This is an extremely powerful story. I have been somewhat aquainted with this subject, so it does touch me on a personal level.
The way this begins is a little sudden. I feel like I've been dropped in from the ceiling; perhaps a little more backstory, even if it's just identifying who is talking and how the protagonist is reacting.
She throws the scissors away, still shaking, and allows herself (to) crymore, wrapping her arms around herself. That is an extremely powerful line. It expresses the emotion very well.
All in all, this is very well written and contains the right words to express the deep emotions. Keep up the great writing!
I'm the back up editor assigned to your piece. I, too, thought you did a great job with your phrasing and word choice to convey the protagonists emotions. I especially like: "the metal is cool and that makes it comforting." My only suggestion is also about expansion. I thought that the transition from the phone call with her depressed friend to her own severely distraught reaction was too sudden. A little more development of why she is now so desperate would help. All in all, though, this is a great piece.
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The way this begins is a little sudden. I feel like I've been dropped in from the ceiling; perhaps a little more backstory, even if it's just identifying who is talking and how the protagonist is reacting.
She throws the scissors away, still shaking, and allows herself (to) crymore, wrapping her arms around herself.
That is an extremely powerful line. It expresses the emotion very well.
All in all, this is very well written and contains the right words to express the deep emotions. Keep up the great writing!
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