Horrible things overheard at work

[ladyblahblah]

Random customer: *completely seriously* "Ohhhhh, Sherlock Holmes is in Mystery?  Who'd have thought?"

And then I nearly bit a hole in my tongue trying not to scream and/or cry.

Comments

[ladyblahblah]

*snerk*

We have giftcards that are designed like "Hello! My name is" stickers that say, "Hello! Call me Ishamel". I once overheard a girl ask her mother what it meant, and her mother explained that they're like those personalized license plates that come with different names on them. >_<

Never make the mistake of thinking that just because people are shopping at a bookstore they have any grasp of literature whatsoever.

[ladyblahblah]

Totally with you on Moby Dick and the early American authors in general. (I want to resurrect James Fenimore Cooper just so that I can beat him back to death with a shovel, I swear.) I love Shakespeare's comedies and a good portion of the tragedies, but the histories can DIAF for all I care.

I made a list once of classics I wanted to read, but I eated it lost it. :( All of which is just reminding me that I really ought to reread Cat's Eye . . .

[anoncomment7]

*facepalm* That is sad. I feel your pain. I used to work at a teacher's supply store, and you wouldn't believe (or maybe you would) the stupidest things people said and/or asked.

This was my favorite incident:

Me: *standing right next to entrance up on the cashier's platform, laminating some stuff*

Customer: *walks in, looks at me laminating stuff* Do you do laminating here?

Me: *facepalming over and over in my head, but calmly and politely answering* Yes, Ma'am, we do.

I just can't get over that one. Mainly because these are the people who are teaching the next generation. *sigh* It's crazy.

Anon7

[christydaae]

ugh...*facepalm*

[ladyblahblah]

My favorite is when I'm at work, behind the counter, my tag on, and someone comes up, looks unsure, and asks, "Um . . . do you work here?"

I've never actually answered 'No' yet, but I've really really wanted to.

[anoncomment7]

*snicker* That'd be priceless.

[christydaae]

Are you serious!?!?
...
...

That...
That's just... sad. really sad. It should be mandatory to read the classics. period. "READ SIR ARTHER CONAN DOYLE, OR DEATH?" no Cake option.

[ladyblahblah]

Cake is reserved for those who have already read him. -_- "Cake" is a valid response to, "Your favorite Sherlock Holmes story or death?"

Cake for me too, please.

[christydaae]

too right.

[eliyes]

*holds up a hardcover Holmes collection which is 3 inches thick*

The only Sherlock Holmes stories that should not usually be found in the Mystery section are the ones that were rewritten as gay porn. And even then, they should be found in the Mystery subsection of the Erotica section. Damn it, I wish I hadn't been broke that time I found that; I haven't seen it since. They had done pictures to match the style of the original illustrations!

[ladyblahblah]

...........

I . . .

I'm sorry, but WHAT???? Are you . . . but . . . for real? You're not just kidding? There's actually Holmes stories rewritten as gay porn?

Don't tease me with this.

[eliyes]

I AM SO COMPLETELY NOT KIDDING.

This was an actual book that I held in my hands. The first story was a mutual friend introducing a recently-back-from-the-war Watson to Holmes, and then they had sex on a lab table.

If I could remember the title or the perpetrator I would have totally ordered this from Amazon or somewhere in the intervening times when I've had money, but even before the new movie came out, my google fu was not up to the task.

[fiery_tigress]

You know that's as bad as working behind the register at a gas station and having someone come in and ask if we sell cigarettes. *Points to the wall of Cancer sticks*

And after you say yes, they tell you they want a pack, but don't mention a brand or type or size.

Seriously, I had a customer last night ask if we sold cigs. When I said yep, they asked for a pack. I stood there waiting for them to specify and they got all huffy at me.

For future reference, Gas station clerks are NOT mind readers! :) *we do a brisk business in therapy though*

[ladyblahblah]

XD

We get a lot of people coming in with some variation on, "Hi, I'm looking for a book . . . I don't know the title . . . or the author . . . my friend told me I should read it, I think it has something to do with a duck."

We've actually had someone come in saying, "I'm looking for a book; I think it's blue." o_O