bathroom was within a few steps of the bed, if he needed it. Overall, it was a posh little set up. Still, he felt uneasy with the way his father was behaving. There was something he wasn’t telling him.
“Where. Is. Clark,” he demanded.
Lionel tensed and looked to the door, as though waiting on reinforcements or expecting Clark to come busting through it any moment. Then he looked back to Lex and folded his hands before looking Lex directly in the eye. “Lex, I’m very sorry. Your friend is dead.”
“Dead,” Lex repeated dumbly. “Clark can’t be dead.”
“Son, please listen to me-“
“No. Clark is not dead. I’d know if he were dead,” Lex's protesting voice came out rapidly as he tried to leave the bed.
The doctor moved quickly to the side of the bed and held him down. “You must remain in bed, Lex.”
Lionel hit the button beside the bed and a nurse came in with a needle.
“Don’t!” Lex cried. “You can’t give me that! I’m pregnant!”
“It’ll be fine, Lex. It’s a sedative. It’s safe,” the doctor crooned into his ear.
The nurse leaned over him and pulled up the sleeve of his hospital pajamas. “This will help you sleep.”
“I don’t want to sleep!” Lex protested. This had to be one of his nightmares. He winced as the needle sank into his arm. Dr. Largess held him tightly until he began to feel the effects of the sedative, and Lex was laid gently back on the bed. His eyes rolled around between the three people standing over him. “Dad, don’t do this…”
“This is all for your own good, Lex. You’ll see.” Lionel’s hand was petting his head now. “You were both attacked, and Clark was killed saving you and your child. He died as your friend.”
Lex couldn’t bring himself to push Lionel’s hand away. Clark could not be dead. That was just too much. Too tragic and too unfair for them to have been finally becoming close like Lex had always wanted. And Lex, like the idiot he'd always been had pushed him away. He knew that there were things that could hurt Clark, had hurt him in the past, but…
“I don’t remember an attack,” Lex murmured sleepily.
“Post-traumatic stress, Lex. You’ll remember eventually. Or maybe not. Perhaps it would be best if that memory didn’t come back immediately.” Lionel grew quiet for a moment. “Did Clark know about your child? I think if he did, he must have done what he did for the both of you.”
Lex closed his eyes in defeat. I would know. I would feel Clark dying, like I did last time… but if I don’t remember when it happened. He just… he can’t.
Lionel moved his hand to touch Lex’s belly. Lex grabbed his wrist firmly and opened his eyes. “It’s not public property.”
“Alright, Lex.” With a shake of the head, Lionel held his hands up. “Alright. Please, just relax.”
“What’s wrong… with me?” Lex let his head fall to the side so he could see his father better. The nurse was fixing an IV to his arm. “No. What are you doing?”
“This is just to keep you well hydrated, okay?” she replied softly.
She sounded very far away, and Lex’s let his eyes roll back as the world began to fade away again. He frowned at the white, white ceiling. He blinked sluggishly and noticed a drop of water rolling down the corner of where the ceiling met the walls.
“There’s…”
Series/WIP: Sequel to So Much Dreaming
Pairing: Clex!
Rating: PG-13
Summary: After being abducted by aliens and discovering that Jonathan Kent is alive, Lex must come to grips with his shifting relationship with Clark and an unexpected pregnancy.
Spoilers: Through S5, after Cyborg.
Warnings: MPREG!!
Thanks to herohunter for the quick beta! ♥
Chapter One ♥ Chapter Two ♥ Chapter Three ♥ Chapter Four ♥ Chapter 5.1 ♥ Chapter 5.2 ♥ Chapter Six ♥ Chapter Seven ♥ Chapter Eight ♥ Chapter Nine ♥ Chapter Ten ♥ Chapter Eleven ♥ Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Water dripped. Cool, cold. Trickling down the sides of the ceiling every so often. Lana wrinkled her nose at the dismal place, wondering why she had come.
"This isn't exactly what I'd call a good time, Mr. Luthor." Her chin tilted upward as she slit her eyes at him. "Why did you bring me here?"
"Patience," Lionel urged. "All will reveal itself in due course."
"What does that even mean?" Lana asked. She jumped and shrieked as a hand reached out through the bars at the top of one on the doors.
Lionel put his hands around her narrow shoulders. "There, there, Lana. He can't reach you."
"What is this place?" she asked, her lip curling with disgust.
"As you are aware, many of the mutants in the area are quite dangerous," Lionel informed her. "Come along. We needed a place to restrain them while we work on improving their condition and their control over their powers."
"This is quite the undertaking you have here. Are these mutants all from the area?" she asked, her eyes roaming over the dank row of cells and the other hands that came out to greet them. Several of the prisoners shouted at them as they passed, spewing all manner of profanities, in various languages. "We'd all be better off if the meteor showers had never happened."
"I agree… but no, some came about in other ways. Their mutations are no less deleterious, however," Lionel informed her clinically.
Lana nodded gravely. "These poor people. They're lucky you found them."
"They don't always agree," Lionel replied in a nonchalant tone.
"They don't have to. The meteors mess with their judgment. They don't know what's good for them. These people who have been infected by the meteors -- they're dangerous. They've hurt me, and they've hurt people that I care about. The more we learn about them, the better we can protect ourselves." Lana looked on the cells coldly, until they approached one at the end of the hall, and Lionel held up his hand. Her eyes flitted upward. "What's this?"
"The young man we came to visit," Lionel explained. He nodded to a guard, who walked over to the cell and unlocked it as his partner held a gun on the cell.
"Stay back, freak!"
"What am I gonna do, prognosticate you to death?" the voice from inside the cell asked dryly. The door was opened wide and Lana looked inside.
"Kestrel!" she said in surprise. "I didn't know you were-"
"A freak? I'm not. I'm a witch, but these fuckheads can't seem to tell the difference," Kestrel replied, his flip and charismatic voice reduced to a low gravelly keen. He looked up at her from where he was bowed at the other side of the cell, his exhausted, bloodshot eyes burning brightly from his battered face. His wrists were red, rubbed bloody and raw by the restraints that were attached to the wall in his tiny cell that consisted of a slab of a bed and a toilet. "Did j'know that karma works? It works, my Queen. What you send out will come back; I promise you that."
Lana stepped closer. "The doctors want to help you, Kestrel."
"They aren't trying to help me. You can't find the truth if you won't listen," Kestrel urged.
Lana spread her hands and looked at him sympathetically. "You know that's true for you too, don't you? Kestrel, you need to listen to them. You can't do this on your own. Let them-"
"Let them what? Shove wires in my brain, so they can read what it's doing when I use my gift? Stick needles in my eyes and ask what I see?" Kestrel stood up abruptly and stared at her, narrowing his eyes at her with an anger that seemed to be bubbling over. "I have a message for you. I can see where you're gonna end up. But there's nothing I want to tell you anymore. You can go."
"Kes-" Lionel interrupted.
"All I'm gonna say, Lion, is this: If you don't leave your little mother alone, you're gonna regret it," Kestrel said flatly. His thin lips curved cruelly. "For more than that, you'll have to torture me again."
Lionel sighed. "We aren't here to harm you. We're here to help."
"Your definition of helping is pretty fuckin' skewed," Kestrel told them. He stepped back to his cold hard bunk and sat on it, staring at the wall.
"Kestrel, please listen for a minute," Lana pleaded. "You have to trust that this process is going to make you better. After time, you'll be able to control your ability. Whatever you did to get put in here, you know that the Luthors have more than enough power to get you out of it. As soon as you're ready, you can have a life again. So give this a chance, and the sooner you work with them, the sooner you can go home."
Kestrel didn't respond. He just rested his head against the cold cell and stared at the wall. Lionel put his hand on Lana's shoulder and guided her out of the room slowly.
"What was that about? What did he do?" Lana asked.
"I can show you his records soon enough. I have to say, I'm surprised that you weren't able to sway him," Lionel said with a deep frown.
"What's wrong?" Lana asked.
"I think I may have misjudged one of you. Hm." Lionel rubbed his beard thoughtfully as they walked back down the dank hallway toward Lionel's office.
***
"This… isn't too hard," Lex murmured, lowering himself onto a large, clear rubber ball. "Humiliating, but not hard."
As Lex lost his balance on the ball momentarily, he thought he may have spoken too soon, but he touched the wall and steadied himself with a sigh. He cupped the side of his belly and looked down with pursed lips.
"The things your daddy does for you. He must love you or something."
Lex rocked back and forth on the ball, trying to get a feel for sitting on it.
"Maybe we'll just schedule an early C-section instead." He looked down once again, addressing his daughter. "What do you think of that? Quick and clean, nothing left to chance, and then you can go back to sleep."
"I love it when you talk to her," Clark said as he entered the room. Lex gave him an irritable pout, but it only caused Clark to grin. "What are you doing?"
"I'm… practicing. Granted, it's a bit early, but if I'm going to do this without guidance, I had better start now," Lex replied, feeling the flush in his cheeks. He was wearing sweatpants and sitting on a giant ball. At the moment he could think of few things less embarrassing.
Unfazed, Clark crouched beside him. "Practicing for what?"
"For…" Lex paused, meeting Clark's eyes, then looking away quickly. "Birth."
"Birth?" Clark swallowed nervously. "Are you okay?"
"Well, as I said, it is early. I just… I can't bother Lena with this right now. Don't tell her. She just lost her son, and it wouldn't be right to be begging Lamaze partnership off of her." Lex shrugged. "She seemed like the natural choice before, but things have gotten very complicated."
Clark's lips formed an "O." He looked up and down Lex and the ball he was sitting on. "And this thing is supposed to help?"
"Supposed to." Lex looked at the ball. "Ideally, if you have a partner, they can help you balance yourself as you change positions, and the ball, if you don't fall off of it, is supposed to help you do that alone. Squatting is apparently a good position with gravity, and it's difficult to do without some help, or it will be, since I'll practically be a bathysphere by that time."
Clark gave him a hard look. "And… wait, you can have this baby? I mean… 'naturally'?"
Lex licked his lips slowly. "In theory. In reality, I'm having a C-section, but Tanaka advised me to prepare, since…" He wobbled his head from side to side. "Really we don't know what's going to happen or what we're doing."
"Where would it…?" Clark asked, still staring at Lex.
"Please, do not ask me that."
Clark bit his lip, and Lex could tell that he was trying not to laugh. Clark, Clark. Who lied the most without actually ever being good at it. Everything he was thinking was always so readable on his face.
"I wouldn't want to think about that either." Clark offered him a hand. "Well, why don't I be your partner? I'm strong; I could hold you up and help you move around."
"I suppose." Lex hesitated, and then he realized almost immediately that he didn't believe that if the time came and he were forced to do this the hard way, Clark would actually make it there. Surely something would come up, and he'd disappear, with the worst of explanations when he returned.
"Well, if you don't want me to be there…" Clark said almost apologetically.
"I would, I guess. I just… It's very hard for me to let people see me being vulnerable. I imagine that desire has all but been shattered with this pregnancy. Collapsing, getting sick over almost everything… crying…" Lex was red as a beat, but he closed his eyes to it.
"Oh, Lex, don't beat yourself up. Pregnant people cry. It's totally physical, with the hormones and everything. You and me being guys, we're like, programmed not to cry and it feels wrong, but you can't help that. Besides, I was being an idiot when you cried."
"That's not the only time I've done it," Lex admitted.
"I know," Clark replied softly.
Lex opened his eyes and frowned at Clark. "How do you know?"
"I'm guessing. I'm not completely retarded about these things."
Lex was about to shoot him an acerbic reply when Clark started rubbing his back. He held his tongue and looked over at the bright window. He'd chosen a room not too far from Clark's bedroom to practice this. One with a good view of the grounds and plenty of light.
"I like this room," Clark commented.
"You read my mind." Lex chuckled softly.
"Not hard. It's a good room. Positive. Bright. Most of the rooms here are so drab and depressing. Maybe you can get some warmth and light in here," Clark suggested. "The castle's like a tomb."
His broad hands on Lex's back had begun a decent massage, and Lex relaxed into him. "Maybe it was meant to be a tomb, but I made it my home."
"That… sounds like something out of a teenage vampire novel."
Lex laughed outright at that. He'd been trying to be dramatic, but somehow, Clark was able to break up his moods. He looked down at Clark, who was smiling softly as he kneaded the tight spots in Lex's muscles. "Maybe you could be my partner."
"Yeah? I got the job?"
"You're on probation. We'll see."
"Hee. Do you have a lot of other applicants? Mercy? Chloe? Domovoi?"
"I think Mercy and I would both rather peel our top layer of skin off before having her see me with legs akimbo pushing a baby out of- Chloe might do. She's naturally very empathetic, but it would be a lot like having a copy of myself in the delivery room. I'd stare at me like something to be studied, and I think she might too. I can't fault her for it, logically, but it would make me uncomfortable, and Tanaka stares at me enough," Lex explained to Clark, who had begun to move his hands to Lex's shoulders. Lex sighed.
"And Domovoi?"
"Domovoi… I'd consider him, honestly, if you weren't here. Probably end up using him. I've had some pretty unconscionable employees over the years, but he's always been quite loyal and a good confidant, in the few times I've talked to him."
"I know nothing about this guy," Clark complained.
"He's a private man," Lex returned flippantly. "It isn't as though you eagerly share your secrets."
"So he has a secret?" Clark pressed, although in a playful tone.
Lex found that his mood was much improved, so he simply smiled instead of getting sore about the subject. "Everyone has a secret, Clark. Multiple secrets, even."
"Multiple!" Clark exclaimed with a laugh. "My curiosity abounds."
"Abounds? Clark, you're spending too much time around me."
"You improve my diction. My junior English professor said so. I had her for freshman English, too, so she had a basis of comparison."
"Is she the one who assigned you Nietzsche?"
"Heh. Yeah. Our class really, really did not get Thus, Spake Zarathustra. We had a whole unit over it. I think after that, Kwan told her not to give that to freshmen anymore-there were parents coming in to complain 'cause it opposes Christian stuff, you know-but then Reynolds took over, and she kept doing it. It was more philosophy class than English class that year. I hear she has a unit over Philip Pullman, now."
"Oh, that's excellent. And I bet Reynolds is the only principal who would let her do it, too, particularly around here."
"Pretty much." Clark laughed softly, then looked up at Lex until Lex turned his head to meet his eyes.
"What?"
"Let me help you up. This thing doesn't look steady."
Before Lex could respond, Clark gently slid his arms under Lex's armpits and lifted him up easily. Taking a moment to steady himself on his feet, Lex took a deep breath and held on to Clark's arms.
"You okay?"
"Yes, I just get a bit dizzy moving too quickly to my feet. Don't worry about it. If you're holding me, it isn't a problem," Lex explained. "Can't fall."
Clark's embrace grew a little tighter. "So. How do I do this Lamaze thing?"
"You're asking me?"
"Well, I don't know anything about that. I could ask my mo-"
"No. Clark, I don't want anyone else to know. Really. If your mother knows, then she'll tell my father; she won't mean to tell, probably, but she will, and if my father knows, my child and I are in danger," Lex insisted. He wiggled a little to get Clark to let him go, but Clark wasn't doing that.
"You're right, Lex. I promise you. I won't tell. Okay?"
"Okay."
Clark released him and stepped back, looking like he didn't know what to do with his arms if they weren't around Lex. "So. What now? Do you still want to practice?"
"Maybe I could get a video. I did read about a few positions." Lex looked around the room. There was a very soft, lightly colored blue rug over the expansive floor. He hadn't fully addressed what he'd do with this room, but for now, he wanted it to be a safe space in case he really had to do this, even though he really didn't want to. "From what I'm reading, if I'm able to change positions, it could take less time." He shrugged. "I unreservedly support that."
"Yeah? Well, the sooner she gets here, the better!" Clark said cheerfully, and Lex let him indulge in a belly rub.
Lex walked out into the middle of the room. "Okay, the first one…. Come over here and face me."
Clark did as he was told, raising a brow curiously.
"The idea is that we practice the positions so when the time comes, they'll feel natural and familiar," Lex told Clark and looked up at him anxiously. "We don't want to feel like labor is an emergency while it's happening. Something might happen that is an emergency, and we'll be careful, of course, but otherwise, we need to remain calm and confident, if we can."
"Yeah. Okay. I'm here." Clark reached forward and paused. "What do we do first?"
"Um, there's one called the Slow Dance." Lex paused and took a breath as he reached up and hung his arms around Clark's neck. He'd expended most of his knowledge about this in his little speech.
Clark chuckled. "Slow dance. Got it. Okay. Can I? My hands?"
"Around my waist, holding me up."
"Done." Clark wrapped his arms around Lex, holding him closely. "What now? We dance?"
"Maybe a little. Like this, upright or walking around, uses gravity to help things along."
"You sound like such an expert," Clark whispered. "Lean on me more. I bet in this one, I could support your weight if you're tired."
"I'm not an expert. You catch on fast," Lex replied, tightening his arms around Clark's neck and resting his chin on Clark's shoulder. He could feel his heart speeding up from being so close to Clark's warm, muscular body. "Maybe we should switch-"
"Dance with me a little, Lex." Clark swayed from side to side with Lex. "Try to relax."
"Trying."
"I know that's next to impossible for you."
"You know what bothers me? All these guides talk about women having the intuitive knowledge within themselves, so they'll know exactly what to do when they go into labor," Lex said quietly.
"Is that too froofy for you?"
"Well, I'm not a woman. How am I supposed to know?" Lex trailed off when he realized that Clark was smelling his neck as they danced. Lex shivered a little.
"Cold? I can get you a sweater," Clark offered.
Lex shook his head and pulled back. "So. So there's that one. Could you get the ball?"
"Please don't be so nervous, okay?" Clark said as he went to fetch the ball. "I'm just here to help you."
"Have you done your homework?" Lex asked suddenly.
"No, mommy." Clark rolled his eyes and stood before Lex with the ball. "Okay, what do we do with this?"
"You should put it down and go down do your homework," Lex instructed.
With a sigh, Clark set the ball down and took Lex's hand. "I'll do it after we've practiced this a little. You wouldn't be in here if you weren't nervous about it, and you'll be less nervous once you've put some effort toward the problem."
Lex pursed his lips and let Clark help him down to the carpeted floor. He put his hands on the ball, lowered himself and leaned over it. "This one's supposed to have a gravity benefit as well, and I can lean forward if there's too much pressure on my back."
"This sounds really complicated. Should I be doing anything?" Clark asked sitting beside Lex, who had his cheek pressed against the ball.
"Well, when we get there you can give me a massa-"
"On it."
"I'm not in labor now."
"Doesn't matter. It's practice, right?" Clark started to rub Lex's lower back. "Is there anything else? Should you be breathing or something?"
"I am breathing."
"I mean like…" Clark paused, then started huffing in and out. "Hee hee hee, hooooo! Hee hee heeeee, hoooooo!"
Lex bit his lower lip and shook with laughter. He'd never seen anything more ridiculous in his life. "Oh, God, stop that!"
Clark did a few more, then leaned over Lex to hug him from behind. His hand slipped over Lex's belly and gently caressed there too. "Your daddy is too uptight, babygirl. I have to make him laugh… She's laughing, too."
"You…" Lex gasped helplessly. "Are ridiculous!"
"I know." Clark sighed.
Lex began to roll the ball back and forth a little. "You use the ball for sitting on, and like this. Stretching out the muscles." He drew in a deep breath, then let it out slowly.
"This is more what I meant about the breathing."
"Yeah, I should probably try to focus on that when we practice."
"I'll remind you."
Lex could feel Clark's lips brushing against the nape of his neck. He was smelling Lex again, almost as though he couldn't help himself.
Maybe he couldn't.
"Breathe, Lex."
"Yeah." Lex swallowed tensely. We can do this. "Um, for the next position, since I already practiced sitting on the ball…" His eyes scanned the room. "Let's use those pillows over there."
To the left of the room, near one of the bright windows, was a pile of pillows that Domovoi had just brought in that morning. The colors were in light blues and greens. Clark again helped Lex up, holding onto him securely once Lex was to his feet to be sure that he wouldn't fall, and they moved over to the pillow pile.
"What happens here?" Clark asked as Lex lowered himself to the ground once again.
"I sit." Lex crossed his legs, taking a few breaths and feeling the soft rug beneath him. "This one's okay." He unfolded his legs and moved back onto the pillows.
"And what do I do?" Clark scooted closer to him.
"Depends on what's happening, I would think. You could…"
"Sit here like a lump while you do all the work?" Clark offered.
Lex chuckled. "Maybe. Rub my feet. Or hold… me."
"From the side?" Clark gave a curious frown and came closer. "Or from behind?"
"Either… I suppose," Lex replied stiffly.
Clark leaned Lex forward a bit as he slipped behind him, settling his legs on either side of Lex. "Aw. From here I can rub your back…." Clark demonstrated a moment, then pulled Lex closer. "Or your thighs." Clark rubbed there too, in demonstration.
Surely, I will die from this tender treatment, Lex thought, hoping he wouldn't get hard with Clark right here, touching him like this.
"Or, I could just hold you, like you said." Clark's arms wrapped around Lex, and his head lay on Lex's shoulder. "I like Lamaze."
"D-do you?"
"Breathe, Lex."
"I'm breathing," Lex snapped.
Clark began to take long, deep breaths, and soon, Lex joined him, not minding when Clark's hands began to roam again, touching Lex's sides and resting over his own on his belly.
"We should get some music in here. Some of the classical and opera music you like that will help you bliss out," Clark suggested in a near whisper. "That way, we can use this room for de-stressing, even if you don't have to use the stuff we practice in here."
"That's a good idea," Lex murmured. His eyes fell closed, and he kept on breathing, just feeling Clark's warmth against him and his daughter's slight movements inside him.
Clark's lips brushed against his neck, and Lex moved his hand to stop his friend, but instead it just lightly touched his hair, and Clark began giving gentle kisses to his neck.
"Clark," Lex whispered in protest, but when Clark met his eye, Lex couldn't stop himself from tilting his head to meet Clark's lips. So they kissed, passionately, as though driven, and Clark's hands held Lex's body firmly to him, one hand around the lower curve of his stomach and the other securely around his chest.
Lex's back was still flush to Clark's chest, and he felt almost as though he were overheating because Clark was so warm, and Lex just felt so, so hot. Even so, he couldn't tear his lips away from Clark's, and he almost just wanted to melt into Clark's heat.
After several long moments, he felt Clark's hand on his cheek pulling them apart as Clark whispered softly, "Breathe, Lex."
Lex blinked a few times, trying to get a hold of himself. "I…"
"I know." Clark leaned in to kiss him again, but Lex pulled his head back and started to push away. To his surprise, Clark let him crawl out onto the floor and pick himself up, although he looked terribly disappointed.
"That's enough for today," Lex said shakily, holding onto the wall.
"Lex-"
"I know. Breathe."
"No, I mean… I'm sorry. I… I know we haven't talked about it, but you want it, and so do I, so why can't we try-"
"Because you don't really," Lex said firmly. He looked down at the lush carpet.
"Yes. Yes, I do, Lex," Clark said in surprise. "How can I prove that to you?" Clark kept his distance, but when Lex looked up, he saw the hurt in Clark's face.
"Clark, do you even know what you're getting into? How do you know that you really feel this way?"
Clark hesitated. "Why… would I not feel this way? Lex, I… I've always… Lex, I love you."
Lex pressed his lips together and stared at Clark hard, wishing he could trust himself, or the words coming out of Clark's mouth. Was it true? Or did he just feel that way because of what Fine had done to him?
"You don't believe me. Um. Okay." Clark carded his fingers through his hair. "I don't know how to make you believe it. I mean, I don't think I recognized it for a while, because it wasn't how I felt for Lana, and I only recently realized that the way I felt for Lana, it was more idealism than it ever was love. But the way I felt about you was scary, and maybe I've acted stupidly because of it, but that doesn't mean that I want to be near you any less."
'"It's not just me you're going to be near, if you do this, you know," Lex replied, hating himself more with every word, because there was nothing he wanted more than this, and he was willfully pushing it away. "It's never just me, not anymore. It's me, and it's my daughter, and I cannot risk having you coming in and out of her life, if you really don't mean this-"
"Lex!" Clark protested, stepping closer.
"Are you sure you aren't just feeling romantic towards me because I'm pregnant, helpless, and alone?" Lex asked peevishly.
Clark stopped still at that, tilting his head to the side, almost looking angry, but not quite. Lex swallowed and looked away again, forcing himself to control this surge of emotions.
After what seemed like a long time, Clark whispered, "Are you sure you're not resisting this because you're pregnant, helpless, and alone? I know part of it is me, but… I haven't heard anything here about you not wanting me. Maybe you don't like that things had to get like this for you to get me, and maybe I'm just… a jerk because I didn't realize it before Fine made me understand that I could lose you for good."
Lex looked up at him with tired eyes. "No. I'm not saying anything about not wanting you. That is a significant problem to all of this. I don't trust my judgment around you anymore. I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry." Clark sighed heavily and rolled his shoulders. "Look, you came here not to be stressed, and… I meant what I said, about loving you. I've felt that way for awhile now."
"And the rest of this? You can handle it? And not leave again, that's what I mean," Lex clarified.
"You're just going to have to trust me," Clark pleaded. "Trust that I'm trying to be here."
"And my daughter? What about her?"
"Your daughter? I-"
"Are you ready to be with someone who's going to be a parent very soon?" Lex asked in a gravelly voice. He licked his lips, waiting for Clark to answer for a few seconds, but then said, "Are you ready to be a parent?"
Clark's mouth opened. "I haven't thought about it like that. But that doesn't mean I don't love you."
"Let's not kid ourselves on how rough this is going to be, Clark. We had problems before I got knocked up. It's only going to become harder and harder for you that this child isn't yours." Lex felt his face pinching. He needed Clark to get the picture of what they were facing here. "And I want you to think about that before you try to get close to me."
Clark crossed his arms, frowning with that stern look of his. "I'm not going to fight with you. I don't know what you want me to say."
Rubbing his temple, Lex walked toward the door, saying nothing. He sucked in his lower lip, expecting that Clark would passively stand there, unable to come up with any further response or any convincing argument, and Lex would end up in the library, alone and hating himself for pushing away the only person he could be with right now.
He was pretty far down the hall when Clark's large arms took him from behind. "I have to go do my homework, because my best friend won't forgive me if I don't, but I'm coming back for dinner, and then he has to talk to me."
"I hope your homework is enlightening," Lex said in a flat voice.
"Actually, I don't think it could be any more enlightening than the past ten minutes have been."
Then Clark's warm lips wrapped around the bump on the back of Lex's head and sucked back in a kiss that might have left a mark and definitely made a smacking sound. Lex laughed softly.
"Have some faith, Lex. I'll see you later. Try to get your bliss on, and go hang with your sister, at least a little. She's not going to shatter because you're having your baby," Clark said.
Lex pursed his lips and sighed. Clark let him go and walked in the other direction, and Lex closed his eyes, hoping, so hard, that when Clark came back he would be able to at least recognize what lay before them. Nothing simple, nothing easy, but a host of complex problems that were both painful and magnificent. And Lex didn't want to tackle them with anyone else.
"I'm such an idiot," Lex whispered to himself, touching his temple and wishing he hadn't started that. Not then, not when he and Clark could have been kissing and enjoying one another's company.
After several moments of standing there and hating himself, Lex realized that his feet hurt, and he had work to do. He was going to go into the office for a few hours.
***
"You never talk about yourself." Chloe leaned on her hand and narrowed her eyes. "You know all about me and my drama. I mean, you drove me here. But I don't really know anything about you."
"I guess I've gotten used to hiding who I really am. You know, you've got the powers, the past, the Sapphic tendencies." Mercy sat back, reclining in her seat. Her sunglasses were pushed back over her short, dark hair, and she was still wearing the suit she sported as Lex's assistant, despite having gotten the afternoon off to take Chloe to Regan Hospital in Grandville.
Chloe laughed. "Yeah, that part… definitely not something I go out of my way to tell people about, growing up in a small, rural Kansas town. It seemed like when I went to Metropolis Public Junior High 113, everyone and their sister was bi, but at our high school?" She shook her head and sipped her diet soda. "We had one one lady of the flowers, and she was a psycho-killer bent on reliving Single White Female with Lana Lang."
"Clearly the girl didn't have any taste." Mercy shrugged.
"So what was high school like for Mercy Graves? Chloe asked, crossing her legs at the knee.
"Didn't go. I was in foster care for a long time and moved around." Mercy slipped one hand into her pocket.
"And how'd you meet your boss?"
"I stole his car. Out of a high security garage in Metropolis. He was impressed. He tracked me down, but he was impressed." Mercy looked up at the ceiling. "Well, you know this. He appreciates talent, and he appreciates loyalty. I'm not surprised that he's handpicked you and me. Heh." She looked over at Chloe with a warm smile. "I thought you'd end up working against us, at first, and that was pretty damn sad, for a woman as smart as you. Having you sitting here beside me; it really gives me hope."
Chloe dipped her head. "I think hope is a hard thing to have sometimes, especially like this. I've not been the luckiest in relationships." Her hand moved over to touch Mercy's thigh. "And we hope that things don't grow worse in the fight we're in, but who knows?"
"At least your dad loves me," Mercy teased.
"You know, he really does," Chloe agreed with a tinge of surprise. "Hard to gauge him sometimes."
"I like your dad," Mercy said. She reached around and hugged Chloe to her chest.
Chloe was silent for a moment, pressing her lips together and resting her head on Mercy's soft breasts. She really hated this place, but it was a lot better having someone with her.
"I hope you like my mom, too," Chloe whispered.
"Oh, I will. I mean, it bugs me that she abandoned you-"
"It's hard to stick around when you're having a mental breakdown."
"Do you two get along?" Mercy asked.
"Sometimes. Sometimes she's better. Sometimes, she's just not all there," Chloe admitted.
Mercy was trailing her fingers though Chloe's silky blond hair. "Well, I'll be there with you."
She kissed the top of Chloe's head and sighed as she saw a nurse in pink scrubs approaching them. She would lead them back to Gillian Sullivan's room, and Mercy would stay by Chloe as long as she needed someone there. Her kitten would be strong; she hoped.
***
"Oh… oh, ew!"
Clark had done his homework quickly, and since it was an early day for him as far as classes went and he was caught up on his larger projects, he had decided to go home for a few hours. There was plenty of time until dinner, and Clark wanted to stay out of Lex's way. It was like walking on glass sometimes with him lately, and Clark figured, because he wasn't completely clueless, that whatever doubts Lex had about them were compounded by his issues about being pregnant and looking weak.
He was pretty damn sure that a lot of it had to do with that, actually, because Clark also knew that Lex was more than a little afraid of doing this alone. It seemed, however, that he was also more than prepared to do it alone, if he couldn't find someone reliable to lean on.
So Clark was at the family computer, doing Google Seppuku to find whatever he could about pregnancy. For one thing, it was gross and there were a billion symptoms he hoped Lex wasn't suffering from. For another, Clark couldn't believe how big some of these women were! Poor Lex! Come November, he might explode.
"Clark? That you?" Jonathan called into the room before he poked his head in.
Clark quickly shut down the screen and turned around. Ninja quick. Just like in high school. "Hey, Dad. I didn't know you'd be done with your chores yet."
"Yeah, well, almost." Jonathan entered the room, putting his hands in his pockets and looking around. He bunched his lips together and looked at his son. "How are you doin', Clark? Has it been okay at Lex's? I figure if you were coming home, you'd say so."
"I'm surprised you're leaving it up to me," Clark said honestly.
"Well…" Jonathan pulled up a chair. "You're not a kid anymore. And I understand that you're having trouble dealing with what your mom and I have messed up in our marriage, because you should. We're distracting you more than you need while you're trying to get back on track."
"I'm not mad at you guys. There's just a lot going on right now," Clark confessed. He folded his hands, stared at them for a moment, then looked up at his father. "Dad, how did you ever decide you were okay about raising Lionel Luthor's baby? Wouldn't you always know that she wasn't yours? Wouldn't it be hard?"
"Well, not so much as you might think." Jonathan looked around, then pushed himself up and motioned for Clark to follow him.
Clark had already heard his mother bustling around in the attic, so he knew she was around. He walked with his father outside, where they strolled side by side for a moment or two before his father began speaking again.
"Clark, I was always aware that you… weren't really my son, but at the same time, it never, ever mattered. Your mother always said that we didn't find you. You found us. Now I know you think of things much more literally than your mom and I, but I've always kind of believed that about any child. Maybe it came out of having you. Maybe not."
"Is that why you decided that mom not being able to have a kid was your fault? That no child was going to find you if you weren't a good father?" Clark asked, raising a brow.
"Maybe. Anyway, I thought… I looked at Lex, and I thought, here's a kid that should have been adopted. Should have found a better set of parents than the man and woman that raised him."
"What was wrong with his mother?"
"I don't know. But a good mother isn't going to let a man like Lionel Luthor treat his son the way he did," Jonathan replied sternly. "Regardless, I thought… It didn't matter. It didn't matter if somehow it really was my fault, biologically speaking, that your mother couldn't have children. It didn't matter if we adopted another one, and if that one was a Luthor, because at the time, well, you remember how it was when Lex came over."
Clark flushed a little. Oh, he remembered.
He remembered sleeping in the same bed with Lex and feeling so funny in his stomach. Rubbing his eyes all night because they burned like they might go off and that just wasn't possible!
"Yeah, what about it?" Clark asked.
"I thought at the time, what a good farmer Lex would have made. I thought, what a good man Lex might still make, because he tries, even with that Lionel breathing fire down his neck." Jonathan looked over at the horizon. "You weren't really ours, but we made a Kent out of you. So I decided that I wouldn't love that baby any less for not having my genes. I don't need that to make my family, and I would love Martha all the more to make up for our mistakes. But, at the time, I thought… if it weren't for all our complete screw-ups, Clark, that baby wouldn't have existed."
Clark met his father's eye as he looked up at him and raised his brows. "You really wouldn't care? You would have raised that kid just like it was yours?"
"Son, I had no intention of ever telling your mother than I knew it wasn't." Jonathan shrugged. "Not every man can go in and raise another man's baby. Honestly, I didn't think I had it in me to be that big-hearted, but when it comes to Martha, we have our fights, and I'm a bit of a controlling ass sometimes, but I love her more than anything, and if that means that she gets what she wants-a baby of her own to raise-even if I was no part of its creation? I'm gonna be there for her every step of the way."
Jonathan shook his head and looked at the barn. "Or I would have. If not for the accident. That's life sometimes, though."
"I know. It's been really hard on Lex and Lena," Clark said, thinking that if Lex lost his daughter, he might die himself.
"Hard. Especially hard to understand why." Jonathan shrugged again. "You going back over there tonight?"
"Yeah, I promised Lex I'd be there for dinner."
Jonathan nodded. "Well, how about you give us a few days, and then at least come back for Sunday dinner with us? Maybe this would be a good time for you to try to make a bit of a break. I know it hurts Martha to let you go, but maybe if we do it little by little, it'll help."
"I'll come by." Clark grinned, slapping his father's back. "Thanks for talking to me about this, Dad."
"Well, we can't sweep things under the rug forever." Jonathan turned and gave his son a tight hug.
"No, I guess you can't." Clark let go and shoved his hands in his jean pockets, looking up at the barn window that he'd looked out so many times growing up. He didn't spend a lot of time staring up at it from this angle.
Trust me, Clark. Our friendship is going to be the stuff of legends.
We have a complicated relationship, Clark. My father wants me to believe it's built on trust, but it's not. It's built on lies and deceit. Any relationship with that foundation is destined to fail. Lucky we don't have that problem.
I will never become my father. I would never sacrifice you or anybody I cared about to bring him down.
For a moment, Clark blinked and almost saw himself standing there with Lex, talking Greek history or destiny, sharing his woes in chasing high school girls or normality.
Lex. Why does your father hate you so much?
Take care of yourself, Clark.
Maybe the reason Lex was so hesitant to trust him was deeper than his fears about the pregnancy. Maybe there was more to it than Clark even knew, since there were secrets that Lex had kept and never shared. Secrets that Clark had never shared. Lex was when they'd met, after all, about the same age Clark was now. They had been too in love and too young not to mess it all up.
"Dad, I need to get going. I'll give you guys a call later, okay?" Clark looked at his father, who simply smiled.
"Alright, Clark. It was good talking to you."
Clark nodded and sped off toward the castle.
***
Gray mist clouded Lex’s field of vision, and nausea rose up in his throat, building, grinding up against his gullet. He couldn’t determine whether he was awake or asleep. At the moment he didn’t particularly care. He just wanted something, anything to stop the pain in his head and stomach.
“He’s waking up.”
Lex rolled his head around and tried to push himself up.
“No! Lex, please! Please, relax.”
Letting himself fall back, Lex narrowed his eyes and tried to focus a bit better. “Where am I? Who… who is that? Tanaka?”
“No, Lex. I’m Dr. Largess. You’re at Metropolis General. Do you remember what happened?”
“Perhaps you’d better let him sleep some more,” a second voice suggested.
“No, let’s give him an idea of where he is first. He’ll be more cooperative during tests if he knows we’re here to take care of him. He may be confused,” the first voice insisted. “Lex, take this. It’s water.”
A cold glass was pressed into his hand, and he looked around dizzily. “I feel sick.”
“You’ve been injured. Please, don’t try to move.”
Lex felt his heart leap into his throat. “How… how badly? What happened? Is… is…”
He could neither bring himself to ask nor risk it. Somehow, however, the voices seemed to know. One of the two people in the room touched his arm, and he felt too sluggish to pull away.
“Don’t strain yourself, son.”
Lex’s breathing sped up, and he became less certain he wasn’t having one of his nightmares. “Dad?”
“Yes, Lex. It’s me. I’m here.” Rough fingers caressed his head. “Really, Lex, in your condition, you’re going to have to be much more cautious.”
“I… in my… I think I’m going to throw up.”
“Don’t be so dramatic,” Lionel scoffed.
Dr. Largess made a dissatisfied noise, and soon Lex felt someone helping him lean over to a waste receptacle. Sure enough, he vomited quite forcefully, more than once.
“Use the water to clean out your mouth, Lex,” the doctor advised. “We’ll get you some more water.”
Lex obeyed, swishing the water around and then spitting it into the receptacle as well. Firm hands pressed him back into the bed, and he blinked at the ceiling a few times.
“Not dramatic,” Lex muttered.
“No, sir,” the doctor said pointedly. “You aren’t. But you should rest. When you are feeling better, we may try to do some blood work, but it will have to wait.”
Lex could hear the doctor stepping back. Anxiously, he looked to his father. Now he could make out most of Lionel’s face, so at least he wasn’t going blind.
“Lex?” Lionel moved a chair over and sat by his bed, taking Lex’s hand. “I can see what you’re thinking on your face, Lex, but I’m not here to harm you. I would have preferred it if you had merely told me about this strange turn of events. I am your father.”
“What turn of events?’
Lionel’s hand cupped over his stomach, but when Lex winced and tried to pull away, his father removed his hand quite quickly. “I apologize. I didn’t mean to startle you. We’re here to take care of you, Lex, and your unborn child.”
Lex was feeling faintly sick again. Lionel took Lex’s hand in his own and guided it over to the side of the bed.
”Here. Feel that? This button will call a doctor for you if you’re feeling worse, or if you think something is wrong with the baby.” Lionel squeezed Lex’s hand gently. “Son, I’m here for you. I know that you have issues trusting me, but you need to be taken care of right now.”
“Where’s Clark? And Lena?” Lex asked. It had just occurred to him that if he’d been injured then there was nothing on heaven and earth that could keep Clark from coming.
“We can talk about that later, Lex,” Lionel replied in a tone so gentle that it ran shivers up Lex’s spine.
He jerked his hand away and moved away from his father on the bed. The sudden panic seemed to make the room clearer, although it told him nothing, really. It looked like a large private hospital room at Metropolis General, which would make reasonable sense, and he recognized stark white walls and the pattern along the bottom from the last time he’d been admitted here. He was in a double bed with soft blue sheets. Lionel must have ordered it so, and it was something he’d done before when Lex had overdosed on a special brew that one of his club associates had created. There was a large window to his right, but heavy blue drapes blocked any sunlight that might have come through. The room was furnished with a long sofa beneath the window, a rocking chair in the corner, and a breakfast table around the corner of the wall. The bathroom was within a few steps of the bed, if he needed it. Overall, it was a posh little set up. Still, he felt uneasy with the way his father was behaving. There was something he wasn’t telling him.
“Where. Is. Clark,” he demanded.
Lionel tensed and looked to the door, as though waiting on reinforcements or expecting Clark to come busting through it any moment. Then he looked back to Lex and folded his hands before looking Lex directly in the eye. “Lex, I’m very sorry. Your friend is dead.”
“Dead,” Lex repeated dumbly. “Clark can’t be dead.”
“Son, please listen to me-“
“No. Clark is not dead. I’d know if he were dead,” Lex's protesting voice came out rapidly as he tried to leave the bed.
The doctor moved quickly to the side of the bed and held him down. “You must remain in bed, Lex.”
Lionel hit the button beside the bed and a nurse came in with a needle.
“Don’t!” Lex cried. “You can’t give me that! I’m pregnant!”
“It’ll be fine, Lex. It’s a sedative. It’s safe,” the doctor crooned into his ear.
The nurse leaned over him and pulled up the sleeve of his hospital pajamas. “This will help you sleep.”
“I don’t want to sleep!” Lex protested. This had to be one of his nightmares. He winced as the needle sank into his arm. Dr. Largess held him tightly until he began to feel the effects of the sedative, and Lex was laid gently back on the bed. His eyes rolled around between the three people standing over him. “Dad, don’t do this…”
“This is all for your own good, Lex. You’ll see.” Lionel’s hand was petting his head now. “You were both attacked, and Clark was killed saving you and your child. He died as your friend.”
Lex couldn’t bring himself to push Lionel’s hand away. Clark could not be dead. That was just too much. Too tragic and too unfair for them to have been finally becoming close like Lex had always wanted. And Lex, like the idiot he'd always been had pushed him away. He knew that there were things that could hurt Clark, had hurt him in the past, but…
“I don’t remember an attack,” Lex murmured sleepily.
“Post-traumatic stress, Lex. You’ll remember eventually. Or maybe not. Perhaps it would be best if that memory didn’t come back immediately.” Lionel grew quiet for a moment. “Did Clark know about your child? I think if he did, he must have done what he did for the both of you.”
Lex closed his eyes in defeat. I would know. I would feel Clark dying, like I did last time… but if I don’t remember when it happened. He just… he can’t.
Lionel moved his hand to touch Lex’s belly. Lex grabbed his wrist firmly and opened his eyes. “It’s not public property.”
“Alright, Lex.” With a shake of the head, Lionel held his hands up. “Alright. Please, just relax.”
“What’s wrong… with me?” Lex let his head fall to the side so he could see his father better. The nurse was fixing an IV to his arm. “No. What are you doing?”
“This is just to keep you well hydrated, okay?” she replied softly.
She sounded very far away, and Lex’s let his eyes roll back as the world began to fade away again. He frowned at the white, white ceiling. He blinked sluggishly and noticed a drop of water rolling down the corner of where the ceiling met the walls.
“There’s…”