Fic: Never Let an Alien Probe You on the First Date, Lexana, Clex
My dreams lately have been crazy. I needed to get this out of my brain.
Other things which you might be wondering about are mostly finished... but need editing. --;;
Title: Never Let an Alien Probe You on the First Date
Pairing: alien!Clex, dark!snuggly!Lexana
Warning: Mpreg, tentacles, early S6 version of Lana
Rating: PG-13
Season Six, AU post Arrow.
Word Count: 1582
Lex’s distended belly shifted restlessly. He looked down and put his hand on the lump curiously. He was fairly certain this hadn’t been there yesterday. He rubbed the stretched fabric of his long t-shirt and looked around the Kent living room. Martha Kent came in with her hands in oven mitts carrying a pan of cookies fresh from the oven.
“Oh, sweetie, why don’t you sit down and rest your back?" She set the cookies down on the living room table then reached over to give him a hug and a peck on the cheek. “Don’t let Clark touch these until they’ve cooled. I still need to check on my pies.”
She smiled and reached down to feel the squirming underneath the skin of his stomach. “Bless you, Lex.”
As she left, he noticed that she was wearing a very strange, stiff floral dress under her pink apron. And pearls. And heels.
Jonathan Kent came in the front door wearing overalls and a straw hat. He smacked Lex’s ass and grinned widely. “Thank god for them child bearin’ hips, huh?”
“Excuse me?”
“I’m not sure how y’d get them babies out otherwise.”
“Babies?” Just then, Lex heard a cry from upstairs. The bulge shifted again. He had to widen his gate to keep from falling. “Um…”
Clark blurred into the room. He was dressed in hip-hugging women’s jeans and a tight, bright blue lycra clubbing shirt. “Don’t worry, Lex. I’ll get this one.”
He snatched a cookie and blurred upstairs. Lex slowly walked towards the stairs. There seemed to be a million of them. But that might be because his back was aching and his belly seemed to keep getting bigger.
“Aw…” Clark was standing over a crib unbuttoning his shirt.
“Clark, what are you doing?” Lex asked in bewilderment.
“I’m going to feed our baby.”
Lex took a moment to process that. “Our baby? Why the fuck would I have a baby with you?”
“I don’t think you have many options when you let an alien probe you,” Clark replied cheerfully, leaning over the crib. The soft light shined on Clark’s glorious muscles. Lex flushed and told himself that he wasn’t becoming aroused by just looking at him. “Awww… there you go, Connie! Eat up, kiddo.”
Lex waddled over, keeping a hand on his stomach to keep it from squirming. It was the weirdest sensation, well almost the weirdest. He looked over Clark’s shoulder.
He knees buckled in shock.
“Lex!” Clark kneeled down with the baby still attached to him and pulled Lex to himself with one arm. “Hey, are you okay? Is it time?”
“No, um… ohhh…” The baby inside him writhed and twisted wildly. Lex fixed his eyes on the infant in Clark’s arms.
A fresh, clean arm draped across Clark’s naked chest. The skin was an iridescent lavender and fairly translucent. It was a tentacle.
“He has your eyes,” Clark said. The light came behind his face, making him look like a god or an angel, smiling graciously down on him. He lifted Lex easily with one arm and settled him into a rocking chair. “Do you want to hold Connor?”
“No.” The baby blinked at him, its eyes wide and clear and blue-grey. It did have his eyes.
“Come on, he adores you. He can still feed on me while you hold him.” Clark offered to place the baby tentacle monster in his arms.
“Oh dear god no,” Lex repeated emphatically, his eyes growing impossibly wide. His belly stretched ominously. “Jesus Motherfucking Christ, do I have another one of those things inside me?!”
Clark dropped the creature in his arms anyway and wrapped an arm around Lex’s back while the thing fed on Clark and looked up at Lex with interest, making babbling noises. They had stretched a blue knitted cap over its head. One of its free tentacles rose to its mouth, and it began sucking on it as it gurgled. Another free tentacle rose up to Lex’s face and began feeling him curiously.
“See, your son loves you. Your daughter will, too.” He clutched Lex’s burgeoning belly tightly.
“Fuck.”
“I was thinking Lena… maybe Laura?”
Lana strolled in. “Aww… Lookit the baby!”
Baby Connor suckled away at Clark’s bare chest, looked over at her, and cooed.
“I’m in hell,” Lex said. He struggled to get out of Clark’s clutches, but the alien held him fast. “Get off of me. Get this thing off of me. Get this alien out of me!”
“Lex!”
Suddenly he opened his eyes. He looked around in disorientation for a few moments before realizing he was in his bedroom, and Lana had her small hands on his shoulders. She frowned and slid her arms around him worriedly.
“You were having a nightmare, babe,” she said in a soft, fretful tone. “Another one. What’s bothering you?”
“I…” He shifted in the bed to face her. Her thin fingers stroked the back of his head gently. She looked almost fragile in her delicate purple nightgown.
“Was it about the baby?”
Lex grimaced in embarrassment and looked down. “Yes, actually. It was… ridiculous.”
“Tell me about it.” She shifted herself so that she was leaning on her elbow, in listening mode. “Come ooon. You can share secrets about aliens and mutant testing with me, but you can’t share a dream?”
“It had Clark in it,” he admitted tensely.
“Oh,” she replied softly, stiffening her lips. “Well, if couldn’t have been a good dream, so I guess you’re off the hook.”
Lex sighed and moved up beside her. “We had a baby together.”
Lana raised her brows.
“And we were expecting another.”
“I see. So… you…” Lana asked leadingly, tilting her head slightly.
“Nine months pregnant with our second tentacle monster.”
Lana covered her mouth to keep from laughing. “Tentacle monsters! With Clark? Oh my goodness!”
“It was very disturbing at the time!” Lex protested. He covered his face with his hands and groaned. Lana reached up and removed them, giving him a light kiss on the lips.
“I bet it was horrifying. I’d freak out if I had Clark’s alien spawn inside me.”
“I’m wondering what kind of life cycle would be going on if the infant stage is basically a squid.”
Lana laughed harder and curled her arms around him and began to rub his back. “Oh sweetie. It’s normal to worry. Especially after all you’ve been through recently. Don’t be embarrassed that you have strange dreams.”
“Jonathan Kent said I had childbearing hips,” Lex added flatly.
She collapsed into giggles on his shoulder. “Well, we might hope that you do, but I don’t know what good it would do us.”
Lana reached her hand down and slid her fingers underneath his silky pajama top. “You know, though. We saw the sonogram. It looks human.” She emphasized the last words slowly. “No tentacles anywhere.”
“Well, if it’s a boy…”
She smiled faintly and rubbed his firm, slightly raised stomach. “Everything is going to turn out okay.”
Lex sighed and looked away. “I know that. I’m fine.”
“Maybe you just need to hear it. What happened to you, Lex…”
“I don’t really want to talk about it. They don’t have to have tentacles to be monsters,” he said with an edge.
“It’ll be okay. Because it’s us,” she said firmly. She caressed his face with one hand, making him look into her intense hazel eyes. “Because as often as you and I have been attacked, abducted, and tortured, we’ve survived. Whether Clark was there to help or not. So I know. I know that you are going to survive having this baby. With your luck and mine put together, nothing can stand a chance against us.”
Lex’s lips twitched halfway upward. “I hope your faith will be enough for the both of us.”
“For the three of us. They made a mistake letting their hybrid be a Luthor,” she said darkly with a quirked brow. Lex nodded, and she curled up behind him and rubbed the back of his neck reassuringly. “Are you going to be able to get back to sleep?”
“Maybe,” he muttered. “Thank you… for putting up with my nightmares. I’ve not been with that many women willing to share my bed afterward, for that reason.”
“I put up with yours. You’ve put up with mine. We all have scars, Lex, and we both know why.” She kissed the bump on the back of his head adoringly. “Now try to dream sweet dreams. Let yourself rest, for once. The war can wait until tomorrow.”
Lex let her spoon up against him and draped one arm over hers. After nuzzling his neck for a few minutes, she fell back asleep. He would have never told, but Lana Lang was a hopelessly terminal sleep mumbler. It was pretty cute, her babbling nonsense in his ear at night. He tried to take deep breaths and have comfort with another warm body pressed against his back.
Tentatively, he pressed a hand to his stomach, feeling the hard lump below his navel. He had avoided looking at it or touching it for the most part, and he wasn’t sure what he’d do when it started moving. His heart was racing enough from his dream. He tried not to imagine the fetus inside him as a cephalopod or any of the other horrifying alien variations he could think off.
Lana’s hand reached down and moved over his own. Their hands intertwined over his stomach, and Lex lay awake a long time thinking about the possibilities of their future. Some scary, some quite remarkable.
Other things which you might be wondering about are mostly finished... but need editing. --;;
Title: Never Let an Alien Probe You on the First Date
Pairing: alien!Clex, dark!snuggly!Lexana
Warning: Mpreg, tentacles, early S6 version of Lana
Rating: PG-13
Season Six, AU post Arrow.
Word Count: 1582
Lex’s distended belly shifted restlessly. He looked down and put his hand on the lump curiously. He was fairly certain this hadn’t been there yesterday. He rubbed the stretched fabric of his long t-shirt and looked around the Kent living room. Martha Kent came in with her hands in oven mitts carrying a pan of cookies fresh from the oven.
“Oh, sweetie, why don’t you sit down and rest your back?" She set the cookies down on the living room table then reached over to give him a hug and a peck on the cheek. “Don’t let Clark touch these until they’ve cooled. I still need to check on my pies.”
She smiled and reached down to feel the squirming underneath the skin of his stomach. “Bless you, Lex.”
As she left, he noticed that she was wearing a very strange, stiff floral dress under her pink apron. And pearls. And heels.
Jonathan Kent came in the front door wearing overalls and a straw hat. He smacked Lex’s ass and grinned widely. “Thank god for them child bearin’ hips, huh?”
“Excuse me?”
“I’m not sure how y’d get them babies out otherwise.”
“Babies?” Just then, Lex heard a cry from upstairs. The bulge shifted again. He had to widen his gate to keep from falling. “Um…”
Clark blurred into the room. He was dressed in hip-hugging women’s jeans and a tight, bright blue lycra clubbing shirt. “Don’t worry, Lex. I’ll get this one.”
He snatched a cookie and blurred upstairs. Lex slowly walked towards the stairs. There seemed to be a million of them. But that might be because his back was aching and his belly seemed to keep getting bigger.
“Aw…” Clark was standing over a crib unbuttoning his shirt.
“Clark, what are you doing?” Lex asked in bewilderment.
“I’m going to feed our baby.”
Lex took a moment to process that. “Our baby? Why the fuck would I have a baby with you?”
“I don’t think you have many options when you let an alien probe you,” Clark replied cheerfully, leaning over the crib. The soft light shined on Clark’s glorious muscles. Lex flushed and told himself that he wasn’t becoming aroused by just looking at him. “Awww… there you go, Connie! Eat up, kiddo.”
Lex waddled over, keeping a hand on his stomach to keep it from squirming. It was the weirdest sensation, well almost the weirdest. He looked over Clark’s shoulder.
He knees buckled in shock.
“Lex!” Clark kneeled down with the baby still attached to him and pulled Lex to himself with one arm. “Hey, are you okay? Is it time?”
“No, um… ohhh…” The baby inside him writhed and twisted wildly. Lex fixed his eyes on the infant in Clark’s arms.
A fresh, clean arm draped across Clark’s naked chest. The skin was an iridescent lavender and fairly translucent. It was a tentacle.
“He has your eyes,” Clark said. The light came behind his face, making him look like a god or an angel, smiling graciously down on him. He lifted Lex easily with one arm and settled him into a rocking chair. “Do you want to hold Connor?”
“No.” The baby blinked at him, its eyes wide and clear and blue-grey. It did have his eyes.
“Come on, he adores you. He can still feed on me while you hold him.” Clark offered to place the baby tentacle monster in his arms.
“Oh dear god no,” Lex repeated emphatically, his eyes growing impossibly wide. His belly stretched ominously. “Jesus Motherfucking Christ, do I have another one of those things inside me?!”
Clark dropped the creature in his arms anyway and wrapped an arm around Lex’s back while the thing fed on Clark and looked up at Lex with interest, making babbling noises. They had stretched a blue knitted cap over its head. One of its free tentacles rose to its mouth, and it began sucking on it as it gurgled. Another free tentacle rose up to Lex’s face and began feeling him curiously.
“See, your son loves you. Your daughter will, too.” He clutched Lex’s burgeoning belly tightly.
“Fuck.”
“I was thinking Lena… maybe Laura?”
Lana strolled in. “Aww… Lookit the baby!”
Baby Connor suckled away at Clark’s bare chest, looked over at her, and cooed.
“I’m in hell,” Lex said. He struggled to get out of Clark’s clutches, but the alien held him fast. “Get off of me. Get this thing off of me. Get this alien out of me!”
“Lex!”
Suddenly he opened his eyes. He looked around in disorientation for a few moments before realizing he was in his bedroom, and Lana had her small hands on his shoulders. She frowned and slid her arms around him worriedly.
“You were having a nightmare, babe,” she said in a soft, fretful tone. “Another one. What’s bothering you?”
“I…” He shifted in the bed to face her. Her thin fingers stroked the back of his head gently. She looked almost fragile in her delicate purple nightgown.
“Was it about the baby?”
Lex grimaced in embarrassment and looked down. “Yes, actually. It was… ridiculous.”
“Tell me about it.” She shifted herself so that she was leaning on her elbow, in listening mode. “Come ooon. You can share secrets about aliens and mutant testing with me, but you can’t share a dream?”
“It had Clark in it,” he admitted tensely.
“Oh,” she replied softly, stiffening her lips. “Well, if couldn’t have been a good dream, so I guess you’re off the hook.”
Lex sighed and moved up beside her. “We had a baby together.”
Lana raised her brows.
“And we were expecting another.”
“I see. So… you…” Lana asked leadingly, tilting her head slightly.
“Nine months pregnant with our second tentacle monster.”
Lana covered her mouth to keep from laughing. “Tentacle monsters! With Clark? Oh my goodness!”
“It was very disturbing at the time!” Lex protested. He covered his face with his hands and groaned. Lana reached up and removed them, giving him a light kiss on the lips.
“I bet it was horrifying. I’d freak out if I had Clark’s alien spawn inside me.”
“I’m wondering what kind of life cycle would be going on if the infant stage is basically a squid.”
Lana laughed harder and curled her arms around him and began to rub his back. “Oh sweetie. It’s normal to worry. Especially after all you’ve been through recently. Don’t be embarrassed that you have strange dreams.”
“Jonathan Kent said I had childbearing hips,” Lex added flatly.
She collapsed into giggles on his shoulder. “Well, we might hope that you do, but I don’t know what good it would do us.”
Lana reached her hand down and slid her fingers underneath his silky pajama top. “You know, though. We saw the sonogram. It looks human.” She emphasized the last words slowly. “No tentacles anywhere.”
“Well, if it’s a boy…”
She smiled faintly and rubbed his firm, slightly raised stomach. “Everything is going to turn out okay.”
Lex sighed and looked away. “I know that. I’m fine.”
“Maybe you just need to hear it. What happened to you, Lex…”
“I don’t really want to talk about it. They don’t have to have tentacles to be monsters,” he said with an edge.
“It’ll be okay. Because it’s us,” she said firmly. She caressed his face with one hand, making him look into her intense hazel eyes. “Because as often as you and I have been attacked, abducted, and tortured, we’ve survived. Whether Clark was there to help or not. So I know. I know that you are going to survive having this baby. With your luck and mine put together, nothing can stand a chance against us.”
Lex’s lips twitched halfway upward. “I hope your faith will be enough for the both of us.”
“For the three of us. They made a mistake letting their hybrid be a Luthor,” she said darkly with a quirked brow. Lex nodded, and she curled up behind him and rubbed the back of his neck reassuringly. “Are you going to be able to get back to sleep?”
“Maybe,” he muttered. “Thank you… for putting up with my nightmares. I’ve not been with that many women willing to share my bed afterward, for that reason.”
“I put up with yours. You’ve put up with mine. We all have scars, Lex, and we both know why.” She kissed the bump on the back of his head adoringly. “Now try to dream sweet dreams. Let yourself rest, for once. The war can wait until tomorrow.”
Lex let her spoon up against him and draped one arm over hers. After nuzzling his neck for a few minutes, she fell back asleep. He would have never told, but Lana Lang was a hopelessly terminal sleep mumbler. It was pretty cute, her babbling nonsense in his ear at night. He tried to take deep breaths and have comfort with another warm body pressed against his back.
Tentatively, he pressed a hand to his stomach, feeling the hard lump below his navel. He had avoided looking at it or touching it for the most part, and he wasn’t sure what he’d do when it started moving. His heart was racing enough from his dream. He tried not to imagine the fetus inside him as a cephalopod or any of the other horrifying alien variations he could think off.
Lana’s hand reached down and moved over his own. Their hands intertwined over his stomach, and Lex lay awake a long time thinking about the possibilities of their future. Some scary, some quite remarkable.