IT'S ALWAYS BEEN YOU (Oneshot)
IT'S ALWAYS BEEN YOU
A Kradamadness Fill (Round #6, Game)
By: Lady Michaelis
Pairing: Adam Lambert/Kris Allen, mentions of Adam Lambert/OMC
Rating: NC17
Warnings: Sexual situations, foul language
Genre: Romance/Drama
Summary: For Kris Allen, there had always been just one man.
Disclaimers: I own no one. Except for Darren. And he's not even Darren Criss. Fudge.
"Honestly, you people are horrible at planning surprises," Kris Allen heard Tommy Ratliff declare over the din of the chaos that was currently taking over his world. "Whose stupid idea was it to send Brad shopping with Adam as an attempt to distract him? You know very well how Brad's mouth works when he's excited about something. This is all doomed to fail."
"Oh, I know how that mouth works, alright," Cassidy Haley laughed. "Believe me, I've had it wrapped around a certain part of my anatomy quite a number of times now. You need to stop worrying about everything, Tommy Joe; this is all going to go according to plan."
"Whatever. Brad is going to end up saying something suspicious, and Adam will manage to pry the whole story out of him because he can be such a brat when people are keeping things from him. Anyway, I'm off to find Kris; he's probably the only one in this house who isn't in the mood to pin carnations in my hair right now."
Kris held his hand up in a half-hearted wave as Tommy crossed the living room to join him. It still surprised him how well he and Tommy had bonded over the few months they had known each other. Tommy was witty, open-minded and had great taste in music; all of which were traits Kris liked in people. Another Tommy trait that Kris appreciated the most--and sometimes, feared--was that he could read Kris like an open book. Tommy could tell how he felt just by searching his face, and he would prove to be correct on most occasions.
"Sometimes, I wish I pushed through with my plan of lacing your drinks with an aphrodisiac. That way, you would have fucked liked bunnies, avoided each other for a week or so after one night of mind-blowing sex, and eventually make out like long-lost lovers in the subway after X number of days because you realized that you were perfect for each other all along."
Kris managed to crack a smile at that. He could always count on Tommy to make him feel better about things even if he pieced his feel-better statements together in the strangest ways possible. Tommy never sugarcoated anything, and Kris adored him for that.
"It's too late now, though," he said softly. "They're getting married in four months, and I already promised myself I wouldn't get in the way of Adam's happiness."
When Kris looked back on the way things had gone, he would often berate himself for being such an idiot. The moment he had finalized his divorce, everything had been laid bare before him. He and Adam had gone back to their old ways of spending inordinate amounts of time together, doing everything and nothing until Kris could muster enough strength to get back on his feet. He'd thought nothing of it back then; Adam had always been his best friend and Kris had been determined to keep things that way. He had gotten so caught up in keeping their friendship alive that he had failed to notice the new man that had suddenly waltzed into Adam's life.
Darren Monroe did not fit the mold of twink that Adam would normally give an arm and a leg for. He was tiny, blond and British--that in itself had caused an eyebrow raising festival among the many people in Adam's life. He ran an oil company as his incredibly rich father's right-hand man as well as co-managed a charity with his stepmother. They had met when Darren's family donated a huge amount of money in support of Adam's DonorsChoose project, and had been inseparable since then. Adam's friends and family had liked him well enough, but no one had been expecting them to stay together for more than a month. Or three. Or five. Or much less end up engaged to be married. Adam had shocked everyone when he proposed to Darren during one of the stops on his recently concluded world tour. He'd broken the hearts of fangirls and fanboys alike; his status as Most Eligible Bachelor had gone defunct the moment an elated Darren Monroe screamed, "Yes!" on the YouTube coverage care of Suz526.
He, however, had failed to notice that he had broken his best friend's heart as well.
Kris could not bring himself to pin the blame on Adam, though. He had fallen in love with Adam at some point in his life; he failed to realize it until it was too late. It was just as simple and as complicated as that.
"I was rooting for you, you know," Tommy said softly. "Ever since Glam Nation--fuck, I can't believe that was almost five years ago--I had a feeling that there was something different about the two of you. It was all I could do not to shoot the Kradam haters down; I may have been the guy Adam tongued onstage for all the world to see, but I wasn't the one he would cling to like a life preserver each time he felt like he was going to sink. He was crazy about you, Allen. Sometimes, I think he still is."
"Thanks, Tommy," Kris exhaled. "I just don't want to think about it anymore, you know? I already said I'd be happy for him no matter what; this bridal shower-like thing is my way of making amends for the wishes I make in my head sometimes."
"Come here, precious."
Tommy turned sideways and drew Kris into his arms, tightening them around him in a vice-like hold. Kris clutched at him tightly, suddenly afraid of what could happen if Tommy let him go. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying in vain to blink away the hot tears that were pricking at his eyelids.
"...oh my god. Is he...? Again?"
Taylor. Kris would know his voice anywhere.
"Yeah," Tommy said quietly.
Kris felt Taylor's arms wrap around him from behind, creating a warm, safe cocoon for him together with Tommy's. At that moment, all he could do was cry and allow them to hold him. Maybe later, he could at least face Adam and Darren with a smile.
Eventually, he would have to learn to keep it from hurting too much.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Vodka did wonders for the soul. Earlier that evening, Kris had teamed up with Tommy, Taylor and Cassidy for the wedding trivia game, but they had easily lost to Lee, Monte, Sutan and Isaac. As a 'punishment' (Brad had put his cheeky little twist on all the games) of some sort, the members of the losing team had to down a bottle of vodka all on their own. This was how Kris came to find himself sprawled across Taylor's lap, laughing at some joke that Monte had cracked out of nowhere.
The drunken haze that had wrapped itself around his brain did little to block out the sight of Adam and Darren canoodling on the love seat, though. Darren looked as flawless as usual, suit pressed down to the nines and hair slicked back perfectly over his scalp. Kris frowned as he laughed at something Adam said, the silver band around his finger catching light from the chandelier.
Kris turned away. It was still too much to bear.
Meeting them in the foyer had been difficult enough. As Tommy had predicted, Brad ended up mouthing off to Adam, getting him all wired up and excited about his supposedly secret wedding shower. Kris had fought the urge to burst into tears when Adam swallowed him up in a bear hug and pressed kiss after kiss to his forehead, thanking him again and again for doing this for them. He'd babbled some excuse about having to help Brad in the kitchen, extricating himself from the safety of Adam's arms in order to direct his thoughts elsewhere. Tommy and Taylor had each kept an eye on him all night, making sure there was always something to distract him. He'd felt Monte's eyes on him too every now and then, but the guitarist had neither lifted a finger nor spoken a word to Kris concerning his feelings. To help facilitate the 'healing process', he had kept well out of Adam's way all night, always burrowing himself into Taylor or Tommy to ensure the safety of his well-being. It didn't help that Darren kept trying to make conversation with him, asking Kris stupid things like which color would go best with violet for the wedding motif. Kris would have probably liked him if they had met on different terms, but the fact that he was Adam's fiance made Kris want to avoid him at all costs.
"Sugarbear, get up!" Brad said gleefully, dragging Kris up to stand on his feet. "We're going to play what I like to call 'Who Knows Adam Best?' game; I forbid you on skipping out on this one."
"...an Adam Lambert trivia game?" Tommy arched an eyebrow. "This is all kinds of weird, Brad--although I'll probably win this hands-down because I keep a little black book that holds dirt on everybody. Trust me; I have enough crap on Adam to last me a lifetime."
"I can always count on you to keep my deepest, darkest secrets to yourself," Adam rolled his eyes. "You're lucky I love you, Tommy."
"Of course you love me," Tommy said snootily. "Otherwise, you wouldn't be shoving your tongue down my throat--though that was so five years ago."
"When you were like, twenty-nine," Kris said nonchalantly, clapping a hand over his mouth to prevent a giggle from escaping.
"Which is your age now," Tommy pointed out. "You'll be the one turning the big three-oh next year, Allen."
"Age is but a number," Adam said gaily, looping an arm around Kris as he led him back into the house. "Kris will always be prettier than any of you pixies and Neanderthals no matter what age he's at. Anyway, you should all play Brad's game; I really want to know who loves me the most."
As soon as everyone had taken their places, Brad quickly handed out some white boards, markers and erasers to all the participants (Kris, Darren, Tommy, Monte and Cassidy) before taking his place next to Adam with his fishbowl of questions.
"Okay, so Adam here is going to draw a question out of the bowl. He's going to read it aloud, and all you have to do is write down your answer on your white board when I tell you to. As soon as time is up--I'll give you ten seconds to write down your answers--you have to raise the board in the air. The winner of this game gets...I don't know; something. I'll worry about that later."
"The winner gets Seven Minutes in Heaven with me," Adam laughed, winking at Darren. "Honey, you'd better win this. I don't think Monte will appreciate being in a closet with me, and I probably won't make it to the wedding alive if I end up in there with Tommy."
"Oh, don't worry," Darren grinned. "I believe I know my fiance well enough to win a mindless trivia game."
Kris clutched at his white board tightly, resisting the urge to throw it at Adam's face. He hoped it was just the alcohol talking because it was uncharacteristic of him to suddenly feel angry for no reason.
"Alright, here's the first question," Adam drew a rolled-up piece of paper out of the bowl. "Oh, this is an easy one; I will totally be offended if one of you gets it wrong. What did I name the goldfish Tommy got me for my birthday this January?"
"Dead giveaway, man," Tommy shook his head, scribbling down his answer. "You've got to start asking more difficult questions."
Glitterpoodle. It was one big 'DUH' hanging in the air over Kris' head. Only Adam would give a fish a name as ridiculous and unrelated as 'Glitterpoodle'.
As he had expected, no one had gotten it wrong. Tommy even had the time to insert a terribly done goldfish doodle.
"Great, so that's a point for everyone!" Brad cheered. "Tay, I hope you're keeping tabs on the scoring."
"Oh, this one's a little trickier," Adam grinned. "What color were the briefs I accidentally left behind in the shower room when we went for a swim at that posh Malibu resort?"
Kris laughed as he scrawled his answer down. Taylor had been the one to find the bright blue briefs in the shower room, and he and Kris strung it up the flagpole bearing the resort flag as a joke. Of course, they had gotten in trouble with management, but the trouble had all been worth it.
Also, Adam and Darren hadn't met yet, and Kris was pretty sure Adam had kept the story confidential.
"Okay, boards up, everyone!" Brad called. "And the answer is bright blue--only Kris and Tommy answered it correctly."
"I can't believe you hid this gem of a story from us, man," Monte laughed. "I really should have gone along with you guys!"
"You missed out on so much epic!" Taylor giggled. "Kris and I ran the infamous undies up a flagpole; Adam totally freaked out when he found out. We got in trouble with management and ended up having to pay extra, but that was so much fun!"
"...you let them run your underwear up a flagpole?" Darren asked Adam, his tone disapproving.
"Honey, I had no idea they were going to do it," Adam placated, his lips curved up in an amused grin. "Besides, it was all in good fun."
"Still, that was a good example of unruly behavior," Darren frowned. "I hope you won't do it again."
"Fine," Tommy shrugged flippantly. "You have your own definition of fun, I get that. Guess what? So do we."
"Let's move on to the next question, then," Adam said hurriedly, apparently eager to escape the tension. "Okay, so this is going to be a little challenging if you aren't mindful of my behavior. What is the first thing I do when I wake up in the morning?"
Kris pursed his lips in concentration, trying to remember the scenes he would wake up to whenever the alarm clock got to him first. This was a tricky question, as Adam's morning routine went through several variations time and time again. Memories of Idol, the tour, Tommy's GNT chronicles and the sleepovers he and Adam liked to hold after his divorce--something was definitely linking them together.
And suddenly, Kris remembered. He clutched at the board nervously, hoping and praying to every single divine deity out there that he was right. It was strange how the answer to this particular question mattered so much to him; he felt as if this would be the last part of Adam's life that would belong exclusively to them.
"Time's up!" Brad announced. "Reveal your answers, everyone!"
"Brush my teeth?" Adam chuckled at Monte's answer. "That's the first thing I do as soon as I stand up, man. Nice try, though."
"I can't go wrong with my answer," Tommy deadpanned. "You do breathe as soon as you wake up, right?"
"That is very intelligent of you, Tommy; but that isn't what I'm looking for," Adam shook his head. "Cassidy?"
"I said you would wash off last night's makeup, but that involves standing up already," Cassidy grinned, shaking his head. "That merits an incorrect answer, so I'm out this round."
"Well, I'm certain I have this one in the bag," Darren beamed. "I'm the one Adam wakes up next to, so it's only correct for me to say that he gives me a kiss as soon as he opens his eyes--"
"No," Kris interrupted, refusing to meet anyone's eyes. "That's not it."
"Then what is it, Kris?" Darren asked primly. "You haven't been in the same room with Adam for months; you can't be right about your assumptions. Plus, you didn't write your answer down; it will merit as invalid all the same."
"Darren, please," Adam held up a hand to silence him. "Let's listen to what Kris has to say."
All eyes were on him, making Kris even more nervous than he already was. If he wasn't right about this, then he would call everything quits and walk away from Adam without a fight.
"I know this because there are times when I wake up just in time to catch it," he said softly. "Sometimes, I fail to catch it when I wake up before he does; but when things happen the other way around, it is as clear as day to me. This is because as soon as Adam wakes up, he opens his eyes and...looks at me."
He ducked his head quickly, unable to bear the silence that had fallen upon them. If there was one thing he couldn't bring himself to look at right now, that would have to be the expression on Adam's face.
"That is preposterous!" Darren exclaimed. "That is the dumbest and most illogical answer I've ever heard! I told you it isn't possible because you don't wake up next to him anymore! Also, did you ever go on tour with him after American Idol ended? No!"
"Wait," Tommy cut in. "He's right. Adam's bunk was right next to mine during Glam Nation, and he had this little corkboard on the wall next to it with pictures of his friends. Every time he would wake up in the morning, he would roll over to look at Kris' photo. That was the one habit on tour that he just wouldn't break. Feel free to ask Monte or any of the people in our crew about it; they would say the same thing."
"...oh my god," Darren stammered. "Is this why you're always facing the other side when we wake up in the morning, Adam? Do you look at that stupid picture of Kris on your bedside table as soon as you open your eyes?"
"Don't you dare call him stupid!" Adam snapped. "You're being immature about everything, Darren. He's my best friend; I've known him since Idol. We began this journey together."
"Do you even know how you sound right now?" Darren asked incredulously. "You're acting like I just insulted your fucking wife!"
Kris rose from his seat, tipping the stool over in the process. He felt awful all of a sudden. He couldn't stay here and watch everything Adam had ever hoped for fall apart in front of his very eyes.
"...I have to go."
He ran.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
He had a total of six worried-sounding text messages (Tommy, Tommy, Tommy, Taylor, Brad) asking where the hell he was or begging him to come back. He also had three missed calls that he had allowed to go to voice mail.
All three of them had been from Adam.
In all honesty, it had been refreshing to run away with no destination in mind. He couldn't remember how long he had been running; he'd gone on and on until he had no breath left to spare. Somehow, he had ended up in some obscure coffee shop in downtown LA, sipping away at an Americano that tasted more like tar instead of coffee. Nobody who was anybody really went to hole-in-the-wall places like these, so he had been able to slip in without anyone stopping him to ask if he was 'that guy from American Idol'.
Kris felt like he would have killed the first person who might have approached him to make such a query.
The initial shock of what he had done had faded to a dull throb in his chest over the course of his run. The scene kept replaying itself over and over in his head, always zooming in on the inscrutable expression on Adam's face when Kris had made his confession. However, a smidgen of hope lay in between the mix of fear and sorrow, slowly but carefully fighting its way out of Kris' heart. During the course of Idol and the tour, he would always wake up to Adam smiling at him. He'd answered the question that way because that was how he remembered his mornings with Adam, but the affirmations from Tommy (and by form of direct questioning, Darren) had shaken him a little. He knew that he and Adam would always be friends, but he had no idea that it had become something like a ritual for Adam. He was aware of the fact that Adam had harbored some feelings for him in the past, but he figured all those things had gone under the bus at some point in time.
They needed to talk. If Kris would allow this to go on without clearing the air, then all of them would end up regretting their decisions. Steeling himself, he retrieved his phone from his pocket to call Adam before he could change his mind.
"Where the fuck are you?" Adam was practically yelling into the receiver. "We're all worried sick here! For all we knew you could have been dead in a ditch somewhere! Fuck, don't ever do that to me again, Kris. Please."
"I'm okay," Kris said softly. "I'm at a coffee shop downtown; I just...I just needed some time to think a little."
"I know," Adam sighed. "I did a lot of thinking myself. We need to talk, Kris. I just realized we have some unresolved issues."
"...pick me up? I can text you directions."
"I'll be there, baby. I promise."
As soon as they had hung up, Kris approached the lone barista for assistance in mapping out the best way to get to the shop. He knew it would take Adam awhile to arrive, so he ordered a slice of chocolate cake (hopefully, it wouldn't be as bad as the coffee) to keep himself busy until then. He wasn't very hungry, though; having the cake in front of him just gave him something to push and prod with his fork lest he go berserk and end up doing something foolish again.
"Hey. I'm sorry it took so long; I got a ticket for speeding."
"Nothing new," Kris smiled, pushing the plate towards Adam. "Eat up; I know you haven't touched any of the burgers Tommy ordered because you're on some weird diet that you don't need again."
"I hate you," Adam said petulantly, shoving a forkful of cake into his mouth. "You're always luring me in with sugar."
"That's because you can't resist the begging face I make when I want you to eat something."
It amazed Kris how they could still be such at ease with one another even after such an uncomfortable predicament. From the very beginning, they had never really been good at fighting; they simply ended up drifting back to each other in the end.
"So, uhm, what happened to the party?"
"I sent everyone home," Adam replied. "Tommy wanted to come along so he could yell at you for running off with no warning, but I said I needed to talk to you alone."
"I'm sorry about what I said," Kris apologized. "It was really stupid and insensitive of me to say that in front of Darren."
"Yeah, it was," Adam said softly. "But if you hadn't mentioned it, I wouldn't have realized that it's how I still choose to wake up. What Tommy and Darren said are true, Kris; somehow, my unconscious is stuck on the need to wake up to you. I did a lot of thinking when you left, and I think I know why things are the way they are. Baby, please don't hate me for what I'm about to tell you."
"I could never hate you, Adam," Kris assured him. "You know that."
"...I don't think my crush on you ever really went away," Adam said with a bitter chuckle. "I sat through so many months and years trying not to act like a jealous whore each time you and Katy hit the scene together. I was so fucking happy when you two finally called it quits because that meant I could have you to myself at least for awhile before you would meet someone new. Along the way, I realized that thinking all these thoughts and wishing for all these things was so unfair to you, so I decided to step back and let you go once and for all--then Darren came into my life, and...you know. I really felt like I could love him, Kris, I really did. Tonight, however, was proof that I can't ever love him--or anyone, for that matter--the way I love you."
"...oh my god," Kris blurted out. "Adam, I--I have no idea what to say."
"I can imagine," Adam said, smiling sadly. "I tried to walk away from you, Kris; I tried so hard--but I just couldn't. I can't. And I know I will never be able to. So yeah, if you hate me for this, I can live with that."
"Adam, no," Kris gripped his hand tightly, tears blurring his vision. "I'm glad you told me that, actually. If I had to say that I loved you first, I don't think I would have been able to look you in the eye."
"You mean you...?" Adam looked stunned.
"Yeah," Kris croaked. "I've been jealous of Darren since day one. I actually thought I would finally be able to let you go tonight; I didn't want to be standing in the way of your happiness."
"Fuck," Adam shook his head. "You are my happiness, Kris. I know you always will be. Darren told me that before he left, actually. He said that from the very beginning, he had a feeling that he would never be able to compete with you for my heart. He thought that the ring sealed the deal between us, but he figured he was wrong in the end."
"...so the wedding is off?" Kris asked quietly. "I'm so sorry, Adam."
"I'm not," Adam squeezed his hand. "Because I finally have a chance to do this right. We've both waited for each other for far too long, now."
"Well, they say the third time's the charm," Kris smiled. "I was twenty-four when we met; I'm now twenty-nine."
"Almost six long years," Adam chuckled softly. "What have we been doing all this time?"
"We were scared. But that's going to change now; we're going to make this right. It's always been you for me, Adam. Always."
Adam smiled, and brought Kris' hand to his lips.
"It's always been you for me, too. I'll make it so good for you, baby. After all these years, I'm going to give you the romance you deserve."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Kris threw his head back and moaned, trying hard not to jerk up into that warm mouth wrapped around his cock. He had always ran with the notion that sex played a huge part when it came to having a romance with Adam Lambert, but he hadn't been expecting to be manhandled into some seedy motel as soon as Adam had finished off the last mouthful of chocolate cake. Maybe it had been the sherry Adam had purchased in celebration, but whatever deity it was that pushed Adam to drag Kris into a motel room--well, Kris owed it an offering.
"I've always dreamed of this, you know?" Adam murmured, releasing Kris from his mouth with an obscene popping sound. "Time and time again, I would allow myself to imagine what being with you like this--just so you know, the real thing is so much better than anything I could ever imagine."
"I don't know the first thing about gay sex, though," Kris said with a shaky laugh. "I've watched a few pornos here and there, but watching is so different from actually experiencing it. Is it okay if you like, walk me through everything? I'm a little nervous."
"You don't have to be, baby," Adam pressed a light kiss to the head of his cock before slithering his way up Kris' body. "I'll take good care of you."
Kris sighed happily, allowing Adam to devour his mouth once more. The first time they had kissed--it had been after they'd had a few shots of sherry and some other weird concoction each--Kris had felt like a newborn chick hatching out of its shell. Sure, the analogy was lame, but being with Adam made him feel reborn. It had never been this passionate when he had been with Katy; he had loved her, yes, but Adam was igniting sparks in him that he had never thought were there.
"This isn't going to be easy," Adam whispered, his breath hot against Kris' neck. "I'm going to have to open you up and get you ready for my cock, and it's going to feel strange and maybe hurt a little because you've never done this before."
"I uh, not exactly," Kris stammered. "Sometimes, I'd take some lube to bed and...yeah."
"...fuck," Adam swore, his eyes huge and dark with lust. "Do you open yourself up, baby? Do you imagine it's me sliding my fingers into you?"
"Sometimes, yeah," Kris admitted. "I would uhm, imagine things too, you know? Like how it would feel when you would finally, finally push into me, filling me up with your cock."
"Damn," Adam shook his head. "You really are something, Kris Allen."
He rolled over and carried Kris with him, pulling them up into a sitting position. Wordlessly, he extracted a condom and a packet of lube from the pockets of his discarded jeans.
"I want to watch you," he whispered, guiding Kris into a kneeling position. "I want to watch you get yourself ready for me."
Kris moaned, accepting the bottle of lube from Adam with trembling fingers. He hadn't done this in awhile since it had felt like a betrayal, but here he was now, naked before Adam, free to do whatever he wanted. Breathing steadily, he uncapped the bottle and coated his fingers liberally, inhaling sharply as he guided his hand to his ass.
"It's okay, baby," Adam soothed him. "I'm not going to let anything bad happen to you, alright? I'm here, and I always will be."
Nodding, Kris slipped the first finger inside him, moaning at how right and overwhelming it felt. He should have known all along that this was the kind of man he was--the kind that wanted to be filled until there would be no space left for anything else.
"So hot, Kris," Adam crooned softly, petting his hair. "Look at you being so obedient; you're such a good, good boy. I'm going to reward you well for this later. But for now, let me see you open yourself up for me. Imagine that I'm putting my fingers inside you, fucking you slowly because I need you to be able to take something longer and thicker later on."
Kris let out a choked gasp as he slipped a second finger in, immensely turned on by the imagery Adam was feeding him. Maybe someday he could let Adam prepare him for sex. It had always been his deepest, darkest fantasy to allow Adam to have complete control of his body, letting him use Kris as he pleased.
"You're thinking again," Adam accused him, smiling slightly. "You've become easier for me to read over the course of time, Kristopher. In fact, I can almost tell what you must be thinking. Hmmmm, let's turn those fantasies into a really, shall we?"
Adam tore open the foil packet containing the condom and pulled it over his cock, rubbing himself shamelessly with lube to bring his cock to full mast as Kris stared dumbly.
"You're staring, Kris," Adam drawled lazily. "And I love that you are. Come here, baby; climb onto my lap."
Kris obeyed, steadying himself with a hand on Adam's shoulder. What Adam wanted him to do was as clear as day, and it was all he could do not to push that thick, long cock into his aching hole.
"I want you to ease my cock into your hole, Kris," Adam instructed. "Do it slow as so you won't hurt yourself. It'll be easy for you to control the pace from this position."
Kris lowered his free hand to grip Adam's erection, groaning softly as he watched Adam's eyelids flutter closed at the sensation. Ignoring Adam's instructions, he sank down on Adam's cock, not stopping until he was fully seated on Adam's lap.
"Kris, what the actual fuck?" Adam stared at him, clearly torn between pleasure and confusion.
"I wanted it to hurt," Kris replied with a grimace. "I want to remember exactly how it feels to have you inside me. Do it hard for me, Adam; please. I want it to hurt so that you're all I'm ever going to think about. Fuck me so hard that I'll be able to feel you for days."
"Jesus fucking Christ," Adam growled, pulling Kris in for a possessive kiss. "Trust me; I'm all you're ever going to want."
And then Adam was driving into him, hard and fast but oh so good. Kris pushed back down as hard as he could, giving and giving until he had nothing left to offer. He felt owned, possessed and loved--this was it for him. The burn in Adam's stare and the pleasured howl that had torn its way out of his throat as he came sealed everything in for Kris.
He didn't need a ring to know that Adam loved him.
A Kradamadness Fill (Round #6, Game)
By: Lady Michaelis
Pairing: Adam Lambert/Kris Allen, mentions of Adam Lambert/OMC
Rating: NC17
Warnings: Sexual situations, foul language
Genre: Romance/Drama
Summary: For Kris Allen, there had always been just one man.
Disclaimers: I own no one. Except for Darren. And he's not even Darren Criss. Fudge.
"Honestly, you people are horrible at planning surprises," Kris Allen heard Tommy Ratliff declare over the din of the chaos that was currently taking over his world. "Whose stupid idea was it to send Brad shopping with Adam as an attempt to distract him? You know very well how Brad's mouth works when he's excited about something. This is all doomed to fail."
"Oh, I know how that mouth works, alright," Cassidy Haley laughed. "Believe me, I've had it wrapped around a certain part of my anatomy quite a number of times now. You need to stop worrying about everything, Tommy Joe; this is all going to go according to plan."
"Whatever. Brad is going to end up saying something suspicious, and Adam will manage to pry the whole story out of him because he can be such a brat when people are keeping things from him. Anyway, I'm off to find Kris; he's probably the only one in this house who isn't in the mood to pin carnations in my hair right now."
Kris held his hand up in a half-hearted wave as Tommy crossed the living room to join him. It still surprised him how well he and Tommy had bonded over the few months they had known each other. Tommy was witty, open-minded and had great taste in music; all of which were traits Kris liked in people. Another Tommy trait that Kris appreciated the most--and sometimes, feared--was that he could read Kris like an open book. Tommy could tell how he felt just by searching his face, and he would prove to be correct on most occasions.
"Sometimes, I wish I pushed through with my plan of lacing your drinks with an aphrodisiac. That way, you would have fucked liked bunnies, avoided each other for a week or so after one night of mind-blowing sex, and eventually make out like long-lost lovers in the subway after X number of days because you realized that you were perfect for each other all along."
Kris managed to crack a smile at that. He could always count on Tommy to make him feel better about things even if he pieced his feel-better statements together in the strangest ways possible. Tommy never sugarcoated anything, and Kris adored him for that.
"It's too late now, though," he said softly. "They're getting married in four months, and I already promised myself I wouldn't get in the way of Adam's happiness."
When Kris looked back on the way things had gone, he would often berate himself for being such an idiot. The moment he had finalized his divorce, everything had been laid bare before him. He and Adam had gone back to their old ways of spending inordinate amounts of time together, doing everything and nothing until Kris could muster enough strength to get back on his feet. He'd thought nothing of it back then; Adam had always been his best friend and Kris had been determined to keep things that way. He had gotten so caught up in keeping their friendship alive that he had failed to notice the new man that had suddenly waltzed into Adam's life.
Darren Monroe did not fit the mold of twink that Adam would normally give an arm and a leg for. He was tiny, blond and British--that in itself had caused an eyebrow raising festival among the many people in Adam's life. He ran an oil company as his incredibly rich father's right-hand man as well as co-managed a charity with his stepmother. They had met when Darren's family donated a huge amount of money in support of Adam's DonorsChoose project, and had been inseparable since then. Adam's friends and family had liked him well enough, but no one had been expecting them to stay together for more than a month. Or three. Or five. Or much less end up engaged to be married. Adam had shocked everyone when he proposed to Darren during one of the stops on his recently concluded world tour. He'd broken the hearts of fangirls and fanboys alike; his status as Most Eligible Bachelor had gone defunct the moment an elated Darren Monroe screamed, "Yes!" on the YouTube coverage care of Suz526.
He, however, had failed to notice that he had broken his best friend's heart as well.
Kris could not bring himself to pin the blame on Adam, though. He had fallen in love with Adam at some point in his life; he failed to realize it until it was too late. It was just as simple and as complicated as that.
"I was rooting for you, you know," Tommy said softly. "Ever since Glam Nation--fuck, I can't believe that was almost five years ago--I had a feeling that there was something different about the two of you. It was all I could do not to shoot the Kradam haters down; I may have been the guy Adam tongued onstage for all the world to see, but I wasn't the one he would cling to like a life preserver each time he felt like he was going to sink. He was crazy about you, Allen. Sometimes, I think he still is."
"Thanks, Tommy," Kris exhaled. "I just don't want to think about it anymore, you know? I already said I'd be happy for him no matter what; this bridal shower-like thing is my way of making amends for the wishes I make in my head sometimes."
"Come here, precious."
Tommy turned sideways and drew Kris into his arms, tightening them around him in a vice-like hold. Kris clutched at him tightly, suddenly afraid of what could happen if Tommy let him go. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying in vain to blink away the hot tears that were pricking at his eyelids.
"...oh my god. Is he...? Again?"
Taylor. Kris would know his voice anywhere.
"Yeah," Tommy said quietly.
Kris felt Taylor's arms wrap around him from behind, creating a warm, safe cocoon for him together with Tommy's. At that moment, all he could do was cry and allow them to hold him. Maybe later, he could at least face Adam and Darren with a smile.
Eventually, he would have to learn to keep it from hurting too much.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Vodka did wonders for the soul. Earlier that evening, Kris had teamed up with Tommy, Taylor and Cassidy for the wedding trivia game, but they had easily lost to Lee, Monte, Sutan and Isaac. As a 'punishment' (Brad had put his cheeky little twist on all the games) of some sort, the members of the losing team had to down a bottle of vodka all on their own. This was how Kris came to find himself sprawled across Taylor's lap, laughing at some joke that Monte had cracked out of nowhere.
The drunken haze that had wrapped itself around his brain did little to block out the sight of Adam and Darren canoodling on the love seat, though. Darren looked as flawless as usual, suit pressed down to the nines and hair slicked back perfectly over his scalp. Kris frowned as he laughed at something Adam said, the silver band around his finger catching light from the chandelier.
Kris turned away. It was still too much to bear.
Meeting them in the foyer had been difficult enough. As Tommy had predicted, Brad ended up mouthing off to Adam, getting him all wired up and excited about his supposedly secret wedding shower. Kris had fought the urge to burst into tears when Adam swallowed him up in a bear hug and pressed kiss after kiss to his forehead, thanking him again and again for doing this for them. He'd babbled some excuse about having to help Brad in the kitchen, extricating himself from the safety of Adam's arms in order to direct his thoughts elsewhere. Tommy and Taylor had each kept an eye on him all night, making sure there was always something to distract him. He'd felt Monte's eyes on him too every now and then, but the guitarist had neither lifted a finger nor spoken a word to Kris concerning his feelings. To help facilitate the 'healing process', he had kept well out of Adam's way all night, always burrowing himself into Taylor or Tommy to ensure the safety of his well-being. It didn't help that Darren kept trying to make conversation with him, asking Kris stupid things like which color would go best with violet for the wedding motif. Kris would have probably liked him if they had met on different terms, but the fact that he was Adam's fiance made Kris want to avoid him at all costs.
"Sugarbear, get up!" Brad said gleefully, dragging Kris up to stand on his feet. "We're going to play what I like to call 'Who Knows Adam Best?' game; I forbid you on skipping out on this one."
"...an Adam Lambert trivia game?" Tommy arched an eyebrow. "This is all kinds of weird, Brad--although I'll probably win this hands-down because I keep a little black book that holds dirt on everybody. Trust me; I have enough crap on Adam to last me a lifetime."
"I can always count on you to keep my deepest, darkest secrets to yourself," Adam rolled his eyes. "You're lucky I love you, Tommy."
"Of course you love me," Tommy said snootily. "Otherwise, you wouldn't be shoving your tongue down my throat--though that was so five years ago."
"When you were like, twenty-nine," Kris said nonchalantly, clapping a hand over his mouth to prevent a giggle from escaping.
"Which is your age now," Tommy pointed out. "You'll be the one turning the big three-oh next year, Allen."
"Age is but a number," Adam said gaily, looping an arm around Kris as he led him back into the house. "Kris will always be prettier than any of you pixies and Neanderthals no matter what age he's at. Anyway, you should all play Brad's game; I really want to know who loves me the most."
As soon as everyone had taken their places, Brad quickly handed out some white boards, markers and erasers to all the participants (Kris, Darren, Tommy, Monte and Cassidy) before taking his place next to Adam with his fishbowl of questions.
"Okay, so Adam here is going to draw a question out of the bowl. He's going to read it aloud, and all you have to do is write down your answer on your white board when I tell you to. As soon as time is up--I'll give you ten seconds to write down your answers--you have to raise the board in the air. The winner of this game gets...I don't know; something. I'll worry about that later."
"The winner gets Seven Minutes in Heaven with me," Adam laughed, winking at Darren. "Honey, you'd better win this. I don't think Monte will appreciate being in a closet with me, and I probably won't make it to the wedding alive if I end up in there with Tommy."
"Oh, don't worry," Darren grinned. "I believe I know my fiance well enough to win a mindless trivia game."
Kris clutched at his white board tightly, resisting the urge to throw it at Adam's face. He hoped it was just the alcohol talking because it was uncharacteristic of him to suddenly feel angry for no reason.
"Alright, here's the first question," Adam drew a rolled-up piece of paper out of the bowl. "Oh, this is an easy one; I will totally be offended if one of you gets it wrong. What did I name the goldfish Tommy got me for my birthday this January?"
"Dead giveaway, man," Tommy shook his head, scribbling down his answer. "You've got to start asking more difficult questions."
Glitterpoodle. It was one big 'DUH' hanging in the air over Kris' head. Only Adam would give a fish a name as ridiculous and unrelated as 'Glitterpoodle'.
As he had expected, no one had gotten it wrong. Tommy even had the time to insert a terribly done goldfish doodle.
"Great, so that's a point for everyone!" Brad cheered. "Tay, I hope you're keeping tabs on the scoring."
"Oh, this one's a little trickier," Adam grinned. "What color were the briefs I accidentally left behind in the shower room when we went for a swim at that posh Malibu resort?"
Kris laughed as he scrawled his answer down. Taylor had been the one to find the bright blue briefs in the shower room, and he and Kris strung it up the flagpole bearing the resort flag as a joke. Of course, they had gotten in trouble with management, but the trouble had all been worth it.
Also, Adam and Darren hadn't met yet, and Kris was pretty sure Adam had kept the story confidential.
"Okay, boards up, everyone!" Brad called. "And the answer is bright blue--only Kris and Tommy answered it correctly."
"I can't believe you hid this gem of a story from us, man," Monte laughed. "I really should have gone along with you guys!"
"You missed out on so much epic!" Taylor giggled. "Kris and I ran the infamous undies up a flagpole; Adam totally freaked out when he found out. We got in trouble with management and ended up having to pay extra, but that was so much fun!"
"...you let them run your underwear up a flagpole?" Darren asked Adam, his tone disapproving.
"Honey, I had no idea they were going to do it," Adam placated, his lips curved up in an amused grin. "Besides, it was all in good fun."
"Still, that was a good example of unruly behavior," Darren frowned. "I hope you won't do it again."
"Fine," Tommy shrugged flippantly. "You have your own definition of fun, I get that. Guess what? So do we."
"Let's move on to the next question, then," Adam said hurriedly, apparently eager to escape the tension. "Okay, so this is going to be a little challenging if you aren't mindful of my behavior. What is the first thing I do when I wake up in the morning?"
Kris pursed his lips in concentration, trying to remember the scenes he would wake up to whenever the alarm clock got to him first. This was a tricky question, as Adam's morning routine went through several variations time and time again. Memories of Idol, the tour, Tommy's GNT chronicles and the sleepovers he and Adam liked to hold after his divorce--something was definitely linking them together.
And suddenly, Kris remembered. He clutched at the board nervously, hoping and praying to every single divine deity out there that he was right. It was strange how the answer to this particular question mattered so much to him; he felt as if this would be the last part of Adam's life that would belong exclusively to them.
"Time's up!" Brad announced. "Reveal your answers, everyone!"
"Brush my teeth?" Adam chuckled at Monte's answer. "That's the first thing I do as soon as I stand up, man. Nice try, though."
"I can't go wrong with my answer," Tommy deadpanned. "You do breathe as soon as you wake up, right?"
"That is very intelligent of you, Tommy; but that isn't what I'm looking for," Adam shook his head. "Cassidy?"
"I said you would wash off last night's makeup, but that involves standing up already," Cassidy grinned, shaking his head. "That merits an incorrect answer, so I'm out this round."
"Well, I'm certain I have this one in the bag," Darren beamed. "I'm the one Adam wakes up next to, so it's only correct for me to say that he gives me a kiss as soon as he opens his eyes--"
"No," Kris interrupted, refusing to meet anyone's eyes. "That's not it."
"Then what is it, Kris?" Darren asked primly. "You haven't been in the same room with Adam for months; you can't be right about your assumptions. Plus, you didn't write your answer down; it will merit as invalid all the same."
"Darren, please," Adam held up a hand to silence him. "Let's listen to what Kris has to say."
All eyes were on him, making Kris even more nervous than he already was. If he wasn't right about this, then he would call everything quits and walk away from Adam without a fight.
"I know this because there are times when I wake up just in time to catch it," he said softly. "Sometimes, I fail to catch it when I wake up before he does; but when things happen the other way around, it is as clear as day to me. This is because as soon as Adam wakes up, he opens his eyes and...looks at me."
He ducked his head quickly, unable to bear the silence that had fallen upon them. If there was one thing he couldn't bring himself to look at right now, that would have to be the expression on Adam's face.
"That is preposterous!" Darren exclaimed. "That is the dumbest and most illogical answer I've ever heard! I told you it isn't possible because you don't wake up next to him anymore! Also, did you ever go on tour with him after American Idol ended? No!"
"Wait," Tommy cut in. "He's right. Adam's bunk was right next to mine during Glam Nation, and he had this little corkboard on the wall next to it with pictures of his friends. Every time he would wake up in the morning, he would roll over to look at Kris' photo. That was the one habit on tour that he just wouldn't break. Feel free to ask Monte or any of the people in our crew about it; they would say the same thing."
"...oh my god," Darren stammered. "Is this why you're always facing the other side when we wake up in the morning, Adam? Do you look at that stupid picture of Kris on your bedside table as soon as you open your eyes?"
"Don't you dare call him stupid!" Adam snapped. "You're being immature about everything, Darren. He's my best friend; I've known him since Idol. We began this journey together."
"Do you even know how you sound right now?" Darren asked incredulously. "You're acting like I just insulted your fucking wife!"
Kris rose from his seat, tipping the stool over in the process. He felt awful all of a sudden. He couldn't stay here and watch everything Adam had ever hoped for fall apart in front of his very eyes.
"...I have to go."
He ran.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
He had a total of six worried-sounding text messages (Tommy, Tommy, Tommy, Taylor, Brad) asking where the hell he was or begging him to come back. He also had three missed calls that he had allowed to go to voice mail.
All three of them had been from Adam.
In all honesty, it had been refreshing to run away with no destination in mind. He couldn't remember how long he had been running; he'd gone on and on until he had no breath left to spare. Somehow, he had ended up in some obscure coffee shop in downtown LA, sipping away at an Americano that tasted more like tar instead of coffee. Nobody who was anybody really went to hole-in-the-wall places like these, so he had been able to slip in without anyone stopping him to ask if he was 'that guy from American Idol'.
Kris felt like he would have killed the first person who might have approached him to make such a query.
The initial shock of what he had done had faded to a dull throb in his chest over the course of his run. The scene kept replaying itself over and over in his head, always zooming in on the inscrutable expression on Adam's face when Kris had made his confession. However, a smidgen of hope lay in between the mix of fear and sorrow, slowly but carefully fighting its way out of Kris' heart. During the course of Idol and the tour, he would always wake up to Adam smiling at him. He'd answered the question that way because that was how he remembered his mornings with Adam, but the affirmations from Tommy (and by form of direct questioning, Darren) had shaken him a little. He knew that he and Adam would always be friends, but he had no idea that it had become something like a ritual for Adam. He was aware of the fact that Adam had harbored some feelings for him in the past, but he figured all those things had gone under the bus at some point in time.
They needed to talk. If Kris would allow this to go on without clearing the air, then all of them would end up regretting their decisions. Steeling himself, he retrieved his phone from his pocket to call Adam before he could change his mind.
"Where the fuck are you?" Adam was practically yelling into the receiver. "We're all worried sick here! For all we knew you could have been dead in a ditch somewhere! Fuck, don't ever do that to me again, Kris. Please."
"I'm okay," Kris said softly. "I'm at a coffee shop downtown; I just...I just needed some time to think a little."
"I know," Adam sighed. "I did a lot of thinking myself. We need to talk, Kris. I just realized we have some unresolved issues."
"...pick me up? I can text you directions."
"I'll be there, baby. I promise."
As soon as they had hung up, Kris approached the lone barista for assistance in mapping out the best way to get to the shop. He knew it would take Adam awhile to arrive, so he ordered a slice of chocolate cake (hopefully, it wouldn't be as bad as the coffee) to keep himself busy until then. He wasn't very hungry, though; having the cake in front of him just gave him something to push and prod with his fork lest he go berserk and end up doing something foolish again.
"Hey. I'm sorry it took so long; I got a ticket for speeding."
"Nothing new," Kris smiled, pushing the plate towards Adam. "Eat up; I know you haven't touched any of the burgers Tommy ordered because you're on some weird diet that you don't need again."
"I hate you," Adam said petulantly, shoving a forkful of cake into his mouth. "You're always luring me in with sugar."
"That's because you can't resist the begging face I make when I want you to eat something."
It amazed Kris how they could still be such at ease with one another even after such an uncomfortable predicament. From the very beginning, they had never really been good at fighting; they simply ended up drifting back to each other in the end.
"So, uhm, what happened to the party?"
"I sent everyone home," Adam replied. "Tommy wanted to come along so he could yell at you for running off with no warning, but I said I needed to talk to you alone."
"I'm sorry about what I said," Kris apologized. "It was really stupid and insensitive of me to say that in front of Darren."
"Yeah, it was," Adam said softly. "But if you hadn't mentioned it, I wouldn't have realized that it's how I still choose to wake up. What Tommy and Darren said are true, Kris; somehow, my unconscious is stuck on the need to wake up to you. I did a lot of thinking when you left, and I think I know why things are the way they are. Baby, please don't hate me for what I'm about to tell you."
"I could never hate you, Adam," Kris assured him. "You know that."
"...I don't think my crush on you ever really went away," Adam said with a bitter chuckle. "I sat through so many months and years trying not to act like a jealous whore each time you and Katy hit the scene together. I was so fucking happy when you two finally called it quits because that meant I could have you to myself at least for awhile before you would meet someone new. Along the way, I realized that thinking all these thoughts and wishing for all these things was so unfair to you, so I decided to step back and let you go once and for all--then Darren came into my life, and...you know. I really felt like I could love him, Kris, I really did. Tonight, however, was proof that I can't ever love him--or anyone, for that matter--the way I love you."
"...oh my god," Kris blurted out. "Adam, I--I have no idea what to say."
"I can imagine," Adam said, smiling sadly. "I tried to walk away from you, Kris; I tried so hard--but I just couldn't. I can't. And I know I will never be able to. So yeah, if you hate me for this, I can live with that."
"Adam, no," Kris gripped his hand tightly, tears blurring his vision. "I'm glad you told me that, actually. If I had to say that I loved you first, I don't think I would have been able to look you in the eye."
"You mean you...?" Adam looked stunned.
"Yeah," Kris croaked. "I've been jealous of Darren since day one. I actually thought I would finally be able to let you go tonight; I didn't want to be standing in the way of your happiness."
"Fuck," Adam shook his head. "You are my happiness, Kris. I know you always will be. Darren told me that before he left, actually. He said that from the very beginning, he had a feeling that he would never be able to compete with you for my heart. He thought that the ring sealed the deal between us, but he figured he was wrong in the end."
"...so the wedding is off?" Kris asked quietly. "I'm so sorry, Adam."
"I'm not," Adam squeezed his hand. "Because I finally have a chance to do this right. We've both waited for each other for far too long, now."
"Well, they say the third time's the charm," Kris smiled. "I was twenty-four when we met; I'm now twenty-nine."
"Almost six long years," Adam chuckled softly. "What have we been doing all this time?"
"We were scared. But that's going to change now; we're going to make this right. It's always been you for me, Adam. Always."
Adam smiled, and brought Kris' hand to his lips.
"It's always been you for me, too. I'll make it so good for you, baby. After all these years, I'm going to give you the romance you deserve."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Kris threw his head back and moaned, trying hard not to jerk up into that warm mouth wrapped around his cock. He had always ran with the notion that sex played a huge part when it came to having a romance with Adam Lambert, but he hadn't been expecting to be manhandled into some seedy motel as soon as Adam had finished off the last mouthful of chocolate cake. Maybe it had been the sherry Adam had purchased in celebration, but whatever deity it was that pushed Adam to drag Kris into a motel room--well, Kris owed it an offering.
"I've always dreamed of this, you know?" Adam murmured, releasing Kris from his mouth with an obscene popping sound. "Time and time again, I would allow myself to imagine what being with you like this--just so you know, the real thing is so much better than anything I could ever imagine."
"I don't know the first thing about gay sex, though," Kris said with a shaky laugh. "I've watched a few pornos here and there, but watching is so different from actually experiencing it. Is it okay if you like, walk me through everything? I'm a little nervous."
"You don't have to be, baby," Adam pressed a light kiss to the head of his cock before slithering his way up Kris' body. "I'll take good care of you."
Kris sighed happily, allowing Adam to devour his mouth once more. The first time they had kissed--it had been after they'd had a few shots of sherry and some other weird concoction each--Kris had felt like a newborn chick hatching out of its shell. Sure, the analogy was lame, but being with Adam made him feel reborn. It had never been this passionate when he had been with Katy; he had loved her, yes, but Adam was igniting sparks in him that he had never thought were there.
"This isn't going to be easy," Adam whispered, his breath hot against Kris' neck. "I'm going to have to open you up and get you ready for my cock, and it's going to feel strange and maybe hurt a little because you've never done this before."
"I uh, not exactly," Kris stammered. "Sometimes, I'd take some lube to bed and...yeah."
"...fuck," Adam swore, his eyes huge and dark with lust. "Do you open yourself up, baby? Do you imagine it's me sliding my fingers into you?"
"Sometimes, yeah," Kris admitted. "I would uhm, imagine things too, you know? Like how it would feel when you would finally, finally push into me, filling me up with your cock."
"Damn," Adam shook his head. "You really are something, Kris Allen."
He rolled over and carried Kris with him, pulling them up into a sitting position. Wordlessly, he extracted a condom and a packet of lube from the pockets of his discarded jeans.
"I want to watch you," he whispered, guiding Kris into a kneeling position. "I want to watch you get yourself ready for me."
Kris moaned, accepting the bottle of lube from Adam with trembling fingers. He hadn't done this in awhile since it had felt like a betrayal, but here he was now, naked before Adam, free to do whatever he wanted. Breathing steadily, he uncapped the bottle and coated his fingers liberally, inhaling sharply as he guided his hand to his ass.
"It's okay, baby," Adam soothed him. "I'm not going to let anything bad happen to you, alright? I'm here, and I always will be."
Nodding, Kris slipped the first finger inside him, moaning at how right and overwhelming it felt. He should have known all along that this was the kind of man he was--the kind that wanted to be filled until there would be no space left for anything else.
"So hot, Kris," Adam crooned softly, petting his hair. "Look at you being so obedient; you're such a good, good boy. I'm going to reward you well for this later. But for now, let me see you open yourself up for me. Imagine that I'm putting my fingers inside you, fucking you slowly because I need you to be able to take something longer and thicker later on."
Kris let out a choked gasp as he slipped a second finger in, immensely turned on by the imagery Adam was feeding him. Maybe someday he could let Adam prepare him for sex. It had always been his deepest, darkest fantasy to allow Adam to have complete control of his body, letting him use Kris as he pleased.
"You're thinking again," Adam accused him, smiling slightly. "You've become easier for me to read over the course of time, Kristopher. In fact, I can almost tell what you must be thinking. Hmmmm, let's turn those fantasies into a really, shall we?"
Adam tore open the foil packet containing the condom and pulled it over his cock, rubbing himself shamelessly with lube to bring his cock to full mast as Kris stared dumbly.
"You're staring, Kris," Adam drawled lazily. "And I love that you are. Come here, baby; climb onto my lap."
Kris obeyed, steadying himself with a hand on Adam's shoulder. What Adam wanted him to do was as clear as day, and it was all he could do not to push that thick, long cock into his aching hole.
"I want you to ease my cock into your hole, Kris," Adam instructed. "Do it slow as so you won't hurt yourself. It'll be easy for you to control the pace from this position."
Kris lowered his free hand to grip Adam's erection, groaning softly as he watched Adam's eyelids flutter closed at the sensation. Ignoring Adam's instructions, he sank down on Adam's cock, not stopping until he was fully seated on Adam's lap.
"Kris, what the actual fuck?" Adam stared at him, clearly torn between pleasure and confusion.
"I wanted it to hurt," Kris replied with a grimace. "I want to remember exactly how it feels to have you inside me. Do it hard for me, Adam; please. I want it to hurt so that you're all I'm ever going to think about. Fuck me so hard that I'll be able to feel you for days."
"Jesus fucking Christ," Adam growled, pulling Kris in for a possessive kiss. "Trust me; I'm all you're ever going to want."
And then Adam was driving into him, hard and fast but oh so good. Kris pushed back down as hard as he could, giving and giving until he had nothing left to offer. He felt owned, possessed and loved--this was it for him. The burn in Adam's stare and the pleasured howl that had torn its way out of his throat as he came sealed everything in for Kris.
He didn't need a ring to know that Adam loved him.